But when you google these behaviors topics on 'narcissism' pop up and we end up having a lot of women complainin the ex was a narcissist and the joke that all women's exes were narcissists and the player is painted as 'avoidant'. Typical men behavior is characterized as a personality disorder and an exception to the rule.
@@redleeks6253 Women on twatter were saying those guys who 🎻’s Gisele in France 🇫🇷 were “a special” breed of monster. I kept saying these were “average” everyday dudes. They ignored my comment when I said this repeatedly. 😢 I said YOU know these guys, your (we) are friends with their sisters, chat with their mothers in church, live across the street from them: I said these are NOT special category of 👺.
When i dated my first girlfriend i acted like a typical man. I was depressed and scared and i have made her a scapegoat, i thought that she's not that smart, too emotional, too much asking, too annoying(and still deep inside i knew i need her badly). I realized through therapy and inner work that my arrogance is the problem, not her, so i opened up to her and that was scary but amazing. I see how easy it for a young man to slip into this narrative of subconsciously feeling above women, it's not their fault but 💯 their responsibility. I improved myself for her, so i definitely know this narcissistic behaviour can be UNLERNED!! No excuses for this.
What happened to the days when appliances did the job you bought them for. Women are so insidious in their acrimony and greed it’s ridiculous. If a guy is so vapid he trades in the old model for the new plastic Barbie, then the women who contour, get Botox and plastic surgery aren’t worth the risk. Women don’t have to ALWAYS the guy from highschool they were attracted to who decided to move on. Ladies are Lily Phillips and Tik Tok? Were still glowing up shiny, bright and beautiful? The butterfly is the moth still. Stay single ladies. The irony of 90% of men who prefer natural. Learn to be a lone wolf and forget about maternal instincts. Save those for your feral boss babe summers when you howl in your divine feminine witch energy. Christian witches, born again pick me’s lying about body counts. It’s a fine mess the gatekeepers of procreation have set the standard in since the 1840’s. Fly ointment and Mary Wollstonecraft and her daughter writing Frankenstein to suffragettes on the horse track to Phyllis Schlafley and Gloria Steinem. Times are tough. I suggest trying to balance the testosterone and estrogen with the endorphins women expect. Life doesn’t care about anyone’s fulfillment. Choose wisely ladies! Chef’s kiss. Muah
I've been working at universities for the past 8 years and the number of 40-something-year-old Dr.s marrying 22-23-year-old secretaries that come from completely different socioeconomic/cultural/educational background is astonishing. Some of them just drop their wives too
And the male professors actively keep women from becoming full professors. This has gone on since at least the 80s when my mother was always overlooked despite having her doctorate degree and having debuted in Vienna as a concert pianist. The males were so jealous of her that they only ever made her an assistant professor, shifted their students off onto her, and she had to pull miracles out of her arse to get their students ready for their boards. Same thing is happening to my friend who’s a psychiatrist. She’s also kept in assistant professor status and never full professorship.
@@toscadonna yep not only the structure and culture are pretty archaic, but also the men in academia are especially catty idk how to say it. They go above and beyond to attack you and belittle you during presentations, defenses etc too. And if you give an emotional reaction, they're like see women can't take criticism. I can perfectly visualize what you described above. It is so frustrating
They seem to have that weird ish in common. They can't read stats properly, make up stats to fit their narratives, and can't comprehend. Like wtf. They love using the exception ONLY when they're trying to make themselves look good and wind up looking worse 😅
@@AVibeCalledYes Men dont care about compatibility indeed. Men learn to lie because women do it inherently (without realizing it) and throw a tantrum when something goes against what is not conscious (emotional manipulation.. they feel bad so everyone needs to feel bad, too). The will to obtain "whatever" is conscious, but the reasoning doesn't exist. Hence the emotional response to justify the gap or canyon of logic missing. Sadly, and please hear this / share it: men spent time, money and effort initially so they want a return on investment: seggs/pump and dump. If you don't go 50/50 early, You're going to get played because Men Are Smarter (the men you want / that have options). Why do you think I know this? Please share that notion with other women and you'll stop getting effed by actually learning what reciprocity means and why it's Fundamentally Necessary to protect yourself and respect the men you date (regardless of whom they are.. 3-8/10. Dont date 9s and 10s because you'll be expected to have seggs early and you will get dumped. Again, I ask you, Why do you think I know this?). Don't be a smartass and pretend I didn't tell you everything you needed to know to hit the ground running. Stop competing with appearances: we do Not settle for looks. Men AND women want the best they can get... it's mostly about psychology = are you kind, are you capable of having a conversation (opinions of your own not just pulled from some nonsensical sect/magazines), humble (speak the truth and know where that comes from rather than "just following your impressions/vibes"). I could go on, but I'm sure Most women will remain stuck in "high value"-ignorance land. "high value" has nothing to do with the physical world. Sure, hygiene is important. Make-up? Not Even One product is required. Not even One. You're not comfy with yourself = THAT is insecurity. Remove the make-up. You do this because of your skewed perception of yourself (actually ugly inside) or because you want to impress other women. Want to impress a man? Learn manners. Be polite, Be kind, Determine what the GUY wants and listen. Talk when it makes sense not just to fill the silence. You know what Actually good men love? Silence from time to time. Good women Also like silence. Let's share that. Let's share everything. Be vulnerable and tell the guy you're not particularly attractive inside and that you need to wear makeup to feel better, but decided to try something new = that type of honesty will get you a good person. I could do this all day. I'd love to help people realize this isn't complicated if they Learn To Care. Being a woman doesn't mean you've learned this. It just means you have lady parts and that crap means nothing. Men will get a return on investment so you're better to have a walk / coffee and Want to learn. Heck, I'd go as far as to say: Learn to learn. People are so utterly ignorant as to what filters Should be applied to information that they just give up entirely and just go with impressions and vibes). Vibes get you effed. You've messed up more than once that's why you're still reading.. learn clear notions from people that Do care. I might care more about you Lost souls than people around you ever did. I sincerely wish you the best. Ah and one last thing: Love happens After the boring phase. Some of you never got to that part... Drop your guard and learn to care for someone that Will reciprocate Your efforts and Learn to do the same! Listen to him xD... poor thing deserves you to Copy this message and keep it preciously. My words will get you married. Yet, you will be the one doing the work. Merit what you have. Relationships are fragile so dont test them. Alright that was a lot of freebies. Now time for you to stop pretending you can't overcome your fear (remove that lie/makeup!). Men felt so invalidated by your behaviors that they elected the worst of the worst. Yes, this is the main culprit. (pushed onto you by apps, but lets not go there).
This is why anyone who *insists* that they've hit the jackpot when it comes to being with "a good partner/relationships". People like this are often dishonest about the true nature of their relationship. However, even if people genuinely experience a "healthy/happy relationship" in their eyes, they can never be sure when that fairytale love story will change or end.
True. I'm in a happy relationship, but I know things can change really fast, which is why I always center myself, I am childfree, will have a Living-apart-together marriage, and will never be financially dependent on my future husband! Always prioritize yourselves, ladies!
@@karina-annen So happy for you for this. Honestly from everything I've witnessed and learned in life, the 'Living Apart but Together' whilst centering yourself actually sounds like the "healthiest" relationship dynamic between people and ita good that it is working for you. Also yes, glad you can enjoy your relationship, but are realistic and aware that a seemingly happy relationship can change at any time.
@@Sasha-zl1xr thank you! I could never live with my fiancé, I am a messy person lol and I don't like the expectation of having to clean after anyone but myself.
Ohhhhh....I thought that because we did get married that he valued me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. In fact, he wanted to get married more than I did. After 3 years of marriage and 7 years total of being together, one day, he was just done. I was the starter wife. This makes so much sense. I wish I had known this 20 years ago
Wives can also be placeholders and remember some men never reach the social status required to get a better woman so they'll just stick with what they have. 'Men don't love women like you' book explains this 'placeholder' concept very well😊
That’s why it’s a good idea to not tell men what you want in a man! Date, and leave if they end up not being the man you want. If you tell them what you want in a man, they’ll just pretend.
And stop giving men your Instagram account info, he's just trying to see what you like so he can pretend to be what you like, need and want. He can mimic your personality to make it seem ya'll have something in common. Be careful about sharing too much of yourselves on social media.
What I got from this is be the main character in your own life and be as selfish as possible because truthfully no one e owes you anything and you owe yourself everything.
They don't & that's why I don't pick them based on love. I'm looking for who would be the best possible candidate to share children with, including financial stability, emotional intelligence, the kind of humor I would want my future kids to enjoy, etc. I'm also looking for someone who is eye candy TO ME, just as they do. Don't fall for the ones that say you should love them for who they are without conditions. Relationships are a barter/deal. Conditions are necessary. Get something out of it or men will drain you. I don't believe in love without conditions unless you are an innocent child.
That's how I picked my fiancé, he's hot, financially stable, treats me very well, and always pays 100% on our dates! The only thing I'm doing differently is that since I'm childfree, I chose a man who has had a vasectomy. I also had a bilateral salpingectomy (because I don't want to risk pregnancy because of 🍇), also, we're never moving in together, we'll have a living-together-apart relationship (I also insist on being financially independent), and we currently live across the street from each other and will continue to do so after the wedding! Also, my older sister is a divorce attorney and has drawn an ironclad prenup! We also moved to Europe recently, because there's no way I'll ever live in Project 2025 America. I may not even come back to visit for years.
@@winning3329True. But sharing this with younger siblings, nieces, and cousins… in fact having a genuine transparent talk about the reality of the world is better
this knowledge everything. what we value is not necessarily what they value. "the purpose was to dump you" after you doing the things they want you to be doing for HIS life.
I have lived it and it changed me forever. I cannot dim myself enough to be an appliance when I am a fully functioning human being. The pain was intense but the insight was truly rewarding. I’m so glad that I discovered this truth before marriage and a divorce.
2:17 Exactly. This is what I say. Men keep you around because it’s convenient for them. If you’re hot enough they’ll stick around. But if you’re not his real type he will leave when she comes along. If he truly likes blondes and you’re a brunette and he finds you hot he will date you until the blonde he truly wants.
I was once in a relationship where I wasn't treated well and often ignored. We couldn't bond over shared interests or have much of a connection. When I finally started asking questions, I was told that we're just not too compatible. Sure, fine. Fast forward some years, I've moved on and grew as a person, and now they're showing interest in who I am. Now I'm the one disinterested and citing incompatibility, but don't you know, suddenly "compatibility is just a small part of something as complex as a relationship..." 😂
@@likemycommentifyouwantareply They're "helpless bebe, who was never taught survival skills 🥺" and "let him win or he will be sad", but also world and societal leaders and CEOs, "deemed superior by god"? Give me a break. We cut them too much slack, they should start proving their competence in action or sit down.
I have a friend who said he wanted to date me. I told him I don't feel that way about him, and he talked about how great we get along and how much he likes me. But we're only compatible as friends. The reason we get a long so well is because we take frequent breaks from each other, we both start getting annoyed after spending too much time. Also he's had very few relationships, and he's flat out said he just wants more experience. I feel like he only thinks he likes me because I'm a woman he's familiar with. Fuck no I'm not dating him
Is this the new playbook of the men? 1. doing the bare minimum 2. lying and want a relationship fast for to get the 🐱 3. break up cuz you are not compatibel
@@hardcandy71287 Because we project ourselves in them and expect they will think and act normally like us, since they are born from us and have half chromosomes and their entire mitochondrial DNA in our image.
Some of the best dating of bicep ever received is putting time limits on romantic partnerships. If you know you wanna be in a relationship with this man, but you guys have been talking for about six months cut them off. Yes this will hurt you and the other person but if you’ve had the relationship conversation more than once with them and they don’t want to find it then you obviously know they’re playing you. Same thing goes for marriage. The only difference is you can’t do permanent things with that person until you are married to that person. And don’t tell them your time limit. It’s just something you have to keep in your head.
Unfortunately you have to look at what you are giving and what he is giving….. if it is not a lot he has no investment into you and your relationship…. It’s easy to leave if you have done very little to build it
This is why it's extremely important to never sleep with a guy especially if he ain't your husband. No matter how much he says he loves you or how much he begs he is just looking to take your energy. If he's serious about you then he will be with you even if you don't sleep together.
Except t hat flies in the face of the experience of so many women who give their ALL to a man, up to and including a child or two (usually at his insistence) and then he turns around and leaves. The number of women who give DECADES to one man just to have him walk away like they are nothing more than a one-night stand is legion.
@@winning3329That's a great way to end up alone and frustrated. No man with any self respect would put up with that, at least not if they weren't ace.
@@morganeoghmanann9792They can go stand alongside the legion of men who have had their wives leave with no warning after years of marriage, except the abandoned men will outnumber the abandoned women.
I am horrified. Are women the same way? I am bisexual, so I'm becoming disoriented, because I've had shit experiences with both. Not sure if I should give up dating or only be very weary of men. When my boyfriend cheated on me he did it with my female "best friend", so.....I find it difficult to trust anybody at all
Miruna sper sa nu lasi pe o femeie de pe internet sa influenteze cum vezi celalt sex . Eu sunt barbat si ma ingrozesc cum incepe sexele sa se urasca reciproc peste tot prin lume .Eu totusi cred ca chiar daca parte din ura asta e justificata din ambele parti , o parte mare sunt actori platiti de guverne externe sa dezstabilizeze tariile vestice . Sanatate
This video is full of generalisations and blanket statements. Yes there is some degree of truth to it and men like this are out there, but it’s not all of them. There’s great people out there if all genders. Just make sure to make yourself your #1 priority, and take it as a red flag if a guy has an issue with that. And don’t trust their words, trust their actions
Wait...I got lost at 3:17. Why is it a 🚩 if a guy has never had a girlfriend? Genuinely asking. That's actually a good thing since no girl got possibly hurt by him. 🤷 Isn't it? 😕 Also, if it's a 🚩 if a guy never had a girlfriend, is it a 🚩 if a girl has never had a boyfriend? Like if she's in her 30s for example and she's celibate/abstinent and doesn't date and never had a boyfriend before...is that a 🚩?
Because he knows it's not normal to not have a gf amongst his peers. A lot of men don't like women but know it's not normal to not deal with us because men will ie their peers will assume they're not straight. So no it's not ok to not have girlfriends.
@khrisi9410 But that's just an assumption though. Its not a fact. 🤷 People can assume whatever they want, it doesn't mean their assumptions have any factual backing to them. Plus, what if a girl never had a boyfriend? Is that "normal" or...? I, mean I've never been in a relationship but then again, I got abused and bullied growing up and have nothing but disgust, contempt and reproach for men (*and some women too*). Why is that a red flag 🚩?
@@marissa._ men do not ever want that assumption amongst their peers. They're straight friends opinions are taken very seriously. Patriarchy dictate men connect themselves to women in some way or be ostracized from the boys club. Your body count is all that matters, less boyfriends equal less bodies to compare him with.
thats the problem with channels like this, these issues are nuanced but they dispense advice as though its simple, always a pinch of salt with anything someone says to you
@@marissa._ You have to realize that men don't do things to impress women. They do it to impress their peers. They literally date women and have kids to appeal to other men. I know it's dumb and makes absolutely no sense whatsoever but these are men we're talking about 😂 Most of them will literally only date certain women or drive certain cars or get certain jobs or get the picket fence and house solely to meet the requirements men place on each other to be considered "men." They are toxic and there's lots of work to be done internally for them, and that's why I wouldn't recommend dating that, especially over these next four years. They're not well. Now, don't get me wrong. There are some good men out there that are healed, emotionally intelligent, and empathetic but they're few and far between.
A frustrating thing about the internet is that this woman and so many alpha male podcasters are basically saying the same thing about the opposite gender and due to the overgeneralization it creates an us vs them dynamic between men and women rather than rather than an us vs them between people who are emotionally ready for a healthy relationship and people with toxic behaviours. I get that doing videos about the good traits that some people have don't get the same attention as videos that allow you to abdicate yourself from any responsibility to analyze yourself because the other gender is rhe bad guy but I really wish more videos like this aknowledged that there is nuance.
It's (literally) an odd argument she makes, in that there's a lot of comments from people talking about years wasted with someone they later realised was incompatible, implying that they too didn't care enough about properly vetting for compatibility when entering relationships. Tldr it takes two to tango.
@dorino9057 So you can not define what compatibility means. Typing to understand something one needs to dive into it. General statement like some men do x or some women believe y, is not helpful. It does drive up clicks but I hope you are into more than just that.
@@dorino9057 "no they thought they were compatible" IDK. Some did, some didn't. In some of the comments I'm referring to, it doesn't appear that there was much thought put into it at all e.g: "I was once in a relationship where I wasn't treated well and often ignored. We couldn't bond over shared interests or have much of a connection. When I finally started asking questions, I was told that we're just not too compatible." another example: "I thought that because we did get married that he valued me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. In fact, he wanted to get married more than I did." In both these cases, clear red flags were ignored. In some cases this can be put down to naivety e.g: "I feel so dumb. Everything you talk about on your channel is what I’ve gone through with my exes. Hope I can choose better next time." To her credit, she's taking ownership of her future choices. Another user highlighted an exacerbating issue: "Good for you cause we’re just as bad when we think the man has great status and wealth. We do not CARE about comparability cause ‘we’ll fix him!" Another user provided cautionary advice: "Men know the woman they want to marry in the first 3 months of the relationship! Be careful with love-bombing, though, ladies, if a guy pops' the question before the six-months mark, he is almost for sure love-bombing you!" Another user with a broader range of experience highlighted the heterosexual blind spot: "I am horrified. Are women the same way? I am bisexual, so I'm becoming disoriented, because I've had shit experiences with both."
Why are you bringing her husband into this? Pretty clear as to which group of men she is talking about. And it is MOST MEN do this. Whenever anything is talked about when it comes to stats, we never ever talk about the exceptions. They are exceptions for a reason. It's very rare and unlikely. And when I hear men talk about women, it is NEVER about personality or interests. It's about what she can do for HIM and that is how MOST MEN are.
Her husband doesn't fit in the narrative. And if he changes and does start to fit that or any other terrible narrative, she got enough to leave and keep on pushing forward. She can talk about the things she has researched on men without her husband being one of those types. There was a point in time where i researched male serial k****rs. The man i was dating at that time was not that.
@@serenajoy9060 Do you not see the misandry in that statement? You hold resentment against the entirety of the opposite sex, that's not only unhealthy but a delusional mindset.
Wow you are judging a whole gender based on a TikTok video?! There must be some details you don't know about.. I mean if you added the word "some" you've avoided the unnecessary generalizations Who hurt you?!
No. Judging a gender based on centuries of their own actions. This has been going on waaaay before TikTok came out. Nice try though And who hurt you since you're so upset you felt it necessary to comment?
@serenajoy9060 well i asked that question first, which applies to you too since you had to reply to this comment bc you felt offended by it. However, being upset about "the actions of a whole gender" throughout history ( weren't mentioned in this video) Indicates that you don't understand biology or evolution and what led to those actions. Life isn't perfect and doesn't owe you a thing.. You better accept that..
"...men don't see women as companions, they see them as appliances" 🎯💯
But when you google these behaviors topics on 'narcissism' pop up and we end up having a lot of women complainin the ex was a narcissist and the joke that all women's exes were narcissists and the player is painted as 'avoidant'.
Typical men behavior is characterized as a personality disorder and an exception to the rule.
@@redleeks6253 Women on twatter were saying those guys who 🎻’s Gisele in France 🇫🇷 were “a special” breed of monster. I kept saying these were “average” everyday dudes.
They ignored my comment when I said this repeatedly. 😢
I said YOU know these guys, your (we) are friends with their sisters, chat with their mothers in church, live across the street from them: I said these are NOT special category of 👺.
@@redleeks6253They are all narcissistic. Narcs are not an exception in men, they are the rule. They just be trained out of it
When i dated my first girlfriend i acted like a typical man. I was depressed and scared and i have made her a scapegoat, i thought that she's not that smart, too emotional, too much asking, too annoying(and still deep inside i knew i need her badly). I realized through therapy and inner work that my arrogance is the problem, not her, so i opened up to her and that was scary but amazing.
I see how easy it for a young man to slip into this narrative of subconsciously feeling above women, it's not their fault but 💯 their responsibility.
I improved myself for her, so i definitely know this narcissistic behaviour can be UNLERNED!! No excuses for this.
What happened to the days when appliances did the job you bought them for. Women are so insidious in their acrimony and greed it’s ridiculous. If a guy is so vapid he trades in the old model for the new plastic Barbie, then the women who contour, get Botox and plastic surgery aren’t worth the risk. Women don’t have to ALWAYS the guy from highschool they were attracted to who decided to move on. Ladies are Lily Phillips and Tik Tok? Were still glowing up shiny, bright and beautiful? The butterfly is the moth still. Stay single ladies. The irony of 90% of men who prefer natural. Learn to be a lone wolf and forget about maternal instincts. Save those for your feral boss babe summers when you howl in your divine feminine witch energy. Christian witches, born again pick me’s lying about body counts. It’s a fine mess the gatekeepers of procreation have set the standard in since the 1840’s. Fly ointment and Mary Wollstonecraft and her daughter writing Frankenstein to suffragettes on the horse track to Phyllis Schlafley and Gloria Steinem. Times are tough. I suggest trying to balance the testosterone and estrogen with the endorphins women expect. Life doesn’t care about anyone’s fulfillment. Choose wisely ladies! Chef’s kiss. Muah
I've noticed this! A lot of men have wanted to date me when we literally have nothing in common and no chemistry. And I always wondered why?
They think you’re hot
They just want to use you while you're convenient for them. After this, byebye w/ no remorse
I've been working at universities for the past 8 years and the number of 40-something-year-old Dr.s marrying 22-23-year-old secretaries that come from completely different socioeconomic/cultural/educational background is astonishing. Some of them just drop their wives too
And the male professors actively keep women from becoming full professors. This has gone on since at least the 80s when my mother was always overlooked despite having her doctorate degree and having debuted in Vienna as a concert pianist. The males were so jealous of her that they only ever made her an assistant professor, shifted their students off onto her, and she had to pull miracles out of her arse to get their students ready for their boards. Same thing is happening to my friend who’s a psychiatrist. She’s also kept in assistant professor status and never full professorship.
@@toscadonna yep not only the structure and culture are pretty archaic, but also the men in academia are especially catty idk how to say it. They go above and beyond to attack you and belittle you during presentations, defenses etc too. And if you give an emotional reaction, they're like see women can't take criticism. I can perfectly visualize what you described above. It is so frustrating
Being single is so peaceful. This is sickening to hear but so necessary
In order to care about compatibility, they would first have to understand that we are human beings, which they don't.
These males in the comments not understanding the difference between the exception and the rule…
And they’re not even the exception.🙄
They seem to have that weird ish in common. They can't read stats properly, make up stats to fit their narratives, and can't comprehend. Like wtf. They love using the exception ONLY when they're trying to make themselves look good and wind up looking worse 😅
@@AVibeCalledYes Men dont care about compatibility indeed. Men learn to lie because women do it inherently (without realizing it) and throw a tantrum when something goes against what is not conscious (emotional manipulation.. they feel bad so everyone needs to feel bad, too). The will to obtain "whatever" is conscious, but the reasoning doesn't exist. Hence the emotional response to justify the gap or canyon of logic missing. Sadly, and please hear this / share it: men spent time, money and effort initially so they want a return on investment: seggs/pump and dump. If you don't go 50/50 early, You're going to get played because Men Are Smarter (the men you want / that have options). Why do you think I know this? Please share that notion with other women and you'll stop getting effed by actually learning what reciprocity means and why it's Fundamentally Necessary to protect yourself and respect the men you date (regardless of whom they are.. 3-8/10. Dont date 9s and 10s because you'll be expected to have seggs early and you will get dumped. Again, I ask you, Why do you think I know this?). Don't be a smartass and pretend I didn't tell you everything you needed to know to hit the ground running. Stop competing with appearances: we do Not settle for looks. Men AND women want the best they can get... it's mostly about psychology = are you kind, are you capable of having a conversation (opinions of your own not just pulled from some nonsensical sect/magazines), humble (speak the truth and know where that comes from rather than "just following your impressions/vibes"). I could go on, but I'm sure Most women will remain stuck in "high value"-ignorance land. "high value" has nothing to do with the physical world. Sure, hygiene is important. Make-up? Not Even One product is required. Not even One. You're not comfy with yourself = THAT is insecurity. Remove the make-up. You do this because of your skewed perception of yourself (actually ugly inside) or because you want to impress other women. Want to impress a man? Learn manners. Be polite, Be kind, Determine what the GUY wants and listen. Talk when it makes sense not just to fill the silence. You know what Actually good men love? Silence from time to time. Good women Also like silence. Let's share that. Let's share everything. Be vulnerable and tell the guy you're not particularly attractive inside and that you need to wear makeup to feel better, but decided to try something new = that type of honesty will get you a good person.
I could do this all day. I'd love to help people realize this isn't complicated if they Learn To Care. Being a woman doesn't mean you've learned this. It just means you have lady parts and that crap means nothing. Men will get a return on investment so you're better to have a walk / coffee and Want to learn. Heck, I'd go as far as to say: Learn to learn. People are so utterly ignorant as to what filters Should be applied to information that they just give up entirely and just go with impressions and vibes). Vibes get you effed. You've messed up more than once that's why you're still reading.. learn clear notions from people that Do care. I might care more about you Lost souls than people around you ever did.
I sincerely wish you the best. Ah and one last thing: Love happens After the boring phase. Some of you never got to that part... Drop your guard and learn to care for someone that Will reciprocate Your efforts and Learn to do the same! Listen to him xD... poor thing deserves you to Copy this message and keep it preciously. My words will get you married. Yet, you will be the one doing the work. Merit what you have. Relationships are fragile so dont test them.
Alright that was a lot of freebies. Now time for you to stop pretending you can't overcome your fear (remove that lie/makeup!). Men felt so invalidated by your behaviors that they elected the worst of the worst. Yes, this is the main culprit. (pushed onto you by apps, but lets not go there).
@Dawnarow guess you've never seen how violent men get when they don't get their way have you?
This is why anyone who *insists* that they've hit the jackpot when it comes to being with "a good partner/relationships". People like this are often dishonest about the true nature of their relationship.
However, even if people genuinely experience a "healthy/happy relationship" in their eyes, they can never be sure when that fairytale love story will change or end.
I feel sorry for them.
@shans1986 I only feel sorry for the ones who where genuinely blindsighted and have humbly learnt their lessons.
True. I'm in a happy relationship, but I know things can change really fast, which is why I always center myself, I am childfree, will have a Living-apart-together marriage, and will never be financially dependent on my future husband! Always prioritize yourselves, ladies!
@@karina-annen So happy for you for this. Honestly from everything I've witnessed and learned in life, the 'Living Apart but Together' whilst centering yourself actually sounds like the "healthiest" relationship dynamic between people and ita good that it is working for you. Also yes, glad you can enjoy your relationship, but are realistic and aware that a seemingly happy relationship can change at any time.
@@Sasha-zl1xr thank you! I could never live with my fiancé, I am a messy person lol and I don't like the expectation of having to clean after anyone but myself.
Most men don’t see you as a companion but rather as an appliance. Spot on. Keep this knowledge always in the back of your mind.
Yep.
Agree with all of this.
So we need to focus on ourselevs, instead of wasting years, decades, on them.
Ohhhhh....I thought that because we did get married that he valued me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. In fact, he wanted to get married more than I did. After 3 years of marriage and 7 years total of being together, one day, he was just done. I was the starter wife. This makes so much sense. I wish I had known this 20 years ago
Wives can also be placeholders and remember some men never reach the social status required to get a better woman so they'll just stick with what they have.
'Men don't love women like you' book explains this 'placeholder' concept very well😊
Yeah after I vetted this man I told him we are not compatible nor are we equally yoked and he just kept texting me asking for dates . Blocked.
That’s why it’s a good idea to not tell men what you want in a man! Date, and leave if they end up not being the man you want. If you tell them what you want in a man, they’ll just pretend.
@@Sahalielove no. Do not tell them. Men are actors and will ask you, so they can “prepare for the acting role.
DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM UNTIL MARRIAGE.
@@kittykatz4001yes they’re shapeshifters
And stop giving men your Instagram account info, he's just trying to see what you like so he can pretend to be what you like, need and want. He can mimic your personality to make it seem ya'll have something in common. Be careful about sharing too much of yourselves on social media.
@@winning3329They may still switch up on you and become abusive, making the woman trapped and harder to leave the marriage.
I don't know if you went through a bunch with dudes to gain this wisdom or are just very observant, but every video you drop is a dam sermon. Preach!!
What I got from this is be the main character in your own life and be as selfish as possible because truthfully no one e owes you anything and you owe yourself everything.
They don't & that's why I don't pick them based on love. I'm looking for who would be the best possible candidate to share children with, including financial stability, emotional intelligence, the kind of humor I would want my future kids to enjoy, etc. I'm also looking for someone who is eye candy TO ME, just as they do. Don't fall for the ones that say you should love them for who they are without conditions. Relationships are a barter/deal. Conditions are necessary. Get something out of it or men will drain you. I don't believe in love without conditions unless you are an innocent child.
Good for you cause we’re just as bad when we think the man has great status and wealth. We do not CARE about comparability cause ‘we’ll fix him!’ Smdh
That's how I picked my fiancé, he's hot, financially stable, treats me very well, and always pays 100% on our dates! The only thing I'm doing differently is that since I'm childfree, I chose a man who has had a vasectomy. I also had a bilateral salpingectomy (because I don't want to risk pregnancy because of 🍇), also, we're never moving in together, we'll have a living-together-apart relationship (I also insist on being financially independent), and we currently live across the street from each other and will continue to do so after the wedding! Also, my older sister is a divorce attorney and has drawn an ironclad prenup! We also moved to Europe recently, because there's no way I'll ever live in Project 2025 America. I may not even come back to visit for years.
Not one lie told. Ya'll better listen especially young women who are inundated with attention from older men especially the broke ones.
This is soooo good. There are so many women I want to share this with but they are not ready for it
Unfortunately not every woman can be saved and you have to let them learn the hard way.
@@winning3329True. But sharing this with younger siblings, nieces, and cousins… in fact having a genuine transparent talk about the reality of the world is better
You represent an appliance in his mind. That’s what’s up.
The 'placeholder' concept
this knowledge everything. what we value is not necessarily what they value. "the purpose was to dump you" after you doing the things they want you to be doing for HIS life.
He just wanted a warm body until he can find his dream girl.
@@winning3329Eventually he'll treat the "dream girl" like crap too. It didn't change the inner core of who he is as a person.
They are users! They will use you up and then throw you out and move on to the next
It’s romantic UTILITY for the male-not compatibility.
I have lived it and it changed me forever. I cannot dim myself enough to be an appliance when I am a fully functioning human being. The pain was intense but the insight was truly rewarding. I’m so glad that I discovered this truth before marriage and a divorce.
👏 same
2:17 Exactly. This is what I say. Men keep you around because it’s convenient for them. If you’re hot enough they’ll stick around. But if you’re not his real type he will leave when she comes along. If he truly likes blondes and you’re a brunette and he finds you hot he will date you until the blonde he truly wants.
Thats exactly how it works. Never be botthered by a man. We should always put ourselves first.
You go girl…. You rock and keep on rocking. Girl power in effect
I was someone starter wife for 8 years. Only Jesus could save me after I realized that.
I was once in a relationship where I wasn't treated well and often ignored. We couldn't bond over shared interests or have much of a connection. When I finally started asking questions, I was told that we're just not too compatible. Sure, fine. Fast forward some years, I've moved on and grew as a person, and now they're showing interest in who I am. Now I'm the one disinterested and citing incompatibility, but don't you know, suddenly "compatibility is just a small part of something as complex as a relationship..." 😂
funny how karma repays them back eh. Good for you sista!
Straight up. And regardless of gender. Just because it's more prevalent with certain groups doesn't mean the behavior isn't reprehensible regardless.
Yeah they’re not dumb
Yeah, smart parasitic life forms. Just after status and money. They are pathetic and truly empty inside.
@@olgakim4848Indeed Normative Male Alexithymia (NMA) is real.
I never thought they were dumb. Having women think they’re dumb is part of their strategy. I feel pity for the women who think otherwise.
Survival mode does that.
@@likemycommentifyouwantareply They're "helpless bebe, who was never taught survival skills 🥺" and "let him win or he will be sad", but also world and societal leaders and CEOs, "deemed superior by god"? Give me a break. We cut them too much slack, they should start proving their competence in action or sit down.
I have a friend who said he wanted to date me. I told him I don't feel that way about him, and he talked about how great we get along and how much he likes me. But we're only compatible as friends. The reason we get a long so well is because we take frequent breaks from each other, we both start getting annoyed after spending too much time. Also he's had very few relationships, and he's flat out said he just wants more experience. I feel like he only thinks he likes me because I'm a woman he's familiar with. Fuck no I'm not dating him
Damn all these men in the comments, they've sniffed this channel out damn, y'all can leave.
Is this the new playbook of the men?
1. doing the bare minimum
2. lying and want a relationship fast for to get the 🐱
3. break up cuz you are not compatibel
Not new at all. Been going on for centuries
That’s some sick shi
They are sick
@@shans1986 exactly. they are literal mutations of us. why do the collective of women expect them to be normal?
@@hardcandy71287 Because we project ourselves in them and expect they will think and act normally like us, since they are born from us and have half chromosomes and their entire mitochondrial DNA in our image.
Join 4b.
Some of the best dating of bicep ever received is putting time limits on romantic partnerships. If you know you wanna be in a relationship with this man, but you guys have been talking for about six months cut them off. Yes this will hurt you and the other person but if you’ve had the relationship conversation more than once with them and they don’t want to find it then you obviously know they’re playing you. Same thing goes for marriage. The only difference is you can’t do permanent things with that person until you are married to that person. And don’t tell them your time limit. It’s just something you have to keep in your head.
Excellent wording, thanks!
Compatibility aka the ability to tolerate is everything.. for me..
I feel so dumb. Everything you talk about on your channel is what I’ve gone through with my exes. Hope I can choose better next time.
Choosing better means choosing ourselves
Opt out. Get off the merry-go-round.
@@karlareadstheclassics217 de-centering men is my New Year’s resolution 😌
Oh god, why you gotta choose between you and another person?
This comment section has been littered with 😂
Unfortunately you have to look at what you are giving and what he is giving….. if it is not a lot he has no investment into you and your relationship…. It’s easy to leave if you have done very little to build it
This is why it's extremely important to never sleep with a guy especially if he ain't your husband. No matter how much he says he loves you or how much he begs he is just looking to take your energy.
If he's serious about you then he will be with you even if you don't sleep together.
Except t hat flies in the face of the experience of so many women who give their ALL to a man, up to and including a child or two (usually at his insistence) and then he turns around and leaves. The number of women who give DECADES to one man just to have him walk away like they are nothing more than a one-night stand is legion.
@@winning3329That's a great way to end up alone and frustrated. No man with any self respect would put up with that, at least not if they weren't ace.
@@morganeoghmanann9792They can go stand alongside the legion of men who have had their wives leave with no warning after years of marriage, except the abandoned men will outnumber the abandoned women.
@ErikratKhandnalie there was a warning. It just didn't seem important to them so they didn't heed it.
Lisa, you are so beautiful ❤️
I love u too gurl ❤ its very cold out here
Please do an episode on Netflix ultimatum s3 e6....Scotty (crazy scary abuser)
I am horrified. Are women the same way? I am bisexual, so I'm becoming disoriented, because I've had shit experiences with both. Not sure if I should give up dating or only be very weary of men. When my boyfriend cheated on me he did it with my female "best friend", so.....I find it difficult to trust anybody at all
Miruna sper sa nu lasi pe o femeie de pe internet sa influenteze cum vezi celalt sex . Eu sunt barbat si ma ingrozesc cum incepe sexele sa se urasca reciproc peste tot prin lume .Eu totusi cred ca chiar daca parte din ura asta e justificata din ambele parti , o parte mare sunt actori platiti de guverne externe sa dezstabilizeze tariile vestice . Sanatate
i see her videos as not about men, but about knowing how to recognize bad behavior from both sexes.
This video is full of generalisations and blanket statements. Yes there is some degree of truth to it and men like this are out there, but it’s not all of them. There’s great people out there if all genders. Just make sure to make yourself your #1 priority, and take it as a red flag if a guy has an issue with that. And don’t trust their words, trust their actions
@@tabby5555men being users by nature is not a lie though. They cannot love, just admire which can be temporary.
@@SensationalSeafairyI know! And it's really tragic that the exact same thing is true of women. ;)
😂😂😂 guess I'm not a mam anymore.
If this doesn't apply to you, that's better. Enjoy that status
💯💯💯
❤
❤❤❤❤
🧡🧡🧡
Wait...I got lost at 3:17.
Why is it a 🚩 if a guy has never had a girlfriend? Genuinely asking.
That's actually a good thing since no girl got possibly hurt by him. 🤷
Isn't it? 😕
Also, if it's a 🚩 if a guy never had a girlfriend, is it a 🚩 if a girl has never had a boyfriend? Like if she's in her 30s for example and she's celibate/abstinent and doesn't date and never had a boyfriend before...is that a 🚩?
Because he knows it's not normal to not have a gf amongst his peers. A lot of men don't like women but know it's not normal to not deal with us because men will ie their peers will assume they're not straight. So no it's not ok to not have girlfriends.
@khrisi9410
But that's just an assumption though. Its not a fact. 🤷
People can assume whatever they want, it doesn't mean their assumptions have any factual backing to them.
Plus, what if a girl never had a boyfriend? Is that "normal" or...? I, mean I've never been in a relationship but then again, I got abused and bullied growing up and have nothing but disgust, contempt and reproach for men (*and some women too*). Why is that a red flag 🚩?
@@marissa._ men do not ever want that assumption amongst their peers. They're straight friends opinions are taken very seriously. Patriarchy dictate men connect themselves to women in some way or be ostracized from the boys club. Your body count is all that matters, less boyfriends equal less bodies to compare him with.
thats the problem with channels like this, these issues are nuanced but they dispense advice as though its simple, always a pinch of salt with anything someone says to you
@@marissa._ You have to realize that men don't do things to impress women. They do it to impress their peers. They literally date women and have kids to appeal to other men. I know it's dumb and makes absolutely no sense whatsoever but these are men we're talking about 😂 Most of them will literally only date certain women or drive certain cars or get certain jobs or get the picket fence and house solely to meet the requirements men place on each other to be considered "men." They are toxic and there's lots of work to be done internally for them, and that's why I wouldn't recommend dating that, especially over these next four years. They're not well. Now, don't get me wrong. There are some good men out there that are healed, emotionally intelligent, and empathetic but they're few and far between.
A frustrating thing about the internet is that this woman and so many alpha male podcasters are basically saying the same thing about the opposite gender and due to the overgeneralization it creates an us vs them dynamic between men and women rather than rather than an us vs them between people who are emotionally ready for a healthy relationship and people with toxic behaviours.
I get that doing videos about the good traits that some people have don't get the same attention as videos that allow you to abdicate yourself from any responsibility to analyze yourself because the other gender is rhe bad guy but I really wish more videos like this aknowledged that there is nuance.
Solid mental here
Been happily married over 30 years, before i lost her to Alzheimer's. What your definition of compatibility?
It's (literally) an odd argument she makes, in that there's a lot of comments from people talking about years wasted with someone they later realised was incompatible, implying that they too didn't care enough about properly vetting for compatibility when entering relationships. Tldr it takes two to tango.
@@nessy9022 no they thought they were compatible, but they were not, maybe the person pretended to be who they’re not or blindsided them.
We’re not talking about all men. But these type of men like the video don’t care about compatibility.
@dorino9057 So you can not define what compatibility means. Typing to understand something one needs to dive into it. General statement like some men do x or some women believe y, is not helpful. It does drive up clicks but I hope you are into more than just that.
@@dorino9057 "no they thought they were compatible"
IDK. Some did, some didn't. In some of the comments I'm referring to, it doesn't appear that there was much thought put into it at all e.g:
"I was once in a relationship where I wasn't treated well and often ignored. We couldn't bond over shared interests or have much of a connection. When I finally started asking questions, I was told that we're just not too compatible."
another example:
"I thought that because we did get married that he valued me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. In fact, he wanted to get married more than I did."
In both these cases, clear red flags were ignored. In some cases this can be put down to naivety e.g:
"I feel so dumb. Everything you talk about on your channel is what I’ve gone through with my exes. Hope I can choose better next time."
To her credit, she's taking ownership of her future choices. Another user highlighted an exacerbating issue:
"Good for you cause we’re just as bad when we think the man has great status and wealth. We do not CARE about comparability cause ‘we’ll fix him!"
Another user provided cautionary advice:
"Men know the woman they want to marry in the first 3 months of the relationship! Be careful with love-bombing, though, ladies, if a guy pops' the question before the six-months mark, he is almost for sure love-bombing you!"
Another user with a broader range of experience highlighted the heterosexual blind spot:
"I am horrified. Are women the same way? I am bisexual, so I'm becoming disoriented, because I've had shit experiences with both."
Wjat I don't understand is how your husband fits into this whole narrative
Why are you bringing her husband into this? Pretty clear as to which group of men she is talking about. And it is MOST MEN do this. Whenever anything is talked about when it comes to stats, we never ever talk about the exceptions. They are exceptions for a reason. It's very rare and unlikely. And when I hear men talk about women, it is NEVER about personality or interests. It's about what she can do for HIM and that is how MOST MEN are.
If and when her husband acts up, we’ll know she’s right about men.
Her husband doesn't fit in the narrative. And if he changes and does start to fit that or any other terrible narrative, she got enough to leave and keep on pushing forward. She can talk about the things she has researched on men without her husband being one of those types. There was a point in time where i researched male serial k****rs. The man i was dating at that time was not that.
It's a two way street...
Girl, who hurt you?
MEN. In a word MEN. And yes it is ALL
@@serenajoy9060 Do you not see the misandry in that statement? You hold resentment against the entirety of the opposite sex, that's not only unhealthy but a delusional mindset.
@@terrancewright3358nope. I speak my experience. Just my truth. Sorry if you feel the truth is hate. Feeling guilty about something?
@@serenajoy9060 Projection much, you deleted both of our comments. Either way I hope you find peace in In the Triune GOD Christ Jesus.
How much do you want to bet here???
🙄toxic generalizations
Wow you are judging a whole gender based on a TikTok video?! There must be some details you don't know about..
I mean if you added the word "some" you've avoided the unnecessary generalizations
Who hurt you?!
please stop embarrassing yourself and your gender even more
No. Judging a gender based on centuries of their own actions. This has been going on waaaay before TikTok came out. Nice try though
And who hurt you since you're so upset you felt it necessary to comment?
@@Morozova48 embarrassing?! Lol
it seems u've got some unresolved mentall problems.
stop being hateful and mean that might help you..
@@Morozova48he really is an embarrassment to other men
@serenajoy9060 well i asked that question first, which applies to you too since you had to reply to this comment bc you felt offended by it.
However, being upset about "the actions of a whole gender" throughout history ( weren't mentioned in this video)
Indicates that you don't understand biology or evolution and what led to those actions. Life isn't perfect and doesn't owe you a thing.. You better accept that..