I remember a long time ago a stranger approached my house, hidden from sight I started to bark with a hint of menace. The stranger retreated. I felt like I deserved a treat🐶
Don't wear headphones in public. That makes you a got target because it elimantes one of your most valuable senses; your ability to hear someone sneak up from behind.
@@MegaXECUTION it simple realy. Dont be weak and you wont apear weak. You cant fake confidence. You know when a dog knows when you have some doubt? Humans got those instincts to. The feeling you get with ppl. Trust it.
Went trail hiking with a husky that I pet sat for when I a man was approaching in the opposite direction. He was dressed very inappropriately for a trail and looked suspicious. I decided to walk confidently past him when the husky, gave a long menacing growl at him as we walked past. The man jumped away a little bit. Dogs can sense when someone isn't right. I always felt safe when walking her after that.
Dogs have an insane sense of safety in humans...I was dog sitting once and took the dog down by the beach at night and as we were walking the dog kept stopping and whining and i just kept saying " C'mon"...Turns out there was a homeless guy laying on the bench in front of us and I couldnt see him because it was dark.
@@gelvinlane6097 Unfortunately they are a living weapon at a certain size and race and I see way too many blokes and frustrated drunkyard women having them without bite protection. The leash wouldn't help anyway if a pitbull or other fleshy dogs would start to charge at something.
Agreed. I escaped two different attempted kidnappings when I was traveling alone in europe in my early twenties. One time I escaped by blending into a crowd and moving with their exact pace/slightly faster. Luckily it started raining and my hood went up alongside everyone’s umbrellas and they lost track of me. The second time, the guy chased me beyond the crowd i tried to blend into and he only stopped following when we were separated by a crosswalk and I decided to stand tall, look at him in the face, and shake my head “no”. He immediately turned and walked away. Confidence and inner power definitely makes a difference.
@@alittleclosertoheaven8549 the first time was in Rome and the second time was in Amsterdam. Both times the men themselves were Italian though, even in Holland.
@@Livingangelerin Really weird to see that such people exist in countries that we regard to be really safe. I guess that the pursuers figured out that you are not from these places and were onto you in order to sell you into some kind of horror.
As a woman who traveled alone for work outside the US a ton, you do get this sense...it isn't exactly being "aggressive" because that can inspire trouble and go in a different direction. But it is, as you said, the direct gaze. The "I see you. Chances are I know what you are thinking...so don't bother - its not going to work out well for you. I am going to make it my personal mission to make this waaaay more trouble than it is worth for you."
In many places the direct gaze from a girl means to guys "I am interested in you, come talk to me" and if the girl is in guy's type he will come and chat with you.
The thing with small dogs is that usually they are more afraid of everything because of their size than bigger dogs, so usually they are more aggressive to over compensate that, so i think they can also be quite a deterrent to people trying to get into your home
exactly, some small dogs are real menace, will bite your hand off or go after your leg and some big dogs can be useless against an attacker, our family’s lab was sometimes friendly towards strangers and sometimes she was more afraid than us, so we were joking that if there was an attacker we would be the ones that would be protecting our dog and not the other way around 😂
@@FruityHachi A big dog having little dog attitude is legitimately too dangerous. I’ve had big dogs try to run at me from across the street just running by. Not something you should strive for unless you want a dead dog and a fat lawsuit on your hands.
@@FruityHachi if you're going to get a big dog get a real big dog made for protecting, this isn't just necessarily about the size but genetics, labs are some of the most genetically weak dogs when it comes to protection.
That’s why small dogs are good watch dogs, watch dogs alert you to danger.. large dogs can be guard dogs depending on breed but most are not great watch dogs .. molossers are my favourite protection breed group as they don’t usually need training .. they are natural protectors and will make little sound till they are upon the trespasser, if trained to attack they often go to far and kill from shear brute power and commitment to abait the threat .. however they are (when raised right) incredibly gentle and tolerant of children within their family.
I used to walk a 1/2 mile to a bus stop at 4:45am, to catch a bus to work. Never saw anyone else out at that time. Then one morning my gut said walk down the other side of the 4 lane street that led to the bus stop. The feeling in my gut was too strong to ignore. As I was walking I saw a man walking up the sidewalk on the side of the street I usually walked on. There was an approx. 3 ft tall median plus 4 lanes between us. He seemed to see me when I saw him. He gave me the strangest feeling. I hurried to my bus stop which was on a busier and well lit street. Listen to your gut. Not long after, I obtained a car.
@@angr3819 Yes, it was His prompting I followed. There is a bit more to the story and perhaps I should have included it and not been concerned about story length. Be well and God bless. Psalm 119:105
There’s a thing we say in New York City about how to walk to avoid getting mugged. Walk like you’re walking with a purpose, like you have somewhere to be in 5 minutes. If you look like you’re walking around daydreaming, not paying attention, on your phone, you’re a target.
He did mention one time “if I feel my enemy is going attack me, I’m going to attack him first.” So really he’s just going to pull a reverse uno card at 0430
On breaking eye contact: I was taught, 1. Breaking up make you look arrogant. 2. Breaking down makes you look weak. 3. Breaking lateral makes you look confident. If there is another interpretation of this, I would like to hear it.
Yes there's another interpretation if they break eye contact abruptly while smiling and blushing when you catch them Congrats. Someone's got a crush on you 😉
Had a professor who grew up in Moscow during the 90s, a period of complete social collapse and criminality. He told us that just walking to the store alone dramatically increased your odds of getting jumped. Said when you were out there was 1 rule: always walk straight and briskly with your head down but eyes forward. Look around but don't make eye contact. If you look too confident other gopniks (russian thugs basically) would think you were challenging them. If you looked too meek you were prey. Always stay in your lane and for the love of god if you do make eye contact you better staredown that fucker like Hannibal, or you're toast.
That’s exactly how you walk through gang territory. It’s a bit different from the way you walk through a major city because you must show awareness while avoiding direct eye contact.
The last time someone tried to rob me it inflated my ego so much. I was walking through a small street facing carpark to go into a shop, and noticed 2 young guys on bikes staring at me and my brother. We're both very skinny Indians so they thought we're easy targets. We finished shopping, and as we were walking out I saw them through the shop's window, still staring at us. I knew what they were up to, so I told my bro to ignore them. They rode up to us and the younger guy kept trying to get our attention, but we kept on ignoring them. Eventually the older one tells the young one to grab me, so younger guy rolls up and is about to pull my shoulder. I had my boney fist clenched, jaw tightened, rage about to lash out. He saw my face and looked scared for his life. He turned to the older guy and said "what do I do?" and they both just rode away. I won without raising my hand or saying a word, and that made me feel untouchable.
Two guys rode up to a couple skinny Indian kids with the confidence to say loud "grab him" and one look was enough to make them run? and while saying "what do I do?" *I call bullshit*
@@picklejho69 Hi there. I was one of the bikers. After I said "What do I do???" we made a run for it. That is one Indian kid you don't want to have as an enemy. His skinny body looked like it was about to destroy everyone around him. I'm glad I got out of that situation alive!!!!
@@picklejho69 It was almost like an initiation. The older guy was watching the younger guy. The young guy wasn't confident at all. They waited for me to go spend my money in the shop before they worked up enough courage to try and rob me. He obviously wasn't a seasoned roadman and hadn't robbed anyone before, so seeing the face of someone that might fight back scared him off.
I used to think my self awareness was a sign of my anxiety, but ive been learning the way im always looking around, seeing whats going on, never sit with your back to the door, are all the right thing to do
@@haveaday1812 Well said Sir. Most people unfortunately are not paying attention to what's going on around them. I see it everyday ESPECIALLY among the Millennial crowds...smh.
When I first got into martial arts my teacher was a marine. At 12 years old he handed me a book "Grey Man". That lifestyle ontop of mma is the perfect way to live.
I'm learning that it's only good if you can turn it off when you want to. I deal with the same thing, and while it's useful, it's also a pronounced symptom of PTSD. Which I might add can come from ANY trauma. You don't have to be in a war to suffer from it. If you find that you can't turn off your hypervigilance, then that's a potential sign that you might have deeper issues. If that's the case, then you may benefit from talking to a therapist. I've been doing this. It helps. I'm still super aware of everything, but I'm getting better at being able to relax too.
I got my MBA from a top end school. Not once in four years (I did a part time program for people who were working) was anti-social, predatory behaviour discussed. Not even once. What also wasn't discussed was how dangerous "normal" people can be and are with their mental health issues and addictions. Then there's garden-variety lying, dishonesty, fraud and theft. This is all really relevant stuff in the workplace and especially if you are a business owner. We have a widely shared narrative that tells us business owners are the villains. You'd be amazed who the real villains are. Most often it's the employees.
I learned by instinct - plus dad, music & dance instructors always emphasizing good posture & sitting / standing up straight - in making brief, respectful eye contact acknowledging individuals I'd see while walking alone in the downtown area I worked & lived. Never felt safer than when my German Shepherd was with me. Trust my instincts. The only person who invaded my space was an older/old man in a grocery store checkout line who tried to full-body lean into me (assuming I'd be too shocked & polite to do anything) but I immediately yelled & stepped away, shouting "Don't touch me - get away from me." He was a total creeper who fled the store fast! I'd had a weird vibe about him and shamed him by loudly alerting everyone what he was doing instead of letting it happen (& I'm a quiet person).
I'm glad you posted this comment. I learned something from it. I once had a frail looking old man who leaned up against me in public and I was so perplexed wondering does he realize he's this close. Is this intentional or is he old and confused? So I ofcourse stepped away and his body immediately followed mine trying to get close again that's when I put a considerable more amount of space between us. That creeper knew what he was doing. If something like that ever happens again I'm not going to give him the benefit of the doubt just because he's old and frail. Because that's what's he's counting on. I'm going to look and point straight at him and say DON'T do that loud enough for everyone to hear and embarrass the shit out of him.
Once I walked back home late at night. At certain moment I became aware of a guy walking behind me, wearing a hoodie. He was getting closer and I just sensed he had bad intentions towards me. I could feel it. I could tell he probably would try to surprise me from behind. I stopped for a moment, looked behind me and stared at him directly. I just let him know I'm fully aware of him and won't go without a fight. Then I crossed the road so he couldn't walk behind me. He didn't try anything and just walked in different direction after. I still think if I didn't acknowledge him he'd probably assault me.
@@joan8656 I am a woman. But maybe I do have an advantage of being quite tall and athletic looking. But in any case, it's important to not look scared.
I am a petite 5'2" female. I have followed the gray man philosophy for years. So far it has been working for me. My Daddy, a US Army veteran ,told us always wear something on your feet you can run in. In case you have to !
My dad used to work in Baltimore which would lead to some unsavory dimlit walks amongst the local creatures of the night. He said when passing droves of people he'd make himself look insane, play up cooky. Crazy is scarier than Strong/badass. I could pass Jocko on the side walk, feel infinitely safer than passing a guy who weighs like 90 pds with gangly limbs who just looks like a rapid animal. A rabid raccoon is scarier than a full grown man.
@@pdorism I get you. Whenever I walk past these junkie drug addicts I simply avoid any interaction with them. Their behavior and appearance are unpredictable and sometimes simply scary
All of this and my mom’s method too: act insane if all else fails. Become unhinged if need be and don’t do it unnecessarily. She saved my life teaching me how to be aware and I can become quite bizarre when I do see a threat. Watch out for the psychopath waiting to meet another one, the difference is I don’t attack people but I’d love to 😂😁
exactly. first it's bad juju to mess with the mentally ill, second, psychos are unpredictable and have no conscience, the attacker is likely to end up dead and they know it. never mess with us crazy people.
This reminds me of the method a friend has to get rid of annoying guys who won't take a no. She just makes creepy comments in a very casual way, like " have you ever wanted to push someone of an escalator and watch them fall? Like, i wouldn't actually do it, but i def get the impulse to sometimes, but that's normal, right?" . They think she is insane and leave her alone XD
As one of the “petite older women” who worries about this kind of thing, this is very helpful to hear. I take the fastest, biggest strides I reasonably can (with my stumpy legs), I pay attention to what’s going on around me, and I square my shoulders off and keep my head up.
I'm not older yet (getting there) but I'm very much petite. I naturally take big steps for a small petite woman and also am always aware of my surroundings. This makes feel better.
People can sense fear in others. Walking too fast with big strides visually signals you're afraid unless exercising. Suggest learning how to read body language. It helps to evaluate intent from a longer distance. It will help calm down your mind. I've naturally done what this guy suggests. Never realized my behavior was protective. Strangers constantly strike up friendly conversations when seeing me look around or at them. He's correct, most people today are hunched over staring down at their phones. They're sitting ducks to anyone looking for a victim.
Every time I tell the story of when I almost got kidnapped, the reaction is always something stupid like 'maybe they chased you to tell you they weren't chasing you' or 'maybe you dropped something'... it was so scary, I wish people would actually believe this stuff happens even in safer areas :(
It is likely a reaction people have because they'd rather believe you are wrong and the world they live in is as safe as they presumed. I thought my parents were clingy until they saved me and my friend from a kidnapping on vacation. Don't go to Ocean City, Maryland.
It's so true, especially about looking at people. I've been in situations as a small woman and if I sense someone is looking weird at me I'd just make eye contact and then they back away.
Sometimes, just that is enough. As a small female myself, I have found that carriage and demeanor can do a lot to nip those situations where you know you would get your butt handed to you. Head on a swivel and keep moving.
The power of body language. I was abroad, staying at an area that had a lot of street dogs living outside. One day I was walking, coming back from the grocery store, and I got ambushed by a large group of dogs. They stood in a row in front of me, barking menacingly. Here’s the thing though, I love dogs and it takes a LOT for me to ever be scared of them. Even when they get aggressive. It doesn’t scare me, I stay calm. So these dogs were trying to intimidate me. I wasn’t impressed. No sign of panic, shoulders back, head up high, I looked at them sternly, and instead of backing away I confidently took one step forward claiming my space. The alpha dog’s energy and body language shifted immediately, as if he was saying “Oh, my bad. I’ll leave you alone then.”. The other dogs followed his lead. They all got quiet and moved aside to let me pass.
There are two kinds of dogs to have, the dog that will alert you to trouble by barking and growling and the dog that won’t make a sound while they sneak up and attack the intruder. Both are great to have.
Agreed, I’ve had both myself. I had a Ridgeback ninja that snuck up on a couple of people and put the fear into their existence. Also had those that had the bark that warned of things to come. Nothing like a good dog.
@@spazemfathemcazemmeleggymi272 Can't you see I'm easily bothered by persistence? One step from lashing out at you You want in, to get under my skin and call yourself a friend I've got more friends like you, what do I do? Is there no standard anymore? What it takes, who I am, where I've been, belong You can't be something you're not Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me A lesson learned in life Known from the dawn of time Respect, walk, what did you say? Respect, walk Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? Run your mouth when I'm not around, it's easy to achieve You cry to weak friends that sympathize Can you hear the violins playing your song? Those same friends tell me your every word Is there no standard anymore? What it takes, who I am, where I've been, belong You can't be something you're not Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me A lesson learned in life Known from the dawn of time Respect, walk, what did you say? Respect, walk, are you talkin' to me? Respect, walk, what did you say? Respect, walk Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? No way, punk Respect, walk, what did you say? Respect, walk, are you talkin' to me? Respect, walk, what did you say? Respect, walk Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? Walk on home, boy
It's funny, but I've noticed when I'm in someplace like a grocery store, people often glance at me, then hurry to get out of my way and sometimes apologize. I don't dress richly, but I typically wear nice dresses and I always have a hat on and I often shop like I'm on a mission (because I usually am; I want to be done as quickly as possible). I also trained myself to have good posture when I walk (just don't look at me when I'm seated, LOL) and try to appear classy. I don't think people are intimidated, like they fear I will hurt them, so much as it is some lizard brain instinctual respect for social hierarchies and, even unintentionally, I present myself to be higher on the social ladder. I worked with a girl once who was very anti-gun, anti-violence (as was her husband) and when we were talking about what to do if someone broke in, she said that if someone broke into their apartment, she'd just let them take the TV. I didn't have the heart to ask her, "And what if they're not there for the TV; what if they're there for you?" I guess she'd just get raped and/or murdered. Me, I'm going to be like the old woman my pistol instructor told us about who woke up to find a naked man beside her bed. She offered to give him a BJ if he didn't hurt her, then she grabbed him by the tackle and squeezed until the lights went out. Then she started to drag him through the house by his fishing rod until he woke up. He flailed and tried to get away as she told him she was dragging him to where she had her gun and she was going to shoot his crown jewels off and then torture him. He cried and pleaded and flailed until he ended up falling through her glass coffee table at one point. Finally she dragged him out the front door and let him go. Then she called her son, who lived next door, and the police, and they caught him still wandering around the neighborhood naked and cut up. Always have a plan to feign helplessness and trick them into letting you reach for a weapon or put themselves into a vulnerable position so you can go on the attack.
@@jenx5870 She and her husband ended up joining the Peace Corps or going on some sort of church mission to Ethiopia. Life probably taught them what words couldn't.
@@AuDazzity Yes. She squeezed so hard, the pain made him pass out. But apparently you can squeeze so hard you can make someone wake up again. Works both ways. LOL.
When I was about 12 years old I came to a house of a friend and didn't know he had a dog. I came in, door was open, saw my friend was not there. When I was going to exit, there was a German shepherd lying across the exit. No sound. But as I approached the door there was a quiet roar that made me shivers. I had no cell phone back then. So I waited on the couch for a couple of hours till my friend got back. Dogs that are trained and smart are a real deterrent for sure...
My dad had a dog like that. She’d let anybody in but wouldn’t let them out. You needed clearance to leave and if you weren’t meant to be in, well, there you were as evidence that you’d got in.
Right on the money. I was watching a documentary on a cop killer. The first cop that pulled him over he killed. During the manhunt another cop pulled him over and arrested him. They asked him why he didn’t kill the second cop. The difference was in their appearance. First cops uniform was disarrayed, second cop was squared away, even his boots were shined. He said he knew that cop would of gotten the better of him.
I learned to do a facial spasm on one side of my face, like a cat before it attacks. It makes me look psycho. I remember meeting a guy with this kind of spasm, I didn’t want to know him. 😂
I’m 42 and walk with a limp due to a serious injury. Ironically, I’ve always been very conscious of this. Not because I was taught, but because I almost sensed it. Even with a limp, I command respect and attention. It’s amazing what presence does. Eye contact, confidence, and not giving a shit is so incredibly important to perception.
I was feeding my friend’s pitbull when he was out of town and it turned on me and I escaped just in time. He was of the opinion that I hadn’t been sufficiently confident because his dog wasn’t dangerous. I said it clearly was dangerous if it attacks when insufficient confidence is shown 😂😂😂 Some people and their dogs 😂😂😂😂
Posture and eye contact sure does matter. Even with non-humans on occasion. This one time I was walking a pack of dogs down the street when I felt someone quickly approaching from behind. You know that sensation when someone really has it in for you. So I turned around, steel-faced, and the bastard stopped mid-air about an arms lenght away, flapping his wings and staring at me as if he was shocked that I didn't run. As most typically do when seagulls attack. After an awkward moment he landed on the ground next to us in defeat and I casually walked away.
It's unbelievable how many people don't know these things. My brother and I grew up in a hard neighborhood and we used to point these things out when we went to a nice part of town to shop or visit friends. Some people are truly clueless and are never exposed to violence. I refuse to wear flipflops to this day Incase I have to fight or run. This blows my wife's mind lol.
you can wear the flops when with your wife as she likely won't run or is too slow. that being said, depending on your relationship, you could also wear the shoes and just run lol
Not everyone had to grow up in a trashy neighborhood / city. And I say this as someone who grew up in a trashy neighborhood / city. So it is understandable many don't know how to minimize the chances of being robbed (or worse).
I lived with a partner who had a mastiff who rarely barked but when he did it was a low level woof and to knew it was a warning to the person who caused the woof. Visitors could come in and he was well behaved. Once while my partner was on a trip an associate of his called by claiming he needed to borrow a tool that my partner had said it ok. He stepped in the front door as and placed his hand on my shoulder and the dog jumped up putting a paw on each shoulder of the guy and he had the guy on the floor, all in a split second. Then he gave his low level woof inches from his face to warn him. I called the dog off and told him he needed to go. I believe the dog was more aware than me and saved me from some sort of attack. The guy was big and had acted in a slightly dominant way. I never saw him again. My partner also never mixed with him again either.
My friend said that she would always attract creepy strangers - nothing outright dangerous, but lewd comments, men exposing themselves. She always felt embarrassed and powerless until one day she built up the confidence to stand up to one such guy and he just left. More interestingly, no one ever bothered her in this way anymore. The point being, she always said that it's true that they can 'smell' the victim, the shy and scared one.
As a petite female who does things alone - my advice is Walk with a Purpose, walk tall, and be looking around, don’t look paranoid - but if someone was to observe you - they would notice that you scan your surrounding and are evaluating the people around you. But you do so with calmness and smoothness. You are not a lame duck, you are in control of your situation and you spot trouble long before trouble spots you. If a goon looks at you, give him a non-confrontational, “dead” look. He knows you see him and you are not intimidated, but you are not challenging him either. I do this all the time, and they don’t know what to make of me, but I show confidence, and I am more prepared than they are. The other thing is, if for some reason they decide to try you, and you decide to fight back, hit them hard and fast. Knives for the purpose of self defence are illegal. If you carry a knife, I’m sure your excuse, if needed, is that you carry it for “utility” use only.
@@jenx5870 yup. Just recently got a sig and I love it. I'm no longer worried about the crackheads in my backyard. They don't even wonder back there anymore after Poppin that off a few times
I was trained by being bullied a lot as a kid. I now walk with a look on my face like I'm looking for an excuse to beat the living shit out of someone. Seems to work.
It always surprises me how people look very little around compared to me. A colleague caught me on camera as I was crossing a road. I looked in 5 different places in 10 meters. The other 5 guys just walked across, eyes straight ahead, like they had absolute faith all cars will follow traffic rules. And on the street as well, everybody eyes front, don't look around, nothing interesting happening. I look around all the time, absorbing every detail. But then again, I do have ADHD 🙂
I saw this young guy, around 17 walking near my place of work and he had the most awkward gate, he walked about 30% faster than normal but he took these huge steps, like he was forcibly taking the largest possible stride he could physically manage. It looked so awkward and the first though that came to my mind was 'what a self conscious nerdy idiot' and I'm a nerd myself, he may have been the nicest guy but I can see how the way somone walks makes a big impression on other people
I fell off a roof 16years ago (Permanent spinal cord injury), after a year and a half of physical therapy was walking with a cane instead of a walker or wheelchair. I was walking downtown at night to get back to my car and spotted a drunk and possibly disturbed person making a bee line for me. Now I don't know how obvious this is, but crippled people are typically always caring pain killers yeah, the good kind. I quit all that a long time ago but as this guy got closer I turned and told him that I don't want to be beaten to death for pills and I'm armed and if you don't leave, I'm going to defend myself. BTW: I love your inspirational Podcasts, it helps me "Embrace the Suck" 52 yrs old, 5 months Divorced, 2 months ago I been diagnosed with Leukemia, if I get past this Chemo bombardment, I have this warped idea to try BJJ . I had several years of Kung Fu 30 years ago . Did my first Desert Race on a ATV 3-4 months ago......getting after it.
@@Fatelvis2 Indeed, it's never too late to train a martial art, just know your body's limits and don't push them to the point of injury, solid training partners help ALOT.
I had a friend who lived in a rough part of NYC (this was over 15 years ago). She would sprint home as soon as she got off the subway train. Apparently it worked, no one ever bothered her.
i've been sayin for years "you are either predator or prey" decide how you want to be. Side notes: -Walking ever so slightly slower then everyone is also good, not extremely slow, just ever so slightly, it makes you look smooth, deliberate and controlled. In reality, the key is Do Not drag your feet, step with purpose, step with the heel. -Any burglar worth their weight in stolen goods will have a "pet kit" in which they keep various treats for pets that may happen to be home, a nice chunk of jerky or some sandwich meats will make even the most angry brute friendly. Lastly, follow the "Rule of Stupid" dont be.... Stupid places, at Stupid times, doing Stupid things, with Stupid people.
You can tell how animalistic and strong someone is by their walk. Putin is a good example of this when he walks next to diplomats. If you can see someone before they see you and they catch that you already watching them, they will probably be sense your awareness and know that they don't have the advantage. Jocko mentions this at 7:41.
@@mr.g816 Which makes it even more awesome when Trump basically arm dragged Putin into a handshake. They're both alphas, but I thought that little subtle dominance display was pretty funny.
Walk like you're stepping on the world runway and when your eyes make contact, stare through their soul. Can't tell you how many people get scared of a WALK or have a moment of infatuation. For the record I'm petite AND short. You're much more powerful than you realize!
I was grabbed and assaulted as I was getting home in my first night out when the lockdown was lifted. By two people in an unprovoked attack by two absolute scumbags. I ended up in hospital. They didn’t even mug me, they were just out to hurt people. I can hand on heart say should anyone ever to to hurt me again I’ve 18 months of ptsd that I’ll gladly take out on them. The rage in me to hurt someone who utterly deserves it is off the scale. Being caught unawares and put in hospital was a horrendous trauma to go through. But it changed me. It improved me. I don’t slouch, or dawdle along, I don’t walk with music on or distracted on my phone, or take risks with shortcuts putting my safety in danger. The awareness you get once you’ve been through something traumatic about how you carry yourself, can have you not recognising the previous you at all!
There are any number of dog breeds that tend to not bark, but are bad news to bad guys with bad intentions. We've owned, at the same time, Rottweilers and Pomeranians for over 30 years. For us, it's like a hunter-killer team. Both dogs are indoor dogs exclusively. The Pom hears everything and is the alarm. The Rott, a breed not known for barking, has the natural ability to switch from 50 + kilos of couch potato to gladiator mode in a blink of an eye. For us, it's been a great combination.
I used to live in West Hollywood and my job was walking distance. Even though I always work early hours, one day I work a late shift. Not supe late it was still light day and there was so many people around eating outside restaurants and walking around. However I got target by someone with a gun and they hit me in the face and took my bag. I always go back to that moment and realized what I did wrong and why they target me. I have bad posture and I also was talking on my phone and because it was later in the day and I was not used to I was probably walking looking afraid. I obviously learned a big lesson and now I constantly look around and make sure I know my surroundings, no matter if there’s people outside or is day time. Take care of your self
"What I did wrong." You really did nothing wrong, nor have anything to feel bad about, but I understand what you mean. But, realistically the one who did wrong was the deg3nerate who hit and robbed you.
I remember seeing one of those interviews with a burglar on how to avoid making yourself an easy target, and they heavily cautioned against relying on a dog as the primary or sole form of burglary prevention since the number one thing a burglar looks for when casing a house is whether or not the owner is home, and a dog's behavior can actually be a good way for them to determine if someone's home or not.
I'm no tough guy, just an aging former Infantryman who hasn't always made the best choices. I keep my head on a pivot, walk with a sense of purpose, and try to avoid putting myself in certain situations these days. At least three times I've used a firearm (or the illusion of one) to deter potential attackers. In the mid-'90s I was sitting in my car waiting for someone when I noticed two guys walking up the sidewalk and eying my car. As they got closer they split up and approached either side, so I grabbed the shotgun I kept at the time. They got pretty close to my doors, saw the gun, and kept walking. A few months later I was lured to a "friend's" house where my car was almost immediately blocked in. A bunch of people came out of the cars and house, so I called the "friend" over, showing them my MAK-90 and telling them I didn't know what was going on but that I was ready, racking the bolt with an empty mag in (a couple of loaded ones were next to me). The "friend" announced that I had a gun, everyone disappeared and cars drove off, and I left without further incident. I was a dumb kid that didn't take into account potential civil or criminal liability at the time. Years later, I was walking in a city when I noticed someone following me. I moved my hand towards my waistline like I was carrying, and moved to the other side of the street. Nothing happened, and maybe I was just being paranoid, but the funny/sad thing was I wasn't carrying that time, as I kept my .357 in the truck. I have a couple of dogs. The older one weighs about 100 lbs and has a raspy scary bark; he's a Black Lab and for some reason black dogs seem to scare people more. The other is a 50 pound Mountain Cur who is naturally loud and seems aggressive. I like knowing that they will alert me to anything out of the ordinary, especially the Cur that likes to just stare out the windows looking for something hunt-worthy. All that said, we can all get too comfortable. Prior to my Afghanistan deployment, I lived in a remote area just north of the Fort Stewart training area. I used to put the Lab in his carrier and haul him around in the bed of the truck, where he'd bark at anything he saw moving. So, my truck and dog were probably well known by the spread out neighbors. I went out of town a little over a month before deploying, forgetting my .357 and deciding not to add an hour by going back and retrieving it. Unbeknownst to me, the military family at the front of the property was moving out, leaving both houses vacant for a few days. I got home and found the power was out and neighbors' home cleared out. Then I discovered my house had been burglarized with the .357 and a couple of other guns missing along with most of my tools, tv, and a lot of other stuff. Detectives later said it looked like someone had been keeping an eye on the house and made multiple trips while I was gone. Long story short, I'd grown complacent, leaving firearms out of the safe (which was undisturbed but probably would have been broken into or stolen if I were gone another day or two), and announcing to everyone around when I was going somewhere (through the dog barking) and what I drove. After a night parked in the woods with body armor and a few firearms hoping the thieves would come back, I started putting stuff in storage before boarding a flight to Kyrgyzstan three weeks later. Situational awareness, body posture and movement, and overall demeanor are all deterrents to being targeted by a criminal, in my opinion. Dogs and other visual or audible deterrents such as cameras or alarms can help when at home, but in the end we have to rely on ourselves. Oh, and the burglar was caught, having cut himself breaking a window. He was a convicted felon who lived less than a mile away, and spent a whopping two years or so in prison for stealing over $10k worth of stuff to sell for cocaine.
This made me think of gazelles on the savanna. When chased by a predator, we’ve found that those who engage in “stotting”, which is when a gazelle seemingly jumps in the air pointlessly while being chased is a signal to predators that they have excess energy and coordination so attackers should go after one who isn’t displaying the activity. It’s been shown these animals are less likely to be successfully preyed upon
My ex used to make fun of me for walking “assertively” and slightly faster than he would naturally walk but he’s six feet tall and I’m 5’6 and skinny. I consciously DESIGNED the way I walk based on how often I would get catcalled. If I got catcalled I would adjust my walk and now I’ve got the sweet spot and it works for me. Not perfectly, because women are always targets, but it works most of the time. I also watch myself walking in windows if I’m downtown that way I can see alllll the way around me. My back, my front, and my side. If someone starts following me I start “casually” and confidently swinging my key lanyard, there are a lot of keys on there and it’s heavy, that gives me at least 4 or 5 feet around me that nobody is going to want to get near.
Relax not every man that walks behind you is trying to hurt you ... 99% of the time there just going the same direction and feel more anxious than you do because they probably are thinking you think their stalking you and don't want to make you uncomfortable or the situation creepy or awkward. Just a heads up.
@@Floatup Someone who has been r*ped sees *every* man as a threat due to the trauma. At least for a while afterwards. Telling someone to "relax" is extremely tone deaf. I do the same thing she does (with exception of swinging my keys; I don't want to give anyone anything to grab hold of and yank me towards them). But I _do_ use windows and mirrors to my advantage to see behind and around me.
@@Floatup No, but if you had a bag of gummy bears and one was lethal, but you didn't know which one, you'd be suspicious of all of them and rightly so.
Hehe, I walked like this during my 20s when I lived in a rough area surrounded by predatory men who routinely sexually harassed and threatened women and where friends of mine routinely got mugged. I am a fairly small person and normally kind of awkward and unsure in how I carry myself, but I instinctively snapped into a confidence walk and countenance when I was walking there alone at night. Forceful strides and making eye contact with and nodding at everyone I passed, like "I see you. I'm not afraid of you." I didn't swing my arms, though. Instead I had them in my pockets to give the illusion that I might have a weapon I was hiding. Thankfully, nothing happened to me. Not sure if I was just lucky or if my "don't look like a victim" instincts saved me at some point.
Growing up, my close friend had a german shepherd named Cody that typically stayed in their backyard. This dog was so cool. When my friend or his family was home you could walk up to the gate, pest Cody, and open the gate and freely go into the backyard. If they wasn't home. You could walk up to the fence, reach over the fence and pet Cody and everything would be just as cool as ever. The moment you reached down to unlatch the fence to walk into the backyard and Cody would immediately start growling at you. So you stop acknowledge Cody, reach back over the fence and pet him tell him "its ok, Cody its just me" and he would be the same ole loving Cody. The moment you reached down to unlatch the fence to walk into back yard Cody would start growling at you. You could go through that process over and over again. Reach over the fence, pet Cody and he'd be cool as ever, try to open the fence and he was start growling again, repeat, repeat. If they wasn't home there wasn't a chance in hell you was going to walk into that backyard. Eventually, Cody accepted me and he did eventually start letting me walk in the back yard if they wasn't home but our other friend that Cody knew long than he knew me was never accepted like that. There was only a very small select few of us that could walk into the backyard without getting attacked, if they wasn't home.
I live in Savage City. Every time I walk out of my house I wear an entirely different face and body language until I return. It's almost 2023 and even with all the horrendous crimes against humanity and there's still this overall unconsciousness,lack of awareness and ignorance about situational awareness. I am astounded by the level of obliviosness and especially among young men,women and children. Thanks for putting this out there and having their backs.
I always read that you should walk with confidence and walk with purpose. Know where you are going and take confident steps in that direction. I suppose it makes sense. It’s a message of “I have somewhere to be, possibly on time, and I’m determined to get there. And if I don’t, people will start to look for me very soon.” That would probably translate further as “I’ll fight back and I’ll do everything humanly possible to stop you, and even if you succeed, I’ll be missed soon and people will be on your trail quickly.”
I give them the even if you succeed, and I am silenced, there will be a mountain of evidence and I’m assuming your DNA is already in the database look.
My old hood had a subway stop that in one direction fed out onto a small back street lined on one side with a railway track and a thicket of trees where all sorts of dodgy stuff would go down. The other side was yards with fences, nobody coming or going. Perfect setup to get jacked. The number of people I saw walk out of the station in the winter with their hood up, headphones on staring at their phone was astounding. They were just asking to get jumped. And routinely they did, which would cue the same questions about "why don't the cops do something." Well, why don't YOU do a couple of things: headphones off so you can hear, hood down so you can see, and phone away so you can pay attention. And if you can't handle yourself, go round the block where there's traffic and late night stores and people around. Bascially, stop being an idiot.
I'm aboth a retired US Army NCO and LEO, and every bad guy that I arrested told had me that I looked that I was ready to fight. I avoided a lot of bad situations just by my demeanor and that was told to me by a lot of bad guys... Like you said, if you look that you are squared away, bad guys will look for another and easier victim! that's one I thank the Army, it taught me how to walk, dress and conduct when addressing people!
I’m a tiny female and I always say that I need to nip it in the bud before it even gets started. I don’t care how much training you have. I know I’d be done for if a big guy attacked me so I try to make it obvious that he wouldn’t be getting away scot free. If I look like an easy mark, I’ll be one.
Training your dog is a must. My dog alerts when outside whether I’m home or not. She actually alerts more when I’m home. When she’s inside, she follows me everywhere. She will quietly move to the front door or any other door & listens when she thinks she hears something. She’s ready. Planning on getting more German Shepards because the relationship is so beneficial for my family.
i always like listening to jocko talk about these topics because i've personally always been the kind of person to notice how my physical appearance in the world dictates how people will interact with me. im only 23, but even since i was 15 or 16 in high school i always had thoughts like "dont walk this way, keep your head up at all times. dont say anything that would make you come off as weak" i always thought i was overthinking things like that, like "who is really noticing all these small details?" but as i got older, i quickly realized that the way you physically carry yourself in life is EQUALLY if not more important than how you verbally interact with others. your physical actions set the 'tone' for how people will interact with you in the first place. also, me being a skinny dude i always felt like i had to have that rough outer shell to protect me from the bigger dudes who might try to press me. i went through all of high school without a single person saying the rude shit they thought about me to my face, and while it hurt, it also made me realize that without my outer shell i would have been swallowed alive by dudes that had more physical prowess than i did. even the biggest of men are fearful of things they cant predict, and i've spent what seems like my whole adult life doing what i can to be seen as unpredictable by people i dont closely associate with. and its worked so far. i call it the "porcupine" method, grant the illusion of superior force even if you dont truly possess it.
Reminds me of a “tamed” lion that you should never turn your back on and run from since it will see you as prey and not help but pounce. Like acting or looking a certain way makes predatory mindsets instinctively want to attack
A buddy of mine had a French mastiff. Never barked. When you went to his door, Brutus would come and just look at you with 1 lower tooth sticking up. Dog was at least 150lbs. You’d have to be nuts to try and go in
@@MealTeam6 A buddy of mine had a bigger dog than that. 650 lbs at least. They had to have their floor reinforced in his favorite sleeping spot, because it would crack the floor when he flopped his body down.
I have asian shepherds as my guard dog and at night a person/s would have to break into the property to be confronted by them. They are extremely well trained dogs that will make an enormous noise if there ever was an intruder.
This was SO interesting. Much appreciated. Women never get this information and we all need it! Another thing predatory people look for is , curled in shoulders. This could indicate low self worth, or even past trauma! People with PTSD breathe slightly differently actually. We are, "neck breathers" as I've been told. We unconsciously breathe shallow breaths and sometimes our posture supports this. Remember! Shoulders back. Belly breaths. 🖤
Slight correction: The shoulders often round and the head will slightly go forward if the person sits a lot at a desk and works on a computer. The neck often goes forward with people who look down at their cell phones, reads a news paper or is an avid bicyclist. My daughter is a massage therapist and she watches the way people carry themselves and walk. She pointed this out to me because of my job which requires hours of sitting at a computer. She gave me exercise to correct my posture.
You have to learn things yourself. People don't just give all the info to you. Goes for everything. Do your research. Gtta do your research on street smarts. Just like the b.s. Text books in school. There's alot noone wants you to know.
If you ever spend time in a “un-safe” neighborhood, you learn to do all these things naturally. I think I learned it from seeing every single person carry themselves similarly: looking around, making eye contact, walking confidently. I had a high school friend who lived in a sketchy part of the city, and I’m really grateful he invited me over so much. Years later I got off the wrong subway stop in Atlanta, I just knew when I got up to street level. I was rolling around with my carry-on luggage and some dudes straight up laughed at me. I wouldn’t recommend it, but I felt pretty comfortable with the situation. I’ve been in my share of un-safe situations and never had a problem, fortunately. Best to avoid them, but good to have situational awareness.
Reminds me of when I was traveling through Mexico with friends. The little old grandmother type and I were window shopping in Acapulco during the day and, being trained in martial arts, I noticed a guy that had his sights on her purse. She had flung it behind her back so she could get closer to the window. I watched him in the window reflection as he crept up. I turned around and took up a defensive position, blocking her and her purse. As we exchanged glances, he got the message and quickly turned around and left. Now that I'm older and somewhat decrepit myself, I still have no fear of being attacked...adrenaline can allow the body to do amazing things and my body remembers my training. What cracks me up is that people that don't know me think I'm 6 ft tall but I'm actually 5'2"...I call that the Aura of Don't F with me. 🤣
I thought you sounded taller by your comment! Ha ha ha, I know what you're saying, I'm just about the same. I'm 5'6" to some, to many others I'm about 6' even.
@@skindianu As someone who has scared strong men just by looking at them, I can tell you that when we stand in our Essence (Spirit) there is NOTHING that can best us. Well, that and the look of "crazy as f and ready to do anything it takes". 🤣🤣🤣
Mum always said walk with confidence and keep an eye watching and a ear listening. When I see people looking at their phones and walking I just think easy target, not that I'm a predator 😅 I just learnt to know my surroundings. So many people have no idea where they are because they look at a screen constantly. Stay safe 🙏🏽 I live in a decent area in South Australia and we still have people that streak or touching themselves in their car in day 🤦🏽♀️
The things that you’re talking about right now, actually changed automatically for me since I’ve adopted a growth mind set and escaped my depression. I honestly just think that these movements indicate how the wellbeing of a person is.
I walked to school and work most of my life, about a 3-5 mile walk. I started taking the train to Los Angeles which was about 2 hour ride, and I knew I had to change my posture when riding and waiting at the station. I’ve always been outwardly shy, and I’m still surprised that no one has even attempted to kidnap me or talk to me, but very grateful.
I think the most important is eye contact . Avoiding eye contact means you’re nervous or non confrontational . Big mistake . Glance at everyone , not starring but recognize them so they know you see them
I walk in hoods all the time that white people on the internet say is dangerous, and I disagree. Keep your eyes to yourself, don't look curious and like you're scouting around, be aware of your surroundings but don't initiate eye contact. Make clear that you're not a threat or an op, just a person trying to get somewhere
Not really. Eye contact in any dodgy place is a sign of a challenge, they will take it as you want to fight them. Best to keep your eyes focused straight ahead, confident look with quick spot checks and NEVER be looking down or glued to your phone.
I really appreciate when walking at night, and I see a guy walking towards me, that he will cross the road. Some men understand how threatened a woman feels walking alone at night. Once heard a saying - when men go out they are concerned with being insulted. When a woman goes out they are concerned that they may get raped or murdered. Big difference. 😢
tbh I think men are at least concerned about being physically attacked. I wouldn't underestimate that. (source: have been attacked a few times, threatened more times than I care to think about).
Yes, because no man has ever been raped or murdered. Except the ones who have been. I have been sexually abused as a child-teen, then raped as a teen and almost murdered when I ran away from home. Funny thing, I never worry about being raped or murdered when I leave the house. I do have PTSD from childhood and from an abusive relationship. I don't use it as an excuse to hate on all men and say they're all bad. Nor do I use it as an excuse to say all women are victims. There are plenty of crimes perpetrated against men. If you are constantly afraid when you leave the house you're living life wrong. Get therapy and get on meds for your anxiety. Toughen up. Get a CCW. Loads of women leave the house without worry everyday, you're being melodramatic and sexist. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I can't stand this womanhood victim mentality thing we have going on now.
@@chrisamies2141true. I am less concerned but worried at certain times. I think the fact most attacks are on women has a sexual component to it. So as a male I feel a lot more certain I won't be targeted as I'm Male and men are not typically attacked for that reason. I know this isn't always true. I do avoid groups of men or teenage boys though. Primarily as when men are attacked it is by groups of men or teenage boys. Women on the other hand tend to be attacked by single men too.
My natural reaction as a 5,9 woman is a fight response. I once pulled a junk of a girl he attacked. Just not being afraid and feel sorry for the person that will even try also helps a lot. People sense it when you're not afraid and have a little craziness inside you once attacked.
Weakness. When you FEEL weak or insecure, you will more likely be targeted. The difference between the respect you get when you are fit, strong and you KNOW that you are ready, able and willing to go at any moment, compared to when you have recently been sick, or are depressed, that difference is huge.
What if you feel not "weak", but just indifferent? Some months ago I was into a phase where I was quite literally fearless, not in a heroic or "though" sense, just did not care emotionally even when I thought I was in acute life threatening danger. (I was not suicidal either) Before that I had worried a lot and deeply about the Ukraine war and whether it would escalate to a world war. And I think I just used up the ability to feel afraid (lasted at least a few weeks, but went back to normal), I also felt kind of like some of my overall vitality was lost as well and no longer felt excited eg. when greeting or playing with our (my moms) dogs. And I didn't even feel physical pain the normal way, like getting vigorously scratched by our dog and it leaving visible marks, used to cause rather intense pain but back then it caused none at all I wonder if others have also "used up" the ability to be afraid
i'm 5'3" and at the time was 130 lbs. i used to leave the house early for work. early mornings are pretty dark in the winter at 6am and i'd usually be out walking into town down a long isolated stretch of the main road to get the bus anywhere between 5:30 - 6:00 AM. i experienced many incidents during those days. i will recount 2. there was a cement and crushed stone yard along the way. one morning there was a group of young guys gathered out by the side walk, maybe for day work. i caught the attention of one in particular. he was very aggressive towards me and he came up in my face with no more than 5 inches between us. i was terrified. i knew what could have happened and how young guys could behave in a group. at first i took a few steps back then i stood my ground. my face went red, and i wanted to cry but didn't. i was glaring at him while he sneered at me laughing in my face. my response to each nasty thing he said was to step aside so i could get to work. finally he did as a few of the guys told him to leave me alone. there was a trailer on the property where a dog was kept. that morning i stopped as i normally did to say good morning to him and pet him. the guy saw this and made more nasty remarks. several weeks later the dog was found dead. another winter morning on that same stretch of road some guy pulled up alongside me as i walked and asked if i wanted a ride. i said, "no, thank you but thanks anyway!". he tried to persuade me to get in his car. i refused. he got angry, i got annoyed. he insisted, i got loud. he demanded and i got nasty. mind you, i did not stop walking all during this. it was dark, it was cold - i hate winter - and now i'm cold and annoyed! he revved his engine, took off but stopped maybe 20 feet ahead of me, waited for me to catch up to the car, and demanded that i get in the car. i truly thought that he was going to try to get out and force me to get in! so there was hyper vigilance mixed with more annoyance and i said so all and sundry could have heard me, '**** you!!! who the **** are you!?! you asked me once, i was polite, now you're pissing me off (and thinking 'scaring the snot out of me'). what don't you understand? i said "no" !!! now, please leave me alone! and he drove off without another word. i truly thought that he was going to double back and follow me but he didn't.
I have 4 huskies and 1 lab. A lot of people are scared of them for some reason. They’re sweet as can be, but they bark at outsiders, my huskies don’t bark nearly as much as the lab but they are definitely a deterrent, being a bunch of pretty big dogs waiting for you. As a female with anxiety, I really only feel safe with my dogs.
Agreed. 6 years serious competition bjj and Muay Thai for 5 years, im never really nervous and even in a dangerous situation I'm more thinking than feeling a type of way. It allows you to unplug from your emotions and use your mind to control your body under stress. I've never felt threatened since I started
This is very good advice also for guys being in a bar or a club, or in an airport / on an airplane.. or other sensitive places where looking odd could get you unwanted hostile attention from police, TSA, bouncers, or flight attendants. I've learned this the hard way. Many years ago I was on a connecting flight in Las Vegas to Los Angeles, and I was running through the airport with heavy boots on, wearing my winter jacket and carrying my carry on luggage.. all because they gave me hardly any time to get to the plane and it was on the other side of the airport.. When I board the plane they tell you that you can sit wherever you want so I sat down in one seat and then I changed my mind, got up and I moved to another seat.. Just that simple thing of appearing like I was confused.. I was feeling queasy.. probably because of running across the entire airport .. I was sweating .. and because of this, the flight attendants would not let me fly on the plane. I went to the terminal desk. No go. They just said that they can't let me on the plane because I was exhibiting weird behavior and I was sweating. Of course by this time I felt fine.. No longer queasy, I stopped sweating after I took my jacket off but I had to stay at a hotel in Vegas and catch another flight the next day. When I say I felt fine I meant I went to the casino and had a great night.. Didn't get in trouble with anyone there.. at all.. You really have to look well put together and like you know what you're doing in sensitive areas or people will think you look suspicious.
When l was flying international to go to my 12 yo nephews funeral, 2 friends walked me round and around the airport until flight time, so l was the only one stopped and rescanned and asked what was the purpose of my travel? All l said was said was "my nephew's funeral" immediately then they waved me thru, any unusual behaviour, no matter how harmless, triggers them.
@@issecret1 Anxiety. l was going to a funeral and was profiled, it wasn't just sweating in his case, it was also switching seats, maybe his size, his boots? lt's not an exact science but if you work in any kind of security you will realise that most ppl act exactly the same herd like, so they look for tiny tells of difference. This is security anywhere not just American - l'm not from there. Also most ppl walk around in a light trance, l am very focussed very purposeful, coincidentally so are criminals doing crime, so l get followed often. 😂
@@fiftyshadesofurban That was the takeaway from the film "Catch me if you can, breezy CONfidence" But poorly trained security guards just go off 1 tell rather than a cluster. I'm not a herd member either, but l have dependants l have to wing.The trouble is, people are so" domesticated" they don't get spooked and run, but they still give out subtle stress tells like eating more over the long term, (used to be looking pointedly away FROM danger) or these days most likely filming it on their phones to get posthumous? clout. C The experience can be summed up as like taking a short cut through a field, of cows, to be greeted by a semi circle of fixed staring with ceaseless chewing.
That’s why I observe my surroundings before I go out. Any building I walk into I’m always looking out, putting myself in a corner where I can see a huge chunk of the building. I walk at a steady pace, not low energy or high energy. I have headphones in, but I don’t make them so loud that I cancel the noise around me, and often times, I’ll only have one headphone in. 99% of the time, I’ll have a knife on me, either in my pocket, or hidden in a knee brace that’s up to my quads(I’m wearing shorts most of the time. I’ve had my bike robbed plenty of times and I’ve known some really deranged people around these parts.
I'm a super skinny girl, maybe 110 lbs. And in Boston, for whatever reason I get mistaken for a man 90% of the time when I'm out walking. I guess that helps? A security guard told me once that talking on the phone, or pretending to, decreases the risk of getting mugged by like, 80% or something crazy. So sometimes I call people if I'm in a sketchy place. Adding all these notes of noticing people, staying aware, and how you walk is bomb.
If a thug wants to rob a phone they will do so even if a person is on it. Best approach is to try and not be walking on your own at night. If that is not an option concealed carry would be a last line of defence or even a taser/pepper spray. If somebody is walking near you putting your hand inside a jacket or pocket in an exaggerated manner can sell the idea that you are carrying. And if you are really suspicious of a man following you putting your hand inside your jacket and standing aside can really send the signal that you could just about do anything. One of the most important things a person can sell is alertness. Letting people know that you are sharp and on the ball at all time. Just do not be stressed the whole time though as it is just a look you are trying to sell.
I did the same thing whenever I was being followed in a store by a guy (no shopping cart or basket and no name tag) and was talking to my mom loudly while staring at the guy and moving from aisle to aisle. He got the picture and left the store. My mom had the audacity to tell me that he probably was shy and didn’t know how to approach me 🙄 Being a nice girl to a stranger (heck, even a toxic friend or relative) can get you hurt or killed nowadays.
@@chrisamies2141 They do it all the time these days. Walmart is notorious for all kinds of stuff. Look at youtube videos. That's where I learned about it.
This information is all dead on!! I already became aware of this as a teenager in the UK. I went to live in South Spain and saw first hand how a lot of this is applicable. It's hard to explain to people how you should walk down the street to discourage bullies/problems. And not attract the wrong kind of attention. I started doing these things subconsciously I think. But in recent years have made many mental notes. Thanks for talking about this because this is some basic self preservation know how everyone needs to know
The slow walking aint always weak looking, if someone walks slowly it can also look confident. I'd say walking faster might look more like you are scared and in hurry. But mostly it depends how you carry yourself, not how fast you walk
I'm naturally a fast walker but l also "glide" think, economy of movement, like a big cat. So l have never had trouble outside, in my life ever, not even in the roughest spots, even have got out of trouble when walking with "natural targets" with no situational awareness, you have 2 unpredictable sources of trouble in that scenario, you have to be super smooth. Inside a building is a whole different ballgame, there l try to use proximal awareness, but sometimes you can get in a tight spot so the pre-fight is actually more of a challenge, if they control the exit(s) they can take their sweet time.
I'm small but many times I've felt someone has thought about mugging/attacking me and I see them pull back at the last minute.I do project some very dark thoughts sometimes.
My dachshund straight up squared off with a doberman, that little dude is insane and has no fear, I'd trust him to alert me or even defend the house
Рік тому+8
Thanks for this very interesting post. You’re right to say that it depends of the dog ; we had a big male boxer of 45kg & one day, when we were away, thieves broke into our garage. When we came back, we saw that they had simply put the dog outside, in the garden, to be able to “work” in peace (fortunately, they couldn’t come inside the house itself). The dog must have thought that they were friends of ours or something …
I was doing this without thinking about it, living in a dangerous area in a big city as a woman, I thought it was normal to be hyper-aware of my surroundings. Always catching if a certain person is watching carefully for too long or instilling my false confidence to appear less "vulnerable".
This guy just described my survival mode in New York City. Walk like you own the place, look at everything and everyone for the slightest bit of wrong in people places nature everything. Be ready for 💩 to hit the fan; exits, cars, weapons, human behavior shifts. Use your senses; look, hear, smell everything everywhere. It’s ingrained in me now it’s natural. I could be sitting at my porch and notice the birds aren’t chirping. It’s a blessing and a curse ❤
Someone was right behind me and I turned around and made brief eye contact with her. She was mentally unstable and took my glance at her as a threat, I guess. And she attacked me. I totally stand by the school of thought that sometimes people take eye contact as a threat....
I think eye contact with a stranger (where they dont immediately look away) feels threatening on a primal level, even if their expression isn't necessarily threatening on its own. But you will never have full control of what some crazy people do anyway, and someone crazy could have completely different "rules" than the rest
When I was a teenager , I weighed 105 pounds (ah, the glory days!) and I am 5 ft 2. My stepmother used to tell me I walked like a football player. (I am sure if I wiggled my butt, that wouldn't have been acceptable either). My favorite seating position has always been in a corner of a room facing out, so I can see everything and everyone around me. ( Basically a lot of insecurity, and these traits helped make me feel more in control.) I always would look at someone for a few seconds if I felt them staring at me, just to act like their staring didn't bother me (even though it bothered me!) I am feeling kind of proud of myself right now!
My female GSD was so intimidating, she didn’t bark, but stood and looked. No one EVER got out of their car at my home without permission. She was like a mother to my babies and kids, but a fierce mother bear. Oh, and her bark was terrifying when she got to the point of showing teeth and doing what was necessary. I took her in my car everywhere, and she was well trained and off leash all the time. Peace loving, but so scary when necessary.
I was walking home in the dark and this guy appeared out of nowhere. Started following me. He was over 6ft. I stood squared ( having walk to the middle of the road) I had to confront him as I was not going to be able to run from him or fight him off. I shouted 'No. Do not approach people in the dark. Its socially in appropriate. Leave me alone.' . I am 5ft small women. I observed this body behaviour and language tone from a police women. ( they are trained to have presence)
I remember a long time ago a stranger approached my house, hidden from sight I started to bark with a hint of menace. The stranger retreated. I felt like I deserved a treat🐶
🤭🤭🤭 awww man, that was nice! 👍
😂😂😂😂good idea though
dude ran because he thought you're mental 🤣🤣🤣
Haha it works either way. They'll think there's a dog or a psycho inside and just move on to the next house
Oh... I loved this!!!!!!! (ty!)
Don't wear headphones in public. That makes you a got target because it elimantes one of your most valuable senses; your ability to hear someone sneak up from behind.
Someone is watching the sunglas jet dude over here.
@@Kristoffceyssens still facts though
@@MegaXECUTION it simple realy. Dont be weak and you wont apear weak. You cant fake confidence. You know when a dog knows when you have some doubt? Humans got those instincts to. The feeling you get with ppl. Trust it.
I like to wear mine off... And be listening to what people say while they think I can't hear. Lmao
You mean I can't show off my AirPod Pro Max's in public? :(
Went trail hiking with a husky that I pet sat for when I a man was approaching in the opposite direction. He was dressed very inappropriately for a trail and looked suspicious. I decided to walk confidently past him when the husky, gave a long menacing growl at him as we walked past. The man jumped away a little bit. Dogs can sense when someone isn't right. I always felt safe when walking her after that.
Dogs have an insane sense of safety in humans...I was dog sitting once and took the dog down by the beach at night and as we were walking the dog kept stopping and whining and i just kept saying " C'mon"...Turns out there was a homeless guy laying on the bench in front of us and I couldnt see him because it was dark.
The husky growled because you were anxious and he thought he had to protect you. If you are strong, the dog feels safe around you.
@@esmolol4091 Agree. Dogs aren't magic - but are handy companions.
@@gelvinlane6097 Unfortunately they are a living weapon at a certain size and race and I see way too many blokes and frustrated drunkyard women having them without bite protection.
The leash wouldn't help anyway if a pitbull or other fleshy dogs would start to charge at something.
@@esmolol4091 ???
Agreed. I escaped two different attempted kidnappings when I was traveling alone in europe in my early twenties. One time I escaped by blending into a crowd and moving with their exact pace/slightly faster. Luckily it started raining and my hood went up alongside everyone’s umbrellas and they lost track of me. The second time, the guy chased me beyond the crowd i tried to blend into and he only stopped following when we were separated by a crosswalk and I decided to stand tall, look at him in the face, and shake my head “no”. He immediately turned and walked away. Confidence and inner power definitely makes a difference.
What the fuck !? Where did this happened and who were these people ?
@@alittleclosertoheaven8549 It didn't happen. It's a made up story on UA-cam designed to obtain likes as a measure of validation.
@@alittleclosertoheaven8549 the first time was in Rome and the second time was in Amsterdam. Both times the men themselves were Italian though, even in Holland.
@@Livingangelerin Really weird to see that such people exist in countries that we regard to be really safe. I guess that the pursuers figured out that you are not from these places and were onto you in order to sell you into some kind of horror.
I saw Hostel too. Great film : )
As a woman who traveled alone for work outside the US a ton, you do get this sense...it isn't exactly being "aggressive" because that can inspire trouble and go in a different direction. But it is, as you said, the direct gaze. The "I see you. Chances are I know what you are thinking...so don't bother - its not going to work out well for you. I am going to make it my personal mission to make this waaaay more trouble than it is worth for you."
RBF serves many purposes!
In many places the direct gaze from a girl means to guys "I am interested in you, come talk to me" and if the girl is in guy's type he will come and chat with you.
@@owlNolan not this look lol
@@owlNolan nope
I wanna work around the world but this really scares me. I’m thinking of taking self kick boxing class
The thing with small dogs is that usually they are more afraid of everything because of their size than bigger dogs, so usually they are more aggressive to over compensate that, so i think they can also be quite a deterrent to people trying to get into your home
exactly, some small dogs are real menace, will bite your hand off or go after your leg
and some big dogs can be useless against an attacker, our family’s lab was sometimes friendly towards strangers and sometimes she was more afraid than us, so we were joking that if there was an attacker we would be the ones that would be protecting our dog and not the other way around 😂
@@FruityHachi A big dog having little dog attitude is legitimately too dangerous. I’ve had big dogs try to run at me from across the street just running by. Not something you should strive for unless you want a dead dog and a fat lawsuit on your hands.
@@FruityHachi if you're going to get a big dog get a real big dog made for protecting, this isn't just necessarily about the size but genetics, labs are some of the most genetically weak dogs when it comes to protection.
@@pxrisxiv our intention wasn’t getting a dog for protection, we wanted a family-friendly dog
but yeah, next time my dad wants a doberman
That’s why small dogs are good watch dogs, watch dogs alert you to danger.. large dogs can be guard dogs depending on breed but most are not great watch dogs .. molossers are my favourite protection breed group as they don’t usually need training .. they are natural protectors and will make little sound till they are upon the trespasser, if trained to attack they often go to far and kill from shear brute power and commitment to abait the threat .. however they are (when raised right) incredibly gentle and tolerant of children within their family.
I used to walk a 1/2 mile to a bus stop at 4:45am, to catch a bus to work. Never saw anyone else out at that time. Then one morning my gut said walk down the other side of the 4 lane street that led to the bus stop. The feeling in my gut was too strong to ignore. As I was walking I saw a man walking up the sidewalk on the side of the street I usually walked on. There was an approx. 3 ft tall median plus 4 lanes between us. He seemed to see me when I saw him. He gave me the strangest feeling. I hurried to my bus stop which was on a busier and well lit street. Listen to your gut. Not long after, I obtained a car.
Maybe he had seen you making that journey on a regular basis. I think Our Father told you to go the other side that morning. Bless you.
Amazing instincts. I wonder what your subconscious picked up on to warn you!
Excellent example of "The Gift of Fear." Gavin de Becker's book is a good read for anyone
@@angr3819 Yes, it was His prompting I followed. There is a bit more to the story and perhaps I should have included it and not been concerned about story length. Be well and God bless. Psalm 119:105
@@PsalmS-vi8zl we'd love to hear the rest of your story! It's a cautionary tale. Always listen to your gut.
There’s a thing we say in New York City about how to walk to avoid getting mugged.
Walk like you’re walking with a purpose, like you have somewhere to be in 5 minutes.
If you look like you’re walking around daydreaming, not paying attention, on your phone, you’re a target.
Walk like you were sent to kill Captain America.
same here in Santiago Chile, a big dangerous city where we don't stop and look busy to avoid being mugged
but you can't walk too fast either because it then seems like you're scared. best to just walk like he described here. it feels good, too
@@Kovitlac Ah yes, the murder walk.
Well, not what Jocko said. If I go somewhere I need to be in 5 minutes in means I walk way faster than others. I guess your NC wisdom is a fail
Can you imagine breaking into a house expecting it to be an easy smash and grab and being confronted by Jocko at 4:30am.
Honestly you probably wouldn’t even see him coming. One minute your in his house next minute your standing in front of your maker …….
He did mention one time “if I feel my enemy is going attack me, I’m going to attack him first.” So really he’s just going to pull a reverse uno card at 0430
Heart attack city
bad day at the office
You go to leave your house at 3:30 a.m. to go to his, when you open your door he's outside waiting with a kettle-bell.
On breaking eye contact: I was taught, 1. Breaking up make you look arrogant. 2. Breaking down makes you look weak. 3. Breaking lateral makes you look confident.
If there is another interpretation of this, I would like to hear it.
Yes there's another interpretation if they break eye contact abruptly while smiling and blushing when you catch them Congrats. Someone's got a crush on you 😉
Sometimes is ok just to not engage in eye contact al all. Just ignore them.
Sounds like you pretty well nailed it.
wow you normies must be exhausted all the time having to think about all this stuff, how do you even have the energy to work jobs?
All this yapping just fucking nod and move on with your day
Had a professor who grew up in Moscow during the 90s, a period of complete social collapse and criminality. He told us that just walking to the store alone dramatically increased your odds of getting jumped. Said when you were out there was 1 rule: always walk straight and briskly with your head down but eyes forward. Look around but don't make eye contact. If you look too confident other gopniks (russian thugs basically) would think you were challenging them. If you looked too meek you were prey. Always stay in your lane and for the love of god if you do make eye contact you better staredown that fucker like Hannibal, or you're toast.
That’s exactly how you walk through gang territory. It’s a bit different from the way you walk through a major city because you must show awareness while avoiding direct eye contact.
This ain't Russia here ...deal with your war
@@christopheredig2332 lol you’re a goof
I have dealt with the "gopniks" when I was on a layover in Moscow (I'm an airline pilot). This brings interesting memories.
This is eyeopening
The last time someone tried to rob me it inflated my ego so much. I was walking through a small street facing carpark to go into a shop, and noticed 2 young guys on bikes staring at me and my brother. We're both very skinny Indians so they thought we're easy targets. We finished shopping, and as we were walking out I saw them through the shop's window, still staring at us. I knew what they were up to, so I told my bro to ignore them. They rode up to us and the younger guy kept trying to get our attention, but we kept on ignoring them. Eventually the older one tells the young one to grab me, so younger guy rolls up and is about to pull my shoulder. I had my boney fist clenched, jaw tightened, rage about to lash out. He saw my face and looked scared for his life. He turned to the older guy and said "what do I do?" and they both just rode away. I won without raising my hand or saying a word, and that made me feel untouchable.
Two guys rode up to a couple skinny Indian kids with the confidence to say loud "grab him" and one look was enough to make them run? and while saying "what do I do?"
*I call bullshit*
@@picklejho69 Hi there. I was one of the bikers. After I said "What do I do???" we made a run for it. That is one Indian kid you don't want to have as an enemy. His skinny body looked like it was about to destroy everyone around him. I'm glad I got out of that situation alive!!!!
@@picklejho69 It was almost like an initiation. The older guy was watching the younger guy. The young guy wasn't confident at all. They waited for me to go spend my money in the shop before they worked up enough courage to try and rob me. He obviously wasn't a seasoned roadman and hadn't robbed anyone before, so seeing the face of someone that might fight back scared him off.
And then everyone clapped
I was the shop clerk and it true 😁
I used to think my self awareness was a sign of my anxiety, but ive been learning the way im always looking around, seeing whats going on, never sit with your back to the door, are all the right thing to do
Yes and training on top of that
Situational awareness will keep you out of 99.99% of all problems.
@@haveaday1812 Well said Sir. Most people unfortunately are not paying attention to what's going on around them. I see it everyday ESPECIALLY among the Millennial crowds...smh.
When I first got into martial arts my teacher was a marine. At 12 years old he handed me a book "Grey Man". That lifestyle ontop of mma is the perfect way to live.
I'm learning that it's only good if you can turn it off when you want to. I deal with the same thing, and while it's useful, it's also a pronounced symptom of PTSD. Which I might add can come from ANY trauma. You don't have to be in a war to suffer from it. If you find that you can't turn off your hypervigilance, then that's a potential sign that you might have deeper issues. If that's the case, then you may benefit from talking to a therapist. I've been doing this. It helps. I'm still super aware of everything, but I'm getting better at being able to relax too.
The things we are not taught in school. Psychopaths in the workplace are not that different from those in the street. Thanks for this.
I got my MBA from a top end school. Not once in four years (I did a part time program for people who were working) was anti-social, predatory behaviour discussed. Not even once. What also wasn't discussed was how dangerous "normal" people can be and are with their mental health issues and addictions. Then there's garden-variety lying, dishonesty, fraud and theft. This is all really relevant stuff in the workplace and especially if you are a business owner. We have a widely shared narrative that tells us business owners are the villains. You'd be amazed who the real villains are. Most often it's the employees.
I learned by instinct - plus dad, music & dance instructors always emphasizing good posture & sitting / standing up straight - in making brief, respectful eye contact acknowledging individuals I'd see while walking alone in the downtown area I worked & lived. Never felt safer than when my German Shepherd was with me. Trust my instincts. The only person who invaded my space was an older/old man in a grocery store checkout line who tried to full-body lean into me (assuming I'd be too shocked & polite to do anything) but I immediately yelled & stepped away, shouting "Don't touch me - get away from me." He was a total creeper who fled the store fast! I'd had a weird vibe about him and shamed him by loudly alerting everyone what he was doing instead of letting it happen (& I'm a quiet person).
You have avoided danger and you bring a dog with you. That's the lesson
I'm glad you posted this comment. I learned something from it. I once had a frail looking old man who leaned up against me in public and I was so perplexed wondering does he realize he's this close. Is this intentional or is he old and confused? So I ofcourse stepped away and his body immediately followed mine trying to get close again that's when I put a considerable more amount of space between us. That creeper knew what he was doing. If something like that ever happens again I'm not going to give him the benefit of the doubt just because he's old and frail. Because that's what's he's counting on. I'm going to look and point straight at him and say DON'T do that loud enough for everyone to hear and embarrass the shit out of him.
Once I walked back home late at night. At certain moment I became aware of a guy walking behind me, wearing a hoodie. He was getting closer and I just sensed he had bad intentions towards me. I could feel it. I could tell he probably would try to surprise me from behind. I stopped for a moment, looked behind me and stared at him directly. I just let him know I'm fully aware of him and won't go without a fight. Then I crossed the road so he couldn't walk behind me. He didn't try anything and just walked in different direction after. I still think if I didn't acknowledge him he'd probably assault me.
@@joan8656 I am a woman. But maybe I do have an advantage of being quite tall and athletic looking. But in any case, it's important to not look scared.
He was probably trying to walk past you and got weirded out
Perfect username
@@gezzapklol 😂
@@gezzapkfunny and might be true but why take your chance?
I am a petite 5'2" female. I have followed the gray man philosophy for years. So far it has been working for me. My Daddy, a US Army veteran ,told us always wear something on your feet you can run in. In case you have to !
My daddy also told me to always carry something in my holster to use in case I had to.
My experience has been that there will certainly be days when we need to run. I am always in running shoes.
Facts!
My dad used to work in Baltimore which would lead to some unsavory dimlit walks amongst the local creatures of the night. He said when passing droves of people he'd make himself look insane, play up cooky.
Crazy is scarier than Strong/badass. I could pass Jocko on the side walk, feel infinitely safer than passing a guy who weighs like 90 pds with gangly limbs who just looks like a rapid animal.
A rabid raccoon is scarier than a full grown man.
Yeah plus a crazy homeless looking guy isn't worth robbing anyway
@@pdorism
I get you. Whenever I walk past these junkie drug addicts I simply avoid any interaction with them. Their behavior and appearance are unpredictable and sometimes simply scary
It'd be much easier to fight off a 90lbs crackhead than a guy built like Jocko, crazy doesn't make you necessarily stronger......
@@aj897 I'd rather get my ass kicked by Jocko than fight someone who has ep*titis and *ids
@@aj897 idk man, ever heard of the tard strength?
All of this and my mom’s method too: act insane if all else fails. Become unhinged if need be and don’t do it unnecessarily. She saved my life teaching me how to be aware and I can become quite bizarre when I do see a threat. Watch out for the psychopath waiting to meet another one, the difference is I don’t attack people but I’d love to 😂😁
DEL
exactly. first it's bad juju to mess with the mentally ill, second, psychos are unpredictable and have no conscience, the attacker is likely to end up dead and they know it. never mess with us crazy people.
This reminds me of the method a friend has to get rid of annoying guys who won't take a no. She just makes creepy comments in a very casual way, like " have you ever wanted to push someone of an escalator and watch them fall? Like, i wouldn't actually do it, but i def get the impulse to sometimes, but that's normal, right?" . They think she is insane and leave her alone XD
Yep. I had to scream the f word in Malaysia after being followed for blocks.
He left me alone after that
Do all the above if need be 🤔 stay safe friends !
As one of the “petite older women” who worries about this kind of thing, this is very helpful to hear. I take the fastest, biggest strides I reasonably can (with my stumpy legs), I pay attention to what’s going on around me, and I square my shoulders off and keep my head up.
Don't take too big of steps either they should be medium length or itll look odd and also draw attention
I'm not older yet (getting there) but I'm very much petite. I naturally take big steps for a small petite woman and also am always aware of my surroundings.
This makes feel better.
People can sense fear in others. Walking too fast with big strides visually signals you're afraid unless exercising. Suggest learning how to read body language. It helps to evaluate intent from a longer distance. It will help calm down your mind. I've naturally done what this guy suggests. Never realized my behavior was protective. Strangers constantly strike up friendly conversations when seeing me look around or at them. He's correct, most people today are hunched over staring down at their phones. They're sitting ducks to anyone looking for a victim.
Consider arming yourself.
You should train in BJJ and thai boxing. Then the proper strides would come naturally.
Every time I tell the story of when I almost got kidnapped, the reaction is always something stupid like 'maybe they chased you to tell you they weren't chasing you' or 'maybe you dropped something'... it was so scary, I wish people would actually believe this stuff happens even in safer areas :(
Omg
I hate when ppl react that way. Not being believed can be so traumatizing
@Ivy I also don't understand their thought process in defending a group of old men they don't know as opposed to me who was a teenager at the time? 😩
It is likely a reaction people have because they'd rather believe you are wrong and the world they live in is as safe as they presumed. I thought my parents were clingy until they saved me and my friend from a kidnapping on vacation. Don't go to Ocean City, Maryland.
@@laurahano2587 I been there. It’s a normal fine place
Like any other. What’s the issue?
It's so true, especially about looking at people. I've been in situations as a small woman and if I sense someone is looking weird at me I'd just make eye contact and then they back away.
Sometimes, just that is enough. As a small female myself, I have found that carriage and demeanor can do a lot to nip those situations where you know you would get your butt handed to you. Head on a swivel and keep moving.
The power of body language.
I was abroad, staying at an area that had a lot of street dogs living outside. One day I was walking, coming back from the grocery store, and I got ambushed by a large group of dogs. They stood in a row in front of me, barking menacingly.
Here’s the thing though, I love dogs and it takes a LOT for me to ever be scared of them. Even when they get aggressive. It doesn’t scare me, I stay calm. So these dogs were trying to intimidate me. I wasn’t impressed. No sign of panic, shoulders back, head up high, I looked at them sternly, and instead of backing away I confidently took one step forward claiming my space. The alpha dog’s energy and body language shifted immediately, as if he was saying “Oh, my bad. I’ll leave you alone then.”. The other dogs followed his lead. They all got quiet and moved aside to let me pass.
Don't you ever look at the eyes of an aggressive dog. It counts as agression from your side and might provoke an attack
@@teissi He didnt get attacked. Read it again.
@@ziolp he was just extremely lucky. Read it again.
Crocodile dundee stare down ☺️
There are two kinds of dogs to have, the dog that will alert you to trouble by barking and growling and the dog that won’t make a sound while they sneak up and attack the intruder. Both are great to have.
I had both. The barker woke the assassin up, although she was usually on patrol through the night. So quiet you couldn’t hear her on a tile floor.
Agreed, I’ve had both myself. I had a Ridgeback ninja that snuck up on a couple of people and put the fear into their existence. Also had those that had the bark that warned of things to come. Nothing like a good dog.
The secret to not looking like a victim is to be Jocko
So simple :)
Yeah, that should help😂
@@spazemfathemcazemmeleggymi272
Can't you see I'm easily bothered by persistence?
One step from lashing out at you
You want in, to get under my skin and call yourself a friend
I've got more friends like you, what do I do?
Is there no standard anymore?
What it takes, who I am, where I've been, belong
You can't be something you're not
Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me
A lesson learned in life
Known from the dawn of time
Respect, walk, what did you say?
Respect, walk
Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me?
Run your mouth when I'm not around, it's easy to achieve
You cry to weak friends that sympathize
Can you hear the violins playing your song?
Those same friends tell me your every word
Is there no standard anymore?
What it takes, who I am, where I've been, belong
You can't be something you're not
Be yourself, by yourself, stay away from me
A lesson learned in life
Known from the dawn of time
Respect, walk, what did you say?
Respect, walk, are you talkin' to me?
Respect, walk, what did you say?
Respect, walk
Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me?
No way, punk
Respect, walk, what did you say?
Respect, walk, are you talkin' to me?
Respect, walk, what did you say?
Respect, walk
Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me?
Walk on home, boy
Just be a Navy Seal bro
Not me. Don’t need anyone to watch my own 6.
It's funny, but I've noticed when I'm in someplace like a grocery store, people often glance at me, then hurry to get out of my way and sometimes apologize. I don't dress richly, but I typically wear nice dresses and I always have a hat on and I often shop like I'm on a mission (because I usually am; I want to be done as quickly as possible). I also trained myself to have good posture when I walk (just don't look at me when I'm seated, LOL) and try to appear classy. I don't think people are intimidated, like they fear I will hurt them, so much as it is some lizard brain instinctual respect for social hierarchies and, even unintentionally, I present myself to be higher on the social ladder.
I worked with a girl once who was very anti-gun, anti-violence (as was her husband) and when we were talking about what to do if someone broke in, she said that if someone broke into their apartment, she'd just let them take the TV. I didn't have the heart to ask her, "And what if they're not there for the TV; what if they're there for you?" I guess she'd just get raped and/or murdered. Me, I'm going to be like the old woman my pistol instructor told us about who woke up to find a naked man beside her bed. She offered to give him a BJ if he didn't hurt her, then she grabbed him by the tackle and squeezed until the lights went out. Then she started to drag him through the house by his fishing rod until he woke up. He flailed and tried to get away as she told him she was dragging him to where she had her gun and she was going to shoot his crown jewels off and then torture him. He cried and pleaded and flailed until he ended up falling through her glass coffee table at one point. Finally she dragged him out the front door and let him go. Then she called her son, who lived next door, and the police, and they caught him still wandering around the neighborhood naked and cut up.
Always have a plan to feign helplessness and trick them into letting you reach for a weapon or put themselves into a vulnerable position so you can go on the attack.
Did he grab him by the jewels and that made him pass out?
Next time, ask the anti gunner the tough question. Get them thinking...
@@jenx5870 She and her husband ended up joining the Peace Corps or going on some sort of church mission to Ethiopia. Life probably taught them what words couldn't.
@@AuDazzity Yes. She squeezed so hard, the pain made him pass out. But apparently you can squeeze so hard you can make someone wake up again. Works both ways. LOL.
When I was about 12 years old I came to a house of a friend and didn't know he had a dog. I came in, door was open, saw my friend was not there. When I was going to exit, there was a German shepherd lying across the exit. No sound. But as I approached the door there was a quiet roar that made me shivers. I had no cell phone back then. So I waited on the couch for a couple of hours till my friend got back. Dogs that are trained and smart are a real deterrent for sure...
He told you “Sit, boy!”
My dad had a dog like that. She’d let anybody in but wouldn’t let them out. You needed clearance to leave and if you weren’t meant to be in, well, there you were as evidence that you’d got in.
Sounds like my German Shepard. Didn’t start growling until you close the door in the dark.
Right on the money. I was watching a documentary on a cop killer. The first cop that pulled him over he killed. During the manhunt another cop pulled him over and arrested him. They asked him why he didn’t kill the second cop. The difference was in their appearance. First cops uniform was disarrayed, second cop was squared away, even his boots were shined. He said he knew that cop would of gotten the better of him.
Good discipline shows up in neat uniforms with well shined brass.
@@johnrockwell5834 right on brother.
He thought he had military training. It's nothing beyond that
@@no_peace
A good professional Military will have neat uniforms, shined brass and good training including effective military discipline.
@@no_peace I guess that’s all it took to give the killer a moment of pause.
New fear unlocked: not being able to look like a ready to go psycho
watch some Joe Biden news clips and learn
I learned to do a facial spasm on one side of my face, like a cat before it attacks. It makes me look psycho. I remember meeting a guy with this kind of spasm, I didn’t want to know him. 😂
@@777hathor 😂
I’m 42 and walk with a limp due to a serious injury. Ironically, I’ve always been very conscious of this. Not because I was taught, but because I almost sensed it. Even with a limp, I command respect and attention. It’s amazing what presence does. Eye contact, confidence, and not giving a shit is so incredibly important to perception.
I was feeding my friend’s pitbull when he was out of town and it turned on me and I escaped just in time. He was of the opinion that I hadn’t been sufficiently confident because his dog wasn’t dangerous. I said it clearly was dangerous if it attacks when insufficient confidence is shown 😂😂😂
Some people and their dogs 😂😂😂😂
Maybe you should get some self awareness. feeding a dog that is big and that does not know you is not a good mix
@@stonnergaming420 - Maybe he learned his lesson and doesn't need advice.
@@RachelRichards really where did you get that he learned his lesson? He prob assumed pitbulls are aggressive or something
Your friend will be next one day
@@stonnergaming420 - You sound defensive over him mentioning a pitbull. Why? I'm honestly wondering.
Posture and eye contact sure does matter. Even with non-humans on occasion. This one time I was walking a pack of dogs down the street when I felt someone quickly approaching from behind. You know that sensation when someone really has it in for you. So I turned around, steel-faced, and the bastard stopped mid-air about an arms lenght away, flapping his wings and staring at me as if he was shocked that I didn't run. As most typically do when seagulls attack. After an awkward moment he landed on the ground next to us in defeat and I casually walked away.
It's unbelievable how many people don't know these things. My brother and I grew up in a hard neighborhood and we used to point these things out when we went to a nice part of town to shop or visit friends. Some people are truly clueless and are never exposed to violence. I refuse to wear flipflops to this day Incase I have to fight or run. This blows my wife's mind lol.
I wore clogs in a bad area once, they went "wtf are those" but still left me alone
Flip flops are dumb no matter where you live. Two people I know got seriously injured from them.
you can wear the flops when with your wife as she likely won't run or is too slow. that being said, depending on your relationship, you could also wear the shoes and just run lol
Although I run, climb and jump very well barefoot and flops are great to slap the SHIT out of someone 😆
Not everyone had to grow up in a trashy neighborhood / city. And I say this as someone who grew up in a trashy neighborhood / city. So it is understandable many don't know how to minimize the chances of being robbed (or worse).
The last time Jocko was mistaken for a victim was in Ramadi, and those folks won’t be bothering anyone else ever again.
Okay, I laughed!
It is coincidental that there also not many left to tell the story
Ahahahah
😂
😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣
I lived with a partner who had a mastiff who rarely barked but when he did it was a low level woof and to knew it was a warning to the person who caused the woof. Visitors could come in and he was well behaved. Once while my partner was on a trip an associate of his called by claiming he needed to borrow a tool that my partner had said it ok. He stepped in the front door as and placed his hand on my shoulder and the dog jumped up putting a paw on each shoulder of the guy and he had the guy on the floor, all in a split second. Then he gave his low level woof inches from his face to warn him.
I called the dog off and told him he needed to go.
I believe the dog was more aware than me and saved me from some sort of attack. The guy was big and had acted in a slightly dominant way. I never saw him again. My partner also never mixed with him again either.
That's awesome!
My friend said that she would always attract creepy strangers - nothing outright dangerous, but lewd comments, men exposing themselves. She always felt embarrassed and powerless until one day she built up the confidence to stand up to one such guy and he just left. More interestingly, no one ever bothered her in this way anymore. The point being, she always said that it's true that they can 'smell' the victim, the shy and scared one.
There's truth to that. If you're afraid you are probably in danger.
yeah and some womens ar ebizarre and enjoy being victims. trust me ive seen it in friends.
Lot of women enjoy that, thing is they want it in bed, and only there unable to differ when this is hurting them. @@IhaytFukkingsocialmedia
"Don't look like meat, don't get eat"
A quote from my LEO father decades ago, it has served me well!
what is LEO father?
@@RB-mm7ce Law Enforcement Officer
@@RB-mm7ce Law Enforcement Officer
LEOnardo dicapro father
@@RB-mm7ce His Zodiac sign! 😁
What a world to be in. At the same time we have amazing achievements in science, arts, culture and we can't safely walk any way we want on street
So true
Always has been, always will be
See how Lennon died
As a petite female who does things alone - my advice is Walk with a Purpose, walk tall, and be looking around, don’t look paranoid - but if someone was to observe you - they would notice that you scan your surrounding and are evaluating the people around you. But you do so with calmness and smoothness. You are not a lame duck, you are in control of your situation and you spot trouble long before trouble spots you.
If a goon looks at you, give him a non-confrontational, “dead” look. He knows you see him and you are not intimidated, but you are not challenging him either. I do this all the time, and they don’t know what to make of me, but I show confidence, and I am more prepared than they are.
The other thing is, if for some reason they decide to try you, and you decide to fight back, hit them hard and fast. Knives for the purpose of self defence are illegal. If you carry a knife, I’m sure your excuse, if needed, is that you carry it for “utility” use only.
In the words of a tumblr post, wear good shoes and walk like you're on your way to murder Captain America
No headphones
nothing legal here in the UK.
I'd be buggered to be honest
Yeah, or a gun if legal where you are. Works better than a knife since you don't have to be near them to use it.
@@jenx5870 yup. Just recently got a sig and I love it. I'm no longer worried about the crackheads in my backyard. They don't even wonder back there anymore after Poppin that off a few times
I was trained by being bullied a lot as a kid. I now walk with a look on my face like I'm looking for an excuse to beat the living shit out of someone. Seems to work.
LOL I get that look, too. And I'm a woman! Works for me 🤣
💯
People tell me my default expression is intimidating, I think it does help
This is what I do !!! I act like I just caught my man cheating lol
Amen baby
It always surprises me how people look very little around compared to me. A colleague caught me on camera as I was crossing a road. I looked in 5 different places in 10 meters. The other 5 guys just walked across, eyes straight ahead, like they had absolute faith all cars will follow traffic rules. And on the street as well, everybody eyes front, don't look around, nothing interesting happening. I look around all the time, absorbing every detail. But then again, I do have ADHD 🙂
ADHD is a warrior’s talent!
When I was in kindergarten, teacher said look both ways before crossing the street. As a kid, it was I do as I’m told. Now at 26, it became habit
People in the streets here are all looking down at phones. They are hypnotized by bullshit.
@@dave2808 Simple habit (going through the motions) is useless, the whole point of looking is to consciously and purposefully identify problems.
Same here with ADHD. Though I also look around all the time, I slant my eyes and hold my head still so it appears as if I'm looking straight
I saw this young guy, around 17 walking near my place of work and he had the most awkward gate, he walked about 30% faster than normal but he took these huge steps, like he was forcibly taking the largest possible stride he could physically manage. It looked so awkward and the first though that came to my mind was 'what a self conscious nerdy idiot' and I'm a nerd myself, he may have been the nicest guy but I can see how the way somone walks makes a big impression on other people
It stood out
I fell off a roof 16years ago (Permanent spinal cord injury), after a year and a half of physical therapy was walking with a cane instead of a walker or wheelchair. I was walking downtown at night to get back to my car and spotted a drunk and possibly disturbed person making a bee line for me. Now I don't know how obvious this is, but crippled people are typically always caring pain killers yeah, the good kind. I quit all that a long time ago but as this guy got closer I turned and told him that I don't want to be beaten to death for pills and I'm armed and if you don't leave, I'm going to defend myself.
BTW: I love your inspirational Podcasts, it helps me "Embrace the Suck" 52 yrs old, 5 months Divorced, 2 months ago I been diagnosed with Leukemia, if I get past this Chemo bombardment, I have this warped idea to try BJJ . I had several years of Kung Fu 30 years ago . Did my first Desert Race on a ATV 3-4 months ago......getting after it.
I have trained with people who had physical limitations your partners should take your limitations into consideration
@@Fatelvis2 Indeed, it's never too late to train a martial art, just know your body's limits and don't push them to the point of injury, solid training partners help ALOT.
Your fortitude inspires me at a needed moment
dude, you need to ping us when you are out of your chemo. even if you dont believe it, you are not alone my friend.
Look into a naturopathic oncologist, adjunct for co ventipnal treatment
I had a friend who lived in a rough part of NYC (this was over 15 years ago). She would sprint home as soon as she got off the subway train. Apparently it worked, no one ever bothered her.
Pathetic
i've been sayin for years "you are either predator or prey" decide how you want to be.
Side notes:
-Walking ever so slightly slower then everyone is also good, not extremely slow, just ever so slightly, it makes you look smooth, deliberate and controlled. In reality, the key is Do Not drag your feet, step with purpose, step with the heel.
-Any burglar worth their weight in stolen goods will have a "pet kit" in which they keep various treats for pets that may happen to be home, a nice chunk of jerky or some sandwich meats will make even the most angry brute friendly.
Lastly, follow the "Rule of Stupid"
dont be....
Stupid places,
at Stupid times,
doing Stupid things,
with Stupid people.
That’s a stupid way to think. There’s a lot of room inbetween both the predator and the prey.
I’m a sheep dog.
You watch too much ASP.
You can tell how animalistic and strong someone is by their walk. Putin is a good example of this when he walks next to diplomats. If you can see someone before they see you and they catch that you already watching them, they will probably be sense your awareness and know that they don't have the advantage. Jocko mentions this at 7:41.
@@mr.g816 Which makes it even more awesome when Trump basically arm dragged Putin into a handshake. They're both alphas, but I thought that little subtle dominance display was pretty funny.
Walk like you're stepping on the world runway and when your eyes make contact, stare through their soul. Can't tell you how many people get scared of a WALK or have a moment of infatuation. For the record I'm petite AND short. You're much more powerful than you realize!
I was grabbed and assaulted as I was getting home in my first night out when the lockdown was lifted.
By two people in an unprovoked attack by two absolute scumbags.
I ended up in hospital. They didn’t even mug me, they were just out to hurt people.
I can hand on heart say should anyone ever to to hurt me again I’ve 18 months of ptsd that I’ll gladly take out on them.
The rage in me to hurt someone who utterly deserves it is off the scale.
Being caught unawares and put in hospital was a horrendous trauma to go through.
But it changed me. It improved me.
I don’t slouch, or dawdle along, I don’t walk with music on or distracted on my phone, or take risks with shortcuts putting my safety in danger.
The awareness you get once you’ve been through something traumatic about how you carry yourself, can have you not recognising the previous you at all!
My ten pound dog isnt a guard dog, he's an alarm dog. The guy with the 12 gauge under his bed is the actual guard dog
There are any number of dog breeds that tend to not bark, but are bad news to bad guys with bad intentions. We've owned, at the same time, Rottweilers and Pomeranians for over 30 years. For us, it's like a hunter-killer team. Both dogs are indoor dogs exclusively. The Pom hears everything and is the alarm. The Rott, a breed not known for barking, has the natural ability to switch from 50 + kilos of couch potato to gladiator mode in a blink of an eye. For us, it's been a great combination.
I used to live in West Hollywood and my job was walking distance. Even though I always work early hours, one day I work a late shift. Not supe late it was still light day and there was so many people around eating outside restaurants and walking around. However I got target by someone with a gun and they hit me in the face and took my bag.
I always go back to that moment and realized what I did wrong and why they target me.
I have bad posture and I also was talking on my phone and because it was later in the day and I was not used to I was probably walking looking afraid. I obviously learned a big lesson and now I constantly look around and make sure I know my surroundings, no matter if there’s people outside or is day time. Take care of your self
"What I did wrong." You really did nothing wrong, nor have anything to feel bad about, but I understand what you mean. But, realistically the one who did wrong was the deg3nerate who hit and robbed you.
I remember seeing one of those interviews with a burglar on how to avoid making yourself an easy target, and they heavily cautioned against relying on a dog as the primary or sole form of burglary prevention since the number one thing a burglar looks for when casing a house is whether or not the owner is home, and a dog's behavior can actually be a good way for them to determine if someone's home or not.
I'm no tough guy, just an aging former Infantryman who hasn't always made the best choices. I keep my head on a pivot, walk with a sense of purpose, and try to avoid putting myself in certain situations these days. At least three times I've used a firearm (or the illusion of one) to deter potential attackers. In the mid-'90s I was sitting in my car waiting for someone when I noticed two guys walking up the sidewalk and eying my car. As they got closer they split up and approached either side, so I grabbed the shotgun I kept at the time. They got pretty close to my doors, saw the gun, and kept walking. A few months later I was lured to a "friend's" house where my car was almost immediately blocked in. A bunch of people came out of the cars and house, so I called the "friend" over, showing them my MAK-90 and telling them I didn't know what was going on but that I was ready, racking the bolt with an empty mag in (a couple of loaded ones were next to me). The "friend" announced that I had a gun, everyone disappeared and cars drove off, and I left without further incident. I was a dumb kid that didn't take into account potential civil or criminal liability at the time. Years later, I was walking in a city when I noticed someone following me. I moved my hand towards my waistline like I was carrying, and moved to the other side of the street. Nothing happened, and maybe I was just being paranoid, but the funny/sad thing was I wasn't carrying that time, as I kept my .357 in the truck.
I have a couple of dogs. The older one weighs about 100 lbs and has a raspy scary bark; he's a Black Lab and for some reason black dogs seem to scare people more. The other is a 50 pound Mountain Cur who is naturally loud and seems aggressive. I like knowing that they will alert me to anything out of the ordinary, especially the Cur that likes to just stare out the windows looking for something hunt-worthy.
All that said, we can all get too comfortable. Prior to my Afghanistan deployment, I lived in a remote area just north of the Fort Stewart training area. I used to put the Lab in his carrier and haul him around in the bed of the truck, where he'd bark at anything he saw moving. So, my truck and dog were probably well known by the spread out neighbors. I went out of town a little over a month before deploying, forgetting my .357 and deciding not to add an hour by going back and retrieving it. Unbeknownst to me, the military family at the front of the property was moving out, leaving both houses vacant for a few days. I got home and found the power was out and neighbors' home cleared out. Then I discovered my house had been burglarized with the .357 and a couple of other guns missing along with most of my tools, tv, and a lot of other stuff. Detectives later said it looked like someone had been keeping an eye on the house and made multiple trips while I was gone. Long story short, I'd grown complacent, leaving firearms out of the safe (which was undisturbed but probably would have been broken into or stolen if I were gone another day or two), and announcing to everyone around when I was going somewhere (through the dog barking) and what I drove. After a night parked in the woods with body armor and a few firearms hoping the thieves would come back, I started putting stuff in storage before boarding a flight to Kyrgyzstan three weeks later.
Situational awareness, body posture and movement, and overall demeanor are all deterrents to being targeted by a criminal, in my opinion. Dogs and other visual or audible deterrents such as cameras or alarms can help when at home, but in the end we have to rely on ourselves.
Oh, and the burglar was caught, having cut himself breaking a window. He was a convicted felon who lived less than a mile away, and spent a whopping two years or so in prison for stealing over $10k worth of stuff to sell for cocaine.
You keep a shotgun just laying around in your car?
@@WhatsEvenRealAnymore It's pretty common where I live.
What the heck? Who was this "friend" and how did you meet them?
Thanks for your service and your post.
I hope you got your guns back. Thank you for your service.
This made me think of gazelles on the savanna. When chased by a predator, we’ve found that those who engage in “stotting”, which is when a gazelle seemingly jumps in the air pointlessly while being chased is a signal to predators that they have excess energy and coordination so attackers should go after one who isn’t displaying the activity. It’s been shown these animals are less likely to be successfully preyed upon
Makes sense. The “you’re going to work harder than you want to” defense. Works for me too.
My ex used to make fun of me for walking “assertively” and slightly faster than he would naturally walk but he’s six feet tall and I’m 5’6 and skinny. I consciously DESIGNED the way I walk based on how often I would get catcalled. If I got catcalled I would adjust my walk and now I’ve got the sweet spot and it works for me. Not perfectly, because women are always targets, but it works most of the time. I also watch myself walking in windows if I’m downtown that way I can see alllll the way around me. My back, my front, and my side. If someone starts following me I start “casually” and confidently swinging my key lanyard, there are a lot of keys on there and it’s heavy, that gives me at least 4 or 5 feet around me that nobody is going to want to get near.
keys are not a deterrent
Sounds like good reason he's an ex!
Relax not every man that walks behind you is trying to hurt you ... 99% of the time there just going the same direction and feel more anxious than you do because they probably are thinking you think their stalking you and don't want to make you uncomfortable or the situation creepy or awkward. Just a heads up.
@@Floatup Someone who has been r*ped sees *every* man as a threat due to the trauma. At least for a while afterwards. Telling someone to "relax" is extremely tone deaf. I do the same thing she does (with exception of swinging my keys; I don't want to give anyone anything to grab hold of and yank me towards them). But I _do_ use windows and mirrors to my advantage to see behind and around me.
@@Floatup No, but if you had a bag of gummy bears and one was lethal, but you didn't know which one, you'd be suspicious of all of them and rightly so.
Hehe, I walked like this during my 20s when I lived in a rough area surrounded by predatory men who routinely sexually harassed and threatened women and where friends of mine routinely got mugged. I am a fairly small person and normally kind of awkward and unsure in how I carry myself, but I instinctively snapped into a confidence walk and countenance when I was walking there alone at night. Forceful strides and making eye contact with and nodding at everyone I passed, like "I see you. I'm not afraid of you." I didn't swing my arms, though. Instead I had them in my pockets to give the illusion that I might have a weapon I was hiding. Thankfully, nothing happened to me. Not sure if I was just lucky or if my "don't look like a victim" instincts saved me at some point.
Growing up, my close friend had a german shepherd named Cody that typically stayed in their backyard. This dog was so cool. When my friend or his family was home you could walk up to the gate, pest Cody, and open the gate and freely go into the backyard. If they wasn't home. You could walk up to the fence, reach over the fence and pet Cody and everything would be just as cool as ever. The moment you reached down to unlatch the fence to walk into the backyard and Cody would immediately start growling at you. So you stop acknowledge Cody, reach back over the fence and pet him tell him "its ok, Cody its just me" and he would be the same ole loving Cody. The moment you reached down to unlatch the fence to walk into back yard Cody would start growling at you. You could go through that process over and over again. Reach over the fence, pet Cody and he'd be cool as ever, try to open the fence and he was start growling again, repeat, repeat. If they wasn't home there wasn't a chance in hell you was going to walk into that backyard. Eventually, Cody accepted me and he did eventually start letting me walk in the back yard if they wasn't home but our other friend that Cody knew long than he knew me was never accepted like that. There was only a very small select few of us that could walk into the backyard without getting attacked, if they wasn't home.
Getting mugged by a group at gunpoint made me rethink everything about how I carry myself. For better and for worse.
I live in Savage City. Every time I walk out of my house I wear an entirely different face and body language until I return. It's almost 2023 and even with all the horrendous crimes against humanity and there's still this overall
unconsciousness,lack of awareness and ignorance about situational awareness. I am astounded by the level of obliviosness and especially among young men,women and children. Thanks for putting this out there and having their backs.
there's an actual city called "savage"?
@@groovy3443 i.e the topic and content of JW cast here... Those in the know know my city...the city that shall not be named.
@@groovy3443 Savage is a suburban city 15 miles south-southwest of downtown Minneapolis in Scott County in the U.S. state of Minnesota.
True.
I see it all the time. Glued to the phone with headphones on.
Perfect targets for an ambush.
Fax, I have never heard anyone talk about this EVER.
I always read that you should walk with confidence and walk with purpose. Know where you are going and take confident steps in that direction.
I suppose it makes sense. It’s a message of “I have somewhere to be, possibly on time, and I’m determined to get there. And if I don’t, people will start to look for me very soon.” That would probably translate further as “I’ll fight back and I’ll do everything humanly possible to stop you, and even if you succeed, I’ll be missed soon and people will be on your trail quickly.”
I give them the even if you succeed, and I am silenced, there will be a mountain of evidence and I’m assuming your DNA is already in the database look.
My old hood had a subway stop that in one direction fed out onto a small back street lined on one side with a railway track and a thicket of trees where all sorts of dodgy stuff would go down. The other side was yards with fences, nobody coming or going. Perfect setup to get jacked.
The number of people I saw walk out of the station in the winter with their hood up, headphones on staring at their phone was astounding. They were just asking to get jumped. And routinely they did, which would cue the same questions about "why don't the cops do something."
Well, why don't YOU do a couple of things: headphones off so you can hear, hood down so you can see, and phone away so you can pay attention. And if you can't handle yourself, go round the block where there's traffic and late night stores and people around. Bascially, stop being an idiot.
I'm aboth a retired US Army NCO and LEO, and every bad guy that I arrested told had me that I looked that I was ready to fight. I avoided a lot of bad situations just by my demeanor and that was told to me by a lot of bad guys... Like you said, if you look that you are squared away, bad guys will look for another and easier victim! that's one I thank the Army, it taught me how to walk, dress and conduct when addressing people!
I’m a tiny female and I always say that I need to nip it in the bud before it even gets started. I don’t care how much training you have. I know I’d be done for if a big guy attacked me so I try to make it obvious that he wouldn’t be getting away scot free. If I look like an easy mark, I’ll be one.
Training your dog is a must. My dog alerts when outside whether I’m home or not. She actually alerts more when I’m home. When she’s inside, she follows me everywhere. She will quietly move to the front door or any other door & listens when she thinks she hears something. She’s ready. Planning on getting more German Shepards because the relationship is so beneficial for my family.
i always like listening to jocko talk about these topics because i've personally always been the kind of person to notice how my physical appearance in the world dictates how people will interact with me. im only 23, but even since i was 15 or 16 in high school i always had thoughts like "dont walk this way, keep your head up at all times. dont say anything that would make you come off as weak"
i always thought i was overthinking things like that, like "who is really noticing all these small details?" but as i got older, i quickly realized that the way you physically carry yourself in life is EQUALLY if not more important than how you verbally interact with others. your physical actions set the 'tone' for how people will interact with you in the first place. also, me being a skinny dude i always felt like i had to have that rough outer shell to protect me from the bigger dudes who might try to press me. i went through all of high school without a single person saying the rude shit they thought about me to my face, and while it hurt, it also made me realize that without my outer shell i would have been swallowed alive by dudes that had more physical prowess than i did. even the biggest of men are fearful of things they cant predict, and i've spent what seems like my whole adult life doing what i can to be seen as unpredictable by people i dont closely associate with. and its worked so far. i call it the "porcupine" method, grant the illusion of superior force even if you dont truly possess it.
How did you make yourself unpredictable?
You survived by using your brains!
Reminds me of a “tamed” lion that you should never turn your back on and run from since it will see you as prey and not help but pounce. Like acting or looking a certain way makes predatory mindsets instinctively want to attack
A buddy of mine had a French mastiff. Never barked. When you went to his door, Brutus would come and just look at you with 1 lower tooth sticking up. Dog was at least 150lbs. You’d have to be nuts to try and go in
A buddy of mine had a bigger dog than the buddy of yours. And he actually liked nuts when they went in. Was at least 350lbs.
🤣🤣🤣
@@MealTeam6 A buddy of mine had a bigger dog than that. 650 lbs at least. They had to have their floor reinforced in his favorite sleeping spot, because it would crack the floor when he flopped his body down.
I have asian shepherds as my guard dog and at night a person/s would have to break into the property to be confronted by them.
They are extremely well trained dogs that will make an enormous noise if there ever was an intruder.
bruh.. a dog weights more than me
This was SO interesting. Much appreciated. Women never get this information and we all need it!
Another thing predatory people look for is , curled in shoulders. This could indicate low self worth, or even past trauma! People with PTSD breathe slightly differently actually. We are, "neck breathers" as I've been told. We unconsciously breathe shallow breaths and sometimes our posture supports this. Remember! Shoulders back. Belly breaths. 🖤
I agree 👏🏻
Slight correction: The shoulders often round and the head will slightly go forward if the person sits a lot at a desk and works on a computer. The neck often goes forward with people who look down at their cell phones, reads a news paper or is an avid bicyclist.
My daughter is a massage therapist and she watches the way people carry themselves and walk. She pointed this out to me because of my job which requires hours of sitting at a computer. She gave me exercise to correct my posture.
sorry if you didn't get this tips as woman but as a low middle class woman I did lol
You have to learn things yourself. People don't just give all the info to you. Goes for everything. Do your research. Gtta do your research on street smarts. Just like the b.s. Text books in school. There's alot noone wants you to know.
I mean... If you don't have to learn on the job like I did.
If you ever spend time in a “un-safe” neighborhood, you learn to do all these things naturally. I think I learned it from seeing every single person carry themselves similarly: looking around, making eye contact, walking confidently. I had a high school friend who lived in a sketchy part of the city, and I’m really grateful he invited me over so much. Years later I got off the wrong subway stop in Atlanta, I just knew when I got up to street level. I was rolling around with my carry-on luggage and some dudes straight up laughed at me. I wouldn’t recommend it, but I felt pretty comfortable with the situation. I’ve been in my share of un-safe situations and never had a problem, fortunately. Best to avoid them, but good to have situational awareness.
Reminds me of when I was traveling through Mexico with friends. The little old grandmother type and I were window shopping in Acapulco during the day and, being trained in martial arts, I noticed a guy that had his sights on her purse. She had flung it behind her back so she could get closer to the window. I watched him in the window reflection as he crept up. I turned around and took up a defensive position, blocking her and her purse. As we exchanged glances, he got the message and quickly turned around and left. Now that I'm older and somewhat decrepit myself, I still have no fear of being attacked...adrenaline can allow the body to do amazing things and my body remembers my training. What cracks me up is that people that don't know me think I'm 6 ft tall but I'm actually 5'2"...I call that the Aura of Don't F with me. 🤣
I thought you sounded taller by your comment! Ha ha ha, I know what you're saying, I'm just about the same. I'm 5'6" to some, to many others I'm about 6' even.
@@skindianu As someone who has scared strong men just by looking at them, I can tell you that when we stand in our Essence (Spirit) there is NOTHING that can best us. Well, that and the look of "crazy as f and ready to do anything it takes". 🤣🤣🤣
@@DrValerie800 I'm always ready
Bruh I'm Mexican american and Mexico is already a wild place to begin with
Mum always said walk with confidence and keep an eye watching and a ear listening. When I see people looking at their phones and walking I just think easy target, not that I'm a predator 😅 I just learnt to know my surroundings. So many people have no idea where they are because they look at a screen constantly. Stay safe 🙏🏽 I live in a decent area in South Australia and we still have people that streak or touching themselves in their car in day 🤦🏽♀️
The things that you’re talking about right now, actually changed automatically for me since I’ve adopted a growth mind set and escaped my depression. I honestly just think that these movements indicate how the wellbeing of a person is.
This boils down to swagger and how you handle yourself uncomfortable situations that's why athletes and military people aren't normally targets
I walked to school and work most of my life, about a 3-5 mile walk. I started taking the train to Los Angeles which was about 2 hour ride, and I knew I had to change my posture when riding and waiting at the station.
I’ve always been outwardly shy, and I’m still surprised that no one has even attempted to kidnap me or talk to me, but very grateful.
The ultimate "walk with a purpose" strategies.
I think the most important is eye contact . Avoiding eye contact means you’re nervous or non confrontational . Big mistake . Glance at everyone , not starring but recognize them so they know you see them
I walk in hoods all the time that white people on the internet say is dangerous, and I disagree. Keep your eyes to yourself, don't look curious and like you're scouting around, be aware of your surroundings but don't initiate eye contact. Make clear that you're not a threat or an op, just a person trying to get somewhere
@@nile7999 wearing hoods indoors is weird. Thats what the autistic/weird kids did in highschool. Kinda seems like youre hiding.
Use eye contact like Robert Pattinson from Batman 😂😂
Not really. Eye contact in any dodgy place is a sign of a challenge, they will take it as you want to fight them. Best to keep your eyes focused straight ahead, confident look with quick spot checks and NEVER be looking down or glued to your phone.
@@nile7999 yes . hence the quick glancing not starring
I really appreciate when walking at night, and I see a guy walking towards me, that he will cross the road. Some men understand how threatened a woman feels walking alone at night.
Once heard a saying - when men go out they are concerned with being insulted. When a woman goes out they are concerned that they may get raped or murdered. Big difference. 😢
tbh I think men are at least concerned about being physically attacked. I wouldn't underestimate that. (source: have been attacked a few times, threatened more times than I care to think about).
Yes, because no man has ever been raped or murdered. Except the ones who have been. I have been sexually abused as a child-teen, then raped as a teen and almost murdered when I ran away from home. Funny thing, I never worry about being raped or murdered when I leave the house. I do have PTSD from childhood and from an abusive relationship. I don't use it as an excuse to hate on all men and say they're all bad. Nor do I use it as an excuse to say all women are victims. There are plenty of crimes perpetrated against men. If you are constantly afraid when you leave the house you're living life wrong. Get therapy and get on meds for your anxiety. Toughen up. Get a CCW. Loads of women leave the house without worry everyday, you're being melodramatic and sexist. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I can't stand this womanhood victim mentality thing we have going on now.
Men also have to worry about other men as predators. They also get mugged, raped, kidnapped, trafficked, murdered.
@@jenx5870 I was a victim, I’m not afraid and I’m not sexist.
@@chrisamies2141true. I am less concerned but worried at certain times. I think the fact most attacks are on women has a sexual component to it. So as a male I feel a lot more certain I won't be targeted as I'm Male and men are not typically attacked for that reason. I know this isn't always true. I do avoid groups of men or teenage boys though. Primarily as when men are attacked it is by groups of men or teenage boys. Women on the other hand tend to be attacked by single men too.
My natural reaction as a 5,9 woman is a fight response. I once pulled a junk of a girl he attacked. Just not being afraid and feel sorry for the person that will even try also helps a lot. People sense it when you're not afraid and have a little craziness inside you once attacked.
Weakness. When you FEEL weak or insecure, you will more likely be targeted. The difference between the respect you get when you are fit, strong and you KNOW that you are ready, able and willing to go at any moment, compared to when you have recently been sick, or are depressed, that difference is huge.
That’s why it’s important to appear weak when you are strong and strong when you are actually weak.
I'm depressed but people never know until I say it. People always say u can't be that sad looking this good. Just stupid
What if you feel not "weak", but just indifferent? Some months ago I was into a phase where I was quite literally fearless, not in a heroic or "though" sense, just did not care emotionally even when I thought I was in acute life threatening danger. (I was not suicidal either)
Before that I had worried a lot and deeply about the Ukraine war and whether it would escalate to a world war. And I think I just used up the ability to feel afraid (lasted at least a few weeks, but went back to normal), I also felt kind of like some of my overall vitality was lost as well and no longer felt excited eg. when greeting or playing with our (my moms) dogs. And I didn't even feel physical pain the normal way, like getting vigorously scratched by our dog and it leaving visible marks, used to cause rather intense pain but back then it caused none at all
I wonder if others have also "used up" the ability to be afraid
Yeah. Predators can tell.
This made me feel so much better about myself... how I walk & move. I've seen people size me up & change their mind. Thanks, Men!
i'm 5'3" and at the time was 130 lbs. i used to leave the house early for work. early mornings are pretty dark in the winter at 6am and i'd usually be out walking into town down a long isolated stretch of the main road to get the bus anywhere between 5:30 - 6:00 AM. i experienced many incidents during those days. i will recount 2. there was a cement and crushed stone yard along the way. one morning there was a group of young guys gathered out by the side walk, maybe for day work. i caught the attention of one in particular. he was very aggressive towards me and he came up in my face with no more than 5 inches between us. i was terrified. i knew what could have happened and how young guys could behave in a group. at first i took a few steps back then i stood my ground. my face went red, and i wanted to cry but didn't. i was glaring at him while he sneered at me laughing in my face. my response to each nasty thing he said was to step aside so i could get to work. finally he did as a few of the guys told him to leave me alone. there was a trailer on the property where a dog was kept. that morning i stopped as i normally did to say good morning to him and pet him. the guy saw this and made more nasty remarks. several weeks later the dog was found dead.
another winter morning on that same stretch of road some guy pulled up alongside me as i walked and asked if i wanted a ride. i said, "no, thank you but thanks anyway!". he tried to persuade me to get in his car. i refused. he got angry, i got annoyed. he insisted, i got loud. he demanded and i got nasty. mind you, i did not stop walking all during this. it was dark, it was cold - i hate winter - and now i'm cold and annoyed! he revved his engine, took off but stopped maybe 20 feet ahead of me, waited for me to catch up to the car, and demanded that i get in the car. i truly thought that he was going to try to get out and force me to get in! so there was hyper vigilance mixed with more annoyance and i said so all and sundry could have heard me, '**** you!!! who the **** are you!?! you asked me once, i was polite, now you're pissing me off (and thinking 'scaring the snot out of me'). what don't you understand? i said "no" !!! now, please leave me alone! and he drove off without another word. i truly thought that he was going to double back and follow me but he didn't.
I have 4 huskies and 1 lab. A lot of people are scared of them for some reason. They’re sweet as can be, but they bark at outsiders, my huskies don’t bark nearly as much as the lab but they are definitely a deterrent, being a bunch of pretty big dogs waiting for you. As a female with anxiety, I really only feel safe with my dogs.
I like the words from Active Self Protection on UA-cam: "Don't go to stupid places at stupid times and do stupid things." Prevention starts early!
Exactly. Nobody fights fair bro. They might tell you they will. But, more than likely they will attempt to grab you and take the shortcut route😂
Learn self-defence: boxing, judo, bjj, krav maga, wrestling, anything to help get out of a bad situation!
Agreed. 6 years serious competition bjj and Muay Thai for 5 years, im never really nervous and even in a dangerous situation I'm more thinking than feeling a type of way. It allows you to unplug from your emotions and use your mind to control your body under stress. I've never felt threatened since I started
And it gives you that subconscious confidence of having a fighter's chance so you'll naturally walk with confidence
This is very good advice also for guys being in a bar or a club, or in an airport / on an airplane.. or other sensitive places where looking odd could get you unwanted hostile attention from police, TSA, bouncers, or flight attendants.
I've learned this the hard way. Many years ago I was on a connecting flight in Las Vegas to Los Angeles, and I was running through the airport with heavy boots on, wearing my winter jacket and carrying my carry on luggage.. all because they gave me hardly any time to get to the plane and it was on the other side of the airport..
When I board the plane they tell you that you can sit wherever you want so I sat down in one seat and then I changed my mind, got up and I moved to another seat.. Just that simple thing of appearing like I was confused.. I was feeling queasy.. probably because of running across the entire airport .. I was sweating .. and because of this, the flight attendants would not let me fly on the plane. I went to the terminal desk. No go. They just said that they can't let me on the plane because I was exhibiting weird behavior and I was sweating.
Of course by this time I felt fine.. No longer queasy, I stopped sweating after I took my jacket off but I had to stay at a hotel in Vegas and catch another flight the next day.
When I say I felt fine I meant I went to the casino and had a great night.. Didn't get in trouble with anyone there.. at all..
You really have to look well put together and like you know what you're doing in sensitive areas or people will think you look suspicious.
When l was flying international to go to my 12 yo nephews funeral, 2 friends walked me round and around the airport until flight time, so l was the only one stopped and rescanned and asked what was the purpose of my travel? All l said was said was "my nephew's funeral" immediately then they waved me thru, any unusual behaviour, no matter how harmless, triggers them.
How is being sweaty a reason to refuse you your seat? Every story of the US I hear is so crazy
I feel I spent 1 extra second looking at cop in an airport which had him call me over and inspect my passport
@@issecret1 Anxiety.
l was going to a funeral and was profiled, it wasn't just sweating in his case, it was also switching seats, maybe his size, his boots? lt's not an exact science but if you work in any kind of security you will realise that most ppl act exactly the same herd like, so they look for tiny tells of difference.
This is security anywhere not just American - l'm not from there.
Also most ppl walk around in a light trance, l am very focussed very purposeful, coincidentally so are criminals doing crime, so l get followed often. 😂
@@fiftyshadesofurban That was the takeaway from the film "Catch me if you can, breezy CONfidence"
But poorly trained security guards just go off 1 tell rather than a cluster. I'm not a herd member either, but l have dependants l have to wing.The trouble is, people are so" domesticated" they don't get spooked and run, but they still give out subtle stress tells like eating more over the long term, (used to be looking pointedly away FROM danger) or these days most likely filming it on their phones to get posthumous? clout.
C The experience can be summed up as like taking a short cut through a field, of cows, to be greeted by a semi circle of fixed staring with ceaseless chewing.
That’s why I observe my surroundings before I go out. Any building I walk into I’m always looking out, putting myself in a corner where I can see a huge chunk of the building. I walk at a steady pace, not low energy or high energy. I have headphones in, but I don’t make them so loud that I cancel the noise around me, and often times, I’ll only have one headphone in.
99% of the time, I’ll have a knife on me, either in my pocket, or hidden in a knee brace that’s up to my quads(I’m wearing shorts most of the time.
I’ve had my bike robbed plenty of times and I’ve known some really deranged people around these parts.
I'm a super skinny girl, maybe 110 lbs. And in Boston, for whatever reason I get mistaken for a man 90% of the time when I'm out walking. I guess that helps?
A security guard told me once that talking on the phone, or pretending to, decreases the risk of getting mugged by like, 80% or something crazy.
So sometimes I call people if I'm in a sketchy place. Adding all these notes of noticing people, staying aware, and how you walk is bomb.
If a thug wants to rob a phone they will do so even if a person is on it. Best approach is to try and not be walking on your own at night. If that is not an option concealed carry would be a last line of defence or even a taser/pepper spray.
If somebody is walking near you putting your hand inside a jacket or pocket in an exaggerated manner can sell the idea that you are carrying. And if you are really suspicious of a man following you putting your hand inside your jacket and standing aside can really send the signal that you could just about do anything.
One of the most important things a person can sell is alertness. Letting people know that you are sharp and on the ball at all time. Just do not be stressed the whole time though as it is just a look you are trying to sell.
I did the same thing whenever I was being followed in a store by a guy (no shopping cart or basket and no name tag) and was talking to my mom loudly while staring at the guy and moving from aisle to aisle. He got the picture and left the store.
My mom had the audacity to tell me that he probably was shy and didn’t know how to approach me 🙄 Being a nice girl to a stranger (heck, even a toxic friend or relative) can get you hurt or killed nowadays.
@@ellenscofield5632 why would anyone 'approach' someone in a store? Sounds weird to me.
@@chrisamies2141 They do it all the time these days. Walmart is notorious for all kinds of stuff. Look at youtube videos. That's where I learned about it.
This information is all dead on!! I already became aware of this as a teenager in the UK. I went to live in South Spain and saw first hand how a lot of this is applicable.
It's hard to explain to people how you should walk down the street to discourage bullies/problems. And not attract the wrong kind of attention. I started doing these things subconsciously I think. But in recent years have made many mental notes.
Thanks for talking about this because this is some basic self preservation know how everyone needs to know
The slow walking aint always weak looking, if someone walks slowly it can also look confident. I'd say walking faster might look more like you are scared and in hurry. But mostly it depends how you carry yourself, not how fast you walk
I'm naturally a fast walker but l also "glide" think, economy of movement, like a big cat. So l have never had trouble outside, in my life ever, not even in the roughest spots, even have got out of trouble when walking with "natural targets" with no situational awareness, you have 2 unpredictable sources of trouble in that scenario, you have to be super smooth.
Inside a building is a whole different ballgame, there l try to use proximal awareness, but sometimes you can get in a tight spot so the pre-fight is actually more of a challenge, if they control the exit(s) they can take their sweet time.
I'm small but many times I've felt someone has thought about mugging/attacking me and I see them pull back at the last minute.I do project some very dark thoughts sometimes.
My dachshund straight up squared off with a doberman, that little dude is insane and has no fear, I'd trust him to alert me or even defend the house
Thanks for this very interesting post. You’re right to say that it depends of the dog ; we had a big male boxer of 45kg & one day, when we were away, thieves broke into our garage. When we came back, we saw that they had simply put the dog outside, in the garden, to be able to “work” in peace (fortunately, they couldn’t come inside the house itself). The dog must have thought that they were friends of ours or something …
I was doing this without thinking about it, living in a dangerous area in a big city as a woman, I thought it was normal to be hyper-aware of my surroundings. Always catching if a certain person is watching carefully for too long or instilling my false confidence to appear less "vulnerable".
This guy just described my survival mode in New York City. Walk like you own the place, look at everything and everyone for the slightest bit of wrong in people places nature everything. Be ready for 💩 to hit the fan; exits, cars, weapons, human behavior shifts. Use your senses; look, hear, smell everything everywhere. It’s ingrained in me now it’s natural. I could be sitting at my porch and notice the birds aren’t chirping. It’s a blessing and a curse ❤
Someone was right behind me and I turned around and made brief eye contact with her. She was mentally unstable and took my glance at her as a threat, I guess. And she attacked me. I totally stand by the school of thought that sometimes people take eye contact as a threat....
I think eye contact with a stranger (where they dont immediately look away) feels threatening on a primal level, even if their expression isn't necessarily threatening on its own. But you will never have full control of what some crazy people do anyway, and someone crazy could have completely different "rules" than the rest
Jockos dog actually completed BUDS. Still holds the record for most pullups
Called pullpups ever since
…Bottom line, be ready and willing to become someone’s biggest nightmare if they decide to become a problem for you.
When I was a teenager , I weighed 105 pounds (ah, the glory days!) and I am 5 ft 2.
My stepmother used to tell me I walked like a football player. (I am sure if I wiggled my butt, that wouldn't have been acceptable either). My favorite seating position has always been in a corner of a room facing out, so I can see everything and everyone around me. ( Basically a lot of insecurity, and these traits helped make me feel more in control.) I always would look at someone for a few seconds if I felt them staring at me, just to act like their staring didn't bother me (even though it bothered me!) I am feeling kind of proud of myself right now!
In a nutshell…Be alert, stand tall, look confidant, don’t look distracted and BE READY.
My female GSD was so intimidating, she didn’t bark, but stood and looked. No one EVER got out of their car at my home without permission. She was like a mother to my babies and kids, but a fierce mother bear. Oh, and her bark was terrifying when she got to the point of showing teeth and doing what was necessary. I took her in my car everywhere, and she was well trained and off leash all the time. Peace loving, but so scary when necessary.
I was walking home in the dark and this guy appeared out of nowhere. Started following me. He was over 6ft. I stood squared ( having walk to the middle of the road) I had to confront him as I was not going to be able to run from him or fight him off. I shouted 'No. Do not approach people in the dark. Its socially in appropriate. Leave me alone.' . I am 5ft small women. I observed this body behaviour and language tone from a police women. ( they are trained to have presence)
Summed up, one word: Confidence.
Confident people do not make good victims