Hey Andy, I can tell you really want some emotional support from your parents but the truth is they might not ever be the way you want them to. It seems you get really caught up in this and it makes you sad. Try not to think about it so much. I’m in sort of the same boat. I struggle with social anxiety as well and my parents don’t seem to be 100% about what I really want to do. My best advice would be to find something you love and get good at it. The things you want will follow. Don’t forget to Focus on your happiness brother.
Hey thanks for reaching out and for the words of wisdom, I appreciate that. Sorry to hear you've dealt with social anxiety too, hopefully you've been powering through it!
Same here man, unsupportive parents, also no close friends either. Don't really care too much about my parents now. But what sucks for me is trying to cultivate some friendships and them turning out to be one-sided. Btw, your recent video has comments turned off, not sure if that was intentional.
Hey thanks for reaching out, I appreciate it! Yeah Ive come across the same thing too with one-sided relationships, that obviously doesn't help the situation any. But don't let tha stop you from putting yourself out there. The right people will come into and stay in your life man! Didn't mean to have the comments turned off on the recent video..but I went back and turned them on. Thanks for letting me know that though! 👍
Sorry Andy but I think you have to stop believing that your parents need to give you more emotional support and mentoring when you are 25. I left home at twenty, I have very bad social anxiety but being at home with 4 siblings was just too much and I needed some space to grow. Sure, it was ridiculously hard, I had a crap apartment, bills and could only just about support myself. It was very tough but worth it because I became independent and I was able look after myself. I worked and eventually got a better job, better home and eventually moved to Europe where I have a great life. My parents are nice enough but never have any real emotional support, I guess that is also how they were treated by their parents so they do not know any better. I am sometimes annoyed at my parents when I see how other parents act with their children, but I am also glad that they taught me to stand on my own two feet. It took a long time to realise my dreams but they happened and I did it all on my own. Be strong, have faith, do NOT go back and live with your parents. You do not need a mentor once you have left the nest you are on your own I am afraid, it does not make a difference if you have lots of friends for support…it helps a bit but you should be able to do it on your own. Sorry if this sounds blunt, I am a nice person really.
Andy, do you have any brothers or sisters that you can reach out to for help? Can see your pain in this video and can see you are hurting. Did you ever trying reaching out for some sort of therapy to help you deal with this. Andy you speak and communicate well and you have so much to offer, hope everything works out for you.
@ Andy, please don't be so hard on yourself, you're worth it. Let the other person decide, if she wants to be in a relationship with you or not. Just be yourself, there are already so many others. PowerHug !
It sucks to be alone, but you still have a better life then most people that are with their parents, family or friends. The grass always looks greener at the other side. See it as a temporary time in your life, where your free to do whatever you want and you have no one to put you down. I know, neither to lift you up. It's a struggle. But this life experience will make you stronger and better. You will glow up one day and look back what you could achieve on your own! 🙏 God bless you
Growing up in a home with toxic, emotionally unavailable parents, I realized that they were never going to change. So, I quit talking to a brick wall. I accepted that fact that my folks would never be the supportive communicators which I saw in TV families and even worse in the families of my peers. Thus I understand how painful such alienation is to you. To keep going to McDonalds to order steak and vegetables is fruitless; those will never be served. Similarly, to keep asking your parents to guide you with interest is fruitless. You are showing growth by going to a gym and meeting a girl whom you took on a date. That detail shows that you are a person whom another finds of worth. Thus, I see goodness in your future apart from parents who are incapable of doing their job.
I had the same issue with my parents. What helped connecting with at least one of them was being more open about how much I was struggling. It might not help you, but in my case it was me not being open about my mental health assuming they should know just by looking at me. They are sort of the types of people you have to point out stuff for them to notice. And with my father I think it’s the type of life he had or lived that makes him a brick wall to talk too. Especially about struggling or mental health. So again what helped me was reaching out to the one of them who were better at listening. Do you have any siblings that live with your parents or hang around them more ? They might be better to talk too. Or an uncle or aunt you trust more that can relay to your family the importance you feel for them to reach out?
For me, my father stated himself that he is emotionally stunted and it was because of how he was raised. Sometimes it’s not our parents fault that they can’t be emotional support for us, but it’s not always that way of course. If you really love your parents, let them know how this lack of care has affected your confidence and your overall well-being. If they really love you, they will understand and try to do better for you. Just know that with whatever outcome, it’s does not reflect on you. Life is fucking hard and confusing, and I’m trying my best everyday to be better. Don’t give up. I’ve never met you, but you seem to have a very kind heart, and you only deserve good things, which I know will await you in your future.
I 100% understand this feeling and just like any body else, you also deserve love. Sometimes you have to see yourself from an outside point of view. When I feel undeserving, I like to remind myself that I’m worthy by visualising my child self to remember that I am very much deserving of the things I want, because I was once a child with real needs. And just like you don’t look at people and think they’re undeserving, direct that back to yourself for a moment, it really blurs those negative thoughts for me. I don’t know if this is good advice but how I go about dealing with my emotionally unavailable parents is, I don’t tell them much anymore. Which can feel lonely and I imagine that’s how you feel also. But I think not setting up yourself for disappointment is key.. and, if you’re going to tell them things about your life, I’d say don’t expect much, and see it for what it is. You will eventually find people who will support you in everything you do, it will take time and honestly some frustration but it will happen if you’re willing to keep improving yourself, I am definitely still trying to find those people also but finding ways to cope (in healthy ways) is really good. And good luck with your new friend!
Congrats with starting school!! 🎉🎉 that’s great 👍 that’s good u can let out your feelings in video form. hopefully at least one day if u have children u can be more emotionally available with them and learn not to do what ur parents do.
Hey Andy, I hope you're ok. Have you ever done the Myers-Briggs or Enneagram test before? It's not really a cure or anything but it helped me to understand myself and my parents more and it's also a useful tool for growth. I've had a similar experience to you, where I felt like my parents never understood me and when I needed support, my dad's words were like a slice to an existing wound while my mum's were like putting a bandaid over a gash. So my relationship with them hasn't been very good either but after finding out about our personality types, we've been able to understand each other more. Of course, I still feel like I will never be as close to them as other people are to their parents and sometimes I wish I were born into a different family, but I understand them more now. Do you have any siblings or someone you trust that you can talk to? I really hope things get better for you
Hey Andy. Perhaps it might help if your wrote a letter to your parents? Sometimes writing helps in these kind of situations. The least it would do is get things of your chest so your parents are aware and the most it will do is move you all in the right direction... It can't get any worse right? Brave move on starting online courses too. Follow your heart it will always be right regardless of what anyone says around you. And just incase nobody has said it to you recently. You are ENOUGH!
Hey andy...your doing good ok....it takes time ...the brain sometimes works overtime when it doesn't need to be..I feel you will do well in your future endeavors 😉👍
@@More_Row I guess he is looking for parents love, attention and emotional support?! In my opinion he is wasting his time and should move forward in life, if his parents aren't interested into supporting him emotionally then it's their choice and he can't force them to do so Life is too short
You are worth it, my friend. You are intelligent and handsome. You have everything to offer the world.
Childhood trauma cause social anxiety.
Its important to talk about these things.. it's a very shitty feeling
Hey Andy, I can tell you really want some emotional support from your parents but the truth is they might not ever be the way you want them to. It seems you get really caught up in this and it makes you sad. Try not to think about it so much. I’m in sort of the same boat. I struggle with social anxiety as well and my parents don’t seem to be 100% about what I really want to do. My best advice would be to find something you love and get good at it. The things you want will follow. Don’t forget to Focus on your happiness brother.
Hey thanks for reaching out and for the words of wisdom, I appreciate that. Sorry to hear you've dealt with social anxiety too, hopefully you've been powering through it!
Same here man, unsupportive parents, also no close friends either. Don't really care too much about my parents now. But what sucks for me is trying to cultivate some friendships and them turning out to be one-sided.
Btw, your recent video has comments turned off, not sure if that was intentional.
Hey thanks for reaching out, I appreciate it! Yeah Ive come across the same thing too with one-sided relationships, that obviously doesn't help the situation any. But don't let tha stop you from putting yourself out there. The right people will come into and stay in your life man!
Didn't mean to have the comments turned off on the recent video..but I went back and turned them on. Thanks for letting me know that though! 👍
You should try therapy mate.
@@judgeholder8112 Nah, I'm good. Just need better friends.
Wish you the best of luck!
Sorry Andy but I think you have to stop believing that your parents need to give you more emotional support and mentoring when you are 25. I left home at twenty, I have very bad social anxiety but being at home with 4 siblings was just too much and I needed some space to grow. Sure, it was ridiculously hard, I had a crap apartment, bills and could only just about support myself. It was very tough but worth it because I became independent and I was able look after myself. I worked and eventually got a better job, better home and eventually moved to Europe where I have a great life. My parents are nice enough but never have any real emotional support, I guess that is also how they were treated by their parents so they do not know any better. I am sometimes annoyed at my parents when I see how other parents act with their children, but I am also glad that they taught me to stand on my own two feet. It took a long time to realise my dreams but they happened and I did it all on my own. Be strong, have faith, do NOT go back and live with your parents. You do not need a mentor once you have left the nest you are on your own I am afraid, it does not make a difference if you have lots of friends for support…it helps a bit but you should be able to do it on your own. Sorry if this sounds blunt, I am a nice person really.
Andy, do you have any brothers or sisters that you can reach out to for help? Can see your pain in this video and can see you are hurting. Did you ever trying reaching out for some sort of therapy to help you deal with this. Andy you speak and communicate well and you have so much to offer, hope everything works out for you.
He’s already in therapy mate.
@ Andy, please don't be so hard on yourself, you're worth it. Let the other person decide, if she wants to be in a relationship with you or not. Just be yourself, there are already so many others. PowerHug !
It sucks to be alone, but you still have a better life then most people that are with their parents, family or friends. The grass always looks greener at the other side. See it as a temporary time in your life, where your free to do whatever you want and you have no one to put you down. I know, neither to lift you up. It's a struggle. But this life experience will make you stronger and better. You will glow up one day and look back what you could achieve on your own! 🙏 God bless you
Growing up in a home with toxic, emotionally unavailable parents, I realized that they were never going to change. So, I quit talking to a brick wall. I accepted that fact that my folks would never be the supportive communicators which I saw in TV families and even worse in the families of my peers. Thus I understand how painful such alienation is to you. To keep going to McDonalds to order steak and vegetables is fruitless; those will never be served. Similarly, to keep asking your parents to guide you with interest is fruitless. You are showing growth by going to a gym and meeting a girl whom you took on a date. That detail shows that you are a person whom another finds of worth. Thus, I see goodness in your future apart from parents who are incapable of doing their job.
You should try therapy mate. It’s unconstitutional for anyone to grow up in a toxic environment.
I had the same issue with my parents. What helped connecting with at least one of them was being more open about how much I was struggling.
It might not help you, but in my case it was me not being open about my mental health assuming they should know just by looking at me.
They are sort of the types of people you have to point out stuff for them to notice. And with my father I think it’s the type of life he had or lived that makes him a brick wall to talk too. Especially about struggling or mental health.
So again what helped me was reaching out to the one of them who were better at listening.
Do you have any siblings that live with your parents or hang around them more ? They might be better to talk too. Or an uncle or aunt you trust more that can relay to your family the importance you feel for them to reach out?
Good luck for you ☺️🙏🍀
For me, my father stated himself that he is emotionally stunted and it was because of how he was raised. Sometimes it’s not our parents fault that they can’t be emotional support for us, but it’s not always that way of course. If you really love your parents, let them know how this lack of care has affected your confidence and your overall well-being. If they really love you, they will understand and try to do better for you. Just know that with whatever outcome, it’s does not reflect on you. Life is fucking hard and confusing, and I’m trying my best everyday to be better. Don’t give up. I’ve never met you, but you seem to have a very kind heart, and you only deserve good things, which I know will await you in your future.
I 100% understand this feeling and just like any body else, you also deserve love. Sometimes you have to see yourself from an outside point of view. When I feel undeserving, I like to remind myself that I’m worthy by visualising my child self to remember that I am very much deserving of the things I want, because I was once a child with real needs. And just like you don’t look at people and think they’re undeserving, direct that back to yourself for a moment, it really blurs those negative thoughts for me. I don’t know if this is good advice but how I go about dealing with my emotionally unavailable parents is, I don’t tell them much anymore. Which can feel lonely and I imagine that’s how you feel also. But I think not setting up yourself for disappointment is key.. and, if you’re going to tell them things about your life, I’d say don’t expect much, and see it for what it is. You will eventually find people who will support you in everything you do, it will take time and honestly some frustration but it will happen if you’re willing to keep improving yourself, I am definitely still trying to find those people also but finding ways to cope (in healthy ways) is really good. And good luck with your new friend!
Congrats with starting school!! 🎉🎉 that’s great 👍 that’s good u can let out your feelings in video form. hopefully at least one day if u have children u can be more emotionally available with them and learn not to do what ur parents do.
Hey Andy, I hope you're ok. Have you ever done the Myers-Briggs or Enneagram test before? It's not really a cure or anything but it helped me to understand myself and my parents more and it's also a useful tool for growth. I've had a similar experience to you, where I felt like my parents never understood me and when I needed support, my dad's words were like a slice to an existing wound while my mum's were like putting a bandaid over a gash. So my relationship with them hasn't been very good either but after finding out about our personality types, we've been able to understand each other more. Of course, I still feel like I will never be as close to them as other people are to their parents and sometimes I wish I were born into a different family, but I understand them more now. Do you have any siblings or someone you trust that you can talk to? I really hope things get better for you
Hey Andy. Perhaps it might help if your wrote a letter to your parents? Sometimes writing helps in these kind of situations. The least it would do is get things of your chest so your parents are aware and the most it will do is move you all in the right direction...
It can't get any worse right?
Brave move on starting online courses too. Follow your heart it will always be right regardless of what anyone says around you. And just incase nobody has said it to you recently.
You are ENOUGH!
Hey andy...your doing good ok....it takes time ...the brain sometimes works overtime when it doesn't need to be..I feel you will do well in your future endeavors 😉👍
Yo
25 y.o. and you still ask your parents if you can date a girl?!
What type of drugs u r using? Baby milk?
I don’t think you understand what he meant.
@@More_Row I guess he is looking for parents love, attention and emotional support?!
In my opinion he is wasting his time and should move forward in life, if his parents aren't interested into supporting him emotionally then it's their choice and he can't force them to do so
Life is too short