Social Anxiety Disorder vs Shyness - How to Fix It
Вставка
- Опубліковано 14 тра 2019
- Are you Socially Anxious? What’s the difference between social anxiety disorder and being shy? That’s what I’m discuss in this video. I also discuss how we treat social anxiety disorder. I discuss the medications we use in social anxiety disorder.
Exposure therapy is a very effective technique used to treat social anxiety disorder. In this video, I walk you through the technique of using a fear ladder to help you social anxiety.
Recommended Self Help Resources (Includes amazon affiliate links. Clicking these links will not cost you any additional money. Any proceeds go to support the channel. Thank you).
Managing Social Anxiety: A Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Approach (Treatments That Work)
amzn.to/2HHdwXz
Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven Techniques for Overcoming Your
Fears.
amzn.to/2UizoPa
References
Weeks JW, Spokas ME, Heimberg RG. Psychometric evaluation of the mini-social phobia inventory (Mini-SPIN) in a treatment-seeking sample. Depress Anxiety. 2007; 24(6):382-91.
Vincent J. Fogliati, Matthew D. Terides, Milena Gandy, Lauren G. Staples, Luke Johnston, Eyal Karin, Ronald M. Rapee, Nickolai Titov & Blake F. Dear (2016) Psychometric properties of the mini-social phobia inventory (Mini-SPIN) in a large online treatment-seeking sample, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, 45:3, 236-257,
Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.
I upload every Wednesday at 9am, and sometimes have extra videos in between. Subscribe to my channel so you don't miss a video goo.gl/DFfT33
I avoid even talking in class, I am not scared of talking, I’m scared of what people think of me, and I am scared of being wrong.
I especially avoid participating in class because every time I consider participating, I feel like I'll screw up and people will think I'm stupid. I've messed up so many times when participating that it makes me feel stupid and down about myself. Even during discussions, I get so scared about what people will think about my opinion that I feel lightheaded, fidget a lot, and lose breath.
@@erinyang5859 exactly, although Arabic was my first language I see English as my main language, in Arabic class the teacher told me to read and I don’t like reading out loud and when I read outloud I stutter ALOT, ever since that day I felt humiliated and started skipping class of every once in a while.
Me too
@@erinyang5859 This is exactly how I feel
Me too and it gets on my nerves
I get so happy when people leave me alone so i can finally breath.
yesss
Same here
100%
same
I'm here sis
I wish I could find a friend with the same problem so we can get over it together
Facts
@@DeeLegend27 Im in Ny and never found someone with this disorder yet
@@luischavez5709 damn how u live in ny with social anxiety
I'am here sis 🥺
I'm heree
i think my "shyness" from childhood has turned into social anxiety as a young adult
That's exactly what happened to me, 100%
Vomitting myself out whenever I'm about to go to school, hiding in my room when somebody come to visit in our house, avoiding conversations with people, all of these habits when I was a child now backfires to me as an adult. I never really understood my social anxiety back then. I just realize how I grew this monster inside me when I can barely speak in class now that I'm in college. The major that I'm taking requires A LOT of human interaction, a lot of eye contact, and active listening. I have always been given feedback regarding my lack of focus on the person I'm talking to. Also, I had to retake a final exam (a practical exam, not a written one) because I failed it... it sucks. I noticed that I cannot sustain an eye contact with people, even with the people I'm close with. I badly want this social anxiety to be gone. I really hope I can do it.
Same. Now it's more like Avoidant Personality Disorder. I do not want to be in any relationships.
YES!
I used to be loud and the class clown then in 6th grade my personality did a flip. I think it’s the way I grew like I grew 2 feed since elementary and I felt awkward and tall and I’m a softmore and I still feel the same if not more awkward. I take Adderall and Zoloft and they don’t help it at all, well the Zoloft makes me feel numb but it just makes my personality more dull without the anxiety or emotions. The Adderall helped at first mostly for just paying attention in conversations but I thought it would make me alert and happy but it just makes me feel zoned out on stuff and really tired and sedated. Idk what to do anymore.
I took F’s in class rather than doing presentations y’all. School systems don’t realize social and public speaking anxiety is a real thing.
Alexandra Mendes same i failed my english class because the final was to present a essay slideshow in front of the class and i didn’t bother to do it so i failed and had to take a remedial(?) class for a couple weeks to get the credit to graduate.
I have presentation tomorrow and i can't stop thingking it rn like my fear is eating me rn!!! Hellppp mee what should i dp
su lee hey, how did it go?
@@twshit7871 😭 i'm kinda lucky today my teacher didn't mention my name also we out of time I literally jump after lol but hell yea friend we have TOMORROW so it's not yet done kill me now (well we have presentation today, recitation I mean. Just wanna share huhu (
That presentation five days ago it went pretty well coz they don't need to see my face coz it's online only my powerpoint on the screen and my voice but i'm trembling that time, my jaw iss trembling too aigooo
su lee
that‘s so good! I‘m proud of you if anyone didn’t say that. I mean even if it‘s online you did it! And i know the feeling with trembling. I can‘t even say my name without my voice trembling if i‘m introducing myself in class yk. And presentation always omg i feel like i‘m dying or something and turning red etc.. But you know what we need to push ourselves to do better i mean with no practice we can‘t do anything ‚right‘. We need to start somewhere.
But yeah i know the feeling when ur heart starts to race so fast and u can‘t even concentrate and stuff it‘s so annoying and painful 😕
I'm worried about not finding a Job because of social anxiety
You're anxious because most ppl who do hiring are assholes that's why we don't have anxiety for no reason and yes people do judge us in their minds who are narcissistic but it's to us not to care
i’m scared i wont make any friends and everyone around me is in friend ships and if my co-workers don’t like me
I’m going through that rn and everyone is pushing me to get one. They don’t understand that it’s putting more pressure on me and I’m tired of it.
lConfirmedl dude I deal with this rn. Ever since I’ve turned 17, my family’s been pushing me to get a job. She keeps insulting me about it, and it’s stressing me even more.
@Nina D I’m not gonna lie to you Nina I have social anxiety and I’ve been fired from all four of my jobs. Just be wary about your surroundings and watch your back
The acronym for Social Anxiety Disorder is S.A.D , how suiting.
Ikr😂
huh... never realized that
And seasonal affective disorder funny how that works lol
Ikr
✔
every time i try to speak up and talk for once, people go "omg she can talk?" and it really just takes me back to not talking at all. i really wish people would stop doing that to me
People used to say that to me all the time too!
This is exactly my problem too. They think it is a good joke, but in reality it hurts so badly and takes weeks to forget that. Normal people just don't understand us.
I hate when people do that😕 reminds me of this one time I was texting my sister and some kid in my class said "oh so you do have friends"
Ava, Forget others --take care of your life. Do some public speaking courses. Jump into fear. Laugh when others laugh at you. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10 minutes or more. Slowly negative thoughts will reduce and relax the mind. Patience is needed. Whenever you are free in the day or night sit still for 2 minutes and observe your breath. Make it a habit. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. Positive affirmations for 5-10 minutes before sleep also gives quick relief. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
@@kamilpokorny557 Forget others--take care of your life. Do some public speaking courses. Laugh when others laugh at you. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing fear, negative thoughts-anxiety For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10 minutes or more. Slowly negative thoughts will reduce and relax the mind. Patience is needed. Whenever you are free in the day or night sit still for 2 minutes and observe your breath. Make it a habit. Do the above meditation daily to feel relaxed. Positive affirmations for 5-10 minutes before sleep also gives quick relief. Best wishes. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
I'm more scared around people i know than to strangers
yeah same, i think it might be because strangers know nothing about us so we could make an impression that we aren't shy. it kind of gives confidence
Prison Mike true...true
Dang it’s the opposite for me. I get really anxious when I’m around strangers.
@Rahal De silva i still found myself hiding to the people I know
I can relate with you💯
Exposure therapy is what helped me. Everyone called me “shy” and “awkward” and nobody really told me what to do to change that. I don’t think they realized how uncomfortable social situations were for me. They thought I was “just shy” or “just awkward.” I started putting myself in social situations, saying hi to strangers on the street, and speaking in front of groups more often. I got better at it. This is what worked for me. You can change.
That's so encouraging! Gives me hope and courage to push myself more with exposure therapy. Thanks for sharing :)
That’s Beautiful thank you that just shows the level of care people have for other people in general 90% just don’t care enough!
ik it saddens me that people judge so easily but wouldn't help you out of your situation - must be human nature cause it applies to so many things (drug addicts, the homeless etc) :/ but ty that's really encouraging :)
Teroy Self Help Journey i hope i can do that to I’m afraid to expose myself
What do you do when you feel socially inept, boring, and uninteresting around others? How do I overcome these thoughts/feelings ?
My social anxiety kills me and my family is just like “she’s so shy” “she doesn’t talk much” all of that and to speak to strangers I’m so awkward and quiet and it’s so weird. I hate myself for this 😔
You shouldn't hate yourself. And you're not alone, I also have social anxiety and I'm always wondering why do I have to feel so nervous or worried whenever I'm around people, especially at school. But just remember that we were created in God's image, He never made a mistake when He made us. Social anxiety and awkwardness is real, and sometimes we feel hopeless and that we have no one to turn to for help. But there are people out there, myself included, that probably deal with the same thing as we do, and you are definitely not alone.
@@kaygirl7728 yes! I wish one day you overcome this 💖
I have the same thing
I can relate but idk whether it’s because I’m introverted or socially anxious
I hear you, it’s hard not to criticize yourself when you hear people saying those things constantly 🙏🏾
It’s genuinely so weird to me to think that other people don’t feel like this all the freaking time 😭
sameee
Sad reality😢
Ikr I be at work wondering how other people have normal conversations while I'm all wired when it comes to talking to people
I just realized I spelt weird wrong lol 😂
I still get that anxious feeling of being judged around friends I’ve known for awhile and it sucks cuz I can never get comfortable
Ryan Posadas same brother😔
Yeah same, even with my best friend I’ve known for 9 years
Im in the same boat, your not alone
Ur lucky u have friends i never got friends because i bursted out in tears at my presentations now im so lonely
Giulia Righetto same with my friends. I still just can’t say things, even if it’s as simple as a joke
I wanna cry just thinking about the steps of this ladder...
@@gk_knight how?
me too...
Same I'm literally freaking out as it escalates even though it shouldn't be that hard
@@gk_knight any advice?
Same
Having social anxiety and being in this comment section knowing other people go through the same daily struggles as me makes me feel happy knowing I’m not the only one. Don’t worry guys we will get through it! hopefully..
I hope so aswell, this was 2 years ago back in middle school my teacher paired us into groups my teacher paired me with this super smart,pretty,and outgoing girl and we had to ask questions with each other and like she was asking me questions and I didn't answer I was frozen up so she asked me if "I had autism why was I not talking" and bruh when she said that my eyes stared tearing up. So she told the teacher on me and I got a F and she was paired with someone else :|
Same, I have very bad social anxiety for around 2 years, and just reading all these comments make me feel that I'm not alone in this and there are other people who feel the same way.
@@ihavenothingtodo4473 I’m so sorry I hope that u overcome this
I as well have social anxiety and I also struggle to socialize in school
I don't give a shit that other people have anxiety. That has always perplexed me. Knowing the statistics on anxiety doesn't make my anxiety any easier. This is the stupidest concept I have ever heard.
Bro this shit doesnt get through💀 it leaves for a while just to come back like a little bitch
I've been avoiding getting a job for 3 years due to social anxiety/avoidant personality disorder. I feel most anxious when I'm around people who might see me as stupid or incompetent. Telephone conversations are a major trigger 😦
Bro me too
My Dr. has me on Lexapro and Xanax regimen...It works for me...Not the complete solution...
Winner of a video, I been tryin to find out about "is fear of public speaking social anxiety?" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Senonnor Puzzling Superiority - (just google it ) ? It is a smashing one of a kind product for discovering how to conquer your social anxiety without the normal expense. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my buddy got great success with it.
Literally same 😭😭
Wtf is up with these bots in the replies
I really kept telling myself itll go with age💀
Bruh, why’d I have to see this
It really gets worse as u age
I've been telling myself that since I was 11 lmao
@@DeeLegend27 No, no, it actually got better as I grew.
No
I'm so tired of being socially anxious. I just want to feel normal, and not feeling like I am a sore thumb at every social situation I've been to
Me too. My parents expect me to go out and make friends when some social situation which are very simple for normal ppl are very difficult for me I just don't get it why did we get such a traumatic disorder!
i had social anxiety, I used to hate being in crowded places/busses, I used to hate talking with people and maintain eye contact, I used to hate going to places alone, I used to hate going on my bike and ride to school/home. but I found a way to cure it and it genuinely helped. I forced myself to go to crowed places, I forced myself to talk to others, I forced myself doing phone/video calls, I forced myself asking strangers questions, I forced to go on self dates. and it really worked, I'm still training myself and I got more social and way more confident and I'm proud of myself.
How did you work through any panic attacks or overcome the deep fear if you had them while forcing yourself to socialize?
❤wow...👏 I used to force myself to concerts, to travel, to go out with friends and yes it is sometimes ok but still so damn fearful its better not to do anything now😢 given up😢
I dont think you ever had SAD! Hate going to places alone" thats literally the most chill shit ever!! even vacations😅
i think i have social anxiety disorder, i always feel like people are staring and laughing at me in public places, whenever i try to got to a club with my friends i feel so awkward i want to leave. whenever i go to the grocery store, i feel like im constantly being watched so i end up dropping something. so frustrating
lewis smith
You sound depressed. I get that way when I am depressed. When I go to a store i feel like everyone is staring at me but they really aren’t. It is me just being incredibly self-conscious . when I feel normal I could care less who looks at me
Then maybe it’s time to create your own ladder with little baby steps for you to practice.
I have this too and docs said its my imagination and prescribed seroquel
So sorry, Lewis! I feel your pain, I used to be that way! Even to the point of being psychotic and having hallucinations that people were staring and laughing. I can almost guarantee you that what you are seeing is, like with me, a hallucination or you are seeing them laughing and think it's about you, when most likely it's something else but your mind is categorizing it as against you, due to the disorder. I will tell you what worked for me and totally got rid of that, and then you can take it and do what you will with it: I changed my tapes in my head. a counselor I was seeing at the time told me about it and how to do it. Every time I had a negative thought come to me, I would say to myself "Bullshit! That's not true. I am a good looking, kind person!" and things like that, and I picture those thoughts being written onto a magnetic tape, in my mind. And I kept doing that until it became second nature. Almost immediately, the laughing and ridicule stopped. Every now and again, my mind tries to tell me it's happening and make me self conscious, and I say NO! again and repeat my good thoughts to myself.
i feel that as well... and i get so self conscious to the point where i just want to go back home
Exposure therapy is the only way I was able to overcome my social anxiety. I was selectively mute as a child and a very socially anxious teenager. My Mom would do things with me like practice making phone calls or pretending to go to the dentist and checking in with the receptionist. Then after practicing with her for a while she would make me go and actually do whatever we'd been working on. I'm still a shy introvert and sometimes still very anxious at large parties or events but I am now a successful business owner and mostly normal person😉 able to function daily without debilitating anxiety. Thanks Mom!!!
Yes what a great mom! "Therapy" with love. 🤗
@@DrTraceyMarks You bet! My Mom is the best and I would definitely not be where I am today without all of her hard work, constant love, support. Most important though was her toughness to watch me as I struggled knowing it would only help me in the end. She resisted the natural protective urge to "save me" from feeling anxious. At the time I thought she was mean for making me do uncomfortable thing, but I am so grateful now for everything she did to help me. Best mom ever 🥰
Joanne Kerr
Exposure is good but not the whole way. You are talking to yourself in social situations, change that and you change.
@@tactics-mnk6084 Very true, I've learned a lot about self talk doing CBT and DBT therapy.
Joanne Kerr
Why do/did we care so much right😜 still do though, good to hear you’re doing well!
This disorder has influenced every single important decision that I've ever made in my life, from my choice of profession to the person I married. I had fear of writing and eating in front of others, which was extremely inhibiting. I had dreams of becoming a professional singer and musician, but the stage fright was unbearable. So I became an engineer (to please my father) and couldn't handle the meetings and presentations. Finally I settled on being a homemaker and mother, instilling confidence in my children and finding joy in their achievements. One is a professional singer/songwriter and musician and the other is a software engineer (and also an accomplished musician). I was honest with them about what held me back, and I did everything I could to help them overcome their fears. I'm 65 now, and have considerable regret for the things that I allowed this disorder to prevent me from being and doing. My only solace is in the knowledge that I brought two amazing human beings into the world.
Back in the 70s when I first started having unreasonable fears, nobody had defined this as a disorder (as far as I knew) and my parents were against any kind of psychological treatment. I couldn't talk to them about what was happening, and thought I was the only person in the world with this terrible problem. And I couldn't tell anyone! It was my shameful secret that I carried for years, until around my early 30s when I finally sought help. I was astonished to discover that I was not the only one with this disorder and that there was a name for it - social phobia, or as it's now called, social anxiety disorder.
Thanks for sharing this!!! It made me feel less alone
Thanks for sharing, it helps a lot know that there are people like me out there.
I feel anxious even around my family members afraid of them judging me even though they don’t seem like judgemental people. I feel social anxiety even when I’m asked about something as simple as my interests. I feel self conscious about my looks, the way I talk, the way I come off when I talk. I over analyze conversations I’ve had months to almost a few years ago. Deep down I know they don’t matter as much as I think they do.
As a 49 year old Black woman I've suffered from Social Anxiety Disorder for all my teen and adult life. Dealing with racism and colorism (especially from family... I'm very dark skinned) I just learned how to shut down socially. And stay by myself. I'm getting ready to go to back to therapy. I hope it works. I feel alone all the time. And especially since I've never been married or never had children. I hope I can get over this. We'll see.
you will sista. stay positive and trust the process. you ever look in a sideview mirror on a car and it says "objects are closer than they appear"?? that's you getting over this hump. in your view RIGHT NOW, it might seem far away from reality but it's closer than it appears. you're there. just keep going.
you got this sista. you do. you got it.
I hope you overcome this terrible issue, I really understand you because I deal with the same thing.
I'm sorry to hear this. A lot of overcoming social anxiety is about learning to recognize when you overestimate the likelihood that people are judging you negatively. It gets tricky, though, when it comes to racism and colorism because those issues are real, and if someone is being racist, they actually *are* judging you negatively. I hope you found a therapist who was able to help you distinguish bw social anxiety vs racism/colorism and offer the right response for each situation. Wishing you all the best.
I know i’m 11 months late lol but i hope you’ve been able to somewhat overcome this disorder. I still have it in my late twenties going on 30 and it scares the hell out of me still
@@ijulius98 "sista"😂
How I wish I did not have this disorder. It has embarrassed me all my life.
I feel the same way bro
I even get anxiety talking to friends I’ve know for years. It’s like I always overthink everything from where I should look to how to hold a non awkward posture. I’m in constant stress until I’m alone I hate it😔
Social anxiety been with me all my life. It started in primary school, I used to get teased and bullied all the time which created this thing in me.. that if i stay quiet and avoid people i will not get judged and feel better about myself. Whenever i visit places or experience anything new and out of my comfort zone I would feel my heart pounding so fast, sweat a lot, and shake sometimes, and rarely, i would feel dizzy from the amount of pressure that is being put in me with all of this. I stutter a lot when i talk to new people or engage in any conversation with my classmates, i’d sometimes stay quiet and make it awkward. Recently i had to take my midterm exams in a hall full of people and let me tell you i struggled a lot to act normal and calm. I know that this thing cannot really be cured so i often try to do things out of my comfort zone even if it makes me experience all of this.
I quit college because I couldn't stand in front of people and do presentations. I gave up
Oh goodness. I’m sorry it had that consequence for you. ☹️
Same here 😔
You can visit a psychiatrist . Or you can take propranolol.
I gave up for those reasons coz it became unbearable nightmare and many others too wich lead to my exhaustion and all other suffocating symptoms that get you debiilitated and burned out from this chronic anxiety and after that i started having more symptoms of GED and having Panic attacks also felt like i was gonna die constantly or members of my family would , daily for a good few months :(
Im sorry 😣Me too..
Can't I talk to dogs instead? They dont judge me
FELT this
My soul never related to anything so much-
do people really judge us or it’s just our fear? i think they really judge us
@@angeleek2842 they do
Animals are great!!!
I used to wear masks to deal with social anxiety. But it was hard once I decided not to hide behind them anymore. Having to wear real masks during Covid has been such a relief. Now I don't want to take them off.
This.
I feel the same way. I haven't taken the vaccine, and I'm still wearing a face cover...
Same
Social anxiety may not even have a look on the outside. It may come off as bitchiness or rudeness; ignoring people, or saying nothing when greeted. People don’t believe me when I say I am nervous, because on the outside, I am hard, like a stone.
me too
Atleast you can hide it, all I say is if you know you have social anxiety don’t try drugs
Haha me too :( it’s okay I heard you
As someone with Social Anxiety Disorder, even the start of the ladder brought tears to my eyes. 😳🥴
Same but one has to try 😢
Just talking about doing things out of my comfort zone gets my heart rate up. I've done plenty of things out of my comfort zone, but the anxiety is always there. I hardly ever if at all feel comfortable. No matter how many times I do it. The preliminary anxiety may lessen the more I do something, but the anxiety during it, and the berating myself afterwards for a real or perceived screw up are always there.
Yeah, that last part especially is the worst part for me. Like there have been times where I have "overcome" my anxiety and went to a social gathering with people I didn't know well (first year of college) and actually kind of enjoyed myself (while constantly having a racing heartbeat), but as soon as I get home I start to overthink the whole thing and start feeling miserable because I feel like I said dumb stuff and humiliated myself.
I know you're comment is 7 months old but were you able to adjust?
@@dudemate3363
Pick one or two things you think you did right, and think about doing them freely and naturally, in previous situations, where you didn't. Write them down, too. Your better than you think you are!
Never beat yourself up, be kind towards yourself! 🌟❤️💪🏼
@@dudemate3363 And I know this comment is 5 months ago (sorry, i never got the notification), but no not really. Anxiety for me is so second nature it's like breathing. Physical symptoms have minds of their own and happen even when I'm not consciously feeling worried about something. Sometimes even when I'm looking forward to something. It's just the way I am, and I try to do my best each day.
Don't beat your self up ..nurture your inner self ...
I seriously started crying today cause i was to scared to go downstairs and talk to a relative
it’s almost a year ago you commented this but i hope you’re doing much better❤️ i understand how that feels like it gets to the point where you think you’re gonna throw up, and sometimes you honestly do
I do the same... It's more frightening when they aks for us, and we hide in a corner
@@marie-df3lj thank you for understanding me💗 it haven’t gotten any better but I am trying! My mother doesn’t say that I absolutely have to go and talk to guests anymore since I have gotten a diagnosis so she have started to understand me more now! So in one way it has gotten better cause my mom understands me now which was my biggest struggle before that she didn’t understand! Thank you for answering❤️
@@ms.nobodysthoughts4845 yes! Thats the Worst part! Sometimes when I am in my room I hear the guests asking for me and I get so scared lol cause I feel like I HAVE to go and meet them since they have asked for me
@@qq6501 best to just greet them in the beginning, wait around for 10 seconds, and then dip 🏃🏽♂️
i didn't leave my house for seven years. after years of therapy and medication im finally able to do things i thought I'd never do. I'm still pretty anxiously, but things are definitely better... when i remember what i went through for a decade i just can't believe I'm here
I was so anxious that I stopped seeing my even psychiatrist thinking that he would judge me negatively
"talk with a stranger" NOPE.
🙂
Why not?
@@lilith902 It's very scary for a person with social anxiety. I can't personally talk from the perspective of someone who suffers from that disorder, but I'm socially awkward and talking to a stranger is the scariest shit ever.
@@Otra_Chica_de_Internet yeah sorry I understand
@@Otra_Chica_de_Internet I have social anxiety and you're correct, talking to a stranger is energy draining.
In grad school, there were multiple times where I quite literally went blind during presentations. Like, my brain just shut off my vision and all would go black for a minute or two. I've always been able to greet my symptoms with humor at least, because I do know how silly it is, but still can be very frustrating to lose control of one's voice, hands, neck, or vision when in the middle of a demonstration or when teaching a seminar. I do this kind of task daily for work, so I'm very emotionally comfortable when presenting to groups, but my body still lets me down often. I now adapt my presentations to ensure I can successfully complete the task even without fine motor control.
that happened to me too when i had to do a presentation for a communications class as an undergrad. i dropped out lmfaoooo
Everyone bullies me in school and when I go outside. That's my I'm getting social anxious day by day. I hate this world
Bro it's so sad and me too
Please speak to your teacher about this ..dnt let this go on
@@olgamartin4016 Teachers don’t help lmao.
@@WarriorofChrist612 speak to your parents they will understand .can U stand up to this bully ..act like you're not scared and make a joke out of it ..
@@olgamartin4016 It’s literally the truth. You beat up the bully teachers dont do shit. Stop giving terrible advice.
I grew up in a home where I was constantly being put in the corner by my parents and siblings. I was never allowed to voice my opinion in serious matters and when they finally let we speak, they'd say I dont make sense, but later they'll end up using my idea. I know they love me but and they did all these things simply because I'm the last child. I grew up with that mentality that I was never good enough. And now that I'm older, I know I can be better but I feel so anxious each time I see a large group of people. I feel like I'm constantly being watched or laughed at e.t.c. I want to rid myself of this unhealthy way of living but I dont know how. Sometimes I feel so depressed and I just lock myself inside my room and shut the world outside.
Bliss Benson I’m sorry this happened to you. Your voice matters! Your opinion matters! You MATTER! 💋❤️
Yup. Peers at school, siblings and family members, strangers that you have to work with at a paying job or volunteered to work with. You hit it right on the nail. I agree with everything she said except the pills and medication.
Sounds like you had some narcissistic parents. Me too. Sending love ❤️🤗
Girl, I feel the same. I hate it so much. 😞
Reading ur comment I was shook at how similar we grew up! I am also the last child! I try to tell people about my upbringing so they can understand me better but they don’t. My husband has a large family and I am not used to that. It was always my 4 siblings and parents, so I feel totally out of place when my husbands family has gatherings because I don’t know when I should speak up. I’m scarred. I felt everything you said ! And I hope we can overcome this!
Just walking into Walmart is challenging for me. “People are judging me” “they think I’m too fat” “what someone I know sees me” “what if I see someone cute?, I look a mess” “never good enough”. One time I started to freak out so bad walking into Walmart that I had to stand in a corner and breathe facing the wall.
This is assuming all people are shallow
Liricool most people are, just gotta try and not care. I have social anxiety because I have very bad trauma and experiences with strangers judging/ staring at me.
"What if I see someone I know"...that's a huge one for me.
same thing with me. try wearing sunglasses. just really helps me feel invisible. a Relief
I can never buy hygienic or body care items in a store because I feel like people are watching me and are grossed out so I just buy them online.
For years I’ve had anxiety & I really wish to overcome it.
This comment section is filled with people who have the same exact problem I have.
Getting pressure from family to get a job
Avoiding getting a job for years
getting a job and quitting immediately due to extreme social anxiety
Avoiding going to restaurants
some of you can't talk to your own mothers, It happened to me once
Avoiding being in groups or doing group work in school/college/university
The story of my life no meds work nothing on ly drugs but I can't do that . I feel you though m big hug to you I know exactly hoe u feel
Same like me
Never went to college because of this disorder
Ayo Tre this is really sad
You need too step up bro don’t let that put you down
Same here :/
@Ro Ensch I can't even go in public without worrying that people might look at me or stuff like that... If you can't or don't wanna understand a disorder, don't say anything
@Ro Ensch Yeah cause intelligence will help me get rid of social anxiety lol
Good for you for being "intelligent"
I really wouldn't ever be able to talk to a random stranger in a store, because I'd have no reason to talk to them, and I'd feel too weird. I find that much more difficult than giving a speech. When I have to give a speech, I have a legitimate reason to be speaking and an audience already prepared to listen to me, so I gain confidence from that. It's approaching people and initiating conversation with strangers that I can't do. Almost all my friends are people who I've been introduced to through other friends. I don't think I've independently made a friend on my own initiative in 25 years.
I thought the random stranger in a store thing was really weird. They might think you were dangerous or something. I can do public speaking, but I can't get in touch with an old friend unless I've seen them relatively recently.
or maybe to initiate a talk when you’re new in an office
I think this works differently on different society, I think we will feel more uncomfortable when your society thinks 'saying hello to a stranger is wierd, why would they do that , I think they have some bad intention ,so don't care'
If you are living in a society withThis kind of thoughts , then I think this will just ruin your energy.
Society always varies from society to society.
Bob smith this is the truest thing I’ve ever heard about social anxiety lol
I have the same thing lol. Performing in front of a crowd is miles easier than walking past a group of strangers in the street.
It's hard to be social when almost every time you're around people your brain tells you they hate you or think you're useless or a nuisance. But then when I'm completely alone and comfortable, those thoughts are gone. Not even being aware of it can help it.
Do they think that or is that your made up self image your projecting on to them?
This literally describes me and it sucks! Like I wanna be social but my brain tells me that I suck and that nobody is gonna wanna talk to me
I have my days.. there’s days where I feel comfortable/confident and I am even able to hold normal conversations with people, and I feel good about it, also don’t analyze it as much like I normally do. I’m able to go to the grocery store alone, or run errands alone without thinking that everyone’s staring at me. I love my good days. But on my “bad days” I feel awful, I can’t walk right, my heart races, I sweat more, I feel like my arms look weird and I don’t know what to do with them, I stutter when I talk to people and I just end up feeling so stupid. I feel like everyone is watching me, I feel like my voice is stupid so I stay quiet. My mind goes blank and I can’t get any words out.. and if I do, it sounds dumb. For example, when I’m somewhere in public where I have to socialize, I feel so stupid when I’m standing by myself while everyone is talking around me. I can feel myself starting to panic, and I want so bad to leave but I can’t, since I’m usually with my boyfriend when I go places, and around his family or friends. But I feel like they can see that I’m acting weird, or nervous.. And if someone does come up to talk to me, and I have a small conversation with them, I end up convincing myself that this person probably thinks I’m weird, and that I sounded so stupid trying talking to them, and that they’d rather be around someone else.. I just have constant negative thoughts of what others think about me. I wish I can be free from this. I’ve tried doing exposure therapy by going to social events, going to the grocery store alone, etc.. and sometimes it works, but then I’m back to my same ways days later. It’s a constant cycle, I’m good for a few days, and I think I’m cured, but then I’m back to feeling like shit again the next few days or week. Sometimes I even feel awkward around the people closest to me when I’m having one of my “bad days” I hate myself..
I know exactly what you mean by having "good days" and "bad days". The fluctuation is exhausting :( usually around that time of the month I will get 2 whole weeks of social paralysis. I will overthink everything from the tone of my voice, to thinking I talk too slow or too fast, worried that other people won't find me genuine and will see I'm struggling om the inside. I will lose a sense of self and not have things to talk about because my mind is too worried to have hobbies or passions:(
Definitely understand this, like you I have had better days when I have pushed through the anxiety and gone shopping, out with friends etc but constantly anxious about people staring, judging me, can't even go to shop down the road, checking how many people on street before I go out😮Its nasty this SAD/depression...have given up I think!😢
Does anyone feel their heart racing while walking into the gym 🙈😏
I don't workout because I think people are watching me and judging even when I'm at home.
yes
Thanks for the content! Sorry for chiming in, I would appreciate your initial thoughts. Have you heard the talk about - www.MootSpeak. xyz
It is a great exclusive guide for beating social anxiety without the normal expense. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my m8 got amazing results with it.
Gym? What’s that
I had that feeling and overcome it.simply i didn’t care about feeling and keep going to the gym.after some time i stop feeling bad
I have no clue where I am on the shyness/anxiety scale because on one hand I can say hi to strangers and randomly strike up a chat with a classmate without feeling too bad about it, but on the other there are instances like the time I had to attend a class event and didn’t quite know where to go and felt like throwing up. Or that one time the bus driver looked at me kind of angrily and I was an emotional mess for the rest of the day. That surely can’t be “normal” behaviour, right? I’ve been so confused about this for so long.
To me that sounds how my social anxiety first started before progressively getting worse to the point it was severely debilitating. Maybe try and chat w a therapist and get their perspective :)
Same with me
Your obviously a highly sensitive person ( HSP ) A lot of people with anxiety will have this personality trait
Thanks for the input you guys! I appreciate it.
@@icekiwi7736 wait, it really can get worst?? (Okay that was a stupid question but I never thought about this possibility and now I'm paranoid)
I even get heart racing by just thinking " do i need to participate in this" at class.
When she said "In this case it's to attend a meet and greet where you don't know anyone" my heartrate went up lol
Giving compliments to someone you dont know is something I've tried and it does help me feel better.
Yes I agree. Saying “ I like your nails” to a cashier or “I love your shoes” to a stranger can actually feel okay. I admit I may still obsess afterwards whether or not I sounded weird. From what I’ve read about SAD that’s pretty normal. I still like to use the compliment technique as much as possible to push myself to talk to people.
Great idea I’m going to try this.
People giving me random compliments makes me socially anxious
Moving up the fear ladder worked until I discovered I also have a fear of heights.
Lmao same
I Like your sense of humor! 😊
I always think why God made me like this.😭
U chose ur life
@@futuristiccat5636 no
Nature is cruel, evolution can work against us sometimes
@@alannac.7392 yep
You weren't born this way. You learned to be this way.
just listening to her taking about the steps to do to overcome social anxiety made me incredibly anxious
Okay so my story:
I'm not scared of really talking to people. But when I do, I just feel that they don't really are interested in the stuff that I say and that they would rather not listen to me, because theyre wasting their time. That's why I don't talk that much and exclude myself out of conversations because I think they just see me as the one boring person that is there but not really at the same time. And that's how I'm being treated, like I don't matter, like I'm just an extra. So I rather to stay out of this whole social thing completely and lose myself in my own world (homework, school work, music, books, writing, my family, films and serieses). These things make everything seems like home, like my own little world and I'm happy with that. But I sometimes feel so awkward when I'm in social situations, like I'm doing literally EVERYTHING wrong and that the other people think I'm such a weirdo. But that's the worst thing I can do and I know that. So from now on I'm going to fight my social anxiety and become a better person!!! ❤️
Same.
U literally explained it perfectly
99% percent you've given up on what you said
THAT IS SO MEE I FEEL LIKE I GAVE UP
Same
my social anxiety has gone through the roof after the lockdown. my mind works best when i am working and have daily interactions with people but i havent worked in 7 months (last year i was pretty much victorious against my social anxiety) . now i wake up dreading the day ahead , fearing of meeting up with people and them noticing im nervous. trying my best to get out of it and put myself in uncomfortable situations but my goodness it is difficult. every waking moment of the day with a lingering anxiety of ''what if''situations in my head. I overcame it before and I will overcome again. We are all in this together xxx
I understand how you feel
Same now with zoom meetings I try to talk to myself so I can get enough courage to join the class. And whenever I have to turn on my camera or unmute myself I start stuttering a lot, my voice sounds like I’m gonna cry, the teacher always asks me to repeat what I’m saying, and I just feel like the whole class is staring at me and judging me. It’s gotten to the point where I went from being a straight A student to Failing almost half of my classes just because of this. Honestly I would rather go back to school because this just seems so much harder. My mom is constantly getting phone calls about my absences and incomplete assignments and she keeps saying she’s disappointed in me and everyone in my family knows so I just don’t know what to do. 😞
I remember this in college I had to give a presentation and I couldn’t face the audience. It’s like my mouth couldn’t talk and my teeth started chattering. 30 plus students and I stuttered and almost passed out. I take medication for it but whew I’m glad I overcame it. Prayer helped me a ton.
My eyes turns weird when I try to make eye contact while talking to people. It makes people feel physically uncomfortable too 😕
sameeee😭 they think I'm doing it on purpose but i can't control it
Yes i feel cross eyedd
Me to just look at there nose 👃 r mouth when talking 🤣
it was so hard for me to accept im socially anxious instead of shy. but when i share my feelings w my friends, (hoping they would understand) they just laugh and say ohh ur just shy... 😔this all makes my anxiety worse...
I'm okay to talk with strangers when I go outside I smile or say hi to neighbours, taxi driver and cashiers, but I don't want(or I don't know how) to talk deeper than that, so every day I deal with that situation, again and again, I start to feel awkward. that's one of the reasons I afraid to go outside and more social anxiety.
Pyae Phyo same I can talk to people but hate it and rethink it over all the time, even before conversations I plan what I’m saying in case I run out of what to say
@@aaminax1665The more you prepared your conversation, the more chances of you can panic, I think we need to calm our minds and don't think too much about social situations, go out and be yourself is the way of relief, meditation is one of the things we should try in our life.
Exactly..I also find it very very hard to talk deeper than just starting the conversation by saying 'how are you and how are you doing" it's truly painful to have to suffer from social anxiety
JUST ASK QUESTIONS!
I have never liked to describe myself as “shy”
It’s always been deeper in a way. The only thing that has helped me speaking in class or holding a speech has been that the things I’m speaking about are facts or an assignment and not personal things. Therefore I might seem cool speaking in front of the class but freaking out in the hallway where other people are or when getting questions about myself. “How are you today?“ can bring be to stress and anxiety so much more than if someone would have asked me to repeat the first 200 decimals of PI
31 years old and I still can’t get over this, I’m exhausted I’ve spent 90% of my time inside of my own head instead of enjoying a single day. Where do I even begin to undo this? Who do I even talk to, will I even show up? Or will the idea of speaking with someone allow me talk myself out of it. I can barely leave my apartment and go into the store for 2 mins. IM EXHAUSTED!
Twice as old as you and feel the same...EXHAUSTED😢
Same age from India bro😭 I will say goodbye to this world
@@Amygdala_monsterkeep fighting you will overcome, don't say goodbye yet. I'm fighting too and I believe I will overcome
Whenever I socialize in groups of people or even sometimes 1 on 1 I have to be drinking. It's gotten so bad that if I don't have a way to get alcohol I'm not going. I don't drink all the time but it helps me be more outgoing and outspoken, how I wish I could be all the time.
This is exactly me!!! If I don’t have a couple of shots I’m not going I call it “liquid courage “ helps me to open up and say exactly what I want without feeling bad
I'm the same way I hate it
Same. I drunk before a job interview and thats the only reason it went to well. I find myself doing that in any situation where I’m fearful and have considered doing this to finally pursue stage performance which I’ve always been too afraid to do because of my physical reaction. Never considered it may be social anxiety until now
KeiyaValecourt yeah mine used to not be as bad as it is now, I formed a bad habit of drinking when I socialize and it’s really hard to break the habit and it’s making my anxiety worse. The strugglleeee.
Yessssss omggg
My anxiety is worse when I'm with family members
Same. Some family members are cool but some are loud and it gives me so much anxiety. And of course I have to talk because they are loud and not shy at all. Meanwhile I am the complete opposite.
@@mr.coronel1716 same. i feel like theyre judging me and i cant look at them in the eye. especially my mom and sister
I thought I was like the only one who felt that lol. But same, ive visited my cousins and relatives around a year ago and they were really need but I messed up by being really awkward and came off as rude when I was just scared of being judge
sadly, family can be the worst
For me it’s the opposite tbh
I’m 24, and I have very bad social Anxiety and I am selectively mute. I tend to overthink myself in conversations. But I’m working on it and will keep trying. I’ve came so far I tend to rush out of conversations, even though deep down I’d love to have them.
I just hate my facial expressions when i have the anxiety when I’m in a conversation & i fear being judge by the person that I’m talking to
I’ve been there. It makes us too self-conscious. For me it led me to blushing haha...
Definitely fearing how fast they would judge me for screwing up held me back from thriving in making friendships
Even when I go to the supermarket, I always becone anxious because I feel like everyone is looking at me. Because of it I can't even enjoy little things
Same, most of the Time my "parents" go shopping. But we're low on food I need to go I'm so nervous.😥
This is me. I hate situations when I fear the unknown. I hate anxiety. I have fear of being embarrased as I suffer with a mobility problem and people can look at me funny ot shout at me.
The thing is exposure therapy can help overcome your fears: for e.g if you have SAD you get yourself out there and talk to people. However, it can also reinforce to the brain how painful this situation is, and make your SAD even worse
I fucking hate my brain,i wanna rip it out,just causes fucking problems
definitely, I also found the same thing. Exposure made my social anxiety worse when I was recovering
@@rubin-healmysocialanxiety702 it gets worse before it gets better!! Keep going at it ❤️
I was bullied and picked on as a kid. Because of that I developed social anxiety and didn't really talk to or interact with other kids in school. I sat in the back and did everything I could to not be noticed. I hardly talked to anyone and only focussed on my studies. When I got into college I was very socially underdeveloped. I didn't notice at the time. My therapists said that was the only time in my life that I started to socialize.
I had a panic attack when the teacher said that we need to turn on our camera with zooms..
I can’t even talk to my Own mother 😔
Stay strong, dont ever give up.
Same, man
I'm sorry bro. I feel your pain.
PRAY ABOUT IT, THINGS WILL GET BETTER 🙌
I can’t talk to anyone in my family it’s just too awkward and I feel like they’re gonna judge me even when they say it’s okay. It’s gotten to the point when I can’t even cry infront of anyone in my family even my own mom because I find it humiliating and embarrassing. I just wish I was better at expressing myself and talking to people especially family.
This comment section makes me feel so seen, I’ve spent so long thinking there was something really wrong with me
I think I fall between being shy and social anxiety. It’s not so bad that I can’t leave the house but when there are alot of people in one place, I do get burned out and feel uncomfortable. Interviews, going on dates, going to parties, those all scare me and I always sell myself short. I see this post office worker 2 to 3 times a week and she tries small talk with me but I never know what to say so it always falls flat.
Sometimes I avoid watching videos that give advice on how to overcome social anxiety because I know the things I need to do will be too much for me.
Also, there's hope for those who have social anxiety so extreme that they frequently have to deal with the physical symptoms that she talked about. All through my years as a teenager, I would avoid anyone or any situation that even made me slightly nervous. I'd start sweating, heart racing, can't speak...it was a nightmare. I'm not 100% sure how these things stopped happening to me so often. I think at some point I heavily convinced myself that I didn't care about people. I'm still nervous and all on the inside but the physical symptoms have decreased significantly. Also, I think I did exposure therapy on myself. I just forced myself to meet people when I would usually ghost them if they ever tried to meet me in person. It has helped tremendously. However, I still have the fear on the inside even though it doesn't show as much outside. Now I just come off like I don't care to other people lol...I guess it's better than letting them see how terrified I am.
I can also give presentations now without sweating profusely or losing my voice. I still shake sometimes but I can hide it better.
You sound exactly like me ..that's how I overcame my anxiety ..it took a while though... a gradual process..
AshleyAmoy Art keep it up girl I’m gonna work to overcome social anxiety problem
Thinking about all the steps I have to take to overcome social anxiety just completely overwhelms me
Omg them damn "JELLY legs" be gettin me! 😭
Lol I used get like this when younger ..I actually froze on the spot at times ..awkward moments from the past
This is me everytime I walk through the school gates😭😭someone save me from this hell
My legs are either frozen or jelly. There’s never a happy medium :(
@@dtkeight I was the very same way. It was a hell! I started to take Paxil, probably not the best solution but it has helped me.
Its cool to see so many ppl out here with the same thin as me. Social anxiety is a burden. I literary cant talk infront of ppl. I cant feel free and relaxed when going to a new class or work meeting. My body and brwin malfunction and i turn into a mute. As this is happening in rea time my anxiety gets worse as im hyper aware of my surroundins and situational awarness.
I can't say "hi" to people in my work, it's sad because my family don't understand, just knowing that I will have to leave my home everyday with this anxious, makes me wanna die 😢
(Sorry for my bad english)
For those who read this message...
You're beautiful, strong and perfect. I know life can be hard (I'm also suffering from social anxiety for about two 2 years) but it will be better. And if you are having your school time right know just think that this time is just a little, little piece of your wonderful life. So do not give up! Always have that one thought in your mind that you will sometime be able to live a life without that phobia. I know that it will be a tough path but it's absolutely worth it and you can definetly make it. There are so many others that have the same problems as we. You are not alone! And at least we are not as mainstream as the others :) Think of that!
I'm proud of you!
Im getting anxious just from watching this video lol think i need help
6:20 “say hello to a stranger at a grocery store..” If THAT’s what I have to do just to prepare for a small talk meet and greet then no thank you.
I can do that kind of thing, and in fact have done it before. It's just that I never do it because I'm TERRIBLE at small talk and am not a good conversationalist.
I think it only takes one or two bad bullying experiences to kill the desire to be social!
I used to skip school because the thought of having to socialize was overwhelming. Back then I thought this was a normal thought process, now I realize I was isolating out of fear of being bullied and judged.
My social anxiety is getting worse :(
Then how did you act spiderman
Hi
Just follow the cbt mthod, redirecting your thoughts, going up the ladder slowly until you master one round. Dont go further.
@@marcoslightspeed5517 😂
I’ve tried taking steps like saying hello to the cashier or making small talk with a stranger in a store but my anxiety makes my voice go very quiet and people don’t hear me which makes me even more scared to speak. Especially when people comment on me being “quiet” or “shy”
Hey at least your trying. I’m proud of you
Being in a abusivo relationship for years. Not being able to go any place it really lowered my self esteem and social life. I especially get afraid when when I speaking with men. I have to get over this
I go over and over past events afterwards and the conversations and interactions I've had with people to the point where I get flustered and panicky. I wish I could find a way to stop the excessive over thinkin. it sucks. the therapies sound really helpful. I'm gonna look in to it.
I wished you compared this with a third option: you avoid society because you think you hate everyone.
When I was young, people said I was shy. Later, I thought I might have S.A.D.
Now I think I just don't like people. I'm not sure what's healthier!
Internally, I feel very uncomfortable around people, but somehow, my "personality" takes control and the words flow quite easily (while internally I'm wondering 'what kind of person says that?'). Most people think I'm fairly socially adept, even when I was young. Half of my job is talking to people, and that's the half I'm good at! But I've always felt non-human around other people, and since I'm not interested in anything they can do for me except in the most superficial ways, I avoid everyone. At least until I get lonely enough
this is me right here
Wow this comment👌🏻👍🏻
i cant attend college because of my social anxiety , its been a month now .
I feel.. I study psychology.. And my classmates are so extroverted and communicative...
Tranquilisers help with anxiety ...I found anti depressants are useful also
social anxiety is so mentally exhausting....its to the point where i am struggling to live , its getting me so down and i got nobody to talk about it or help me .
I struggle with this also. I would love to talk to you.
I must make an important point on social anxiety disorder. The hardest part to overcome is how skillful we become at avoiding social interaction. I am making this my focal point because of your examples of the ladder steps.
When you say that it will be easier to say hello to a cashier who is familiar with you - that is a big old "nope!" If someone is familiar enough with me to greet me with recognition, I will avoid them like the plague. It would be easier to say hi to a stranger because there is far less chance of small talk. I don't want someone talking to me, causing me stress while I'm just trying to shop and complete my purchases. Saying hello will encourage that
I walked back and fourth , moving my hands naturally , speaking . After 1 minute , I was good . In fact , I felt confident .
I love everything about this video except for talking to cashiers. I definitely have social anxiety. And I have to work hard to overcome it. But I also work in customer service and sometimes cashiers might be going through something that causes negative feelings in their job that has nothing to do with the customer. If a socially anxious person approaches the wrong cashier at the wrong time they may be met with an attitude that has nothing to do with them and may cause them to feel more anxious. If you approach a cashier as a socially anxious person, just be aware of what's going on around the cashier. Ask them how their day is going. Try not to be aggressive and maybe show some empathy. That way you may get a positive response. You'll both feel better. And you won't feel worse about yourself. Also if they are busy keep the conversation short. Don't take their reaction personally. They may be going through something themselves.
God even hearing about this whole exposure therapy process makes me anxious
I just tell myself "why do i care about how they feel"?
same and they have the audacity to make fun of me😠
Starting taking propranolol at age 16 changed my life. I could speak in front of people, do job interviews and cope with stressful situations. I am now a medical doctor myself and I don’t think I could have done it without propranolol. I only wish I had earlier and more thorough support with my anxiety when I was a teenager.
A couple years ago there was a birthday party happening for my great grandmother at my grandma's house. Keep in mind I hate having to go to parties, even if it's only family members and I've known them my whole life. And on top of that I like being alone a lot so i would usually stay in a room all day just on my phone. Which I know can come off as being rude and disrespectful. Anyway, earlier that day as per usual i was in my grandmas room for a couple hours, I was starting to get hungry and knew my family was making food. So I walk out the room and enter the kitchen/dining room. As soon as I step foot onto the floor my uncle makes a joke, "Look, the vampire finally got out of her cave." Everyone started laughing and this was a usual thing in that household so i tried to brush it off but for some reason that moment i couldn't i was becoming embarrassed and upset. My eyes start to get watery out of a sudden. I know that i cannot let them see me cry because they will make fun of me for crying over a joke. So i walk back to the room and stay there. I didn't even come out when the party started because I was afraid they will make jokes again and bring up the fact i practically ran away to not cry. No one seemed to care that I wasn't at the party because it's what I usually do. But the time came where I had to go sing happy birthday with the rest of my family. My cousins begged for me to come out to the party because it was the least I could do and I shouldn't act rude. I still just wasn't able to get the strength to go out there. I felt so bad that i couldn't go say happy birthday and i wished I could but i just couldn't. I still think about it a lot and shame myself for it but it continued to happen and it got worse. For instance if i had like a grudge against someone or someone made me feel humiliated and upset, I just couldn't go back to talking with them to the point where i wouldn't do it for months and considering that moment I only didn't talk to my uncle for 3 days there's a big gap from 3 days to practically 3 months.
Xitlali: That's abuse. I think a lot of social anxiety comes from abuse. Hang in there!
I’m usually okay if I can be anonymous, like going to the store or something, I can just avoid eye contact and be completely introverted. The fear of running into someone I know is always there, though, which happens a lot because I live in a small town. That throws me completely off my guard and I usually come off as very awkward or just rude and uninterested. By the end of it, I’m exhausted and a little angry that I had to go through that, and I’ll reflect in my mind how it went…and beat myself up for not being “normal”. Depending on the situation, the self-loathing can last for months or years. I have taken meds before, for about a year, but I have been trying really hard not to take anything. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to give in to meds, but I usually talk myself out of it and just try to accept that this is how I am. I have a non-treatable skin condition that does not help the anxiety one bit. Life isn’t easy at all and I struggle every day.
This is so hard and so frustrating; deeply inside of me, I know that I actually enjoy having conversations and talking to people, but there’s something in my head that thinks that they will judge me and humiliate me.
Im still scared to socialize even if its online because im too scared of what people would think of me, its kinda exhausting to be like this and i feel like im missing out on so many things.