How to Regulate Your Nervous System

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  • Опубліковано 17 чер 2024
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    The other day in my live Q&A for my members, I was asked “How can I get regulated again after getting dysregulated?”
    What I assume that the person means is that they want to get back to the safe and social state of the nervous system, the parasympathetic response where you feel relaxed and calm and can think clearly.
    I’m going to assume that you already know a little about the nervous system- you understand the fight/flight freeze response, and about the shutdown response (if not check out my video on the 3 states of the nervous system). Because if you’re asking about dysregulation, you understand that we can’t just think our way into changing our nervous system. You know about using the powerful tool of the body to regulate the mind and nervous system. You already know about how to use body based skills like deep breathing, the yawn, body scan, mindfulness. (if you don’t, take my free grounding skills course).
    Like right now- take a really slow breath, make a big yawn. Gently tap your face.
    And I’m assuming that you know about the skills to slow things down. That you’ve already tried writing about it. Going for a walk or exercising, and talking with a safe and understanding person.
    So I’m going to assume that you’ve tried all these things, and that it’s not working. These skills work the majority of the time, but not always. So let’s talk about what to do when these aren’t working. I love doing this work. Let’s troubleshoot together shall we? There are at least 3 reasons why you’re having a hard time regulating your nervous system, despite your best efforts. So let’s explore them and their antidotes.
    00:00 Introduction to nervous system regulation
    00:11 Common ways to regulate your nervous system
    02:41 1. Building your parasympathetic "Muscle"
    04:08 2. You're not safe- you need to take some action
    05:45 3. You're trying to force nervous system regulation
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    In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 452

  • @sorkiemernie
    @sorkiemernie 25 днів тому +20

    “Healing changes the brain too.” Needed to hear that today. Thank you.

    • @valeriewalkerwhite9525
      @valeriewalkerwhite9525 10 днів тому +1

      She is the only person I’ve ever heard say that… even my therapist never said that.😢😢😢😢

  • @sadiaarman363
    @sadiaarman363 Рік тому +452

    " The problem is not a mental disorder. It is a situation that needs changing. Sometimes action needs to be taken and your body is going to keep sending you messages until you get it." Thanks!! 💥

    • @ConsciousEvolution13
      @ConsciousEvolution13 7 місяців тому

      Sometimes you can’t just change a situation at the flip of a dime. It takes time but it’s how you manage your stress or thinking during that time that’s important as well.

    • @LAMM117
      @LAMM117 5 місяців тому +1

      I have also looked into all these things as well, and have switched to vitamin patches specifically around those specific vitamins that help calm the nervous system; right now its VICI - nervous wreck and have been incredibly helpful. As opposed to digesting them. I have also used the vitamin patch club which did help for a time but needed a broader spectrum of helpful supplements

  • @jemstar7592
    @jemstar7592 Рік тому +418

    I get stuck because Im truly and introvert who gets exhausted quickly from social interaction (even with family) - I'm also socially anxious so I pendulate between not knowing where the line is between me really just not wanting to socialize or being afraid to.

    • @mariecarie1
      @mariecarie1 Рік тому +43

      Same here!! I’m trying to work on identifying why I don’t want to/am afraid of socializing and acknowledging how I feel and being okay feeling it.
      For example, I have an older neighbor I walk with, and we both have dogs we take on our walks. Casual relationships like this aren’t natural for me, so I always get anxious when she texts me to walk. I took some time to write out what makes me anxious-I’m afraid she’ll judge me and think I’m a bad dog owner (I’ve not owned a dog before, I’ve only had him a few months), and then she’ll stop walking with me and then I’ll have a neighbor who doesn’t like me. I realized I was catastrophizing, and more critically, realized she wouldn’t keep texting me to walk if she thought I was a bad dog owner.
      In short, I think taking time to figure out what it is that’s making you anxious/not want to socialize is helpful, along with just acknowledging how you feel and being patient with it. It takes practice and it’s okay if it’s not always successful.

    • @Sranney2
      @Sranney2 Рік тому +43

      Great advice. I am introverted, not because I don’t want to be around people, but because I have nothing to say. So that makes me feel incredibly responsible for entertaining others. When really I want to be around them and only talk if I actually have something to say, which isn’t very often.

    • @moseslmpg
      @moseslmpg Рік тому +27

      My two cents: I am very similar to this. Heavily introverted but also have social anxiety. The thing is, I understand that it is useful to have friends and acquaintances that can support you when needed (though that does feel a little too utilitarian to me), and I understand that a healthy social life is generally correlated with positive mental and physical health outcomes. However, I genuinely have no desire for social interaction, don't derive any satisfaction nor energy from it, and neither do I experience any distress due to the lack thereof. (I don't even have regular "online friends" because I simply don't have any desire). For me, being alone is an almost universally blissful experience.
      I have diligently tried to put myself in social situations throughout my life, on the common knowledge that it is a "good" thing, but these experiences have been almost universally uncomfortable and apparently pointless in terms of getting used to them. That's not to say that I regret any of these interactions.
      So I am coming to the conclusion at this point in my life that, while social interaction may be great for people in general, for people such as myself who find it unenjoyable and unfulfilling, maybe it's ok to not force myself into situations that are stressful and uncomfortable for no apparent benefit. Maybe there's nothing wrong with that, and the recommendations are just different for introverts. I'm thinking sometimes you just have to trust your gut (depending on your age and life experience, of course).
      (Of course if the social anxiety is getting to the point where it is interfering with life, that's a different story. But considering all the options for online interaction nowadays, this is probably the best time in history to be socially anxious.)

    • @jemstar7592
      @jemstar7592 Рік тому +17

      I also feel like little to no social interaction is needed for my peace of mind. The problem arises with having to find a middle ground with my husband and family who like to get together a lot. I get terrible anticipatory anxiety every time there’s an event to attend and if I don’t go, then I feel guilty, like I’m letting them and myself down for not confronting my fear.. like if I don’t force myself to do it, I’m giving up an opportunity to work on my anxiety. It’s a no win

    • @bliss3174
      @bliss3174 Рік тому

      Fuck. Same

  • @zjunegirl1862
    @zjunegirl1862 Рік тому +119

    I've had anxiety since I was 7. I'm now 23. Determined to heal my nervous system. 💕

    • @chloebanks3780
      @chloebanks3780 Рік тому +13

      I've had it since I was 8, and I'm 23 now as well. I'm with you in this healing journey!

    • @maciwilson7021
      @maciwilson7021 7 місяців тому +2

      Hey! How is it going so far

    • @blue2mato312
      @blue2mato312 6 місяців тому +1

      I have struggled for decades. Sometimes better, sometimes worse but now I think I have found something that actually works, ketamine. Time will tell, but nothing has ever lowered my worst anxiety this quickly and lowered my depression as well except for temporary relief of benzodiazepines. Many drs know this, but it is still kept away from most patients. I wish I knew before my mum died so that she could have seen me better! It’s really cruel that more people can’t get ketamine treatment without costing a fortune when we have lost big parts of our lives.

    • @tanyawieczorek6603
      @tanyawieczorek6603 6 місяців тому

      How are you doing now?

  • @Arkarian1987
    @Arkarian1987 Рік тому +103

    I suggest people to also look into the gut-brain connection. If you eat poorly, or have low stomach acid or low bile flow, you could be missing essential nutrients to support the nervous system, like B vitamins. And if you have dysbiosis (unbalanced microbiome) you could be deficient in GABA or serotonin etc. If you have a leaky gut, your body+brain could be inflamed due to particles going into the blood stream (partially digested foods, LPS, bacteria, etc)

    • @24goodbuddy
      @24goodbuddy 9 місяців тому +4

      Thank you for this comment.

    • @Chelsea-lyn
      @Chelsea-lyn 7 місяців тому +3

      I’ve recently looked into this and have had really positive results/improvement!!

    • @blue2mato312
      @blue2mato312 6 місяців тому +3

      Yes I believe this connevtion has a lot to say. I still need to improve my diet, but I have been too depressed and anxious to even think about or managing that. Now I have some relief from ketamine which I also am starting to believe avtually will help reset my brain and nervous system. I figure I have a poor microbiome. Some things van improve with food, but not all. I will save up for a full microbiome transplant and hope that I am lucky that it can stick, only humans who have had a healthy microbiome before the age of 2 can retain the transferred ones over time. It can help with allergies and other autoimmune issues too, and I believe there is a link between (awful) neirological illnesses like Parkinsosn, Alzheimer and ALS and the microbiome. Specially Parkinsons since I read a lot about it while it took my mums life.

    • @naominaomi6508
      @naominaomi6508 4 місяці тому +7

      This is very true. Diet, vitamins, and minerals, are too muched overlooked. People think blood tests showing withing the normal range means "no need for it", but this is unfortunately not true.
      I supplementet magnesium, b12, and potassium (please follow up with doctors in regards of potassium), and it has been a world of difference. Doing breathe work and so on is great too, but it wont really work on its own if there is an imbalance with vitamins/minerals. With vitamin b12 (and D3), you want to be in the higher range. Getting in the right dosages is very important.

    • @costealucia5357
      @costealucia5357 2 місяці тому +1

      @@blue2mato312 Is possible to do a microbiome transplant? How that works? Can you help me with more info? Thank you!

  • @The_Names_Bogdo
    @The_Names_Bogdo Рік тому +360

    Activated my parasympathetic watching this and crying relief of being seen and understood. You are a wonderful person for sharing with us all

    • @Godisgreat-777
      @Godisgreat-777 Рік тому +3

      Reading your comment got me a bit teary as well. ❤️

    • @joannewebster8194
      @joannewebster8194 Рік тому +10

      I just read a book by dr Claire Weeks , she’s passed away now and it was kinda old fashioned, but it’s the best book I’ve ever read on the subject , simple , straightforward and discussed every single thing I’m going through with anxiety , and I’ve been going to a therapist for a year , book was soooo helpful ❤

    • @tanyawieczorek6603
      @tanyawieczorek6603 6 місяців тому

      ​@@joannewebster8194I have her book Peace from Nervous Suffering, she sounds like she was a wonderful lady and a wonderful doctor who really understood the nervous person.

  • @Old52Guy
    @Old52Guy Рік тому +232

    Thank you. I've been in a dysregulated state / survival mode for years. This is going to take some work.

    • @aubriellemorgan
      @aubriellemorgan Рік тому +18

      Same here! Feels good to be understood finally.

    • @rosemaryjohnson6308
      @rosemaryjohnson6308 Рік тому

      We have to do the work I was married to a narcissist for 36 years who destroyed my life and shattered my heart into a million pieces he would not work we had two beautiful children I work 2 to 3 jobs for 36 years I was only a paycheck to him he was verbally abusive a Percocet narcotic Seeker a raging alcoholic and then he divorced me 11 years ago thank you Jesus so he could chase some other young sing and it's taking me 11 years to discover who I am and have some type of self-love and self-confidence and I will never get involved with another man again absolutely never get involved with another man I would rather spend my last several years be working and being by myself because I can't stand the stress working a stressful professional career and then coming home and walking on eggshells in my own f****** home can you believe it and recently he's been back he's been wanting to come back so I'm blocking and he wants my last 50 Cent really he never works you really think I'm going to let you back in my life and give you my last $0.50 we can Grayrock this s*** no effing way will I ever let this man dance and if he does anything anything at all I have no qualms about getting the law involved he can go f****** victimize another mother f****** b**** because he's not going to f*** with me any f****** more I wasted my whole entire life on him I deserved a wonderful I deserve your wonderful husband and man but I never got it and I might my life is flocked and it can never be repaired

    • @KosmicKittee
      @KosmicKittee Рік тому +6

      You've got this! 💪🤗💗

    • @teresarobbins5258
      @teresarobbins5258 Рік тому +5

      Same ❤️

    • @adaptercrash
      @adaptercrash Рік тому +4

      Hide in a dark room. It's affected by so many variables.

  • @shorty63136
    @shorty63136 Рік тому +94

    “Sometimes action needs to be taken & your body is going to keep sending that message until you get it.”
    Whew. This message right here.

    • @sronnau99
      @sronnau99 Рік тому +2

      Agreed!
      BOUNDARIES!

    • @Briimariexx_
      @Briimariexx_ Рік тому +2

      This is exactly what I’ve figured out. Going to continue practicing mindfulness and working on my physical health as well

    • @Sinfulscents
      @Sinfulscents Рік тому +2

      @@Briimariexx_ it doesn’t hurt to ask , I wonder what you do for mindfulness? I started yoga and walking but I think I need to do more 🤔

  • @rebeccajones9757
    @rebeccajones9757 Рік тому +34

    That yawn was amazing! Incidentally, when I was on antidepressants, it made me yawn all the time. It never occurred to me to use a yawn to relax. I usually use it to stay awake.

  • @KarmasAbutch
    @KarmasAbutch Рік тому +215

    I’ve mentioned this before but I really appreciate your focus on practical and tangible advice and solutions with actual steps to follow and practise. It makes you a Unicorn among Horses IMO. Thank you, again. 🙏
    Some of us have brains that just don’t do well with vague “solutions” like learn to *be present and live in the moment* lol.

    • @ro_orr
      @ro_orr Рік тому +12

      Samee lol I need to know exactly what to do

    • @dieincali
      @dieincali Рік тому +12

      I hate all these vague ass gurus telling ppl to breathe and just be in the moment lmao

    • @carleymills322
      @carleymills322 Рік тому +5

      Exactly what I was thinking!! Well said. 🫶🏻

  • @StarOnTheWater
    @StarOnTheWater 9 місяців тому +16

    I'd go even further: Embrace your feelings! Don't just allow them. Like a mother would embrace her child even when it's crying and pooping all the time.
    Celebrate your feelings like they are a welcome and wonderful achievement. I'm a way, they are, because our bodies are amazing to produce them. It is just a part of life and even though they sometimes makes us feel unworthy and ashamed, emotions are ultimately what connects us , if we let it be.

  • @quianabrown8379
    @quianabrown8379 Рік тому +132

    I have been anxious for so many years. At 44 I can’t even get a call or text without assuming the worst. It’s started to affect my physical health.

    • @boogyjuggy
      @boogyjuggy Рік тому +14

      baby steps, breathe

    • @liandra7884
      @liandra7884 Рік тому

      😕

    • @animeweeb798
      @animeweeb798 Рік тому +10

      just wanted to say that your going to get through it and it’s okay

    • @erica9314
      @erica9314 Рік тому +2

      @quiana look into accelerated resolution therapy, it might be very helpful

    • @MrSuperpimmel
      @MrSuperpimmel Рік тому

      Maybe you could ask a friend to send you nice things every once in a while, like a cat video or something to make you laugh

  • @sronnau99
    @sronnau99 Рік тому +29

    I’ve been practicing and training for years and you drove right to the heart of the issue in less than 10 minutes. And that’s why I send my clients to watch your videos. Thank you!

  • @catherinemorgan6163
    @catherinemorgan6163 8 місяців тому +19

    Taking the time to sit with my emotions. That's the piece I needed. Also, not fighting against the sensations of anxiety, but accepting them, being with them first, so I can move from a place of allowing instead.

    • @Securetwo
      @Securetwo 2 місяці тому

      Juuuust statting to do this in last few days, maybe week or so- encouraged to see what I am doing laid out just so as you have. Thanks!! Blessings on your process. 🙂🕊

  • @robertmarianomolina295
    @robertmarianomolina295 Рік тому +6

    I'm 21 and I developed anxiety during the pandemic, I'm glad I'm starting as early as now, I can't imagine being anxious for decades.

  • @YasuTaniina
    @YasuTaniina Рік тому +37

    After getting diagnosed with POTS and going through 4 months of treatment I've discovered that 80-90% of what I thought and had been told by countless professional over 20+ years were mental issues were in reality physical issues. Don't get me wrong, there's still some mental issues there, but the best thing I've ever been able to do to help my whole autonomic system is getting a proper diagnosis

    • @jsmitala89
      @jsmitala89 Рік тому +4

      I have pots too!!

    • @BuriedTeeth
      @BuriedTeeth Рік тому +2

      Same. The whole body needs to be looked at.

    • @analozada9475
      @analozada9475 Рік тому +2

      What are your POTS symptoms? How did you get tested and diagnosed? Thanks in advance!

    • @jsmitala89
      @jsmitala89 Рік тому

      @@analozada9475 dizziness, anxiety, fast heart rate upon standing, brain fog, stomach issues, urine issues, bowel issues, headaches, migraines, blood pooling in feet, red and purple feet, itchy feet in winter, lightheaded ness, blood sugar drops, insomnia, heat intolerance, worse around period. I was constantly googling for years and finally found a go fund me page about some kids who needed $$$$ for their treatment and they had this syndrome I was looking at for years. I decided to message this lady on there and she told me about the Facebook support groups and I found a cardiologist who was aware of pots (hard to find) and I wore a 24 heart rate monitor, did some urine sodium test and did a tilt table test. It took like 6-7 years for me to finally get there because no one listened and kept telling me it was anxiety. I didn’t even know I had a high heart rate at all until I started testing myself at home and it can actually go as high as 160 standing

    • @djpower8791
      @djpower8791 9 місяців тому +1

      Hard same.

  • @brendakrieger7000
    @brendakrieger7000 Рік тому +4

    Thank you so much for your advice and compassion💜

  • @cherylpa527
    @cherylpa527 Рік тому +10

    You are such an amazing therapist and human! I've been following you for several years, so glad to see you have over 1 million subs, you help so many people and I'm thankful for you! ❤️

  • @ktrmeadow
    @ktrmeadow Рік тому +2

    You’re always astonishing. Healing changes so much. Thanks for all giving and positivity you share. Continued blessings!

  • @urszulagrzywinska326
    @urszulagrzywinska326 Рік тому +5

    Your tips have always been a gamechanger 👏

  • @Baronesssa
    @Baronesssa Рік тому

    Been feeling quite dysregulated during the last month, your video was pretty helpful and gives me hope. Thank you.

  • @brendakrieger7000
    @brendakrieger7000 Рік тому +9

    I just started journaling yesterday. It's helpful to get the screaming inside my head onto paper. It feels good so far.

  • @carleymills322
    @carleymills322 Рік тому +4

    I cannot tell you how much I needed to hear this video today. It truly came at the perfect time. I was having such a terrible day battling myself and then feeling bad I was feeling so bad and low energy. And when I feel like that I tend to just isolate myself from the entire world and just lay in bed I just feel so stuck and like I can’t get myself out of that stream of thought/feeling. This video helped a lot and made me feel a little better and more hopeful. Thank you so much for what you do. The way you explain things makes it so easy for my neurodivergent brain to understand. And it’s also clear you have a big compassionate heart. ❤️❤️❤️

  • @linpena9802
    @linpena9802 Рік тому +3

    I’m very grateful for you and your channel. Thank you for taking the time to create these videos. 😊🙏🏼🌟💛🌟

  • @alizd1096
    @alizd1096 Рік тому +8

    I've been super sick (flu) this week and I've binged watch your videos about anxiety and emotions and let me tell you it's been fantastic during this time
    your voice it's so soothing and I feel heavenly peace when I listen to you and also whenever I'm more alert- because usually due to the flu I've been sleeping or dozzing off- I always wake up at an important point like: I had no idea anger could be a secondary emotion! anyways thank you! God bless you a lot!😊

  • @brookehenderson525
    @brookehenderson525 Рік тому +2

    Thank you so much for sharing this video. Your videos helps me alot I'm understand how to deal with my anxiety and panic attacks. I have them alot when I go to work.

  • @Alexandra0729
    @Alexandra0729 9 місяців тому +6

    Have been struggling with a panic disorder for about 8 years. 30 years old now and as soon as I hit that age milestone, all of a sudden meds stopped working and panic attacks became more frequent. 8 months into being 30 and still working on it. This video was so helpful towards the journey of getting better. Thank you.

  • @canuckveteraneducator7670
    @canuckveteraneducator7670 Рік тому +1

    Thank you. I am finding your videos now…and learning a lot. Peace be with you.

  • @joelyisdoingherbest
    @joelyisdoingherbest Рік тому +1

    You’re so great, Emma! Your videos help me both personally and professionally as a therapist ❤😊

  • @666dielawn666
    @666dielawn666 Рік тому +1

    I'd like to thank-you again for putting these videos up. I get alot out of them and can't really afford therapy.

  • @Lifeafterthedarknarc
    @Lifeafterthedarknarc Рік тому +1

    You’re so comforting to me! I find others on here with this same subject, but no one makes me feel like you…so I always come back n hence here I am 💜

  • @mountsinai_
    @mountsinai_ Рік тому +4

    thank you so much for the content you make! i started my healing journey recently, trying to treat my anxiety with regulation skills, and i've noticed that when i drink coffee/alcohol i feel a lot more anxious than i used to...confusing

  • @mahaylialay2664
    @mahaylialay2664 Рік тому +7

    I was having severe anxiety after something that just happened with my mom and i came across this video. For some reason reading these comments made me feel better and made me feel like im not alone.

  • @firestarblue
    @firestarblue Рік тому +17

    Your videos are perfection: not too long, packed with skill-building tips on something specific and oozing with acceptance and compassion. Thank you!

  • @steve-fb1bm
    @steve-fb1bm Рік тому +5

    When nothing helps I watch a video of yours. Always does the Trick:)
    You've helped me so much, thank you Emma !

  • @_VanHelsing
    @_VanHelsing Рік тому +27

    ♥️ Thank you Emma. For making these videos, especially for making them so accessible to the world for free. You're giving me the skills to function daily and I'm now employed thanks to your help.

  • @drsandhyathumsikumar4479
    @drsandhyathumsikumar4479 Рік тому

    Very soothing very practical and very helpful . Much gratitude to you Emma 🙏

  • @ommanipadmehung3014
    @ommanipadmehung3014 Рік тому +1

    Your wisdom is such a gift. Thank you

  • @DesignedForHim
    @DesignedForHim Рік тому

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. Wow. I'm not even sure what else to say, as I'm still processing - so, just thank you again. You are a God send, and I pray that you continue to be blessed 💕

  • @tabtab9437
    @tabtab9437 Рік тому +3

    Thank you, I definitely need to practice self compassion and allow myself to sit with it.

  • @dimplesa6713
    @dimplesa6713 7 місяців тому +1

    Thank you so much for such life saving information! This information will be a game changer during my next panic attack. Thank you sooooo much!

  • @esraaal-rashed3936
    @esraaal-rashed3936 Рік тому +1

    Sending you hugs, this is immensely helpful! Thank you so much!

  • @bliss3174
    @bliss3174 Рік тому +1

    This is huge, you’ve helped me so many times
    Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @eternal_s0ul
    @eternal_s0ul Рік тому +29

    I didn't expect much from the gently tapping on the face, but instantly started to giggle and felt so much more relaxed! Thank you for this, I also feel less alone reading other people's comments. We've got this!

  • @nb947
    @nb947 Рік тому

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this! I am going to watch and rewatch it and try to do some of the recommended actions.

  • @courtcomposer
    @courtcomposer Рік тому +5

    Thanks! I am currently reading The Body Keeps The Score. It has made me aware of the subject discussed on this video. This video discussed some of the aspects addressed in the book.

  • @pirad7799
    @pirad7799 10 місяців тому +1

    I really like you. You must be the most compassionate and down to earth therapist in this space. Love to watch your videos.

  • @mountaingirl6479
    @mountaingirl6479 Рік тому +3

    Thanks! That was really helpful! Esp the part about acceptance of difficult emotions. One of the beauties of UA-cam is being able to watch some thing repeatedly. I’ve seen this before, but I’m understanding it better each time I watch.. 😊

  • @Kalandra86
    @Kalandra86 Рік тому

    Thank you. Stumbled on your episode and it made a few lightbulbs go off in my head. Will put your advice into practise and see how it goes.

  • @maddie9185
    @maddie9185 Рік тому +8

    My nervous system was out of control after a terrible fall. Tapping, deep breathing and staying away from negativity it’s what works best for me. Also Qigong and hormone replacement therapy.

  • @valeriesnyder9541
    @valeriesnyder9541 4 місяці тому

    Thank you for your excellent, concise, evidence-backed ways to handle anxiety. I especially appreciate the point about having compassion for oneself and accepting feelings of anxiety, rather than feeling ashamed or trying to rush through them.

  • @mandycollins29
    @mandycollins29 6 місяців тому

    Thank you so much for sharing reason #2!! I relate to all 3 reasons 100%. But abuse in relationships can be well hidden and not apparent even to the victim. This is very good advice that I wish I knew years ago. I appreciate your message!

  • @noornazneen5211
    @noornazneen5211 Рік тому

    Thank you so much for this video. You speak from your heart.

  • @zoranmusic608
    @zoranmusic608 Рік тому

    These are the most wonderful people in the world, thank you. I love you a lot. Greetings from Croatia

  • @nowyouareoneofus9684
    @nowyouareoneofus9684 Рік тому

    Watching you feels soothing. Like a professional friend.

  • @tiredartistt3875
    @tiredartistt3875 2 місяці тому

    you are incredible. this has me having to do a big rethink on a lot of things in my life. thank you.

  • @intuitive_together
    @intuitive_together Рік тому +3

    This was such a calming and informative video 🙏

  • @ericherman5413
    @ericherman5413 Рік тому

    Please encourage your friend to get the waves shirt back in stock soon!! That one was my very favorite but I missed being able to get one. Thanks for all you do!

  • @cui.cui.
    @cui.cui. Рік тому +3

    Love that you're making more and more of these nervous system videos, thank you for sharing this valuable knowledge :)

  • @TorringtonFernandopulle
    @TorringtonFernandopulle Рік тому

    Really love ❤the way you explain very much clear and crisp....
    Thank you so much for the video, and sharing very valuable lessons .... 🙏

  • @AliKazi
    @AliKazi Рік тому +2

    ❤❤❤ thank you for another great amazing video. We can all learn and get better from theses mental health conditions 😊❤❤❤

  • @shelbyartist9152
    @shelbyartist9152 Рік тому

    Thank you. I loved watching this video, especially the example of the toxic environment.

  • @daphnekapsambelis8790
    @daphnekapsambelis8790 7 місяців тому

    "It's not ok to feel disregulated" YES... that's exactly what sends me into a downward spiral - thank you so much for pointing this out, I will keep it in mind and I'm sure that'll be very comforting.

  • @instantchampion
    @instantchampion Рік тому +4

    Thank you for the wonderful advice!

  • @nayswan3136
    @nayswan3136 Рік тому

    Oh my, thank you I remembered my most used app before. The InsightTimer, i used it 4yrs ago and kinda forgot it exist. Oh life, how came to this, I really forgot how helpful it was to me before. And I will download again today. Thank you so much.

  • @debbiebrown872
    @debbiebrown872 Рік тому

    You’re so wonderful! Thx for all you share!!

  • @leannshort2211
    @leannshort2211 2 дні тому

    You really are amazing!!! I subbed to your channel a while back and should’ve kept going with my nervous system regulation exercises. I have finally realized that my disregulated nervous system is due to childhood trauma and it has led to chronic, systemic illness. I am making it a point to take time out of each day to appreciate all the little things and all the blessings that I have in my life. Taking time for self-care and love.. 💕 I will get better. I know it. I appreciate you and your channel! Thank you and God bless!! ❤️❤️

  • @justpassingby0
    @justpassingby0 Рік тому

    Thank you so much for making this video. Understand things a lot better now.

  • @meganh5948
    @meganh5948 Рік тому +3

    Thanks! You have helped so much.

  • @veronicamccall9823
    @veronicamccall9823 Рік тому +35

    I just found your channel and it’s great! I’ve been struggling with chronic anxiety for several years. It started out as panic but I don’t really get this anymore. However, it’s morphed into the tendency for chronic hyperventilation and it is SO hard to get my breathing back under control if I don’t reverse it quickly. Also experience a lot of diaphragm tension. A video on this would be super helpful!

    • @vanessaburdine4865
      @vanessaburdine4865 Рік тому +10

      I don’t know if this is helpful but I find “deep breathing” too vague, the best thing to
      Focus on for breathing is trying to push as much air out as I can, even holding it there for a second or two after the air is out of my lungs. Doing that for 20-30 breaths really helps me. Don’t focus so much on the inhale.

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 Рік тому +8

      Yeah, "Deep Breathing" is a kind of useless term... Instead, look up exercises like "Square Breathing"... It's much like Vanessa Burdine described, but you count for each phase of breathing... Count to 3 while you inhale... then count 3 holding... then count 3 while you exhale... then count 3 keeping your lungs empty...
      I try NOT (explicitly) to close my throat or "lock the air" in or out when holding my breath. Focusing instead, I make my diaphragm hold that air in or out while I count... I don't know if that has much or any particular advantage, other than just a tiny bit more difficult than the usual closing of throat method... BUT as long as I'm going to practice "breath control" in any fashion, it's something to strive for...
      AND no, you don't have to count exactly to 3 for each part. It's just my example here. You can find a number that works for you, whether it's 3 or 5 or even 15 for each phase of the breathing process. The point is to focus on the process and steps of breathing... In-Hold-Out-Hold... repeat... etc... Some of that is distraction from whatever's raising all manner of hell in the back of your mind, and the other part is to actually help OXYGENATE your blood.
      Here's a kick in the teeth... Psychologists studying anxiety by experimenting, have to have a reliable method of inducing anxiety into their subjects... SO they use CO2 gas to raise CO2 levels in their subjects, thus inducing anxiety when applied in small amounts, and displacing O2 just a little bit to sustain that anxiety...
      When you hyperventilate uncontrolled, you actually DECREASE the efficacy of your body to Oxygenate blood, because the fresh air isn't staying in your lungs long enough to transfer the O2 and CO2... AND technically, you don't really feel O2 depleted. Try an Oximeter, and you'll see it can stay right up there in the upper 90's, and you feel breathless as hell, no different from when you've been at rest and obviously clearly oxygenated fully... SO what's up with that??? Well, any Scuba Diver with "Rebreather" training will tell you that you actually feel CO2 building UP in your blood and tissues, not the oxygen running out. The earliest symptoms of that is (in point of popularly known fact) "Anxiety" or "Excitability"...
      SO... by slowing your breath RATE, you actually increase your lungs' ability to bring fresh O2 to the blood stream, and transfer the CO2 out better for the energy spent. That's the paradoxical and self destructive "hell of it" with hyperventilation... and why and how "Square Breathing" exercises should generally work. It can take a while, too. You can only shed CO2 so fast, and there's not much you can do to alter those rules of nature... By deepening your breaths, you CAN move a bit more air than "normal", but not a lot, so allowing yourself the full time to "recover" as it were will do more to put off the next sensations of anxiety, even after you feel better, before getting up and trying to "get right back at it"...
      Really hope this helps... Hope it can at least inform some questions for future chats with therapists or coaches or whomever... ;o)

    • @KarmasAbutch
      @KarmasAbutch Рік тому +8

      As someone who used to experience this it helped me a lot to understand that hyperventilation was over-oxygenating Me despite feeling I couldn’t catch my breath - so breathing into a brown paper bag initially solved it until I eventually learned how to focus on a long out breath then holding my breath after an out breath to get rid of the excess oxygen - takes practise but once you see it’s true and grounds you it changed everything and became a habit which solved the hyperventilating within a year - we are all different but just putting that out there in case it helps anyone ✌️

    • @KarmasAbutch
      @KarmasAbutch Рік тому +1

      @@vanessaburdine4865 seconded

    • @snrkbol
      @snrkbol Рік тому +1

      This is exactly how my anxiety manifests, too -- there are lots of videos on UA-cam that I recommend following. (Not just learning the technique and trying to do on your own, but actually following along for at least 5 or 10 minutes) ...And then do them multiple times a day. This one, for whatever reason, helps me a lot. I do it before bed, when I wake up, and whenever I can during the day: ua-cam.com/video/y-VRRDnCldU/v-deo.html

  • @EveSama
    @EveSama Рік тому +2

    I love your videos and how you know how to connect with the audience well and we get a better understanding of our symptoms and you answer everything of what i would feel. Thank you very much.

  • @titansky1001
    @titansky1001 Рік тому

    You are a godsend. Thank you for your great work!

  • @ajeshmathewvarghese614
    @ajeshmathewvarghese614 Рік тому

    This video is very much useful for me as I'm very much prone to be anxious all the time.

  • @Nunyabidness20
    @Nunyabidness20 Рік тому

    Absolutley AMAZING!!! THANK YOU for this information my goodness🙏🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕💕

  • @slinkyminx2010
    @slinkyminx2010 8 місяців тому +1

    Very good to point out anxiety can be a very important message as so many just see it as a disorder

  • @KosmicKittee
    @KosmicKittee Рік тому +13

    Been stuck in FFF due to anxiety and OCD for almost a year now but I'm finally learning to just sit with the intense feelings, let them flow through me, feel into and accept them like an observer. Took me a while to get there because I'm stubborn lol but absolutely makes so much difference in developing resilience, strength and confidence.
    Your videos are extremely helpful.
    With gratitude and blessings, thank you Emma 🙏💚✨

    • @kirstieb8025
      @kirstieb8025 Рік тому

      your parents most likely didn’t nurture you properly

    • @KosmicKittee
      @KosmicKittee Рік тому +3

      @@kirstieb8025 Can you relate?
      I can somewhat agree re the nurturing.. I was often told things such as "you're too sensitive," and "don't cry"..Wasn't hugged very much and only sometimes gently comforted when going through traumatic events (parents not big on that stuff especially my Dad) and basically, like so many other children, not given permission to feel my feelings. So what happens? We end up shutting emotions off then they become stuck in the body. Unreleased, trapped emotions equates to various health conditions.
      However, I'm working on it!

  • @ruthann2635
    @ruthann2635 11 місяців тому

    You are soooo nice and helpful and a beautiful person to share your expertise 💖

  • @sarahfaith6531
    @sarahfaith6531 Рік тому +11

    Thank you. This popped up in my recommendations. I almost never feel safe. I’ve learned how to maintain some normalcy but this week has been very hard because of my dreams and some personal issues that came up. I really have no idea when I am actually safe anymore (ptsd).

    • @videhbhaav
      @videhbhaav Рік тому +1

      hey, i hope there comes a time when you find safety around you in people and situations but i really reslly wish you find it within yourself as well

    • @annnee6818
      @annnee6818 Рік тому +2

      If you can, get trauma therapy to identify and habituate to your triggers but I realise this might not be possible. I'm sorry you're going through this, that sucks, it's unfair. Wishing you well.

  • @bobburch2151
    @bobburch2151 Рік тому

    Great video I really enjoy your videos and how you explain everything so well. Thank you so much.

  • @a.r530
    @a.r530 Рік тому

    Wow I this video made me feel so seen. I live with my controlling Narcissistic father and I can't afford to move out yet. Some days I'm able to grey rock it and tune him out. But other days it gets so hard. Just days of sudden crying and hard to breathe. My family means we'll by trying to help, but they always say "mind over matter" and "I can control the situation if I just use my mind". Knowing this makes me feel less crazy and feel like a failure for not being able to control it. Thanks so much. I hope others who feel same know that "you are not crazy for not being able to control it with just your mind". It is a lonely place to be for a long time

  • @brigitterose562
    @brigitterose562 7 місяців тому

    Thank you so much, you helped me and are saving my life.

  • @AMcDub0708
    @AMcDub0708 Рік тому

    Thank you!! Also your hair looks so GORGEOUS!!!

  • @Amyloveshotels
    @Amyloveshotels Рік тому

    you are all amazing and deserve the best in life!!

  • @itszozzy
    @itszozzy Рік тому +1

    Your videos always help me. Thank you :)

  • @ravon
    @ravon Рік тому +24

    Love this channel!

  • @thorned10
    @thorned10 Рік тому

    Thank you, thank you thank you. I needed somebody to just talk me through it. The breathing exercises don’t help when I’m having the physical attacks where I feel like I am going to faint or lose consciousness.

  • @adriapeet3943
    @adriapeet3943 Рік тому +2

    So helpful! Thank you!

  • @poliver12345
    @poliver12345 9 місяців тому

    Thanks I was a people-pleaser worked in sales & self-employed so business meant taking abusive works from others...Now I evaluate the response but deep breathing is a really good idea!

  • @HappyMindHealthyYou
    @HappyMindHealthyYou Рік тому +4

    Excellent perceptions 😊

  • @karinakvcs6490
    @karinakvcs6490 Рік тому

    We need more people like you :)

  • @taranazare2633
    @taranazare2633 10 місяців тому

    Thank you. I have some good ideas now for how I will move forward.

  • @cest.lucille
    @cest.lucille Рік тому +47

    Hey Emma,
    could you possibly post a video on how to release strong tension and pain in the body? I have really bad psychosomatic tensions in the upper part of my body and i can never let go of this causing my pain and discomfort to get worse.
    i thank you so much if you could help me and i am sure so many others with this topic🫶🏻
    from a friendly subscriber 🥰

    • @zaibakhan1989
      @zaibakhan1989 Рік тому +9

      I Recently read the book ‘Mindbody Prescription’ by Dr Sarno, in which he addresses psychogenic pain. This book was life changing for me.
      Basically, any life experience,whether good or bad, brings up emotions that get trapped in the body and show up as symptoms that include pain and mysterious rashes.
      Even positive life events like getting married, having a baby, getting a promotion puts so much performance pressure and creates subconscious anxiety/anger/rage.
      The answer is to honestly acknowledge out loud (like literally say/yell) the things that are bothering you and/or journaling and putting all concerns onto paper (eg now that I’m promoted to senior management, I’ll have more responsibilities and have to put in longer hours and won’t be able to spend time with the family in the evening, I’m afraid of the commitment…..)
      Basically make the subconscious into conscious so that the emotion gets released
      Another thing to try is trauma informed yoga
      Wishing you well on your healing journey

    • @corinnminyard4859
      @corinnminyard4859 Рік тому +3

      Hi, I also need to release terrible mind/ body pain that I’ve been dealing with for over 50 years. Horrible stabbing pains that come and go each time I think about something that upsets me. So many things upset me these days so I’m almost in constant pain, I’ve read Dr. Sarno books, several of them but they didn’t help. 😟 I have also been to several therapists, but no help there either..what else can I do????

    • @zaibakhan1989
      @zaibakhan1989 Рік тому +7

      @@corinnminyard4859 some things to try, when I say try, I mean dedicate to them serious effort and time. A lot of times we think we’ve tried things but the effort has been superficial. Also, such things don’t have a one quick fix, but a more holistic lifestyle/mindset approach
      You might have to Google for more details
      - eating nutrient dense meals that focus on healthy protein, fats and micro nutrients rather than calorie counting
      - exercise whether endurance or resistance that suits your body type, even if it’s just 15 min dancing
      - trauma informed yoga stretches eg. by Dr Arielle Schwartz on YT
      - breath work exercises and other grounding techniques to regulate the nervous system (free resource on this channel)
      - NSDR and meditation (start with any type and stick with what suits you) This has worked wonders for me so far. I like Marissa Peer and The Mindful Movement. You can even just stick in ear phones while sleeping for the guided ones
      - journaling in general, write about deep emotional fears and concerns, leave nothing out, but don’t describe triggering events in details- that’ll just retraumatize
      - keeping a gratitude journal- write at least three things you’re blessed with and thankful for
      - journaling/ therapy for inner child work and shadow work
      - having a spiritual practice if appropriate and possible. I’m a practising Muslim, so I have my daily prayers
      - keep a good routine to support the Circadian rhythm of the body
      - hang out and keep company with good friends and loved ones

    • @willbyhalo
      @willbyhalo Рік тому +5

      Patriarchy Stress Disorder by Valerie Rein is amazing! The exercises helped me release tension in my body

    • @KosmicKittee
      @KosmicKittee Рік тому

      I highly recommend Somatic Experiencing (SE), developed by Dr. Peter A. Levine.
      SE is a body-mind therapy specifically focused on healing trauma by helping clients draw their attention to their bodies.
      Dr Bessel van der Kolk is excellent too.
      Sending blessings and healing vibes your way 🙏💗✨

  • @drsandy780
    @drsandy780 Місяць тому

    So beautifully narrated video... Thanks

  • @amenhotep7704
    @amenhotep7704 Рік тому

    Thank you Mrs Mcadam❤

  • @JeremyLake-tu8lj
    @JeremyLake-tu8lj 16 днів тому

    Thank you, you are an amazing person, you are my go to for help, ❤

  • @flyingumbreons
    @flyingumbreons Рік тому +1

    Why do all these videos seems so applicable to me? Do I truly have all these issues or am I just relating to all these different feelings? Anxiety, ADHD, depression, trauma, isolation/ social avoidance, rejection sensitivity, people pleasing, perfectionism, the list keeps growing.

  • @MeissnerEffect
    @MeissnerEffect Рік тому

    Really great video thank you, hugely needed as a reminder and reference. 🦋🎍

  • @pauletteispassingiton943
    @pauletteispassingiton943 Рік тому +1

    Love your channel..Thank you…

  • @kyra3607
    @kyra3607 Рік тому

    Wow. Thank you very very much ! Good explanation and good summary

  • @mermaid4769
    @mermaid4769 Рік тому

    This makes so much sense. Thankyou