Broke People SHOULDN'T Date In Their 30’s...50/50 In Relationships?!
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- Опубліковано 3 вер 2023
- On this episode of The Table with Anthony ONeal, we are joined by the Neatness Network family! We gathered the whole crew for an enlightening candid discussion on finances, relationships, mental health, and so much more! Get ready to delve deep, share laughter, and embrace authenticity as we explore diverse perspectives that are sure to resonate. From money matters to matters of the heart, this is your chance to connect and engage with a family that's unafraid to keep it real. Tune in for insightful conversations that'll leave you thinking, reflecting, and smiling!
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Im an educated woman, with no children and a pretty decent job. I met a guy a while back, attractive, single no children. At the time, I was transitioning from a job, making REALLY good money to a job making a lot less. But, I was maintaining. He was going through bankruptcy. I would never have dated a guy with financial problems and I saw his setback as a temporary situation. Long story short, I ended up breaking up with him. Great guy, but he continued to spend money unnecessarily. I saw myself building a life with him, but, I couldn't be with someone who struggled financially, and could not contribute to our financial growth as a couple. I would rather struggle alone than be in a relationship with a broke gentleman.
@@Rashaadthegr8Im debt free!! Woooohoooo!!!!!!! Thank you, Jesus!!
He sounded like he was making bad decisions all along.
@@MsKyleacongratulations!!
Our dates were walks in the park, fishing, washing our cars, sitting in the car talking🤣🤣. Everybody is not the same, so its hard to set a cookie cutter rule and apply it to everybody. We both didn't have much at all, I had just graduated college and was looking for a job, he just started back welding, but was a manager at Popeyes when I met him, and we were both over 25. Seeing the potential does work sometimes.
That's the best type of quality time sis. Right up my alley too. Do what you can afford. Budget for dates. Every date doesn't have to be fancy.
As a single woman, looking back it was exhausting in all aspect emotionally, physically, etc. when only one person is pulling the weight. Causing you to question your position in the relationship when there wasn't a clear understanding of what we doing in the first place.
You should absolutely not date when you’re broke. When you’re single, you should maximize your singleness (work on being debt free, go to therapy, get in physical shape, etc.) and then when you get into a relationship, you are in a good place to start a relationship.
Truth it's the perfect time to improve yourself. Relationships distract you from personal growth.
It really on matters if the man has money.
That’s exactly what I’m doing but making 6 figures. I want to make sure that I’m being Spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically healthy before I get married again.
If broke people didn't date 99% of us would not exist. People just need to live within their means are need more realistic expectations of themselves based on their work ethic and resources. This is just an elitist perspective.
@@sebastienc.2257 This is true lol. A lot of our grandparents and great grandparents were dirt poor, still got married and still made a bunch of babies. But most of them had morals which made a huge difference compared to today.
Healing is important because there are many hurt people who are hindered, angry and burdened with past trauma that blocks their destiny, goals and mindset
true
a lot of people just jump from one relationship to the next without healing from past hurt and bringing that into their new relationship expecting that the new partner will make them happy and forget about the past hurt
Agree.
if money was the answer, rich people wouldn't be divorcing. it shows there is more to a successful relationship than money
Our demographics typically doesn't have or is newly making the money and are consequently stuck having these very stale, recycled, and surface level conversations over and over again while remaining single.
1. Men are not intimidated by successful people, immature “boys” are.
2. Money is tool..but, if you allow it to be weapon, drug and a decoration of illusion..you are the disillusion one.
3. Time is undefeated and all have the same destination. Who and how do you wish to spend your time?
I will finish here AO…I am from South East San Diego….made it to Morehouse, MBA, Six Sigma, Author, Entrepreneur, Husband & Father (married 27 years) . I solved the Riddle. Peace.
Great conversation. Especially the part about not dating while broke. I would add to that, broke is a mindset before it’s monetary. Broke simply means a system isn’t working properly. If your financial system isn’t working properly, it’s not the right time to date. However, that same principle applies to other areas as well. If you are emotionally broke, it might not be the right time to date. If you are mentally/spiritually broke, it might not be the right time to date.
I am NOT saying you have to be perfect before you date, that’s never going to happen. I am saying, at least be making progress in the right direction, before you add someone to the mix.
NOPE! After 25, you cannot marry a grown man based on potential when he is not doing anything or much with his life and doesn't even have a vision for his life. No.
I say date and marry in your tax bracket. You both can build together or add additional to what you both may have already built when it comes to wealth. The main goal is to make sure character and integrity are intact when it comes to a soul mate. Financially successful, wealthy people can be the most broken people that shouldn't be dating nor marrying anyone until they seek professional mental help and some inner self development. The rich and wealthy are mentally, physically and emotionally abusing each other in relationships constantly. Money isn't the only key to love and successful relationships. It all starts with us men because I believe we as men set the tone when it comes to the development of a successful relationship with women. When we lead in alignment as kings, the queens will follow and wouldn't mind building wealth with us. Great content Anthony, it brings valuable insite to life in general. I pray that all of these individuals continue to grow and prosper in every area of thier lives keeping thier families together.
Agreed, well said!!
I understand what you're saying but also believe it's okay for someone to date outside of their tax bracket. A lot of wealthy men marry women who are beneath their tax bracket and I believe those relationships work just as fine and I think in a weird way, some men like to feel needed, while some women like to be taken care of. There are a lot of relationships built this way.
Yall just throwing numbers out there. Nobody is paying 3000 for a mortgage and definitely not paying 200 on a dinner date. I took my spouse to Chili's and we walked out only paying $70. Margaritas included. Date someone within your budget
Depends on your age and location.
Loving this forum it's so open and honest, Wisdom at it's best. My last girlfriend was a multimillionaire amazing woman, sadly she never did the work on her personal trauma and that made her unfit for a relationship. So I will always seek a woman character and values for it's something about living in peace and harmony, and a man should not be intimidated by a woman, as I believe we should be pouring in to each other for the better good of the family/relationship and a man should always be seeking to improve his income, and always growing to be a better man. Thank you Anthony for all you do. I'm a newbie and just getting started, my mind is opening up to new ideas as I set them in place... Many thanks for making that possible.
I agree with the desire to work as a woman even if I don’t have to.
Everyone has a lane..don’t take advice from people who are not credible to give it..either they are teaching you what to do or what not to do based on their tract record.
❤
This was amazing!!! I learned, resonated, reflected and laughed! Thank you all for sharing. Please do more of these type of forums. 🙌🏽🙏🏽🙂
That cloth seats or leather seats statement is so ridiculous!
This was a good conversation.
One thing that's interesting to me is it seems so much of the focus of marriage talk is sex or money.
Would love to hear people expound more on some of those intangible benefits because a lot of single folks already got money and access to sex.
You lost me on the seats and hope it was a joke. Does the material of the seat actually determine the wealth or potential of someone?
The production on this video is amazing y’all went crazy with the black & yellow color scheme 🔥
Love love love this discussion Anthony, definitely looking forward to the continuation of it. Plus Justin is funny as heck. Never heard about the color of seat before, made me wonder if guys have been sizing me up all along. I hope guys will stop projecting on us ladies for real, because there are a lot of us out here doing great and are still respectful of men no matter what. Great job Anthony, as always.
I was married and my husband at the time was also that guy who wanted to take care of everything for the most part and I wouldn’t allow it. I have a natural desire to contribute help build and do things for myself so I get where Joy is coming from in all aspects. Most women with this mindset want to help they don’t have an entitled mindset. 33:20
This was a great discussion
Wow I Loved everything about this and the nuggets are unreal....WOW...I Love the realness with every single person.
Great conversation guys 👏🏿. Can't wait for the next part 😊
I really enjoyed the discussion. Keep it up 👏🏽👏🏽
Great conversation 😊
Excellent discussion
This was good!
Love this Anthony!! You must do this again ❤❤❤❤
Great interview
That's right baby girl!!! You tell'um! I love her!!!👑👑👑Royalty!!!
I feel like I gotta watch this cause I’ve been following Patrice ❤❤❤ that’s my girl ✨
A very interesting topic enjoyed the episode.
Joy just been blessed all her life
I came back to watch it again. Please make it a thing
I think “in your 30s” had to be emphasized. You heard the married couple right then and there talk about how getting married young propelled him. You just have to know what audience the content creators are talking to. It’s not always everyone, as it can often be their demographic. I hope this doesn't discourage gen z from going out and dating for marriage even if you don’t have it like that.
Naw all ages!!!!! Would you want your daughter to date a man with potential....I know I wouldn't want that for my daughter 🤷🏾♂️
@@Cppowell23 we'll first off I wouldn't want my daughter to date a super controlling, promiscuous older man who is already successful and unloyal. I think it's pretty intelligent for younger women to find and date younger men who have promise, law school, med school, engineering etc. but not successful yet. That way, they can build trust etc.
This conversation of how a woman should adjust herself and tone to appease a guy who doesn’t like boss energy… because he doesn’t make as much money or whatever … is very dated. It’s 2023. We all need to work on our own self-esteem. Nobody wants to be belittled, women included. That said, I can’t relate to not caring about money in dating. It matters and always will.
“How did that end?” 😂
This is good
Great video however I don’t care for the leather seat formula at the end. Sounds like nonsense to me
Buddy in the yellow shirt gets it!
I don't think that dating is about potential at all. I think employers are better suited to nuture people with potential. In dating, I think we should look for the person that has a plan that they are practicing to achieve their goals/ambitions. Someone taking the active steps to avhieve whatever they have set out to do will tell a lot more than us looking for something in them to nourish.
The person has to have a tangible track record. Not saying that they have to be 100% of the way there, because it is unrealistic for people under a certain age.
However, we do need to see if you are capable of completing tasks. If you are capable of fulfilling a plan and its trajectory. What have you done with your time?
Potential means there is a potentiality that you might not follow through on what it is that you say that you want. That helps no one. The world doesn't Bank on potentiality, it banks on tangibles.
@@TrueMystiqueLove this!… It’s worded perfectly. “Can you carry your own weight?” is the question most successful men and women will have or at least those on the way to their level of success.
I agree with that @TruMystique. That was exactly my point. And I'm glad that you elaborated on it a bit more. People under 30 may or may not have things 100% established, but showing what you are aiming to achieve while you are in the process makes a lot more sense in terms of dating a person, than just looking for potential. We all have potential as human beings. It doesn't mean we will act on it. Consistency in executing a goal/ambition through dating will help nurture the foundation for a healthy marriage if two people want marriage to begin with. I believe after marriage the two partners can then continue to nourish and elevate those goals together.
Even after 30, you still have to have a plan in action because more people in the dating are more likely to be well established and in order to add value, you have to show value.
I noticed that people who are not Black; who were brought up in very comfortable environments, well educated, a few generation of financial independence, do not measure their value by clothes/cars/shoes & other foolishness. Where they live, where their children attend school, exposing their children internationally, what type of homes they live in etc. seems to be of most importance. They are not the nouveau riche. The other group are migrants who are in business, or are professionals doing very well financially. The color of a car seat means absolutely nothing to them. It must then be that we are dealing with some conscious & or subconscious insecurity, that we have to show off & talk about our new found riches.????
It depends on what one values. I value physical fitness, femininity, agreeability and health over money. I don’t look for money as I already have my own assets and money. This shrinks the dating pool drastically in my opinion. If those values are present, the possibility to explore further compatibility exist. I don’t believe marriage is an option for me though, considering todays standards and I come from a two parent household where my parents are still married from over 40 years. Great conversation on different views and approaches.
I have cloth seats now lmaooooo I hate it but you probably right. i make well enough to look for love 😂😂
Same 😂. I live in hot Texas. Don’t have time to be burning my legs on leather. Cloth me up 😂
This was nice and fulfilling to watch!
QUESTION: what if being broke is a strategic move? What is you transition into a career path or entrepreneurial launch that leaves you in the red for a couple of years while you build. I’m heading into medical school which requires a FULL commitment and flexible job hours bc I cannot work full time anymore without in endangering the sheer amount of info im trying to absorb in the process. Basically I’m broke…again, lol. Does this mean I’m disqualified from dating until I launch my practice?
We make it all about money. That's the problem
It has relevance but not in the way conversations typically go. Finances tend to be a problem because of misalignment in vision and goals and lack of communication around key topics vs being 6 figures or not.
Women make it about money. Go to Kendra live women with three kids and different baby daddies want a man that makes more than a 100k. If you haven’t date that kind of caliber person why even shoot for that. Stay in your range for a suitor partner.
@@jmar385 men made it about money for THOUSANDS of years when they gatekept women from being able to be financially autonomous.
Even till this day, men demonize women for not NEEDING to be in a relationship just to have money.
@@jmar385 Men complain about women being gold diggers, then complain about us being high end earners.
There are also men who have children OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE who expect a traditional woman to come in and be the chef, maid, psychologist, nurse, and personal assistant, all while expecting her to help pay "her half" of the bills.
@@jmar385 They also expect her to put up with the man being NON-monogamous while expecting the woman to live monogamously.
I went to Ghana a couple of months ago and most women worked… many were bread winners. There wasn’t a problem or certain expectation of how much either person was making, they worked and dwelled together and both operated in their respective masculine and feminine essences. It’s a western culture mindset and issue when it comes to money/roles, etc. we could honestly learn from our African brothers and sisters and live in harmony without this competition and trying to fit gender roles for the sake of protecting/satisfying ego. If we focus on “we” instead of “me”, things would flow better in relationships.
Most women in Ghana are not breadwinners. It's also inconsiderate that the woman is expected to work and cook and clean while the man goes home and does nothing. No man really loves his wife if he expects her to go to work through several pregnancies, come home, cook and clean while he does nothing all day it has nothing to do with ego and everything to do with consideration. Men that make you struggle don't care about you.
@@thewordsmith5440 In my opinion, this is the issue with today's society. Women are expected to work AND still be keepers of the house AND take care of the children. That's a lot. Many women are not putting up with it anymore.
Good morning
Yay
I got red leather seat 😂🙃. But its just an R/T so still in the safe zone
Quick question how come it takes multiple relationships to get things in order. Why not you and that one person fight through those problems together?
Most likely because it takes two to tango. I'm going through that right now.
No persons value should be solely based on money. It’s all about money, money, money these days. What about character, morals or values?? Bags come and go. What will you be left with in the end of it all?
Exactly I date myself . Stay away from humans
This just goes to show relationships these days are purely financial in the eyes of many. Finances are certainly important but in the past it was also a social contract to boost community. Dating can be free or can save both parties money if done correctly. Pushing this narrative does not help the black community and it only supports consumerism. Nothing wrong with monetary wealth but lets be ethical, logical and approach things from a holistic perspective.
Hmm interesting
So, i may be misunderstanding. But are you saying that a teacher shouldn't date?
🙃How did it end? 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes Sir
soft life me Boo
I have cloth seats. 😂
Love to see successful black people. That being said, these folks are not gonna help you get married or have a functioning relationship 😂 I have heard Cyrus say on another platform that modern relationships are OVER and not gonna be leading to marriage and he's right. Cyrus wasnt able to say thr truth here because of the type of platform this is, but he knows the truth 😂 lowkey I think AO knows the truth too but just panders to his audience of women because of his brand.
Every guy I date eventually get intimidated and try to compete. I feel penalized because I’m successful and living my life that I have built. It’s sad out here
Did you help facilitate that feeling they had?
I think the issue is that men who have money are looking to provide, while women with money are looking to add someone with more money. Women with dollars are not looking to be providers.
What world are yall living in right now 😂
I’m so tired of the masculine feminine energy convo.
The 42 Yr old woman gives an example of toxic feminist. Why are you dating multiple people with no intention on marriage? This is 304 behavior
Kevin Sameuls said it best...there is no FREE LUNCH!!!! Lead with your wallet fellas!!!! Let your women bask in her feminine energy!