Being A Man Doesn't Make You Automatically A Leader In A Marriage ~ Psychologist Dr. Tolu Reveals
Вставка
- Опубліковано 26 сер 2024
- On today's show, the ladies were joined by Dr. Tolulope, a mental health advocate, to discuss narcissistic behavior in marriages and how it intersects with traditional African male culture.
Share your view on the matter
#naijaentertainmentnews
#NigerianCelebs #NollywoodGist #AfrobeatMusic #AfricanEntertainment #NigerianMusicIndustry #NaijaMovieIndustry #NaijaCelebrities #NaijaEntertainmentTV
#NigerianEntertainmentIndustry #NaijaShowbiz
The ability to know when to delegate roles is part of good leadership. The worst case scenario I have seen is begging a "stubborn" man to take his health seriously by either his wife or children. Helping each other out in a family unit is the best. A child could even have more knowledge in some situations and help out their parents tremendously if they'll listen. Self awareness is a good quality of leadership and a leader does not have to be the one doing everything. What happens when the leader needs help, if he's been so uptight all his life. Balance is important.
This is so much sense right here.👍
My advise for anyone listening to this particular video, you better use your head if truly you cares for your marriage.
It is quite funny how we suddenly apply the scriptures to a home whose foundation was not laid on the Scriptures.
Narcissism cannot thrive in a home that the foundation is built on the scriptures and parties involved are putting in the required effort to nurture the home.
God did not ordain marriage to be a master-servant relationship. It is companionship. We complement each other. Where you are weak,I am strong and vice versa.
God ordained the man to be the head of the home. However, this man is not without a head too. As the wife is submitted to the husband, so is the husband submitted to Christ. It is quite impossible for either of the parties to be narcissistic when they both are submitted to Christ and seek each other's good.
Leadership is not control, it is not manipulation, it is not coercion. It is simply an act of service. As a matter of fact, a leader is the chief servant. We lead by example.
Good job ladies of your view. Happy 11th anniversary once again.
I have said the problems in many marriages are escalating because of the so-called therapist many partners are visiting.
So if there are things i learnt from this which i agree is that A man is a leader in the marriage by position he is expected to carry the family on the right path. But then overtime situations can make that leadership role to change and then the woman assumes it. One thing i have come to understand when it comes to marriage is that as a woman never fight a man for his position. Don't struggle with him on that, give him that respect he deserves. There can only be one captain in the ship pending when circumstances change then a new captain can come on board.
This woman isn't a fixer. People should be mindful of the kind of therapists they go to
A therapist is not supposed to be a fixer. They guide you on how to make your own logical decisions.
And that is the main reason men don't go to therapy because of feminist therapist like this.. They are destructive at best. Goddamn
@@benb4481she ain't guiding shit bro..
Good day everyone, please if our husbands cannot take lessons for a better home, let's Start teaching our young sons how to be good husbands for a greater tomorrow. God bless you all
One of the duties of a leader is to serve. So if a man is the leader, why aren't they serving? If your understanding of a leader is just to only command everybody then you don't know anything.
In my own opinion, I think men should be the leader in a home, but the problem is many men are irresponsible and lack leadership skills, instead of them to go learn, they use ego kill the woman who has the skills. This type of topic should be discussed by men who are true leaders, leading humbly well in their homes so other men can learn from them and not see it as women telling them what to do. Mne with good leadership skill should start organizing seminars for their fellow men who are lacking in these areas. Even God wants men to lead, hence he created Adam first and put him in charge.
God bless you
What is that laughter from Festus the caller?😂😂🤣
Hmmm permission, master, why not discussion, mutual respect, why not areas of leadership, a good leader knows areas of strength and even delegates
Women should not be Enablers. I totally agree. When u are not being treated well, pls speak up to ur partner. The reason y domestic violence is increasing is coz some women have accepted it as the way of life. No way! We all deserve to be treated well and whenever a spouse wants to suppress u knowingly or unknowingly,in my view u should respectfully bt firmly tell him u wont accept it. Marry your friend e get y, coz u can say ur mind freely in a mature , peaceful and loving way wenever their head dey touch.
So true.
Marriage is about teamwork if Nigerian would understand that our marriages will be so much better
The teamwork marriages in US and Europe, how well are they doing? Na break up we hear every now and then.
@ifeanyieze8818 breakup and divorces are the welldone.
@@ifeanyieze8818 Only God will help us. What I have noticed is when couples resent each other for so long for one reason or the other, there will be a form of neglect once they get so old. One may have an excuse to stay permanently with a Child while another maybe so immersed in something else. The best thing is for couples to be friends and work through their issues before they get so old. Married but single in old age is not the best.
@@ifeanyieze8818not only that women are the ones filing for divorce with all the equality they have 😊
@@ifeanyieze8818 this is true about the breakup, but Nigeria marriages are the same situation. The only differences we are not allowed to admit it because of culture so people stay together because of what people will say if they break up not because they’re happy.
I rarely agree with morayo but the example she sighted with her experience was powerful
Big up her❤
There is a leadership by role, there is a leadership that is earned through actions and inactions projected. As a man, it is better to choose the latter. It supercedes the role play leadership especially when dealing with relationships. Men,pls learn. Women are speaking up and awareness has woke😂
Don't be surprised this woman may not be practicing what's teaching,
I love what's teaching until she says, if you're not bringing much to the table means you're not the leader, There's a difference between being a leader and having leadership skills,
Asper marriage concerns biblically husband is the leads the home, he might not have the ability and quality to lead right, but that doesn't take away his position,
Moreso it is possible for two leaders at home(the virtue of the husband and virtue of the skills and ability of the wife,
They can co-exist,it determines maturity and understanding(respect and knowing your limits).
You people are always quick to quote that man is the head of the home but you don't remember to finish the quote by reading the entire instruction in the Bible. You lift certain sentences to justify your point but try to have a deep understanding and practice the full verse.
@estheradeogun6966 so what does the Bible say?
Foolishness is leaving US entering Nigeria
She is right!’ 100%
Ladies, this conversation is long overdue in our society. Women should not be “invisible” in their own marriages.
The way forward is Partnership where both parties alternate between leadership and follower-ship as both men and women are equally brilliant and wise.
As a woman, we need to stop enabling a narcissist behavior by going to seek “permission” and even ignorantly give him ideas on how to suppress you.
What a shame! So money equals leadership in marriage? This woman should be banned from practising counselling.
Once a woman comes to the public to teach women or remind them that they are human beings, with their rights, dreams and aspiration and not to be trampled upon and to refuse subjugation, boom! People will come with all sorts of comments about how she's a home breaker, doesn't practice what she's saying, is not submissive and bla bla!
It's kuku just an advice. Women that want to continue living in bondage may do so, men that enjoy lording it over their wives, who in turn accept it may continue to do so.
However, there are working and happy marriages where spouses respect each other; the man honours and respects his wife, the wife honours and respects her husband. They both raise godly children. Nobody is trampled upon, one party isnt suffering so that marriage can subsist.
In such homes, tge husbands truly love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave his life for her, and then, their wives respect and submit to them because who wouldn't to such a spouse.
But it's not by force oo..after all, shey narcissistic men shouldn't have wives ni?😅
Ladies should be more objective by inviting or involving men in this discussion.
Okay.
Exactly
It is glaringly apparent that we are the ones that allow men hold us back. We are the ones that put ourselves in invisible chains. We are our own problem.
100% we have been professional enablers!
@@bibifrancis758it is not late dear. Maybe you have made the mistake. Going forward teach your daughters how to propose to their future husbands, marry them and pay their groom price. Then we see how the marriages will play out.
@@ifeanyieze8818 why bring children into this because I said women have enabled men’s bad behaviour? Nigerians never seize to amaze me!
Morayo I used to disagree with you on many of your views that are not consistent with the word of God,but today I agree with you on your example using Ibukun Awosika saying the man is the head of the home and that being head of his wife is a God given role and not about what he brings to the table....that Dr is confused,she has read books that are anti gospel...
Very confused person.
The Bible ascribes the headship of the home to the man, but he has to practice the qualities of headship to be a true leader of his home
Man is the leader thats is why you have to choose your leader (husband) well.
Mate selection is as important as marriage outcomes.
What does the Bible say about narcissism? The book of proverbs addresses this concept by referring to narcissistic behaviour as foolishness... The fool makes his own rules, scoffs at rebuke and disregards the harm his actions may cause...
The Bible says a leader should serve and not to rule without wisdom...
Thanks to the ladies ❤
If women listen to this doctor, they will run into trouble innthe long run. Men won't talk too much, but when they take action it destroys so many things. Women submit to you husbands, shikena!
I totally disagree to what this doctor said.
therapists that need therapist......the greatest therapist is God almighty and his standards are what drives ant system including marriage.
The Bible says, the man is the head of the family as Christ is the head of the church, not the leader. Please let's check the scriptures and our understanding of the scriptures very well. Do all the men claiming to be the leader over their partner practices what Christ, who is the head of the church preaches. Let us be wise. If you are the leader in your home, you don't need to fight to gain the position and you lead by example.
The only respectful woman among you the view that I respected so much and value is that lady lawyer , please don't join them when they became toxic .
So what's the point in arguing who the leader of a home should be? Is there any dragging about it?
I just pity people fellowing this type of human being nawa oh
I tell my husband where I am going for his information and in case of emergency not to take permission from him. Period.
Story. Depends on the man you have body go tell you.
Can circumstances or situations upturn the Scriptural commandment or affirmation as far as leadership is concerned in marriage?
Wisdom is profitable to direct.
God bless you bro
So if a man is not a leader , then the wife is now a leader in the family? These r the people that deceive women! Even the psychologist herself, trace her in her own marriages. She is now misleading other women
Infact I am concerned here, maybe I have to buy into the rantings of the new trends of transgender, transvestite, morbid and intersex, because most of these panel sounds like male gender or question of hormones 🤔 ?
Wait so if the man is not the leader, the role should be left open?? Bcaz God forbid the woman takes on the role?? Please let’s leave this nonsensical mindset behind.
I don’t know why this issue of leadership is so hard for men it doesn’t matter who is leading the family you can both lead
A woman must submit to her head( husband)in all things and the man must love his wife like Christ loves the church..and this is not about anyone being subservient or slave to another. If Christ in the lives of the husband and wife they would be led by The Spirit of God in taking decisions,etc.
Madam in marriage wether you like it or not men are the leaders in marriage
This Dr. is very wrong. I pity her clients.
This is the worst guest ever. 11:55 She is pretty much saying that a woman should get married then wait for him to earn her respect 😂😂 This is categorically silly. How do you marry someone that you do not respect? The issue here is really a lack of accountability from this guest.
Let them be deceiving younger girls on TV. Morayo and co go home and challenge your husbands let's see
Lol
Exactly 😂😂😂. When they get home, they will become submissive.
This guest is a bad influence. Women don't listen to her; she'll break your homes. Also find out if she's married or not?
The man is the leader at home.
Thanks and God bless you Murayo!
Scripturally, biblically, blablablaically. Abeg jare. Anything to put women in their percieved place is always welcome 😂
She is spitting rubbish...if she is married, she is getting worse than everything she is saying...And if she is not married, she will collect the husband of her client...Na Dem ooo
This woman therapist is destructive at best.
Men please be careful of this type of women that’s challenging men likewise many human beings are challenging God
I pity those that are going to this so called Dr 👩⚕️ for therapy
There is a leadership by role, there is a leadership that is earned through actions and inactions projected. As a man, it is better to choose the latter. It supercedes the role play leadership especially when dealing with relationships. Men,pls learn. Women are speaking up and awareness has woke😂