The Female Narcissist
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2024
- the Female Narcissist Hidden Toxic Traits: Selective Amnesia #narcissisticwomen #narcissism #theenlightenedtarget #npd #clusterb
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It is too difficult for them to remember all of their deceitfulness.
Yes I believe this is right I remember someone I know had a boyfriend, he recorded her behaviors, he tried showing her as proof but she didn't want to watch 😢😢
The female covert narcissist's body count is never-ending. They tell every guy total lies about their past.
Spot on. Lots of narcissists behave as if nothing has happened. They just mess with your mind. Sick stuff.
Yes it's strange behaviors 😢
Too true! They conveniently remember specifics that help them or make you look bad smh
Yes ! In fact, they will often try to convince others that they had NO involvement in the REAL CRIMES/REAL ABUSE, or Tort Law offenses !
I call it “Rules for thee but not for me”
that is a great quote that totally sums it up!!!! I will remember that as a form of self protection from them!!!
So true..they are always about the image they showcase
Yup, conveniently forget all their bs
So true, and they're so accusatory if you dare attempt to remind them orcorrect their mistake.
I had told the ex that I was going to start recording conversations so I could play them back when this happened.
Similarly I started communicating by text to prove to my brother my NM mother was triangulating and giving different messages to us both so we'd argue and go to her. She'd do anything to get the attention and paint me as the scape goat to her flying monkies.😢
I have found this to be true in women, in particular, who I now realise exhibit narcissistic traits. They also condemn others for doing to them things they have done to you in the past, or they will use anything to try to paint you in a bad light.
Sounds just like the male narcissist!!!
A narcissist is a narcissist regardless of gender.
Usually the female ones are covert and the male ones are grandiose, it be can mixed or even someone has both.
Yes ! Thank you Jill ! They may (or may not) feign illness to avoid detection, or try to convince others that they had zero involvement in someone's victimization.
Yeah. Flyin monkeys do that too😮😮😮
Yes, I was called a liar about everything they really did and said….
I was called a liar and I don't even speak
22 years married to a female covert/malignant physician narcissist.
I'm an empath with abandonment upbringing.
Because my wife was a doctor she could easily convince you that she was diagnosing me and I was always at fault.
I have learned that God has rescued me from a living hell.
The lying cheating sabotage if events and holidays, she is a shopaholic and trained her daughter to do the same.
I'm sad broken defeated and grateful beyond description that I'm no longer under her lying tongue.
Yes, I've been called a Liar, crazy, and that I torment others 's (and Who knows what else)... All the things that They do!
It's called Projection.
This is so spot-on & hits so close to home for me, both in the family and in the relationship contexts.
The lack of accountability, fake love, future-faking, indifference, hypocrisy, double-standards. The BS apologies such as saying, “I’m sorry YOU FEEL that way” vs “I’m sorry I said that or made you feel that way”. They only want to put “the past in the past” and “move forward” ONLY on their watch.
Also: i was always expected to put up with their water-works when they wouldn’t even offer me a hug, positive words when I could have used them, etc. I would pick up the phone first ring when they’d pour their hearts and souls out… and I was constantly giving to faults, to the detriment to myself & my health.
Lol, just this morning she saw me make a cup of coffee, then says is that my coffee? Seriously imagined that she made it and wanted to just take mine. Wr have been separated for a few years and seldom interact except when im at the house to take the kids to school. Its so true!!!
👀
You just described my former friend/colleague. She was what we now refer to as the stereotypical common garden variety everyday Karen. Like most Karens, at bare minimum, she had a really huge opinion of herself, an even more huge fragile ego, no respect for boundaries, zero comprehension of the word no and nothing resembling a sense of accountability. When confronted, she would go into full-on denials, making excuses, delection, blame-shifting or even spouting her favorite line of “I don't remember that.”
She lived for stirring up drama and creating conflict out of thin air only to completely run for cover once everything boiled over. She also told everybody something different never thinking beyond the moment or her instant sense of immediate gratification to see the big picture or anticipate the eventual fallout of her behavior.
She was a massive credit thief, often stole other people's work and tried to take all the credit for a job well done. Once the initial rush from the unearned praise faded, the sudden realization of new responsibilities she had taken upon her shoulders hit her like a ton of bricks. This led her to underperforming, sloughing her work off on everyone else, making a series of excuses for why work wasn't getting done and pissing off all of her colleagues.
She excelled at smear campaigns in both verbal and written form. I had warned her numerous times that what she was doing constituted slander and libel not to mention defamation of character. She didn't want to hear it because she had "a right to free speech” and she could say “whatever she wanted.” There was no getting through to her that freedom of speech did not mean freedom of consequences of speaking freely. Her constant need to be in the spotlight, have all eyes on her and full undivided attention made her unbearable to be around but it wasn't her worst attribute. It was her total failure to ever admit when she was wrong or acknowledge that she wasn't always right.
It should come as no surprise whatsoever whenever she would go off on one of her tizzies, she often got into flame wars with people where she trashed talked a fellow colleague. In one particular instance, it was me. I had seen screenshots. Her toxic middle school mean girl behavior had rubbed a lot of people the wrong way and she had fewer allies than she believed.
When productivity hit a standstill and we were in danger of losing a gig that would have paid everyone nicely (not to mention it would have boosted all of our careers) she called me up flipping out. I knew her too well by that point so I just started poking holes through all of her explanations by not letting her speak.
I asked her what made her think I didn't already know about the conflict. I added that I talked to people other than her. When she kept trying to side step and continue with her rehearsed narrative, I told her I had seen the emails. She tried to continue and then I said: “I'm looking at the emails right now.” She was silent. It was clear she was trying to come up with more convincing lies so I fire her.
In addition to the slander, libel, defamation of character and creating a hostile work environment, she had committed multi levels of fraud, including theft of intellectual property and plagiarism. Still silent, I asked her: “Did you really think you would get away with this? When this went to finalization of contracts, you would have had to provide proof of ownership. You wouldn't be able to do that because it's not your intellectual property!”
Cue the waterworks. She promised she would change, do better, that she needed the job, not to do this to my kids (her daughter was grown and her son was almost done with high school), threats to tell her husband (whom she cheated on repeatedly), etc.
I told her to stop the bullshit. I then asked her something along the lines of: "Do you really think that everyone doesn't already know what you did? I'm not going to bargain or listen to your excuses. You promised last time that you would fly right, be better, play by the rules and just generally not be a total bitch to everyone anymore. Obviously you got comfortable again. I'm done. You're fired.”
She went dead silent. I continued.
“Now you can go and tell everyone whatever you want about why everything has come to a screeching halt. You can scream until you're hoarse while playing the victim for all I care. However, if my name falls out of your mouth, if you blame me at all or try to do anything the materials you were caught trying to plagiarize, I will find out. Keep in mind, every person that you could possibly talk to, talk to me. None of them like you and your reputation precedes you. You're a grifter with zero skills or talent. If I were you, I would look into early retirement. You see? I haven't trusted you for quite some time. Now I just don't like you. Get a life. One that doesn't involve me.”
I ended the call and never heard from her again.
They remember to forget things!!!!!😂
They know what they’ve done. They can’t face any sort of accountability or criticism, so they will use any form of manipulation to deflect any sort of responsibility. Downfall- they always think they are so much smarter than everyone else, and they really aren’t all that sharp. ❤
True and true. Covert narcissist woman I know and she is exactly 💯 like that. In the public they are someone else. That lady I have shame for her she is getting exposed in front of everybody now. No supplies, no help. She is alone.
You nailed it.... sometimes it can look like they're lying!
They know what they did and are feigning illness, or are blatantly LYING without faking illness.
I don't want to take away from the topic at all but since I started taking in the knowledge you provide which has been super helpful, thanks for that. I always thought your a very beautiful lady. The way you look here made me say so. Just a compliment to end the weekend and bring on good vibes for the week ahead. Thank you so much as this topic is soul crushing when not equipped with what actually is going on. 💎💖🌹
Yes my mother and her daughters exactly 💯
😢😢😢
I so love your content.. you've given me so many answers and validated my expierence. It means the world to me! I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I'm able to piece it back together because of caring people like you. 😊
I'm so glad!
They remember a lot of things that never happened.
This is what I lived through too.
Yes, happened to me.
Same 😂 my personal favourite is when they're carring on making you miserable then the phone rings and then it's all perfect happy as then hang up the phone and go straight back to being horrible and mean 😂got rid of her 10yrs ago now she's never follow the courts orders for visitation with the kid just does whatever she wants 😂 I personally don't care I just want to see the kid so usually I pretend that I'm going away or have a girlfriend coming over then like magic I get to see my kid😂
@@DerrickMooney-jq4ww - I just thought that was normal.
🙈🙀
@@michaelgarrow3239I used to be a glider pilot instructor flying about 100hrs a year four years I was with her only had one hour logged in the logbook I gave up everything trying to make her happy I should of dug my heals in and not change anything I was doing trying to get back into flying again this year
My mother is the queen of this method.
Growing up was a nightmare because she had such terrible, unresolved anger issues and used to scream EVERY SINGLE DAY MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. She terrorized the family with her temper.
She "can't remember" any of it.
Her favorite phrase when I would go to her for help when my brother was bullying me was "GET OVER IT!" I told her recently she said it so much growing up that I was going to put it on her tombstone.
"I never said that!"
Then if she never said it, why would I joke about putting it on her tombstone? (I wasn't joking.)
Some of the horrible things she did to me that really, deeply hurt me she conveniently can't remember.
My old man is made of Teflon. My mother is a battering ram. Neither of them will accept accountability or apologize for anything they did. They both pretend the abuse never happened, and then they gaslight and DARVO me when I say anything. They're not allowed to feel bad because of their pwecious widdle feewings, but they had zero trouble bulldozing mine for four decades.
That's cool. That's fine. No contact is coming for them all. I know everything I need to.
Thanks, Jill!
Sorry to hear that 😢😢 I feel breaking away from toxic family is more difficult than toxic friends and intimate relationships. But we all have our limits when we're ready to put in boundaries. I wish you luck ❤
Yes 100% True!!!!!!
Initially I used to joke and call it convenient amnesia, now after 23yrs I know is a toxic mind games from a narcissist aimed at confuse and control me.
Oh my goodness. This is exactly what my ex wife was like when I questioned her about her actions and attitudes throughout our relationship/marriage/relationship (yes I let her come back into my life multiple times) the month before I kicked her out of my home. There’s only so much anyone can put up with and when she was denying almost anything she did I knew then and there I was never going to see a change in her and my life was going to be hell on earth till I died.
Do I miss her? Absolutely. The peace of my life and just spending time with our children only is so much more valuable.
Thank you. Lovely , great help and teaching.
Mine would "forget" she said 15 mins prior in marriage counseling...then tell the therapist she didnt say that.
She also did that when a RECORDED CONVERSATION was referenced. Craziness
Complete truth .. lived it .
You dont forget an insult, or violation of boundaries. Nope you remember everything. So if the narc conveniently forgets, im quite happy to remind them of their wrongdoing in gory detail. Naturally they will be offended that you didnt let the offense go. Good. Offending them should be the goal for all of us. They cant stand the real world, so give them a great big dose of REALITY!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Every human alive today!!!!
My mother. She conveniently forgot I was in foster care from 10 until 18. She also forgot she smoked crack. Her only memory of my childhood is me running into the house because I wasn’t supposed to be outside playing while she was at work. This never happened because she never had a job. We don’t get along because I will not live in her delusions and she can’t take the truth.
She’s speaking of my mother 😢 I had to learn this about her the hard way and my life was destroyed. Father not around or concerned enough.
🥳 Wow this just explained so much of something for me. 🙏 Thank you.
My stepmother used to do this a lot of the time's..... She would play dumb too
Thank you ❤
It's also an ability to gaslighting by making things up.
100% correct!! Very sick individuals
Facts thank you ma'am
He had selective hearing, selective sight and definitely selective amnesia, just like its mother.
This is about female covert narcissist darlin.
Like a narcissistic mother forgetting the birthday of a child.
My Mom went out on a date on my sixteenth birthday, and left me home alone. My parents divorce wasn't final yet, and that really hurt me as a young woman.
@@edelweissdebergbaldrian7696 I'm sorry ❤
@@edelweissdebergbaldrian7696 That's horrible, sorry to hear that. Sending hugs 🤗
Very very and very true
That's not "selective amnesia."
That's merely the rather typical, everyday liar.
Yes,very true
Oh absolutely!!!!
And when they can no longer utilize that then the complete smear campaign of their target begins..
The Word is Narrative says a lot about narcissistic personality....Thier lies and creative amnesia to prove what they "Say" happened...m😡🤬
Yep.
We have known this since rhe beginning of time. This is why we warn the young men to watch for fake tears.
thanks for the video 🙏
Wow, you just described a person I know. Now I'm afraid 😮
That selective amnesia is also called plausible deniability. You can't be accused of something if you don't know anything about it
Truths
True.
Completely true.
Truth! Love your lip color BTW!
Correct
It’s all about the image!
Yes they will
Well I have a crappy memory sometimes and it's not because it's convenient, but rather it is pretty embarrassing sometimes! Why would I want to forget something dear to me?
Funny my boyfriend will do this. He broke my phone when we were fighting, bought me a new (cheaper) phone and told me when he gets more money he will buy me the better phone. Fast forward 2 months he buys himself a brand new phone and when i brought up the fact that he still hasnt replaced my phone he told me he would but I would have to remind him.. all while saying "its just a shame that the phone you already have is going to waste" like hes trying to make me feel even worse about the situation so i wont ask again.. i probably wont ask because it makes me feel like shit
Sometimes it comes along with other traits that make me think that it might be a different personality or alter.
That was my mom’s favorite go to
You are right Mrs. Wise! This is always the case! I am Very Familiar with their character patterns! Wishing you the best morning possible, because I know for you to have all of this truthful knowledge, you had to go through a whole heep of things( 5 feet apart). Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. God sees what you are doing and it is not in vain! May God and you take care of you, Mrs.Wise.
My covert narcissist ex-wife believed her own lies. Quite a soulless woman.
OMG 🙏🙏🙏
Beautiful you ❤️
Yeah my mother says she "disremembers" things
These demons are 😈 evil 😈
Intentionally forget your birthday,my ex Marie hampson didn't even get me a card ,she always said she's been really bizzy at work, she made sure I didn't forget her birthday, paracites
Si true
Ex is covert….memory like you wouldnt believe it….but when the blame game was going she had the memory of an Elephant
They both do it and I know that because my Mother and Ex both do it. No one is perfect we all lie but you admit it and move on. Sometimes we do things in response to what’s already been done to us.
Nice look you got going today. 👍🏻
The liars weaken their own character in my experience
I like to call it convenient amnesia
💯
Then they convince you that you are twisting their words, manipulating them and forgetting the things you said 😅
I’ve seen this, with one narcissistic person, when you say something they didn’t want to admit to doing, saying or even knowing about. Their response is, “Ohhhhhhh.” The response is made to look like they didn’t know, while giving them a moment to come up with a fake response. Meanwhile, they might’ve been the agent of what happened, the entire time.
It can take some time, to get to know, when a person doesn’t know or is faking not knowing. You also have to realize that, when it is ongoing, it’s likely intentional, even if it appears benign or by happenstance or they’re indifferent to or innocent of it. Perhaps, for them, you being hurt, on a consistent basis, is the norm for them, that they want you to become normalized to.
I work for someone who has wanted to make me feel that what they’re doing isn’t what’s actually happening (gaslighting). I know when they’re lying, because I know they’re stupid enough to not know I’m not stupid and know when they’re lying and making things up. Meanwhile, things are going smoothly and according to their normalcy (plan). They also know I can’t do anything about it, but quit. I think management is catching on. But I don’t know if they’ll do anything about it. So, with the economy, I may die on the vine here.
The worst person I know for this is actually a male friend. He will categorically deny things you remember him saying and treat me like I’m stupid for bringing it up.
Which is why i don't accept phone calls from them. I only talk to them via text messages. So i have proof of what they say to me, and when.
There's a flip side to this I think too that I notice with mine she actually will say that I said things that I didn't say and that I misremembering it
You are 100 percent correct on this, like everything you’ve mentioned! Discovered this way later than I should have, but I divorced most of my family 20 years ago because of this and other narcissistic actions..
Yep. That's my mother
That is my sister!!! “I don’t remember that???? Or she will take one situation and twist it to her liking. A lie she r really believes to be true.
And families of these individuals are willing to do the same for them, while defiling your name.
That's my aunt hands down...
They will say “prove it”. That’s a weird understanding of social manners. Most of us want a “stand-alone” good reputation where people have confidence in us. The narcissist isn’t interested in that.
I've known a female and a male narcissist.
Conveniently forget or play dumb. So frustrating. But they know that so it's just another strategy, from my experience, for the male and or female narc.
Jill, you are such a beautiful women, and classy, and authentic .. please .. you dont need to use a filter ❤❤
Yes, she been very manipulative towards me, I’m curious if her f-buddy knows my ex well, or is she only showing and telling on a need to know basis…karma is coming for my ex, and will mean, Satan will be defeated in her own mind…
My mother did this last night
yes they do do this!! Omg, they are so conniving and manipulative and do this and very often!! Thanks for confirming this awful behavior that they do have. ❤❤🎉🎉
100%
💯 on 🎯!!
That's what my husband does
I feel like many of us that grew up in difficult homes will exhibit this to some extent to protect ourselves?