Amazing video, I've learnt 11 different elements that are really... I don't know how to explain it because I'm french and I'm only 17, but it's WOW ! More seriously for 2 years I think I'm trying to have such a caracter. Moreover I'm always wearing a shirt and a kind of jacket, and m'y friend at school are stonished, they seing me as a trustful guy, a gentleman and every body says that I'm really gentle. It's normal it's my life philosophy.
Nr. 12 - be honest, but not discourteous Nr. 13 - do not get involved in gossip, do not gossip Nr. 14 - accept the opinion of others, stand to your opinion Nr. 15 - be unprejudiced Nr. 16 - if you argue, don't shout
I like to ask "if you could go anywhere and in any decade or century, where would you go?". This works well because it puts them in a great state of mind, it makes them smile and use their imagine.
People like to be remembered, so saying things like "I remember you mentioning that cruise you went on last year," or whatever pertains to the conversation. Also, sending thank you cards for invitations or gifts. As well as birthday cards and postcards. They are tiny little things but show that you thought about them and made an extra effort to express gratitude. Also, I find using a person's name more often, in a natural way, makes people feel good which is the mission of good etiquette.
@Sven at 6:19 "wow you wernt always that way" erm you still aren't well dressed! I'll be giving you some fashion tips Real men can you look good in a White T Shirt and a pair of denim jeans with casual shoes/trainers??? If yes then you are a winner If no then you have to improve yourself We all have to improve ourselves
Video summary: "1 - Be yourself 2 - Learn conversation starters 3 - Give compliments 4 - Learn how to accept a compliment 5 - Use self-deprecating humor 6 - Focus on listening 7 - Ask more questions [preferably smart ones] 8 - Be vulnerable 9 - Minimize complaining 10 - Make everyone feel included and comfortable 11 - Embrace a positive attitude Remember, you can't force everyone to like you."
Fly Swatter Good point about the bad breath. Some people have chronic bad breath that is not treatable with normal brushing, mouthwash, gum, etc. Their bad breath is caused by sulfur compounds they have no control over. They need to use a toothbrush or wash by Oxyfresh or Closys or Smartmouth, which break the sulfur bonds for about 6 hours. It will change their lives.
Hey Raphael, I’m a young guy from Denmark, and I wanted to know where I could buy a dupioni silk suit like the grey one al Pacino wears in godfather part 2. I’ve looked many places for a tailor, but I don’t think we got that kind of quality over here. So where would be a good place to buy a suit like that?
Imraan Dawood you can definitely talk about movies that heavily involve cars like The Fast and The Furious or American graffiti for example and maybe point out what style of cars you like, and then ask what style cars they like, or vice versa, you can talk about what genre of movies you like and ask what genre they like and maybe point out some good car movies and ask if they’ve seen them and also start talking about your favorite car in one of those particular movies. Just some food for thought.
I am a woman but i am still eatching this channel because some of the videos are not only for men, most of the videos are lovely, thank you for your good work!
As someone with severely lacking social skills and a debilitating anxiety, I automatically feel like I would come across a try-hard whenever I'd try one of the active ones you talk about. Also, you cannot make fun of yourself if you are really insecure. In essence, just be stable, not depressed and normal
After watching this video I managed to strengthen a few relationships with my friends. Until recently I never thought being vulnerable would be an asset however a close friend opened up to me more and I was able to better understand and help them. So I have to thank you for this video as it really has helped.
Usually when I get a compliment, I am self-deprecating and say something to the effect of, "no, it's just that the zipper on these pants is old. My eyes are up here, by the way."
If you like complaining, try selling it like a standup. Complaining can be made into jokes, but it certainly won't sustain a conversation, so find something to go with it.
As a teenager I know its going to take a decade or more in order to afford dressing like a gentleman. But hey, a gentleman isn't a gentleman if he doesn't act like one so I appreciate these kind of videos, Raphael!
carry on the good work. i like your videos a lot. antonio has reacted to your video....just ignore it....he is so annoining. his manners n presenting skill, i reserve my comment. thank you. i hv learned a lot frombyou.
Good video! I agree with more or less everything you said, but I have a minor addition to make: Careful with #10 because there are people who are much more comfortable in the background when in a group situation and they will not appreciate to be put on spot. I know what I am talking about.^^ People like that appreciate it much more if they are approached under four eyes (is that a phrase in English?).
People like these really appreciate it if you say to them "Oh, you're so silent! Come on, say something!" It works best if you immediately interrupt them when they finally say something. /sarcasm
I was always wondering how to be funny without hurting other, I'm a very kind person, and strangely it never came throug my mind to use self mockery as much, thanks Raphaël
Hello Raphael! I want to ask you a question : I'm currently in high school and want to be a neurosurgeon when i graduate. I think of buying a gold lapel pin with the esculap (the sign of doctors) but i'm afraid it might come out as too pretentious. What do you think? PS: Great video!
Not being judgmental is important. When I see the video I came here expecting that Sven would talk about peasants again and how to handle them, etc. To my surprise I found it very humble and useful.
Making a genuine effort, at ANY of these things, will put you somewhere near the top of the social skills ladder. I'm constantly shocked by how unlikeable nearly everyone i meet under 40 is. There's an enormous break in social skills starting somewhere in the 80s and it's to the point where I'd rather hang out with the WWII generation listening to their fascinating stories than trying to have an enjoyable conversation with people younger than me. And I'm 42. I'll give a concrete example: my building has a single, small elevator so you're constantly riding with neighbors, and I'd say about 90% of the time anyone you greet under 40 will completely ignore you while anyone over 40 will smile and say hi. If you walk into an under 40 social gathering don't expect the host or anyone else to introduce you to others, or even greet you half the time. Socialize with older people and you will almost always be greeted and introduced to facilitate conversations. These are REALLY basic social conventions that exist for a reason. For whatever cause most young (Americans) aren't learning them and it makes them much less likeable.
Not only there in US. I leave in Italy and I work in a great University here in Milan (the most advanced city in Italy). I go back and forth by public transport as I live 35km far and Milan by car is a disaster. I also noticed how people in their twenties often COMPLETELY ignore you (I'm 44 by the way), even when you do something polite, like on the tube making a bit more room for them (making sure they understand your move), for instance. Well, life Karma will make them bite the dust later, probably.
I believe it had to do with the internet diminishing the social life in a major way. Especially in the US where opportunities for social talks are so rarer due to everyone being forced to take a car to everywhere
Hey, Mr. Schneider. I love watching your videos and I love every tip you give, and I would like to ask, could you do a video on dressing well with medical eqipment on your body? I suffer from type one diabetes and because of this, I require an insulin pump that must be with me at all times (connected to me by tubing and a needle that's usually in my waist or stomach). There's a clip so I can put it on my waistband, but that ruins my silhouette and creates a visible bump under my coat whether it's on the inside or the outside of my trousers. I've tried wearing it on the inside of the waistband of my underwear but that's also awkward, and the weight of it creates a visible box shape when it's in my pocket. A video on this kind of thing for people who suffer from the same problem or also have similar issues/require special equipment that can mess with the look would be a dream come true!
I'm reminded to make a much more conscience effort to be a better listener. I find myself often anticipating my response, to further drive home my point, than I do to lending more concentration on truly listening to what the other person is saying and feeling. Yes, it may be a better tactic to "Win" and argument, but not so admirable when the goal is to have a two-sided conversation. An excellent video.
Another important thing I have learned could come under listening to others. If someone is telling you about something bad that happened to them, they are looking to be comforted. In this situation you should explain that you are sympathetic and will be there for them to listen to any further problems. You must never follow something like this by telling them about something similar that happened to you; this will make them feel unappreciated, will make them more upset, and they'll probably never come back to you. Similarly, if a friend is telling you about something great that happened to them, this means they trust you and that they are genuinely excited to share this with you. You should show that you are truly happy for them; that their joy causes you pleasure. This is not the time to break their trust by attempting to out-do them with something better that happened to you. Just listen and support your conversation partner. This could be effectively summarised as, 'don't talk about yourself too much.' We're all guilty of talking about ourselves too much sometimes, but when you do notice it happening, a good redeeming sentence is, "but that's enough about me, what about you?"
I like these, except for the self deprecating humor. I think it’s better to build up others rather then tear yourself down. It still shows humility and humor, but leaves others feeling better.
One trait that is likeable is competence. Only one field you shine in is enough. If you are simply an impostor people will recognize it in the long run. Your mother loves you no matter what, but if you want others to appreciate you be good at at least one thing. I don´t mean striving for an Ph.D. Simple things like grilling a steak to perfection or a rehearsed Imitation of your favourite movie scene can be enough. If you are really bad at something or not knowledgable in a field simply be honest. No one will like you less if you admit that you can´t read music or are not interested in e.g Soccer.
The trick to be more likeable is to line peoples pockets with money and listen to them when they brag without laughing at them. Then people will like you. Or, you could simply ignore if people like you or not. Its alot cheaper and easier.
Unfortunately the vast majority people in this world only care about themselves and no amount of techniques are going to change that, it needs to come from the heart and most people's hearts are rotten. That's why techniques have to be used, so it's not a genuine thing it's just a front.
It's not hard to be nice. Unfortunately a lot of guys i know think it's macho to put down others. If they get pulled up about it they say it's just banter and not to be so sensitive. It's a trend I've noticed more and more lately.
I find it humorous to think of a high school student going up to another and asking "Did you choose your profession or did your profession choose you?"
basically everyone should watch this
I agree This channel has been helping me become a better gentleman. And i thank this channel for it.
GREAT video - you guys killed it Raph!
Amazing video, I've learnt 11 different elements that are really... I don't know how to explain it because I'm french and I'm only 17, but it's WOW !
More seriously for 2 years I think I'm trying to have such a caracter.
Moreover I'm always wearing a shirt and a kind of jacket, and m'y friend at school are stonished, they seing me as a trustful guy, a gentleman and every body says that I'm really gentle. It's normal it's my life philosophy.
never seen you wear a turtle neck before! great look!
You can check out our recent guide to turtlenecks, here:
www.gentlemansgazette.com/turtleneck-guide/?
Thanks for watching!
- Preston
@@gentlemansgazette You forgot to say "Thank you". : ))
@@pattimcq8062 Preston didn't wear the turtleneck
Remember to not call people Peasants XD
Giraffe Football: You mean like in Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life? ; )
@@rollingtones1 No, I was just referring to the fact that the presenter says in other vids if you dont do certain things you'll look like a peasant
unless they really are.
Giraffe Football :))
I prefer the term "Pleb."
Nr. 12 - be honest, but not discourteous
Nr. 13 - do not get involved in gossip, do not gossip
Nr. 14 - accept the opinion of others, stand to your opinion
Nr. 15 - be unprejudiced
Nr. 16 - if you argue, don't shout
I like to ask "if you could go anywhere and in any decade or century, where would you go?". This works well because it puts them in a great state of mind, it makes them smile and use their imagine.
I'll ask her out by the end of this month. Wish me luck!
Good luck brother.
Good luck you've got this
Good luck!
How'd it go mate?
Hey, it's been ten months now and we haven't heard back from you. Hoping you did well!
People like to be remembered, so saying things like "I remember you mentioning that cruise you went on last year," or whatever pertains to the conversation. Also, sending thank you cards for invitations or gifts. As well as birthday cards and postcards. They are tiny little things but show that you thought about them and made an extra effort to express gratitude. Also, I find using a person's name more often, in a natural way, makes people feel good which is the mission of good etiquette.
That said, people can sometimes get creeped out when you remember and bring up details they've already forgotten.
Great tips! Thanks for sharing.
- Preston
@Sven at 6:19 "wow you wernt always that way" erm you still aren't well dressed!
I'll be giving you some fashion tips
Real men can you look good in a White T Shirt and a pair of denim jeans with casual shoes/trainers???
If yes then you are a winner
If no then you have to improve yourself
We all have to improve ourselves
Video summary:
"1 - Be yourself
2 - Learn conversation starters
3 - Give compliments
4 - Learn how to accept a compliment
5 - Use self-deprecating humor
6 - Focus on listening
7 - Ask more questions [preferably smart ones]
8 - Be vulnerable
9 - Minimize complaining
10 - Make everyone feel included and comfortable
11 - Embrace a positive attitude
Remember, you can't force everyone to like you."
Nr. 12: don't have body odor or bad breath. Speak well and don't dress like a slob. Don't interrupt people.
Kindergarten skills.
Fly Swatter Good point about the bad breath. Some people have chronic bad breath that is not treatable with normal brushing, mouthwash, gum, etc. Their bad breath is caused by sulfur compounds they have no control over. They need to use a toothbrush or wash by Oxyfresh or Closys or Smartmouth, which break the sulfur bonds for about 6 hours. It will change their lives.
Never have I ever disliked someone for dressing badly. Have you?
It's like I've found a "how to behave like a normal person" instruction manual, where were you in the 90s when I first needed you?
90s? Well, Raphael was probably still a teenager then and Preston was still a little kid.
Love the outfit Sven
Just love how you guys are acting all of these out. Highlight of my morning!
*To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment!*
*Ralph Waldo Emerson :)*
Thank you Mr. Schneider! Best Gentleman's channel on youtube, please never change!
"Hello, mister kingsman! " -That is what I hear from my colleagues.
A useful video with eleven excellent points.
These tips are especially true for those in a leadership position.
Additional tip - show deference to the elderly and infirm.
I never took videos like these seriously but if you tame your ignorance and think about these things you realize its all true. Great video.
And, in a social setting, don't be the guy that always has something to sell. I avoid the pyramid schemes like the plague.
Hey Raphael, I’m a young guy from Denmark, and I wanted to know where I could buy a dupioni silk suit like the grey one al Pacino wears in godfather part 2. I’ve looked many places for a tailor, but I don’t think we got that kind of quality over here. So where would be a good place to buy a suit like that?
How do you find segways into different topics luke from cars to movies
Imraan Dawood you can definitely talk about movies that heavily involve cars like The Fast and The Furious or American graffiti for example and maybe point out what style of cars you like, and then ask what style cars they like, or vice versa, you can talk about what genre of movies you like and ask what genre they like and maybe point out some good car movies and ask if they’ve seen them and also start talking about your favorite car in one of those particular movies. Just some food for thought.
@@magnetar2524 thanks
I am a woman but i am still eatching this channel because some of the videos are not only for men, most of the videos are lovely, thank you for your good work!
Love the video. Thanks for putting the notes in the description. Also Brown & Black is highly underrated.
As someone with severely lacking social skills and a debilitating anxiety, I automatically feel like I would come across a try-hard whenever I'd try one of the active ones you talk about. Also, you cannot make fun of yourself if you are really insecure.
In essence, just be stable, not depressed and normal
Yeesh, the Ellen DeGeneres part did not age well.
remember names and address people with their name!
After watching this video I managed to strengthen a few relationships with my friends.
Until recently I never thought being vulnerable would be an asset however a close friend opened up to me more and I was able to better understand and help them.
So I have to thank you for this video as it really has helped.
9:49 This can't be overemphasised! The last thing a person wants after a long and taxing day at work is a work-related question!
Nah that's just common sense.
It works because this video makes you more likeable.
One should not waste too much time and effort on the common folk and the peasants.
Usually when I get a compliment, I am self-deprecating and say something to the effect of, "no, it's just that the zipper on these pants is old. My eyes are up here, by the way."
When you get a compliment it is not time to crack a joke. Just say thanks and smile, anything else is awkward.
My office blokes like me cause I sneak in beer at lunch
Haha wow 😂
11:02 He act as my sim when he's angry
Remember peoples names and say it at every possible opportunity, without seeming like you’re obsessed with them
People who need to watch this
... and people who watch this
constitutes completely disjoint sets
I think that conan is the better user of self deprecating humor.
What's the use... I'm always making fun comments here and you never answer! lol ;-)
Great content love your videos. I’m learning a lot
Wise words here...good to see Sven and Preston doing their thing with the acting/vignettes...I like you guys, yes I do :-)
Tony
Mr Schneider, can you Please number your video's. so that we can follow everything in order. There are to much video's.
This guy gives me such a weird vibe, but I can’t stop watching! Good video though!
Rocking the Sagan look today I see...
Outstanding!
Well thats the '70's usually he looks like someone from the '30's
1:07 that is the mother of computer monitors lol
If you like complaining, try selling it like a standup. Complaining can be made into jokes, but it certainly won't sustain a conversation, so find something to go with it.
As a teenager I know its going to take a decade or more in order to afford dressing like a gentleman. But hey, a gentleman isn't a gentleman if he doesn't act like one so I appreciate these kind of videos, Raphael!
Bro just work in a mine or a factory, ez money bro.
Hey love your vidios i have an idea. You review royaltys style forsample my contey denmsrk. Cheeres
Don’t be a (excuse the British language) Chav
carry on the good work. i like your videos a lot. antonio has reacted to your video....just ignore it....he is so annoining. his manners n presenting skill, i reserve my comment. thank you. i hv learned a lot frombyou.
This dude has it down! What a boss
Good video! I agree with more or less everything you said, but I have a minor addition to make:
Careful with #10 because there are people who are much more comfortable in the background when in a group situation and they will not appreciate to be put on spot. I know what I am talking about.^^ People like that appreciate it much more if they are approached under four eyes (is that a phrase in English?).
People like these really appreciate it if you say to them "Oh, you're so silent! Come on, say something!"
It works best if you immediately interrupt them when they finally say something.
/sarcasm
I was always wondering how to be funny without hurting other, I'm a very kind person, and strangely it never came throug my mind to use self mockery as much, thanks Raphaël
Hello Raphael! I want to ask you a question : I'm currently in high school and want to be a neurosurgeon when i graduate. I think of buying a gold lapel pin with the esculap (the sign of doctors) but i'm afraid it might come out as too pretentious. What do you think?
PS: Great video!
It is ok... After you'll be declared a doctor! Absolutely NOT before.
I laughed my ass off when I saw that thumbnail
Not being judgmental is important. When I see the video I came here expecting that Sven would talk about peasants again and how to handle them, etc. To my surprise I found it very humble and useful.
The question"What do you do when you don't Work?" I wish I would have come up with that.
Loved your explanation and video
I allways ask about hobbies.... works every time in drawing someone out in conversation and it never fails to help find mutual ground of interest.....
Thanks for being useful!
I love that jacket. And for $5 how can you go wrong!
The skits with Preston are hilarious!
Making a genuine effort, at ANY of these things, will put you somewhere near the top of the social skills ladder. I'm constantly shocked by how unlikeable nearly everyone i meet under 40 is. There's an enormous break in social skills starting somewhere in the 80s and it's to the point where I'd rather hang out with the WWII generation listening to their fascinating stories than trying to have an enjoyable conversation with people younger than me. And I'm 42.
I'll give a concrete example: my building has a single, small elevator so you're constantly riding with neighbors, and I'd say about 90% of the time anyone you greet under 40 will completely ignore you while anyone over 40 will smile and say hi.
If you walk into an under 40 social gathering don't expect the host or anyone else to introduce you to others, or even greet you half the time. Socialize with older people and you will almost always be greeted and introduced to facilitate conversations.
These are REALLY basic social conventions that exist for a reason. For whatever cause most young (Americans) aren't learning them and it makes them much less likeable.
Not only there in US. I leave in Italy and I work in a great University here in Milan (the most advanced city in Italy). I go back and forth by public transport as I live 35km far and Milan by car is a disaster.
I also noticed how people in their twenties often COMPLETELY ignore you (I'm 44 by the way), even when you do something polite, like on the tube making a bit more room for them (making sure they understand your move), for instance. Well, life Karma will make them bite the dust later, probably.
I believe it had to do with the internet diminishing the social life in a major way. Especially in the US where opportunities for social talks are so rarer due to everyone being forced to take a car to everywhere
Thanks. I think I might need to watch out for point number nine on the job.
Hey, Mr. Schneider. I love watching your videos and I love every tip you give, and I would like to ask, could you do a video on dressing well with medical eqipment on your body? I suffer from type one diabetes and because of this, I require an insulin pump that must be with me at all times (connected to me by tubing and a needle that's usually in my waist or stomach). There's a clip so I can put it on my waistband, but that ruins my silhouette and creates a visible bump under my coat whether it's on the inside or the outside of my trousers. I've tried wearing it on the inside of the waistband of my underwear but that's also awkward, and the weight of it creates a visible box shape when it's in my pocket. A video on this kind of thing for people who suffer from the same problem or also have similar issues/require special equipment that can mess with the look would be a dream come true!
Can you were it in a under the arm pistol holster
great channel. Subscribed!
i love the turtleneck suit combo, but it always makes me flaming hot when i go indoors. any tips?
Simple. Don't wear trousers!
1:30 very wise and true words.
Love the turtleneck. It is elegant and casual.
Good video
I'm reminded to make a much more conscience effort to be a better listener. I find myself often anticipating my response, to further drive home my point, than I do to lending more concentration on truly listening to what the other person is saying and feeling. Yes, it may be a better tactic to "Win" and argument, but not so admirable when the goal is to have a two-sided conversation. An excellent video.
Thank you ! i finally see what i do wrong in my life ! now i can start making more decent conversations.
You’re finally back!
Another important thing I have learned could come under listening to others. If someone is telling you about something bad that happened to them, they are looking to be comforted. In this situation you should explain that you are sympathetic and will be there for them to listen to any further problems. You must never follow something like this by telling them about something similar that happened to you; this will make them feel unappreciated, will make them more upset, and they'll probably never come back to you.
Similarly, if a friend is telling you about something great that happened to them, this means they trust you and that they are genuinely excited to share this with you. You should show that you are truly happy for them; that their joy causes you pleasure. This is not the time to break their trust by attempting to out-do them with something better that happened to you. Just listen and support your conversation partner.
This could be effectively summarised as, 'don't talk about yourself too much.' We're all guilty of talking about ourselves too much sometimes, but when you do notice it happening, a good redeeming sentence is, "but that's enough about me, what about you?"
Sorry, I don't think this is a well combined Outfit. Maybe you should have gone without the Jacket...
I personally not concerned about being likable, but being the best version of myself; educated, suave and self-articulate.
I like these, except for the self deprecating humor. I think it’s better to build up others rather then tear yourself down. It still shows humility and humor, but leaves others feeling better.
One trait that is likeable is competence. Only one field you shine in is enough. If you are simply an impostor people will recognize it in the long run. Your mother loves you no matter what, but if you want others to appreciate you be good at at least one thing. I don´t mean striving for an Ph.D. Simple things like grilling a steak to perfection or a rehearsed Imitation of your favourite movie scene can be enough. If you are really bad at something or not knowledgable in a field simply be honest. No one will like you less if you admit that you can´t read music or are not interested in e.g Soccer.
By ignoring this guy's advice, snobbishess, fakeness and by just being yourself. Just be your natural self
I like you
The trick to be more likeable is to line peoples pockets with money and listen to them when they brag without laughing at them. Then people will like you.
Or, you could simply ignore if people like you or not. Its alot cheaper and easier.
What’s Marcus Halberstram doing there with Raphael?
Smile :)
Unfortunately the vast majority people in this world only care about themselves and no amount of techniques are going to change that, it needs to come from the heart and most people's hearts are rotten. That's why techniques have to be used, so it's not a genuine thing it's just a front.
i said to my psychiatrist... " i just can't seem to make any friends you balding fat bastard"
It's not hard to be nice. Unfortunately a lot of guys i know think it's macho to put down others. If they get pulled up about it they say it's just banter and not to be so sensitive. It's a trend I've noticed more and more lately.
Avoid at every opportunity.
I find it humorous to think of a high school student going up to another and asking "Did you choose your profession or did your profession choose you?"
Can you stop time for a few days so that I can watch all of your videos before going back out into public?
According to your wife your not very good at these things.... lol
I've tried being likable, but still I get seated in restaurants by the restrooms. :(
We should send this to Kevin Smith.He might learn from it🤔
1:43 What's this model of this monitor/TV?
I always get to start conversation first ,most of the times it becomes to be overwhelming...
12. Don't look down on people for how much they spend on clothing
When will sven ressurect his tremendous teddy bear tie again?
This is an exceptional video. Thank you for the content, education, and advice imparted.
Trying to be likeable with a turtleneck? Not for me!
This dude definitely pees sitting down and wipes after.
Oh no these are all things I do more easily after three beers....
Information that lights everyone's lives👏🏻❗😉