SELF CHECK: How To NOT Be A Toxic Person
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- Опубліковано 1 бер 2023
- In this video, we'll be discussing the tips on how to not be a toxic person. A toxic person is someone who thrive on conflict and drama, whipping up trouble for themselves and those around them, this video is for you. Have you ever wondered if you were the toxic one in the relationship? This self check video is for you.
Disclaimer: If you can relate to any of these signs, please do not take this feedback as an attack on your character. This article was meant to be a self-improvement guide for those of you who have been feeling a little stuck.
If you want to know whether you're actually a toxic person, we have a video on this too: • SELF CHECK: 6 Signs Yo...
Writer: Joshua Munoz
Script Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Grace Cárdenas Cano
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
REFERENCES:
psych2go.net/how-to-not-be-a-...
All my toxic queens and kings, let's at least be proud that we are here to change. We are willing to change, and it's a good start. I hope we get through this and live a positive life, the life we dream and wish for. Good luck to everyone out there.
Also, i am going to change myself this time, so you're not alone❤️
Hi thank you I need this 😢😊
Thanks!❤
This comment is amazing thank you. So much. ❤
Not trying to be toxic .But seriously
Thanks, let's all thrive to be better ‼️💕
Timestamps
1). Check your ego 0:36
2). Don't test others 1:26
3). Don't gossip 2:22
4). Don't be a doormat 2:55
5). Don't control people's mindsets 3:29
6). Don't avoid or delay difficult conversations 4:12
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Damn man I appreciate you for updating this as you're watching the video
@@varadgauthankar not a problem
What is Ego and what is Soul? What is Anima and Animus? Is IT Like Brain and Heart?
tysm!
People at the mild-medium range of toxic can be persuaded to do better at times, made to understand that they are only making themselves and everyone else deeply unhappy with their backfiring behaviour and lack of learning emotional intelligence. Eg an article on The Cut "What it's like to be diagnosed with NPD" about the rarely seen example of someone with such a diagnosis becoming increasingly self-aware, socially aware, and seeking therapy. Else the article on A Conscious Rethink "Am I Toxic? 17 ways to tell + how to stop" is a good add-on for this vid. For some toxicity is a matter of less than ideal parents, or an event happening to them that makes them over-react to be extremely selfish, and can be helped. For some, it just seems the malice is hardwired and beyond all hope of ever rehabilitating. Eg the worst Dictators of history.
Perfect timing. Because I can't seem to stop myself from not on purposefully offend my friends every message I sent in our group chat.
That only happened today few minutes after I commented. Not like it's an everyday thing. I rarely chat with my friends on that group anyway...
For me it's either my broken temper just messing my mind or that of somethin that makes me a little agitated or aggressive all of a sudden
@@Redisonthelaptop for me, I was just trying to start up a conversation. But every one of my messages ended up feeling like it could hurt someone's feelings or offend them. Possibly both.
You're not offending them, if they take offence to what is said that's on them.
You're responsible for what you say and how you say it. They are responsible for how they interpret and react to said messages.
That's a good start if you are recognizing it, You got a long way, but thats the perfect start!
1.I don't get mad at little stuff anymore.
2.I forgive people easier coz I understand them.
3.I don't waste energy in arguing and judging people.Infact I act as an antidote to them so that they don't get hurt.
4.I don't need anyone or anything and flow with the time and tide.
5.I remind myself that I am working for myself in the struggle.
Hope this works for you too.
if sounds like you’re people pleaser
@@TwoamazingsistersDanaSara No it's not it sounds like the opposite of a people pleaser. They are taking time for themselves and feeling happier by forgiving others for the little things.
but how do you get to that point without just lying to yourself
I just broke up with my partner and I realized I was very toxic in the relationship and now that I’m realizing it I want to change for the better. And fix myself mentally and physically. I know soon enough I’ll get better. But for now I know that I need some help to guide me on the way to be better. And this video is helping me out.
Tbh I hope that people won’t feel alarmed because of this video. We’re all guilty of something! That doesn’t make us toxic. It’s HOW OFTEN we manifest these traits
Also, being a doormat isn’t a toxic trait. It is toxic for ourselves, but not others. Usually when people use the word “toxic” they’re referring to the behaviors that hurt others
I've always believed that mental illness is actually very common. I have never met anyone who seemed entirely put together right. Even the happy successful people seemed like they were afflicted by issues that were directly affecting their behavior and attitude towards other people. I've seen narcissism, psychosis, personality disorders, ADHD, and basically just insanity in all its various forms in just about everyone I know.
People are complicated, and their beliefs make things even more complicated because it extends beyond just what it takes to survive. They'll dislike you no matter what you do. Being liked, loved, cared about is nice but the only people that benefit from that are usually victims of their own success. Eventually being surrounded by yes men/women who use them to meet their ends.
agreeable..
Habits that me a better person and improved my relationships drastically
1. I stopped lying- by simply not saying things that never occurred and avoiding exaggeration. This makes me more authentic and surprisingly my self-esteem issues just went away. I used to lie about my insecurities but now I realize that lying only added fuel to that fire.
2. I started judging my own daily choices as though I was looking at a character in a movie. This helps me avoid repeating mistakes and look at things from a different point of view.
3. In my journals I started to ask more questions instead of the usual "I'd never be able to do that" self-talk.
This has helped me look at my problems in a new light and get a lot of things I really wanted for a long time.
Awesome piece of advice man. I'm definitely following 1.
P.S - Working on your English will make it better, if it isn't already.
Was there a book or meditations or specific hypnosis recordings that helped you ? You have done well. Any good recommendations are very appreciated. Have a blessed happy life :)
@@avidhossanmansur9830 I sincerely appreciate this and your reply , I will go through these with great interest.
And again , have a wonderful life amigo, thank you.
I think we've gotten to a point in where we now see everything as toxic.
Certain habits, traits, actions etc aren't necessarily toxic, they can be overwhelming in the long run.
Any thing can be toxic if the intention to cause harm is the reason these actions are done. Sometimes it's learnt from parents, relationships, freinds, social media etc
I agree, toxic has become a buzzword that people slap onto anything negative, when it doesn’t always apply 😆 For me, I try to dig deeper and use more adjectives to describe the person/situation rather than settling for the “toxic” umbrella term alone 🧐
@@christopherrussell6055 We've all fallen foul to using it as a slap on label to call-out negative or unhealthy behaviours.
As you said, it doesn't always apply. Perhaps pointing out the situation and shining a light on it may yield a better result with some people allowing them to see it themselves as people will often get defensive when being told "You're toxic".
I've learnt that going through trauma can make you see every as toxic or abusive which doesn't help.
You got that right
Yeah… my take is that it depends on interpretation. If you say / do something that is seen as toxic but the person you say it to isn’t offended, then… I don’t really see the issue, as long as they’re okay with it. (ie. I see a lot of things that revolve around “needy people are toxic” or “people that always want your attention are toxic”, but if a friend messaged me constantly, I wouldn’t be upset at all. Id probably just be appreciative.)
Maybe "toxic" is too strong a word. It certainly has a powerful connotation.
Not testing others is a challenge for me, because I've been betrayed for being vulnerable so many times now I doubt everything. People can always fabricate things to deceive you.
IDK how to get out of it.
Same here. I just found that keeping my circle small with a few close friends that are tried and true and keep it surface level with everyone else
Same here.
@@aubriellemorgan Thank you, that's a nice piece of advice, this situation for us is a curse honestly it sucks.
exactly. i was just about to say this. it was the same for me a few years back, I would test them and smirk on how unreliable they seem. but it stopped eventually when I started getting exhausted by unnecessary conservations and started to stop giving interest in other people, I feel like without even testing them I'll be fine and no good will come from testing them, I don't expect any good from them anyways. i just isolate myself instead of testing now. everything happened just eventually without my own realisation. but i don't think of it as a toxic trait because at some point everyone wants to keep themselves safe and surrounded by good people and energy, so it seems to be a human tendency to do so. I'm not saying this video is spreading false info, being toxic doesn't envolve a single trait, it's Basically many things that come together in a personality.
I don' t do tests and gamee, huge turn off! I leave.
I have a issue with gossiping, and I'm starting to learn the consequences of it after a long time best friend said she was taking a break from our friendship because of that said gossiping.. Thank you for shedding light on this!
Have thou stopped
@@ADMICKEY Yes 🫶😭
Same happened to me recently my friends left me cause I was a fake person cause I was toxic but I loved them at the same time I just relate to this comment so bad
yoo perfect timing! i've been doing some serious self reflection and realizing i'm a pretty shitty person a lot of the time, so this is pretty helpful. it's gonna take a lot of work, but i really want to get better. i've been a jerk, and that's the exact opposite of who i want to be.
Step 1: Don't throw the word "toxic" at everything you don't like for whatever nonsensical reasons there may be 😅
Hmm
Can you give me the example
@@GajaliluOfficial last year my father and I were having a small conflict (don't remember exactly what was, but I know it was something small that could be forgotten next day). Is common for us to have arguments, but sometimes I don't have energy to talk and just let him "win". In that day I said something that he didn't like and I remember that a never found out what I said that could make him feel bad. And he looked me in the eyes and said slowly "you are toxic" and I say "you don't know what this mean", and maybe it could have made him sad, but today I still think he doesn't know the weight of the word. In that time was being transmitted and show/program called "BBB" on Brazil and there was 2 girls really toxic that I did tell him about saying they were toxic (and give a reason to call them that way). Summary: I called Toxic two girl I don't really know (knowing the meaning of the word).
My father learned and labelled me like that and I think since that day I can't shake the feeling I'm Toxic.
I hope I can chance this view, because if my father said that others might think the same and I don't want to be the toxic person
Wow, this comment is so toxic.
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😏
Lmao tell me without telling me that you assume people do not know what “toxic” behaviours are.
Another toxic i think
I'm a doormat and a people pleaser. Most of the time it's because I'm scared. My childhood has taught me that if I don't give myself up for other people then I will be punished or I told that I'm not good enough. Of course my life is so much better now but I still struggle with these issues. I can understand how it hurts other people, and I am trying to give myself more respect. "You must respect yourself because you're hurting others." Just feels like another way of people-pleasing. I think you should respect yourself to respect yourself. And that is going to take a long time. Of course this is just my opinion I'm not a professional, and I haven't done as much research.
Because of my toxic personality, i don't have any friends anymore i hated my self for my trash like personality but i just cannot let go my ego i am the worst..
I am really gratefull for the video thank you so much. I hope i become a good person..😣
I lost two of my friends because of being defensive over a misunderstanding.
Same here my uni life has been ruined I’m now fucking alone
Being toxic is the last thing I ever want to do. I'll admit: I do have some moments where I am shown to be toxic at times.
If I want to keep disrespecting myself, that's totally up to me. If I want to disrespect others (even though it's never my intent), that's on them. But enough is enough!
When I played rocket league, it took a massive toll on my mental health, but it did make me a stronger person in realizing that not everything is what I thought it was, but there were times where I hated myself for doing something that others would find toxic but I didn't find toxic at first but now looking back realizing that was stupid and toxic.
@@Bweyg ok I get what you mean.
Yes, but sometimes I have the feeling that I’m toxic, but I think what makes me a bit toxic at some points is that not a lot but some shit happened in my past that made me behave like that.
@@Jungwons_GrapeJuice Yeah I have the same issue, which is why I might try therapy but I'm honestly not sure.
@@Jungwons_GrapeJuice wow! I'm so sorry.
One thing I love about this channel is that it's one of the few self-help content providers that also create content which talks about how YOU can be toxic or have negative traits to improve. Everywhere else I see just explains ways OTHERS can be toxic only.
Looking back on myself and how toxic my behaviour was pre-Borderline personality disorder diagnosis, I can't understand how I have any of those friends still left in my life 🙊 I'm not perfect now, but therapy has helped a ton, and just getting that diagnosis, having things make sense and learning how to be more introspective has honestly been a life saver. 💜
My ex was manipulative and always victim blamed themselves and a ton of other things, it came to a point where I couldn't talk to them about how I felt about our relationship because they would try and guilt trip me or blow up. while delaying our breakup and a needed talk was a decision that tortured me before it happened, but then I did it and broke it off and that brought me to question myself and belittle myself into staying in that relationship longer than I should have. But coming to terms that I overthink and delay things and seeing how that ended up with me being unhappy and with added trauma, it helped me gain confidence and helped me be more assertive in my boundaries and any difficult situations that Im in
Thanks for this info it's really helps , so that we don't push away our loved ones due to our toxicity.
🌟 Maybe IT has to do with Honesty. Think suprrssed Feeling (therefore passive agressive moods) without communicating with your dears might make both Sides suffer. Calming the emotions, thoughts, than communicate. Otherwise No human ever can be with another. ITS Like tidal, Come and Go, emotions, thoughts, Come and Go, say hello and let them know. 💝☺️
Wow, thanks !!👏
@@football_arena. I Owe you. You helped me with your Comment. U inspired me. 💕☺️💖
With two toxic parents, it’s lucky I didn’t turn out a _complete_ mess… though not gonna lie, it’s been a challenge to get my adult life on-track without the wholehearted and mutual support of my family.
However many setbacks and roadblocks it takes, I’m not about to give up and give in anytime soon, not with the amount of effort and energy invested into this long overdue QOL refresh.
I will admit that Number 6 is usually a problem for me. Mainly because in the past with one of my relationships, the one I was with was quite toxic, always baiting me into arguments and doing point number 2 in this video. These days when it comes to talking to my SO, sometimes I fear that I'm once again stepping through a minefield trying to find the right words to say so I don't end up in the same situation. This video has given me a bit of courage to talk to my partner about the problem that I'm currently facing so thanks Psych2Go, appreciate the video
This is a wonderful video. I always felt myself being somewhat toxic and tried to fix myself as much as possible. Here's my two cents about how I adress these toxic traits myself:
1. Ckecking my ego is never pleasant, but I have to do this so that I wouldn't hurt others unintentionally. This process can be easier when I know that I can love and accept myself being flawed. It opens a space for constructive self-criticism and encourages to not repeat the same mistakes again. Ego is not enitrely evil, it's part of my personality. Its role is self-preservation, I just have to make sure that it doesn't come with the cost of hurting others.
2. For me wishing to test others comes from unanswered questions in my mind. Do I like when others are testing me? No. That's how I had to learn how politely and assertively ask these questions before accumulating too many negative emotions. On the other side, observation of one's behavior at the start of a relationship is crucial to evaluate the possible issues coming later.
3. Gossiping is something I learned from my own gaslighter mother. It took me years to realize that it's NOT a right thing to do. EVER. For me, it comes from low self-esteem and self-hate. If I tend to see bad things in others, gossip about them, then its clear that I just want to humiliate them to feel better about myself. I had to learn how to see positive things in myself, so that I could see them in others. If I'm capable of self-love and self-respect, I don't seek to compare myself to the others, I know that I'm good enough for myself and I can always be even better. The only positive thing that can come from comparing myself with others is finding good behaviour examples and learning them.
4. How to not be a doormat, if you're considering yourself the most spineless person in the world? Defending my own boundaries is something I'm working on. All I know that it comes with finding balance that my own feelings matter as much as the other's. It's okay, if I can't tolerate certain behaviours, I just need to learn express this in assertive way. When I started to defend my own boundaries, I started to respect the other's.
5. I can't say much about controlling other people's mindsets, especially when the most common thing I hear from others and myself is "calm down." Does it feel like someone is controlling my mindset? Not really, but thanks for an interesting example.
6. Not delaying difficult conversations comes with checking my ego. I need to admit my mistakes, so that I could learn from them. Even so, my mistakes do not define me, I need to have love and compassion for myself.
I'm glad that you guys mentioned that we need to have difficult conversations with other people sometimes when issues arise. A lot of people need to watch this video, especially people in leadership positions.
Wow, this video really hit home for me. 😔 I've definitely been guilty of some of these toxic behaviour's in the past, and it's inspiring to hear that there are things I can do to change and become a better person. I appreciate the practical advice and encouragement to cultivate more positive relationships in my life. Thank you for sharing this important message! 🙏
Thanks for this vid... I had a toxic client from a cleaning gig a couple of days back who wouldn't tell me on how to clean his place but complains after FOUR days of waiting instead of complaining about it IMMEDIATELY or discuss this with me like an adult should have been. I hope that this client will have his karma straight back at him because honestly, had I known he was going to do this, I would have never accepted it. Hopefully, next time, I'll be more careful on who to choose from now on.
Respectfully I'm open minded, so discussing important matters like this to anyone it will hard and rare, considering if people can be toxic. I love your videos and the work and you the guidance you give. Your are changing the planet, and I appreciate it. You don't miss, your right on point ☝️ hopefully my children will know that me as their father is learning, and I can count on y'all resources to being a good person and falling asleep at the end of the night, I'm at least trying, we're only 1 person, God bless you
Open minded without putting your view is a trick. Avoiding difficult conversations. Yes well, need to buckle up. Several difficult conversations pending. 😅
At 2:55 when you said "don't be a doormat" and explained why, it made realise i was one...
I'm always scared to go against people opinion so i agree to everythings they say. I never allow myself to speak my mind wich is pretty toxic for me... I have to work on my self-esteem ! Thanks for the video ❤ ( and for people who have the same struggle, one day i'm sure we'll be able make it and speak our mind ! )
The only one I need to work on is 5. When people have a certain reaction, I do have a tendency to say, “hey, it could be worse. It’s not ok that you feel this way about this. Your emotions aren’t valid in this situation.” I think the main reason I say this is because I’ve learned to reject my own emotions because I hate being vulnerable. I’ve been working on veering away from crying, being angry, or any other emotions. Even the people around me tell me that this isn’t an ok thing to say, and they are right. I just need to work on this. My music therapist even defined this as projecting my own expectations onto others. But the other things, I don’t actually do anymore.
Veering away from crying or showing any anger or other emotions is not a smart move in the long run.
Your voice is so calming that it makes it easier to consume the given information
The last two I have a problem with. I actually thought telling others to calm down and chill was a reassurance thing, I didn't think it was that damaging. And I avoid a lot of difficult conversations just to avoid conflict and I just want to live life and enjoy.
i definitely need to check my ego, i can get really defensive really quickly unless i’m able to realize beforehand that this person, whoever i’m talking to, is going to disagree with me and / or say something i don’t like
Then just don't have one, it works for me :D
Sounds helpful!!i also have issues with avoiding or delay difficult conversation or drama!!bc i could be easily escapist about it when people keep attacking me for saying something stupid,offensive or a little bit toxic!!I'll try my best to fix it and to not being a toxic person!!ty
This channel helps me improving as a person. I'm working hard everyday to become a decent human being, and quality content like these wonderful videos are helping me a lot.
Thank you very much 💖
Thank you for your good upload schedule 😊
I had - have? - an ego. I took me decades to realize and see it for what it was, but now I’m putting in the work to dismantle it, part by part, link by link.
I like to call being able to do a paradigm check on yourself during a discussion, the perspective point in thinking that's absolutely worth striving for anyone looking to build a life for themselves.
Although I strive to be a decent person, to do better and learn from my mistakes, I recognize doing or confronting a lot of these toxic behaviors in the past. Now I even realize where I learned some of them from.
I definitely recall times where I let myself be a doormat, letting others take advantage of me, with me later decrying that I was a victim. Ultimately, I let it happen, so it’s on me. I’ve grown to stop doing that altogether, but it took learning self awareness to finally address it.
I’ve also been guilty of trying to control other’s mindsets, but that wasn’t my fault directly. A good portion of my family did exactly that on the regular, so I assumed that was normal behavior. Nowadays, I’ve unlearned that habit and try to acknowledge how someone feels instead of dismissing them. In fact, I now actually get really upset with said family members when they start dismissing my feelings.
I grew up in a pretty toxic family dynamic, almost outright dysfunctional at times. My mom and aunts were constantly testing and gossiping with each other, my mom being the ringleader, so to speak. She’d pretend to be compassionate to one’s face, but would do otherwise when they’re not in the same room any longer. I grew to hate that dynamic, so when we’d have holiday family gatherings, I’d often go into the family room with my brothers and cousins to avoid the drama.
That’s why I grew up to be avoidant of conflict, which led to dozens of unresolved conflicts in itself by me not finding the courage to address them outright from the start. I’ll admit I’m still working on this one, but my friends have been very supportive and understanding, encouraging me to speak up when I need to. With practice and some self confidence, I’m sure I’ll do better in that situation next time.
Don’t think I’m toxic. Maybe slightly sadistic. I felt I was a wimpy person in high school and did things for people that didn’t deserve it. I started to stand up for myself in recent years after the same people tried to approach me or tried to change my way of thinking. I didn’t hold back. I got no shame in that.
👏👏👏Great video! We all need to check it ourselves from time to time👍
I found all them very useful. Thanks a lot.
thank you for when I was depressed for like 1-2 months you only motivated me and now I am fine.
Thanks, it's so helpful as a beginning.
In my past relationship I was toxic, I would put off topics that needed to be talked about. And I wouldn't fully articulate what I was feeling. I lied 3 times and every time I lied it was rather brought up by her (as in asking me the question a second time and be answering truthfully there) and for the last one I told her about it and I knew it would end everything. I hope to God that I can improve with hard work and therapy but that would never undo what I did. Because what I did is truly not okay and undeserved
I'm watching this in class. Love y'all
I have no problem seeing stuff from other peoples perspective as long as they have a logical input rather than an emotional one. That is when I become frustrated.
Just like the line, I learned in oddly health class. Instead of saying “calm down” say “I see you’re mad, but what are you gonna do about it?” Unless they’re mad at you that could cause a larger fight.
Another great video! Keep it up Psych2Go!
I realized that I was the toxic person in our relationship when my boyfriend of three years broke up with me. I've been careless with him, he felt underappreciated. He was very patient and understanding and I was a whole mess. I, drained him, I ruined him, I lost him, and I regret it, but I learned from it. I'll strive to be the better person today.
Dont control people's mindset... again, that is hit me, when i talk about my boundaries and princip or mindset, people always disagree that, and sometimw gaslighting me.. and hurtfuly is, they try to manipulate me to trust their opinion
Thanks for the tips
Whoever watching this video intentionally I appreciate you guys accepted that you are being toxic!
Thx
"Number 2, don't test other" So school is toxic? Roger that.
thank you very much❤, that's was so helpful to me, We forget ourselves sometimes, i'm appreciate your efforts for helping people، And I'm eager for more in the coming days✨💕.
Thanks for this video
I needed to hear this one. Thank you for this video Amanda and @Psych2Go.
I don't know why, but I often feel quite guilty if I have to change. i know I'm toxic, but I feel so bad for the others I've already affected, and it feels unfair that others got better treatment then they did.
Very helpful thank you.
I was a very toxic person when it came to competition and when i started avoiding it it started getting better its why i gravitate more towards cooperative outlets more now
I recently broke up with a toxic ex, and it was one of the worst relationships ever. They always told me that they were right, and when I offered my perspective they dismissed it and told me I was wrong, even for little things. After we broke up they began to gossip about me, even lying to my friends, placing me in constant anguish. They even had made me believe that I was in the wrong, but when one of their friends (who sided with me) told me I was right, I stepped back and realised that they were the one who was hurting us. They had a lot of issues that I tried to overlook, but overlooking problems in a toxic relationship can be extremely harmful to both people. I should have spoken up but I didn't, and now I suffer because of it. If you take anything from this, then know that its better to speak up about the problems you face rather than hiding them and allowing them to build up
Thanks I feel like I need this
i think gossiping is my worst trait but when people tell me things i feel sooooo overwhelmed
I'm here to evolve as a better person I ruined my relationship and just got pissed off due to my toxic behavior. Hope the girl forgives me.
I'll surely change for a better life.
perfect timing to me !
I've been toxic for 2 years and I just don't care about anything or anyone. But this video has helped me that I must be a people person cuz not everything is about me
When I was more naive I had a best friend but I kept on trying to correct her on manners (she would eat off the ground lmao) and other stuff, don’t know if I really was bossy, or if I went too far because I wanted to have the perfect friend… I thought it would also be the best for her if I “fixed” her
I’ll make sure I keep that part of myself in check now :)
I've all of these trait
Before I just wanted to be happy in life and now I want to control everyone since I've found about manipulation
Now I think i'm not that much into it so I can still change
And I hope so I can change
Peace is all I desire ❤️✌️
Dear people who are in the process of realizing your toxic behaviors, of experiencing having lived out the worst in yourself and outgrowing it, remember every moment, when you feel alone, you are worthy and brave, to follow that instinct that there should be a better way and to be willing to face the unfair sight of yourself for that.
You are lovable and forgivable. To keep that from yourself would be very toxic aswell!
Don't hate yourself forever! Your joyfulness is urgently needed by the world
I relate to all of these points and I have alot of work to do. I hate being toxic. Why am I jealous, why am I sarcastic. I'm sick of this ish! I need hypnosis.
I just realised when you’re around toxic people it’s hard to not counter them with toxicity as well
I am quite surprised that 'doormat' is considered to be a toxic behavior. It does not seem to fit. Sure it can be toxic to the self but it's more than a little out of place.
In any case, really enjoying the videos. Thank you.
I often act like I have to be always right or act like a know it all because deep down i feel bad about myself, that I’m dumb or not good enough.
I love your videos ❤️
I'm glad I'm not toxic, but I hate being such a doormat. I've always been told to stand up for myself, but I really don't like retaliating and worry about worsening the situation, so it's difficult sometimes.
Use Irish Longsword, or cover thyself in Lego to make a dangerous doormat
Thanks!
Thank you for your extra support for our channel, Sheri!
i related to that controlling someone's mindset point.
I've really been trying to not be a toxic person, and then I realized that I had to leave almost every friend I knew to do that! Now I just struggle with the last one because of my anxiety...
★
Can we please get a video on how to comfort people 😭 we don't know how to properly comfort and make people feel better
I use adorable mickey plush
I think the issue is people lack the ability to see that people aren't being purposely offensive coupled with these same people, having unrealistic social expectations.
Your friends shouldn't have to tip toe around your issues and sensitivity, and if something simple bothers you, it should be able to be talked about.
we need a vid of coping with toxic people
Thank youu
im here bcuz the voice is calming and animation is cool, i am stressed rn btw
I love this
I will try it later
Shared!
the urge i habe to send this to a friend who has to comment on everything i do in a rude way
I like to do what I call friendly gossip. Or wholesome gossip. And that's usually just things like "Did you hear? Migah aced his exam the other day!" Or "Have you listened to Aqua's music? It's so good!" Especially if I notice friend groups spirlaing into talking about people negatively in the back. I've noticed that this keeps the information sharing feeling that a lot of people enjoy while making it seem like gossip.
I also want to add my input on confronting difficult situations. While I will agree that putting them off is very harmful, talking about them as soon as they arise isn 't good for everyone. My husband and I have found that what works best for us is to say "there's something very important I want to get off of my chest with you, but I don't know how to properly word it. Can you give me time to get my thoughts in order?" Sometimes that means a few hours or sometimes a couple of days. This allows us to better communicate what we want to say without accusing the other of this or that. Since we've started doing this our conversations have been more clear and there have been fewer misunderstandings. This also works very well for us since I have anxiety and if I feel the other person raises their voice, I shut down. Often times going completely mute. Letting him know that I want to have an important conversation lets him know that I'll likely be a little on edge and to be more mindful with his words. And when he tells me he wants to have an important conversation that lets me know that he wants to be fully heard and understood, not trying to "read between the lines" or anything like that.
Gossip (at least in the more toxic sense) is what I prefer to refer to as nosy strangers (often with narcissistic streaks) spreading rumours about people they (as the term “stranger” indicates) hardly even know at all in the first place or going too deep conversationally about someone’s private life (or what’s perceived to be some of it) without there being genuine concern behind the talking. Just-plain talking about other people for good or bad as far as I’m concerned is not gossip. That one’s just life.
I say I detest gossip but by that I mean the toxic kind I mentioned first (including breeches of confidentiality). You’re well within your rights to dirt-talk someone you don’t like based on things you’ve actually experienced with them, not publicly shaming someone in the open based on he-say | she-say. I’m not vengeful but there are people out there who I genuinely hope it will never be well with. I wouldn’t blast their business or spread tidbits about things about them that have nothing to do with me but I’m not obligated to speak about them positively either. It’ll just be based on things that I would’ve experienced on some level with that other person if it has any relevance or bearing on me disliking/hating them. Doesn’t mean I have any reason or obligation to say anything nice about them, ever. Again, not really gossip.
My friend needs this video
I am jumping to conclusions & pushing my husband away. I love him & don't want to be toxic. I think I'm going to look more into the ego thing. We both have been working to be better, he's doing so much better than I. I believe in chang & can see it, I just jump to incorrect conclusions.
Perfect timing
Oh thank,s
There's a bunch of things I hate and look down on, but people like them and I keep speaking in a way that might offend them. I really need to work on it but its been difficult.
I didn’t know that my toxicity is just so bad not unless a stranger online pointed out how problematic I am. Glad she didn’t know my name. But the thing is, I lack self-love. I am such a horrible person and I’m sorry to the people around me I know how tiring I am. They be like walking on eggshells still gonna be hurt by the words I’m saying then I will still be close to them cause I depend on them, leaving them trapped on me. I am so horrible.
Sometimes u discover that your way may not be the right way if you let other people teach you things.
Hii I am your biggest fannn❤❤❤
Second! also i kind of am toxic so this will help
No one ever listened to me until i was getting mad, then they listened and now i catch myself being always mad because i still think or feel no one listens to me and i feel like I'm losing control... this makes me so toxic because i force them to listen and try to control their actions
I sometimes use mean spirited jokes and when others get upset, I just say it's a joke and to calm down.
I sure I've lost a few friends because of it and after being told off twice today,I realized I have an issue 🫤
I also tend to say negative things like "meh,it won't last long" or "we'll see how long they last" and I'm tired of it.
I'm not a bad person at all and consider myself empathetic and nice, but I can sometimes be a douche that uses mean jokes because they make me feel superior in a way
I can have an ego about being right during debates, but when the alternative feels like losing my rights what choice do I have? I can't concede any ground to transphobia, people in my country want to *hurt* us. I have to convince them to stop