I used to had a crush before into some guy who is bad towards me, even though he's saying those words that could easily hurt me i still liked him. But now im starting and trying to move on
He said I'm so dumb and other words that hurted me I finally move on after two year and when I'm in relationship he's starting want me but I Chase him away
Everyone should keep in mind that your partner probably doesn’t even realize they are doing these things. So it’s a better idea to point them out to him/her first and try to see if they work on them before just throwing away the relationship. Just a thought.
Psych2Go you can't agree with instawise after this video! They are saying you're wrong this videos isn't healthy. It's bad advice that could lead to unhealthy results
Yuppp. Im just trying to see if its just me being paranoid or if the uneasiness in my gut is true. Their my ex but i cant let go but the more i stay the more unhealthy it gets. I was in a good, caring and loving relationship, but instead i keep being infatuated by the person i hate to love and love to hate.
The toughest part is leaving such partner, coz by the time u realise that ur relationship has becoming toxic, u have become quite attached to that person
@@dikshaa7401 Move on, go with the flow and don't turn back. Especially as women are considered weak, we must never let them over take our mind. It's better to move on, the time we realise we should rather than having a heat break at the time we've let the other person over power us
She left me because i stood up for myself and fought against her Toxicity. My heart shattered when she did. About a month later she spoke about it in a Livestream a friend of mine happened to see, he screen captured it and showed me how she talked about the relationship and me. It was hurtful, disrespectful, she openly admitted to flirt with others while in a relationship with me. She admitted to read Soft porn while laying next to me in bed while cuddling (small context, she’s lesbian, i used to be her best friend (i‘m Male), she hit on me and started the whole thing, she asked me to f*ck her when she was single bc. She wanted it, she acted like she liked it, she asked me out and if i wanna be her boyfriend.) in the stream she said the Sex was bad, it was unromantic, it was weird, she read lesbian soft porn while cuddling with me in bed and later having sex with me. (Another context, it revolved about her, i came once in many months of relationship, she never told me she didn’t like it, even though i asked many many times if everything is alright, if i should do something different bc. I‘m inexperienced and wanted her to be happy.) Our relationship started after being best friends for about 5 and a half years, and lasted for 6 months when i ultimately stood up for myself and only wanted minor adjustments because i simply couldn’t handle it anymore. I truely loved her, she admitted she had feelings, but most likely they were out of desperation bc. She broke up with her Ex girlfriend only a few weeks prior. That was the moment my Heart broke a second time.
O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me just want to say that letting go doesn’t heal. Emotional and psychological abuse create habits and behaviors that take AGES to fix, if at all. Letting go of the past is a step, and a big one. But it’s the first of thousands. Keep in mind, trauma isn’t caused by holding on to the past. Letting go alone doesn’t fix things.
@@CorynWarriorKitty so so good, so true. No one "needs" to let go in order to heal!! It even can be dangerous to our system. Letting go involves the body and is not the only way to heal!!
"No relationship is better than an unhealthy relationship" That's a tough one to swallow, considering how many people stay in those situations because for them it's better than being alone.
@@beanyeet2771 thats so true, i had an ex who threatened to hurt himself if i leave him. It was such a toxic relationship and i knew it wasnt good for my mental health and my relationships with friends. I loved him, wanted to leave, but not at the cost that he would hurt himself... Im so glad im out of that now, but people are always saying "why do these people stay?" Because it is human decency and love involved.
Psych2Go people often stay for the children. Abuse aside, a lot of these problems in your video are resolvable. It may take time but it’s not the case that all these issues are “get out of there” type situations, as you seem to have implied in the video. Following all of this advice could cause some seriously avoidable misery for many.
It's hard when your relationship is like a rollercoaster, sometimes you feel or know that you are in a unhealthy relationship but moments after you start to create courage and think about ending things over, your relationship starts to have a really good time and you can only wish that it would never end... It's good till bad things happen again, like a never ending circle.
My partner is a playboy. He likes to sweet talks to others especially girls..but he never communicate with me.. not even reply my texts. I want to end this useless relationship because of this dysfunctional partner but he never want to let me go. I wish I could end this useless relationship, so that he can continue sweet talks and wooing other girls like he used to do now..so that I am totally not in that sad circle again..
May be it's better to have stable relationships, not rollercoaster. I'm not sure, that person can always feel high in healthy and long lasting relationship
*Whenever you feel that* - your energy is drained, not recharged after spending time together - you don't feel uplifted after meeting your partner - your partner constantly pokes at you, making fun You have to go separate ways.
the third one has exceptions of course, as both me and my partner poke fun at each others but in a fun and not hurtful way- but if your actually getting hurt and what they've said hurt you greatly, then yes, you gotta leave
Whats matter besides, at the third point, that the other should feel, if that poking is relevant and wont goover the borderline. Idk know if u know what i mean. Like, when the other makin fun of you or of your action constantly, and do not think at all about that maybe thats not that funny, or too much, or you just had a bad day, and he does not have a little EQ for feel, when to stop. But yeah, all you two, have a point there. @@osse1n
I was personally in an unhealthy relationship but instead of breaking up, we loved each other too much for that. So we talked things out and made changes little by little. It's worked.
This is what I feel😫 everytime I want to open up with him I am fearful that he might be mad about what I want to talk about and then when he wants to talk I am open with him thats why sometimes I am not happy anymore😭
They expect you to listen to them and not interrupt or reply until they are done speaking smh yeah I have been there....take it slow and make a plan and leave you deserve better!
That's fantastic you realized this & did the best thing you could do. I hope you've found happiness & if you are seeking/sought help for this, you are doung well. Good to luck.
1. You fight... A lot (yelling matches) 2. You hide things (lying, dishonesty) 3. This way or the highway (no compromise and discussions) 4. You feel guilty 5. It's one sided 6. They put you down (and dont support you and your dreams) 7. They refuse to Do things that matter to You (no respect) 8. You are Codependent 9. They make u feel insecure 10. They're abusive (verbally, physically, sexually... Get help and get out!) 11. You change yourself to be what they want (they don't love you for you) 12. You're unhappy
All this.... Is what I'm going thru im scared to get out... I don't feel beautiful anymore im unhappy, we are fighting sometimes and theres times when we love each other but ... Its not the same.. Im so hurt that this is happening to me because i love her... 4 years down the drain already because im unhappy.... Idk what to do . we live together
@@jayviolet7480 I'm so sorry... Your situation sounds really rough, especially with the lock down going on. Have u tried counseling (is she open to it)?
Guinea pigs are cute- And it can make the feelings of guilt so much stronger. Especially if at one time, you couldn’t imagine your future without that person.
yeah he keeps talking about how we will get married, and it first i saw it too, but over these 8 months of dating him, i started to realise how annoying he can be, if im not calling him or at least texting him multiple times in a day he starts suspecting me of cheating, when he will start telling me how in his dream he had sex with other guys, he gets mad and overreacts over everything, and now our whole friend group keeps saying that they will see us getting married, and now i feel bad for wanting to break up with him, i told him that i wanted space but he started to act like he was depressed and started saying how he would kill himself.( ive only dated girls before so this was my first guy i ever dated, but honestly over this time i kinda reliased that im still straight inside, not that i have a preference though i date whoever makes me happy(ノ´∀`*) sorry for the long text(@@;)
@@chickenbox400 your bf honestly sounds like a very toxic person, if you want to break up with him, you should. Don't feel guilty about it. He's not going to kill himself because you break up with him.
Chicken Box him telling you that he will kill himself because you said you needed space is literally a form of emotional abuse, he is trying to manipulate your love and fear for him. RUN
@@chickenbox400 late comment but approach him about these things. Bring it up and listen closely for his reaction. Sometimes, as you would know, men are stupid, and sometimes we stay locked on a certain type of mindset. Bringing up your issues is a good way to kinda snap them out of it if they really love you. If they don't...its probably time to gtfo of there
Here's the issue with the guilt and insecurity ones: if you've experienced longterm abuse from other people, you sort of get stuck into always feeling guilty and insecure no matter how people treat you, which is why those who have been in abusive relationships, had abusive family members, etc have a hard time knowing whether or not a relationship is healthy.
Walking (or talking) on egg shelves is another big one: when you filter what you say and do around them because you clearly know that talking about a certain person or experience in your life will make them flip out. I mean, we are all a bit careful what we say and do in the beginning stages, that is ok. But when you are clearly aware that some topic and actions are better to avoid even if they are important to you, well, that was a big sign for me (that I ignored for quite some time). 😀
I recently got out of a relationship like that and it also ticked many of the traits mentioned in the video. It’s sad cause I truly loved him but I had to leave to protect myself.
You can have not quite-the-opposite as well, when a person believes they have to walk on eggs shelves just to talk to a person when in reality that very belief and the actions which follow - Not talking about certain subjects etc... End up drive you apart.
Its hard to swallow the fact that words & action isnt enough if we look at the patterns. U'll understand when u start fighting over the same thing iver and over again
Thanks to all the videos on toxic relationships, I was able to see that my boyfriend wasn't good to me. He was very manipulative and always played the victim card. Thanks to you I was able to break free from him and end our 3 year relationship. Now I am happier than ever ^^
I'm getting the same thing from my boyfriend and our relationship is also of 3.5 years , it has become quite unhealthy but I've grew so attached to him that I can't think rationally
12 “You’re unhappy “ Should be the most obvious, but people “in love” don’t like admitting they are unhappy. “And who are you to say I’m unhappy?” ..yeah
I've just ended a relationship with someone who, on the surface, was perfect and open with love but due to so many past abusive relationships, tended to take insecurities out on me, I ended up putting my life on hold too afraid to admit to her what I was doing as I knew it would end up being an argument which would only end when I took full responsibility on why it started even if I didn't. Did everything I could to make her happy but at the cost of my own happiness. I've been doubting if I'd made the right decision and this video helped to see that our relationship was actually very unhealthy. Thanks Psyc2go
Two months before I‘ve been in my first relationship. I really loved my bf back than and we we‘re very close . We started dating in January and everything was great until February. I startet to feel depressed in this relation ship. I cried myself to sleep every night,not knowing why I felt that way . This stage continued and got worse everyday to the point I thought about sucide. In May I found out that my bf was the reason for me feeling bad ,but I didn’t want to believe it . I knew that I felt insecure because I wasn‘t sure if he really did love me as much as I did , I started to hate myself and change for him and I totally forgot about my friends and didn’t do anything with them anymore. He also started to get mean...My dream is it to become a Therapist ,so I could help people . I told him about it and he just laughed at me and said that someone who’s depressed like me can’t become one . I noticed how unfair he was sometimes and I even thought about breaking up often because I felt such bad ,but everytime I wanted to he was acting more romantic etc. and I forgot about everything . But then he broke up ...over WhatsApp. And 4 days before everything was fine and he even wanted to marry me that time . Afterwards he already tried to get a new girlfriend just to make me jealous and I felt worse than ever before . But now I‘m glad that I got out of this and I‘m finally able to be happy again !😁 But I‘m still scared that he‘ll might try to come back one day and I‘ll fall for it... I never want to feel that way in an relationship again
I loved so much that i had to let my boyfriend go. The relationship felt too codependent that without me he can’t live. Literally. He threatened to kill himself. I had to step away so he can see clearly of the mental abuse he put me through. Making me feel guilty about not being with him. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I'm going through the same thing... He has been through a lot and he thinks I am all he has... And I know that's not true... He constantly says how he will cut himself if he goes through anything horrible again, so I've been scared to do anything that would hurt him in case he cuts himself again T^T. But at the same time, he is so clingy, and I mean SUPER CLINGY, and when I say, "hey can't answer rn, I'm with a friend" he gets really sad and angry saying that I thought of my friend more than I did of him... He even gets mad when I'm just hanging with family, like... Omg.... I knew it was a toxic relationship... Anyways, even though I am frustrated, I am so scared to break up with him in case he cuts himself again, or worse... Kill himself. Then I'll never forgive myself...
@@Reverie876 I totally get that, that pops into my head from time to time with my current bf. It wouldn't be your fault, you cant control what others do. I believe my bf feels I'm the only one this close to him and if we were to break up id be worried because he said he'd never date again and not have the kids he wanted because he doesn't want to invest in another person after me. I worry that his tendency for suicidal ideation would worsen if we split up too.
@@jujutsucryin3256 How did we get ourselves into this DX.... I feel so horrible about it, I honestly don't know what to do... I get that I shouldn't stay in a toxic relationship but at the same time I also know that if I left him now it would be out of selfishness and I can't do that to him
@@jujutsucryin3256 however... I talked to him about it recently, I told him the most major problems our relationship has and he said he felt really bad that I felt that way, now he's doing a lot better and is being more supportive and trying really hard to make sure that it's not just a one way relationship
I get paranoid sometimes about the relationship I'm in and start watching these videos but honestly they just always prove that I'm just being paranoid because my relationship is extremely healthy and anytime we feel paranoid or insecure we talk about it and reassure each other that all of those thoughts are irrational and normal and work out how to fix it and I'm honestly so so happy with the relationship I'm in I'm always excited to see her and I love her company and everything about her we talk like everyday but if we didn't we'd be perfectly fine with that too and hhhhhhhhhhh I just really love my girlfriend ❤
Yall communication is strong!! I have a negative mind and i come up with irrational thoughts. A lot that i start to confuse myself and cant tell whats real and not. Im not sure if that makes sense but I use to be so open towards my other about it that it drained him. We arent in a serious relationship but we are exclusive. Yet i dont like how he talks about other girls. How they attractive they are, it bothers me and i felt comfortable to tell him that i dont like it. He got dissapointed or felt some way and said they were just comments. That might be true but i have dealt with insecurities my whole life and i grown so much. But for the guy who i really love to say things like that hurt me. I start to compare myself and my self esteem goes down. They are days that it affects me badly and days that i am just over it. But what i hate the most is that he doesnt consider how i feel and continues. How did you manage to keep a healthy strong relationship?
@@lesliegarcia7019 Love is respect. You shouldn't feel disrespected or drained in your energy by him. For sure, some situations need their time and certain developement of clearness for each partner. Being in a relationship means being secure enough about yourself e.g. being aware of your boundaries or seeking your values in each aspect of your life (personal, work, relationships) Your partner doesn't need to change for you but for himself. It is important that you both give each other a safe room to speak up which includes insecurities. Yes, he is not responseable for them but for his reaction. He should be understanding and respecting. Saying, that those comments are just words is not understanding but manipulative to you in a certain way.Especially when you're not aware and familiar of/with certain boundaries / standards in (close) relationships. Let me say: A person that loves you wouldn't bring themself in the position of loosing you. You are appreciated and wanted.
@@lesliegarcia7019 If he loves you for the person you are, he would care about your words. He would think about the words he is telling you/in front of others/when you not there. Because he respects you and values the wonderful being you are. Because he would never want to see you down or hurt by him. You do not feel respected. He is not really with you but with him and his standards. Those seem pretty low to me, I only know what you wrote but thats my impression. Love yourself.Align your actions to your standards. Live the life you want to live and not what you think, you all are not deserving. Spend your energy for you and not these draining thoughts which means eliminating everything, that keeps you from your best life. Even if you are by your one and it seems no one is recognizing it. The people loving you will stay and treat you so.
I watched this video after months of not feeling happy in my relationship. It taught me so much about what is right and wrong. Massive red flags, I had missed. I knew after watching this video and sleeping on my decision, breaking up was the right thing to do. My ex was saying things to hurt me and take him back but I knew it was just him manipulating me, like he had done for the majority of our relationship. It’s been two weeks since we broke up and I feel so much better. Thanks for creating this video, you saved my mental health.
I wish I had seen this earlier. My relationship with my ex was all of these signs. I hope people who are in unhealthy or even toxic relationships right now will come to learn to let go of these relationships. It's a living hell and it's better to move on then to hold onto the toxicity even if you love them. Sometimes it's just never meant to be
Thanks for the video, it was definitely eye opening. I've been depressed a lot lately in my current relationship of 3years and I felt I was the problem. I'm in college and I live with my girlfriend, so it's been tough and sadly I haven't made many friends here. My family and friends now live 5hrs away so I'm stuck with hanging out purely with my gf but she is always getting upset when I have to study or want alone time. I feel like I'm being sofficated, so I recently started calling and talking with friends and family a lot but she gets upset that I'm so excited to talk to them and says I'm not that upbeat with here. I work my ass off to make her happy and spend time with her, I even do all the cleaning, dishes, laundry and buy most of our groceries, but she never seems to appreciate it. She gets angry with me when I ask if she’ll start cleaning up after herself or if I say I can't afford to do something, such as take a trip in the middle of the semester. It wasnt until last night when I mentioned to her I didn't appreciate that she was being rude to me for taking 30min to clean up after dinner instead of immediately watching a show with her and leaving a mess in the kitchen. She then proceeded to yell at me for even mentioning I was upset and started bringing things I've done in the past up. I told her I wasn't going to be treated that way and left the room, shortly afterwards she came out and yelled at me again and angrily said sorry but then proceeded to say it was my fault. I told her I wouldn't accept that sort of treatment anymore and she then retracted her apology and said she didn't mean anything when she apologized. Before she left the room she let me know I was a bs, that I was the meanest and most cruel person and she couldn't stand anything about me, followed by an “ I hate you so much.” I didn't say anything back except that I was going to sleep on the couch. She screamed and cried in the room for awhile and I sort of felt bad but I realized it's her playing mind games. She woke me up at 2am to say sorry and I said I forgive you but when I said I was still going to sleep on the couch she told me I was ruining her life. I'm exceptionally upset atm and only slept 2hrs before coming to class but I've decided to stay on campus and out of the apartment today. She's already called me 5 times today and said terrible things about me. I send her a message telling her I wanted us to communicate in a healthy manner and respect each others opinions and emotions to which she replied you don't care about anyone but yourself and I'm going to ignore any conversation with you. I'm horrified i’ve stayed this long and I'm sad with the insecurities i’ve taken on throughout this relationship, but I know I'll work things out if I can get out of this relationship. I believe I've been too kind and accepting of treatment that I would never do to anyone I care about nor her. I pray she overcomes her demons but I can’t fix her.
This is so true! What tips would you recommend to those who know they are in an unhealthy relationship, but not sure how to improve or leave the relationship?
Really does feel liberating after letting go of something that is draining. I still reminisce from time to time but I know I’m a lot happier than I was before. (:
Thank you for this. Not watching because my relationship is toxic, watching it in case I was not aware of my actions that may lead to an unhealthy relationship. I feel like I know my trouble areas now and will work on myself so my relationship does not suffer. ^.^
@@derekabshire6691 dude right im coming up on my two year mark and it has been the most stressful depressing draining thing ever !!!! Idk if it’s this time of the relationship shit hits the fan or if that’s the time when you see true colors. I’m having such a hard time decifering toxic from unhealed wounds he may have and how it can come up in weird ways , cuz I know how that is. But at the same time I shouldn’t be treated less worthy or made to feel like I don’t matter. It’s such a hard thing to walk away from especially when it’s one of your first relationships and you live together ! Ugh
Im actually really codependent and insecure. Though my bf does everything he can to make me feel secure the comfort and reassurance doesnt live long and i always revert back to overthinking and all my irrational paranoia. Struggling with bipolar in a relationship is extremely difficult. Sometimes you end up being the one causing all the problems or believing there are a million issues when in reality everything is just fine. Like something in your life is always getting caught on fire somehow and instead of just getting a buvket of water to put out a little flame you think you saw you end up calling for emergency vehicles all for what was just a lightbulb or firefly all along. It sucks and its so confusing not knowing the difference between whats imaginary and whats reality.
This made me feel so much better about my relationship. I was feeling slightly worried, but now I realize that those concerns were only minor and normal problems between us. Thanks psych 2 go. I love these videos.
This is the 6th/7th video I’ve watched on abuse on this channel. All of them have just further proven that my parents are abusive/toxic, both of my exes were abusive/toxic, and that my current relationship is healthy and happy. These videos have validated everything I’ve gone through. Thank you
This video gives me a peace of mind about my overthinking. I just realized that my relationship is a healthy one. We only fought to the point we starting yelling once, and after that, we both changed and try to talk things as calm as possible. We also never stopped supporting our dreams, and we always update each other as much as possible since we're in long-distance. ❤️
1- you fight... a lot 2- you hide things 3- this way or the highway 4- you feel guilty 5- it’s one-sided 6- they put you down 7- they refuse to do things that matter to you 8- you’re codependent 9- they make you feel insecure 10- they’re abusive 11- you change yourself to be what they want 12- you’re unhappy
For the insecure part: I’m insecure all on my own. My boyfriend brings me up whenever I’m feeling down. Some days we become codependent on one another, but I have friends who are able to bring me back to reality. And I’m trying to get my boyfriend to make some real friends in the world. Other than ones online because I feel like he needs real people to hang out.
Work on him!! Give him the chance to understand, you cant imagine how satisfactory is to see the love of your life (Or anyone lol it can be a brother too, parents with smoking problems, etc) win a battle that was causing the person to have bad life momments :D
@@Vidadrainer Well, I am. I'm doing my very best to encourage him that he should find friends. He's just terrified of losing me. He has Asperger's from an accident when he was younger. He had been playing on a game system one minute and then falling out the window next and landing on his head. He doesn't remember how it happened. Just that it did. He won't lose me if I know that he's safe with friends and away from his abusive and judgemental step father. One time, he had been shoved against a wall and was being suffocated by him. I want him to be able to be away from him. I'm more scared of when he's home than when he's away. He had such a blast visiting Japan a couple months ago for 20 days. He was smiling and less cautious about me video calling him and begging for his attention. Like he is now that he's home.
So happy you guys posted this video. I had a bad habit of watching your "signs youre in a healthy relationship" videos & automatically would assume that my relatioship was a healthy one. Especially after wanting to work it out so desparately more than anything, its obvious watching this video now that it easily clouded my judgement. I appreciate this channel to my core. Wish you guys all the success cuz damn, you guys are amazing.
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Imooye Gabriel Ohiolebo your comment looks more like a bot promoting scam likely companies more than compassion that I actually needed at the time. My relationship is better now, actually. & the 1st sentence of your comment made me chuckle. I wouldn’t call what you’re calling your marriage a marriage. Wouldn’t even call that a life, but, thanks?. I guess lol.
I have an unhealthy relationship with my dad, he always gaslights me, shouts at me, "jokes around", manipulates me, and is just a walking red flag himself..
No relationship is better than a unhealthy unhappy relationship!!! That is so 💯 correct. I'm middle aged and I've found out long ago that it's not worth it going through any of this people! I'm so happy on my own. If your partner that mistreats you wants to change and truly does change your relationship might be worth it. You will lose yourselves if you continue to put up with it.look for relationships you deserve. Even with friends. Noones perfect but you shouldn't put up with any kind of abuse manipulation or fear at all!
While I see the good intention of this video, I actually think it could be quite destructive. It gives very strong advice ( "You need to get out, you are in an unhealthy relationship") based on generalisations ("if you're feeling insecure in any way") for unknown situations (pretty much every one a viewer applies it to). I.e. Insecurity, doesnt always occur because of others' actions - that's a fact. So telling someone to leave their relationship because they feel insecure, without any knowledge of the context, is careless advice. Plenty of insecurities come from how people were treated in previous relationships, even though they manifest in the current one. It's ironic that a video trying to help people get out of unhealthy relationships delivers narratives in such a confident and forceful manner, while actually being unqualified and careless statements... Also common attributes of emotional abuse.
I thought I was in a healthy relationship this entire time we never fought and i thought everyrbinf was going well until it wasn't... This video made me realize that it really was like this and idk how to deal with it.
I was here worried i was too obsessed and attached to my partner. And i think its safe to say We are perfectly fine, and i just havent felt a love so strong before.
Wow this made me feel so much better!! After 2 long bad relationships whom have I guess both been abusive... I have so much more 💜 for my hubby!! We found each other in grade 9 ten years later our paths crossed as I'm getting outta an abusive one!! He's been great! Like I said maybe it was just ment to be!!💜
Number one: *Be in a relationship, because why are you looking at this if you are all alone like me?* :'( Tbh, this is so helpful to those who have problems in their relationship, keep doing videos like this they're awesome. 💕
We watched this in class and I was literally soo happy that our teacher showed us this vid, cause, when I first heard and saw that intro I was super happy because I really love this channel and it's one of my favorites
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Only a single one of these seems to check out: Being codependent. I really love my girlfriend and she loves me too, but watching this made me realize again that I feel like our relationship takes up too much of our lives. I don't want her to neglect her friends or family for me though I'm doing that exact thing to talk to her more often. I'm just afraid that one day this is going to ruin the relationship... Any advice maybe? :/
You should try to balance the time you send with your family members, friends, etc and the time you spend with your girlfriend, so you put in equal effort for the people you love.
Just a little advice for every couples out there from my own experience with my boyfriend ♥ Me and my boyfriend often argue with the same little things. Because I admit, I was the first one who always starts a fight beacuse I get easily angry and frustrated, I know I am just depressed that's why.. So I can control myself not to argue with him everyday, instead, I always sent him a funny memes, sweet quotes or whatever just to lighten up the mood. But one day, he got drunk, and call me. he said, why don't you break up with me, I don't wanna see you hurting. I understand what he's saying, he told me to break up because, we often fight with each other he hates to see me crying and suffering from these kind of things we do. But then, I replied to him that I won't. I won't let out relationship broke. Why? I understand the toxic traits we do.. I empathize the things happened to him from his past relationships, I know that he haven't moved on how his ex broke up with him and leave him. That's why I don't wanna leave him alone. It's my choice to stay with him, I don't want to do the same things his ex did to him. I don't wanna hurt him. I know he's having a hard time too. This is not all about me. This is not all about my happiness. But also about for his own sake. I truly love him, so I will never give up in our relationship for the first time we've met, and confess to each other, I already have made up my mind that I am completely committed, and devoted to this person. He was the coolest man I have ever met in my life he makes me happy, he makes me so special.. But he always teases me 😐 but I don't mind it as long as it makes him happy. I will make him my last ♥ We will live happily till the end no matter what 😊♥
And remember, just because the relationship starts off as looking healthy, it does not mean it cannot change to become unhealthy. In the beginning of my relationship, my partner was very supportive of my goals, but as the relationship progressed that started to change. He started to make fun of my singing, my novel (aka saying, "I'm not interested in hearing your 'insights'" and saying he wanted to date someone dumb and he didn't like that I cared about school. He would make fun of me for liking school and my grades saying, "I can't give you an A for that," whenever I would tell him I deserved better and I am good to him. He would shift the blame onto me a lot calling me controlling when I checked in on him as I was concerned about his drug use, I did not try to force him to stop but I was concerned and I wanted to check in. His friends made fun of my ideals and values (feminism) and started making sexist jokes and made jokes about my dog dying. I felt unsupported by my partner who sided with his friends over me whenever they would bully me. After he broke up with me, I felt confused because I thought he was the perfect partner, in the beginning of the relationship he took me on expensive dates, traveled with me, had an incredible career and supported my goals by coming to see my shows. But in the end I started to realize that he was just infatuated with me his commitments and promises of love were not met by his actions. The relationship took a turn for the worse and now I pray we never come into contact again. I do not hate him, but every time I speak with him he lashes out at me and calls me names. I always think it will be different before the phone call, but it never is. I wanted to write an article about my feelings but he threatened and scared me out of it. But I think I still will. I lost feelings for him now, but I feel very afraid and anxious all of the time. His friends tried to tell me the relationship was not abusive and called me names for saying it was, but I know the truth. My ex-partner emotionally abused me. And I do not have to stay silent about it, despite threats. Relationships can be healthy, but what I recommend is setting clear and consistent boundaries from even before you enter the relationship, and if they are not being met, have the courage to leave. This can change at any time during a relationship, so it is important to always be aware of yourself and your feelings and your partners feelings. It can be very hard to tell when your partner is just making a one off mistake or is consistently bullying you, but once you identify abuse in the relationship, do not give your partner another chance. End it forever. There is nothing wrong with being single, always choose being single over being in an unhealthy relationship, it could ruin your life.
He hit me once today ; his friends think it was just a mistake but I feel hurt ; I feel like I’m the problem .........I’m always making excuses for him acting that way . It’s just so sad
I know what can work for your happiness, relationship, prosperity and other problems contact me Phone number +13182307464 Email kaywonders6@gmail.com Prophet Joshua God be with you
Iv been in a relationship for about 5 years, we have broken up before due to the same issues of his behavior. He has opened up to me about a year ago and told me hes never told anyone that he went through horrible childhood abuse, I knew his father was not a good man but I never knew this. His behavior often exhibits those of his father and he has realized this and has been doing things to fix himself. I know these things take time and We both love eachother so much and connect so well. The only issues are the way he handles “conflict” when it shouldnt even be conflict, rather a disagreement or just me pointing out something I dont like. Things get blown out of proportion. He puts his walls up and feels he needs to protect his ego. After all of it, he realizes what he did wrong and is so remorseful. Genuinely. But the same things keep happening and he recognizes he needs to change but he cannot afford therapy. Life has been very stressful for him, and I can understand it. I dont think he means to do any of these things but his father basically taught him these behaviors. I want to be here for him but its hard when Im the one dealing with the side effects. I know he needs therapy as he knows aswell. I wish it was easier to get mental health care. If there are any resources or advice that some can provide me, I would be so grateful.
1. Fighting a lot 2. Hiding things 3. This way or the highway 4. Feeling guilty 5. One-sided relationship 6. Putting you down 7. Refusing to do things that matter to you 8. Codependency 9. Making you insecure 10. They’re abusive 11. Changing yourself to be what they want 12. Being unhappy
wow... so ive finally left a 9 year long relationship and now reflecting I can see sooo many problems!! I stayed around so long even though I wasn't really happy. he's my best friend!! just not my lover. almost every single one of these is true to us and i can see that now because ive let go
I just vented a little and told my Girlfriend my feelings. She said that she didn't want that and that she wants to change. I am happy that she realized how often she let out the anger on me. As if I were her punching bag. Since she often goes to the therapist because of her depression, which she also had before our relationship, she wanted to discuss this with her therapist next time as well. I hope she will change and accept me for who I am. It was difficult in itself to vent because I have autism, I always feel sorry for everyone, I didn't want to make her think she was a bad person and I was scared of losing her.
I haven't gone out on a date with my gf since the 29th of september 2019.The only time we spend together is the 15min to and from work.I didn't even get a hug on my birthday.She only seems to care about work and never has time for me even if it is just dinner after work.
i’ve had all of these problems in my first and last relationships, damn i fcking hate relationships and love after such an exhausting experience, i hope i’ll never fall in love again, such a terrible feeling
I saw my friend watch this and I felt so bad because then I realized I was being so toxic. We’re now better friends and I’m learning how to be a better friend
Ima get you to meet someone; She Survived 5 years of bullying and counting. She comforted her sister after surgery and depression. She lives with her spoiled brother. She started a YT channel on accident, and is becoming famous. She saved all of her pets from shelters. *_This girl is me._*
How about ? 1. They don't trust or believe you. [Eg: you told you made something extraordinary and they question are you kidding me? Until you prove them you made it] 2. They always say they're correct. They're always right on the both sides of a coin. 3. They want you but can't understand you or express their love much. 4. They hardly ask you out. And sometimes you initiate a lot and then they make time to meet. 5. They don't want you to be around men. 6. They compare you with other women or men 7. They stop you from doing something you like and tell you they're really concerned about you hence they don't want you to do it. Are these red flags? But they always tell you they love you. They want you. They never want to loose you. At any cost.
What’s your unhealthy crush? Comment below! ;)
I think my crush likes my best friend
(ノ`Д´)ノ彡┻━┻
Since my bf hurted me emotionally pain so much so many times I'm starting for someone else who care
I used to had a crush before into some guy who is bad towards me, even though he's saying those words that could easily hurt me i still liked him. But now im starting and trying to move on
@@wynninglilac I used to meet the same thing
He said I'm so dumb and other words that hurted me I finally move on after two year and when I'm in relationship he's starting want me but I Chase him away
Everyone should keep in mind that your partner probably doesn’t even realize they are doing these things. So it’s a better idea to point them out to him/her first and try to see if they work on them before just throwing away the relationship. Just a thought.
Exactly !!
This is good advice. Self-awareness is key! Sometimes it might be us, who knows?
Psych2Go you can't agree with instawise after this video! They are saying you're wrong this videos isn't healthy. It's bad advice that could lead to unhealthy results
Some of these things, yes, but not all. One example: It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that calling your significant other down is wrong.....
Instawise unless your partner is a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath. Don’t feel remorse for them.. they know what they’re doing and they love it
If you had to search for this video, that’s a red flag in itself
well said !!!!!!
Shit you got me there 😅😞
I was caught red handed lol. Read my comment and it makes sence
Agreed
Yuppp. Im just trying to see if its just me being paranoid or if the uneasiness in my gut is true. Their my ex but i cant let go but the more i stay the more unhealthy it gets. I was in a good, caring and loving relationship, but instead i keep being infatuated by the person i hate to love and love to hate.
The toughest part is leaving such partner, coz by the time u realise that ur relationship has becoming toxic, u have become quite attached to that person
true
Yeah!!
And it's called codependency.
@@dikshaa7401 Move on, go with the flow and don't turn back.
Especially as women are considered weak, we must never let them over take our mind.
It's better to move on, the time we realise we should rather than having a heat break at the time we've let the other person over power us
She left me because i stood up for myself and fought against her Toxicity. My heart shattered when she did. About a month later she spoke about it in a Livestream a friend of mine happened to see, he screen captured it and showed me how she talked about the relationship and me. It was hurtful, disrespectful, she openly admitted to flirt with others while in a relationship with me. She admitted to read Soft porn while laying next to me in bed while cuddling (small context, she’s lesbian, i used to be her best friend (i‘m Male), she hit on me and started the whole thing, she asked me to f*ck her when she was single bc. She wanted it, she acted like she liked it, she asked me out and if i wanna be her boyfriend.) in the stream she said the Sex was bad, it was unromantic, it was weird, she read lesbian soft porn while cuddling with me in bed and later having sex with me. (Another context, it revolved about her, i came once in many months of relationship, she never told me she didn’t like it, even though i asked many many times if everything is alright, if i should do something different bc. I‘m inexperienced and wanted her to be happy.) Our relationship started after being best friends for about 5 and a half years, and lasted for 6 months when i ultimately stood up for myself and only wanted minor adjustments because i simply couldn’t handle it anymore. I truely loved her, she admitted she had feelings, but most likely they were out of desperation bc. She broke up with her Ex girlfriend only a few weeks prior.
That was the moment my Heart broke a second time.
*Don't get me even started on emotional and physical abuse*
There is no coming back from that. Let go and heal.
O'SSÉIN - Master Your Mind With Me just want to say that letting go doesn’t heal. Emotional and psychological abuse create habits and behaviors that take AGES to fix, if at all. Letting go of the past is a step, and a big one. But it’s the first of thousands. Keep in mind, trauma isn’t caused by holding on to the past. Letting go alone doesn’t fix things.
Therapy?
You might need to go to it, looking at all your fake “deep” quotes, sadboi.
get out xd
Arc2301 Calm down, I just said his quotes look deep but aren’t really
@@CorynWarriorKitty so so good, so true. No one "needs" to let go in order to heal!! It even can be dangerous to our system. Letting go involves the body and is not the only way to heal!!
"No relationship is better than an unhealthy relationship"
That's a tough one to swallow, considering how many people stay in those situations because for them it's better than being alone.
They only think it's better.
Alcoholics think they can't live without the bottle.
This is so true. Sometimes people are afraid to be alone. What other reasons do you think people stay in unhealthy relationships?
Psych2Go I think some people stay in an unhealthy relationship because they might be guilt-tripped into staying
@@beanyeet2771 thats so true, i had an ex who threatened to hurt himself if i leave him. It was such a toxic relationship and i knew it wasnt good for my mental health and my relationships with friends. I loved him, wanted to leave, but not at the cost that he would hurt himself... Im so glad im out of that now, but people are always saying "why do these people stay?" Because it is human decency and love involved.
Psych2Go people often stay for the children. Abuse aside, a lot of these problems in your video are resolvable. It may take time but it’s not the case that all these issues are “get out of there” type situations, as you seem to have implied in the video. Following all of this advice could cause some seriously avoidable misery for many.
It's hard when your relationship is like a rollercoaster, sometimes you feel or know that you are in a unhealthy relationship but moments after you start to create courage and think about ending things over, your relationship starts to have a really good time and you can only wish that it would never end... It's good till bad things happen again, like a never ending circle.
My partner is a playboy. He likes to sweet talks to others especially girls..but he never communicate with me.. not even reply my texts. I want to end this useless relationship because of this dysfunctional partner but he never want to let me go. I wish I could end this useless relationship, so that he can continue sweet talks and wooing other girls like he used to do now..so that I am totally not in that sad circle again..
i feel the exact same way...
@@faridah8960 dump his ass, nd even if it feels lil bad cz you da one who ended it, you will feel way better
May be it's better to have stable relationships, not rollercoaster. I'm not sure, that person can always feel high in healthy and long lasting relationship
Faridah Ismail you deserve better. Leave his ass.
*Whenever you feel that*
- your energy is drained, not recharged after spending time together
- you don't feel uplifted after meeting your partner
- your partner constantly pokes at you, making fun
You have to go separate ways.
the third one has exceptions of course, as both me and my partner poke fun at each others but in a fun and not hurtful way- but if your actually getting hurt and what they've said hurt you greatly, then yes, you gotta leave
@@minnowthewarlock5988 I totally agree. Couples that play together - stay together.
It has to be mutually accepted is what I am saying. Good point.
Whats matter besides, at the third point, that the other should feel, if that poking is relevant and wont goover the borderline. Idk know if u know what i mean. Like, when the other makin fun of you or of your action constantly, and do not think at all about that maybe thats not that funny, or too much, or you just had a bad day, and he does not have a little EQ for feel, when to stop. But yeah, all you two, have a point there.
@@osse1n
Oof that’s how i feel with my mom..
@Vanessa i feel you...mine does too and says I'm too sensitive..I know we can have a healthy relationship,I see potential too but idk...
I'm not even in a relationship but ima watch this anyways
What are your thoughts on this video so far?
@@Psych2go niceeee
@@Psych2go but no girl :(
Same here I came here just to learn psychology
Almost 23 and still single *sigh*
When you realise you don't want to leave but you _need_ to.. that hurts so bad ngl
... did u...?
@@187kmh I did ! That was the hardest decision I've ever made but it's def worth it !!
That hit me ouch 💔 😪
Have gone through this man. And I still love her but don't know how to deal with my own emotions
I did this yesterday. Feeling like I'm dying rn. But I needed to leave
I was personally in an unhealthy relationship but instead of breaking up, we loved each other too much for that. So we talked things out and made changes little by little. It's worked.
Can you reply to my comment?
Francesca Tunno what
@Zy’keria Gamble the video literally said it bruh pay attention 😟
It wasn't really unhealthy if you managed to make it work
Ketz
I guess their communication was lacking.
Lastly, they get angry each time you try to openly communicate with them but expect you to listen to them when they communicate with you
This is what I feel😫 everytime I want to open up with him I am fearful that he might be mad about what I want to talk about and then when he wants to talk I am open with him thats why sometimes I am not happy anymore😭
They expect you to listen to them and not interrupt or reply until they are done speaking smh yeah I have been there....take it slow and make a plan and leave you deserve better!
@rosettesionne9133 So true !!
Im 40 and I've been single for 10 years , i left my ex because i realized i was the toxic person , i wanted her to be happy.
i hope uve found someone 💖
10 years 🥺😭😭😭😭
That's fantastic you realized this & did the best thing you could do. I hope you've found happiness & if you are seeking/sought help for this, you are doung well. Good to luck.
Uhm you could have tried to be better for her instead of leaving
I respect that very much. Most people would such a selfless thing. Wishing you the best.
1. You fight... A lot (yelling matches)
2. You hide things (lying, dishonesty)
3. This way or the highway (no compromise and discussions)
4. You feel guilty
5. It's one sided
6. They put you down (and dont support you and your dreams)
7. They refuse to Do things that matter to You (no respect)
8. You are Codependent
9. They make u feel insecure
10. They're abusive (verbally, physically, sexually... Get help and get out!)
11. You change yourself to be what they want (they don't love you for you)
12. You're unhappy
thank you my dude, always appreciate these helpful comments :)
And if they get you trying drugs
What do you do if your relationship with your parent has most of these signs?
All this.... Is what I'm going thru im scared to get out... I don't feel beautiful anymore im unhappy, we are fighting sometimes and theres times when we love each other but ... Its not the same.. Im so hurt that this is happening to me because i love her... 4 years down the drain already because im unhappy.... Idk what to do . we live together
@@jayviolet7480 I'm so sorry... Your situation sounds really rough, especially with the lock down going on. Have u tried counseling (is she open to it)?
13: when you think of your future, you don't see your partner anywhere.
Guinea pigs are cute- And it can make the feelings of guilt so much stronger. Especially if at one time, you couldn’t imagine your future without that person.
yeah he keeps talking about how we will get married, and it first i saw it too, but over these 8 months of dating him, i started to realise how annoying he can be, if im not calling him or at least texting him multiple times in a day he starts suspecting me of cheating, when he will start telling me how in his dream he had sex with other guys, he gets mad and overreacts over everything, and now our whole friend group keeps saying that they will see us getting married, and now i feel bad for wanting to break up with him, i told him that i wanted space but he started to act like he was depressed and started saying how he would kill himself.( ive only dated girls before so this was my first guy i ever dated, but honestly over this time i kinda reliased that im still straight inside, not that i have a preference though i date whoever makes me happy(ノ´∀`*) sorry for the long text(@@;)
@@chickenbox400 your bf honestly sounds like a very toxic person, if you want to break up with him, you should. Don't feel guilty about it. He's not going to kill himself because you break up with him.
Chicken Box him telling you that he will kill himself because you said you needed space is literally a form of emotional abuse, he is trying to manipulate your love and fear for him. RUN
@@chickenbox400 late comment but approach him about these things. Bring it up and listen closely for his reaction. Sometimes, as you would know, men are stupid, and sometimes we stay locked on a certain type of mindset. Bringing up your issues is a good way to kinda snap them out of it if they really love you. If they don't...its probably time to gtfo of there
Here's the issue with the guilt and insecurity ones: if you've experienced longterm abuse from other people, you sort of get stuck into always feeling guilty and insecure no matter how people treat you, which is why those who have been in abusive relationships, had abusive family members, etc have a hard time knowing whether or not a relationship is healthy.
Walking (or talking) on egg shelves is another big one: when you filter what you say and do around them because you clearly know that talking about a certain person or experience in your life will make them flip out.
I mean, we are all a bit careful what we say and do in the beginning stages, that is ok. But when you are clearly aware that some topic and actions are better to avoid even if they are important to you, well, that was a big sign for me (that I ignored for quite some time). 😀
That is so true. Have you ever experience this before?
I have and it took me some time to get out but better late than never, right? That is why I am sure your video can help many people!
I recently got out of a relationship like that and it also ticked many of the traits mentioned in the video. It’s sad cause I truly loved him but I had to leave to protect myself.
You can have not quite-the-opposite as well, when a person believes they have to walk on eggs shelves just to talk to a person when in reality that very belief and the actions which follow - Not talking about certain subjects etc... End up drive you apart.
Going through this right now....
I felt great saying "nope, not us" to each of these signs.
That's great to hear! How long have you guys been together?
Sin you go girl! Me too :D
same! ❤️
if you really do trust your relationship then you shouldn't be watching these vids cause that means u just have doubt js...
@@karenuwu3396 This makes no fucking sense
Its hard to swallow the fact that words & action isnt enough if we look at the patterns.
U'll understand when u start fighting over the same thing iver and over again
"No relationship is better than an unhealthy relationship."
Thank you for that. I really needed that.
How about signs of a healthy relationship next? So we don’t take it for granted
That's a good idea! I will discuss this with the team. Stay tuned :)
Thanks to all the videos on toxic relationships, I was able to see that my boyfriend wasn't good to me. He was very manipulative and always played the victim card. Thanks to you I was able to break free from him and end our 3 year relationship.
Now I am happier than ever ^^
I'm getting the same thing from my girlfriend NOW!
I'm getting the same thing from my boyfriend and our relationship is also of 3.5 years , it has become quite unhealthy but I've grew so attached to him that I can't think rationally
I prefer a healthy life then a healthy relationship
You can be in a healthy relationship during a healthy life
Well no shit
10000 subs with no Videos Better to be single and healthy xD
Than*
but wait, imagine if just, hear me out here guys
healthy relationships make healthier lives? what? that's insane
12 “You’re unhappy “
Should be the most obvious, but people “in love” don’t like admitting they are unhappy.
“And who are you to say I’m unhappy?”
..yeah
I've just ended a relationship with someone who, on the surface, was perfect and open with love but due to so many past abusive relationships, tended to take insecurities out on me, I ended up putting my life on hold too afraid to admit to her what I was doing as I knew it would end up being an argument which would only end when I took full responsibility on why it started even if I didn't. Did everything I could to make her happy but at the cost of my own happiness.
I've been doubting if I'd made the right decision and this video helped to see that our relationship was actually very unhealthy. Thanks Psyc2go
I need a playlist with just her voice. So calming, so nice
I feel u haha
Two months before I‘ve been in my first relationship. I really loved my bf back than and we we‘re very close . We started dating in January and everything was great until February. I startet to feel depressed in this relation ship. I cried myself to sleep every night,not knowing why I felt that way . This stage continued and got worse everyday to the point I thought about sucide. In May I found out that my bf was the reason for me feeling bad ,but I didn’t want to believe it . I knew that I felt insecure because I wasn‘t sure if he really did love me as much as I did , I started to hate myself and change for him and I totally forgot about my friends and didn’t do anything with them anymore. He also started to get mean...My dream is it to become a Therapist ,so I could help people . I told him about it and he just laughed at me and said that someone who’s depressed like me can’t become one . I noticed how unfair he was sometimes and I even thought about breaking up often because I felt such bad ,but everytime I wanted to he was acting more romantic etc. and I forgot about everything . But then he broke up ...over WhatsApp. And 4 days before everything was fine and he even wanted to marry me that time . Afterwards he already tried to get a new girlfriend just to make me jealous and I felt worse than ever before . But now I‘m glad that I got out of this and I‘m finally able to be happy again !😁 But I‘m still scared that he‘ll might try to come back one day and I‘ll fall for it... I never want to feel that way in an relationship again
We don't ever want you to feel that way again and want you to be happy always! Be strong!
I loved so much that i had to let my boyfriend go. The relationship felt too codependent that without me he can’t live. Literally. He threatened to kill himself. I had to step away so he can see clearly of the mental abuse he put me through. Making me feel guilty about not being with him. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I'm going through the same thing... He has been through a lot and he thinks I am all he has... And I know that's not true... He constantly says how he will cut himself if he goes through anything horrible again, so I've been scared to do anything that would hurt him in case he cuts himself again T^T. But at the same time, he is so clingy, and I mean SUPER CLINGY, and when I say, "hey can't answer rn, I'm with a friend" he gets really sad and angry saying that I thought of my friend more than I did of him... He even gets mad when I'm just hanging with family, like... Omg.... I knew it was a toxic relationship... Anyways, even though I am frustrated, I am so scared to break up with him in case he cuts himself again, or worse... Kill himself. Then I'll never forgive myself...
@@Reverie876 I totally get that, that pops into my head from time to time with my current bf. It wouldn't be your fault, you cant control what others do. I believe my bf feels I'm the only one this close to him and if we were to break up id be worried because he said he'd never date again and not have the kids he wanted because he doesn't want to invest in another person after me. I worry that his tendency for suicidal ideation would worsen if we split up too.
@@jujutsucryin3256 How did we get ourselves into this DX.... I feel so horrible about it, I honestly don't know what to do... I get that I shouldn't stay in a toxic relationship but at the same time I also know that if I left him now it would be out of selfishness and I can't do that to him
@@jujutsucryin3256 however... I talked to him about it recently, I told him the most major problems our relationship has and he said he felt really bad that I felt that way, now he's doing a lot better and is being more supportive and trying really hard to make sure that it's not just a one way relationship
@@Reverie876 that’s great to hear, I’m trying to muster the courage to communicate
I get paranoid sometimes about the relationship I'm in and start watching these videos but honestly they just always prove that I'm just being paranoid because my relationship is extremely healthy and anytime we feel paranoid or insecure we talk about it and reassure each other that all of those thoughts are irrational and normal and work out how to fix it and I'm honestly so so happy with the relationship I'm in I'm always excited to see her and I love her company and everything about her we talk like everyday but if we didn't we'd be perfectly fine with that too and hhhhhhhhhhh I just really love my girlfriend ❤
It's good to know that you are in a healthy relationship :) How long have you been together?
@@Psych2go 8 months strong ❤
Yall communication is strong!! I have a negative mind and i come up with irrational thoughts. A lot that i start to confuse myself and cant tell whats real and not. Im not sure if that makes sense but I use to be so open towards my other about it that it drained him. We arent in a serious relationship but we are exclusive. Yet i dont like how he talks about other girls. How they attractive they are, it bothers me and i felt comfortable to tell him that i dont like it. He got dissapointed or felt some way and said they were just comments. That might be true but i have dealt with insecurities my whole life and i grown so much. But for the guy who i really love to say things like that hurt me. I start to compare myself and my self esteem goes down. They are days that it affects me badly and days that i am just over it. But what i hate the most is that he doesnt consider how i feel and continues. How did you manage to keep a healthy strong relationship?
@@lesliegarcia7019
Love is respect. You shouldn't feel disrespected or drained in your energy by him. For sure, some situations need their time and certain developement of clearness for each partner. Being in a relationship means being secure enough about yourself e.g. being aware of your boundaries or seeking your values in each aspect of your life (personal, work, relationships)
Your partner doesn't need to change for you but for himself. It is important that you both give each other a safe room to speak up which includes insecurities. Yes, he is not responseable for them but for his reaction. He should be understanding and respecting. Saying, that those comments are just words is not understanding but manipulative to you in a certain way.Especially when you're not aware and familiar of/with certain boundaries / standards in (close) relationships. Let me say: A person that loves you wouldn't bring themself in the position of loosing you. You are appreciated and wanted.
@@lesliegarcia7019 If he loves you for the person you are, he would care about your words. He would think about the words he is telling you/in front of others/when you not there. Because he respects you and values the wonderful being you are. Because he would never want to see you down or hurt by him. You do not feel respected. He is not really with you but with him and his standards. Those seem pretty low to me, I only know what you wrote but thats my impression. Love yourself.Align your actions to your standards. Live the life you want to live and not what you think, you all are not deserving. Spend your energy for you and not these draining thoughts which means eliminating everything, that keeps you from your best life. Even if you are by your one and it seems no one is recognizing it. The people loving you will stay and treat you so.
I watched this video after months of not feeling happy in my relationship. It taught me so much about what is right and wrong. Massive red flags, I had missed. I knew after watching this video and sleeping on my decision, breaking up was the right thing to do. My ex was saying things to hurt me and take him back but I knew it was just him manipulating me, like he had done for the majority of our relationship. It’s been two weeks since we broke up and I feel so much better. Thanks for creating this video, you saved my mental health.
It's sad to know when you love someone but he or she does almost all these things.
I wish I had seen this earlier. My relationship with my ex was all of these signs. I hope people who are in unhealthy or even toxic relationships right now will come to learn to let go of these relationships. It's a living hell and it's better to move on then to hold onto the toxicity even if you love them. Sometimes it's just never meant to be
Sorry to hear! How are you doing lately?
@@Psych2go Healing. But so far, I'm not doing too bad. Thanks for asking! :)
@@YukiCamui425 any update now?
Thanks for the video, it was definitely eye opening. I've been depressed a lot lately in my current relationship of 3years and I felt I was the problem. I'm in college and I live with my girlfriend, so it's been tough and sadly I haven't made many friends here. My family and friends now live 5hrs away so I'm stuck with hanging out purely with my gf but she is always getting upset when I have to study or want alone time. I feel like I'm being sofficated, so I recently started calling and talking with friends and family a lot but she gets upset that I'm so excited to talk to them and says I'm not that upbeat with here. I work my ass off to make her happy and spend time with her, I even do all the cleaning, dishes, laundry and buy most of our groceries, but she never seems to appreciate it. She gets angry with me when I ask if she’ll start cleaning up after herself or if I say I can't afford to do something, such as take a trip in the middle of the semester. It wasnt until last night when I mentioned to her I didn't appreciate that she was being rude to me for taking 30min to clean up after dinner instead of immediately watching a show with her and leaving a mess in the kitchen. She then proceeded to yell at me for even mentioning I was upset and started bringing things I've done in the past up. I told her I wasn't going to be treated that way and left the room, shortly afterwards she came out and yelled at me again and angrily said sorry but then proceeded to say it was my fault. I told her I wouldn't accept that sort of treatment anymore and she then retracted her apology and said she didn't mean anything when she apologized. Before she left the room she let me know I was a bs, that I was the meanest and most cruel person and she couldn't stand anything about me, followed by an “ I hate you so much.” I didn't say anything back except that I was going to sleep on the couch. She screamed and cried in the room for awhile and I sort of felt bad but I realized it's her playing mind games. She woke me up at 2am to say sorry and I said I forgive you but when I said I was still going to sleep on the couch she told me I was ruining her life. I'm exceptionally upset atm and only slept 2hrs before coming to class but I've decided to stay on campus and out of the apartment today. She's already called me 5 times today and said terrible things about me. I send her a message telling her I wanted us to communicate in a healthy manner and respect each others opinions and emotions to which she replied you don't care about anyone but yourself and I'm going to ignore any conversation with you. I'm horrified i’ve stayed this long and I'm sad with the insecurities i’ve taken on throughout this relationship, but I know I'll work things out if I can get out of this relationship. I believe I've been too kind and accepting of treatment that I would never do to anyone I care about nor her. I pray she overcomes her demons but I can’t fix her.
You know if you're in an unhealthy relationship. It's just the ability to decipher from it, as you develop a loyal bond to the distructive situation
So true
This is so true! What tips would you recommend to those who know they are in an unhealthy relationship, but not sure how to improve or leave the relationship?
@@robert_trumpeteer yep
This is the most true thing I've ever read
Really does feel liberating after letting go of something that is draining. I still reminisce from time to time but I know I’m a lot happier than I was before. (:
Thank you for this. Not watching because my relationship is toxic, watching it in case I was not aware of my actions that may lead to an unhealthy relationship. I feel like I know my trouble areas now and will work on myself so my relationship does not suffer. ^.^
i’m two years into a relationship and i feel like we’re drifting :( i don’t want to let go but it’s looking bad for me.
I see. I am sorry to hear :( What other plans do you have to solve this situation?
I don't know why but 2 years seems to be the sweet spot for that. Currently dealing with it myself.
@@derekabshire6691 dude right im coming up on my two year mark and it has been the most stressful depressing draining thing ever !!!! Idk if it’s this time of the relationship shit hits the fan or if that’s the time when you see true colors. I’m having such a hard time decifering toxic from unhealed wounds he may have and how it can come up in weird ways , cuz I know how that is. But at the same time I shouldn’t be treated less worthy or made to feel like I don’t matter. It’s such a hard thing to walk away from especially when it’s one of your first relationships and you live together ! Ugh
@@kaitlynnmurphy5608 I have the exact same situation. Human experience huh?
Im actually really codependent and insecure. Though my bf does everything he can to make me feel secure the comfort and reassurance doesnt live long and i always revert back to overthinking and all my irrational paranoia. Struggling with bipolar in a relationship is extremely difficult. Sometimes you end up being the one causing all the problems or believing there are a million issues when in reality everything is just fine. Like something in your life is always getting caught on fire somehow and instead of just getting a buvket of water to put out a little flame you think you saw you end up calling for emergency vehicles all for what was just a lightbulb or firefly all along. It sucks and its so confusing not knowing the difference between whats imaginary and whats reality.
This made me feel so much better about my relationship. I was feeling slightly worried, but now I realize that those concerns were only minor and normal problems between us. Thanks psych 2 go. I love these videos.
This is the 6th/7th video I’ve watched on abuse on this channel. All of them have just further proven that my parents are abusive/toxic, both of my exes were abusive/toxic, and that my current relationship is healthy and happy. These videos have validated everything I’ve gone through. Thank you
This video gives me a peace of mind about my overthinking. I just realized that my relationship is a healthy one. We only fought to the point we starting yelling once, and after that, we both changed and try to talk things as calm as possible. We also never stopped supporting our dreams, and we always update each other as much as possible since we're in long-distance. ❤️
That's good to know, It's a great thing to have a relationship where both people compromise each other
I was in an unhealthy relationship before, it felt very one sided but I’m with a genuinely loving and caring person now
1- you fight... a lot
2- you hide things
3- this way or the highway
4- you feel guilty
5- it’s one-sided
6- they put you down
7- they refuse to do things that matter to you
8- you’re codependent
9- they make you feel insecure
10- they’re abusive
11- you change yourself to be what they want
12- you’re unhappy
For the insecure part: I’m insecure all on my own. My boyfriend brings me up whenever I’m feeling down.
Some days we become codependent on one another, but I have friends who are able to bring me back to reality. And I’m trying to get my boyfriend to make some real friends in the world. Other than ones online because I feel like he needs real people to hang out.
Work on him!! Give him the chance to understand, you cant imagine how satisfactory is to see the love of your life (Or anyone lol it can be a brother too, parents with smoking problems, etc) win a battle that was causing the person to have bad life momments :D
@@Vidadrainer
Well, I am. I'm doing my very best to encourage him that he should find friends. He's just terrified of losing me.
He has Asperger's from an accident when he was younger. He had been playing on a game system one minute and then falling out the window next and landing on his head. He doesn't remember how it happened. Just that it did.
He won't lose me if I know that he's safe with friends and away from his abusive and judgemental step father. One time, he had been shoved against a wall and was being suffocated by him.
I want him to be able to be away from him. I'm more scared of when he's home than when he's away. He had such a blast visiting Japan a couple months ago for 20 days. He was smiling and less cautious about me video calling him and begging for his attention. Like he is now that he's home.
Just got out of a really unhealthy and toxic relationship. Going through shitty time. I can relate to some of the things. I loved him so much
Same here two week today. How are you doing now?
@@quackwackers3621 doing better, thank you so much for asking! I hope you are doing good as well, I kniw what you are going through❤❤
So happy you guys posted this video. I had a bad habit of watching your "signs youre in a healthy relationship" videos & automatically would assume that my relatioship was a healthy one. Especially after wanting to work it out so desparately more than anything, its obvious watching this video now that it easily clouded my judgement. I appreciate this channel to my core. Wish you guys all the success cuz damn, you guys are amazing.
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Imooye Gabriel Ohiolebo your comment looks more like a bot promoting scam likely companies more than compassion that I actually needed at the time. My relationship is better now, actually. & the 1st sentence of your comment made me chuckle. I wouldn’t call what you’re calling your marriage a marriage. Wouldn’t even call that a life, but, thanks?. I guess lol.
Thank you so much. Just left someone and it was tough. This reassured me more than anything else has ❤️
I have an unhealthy relationship with my dad, he always gaslights me, shouts at me, "jokes around", manipulates me, and is just a walking red flag himself..
if you are anxious preoccupied, everything makes you 'insecure' ;)
This is so true. I can relate to that as well..
*Laughs in single*
btw please do another video about social anxiety, please, i feel so alone and not understood
Russian Girl Ksenia YES
Lexi Playz same😟
Thank you for your suggestion. I will discuss this with the team. Stay tuned :)
But why could a beautiful girl be feeling alone, dm me on Instagram let get to know each other,, name:rolezv
No relationship is better than a unhealthy unhappy relationship!!! That is so 💯 correct. I'm middle aged and I've found out long ago that it's not worth it going through any of this people! I'm so happy on my own. If your partner that mistreats you wants to change and truly does change your relationship might be worth it. You will lose yourselves if you continue to put up with it.look for relationships you deserve. Even with friends. Noones perfect but you shouldn't put up with any kind of abuse manipulation or fear at all!
Im having these 12 signs in my relationship now 😔
You should do a video with signs that you don't love your partner anymore!i'm so interested!
i learn so much here! Thanks btw❤
That's a good suggestion ;) We might be posting a video on that soon. Stay tuned!
You should break up with him instead of stringing him along.
@@216trixie wait what?but i mean like if you're not sure🤔like my friend has got a problem and i want to get answers for her
@@ekin1014 Tell "your friend" break up. She knows she isn't in love,,, you don't need a video to tell you that lol.
@@216trixie i actually just thought that it would be something new for psych2go but okay
Every relationship I've been in was unhealthy, now I just can't be bothered anymore.
In my last relationship, everything in this list happened. I'm taking things slow with my current partner. Thank you
I just got my first gf and I’m binging these to make sure I don’t make a mistake, I don’t want to hurt her in any kind of way.
You are so sweet. Sure you will make her happy as long as she respects you as well. Good luck! 💕
hows it going now?
I'm crying because this video made me realize so much about how my relationship is
While I see the good intention of this video, I actually think it could be quite destructive.
It gives very strong advice ( "You need to get out, you are in an unhealthy relationship") based on generalisations ("if you're feeling insecure in any way") for unknown situations (pretty much every one a viewer applies it to).
I.e. Insecurity, doesnt always occur because of others' actions - that's a fact. So telling someone to leave their relationship because they feel insecure, without any knowledge of the context, is careless advice.
Plenty of insecurities come from how people were treated in previous relationships, even though they manifest in the current one.
It's ironic that a video trying to help people get out of unhealthy relationships delivers narratives in such a confident and forceful manner, while actually being unqualified and careless statements... Also common attributes of emotional abuse.
You guys ok? I was worried when i didn't see a post for a while... stay safe you all and dont overwork yourselves.
I thought I was in a healthy relationship this entire time we never fought and i thought everyrbinf was going well until it wasn't...
This video made me realize that it really was like this and idk how to deal with it.
I’m more interested in how a relationship goes from being healthy to unhealthy and toxic over time.. 🤔
"No relationship is better than an unhealthy relationship" yeah probably should've phrased that differently
I was here worried i was too obsessed and attached to my partner. And i think its safe to say
We are perfectly fine, and i just havent felt a love so strong before.
Wow this made me feel so much better!! After 2 long bad relationships whom have I guess both been abusive... I have so much more 💜 for my hubby!! We found each other in grade 9 ten years later our paths crossed as I'm getting outta an abusive one!! He's been great! Like I said maybe it was just ment to be!!💜
Number one:
*Be in a relationship, because why are you looking at this if you are all alone like me?* :'(
Tbh, this is so helpful to those who have problems in their relationship, keep doing videos like this they're awesome. 💕
Little Tae don’t worry they’ll all go away sooner or a bit later.
Omg I feel ur pain bro.
Arctric The Arctric Fox no you don’t
@@GHOUSTTM o hai
@@GHOUSTTM lol I'm subbed to this channel
I like that "no relationship is better than an unhealthy relationship"
We watched this in class and I was literally soo happy that our teacher showed us this vid, cause, when I first heard and saw that intro I was super happy because I really love this channel and it's one of my favorites
Boundaries, boundaries and boundaries! That's the only way to have healthy relationships!
I care about my partner a lot, I'm trying to make sure I'm not being toxic towards them. Thank you for this video 💖
You can’t be in an unhealthy relationship if you’re not in a relationship in the first place
Almost every one of these put a gut-wrenching pit in my stomach.
+1
❤❤❤
Truth is all relationships are not perfect, because everyone is not perfect.
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first sign: u searched this
Only a single one of these seems to check out: Being codependent.
I really love my girlfriend and she loves me too, but watching this made me realize again that I feel like our relationship takes up too much of our lives.
I don't want her to neglect her friends or family for me though I'm doing that exact thing to talk to her more often.
I'm just afraid that one day this is going to ruin the relationship...
Any advice maybe? :/
You should try to balance the time you send with your family members, friends, etc and the time you spend with your girlfriend, so you put in equal effort for the people you love.
Doing things by yourself will enrich you as a person, and as a result, bring more positive in your relationship
I'll try to balance it better.
Thanks for the advice guys :)
@@BustardMustard Anytime :).
I knew my relationship was not good but 9 out of 12. More support in my decision to end it 😔💔
Thank you Psych2Go
Just a little advice for every couples out there from my own experience with my boyfriend ♥
Me and my boyfriend often argue with the same little things. Because I admit, I was the first one who always starts a fight beacuse I get easily angry and frustrated, I know I am just depressed that's why.. So I can control myself not to argue with him everyday, instead, I always sent him a funny memes, sweet quotes or whatever just to lighten up the mood.
But one day, he got drunk, and call me. he said, why don't you break up with me, I don't wanna see you hurting. I understand what he's saying, he told me to break up because, we often fight with each other he hates to see me crying and suffering from these kind of things we do. But then, I replied to him that I won't. I won't let out relationship broke. Why?
I understand the toxic traits we do.. I empathize the things happened to him from his past relationships, I know that he haven't moved on how his ex broke up with him and leave him. That's why I don't wanna leave him alone. It's my choice to stay with him, I don't want to do the same things his ex did to him. I don't wanna hurt him. I know he's having a hard time too. This is not all about me. This is not all about my happiness. But also about for his own sake.
I truly love him, so I will never give up in our relationship for the first time we've met, and confess to each other, I already have made up my mind that I am completely committed, and devoted to this person. He was the coolest man I have ever met in my life he makes me happy, he makes me so special.. But he always teases me 😐 but I don't mind it as long as it makes him happy.
I will make him my last ♥
We will live happily till the end no matter what 😊♥
And remember, just because the relationship starts off as looking healthy, it does not mean it cannot change to become unhealthy. In the beginning of my relationship, my partner was very supportive of my goals, but as the relationship progressed that started to change. He started to make fun of my singing, my novel (aka saying, "I'm not interested in hearing your 'insights'" and saying he wanted to date someone dumb and he didn't like that I cared about school. He would make fun of me for liking school and my grades saying, "I can't give you an A for that," whenever I would tell him I deserved better and I am good to him. He would shift the blame onto me a lot calling me controlling when I checked in on him as I was concerned about his drug use, I did not try to force him to stop but I was concerned and I wanted to check in. His friends made fun of my ideals and values (feminism) and started making sexist jokes and made jokes about my dog dying. I felt unsupported by my partner who sided with his friends over me whenever they would bully me. After he broke up with me, I felt confused because I thought he was the perfect partner, in the beginning of the relationship he took me on expensive dates, traveled with me, had an incredible career and supported my goals by coming to see my shows. But in the end I started to realize that he was just infatuated with me his commitments and promises of love were not met by his actions. The relationship took a turn for the worse and now I pray we never come into contact again. I do not hate him, but every time I speak with him he lashes out at me and calls me names. I always think it will be different before the phone call, but it never is. I wanted to write an article about my feelings but he threatened and scared me out of it. But I think I still will. I lost feelings for him now, but I feel very afraid and anxious all of the time. His friends tried to tell me the relationship was not abusive and called me names for saying it was, but I know the truth. My ex-partner emotionally abused me. And I do not have to stay silent about it, despite threats. Relationships can be healthy, but what I recommend is setting clear and consistent boundaries from even before you enter the relationship, and if they are not being met, have the courage to leave. This can change at any time during a relationship, so it is important to always be aware of yourself and your feelings and your partners feelings. It can be very hard to tell when your partner is just making a one off mistake or is consistently bullying you, but once you identify abuse in the relationship, do not give your partner another chance. End it forever. There is nothing wrong with being single, always choose being single over being in an unhealthy relationship, it could ruin your life.
He hit me once today ; his friends think it was just a mistake but I feel hurt ; I feel like I’m the problem .........I’m always making excuses for him acting that way . It’s just so sad
This woman's voice was so soothing to listen to
Me: *single af*
UA-cam: *12 signs you're in a bad relationship*
Me: "why not?"
I know what can work for your happiness, relationship, prosperity and other problems contact me
Phone number +13182307464
Email kaywonders6@gmail.com
Prophet Joshua
God be with you
Iv been in a relationship for about 5 years, we have broken up before due to the same issues of his behavior. He has opened up to me about a year ago and told me hes never told anyone that he went through horrible childhood abuse, I knew his father was not a good man but I never knew this. His behavior often exhibits those of his father and he has realized this and has been doing things to fix himself. I know these things take time and We both love eachother so much and connect so well. The only issues are the way he handles “conflict” when it shouldnt even be conflict, rather a disagreement or just me pointing out something I dont like. Things get blown out of proportion. He puts his walls up and feels he needs to protect his ego. After all of it, he realizes what he did wrong and is so remorseful. Genuinely. But the same things keep happening and he recognizes he needs to change but he cannot afford therapy. Life has been very stressful for him, and I can understand it. I dont think he means to do any of these things but his father basically taught him these behaviors. I want to be here for him but its hard when Im the one dealing with the side effects. I know he needs therapy as he knows aswell. I wish it was easier to get mental health care. If there are any resources or advice that some can provide me, I would be so grateful.
He's a narcissist , let him go He's gaslighting you.
1. Fighting a lot
2. Hiding things
3. This way or the highway
4. Feeling guilty
5. One-sided relationship
6. Putting you down
7. Refusing to do things that matter to you
8. Codependency
9. Making you insecure
10. They’re abusive
11. Changing yourself to be what they want
12. Being unhappy
"no I'm fine!"
*Watches*
"Well fu-"
SAME
wow... so ive finally left a 9 year long relationship and now reflecting I can see sooo many problems!! I stayed around so long even though I wasn't really happy. he's my best friend!! just not my lover. almost every single one of these is true to us and i can see that now because ive let go
Her voice is really relaxing ❤️
I think my friendship just ended and I feel so fucking low... When relationship don't work because they're so toxic is so aggravating!
Update: two months and already see colours and I feel like that was one of the best decisions I could have made for myself!
I just vented a little and told my Girlfriend my feelings. She said that she didn't want that and that she wants to change. I am happy that she realized how often she let out the anger on me. As if I were her punching bag. Since she often goes to the therapist because of her depression, which she also had before our relationship, she wanted to discuss this with her therapist next time as well. I hope she will change and accept me for who I am. It was difficult in itself to vent because I have autism, I always feel sorry for everyone, I didn't want to make her think she was a bad person and I was scared of losing her.
I haven't gone out on a date with my gf since the 29th of september 2019.The only time we spend together is the 15min to and from work.I didn't even get a hug on my birthday.She only seems to care about work and never has time for me even if it is just dinner after work.
Everyone in relationship
Me: I want a boyfriend!
Watch this video
Me: I think I am happy being alone!
i’ve had all of these problems in my first and last relationships, damn i fcking hate relationships and love after such an exhausting experience, i hope i’ll never fall in love again, such a terrible feeling
Every step recommends instant break-up :D First understand what is the background why she/he behaves that way.
Sometimes it's just ego, when your partner doesn't want to compromise or understand you and money minded. Money is not everything my friend.
I like how I think there's tension between me and my partner right now....and this video uploads 🙃
Sorry to hear. Hope this video helps :) How are you coping so far?
Same..
@@terreausore2435 just because there's tension doesn't mean it's a horrible relationship
I saw my friend watch this and I felt so bad because then I realized I was being so toxic. We’re now better friends and I’m learning how to be a better friend
Ima get you to meet someone;
She Survived 5 years of bullying and counting.
She comforted her sister after surgery and depression.
She lives with her spoiled brother.
She started a YT channel on accident, and is becoming famous.
She saved all of her pets from shelters.
*_This girl is me._*
Guys I think i'm in an unhealthy relationship....
*With Food*
Edit: Holy Guacamole, look at the likes! 309! Thank you all!
same 😔
Same 😭
#relatable
Honestly same
Preach
How about ?
1. They don't trust or believe you. [Eg: you told you made something extraordinary and they question are you kidding me? Until you prove them you made it]
2. They always say they're correct. They're always right on the both sides of a coin.
3. They want you but can't understand you or express their love much.
4. They hardly ask you out. And sometimes you initiate a lot and then they make time to meet.
5. They don't want you to be around men.
6. They compare you with other women or men
7. They stop you from doing something you like and tell you they're really concerned about you hence they don't want you to do it.
Are these red flags? But they always tell you they love you. They want you. They never want to loose you. At any cost.
A thing I just need to hear right now
Hope this video helps :)
Yep it did, ty
My partner: *I like blondes*
Me: *I'm breaking up with you*
What’s sad is that my parents act like this all the time.
HEYO SINGLES
where yall at????
I'm here😂
Here😂👋
Here Dm me Ivy_agua
Melody Da Potato looks like me upyour ass lol