28. The Bright Side of a Breakup
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- Опубліковано 27 січ 2018
- In this video Rory discusses the bright side of a breakup and provides examples from his own life!
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He is right. My breakup needed to happen. For me. For my sanity. My well being. And I am forever blessed about it .
Me too
I was exactly like you I let myself go and depended on my partner way too much and had no self love. I know that my breakup needed to happen and I am very grateful for it even though it hurts.
Me too sister! We'll get through it ❤️
Thanks for this
Same. But i also realized hes an asshole and a jerk❤️
This breakup has been tough but I've lost 15 pounds, started hitting the gym, and I have researched relationships extensively through this time to understand how things work and to know myself better.
great job
I studied the stuff extensively as well 1,5 years ago. Got back together with my ex and blew it again by forgetting how to keep up a good relationship. I got too relaxed and blew it up again.
when I feel weak and wanting my ex I watch your videos…
It is really weird how every breakup Ive ever had, was the best breakup Ive ever had. I think about to the girls Ive dated and realize that if we hadn't broken up, I wouldn't have the met the next girl in my life. And even that relationship ends badly, we still had great memories.
Some days you feel good, some days you suffer, no matter what keep on improving and you will enjoy the results.
3 years in a relationship giving everything I had emotionally, my freedoms, my self esteem and self respect..financially gave hundreds of dollars a week towards dates where it wasn't appreciated. She left me on Valentine's day because I wasn't good enough. No sex or affection for 5 months. I'm a good man and feeling defeated tonight but it cant get worse because love is out there and my heart is hurt but ready for kindness. I have been abused for years and she was trying to convince me to kill myself today, I will overcome this because I am better without that poison. Men we got this, value is done by the self estimate
You nailed it in the last sentence my friend.
Bright side?? I don’t have to burn anymore gas on my car to meet him😂
carmen arocho true that!
Wow thank you so much for this. I feel I am in the stage of evolving into a better version of myself. The process of letting go of the past has been slow and very painful but gratifying at the same time. I am putting myself first after years of putting my ex needs and others first.
M N I’m going trough the same phase now. How did this work out for you?
@@jobapache how did it work out for you?
Rory - thanks to my breakup, I have a super clean house!!! And should we get back together, it will give us the chance to address issues that I didn’t know we had. Thanks for the new video!
Haha, been cleaning my flat as well. Getting rid of old bills, electronic garbage etc., which have been lying around for several years :)
It’s been 12 days after the break-up and it’s quite possibly one of the best things that’s happened to me. I’m gaining control of everything again, and it feels fucking amazing. Been completely optimistic about it, and regarding the relationship. I could take it or leave it, after giving it much thought.
The break up gave me a chance to save myself and my career/livelihood! I lost my purpose. Love yourself first.
Yes Sir . this break up woke up the greatest version of me!!!!
I have learned a lot from my breakup too. About myself, about her, about life and what a relationship actually means. I was also coasting with no end goal. I thought I didn't want marriage and children. Too many doubts including self-doubt and self-hate. I am working on that now and it's liberating to have worked out what I want from life now. I wish it could have been with my ex, but that is up to her to come back. Otherwise I hope someone else will come along.
I know this is late but I literally cried when i was hearing this. Thank you so much for the positivity you bring to all of us broken-hearts.
I’m 3 months out of my breakup and I can already see this 💯 it doesn’t mean I don’t miss her and love her and I wish I’d learned this lesson before I met her,, but maybe I wouldn’t have learned the lesson and gained the motivation to change if I hadn’t lost someone I love so much. You just have to take the lesson and accept that it was necessary.
Wow! This is realistic! Thank you Rory. You Rock. Keep it up! And the voice, I love it!
Hammer to the nail with this one!! Thank you ❤️
Wow. That's the most incredible piece of advice I've ever read or listened to. You are amazing 😎
Looking back 6 years ago that painful breakup and since then, lead to the greatest breakthroughs of not just material things, but character traits that I always wanted. Thanks Love Chat for helping us to realize this!!
So accurate Rory, thank you so much ! Your videos soothe me a lot and i feel like I'm growing more and more everyday thanks to them :) Learning a lot, really.
So so so true!!! It forced he and I to have talks about things I was afraid to bring up during the relationship for fear of a breakup, afterward all bets were off we laid it all out in the table, all the insecurities, the times we both felt slighted and why, and just how much the relationship sort of kept us both stagnant in our professional growth (we did a lot of fun things which sometimes kept us from focusing on our careers) after those big conversations, all contact was cut. He booked more gigs, I hit the gym hard and got back into bodybuilding (a huge goal I had prior to meeting him) I moved, got a new car, and even took myself on a vacation. I got to see that no, I can enjoy my life without another person in it, truly dating me and loving me. We removed the need to feel responsible for someone else’s happiness. Now, will we find our way back? I don’t know, if we do it’s as two better humans.
Best Video yet Rory, thank you!
Fernando DelR
I was nodding in agreement the whole time with this one
This is solid gold advice, reaches the inner soul and introspective of ones self...this really hit hime, spot on...thanks Rory
You're very welcome
The thing that I had learned from multiple breakups from my previous partner was holding on to my values and not relinquishing the control of my life toanyone else.
Thank you for making another video!!!!!
Amazing points. Thank you.
I listen to you all the time and all I can say is thank you for all that you provide as inspiration to my breakup. I am making the changes to better my myself. Because like you said, I am the one who has to live with myself. And I like what I am becoming. If only my ex could see, because I really wouldn’t have to say a word. She would certainly see it. Actions always speak louder than words.
I love your voice. Js. So calming. ❤️
you were meant for this ! your voice is 👌
Thank you! :)
Jesus, I'm reliving your situation with this boring life and break up. And this is definitely a wake up call!
Carry on
Inspiration to work on my self i have hit the gym playing the guitar golf archery 10 pin bowling just really living life if anything iam thankfully for the break and thankful for you to guild me out off bad habbits i had you really have changed my life with a better understanding thanks a million
I've had so many breakups with my Ex, I'm tired and bored of them, especially when I've bought groceries and given him money. I'm tired. NO MORE!! 🍒
Woohoo 💖 look at you go Rory, nearing 50k! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Probably your most significant video. Like to see some more on helping us make those changes and working on that growth. Maybe some ideas on how to along with some hope and encouragement to make that growth real
Absolutely right,,,,After the breakup,,I started working out,,,took back control of my home and my finances,,,and cleaned up the clutter she had put all around me...And I finally realized I was just a great opportunity for her and by paying all the bills it freed her money up for her to spend it on her 3 grown dependant kids,,and the 16 grandchildren they had brought into this world that they wasn't able to support,, It made me realize how big of fool I has become,,and how much I really enjoy my peace and solitude. Guilt and regret free,,because that's all on her,,,and so clear now in her face...
It is true, I can prove.
My last break up surely was the worst one I hv ever had in my life
Coz was so in loved with him and I offered so much
But this time made me carry out many stuff that I hv ever been able to do.
I improved my body shape for the first time. I wrote my first book. And started going to enjoy movies at cinema which I did not.
Tkx!!!
Love yourself 100% fill your cup!!!
1:40-2:08 holy sh** RORY, exactly what I did and said to myself.
Like always you are spot on....this breakup needed to happen, not that i like the part of being dumped
I super luv your advice ❤️
Thanks for ur vids
Hi how are you iam starting to look back not just at this relationship but others and reflecting on my life and iam starting to see where i went wrong with my self as a person your videos have not just help me with a break up but a life lesson for the 1st time i feel and have self worth iam a good man with high valve and i am the prize and i have to start putting me 1st you have gave me inspiration inspiration
Short but sweet
It wasn't until I started no contact that I started to heal. I stuck around for a month and a half and all it did was prolong the pain. She got cold and mean. She always was happy to hear about me and wanted to know about my life. She wanted to keep my intimacy but did not want to reciprocate. Today is week four of no contact and its been hard at times. I have lost 25 lbs since the breakup and started working on my mental health. She is on antidepressants so I'm 90% sure on the fact that she will use that to keep from growing and it will take her alot more time to grow from this breakup.
What I've learnt from my breakup is its not that bad coming back to my empty house because I know its up to me alone to make the best of myself and fill my life with good things and nice people. I have spent today pampering myself. I thought about my Ex (intrusive thoughts), but I pulled myself around to 'me'. I may be a bit grumpy that the weight isn't coming off quick enough lol, but I won't give 8n until the jobs done, and not because I'm tired. 🍒
Thanks
Oh my gosh exactly how I feel rn. After the break up I wasn't angry just sad but I understood why. Looking how much I want to help myself and love myself an doing all the things I'm doing rn is probably the best thing that happened to me. I never counted days during no contact because it doesn't matter the only thing I count are the goals I achieve for myself. Honestly I think the break up was necessary for me to change to be a better version of myself. Who knows maybe 5-10years down the line I meet her again and we can start things over but see to make it permanent the second time unlike the first:))) awesome video I hope that once I get a job I can schedule a private call to see if I can this a even more beneficial experience in my life.
great advise!!!...thanks rory
Can you stop making great content...lol...very practical and realistic. I needed to listen to this.
More to come!
I dont have to deal with her unrealistic expectations, her constantly fighting with my family, her avoidance and emotional unavailability, her lack of intimacy or passion.
There were many great things about her, but she never wanted to participate in my life. Everything we did together was something SHE wanted to do, when it came to doing something with me she always opted out.
She expected to have a relationship with her family without putting in any work. She openly hated my mom, and even sent her long ranting texts detailing how she felt my mother was a burden in my life. She asked me to excommunicate my family, as she had, because she felt she would 'never have a relationship with them'.
She was never in the wrong. And when life got hard for me, she gave me ultimatums and then just left. My relationship with my family is permanently damaged, and now I dont have a partner to depend on. She wanted more than what I could offer at 19, she was cruel and compared me to other men. She said she would love me no matter what, and I said the same. I worked through her cheating, her fighting with my family, her insults and lack of ability to communicate face to face.
I am great, I am going to find someone great that will be understanding and want to participate in my life.
I feel my ex will not come back
He still unhappy of me
She could have threatened that she would leave a hundred times and I wouldnt have truly changed. I would have still tried a little, I would still have made my new year resolutions and change for a few weeks.
But now I made a 180 degree turn. Weirdly enough I now have the motivation to do what I have been saying for 7 years during the relationshop that I could change and should do. She told me when breaking up that she doesnt trust me anymore, not that I would cheat, but that I would actually change something.
Well I honestly think she was right. I just feel bad for her that she wasnt wrong to break up with me, because I wasnt going to change. I did it for her at first, but now its what I want for myself. Its just a pity that it needed to get this far...
I wish mine would have stuck around for any of that to even happen. So premature.. First sight of trouble -> gone
My ex wants to return the promising ring which i gave to her. It's been one week we broke up and actually the broke up was from her side and so I went for No contact period after the break up and it's been just 5 days of my NC my ex called me and asked me how am I doing and all to which I replied cold and calm and then she told me to take my promising ring back to which I responded cold and calm and said Ok fine and i cut the phone from my side !! Well is it over ?? I mean she has completely decided to move on that's why she's returning my ring 💍 which i gave to her while proposing 😥
What should be my next step in this ??
Can you make a video about what if we see our ex at work
Rory,I think a lot of people are waiting for your break up story and how and when your ex came back(you mentioned that in comments somewhere)
V. H. I may discuss it one day, but with breakup situations there are so many moving parts, it can be hard to match one situation to another!
@@TheLoveChat have you gotten an ex back then via NC?
Is it ok to post about my growth? For example im seeing body results at the gym and like to post like 10 seconds of my workout.
Sure - but less is more!
Hey Rory, Great video. My ex and I of 4 years broke up 2 weeks ago and I'm about to move out of the place we were living in (she's already moved out). I was going to pack up the plates, bed, her belongings etc. into boxes not only as a gesture, but to in a way to show I've changed. I don't expect a response, but should I do this? Rather then just leaving everything for her to do? And if she does message saying thanks for doing that, should I respond? And if so, what would you recommend with? (We have been in no contact for 4 days)
Don't do any favors for someone who didn't care enough to stay and work it out. You won't gain points with them, they'll only view it as a weak gesture. Stay strong!
Nooo.trust me .they appreciate the selfish man.
Hi Rory.
My ex boyfriend is dating someone else. Just want to know should I contact him I've done NC for 60 days or should I wait for him to contact me. Thanks
There is no such thing as the 30/60/90 day rule, never contact him again. If he reaches out, great! If not, you have your answer.
❤️
My boyfriend of one year asked for space... it’s been a month and he hasn’t contacted me. He’s dealing with financial stress, wanting to retire, I’ll mother and his daughter needing $$$ as she’s getting married in 3 months. Is he trying to have me break up or is needing space a valid excuse? How should I handle this? Looking forward to your advice. Thank you!
That sounds like a guy I know. Amazing.
I think my partner figured out we were not compatible and I feel maybe I wasn’t fully there for him like he does but now I know where I lacked but my partner doesn’t want to communicate and want things back . I just feel guilty all the time , pls tell me what to do , it’s been more than a month for our breakup . Helppp
what if your ex freeze their heart and say its over so they wont grieve the relationship and move on? answer somebody
Same situation he said he's numbed... But he's the one who made himself like that...that's why I feel he doesn't care anymore even if I die in front of him...the thing he said after the breakup he would be still there for me...my health problems started after the breakup... I'm so stressed... Dealing with the breakup then this health issues... I really need a support system and he said many times after the breakup he would be...but he's not consistent... He knows I'm very vulnerable right now... And he lied to me before about his loving forever feelings are never going to change promises... Then this...it's worse lying to me now when he knows I'm in a rough spot..
There is a thing man.. She didn't left me because she miss The old me or because I changed but she left me because I jealoused too. Much... How can I show her that I changed in this situation ??
You can show her by actually working on yourself & your jealously issues. When she reaches out it will be obvious that you've been improving yourself!
Hellllllllooooooooo!! Lol
Rory I need some coaching send me info
Just use my website - www.thelovechat.net/coaching
Is clear break up important in moving on? What to do if your guy just disappear?
That is called being "ghosted" and is a very crappy thing to do to a partner.
@@TheLoveChat So true happened to me
Yesterday I saw him with another girl . I am very upset I think he moved on. 😢
He could just be rebounding. He could just be trying to make you jealous. There may be no feelings or connection between the two, they just like each others' company, and this girl is just there to fill a void for him, while he tries to get over you. A friendship with benefits, that's doomed to fail. You don't know, so stop sweating.
Alan W but do you think he will come back? Thank you so much
@Lubna Kazi how long have you 2 been together?
Xavier Tan 2 and half year
Lubna Kazi and who did the breakup?
I think the insight is... Guys focus on yourself only. Girls focus on the guy.
The way you say it is like it's a mutual loving relationship. But you also say Corey Wayne is one hundred percent right. Yet he says "guys be selfish or it's your fault when it ends" not feel good for both sexes partnership stuff
Girls focus on the guy? Sexist
All these men here going on about women taking them for granted then leaving them. I loved and wanted my husband so bad but he still walked out on me for another woman.
I'm sorry to hear. But their pain is just as valid, there are probably as many flawed men as there are flawed women out there.
I have a question? Do you sometimes miss your ex? @thelovechat
Personally it's been years since that relationship ended, but I think I look back in a nostalgic sense now and then.
Then I take a look at how much better off I am and I don't regret how things happened one bit!
@@TheLoveChat wow, that's tough, but good thing you recovered from 10 years!! I was in my first and only relationship for 6 months..i can only imagine what you went through.
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