Gifted people have trouble finding other individuals who they can have a level of conversation that is interesting. You always end up teaching everybody you encounter.
I had a fun time working at Johnson Space Center, which was about 25 years ago for 10 years. It was fantastic. I was in my mid 40s, working with 20 something yr olds, teaching them how to write lesson plans and teach astronauts and flight controllers. As I explained to them: they knew the technical info while I knew how to get that info from their minds into someone else's mind. I could talk to them about anything! Even as a member of MENSA myself, some of my instructors were truly gifted compared to me. One young lady had just graduated with her aerospace engineering degree at the age of 20. It was actually refreshing not to be the smartest person in the room.
YES YES YES! The desire to SHOW, TEACH, or share something I find interesting is EVER-PRESENT. It can occur at any moment with any stranger. I often have to hold back. Learning never ceases for me. It is always more, more, more, add, add, add, and connect it to something I already know.
That's just too arrogant to learn from others. If you are truly intelligent and have some wisdom, you would realise that everybody has something interesting to share and something you can learn from.
Or, many years in the past, to realise that the teacher is just more stupid than you are, but that you are at school for yourself, not the teacher and that arguing with the teacher will just bring trouble.
@@PauldeVrieze I always knew about it from the age of 7, but what can you do about it? You can't open a bank account and start business on your own. Any ideas will be suppressed by the parents. All little cash you have will be locked and everything you saved will be taken away. There is no where to run, the police will find you and what's the point of running to no where. Just you wait till 18 all your childhood counting days. That's how you live during your school years. Later it takes approximately the same time to recover. I could say I almost recovered at the age of 35, but still need few months.
The validation... My whole life I thought I was the only and the weirdest... Never thought I would cry so many times listening to t h i s video! I only started to understand my child better.
As I listen to this women speak, I am imagining the level of composure she must have to give this talk. I find it admirable. I feel like I should be able to do this. I wonder how that would feel.
Thank you I am literally in tears confirming so many things about my own giftedness and my son's. I always see myself as an average person. Now, I have a gifted child, he manifest so many characteristics that are discussed here. So grateful to get a free seminar on this topic. Salute to you madam.
I am with you... I was raised by parents who were not equipped for raising a gifted child, and so much of this made me tear up over and over. All the flashbacks of not understanding certain social cues and being told "You're too sensitive.", and "You are so smart, but you have no common sense.", and it was like I was just constantly in trouble, disappointing, and letting someone down just for being myself. I also have a very gifted child now, and while I have done better than my own parents, I feel better equipped to raise her now. I feel every parent that people say "She/He is sooo smart." should watch this to understand there is a community out there that understands them.
Another sign is being easily overstimulated. They're so aware and in tune with everything,nosie,motions,feelings etc that they become overwhelmed and frustrated easier then other people/children. It may seem like bad behavior,but if you pay attention to the surroundings/stimulants around when it happens often times there's a pattern.
Well .... one could also say that because when we are understimulated our brain still goes looking for stimuli, and thén all the attention goes to what we also perceive, what would usually become secondary when there is enough to keep us ocupied with challenging , interesting stuff. That being said , we still need to learn how to handle all thw "too much" shit and understand it is "too much " for someone else. We only need to learn how to unwind, like any other person in the world. But not according to mediocre standards, that makes it more challenging: we have to find our own personal standards to unwind properly.
I am a gifted teen (13) and when I saw how long this video was I immediately decided not to watch it, but then I decided to anyway because I’ve got nothing better to do. This was so amazing to watch. Hearing all of my life experiences suddenly be aligned. To speak a bit on my experience in relation to this video, I am always told I talk to much, and I always have. I’ve always been very aware. My handwriting has always been horrible. One time I was at the doctor (or dentist idk I’m telling this based off of what I was told by my parents) and he started talking to me in baby talk (I was 2) and I apparently said “I don’t think your even a real doctor”. I never knew so many of my experiences were due to gifted ness. This really opened my eyes.
you might also would like to look into autism spectrum, bc tbh i see no difference in what's lecture is about and ASD. its sometimes understood more like neurotype, than disorder, depending on a level of support person needs. so naturally people with little or no support needs would be not considered having "disorder", but still could have neurotype.
Born in 1968 U.K. I started main school at age 4 and could already read and write fluently. I was amazed the other children couldn’t write their names or read 3 and 4 letter words, and having no social skills, was outspoken about it! I read through the entire book curriculum in a couple of weeks and they didn’t know what to do with me, so they put me into the next year class where I was treated with contempt. Soon I became known as ‘the naughtiest girl in the school’ and was in trouble so often for things I hadn’t even done. I wish there had been at least one basically intelligent and caring adult around me at the time, but it ended up being punishment all the way.
I was lucky. I just skated through the system. Slow paced drag and mindnumbing repetition. Effortless boring drag. Read books in class a lot. Skipped a lot in high school and junior high. Always passed. Knew how to read before I went to school.
I appreciated this video so much because it described my oldest son to a ‘T.’ He really was amazing even from birth. He recognized both me and my husband as his parents as soon as he was born and made a joyful sound in looking at each one of us individually straight in our eyes. He could clearly see. When he cried, it caused everyone around him to run to him because it was so beautifully sad, not annoying at all, almost like a sweet low mew. It was as though he knew early on how to get what he needed when he needed it right away. People would cry when he cried. No joke. He slept through the night at about the first week. I had to wake him up to feed him. It hurt me not to. He was rolling over at about week three. He was speaking at the age of about a month and a half to three months saying things like “peekaboo” and “ma” and “da” and “yes” and “no.” He was sitting up on his own at about two to three months. He was crawling by about four months if memory serves. He was full on walking by seven months, along with speaking full sentences though with a bit of a baby slur. He could say his ABC’s and count and know all of his colors and tie his shoes and get dressed and put on his jacket by about age two. He was always exceptionally gifted in math and music. He wrote his first song when he was 14 and plays almost any instrument set before him, and sings near pitch perfect and hears and sings perfectly any harmony anyone wants him to play or sing. And he’s a gaming genius. He was super sensitive but always behaved maturely about it, crying silently by himself about things. I had to catch him and develop empathic-type skills so that I could catch him in order for him not to be alone in his grief. He always had to be around adults, even as a young child. He always charmed them. They loved him. He was exceptionally beautiful, too. But he found children silly to be around. Um…yeah. He bluntly thought they were too dumb to have to be around. His one fault. Hahahaha! He was ALWAYS an adult and so couldn’t understand why little people had to behave like ‘idiots.’ Seriously. I had to remind him often just to be a child and let me and my husband be the parents and the other children be kids because he was forever trying to parent the children. Again, he thought they were ridiculous. However, there was the time he was not an adult, and he and his younger brother found a way to get at the chef knives my husband had bound up way above the refrigerator in the cabinet in order to keep them out of sight and out of reach of those perceptively beautiful big blue eyes. But he developed a plan in a matter of minutes to get at them by having his little brother climb onto a drawer he had opened and then to the next and then to climb on the counter and then to walk across it and then shimmy up the fridge to get at the cabinet and get the knives out. He had his brother do it so that he and his brother could play swords together with them all while I took a momentary break from the little geniuses because I had to use the restroom. He was two. His brother was one. That was hard. What would you have done? I no longer went to the bathroom alone after that, or I left the door open. Oh yes, and also he wasn’t an adult the two times they both just had to get at the vitamins and the children’s Tylenol because they were yummy to them but then had to be given medicine in order to throw it up by the EMTs. Again, that was hard. I quickly had to figure out how not to leave them alone even when they would sneak and get up before me in the morning and during naps. He hated naps. He thought they were stupid and a big waste of time. I loved them. That was a struggle. They exhausted me… Besides those incidents when he was two and three, rarely did he get into trouble. And when he did, it seemed to break his heart because he was a perfectionist about just being good. He was one of those kinds of children that all you had to do was shoot him a look or give him a short explanation as to why something was wrong to do in order to have him never do a thing again that you didn’t want him to do. That’s why he couldn’t understand what he saw as the craziness of children. He just couldn’t even remotely begin to understand them. He felt insulted when adults would play games without him because they thought he wouldn’t be able to understand the games at age five and six, him feeling as though he had been rejected by his peers. Seriously, he still tells it like that and still feels hurt about it. I often had to promise to do those things with him, like play grownup card games with him, when we went home in order for him not to go silently cry off in a bedroom somewhere alone while all the other children were running madly throughout the house just having a blast. Moreover, he won spelling contests and math contests, often aggravating teachers because they couldn’t find a word he couldn’t spell. I have it on video. He was one of those children who never did homework yet aced all his classes until high school. It aggravated his younger brother to no end who had ADD yet also had a very high IQ. My oldest son could have skipped some grades but wanted to stay with his class. Some of them ‘got him’ I think is why, or it could have been the whole herd mentality thing. I dunno. But he hated all of the repetition in learning. He’d complain a lot about it. Still, he ended up graduating a year early with no effort at all and could have graduated two years early but wanted to graduate with those who were at least about his age. He hated college because he found the professors immoral and illogical and prejudice against Christians. So he quit. The American system missed out on a huge opportunity, a wealth of intelligence, when it let him go because of its purposeful neglect and incompetence. To sum it all up, I was a VERY young mother, having grown up very quickly; and I had no idea how exceptional both of them were. I thought their achievements and advancements were normal because apparently I was much like they were when I was young. And to put to rest any fears that I pushed them or trained them to advance quickly, no, I did not. Again, I was young and had no idea what I was doing. They did it all on their own with the gifts Jesus gave them. Come to find out my oldest son had an IQ of ~148 (or was it 142?, oh well, he knows my little encyclopedia) if memory serves, and my youngest had an IQ of 132. When they are your own children and you have no way of gauging them against others and when instructors and the school system are inept and don’t recognize giftedness and do not promote it but instead try to stifle it because of ego, conceit, and politics, what can you do as a young parent? Again, it’s hard raising children who are way smarter than you are and your resources are lacking in supporting their gifts. But what a great ride it was! The fun those two brought to me can never be measured. Knowing that educators like the lady in this video are now reaching out to these types of children and are recognizing them as a great potential resource not to be neglected or punished for their gifts is quite a comfort to me for future generations. I do hope it catches on like wildfire. Thank you for sharing the video with us.
I was abused at a young age, and my father was completely absent, I had advanced justifications and analysis of these traumas. At maybe 6 years, I told myself my father, who I knew was an immigrant would have raised me more traditional, so I decided to appreciate his absence. I was labeled G.T. in kinder, never felt worthy of the label. I've heard I'm the smartest dumb person so many times in my life. I also physically matured at age 15, and experienced disynchrony from being treated differently by the opposite sex, not necessarily inappropriate, but a heightened realization I was viewed differently. This was nice to hear...having had the label, I've always wanted affirmation I deserved it.
1:16 "Giftedness" and "retardation" are two sides of the same coin 2:37 "Gifted" people are accused of making things too complicated, taking things too seriously, making everything important, and are "too much" 3:25 The "gifted" are "too sensitive, intense, driven, honest, idealistic, moral, perfectionistic" 11:25 "Gifted" are inquisitive, they ask more questions, more profound questions 13:51 "Gifted" have superb memory 13:58 The essence of "giftedness" is abstract reasoning 14:56 "Gifted" love to learn 16:27 Another quintessential aspect of "giftedness" is preference for complexity 20:07 "Gifted" experience life with great zest and intensity 23:13 "Giftedness" is asynchronous development in which advanced cognitive abilities and heightened intensity combine to create inner experiences and awareness that are qualitatively different from the norm 24:41 Heightened intensity - Dabrowski theory 26:14 We should help the "gifted" not because of their potential, but because of their vulnerability 26:32 They require modifications in parenting, teaching, and counseling 28:31 Internal asynchrony - faster development in some areas (physical, intellectual, emotional, or social) 34:05 External asynchrony - lack of fit with peers/society 45:58 Stanford-Binet LM 46:37 99th percentile on Wechsler scale 47:42 "Gifted"--->Highly "Gifted"--->Exceptionally "Gifted"--->Profoundly "Gifted"--->Terrifyingly (You-Got-to-Be-Kidding) "Gifted" 50:58 2 standard deviations above intelligence norm: special education is needed 59:32 The "gifted" not only think differently -- they feel differently 59:54 "Gifted" have a mind that never turns off 1:00:21 It's difficult to find similar people 1:00:40 A creative mind continuously comes up with things to do 1:01:36 You know you'll do it better than anyone else you know 1:02:01 Standards you set for yourself makes people call you OCD and perfectionist 1:02:17 What you do, you put 150% of yourself into it 1:02:40 "Gifted" people always work hard 1:03:15 Other aspects of being "gifted" : idealistic, self-doubt, perceptive, sensitive, moral imperative, desperate need for understanding/acceptance/love 1:04:28 When you're in the 98th and 99th percentile, it's hard to find anyone who gets you 1:05:54 "Gifted" don't like limits 1:05:50 "Gifted" = intensity 1:07:51 The cognitive and personality traits that comprise "giftedness" are disadvantages in a society in which those differences are not valued 1:08:33 Believe in them, so they can believe in themselves
Asynchrony and intensity... Very interesting lecture, well performed, with great insight and compassion regarding a much neglected fraction of the population.
Thank you, this was a fascinating talk. I felt very seen, regarding the infinite to-do list! I struggle a lot with trying to manage all the ideas that fill my mind all the time, and it's one reason I would happily accept an unlimited life span if it were possible. I've never understood people who say "I don't want to live for ever, it would get boring." One of my earliest school memories (I was about 6) is of having to be given the next set of books to read because I'd already finished the current reading books well ahead of everyone else. In the same class, I would sometimes deliberately be naughty so that I would get put outside in the corridor to work. I did this because I was fed up with the noise from the other kids and I wanted quiet. Two different stories with rather contrasting implications: I was mentally advanced, but I wasn't always happy with my social interactions. I loved the world as a child, but I sometimes had a rough ride too.
My parents always pushed my giftedness aside except for when they use it as a reason for my anxiety. I’m showing them this video in the morning so hopefully the understand what is constantly going through my brain. I didn’t even know most of the things talked about in the video wasn’t normal. I thought I was one of the less gifted gifted kids but now I feel a bit more included. This video just makes me feel so much less alone I never knew how different I think actually affects so much of my life
Hi there Jennifer I thought you might benefit from some things I have learnt along the way - as someone who was never told about their gift as a child. From my experience I can suggest training yourself in Emotional Intelligence. Those tools are exceptionally useful to help you navigate this gifted lifetime :) Also: Turn your focus IN rather than outward and you will see your mindset, life and happiness start to shift almost instantaneously. This looks like practicing self-love, meditation and practices like yoga or conscious movement, and start placing your self-worth not in the opinion of others but rather of yourself. Working with a coach can help with this or even just cracking open a few personal development books. Enjoy the fullness of this life and experience the deliciousness in the intensity in every moment and emotion rather than fearing it! 😍 In terms of finding your life path, good career choices for the gifted and talented include fulfilling your life purpose or Dharma (what you were brought here on earth to do which only YOU can do and which also helps out humanity), working creatively or if not, having a creative outlet in your daily life is KEY for that mental balance. Enjoy, feel, experience and LOVE it all ♥️
I'm guessing it didn't go well. It usually doesn't, since they've known it subconciously sincd you were a kid and they did choose to not accept it. In many or most cases, as gifted adults report.
Same. No one understands what I go through and how my brain works. I’m in 8th grade and been in gifted since 6th because my elementary school didn’t have the program. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t as good as the other kids in the program. The only thing that makes me feel good about myself, is getting good grades. They give me my validation. Last year I got really close to the other 2 girls in my gifted class and I’m SO glad I did. My other friends didn’t understand what I was (and am) going through, but those girls relate to me and I relate to them. There’s lots of things I also found in this video that I thought were normal but turns out they aren’t
If you are gifted, it's somewhat likely that your parent(s) are too.... So they may understand more than you know... And may not have been given coping tools either.
@@hamburgerbrain I do not disagree with you but would like to point out it is not always the case. Maybe it is that more is known and respected about this today, but certainly in the past it was less so. My family were not very well educated and were very old fashioned (parents born in late 1920’s, I was born in 1968) and I have since discovered that they did not see the point in education of girls. My precociousness was a reason for punishment and humiliation. It was as if they resented the fact that I was the intelligent/talented one and not my younger brother and they invested in him rather than me, pushing him into business (non academic, he left school at 14) that he could not handle and I believe was part of what turned him to alcoholism and his early death 2 years ago.
An intelligent being loves to simplify complex concepts, to achieve a holistic sense of being. At the same time, he appreciates n marvels at all the nuances within the concept as well.
That difference between motor and mental capacity kills me! I can feel how to sing, where I should project my air flow, how my body should bend to give me the air support... everything, but my body won't allow me to get there and practicing, studying anything consciously gets me SO overwhelmed! The best time of my life was when I had this friend who'd help me focus and do stuff. Losing her was as painful as losing an arm. Understanding that 18 years later is a relief!
Great talk! I disagree with just 1 thing: I don't necessarily look for more complicated solution to problems, I simply look for more general solutions. Solutions, which apply to a wider variety of cases and have less exceptions, but not just solve the immediate problems in a specific case. Complexity is not to seek for its own sake, but general solutions are what it's all about.
Rather that one will see many perspectives when looking to solve a problem. Some see a closed box.and look for a kid early the top or bottom. Others will imagine 100 forms of entry all unique into that box. Likely the most "efficient" method aswell.
An intelligent being loves to simplify complex concepts, to achieve a holistic sense of being. At the same time, he appreciates n marvels at all the nuances within the concept as well.
Complexity is a relative idea , a person who seek truth will go through a series of questioning , a person who pick what is told to be correct will just repeat. Most of the time , even simple things in life have a depth of complexity , it's just that we normally will not think about it. It is just like most people think they know what is gravity , but in reality even Einstein is seeking to uncover its true form. Or put it the other way around , most people is oblivious to things around them , it seems like "so what" , but great minds are fascinated by the little things in life and made great discovery. WIthout understanding the complexity it holds , a person will never be able to really appreciate the beauty of its simplest purest form. It is very easy to say E=mc^2 , but understanding it is a very complex matter.
I just finished your book and wow! My entire childhood, marriage and children finally made sense. Wish I had known earlier. Thank goodness things have come so far.
I'm just blown away. She describes both myself and my eldest daughter. Even taking into account my case, which at 7 years old was 135 IQ and low vision. They were experimenting with gifted programs in the 1980's and I took part in one of these in elementary school. For my daughter, they no longer have such things. I think gifted programs could be a benefit, they just didn't provide the benefit they were hoping for, as they didn't fully account for increased "asynchrony" possible with a gifted kid's mental, emotional, and physical development. They did not know how to explain the science of "not fitting in". If only our education system were as scientific as Linda Silverman is. My goodness, my youngest kid once was struggling in third grade math, and as her dad, -I- had to prepare and administer a diagnostic test because the "professional educators" didn't do it. and at the parent teacher conference I had to tell them which skill was missing so they could help her. This still boggles my mind. Are American teachers not taught any troubleshooting whatsoever?
Im a gifted person. My favorite thing growing up was taking psychedelics. LSD for its harshly analytical. The insights and incredibly complex profound abstractions. The way the letter A connects to the number 3. Incredibly satisfying for me..
I remember feeling so different from everyone else. It was a very isolating experience. I often wondered if there was something wrong with me & felt so misunderstood! Even though both parents had similar IQ's, they often didn't 'get' me. At about age five, I told my mother I could see the baby she was pregnant with & that it was "black." She hadn't felt the baby move at all that day & I freaked her out. The baby was stillborn & was black & blue from lack of oxygen. We were Lutherans & taught that a certain area at the front of the church was off limits bc God was there. At six, I reasoned that if God loved me, He would want me close to Him & while my mom was preparing the bulletin for Sunday's svc, walked around in that area quite deliberately. At age 14, I was "spiritually reborn." 😮 Yes, I was a talker! At 3 I could recite my parents' names, our phone number & address. I remember my mother accusing me of having logorrhea, i.e. diarrhea of the mouth. 😂 And in high school, she & I constantly went back & forth with puns. I started school at 4, due to the cut off date being end of the year at the time, I was born in November. How I wish my parents & even a few of my teachers had had this kind of information!
This is wonderful support for homeschooling your gifted learner. An education that is tailored to individual strengths and weaknesses is such a blessing.
This video need reach many more people across the globe. Dr. Silverman has answered many questions I had on my mind unanswered for a long time. Thanks a ton for sharing this video!
Thank you for this very comprehensive and insightful lecture. God may have led me to this site so I could better understand why i feel, think, and behave in ways a lot different from other people. While I wish I had stumbled upon this earlier in my life, I am thankful because I still have some time left to nurture that gift and believe again in myself.
Such an amazing speech! All my life people have told me that I'm too much of this or too much of that. I could never understand why they would hurt me by saying these cruel things about me. And these accusations hurt me so deeply. I always suspected that they only said these things because they were jealous, but I could never put my finger on what enraged their petty envy. After watching this video I now know it's because I'm gifted. Thank you so much for opening my eyes to what is special about me and affirming that my giftedness needs to be honored. The next time someone tells me I'm too selfish, too callous, or too manipulative, I will remind them that my differences need to be respected and that I need to be nurtured. Thank you!
Wow. I wonder if anyone knows what records might be available for review if one was identified as gifted in the 1960s? In California my parents received a letter form the school that I was eligible for the Mentally Gifted Minor program. I had great academic difficulty, and at 64 would love any information which could help me and a therapist delve into how best to heal my depression and anxiety issues. I was noted as "highly" gifted and never really thought about how much I would like my inner child to know that I am okay not living up to others idea of potential. Somehow ordinary was a source of shame. I am happy now with my set of values and how I treat others, but still the yearning to leave a distinct mark grows more poignant as I enter the autumn of life. Anyway, I am so very grateful to Dr. Silveman for a talk which resonates on so many levels and gives me hope that I can examine my past and find peace.
This has been the first presentation that has accurately protrayed my experiences, internal and external, eloquently. I'm in my early 40s now, and from my childhood to today, this presentation illustrates the experience clearly. I will be picking up your book (mentioned elsewhere in the comments), to go through. Thanks for analyzing this (us), and presenting the clear picture. May this lead to greater understanding. Cheers.
I remember when at age 13 I had an oral test for which I studied from an university lecture and remember getting a 90% and my effort going unnoticed. High school became a struggle to make others notice me but since there is not a gifted program in my country, I studied from uni lectures in high school and now I am bored af in uni and feel lost for something challenging.
I like her perspective and treatment of the gifted. When I was 5, I asked my mom whether it was ok to not have children after I got married. The decision stuck till adulthood.
I was considered gifted as a child. I went from the English learner program in kindergarten to testing at college level I'm English the following year. I was leagues ahead of my peers. However being an undiagnosed adhd child I was told over and over that I was lazy although I never failed one test in my life I was held back from skipping grades due to my inability to do homework. Now as an adult I've had to learn to look back at my past and accept I was and even now could be gifted. I became an emt without studying, I finished a 3 month dialysis training in 1 week yet I constantly feel like im less than in all areas
Our gifted program was cancelled several years ago. In central Illinois, my daughter was in the program throughout Grade school . The average I Q. Was 140. These kids were a grade ahead of themselves.
I was in Alpha Tau (my district’s gifted program) in Central IL, about 25 years ago. I wish they hadn’t kept it to 4th-6th grade and followed us through junior high and high school to help us into adulthood.
Learned to read and a little bit to write by age 3, all by myself. Bullied by parents and teachers all life long. At 10 I would solve at first reading math tests that would be considered too hard to be solved at my age, I also would spontaneously try to understand advanced geometry since it was how my brain wanted to function on its own, so I solved school tests at 5th grade using theorems I hadn't studied yet, I just found them out on my own even if I was completely unable to "demonstrate" them (I knew nothing about advanced math, I was a young kid in Elementary school bullied by both parents and teachers because I had to stop acting weird). At 12 scored 29/33 on a Cattell's Test, possibly an error (I only was able to demonstrate 27 of the 29 answers, the remaining 2 I likely guessed). Had to finish High Schools on my own cause my parents didn't want for me to graduate. Had to work 8 extremely underpaid jobs for 5 years in order to start Universty, excel, drop out mostly due to economical reasons, all while my parents would pay many many years of private instructions for my elder brother. "Gifted" is just a disability.
I just wanted to echo what a few others have said. I was put in a gifted program at about 7. Experienced dramatic shifts in my ability to harness that academically. All ‘A’s most of the time, barely graduated from high school. I work in a high skill industry, use advanced math and logic daily, never completed college. I feel out of place and unfulfilled in work that doesn’t involve mental gymnastics and gravitate toward relationships with accomplished folks (PHd types). Turns out I am twice exceptional. “Gifted” with ADHD. My daughter is the same. I want so badly to find a way for her to find her way more gracefully than I did. When enrolled at a local “gifted” school she was surrounded by peers who (if they were twice exceptional) leaned toward autism. They had no resources to handle or even identify adhd! At the same time the curriculum seemed exploitative. It seemed so superficial and followed the “gifted” trope. Parents boasting about their kids’ IQ or trumpeting on about all of the extracurricular tutoring they dumped onto their children. I just want my kid to find her people. To feel like her hyperfixations are super powers and not simply distractions. Maybe if the perspective of “asynchronous learning” was embraced kids like her would have an easier time coping with their development. It seems like being able to identify traits that make these kids unique would go a long way to helping them feel accepted and wanted, rather than lonely and complicated.
Hi, I know your comment here is 8 months old, but I was wondering without a degree what your occupation is? I wonder as my daughter is very smart and has been very bored through all the school years (grade 9 now), and I suspect she will be too anxious for university.
@@dawnromanzin2126I ended up becoming a 90s IT golden child. So now I trade between devops, infosec, and Sys administration for a bunch of different businesses. I usually end up working entrepreneurial gigs. If you‘re good enough they‘re happy to have the help. And anyway it‘s like a litmus test. If they want to play games they‘ll pick bones about my official certifications. If not, we just get to work.
I just made the WAIS 3 test. I was diagnosed with ADHD 5 years ago. I’ve always struggled with school and work, I was always to practical and was not motivated by all the small talks of it. The explanation makes much sense on high iq and I had some of the experiences described. I’m not normal. But on their point of view . I’m more than normal on mine
Like, wow! I wish this information was standard and available since the preschool stage for all the ignorant busy parents out there. It's never too late, I will give it my all now because it's useless feeling guilty.
I was placed in gifted programs after a psychiatric evaluation showed my IQ was in the 99th percentile for my peer group. It hobbled my progress and i was not taught in a way that allowed me to learn from mistakes and ask questions. The expectations were too high for me to meet, and a gifted student shouldn't need any extra attention so I was labeled as lazy and not meeting my potential. The 90s were not a great time in education. Its still an embarrassment. I'm 9th grade drop out with two college degrees and several learning disabilities. I did much better when I could verbalize and not feel ashamed to ask for help. As a younger person, the label "gifted" came with the shame of not knowing the answer to the questions I desperately wanted to ask.
You have also described both of my sons to the letter. They cannot tolerate injustice and will stand up and take the side of reason or empathy, whatever the situation dictates. They're incredibly insightful and I couldn't be more proud.
The difficulty with gifted programs in my country (we don't have them anymore) was that they got filled with people who achieved in the way schools liked. Good memory, good executive function people went to these programs. These young people were told they were like Einstein, then got very stressed out and kept up their top marks. The children who were really difficult thinkers might do very badly in school and never got near gifted programs.
I was given a IQ test with a IEP in Middle School because I failed all my classes. I didn't like my class so I just quit working. Turns out I am gifted with emotional problems and math deficits. Every else straight As. Unfortunately after my family was not ideal, in fact I would say it was extremely harmful. I had a few stand out teachers most of them in literature and art.. People never felt lukewarm about me that is for sure.
I concur quirky but hyper aware. You try to avoid trite conversations/knowing what they're going to say and think. Especially since I was raised in the US at the age of 3. Now at my native country.
"Please do not talk down to me" I absolutely loathed children's programming, groups, etc. because I constantly felt like I was being talked down to from the age of 6-7.
When I was a kid I developed faster than other kids (in academic domains, not necessarily in social-emotional ones), now as an adult I have probably "grown out" of it. I think my kids will be the same (my first child is 1, second is a foetus) - my son (the born one) has so far been early with most of his milestones (not so much the fine motor although he's well within the range of normal for it) - I was one of those kids who learned to read at 2 with no instruction. I am planning to homeschool my kids if for no other reason (and I have many reasons) because I do not want them to learn the utter lack of discipline and work ethic I developed through always being able to coast through class without having to put in any effort (or even turn up to class once I was doing A Levels). I am going to make sure my kids know the importance of hard work and are not being compared to some arbitrary age based standard.
You Never grew out of being gifted, grown-up gifted kids become gifted adults (This does NOT mean famous geniuses, don't worry, it means adults with a certain set of cognitive and sensitive particularities).
@Sophia Marsden I really like this comment, you are funny! Your foetus must be coming up 3 by now lol. I too started reading at age 2 and find this a fascinating subject. I have figured out that all it is is memorising the connection between a symbol and a sound and that there must be an intensity of interest there, but how is it that we can learn without instruction? All I can remember is having a magnetic letters board that I played with and being shown how to spell and write my unusual surname. Other than that, my parents neglected my education and I was not sent to nursery school but was able to read and write fluently by the time I started main schooling at age 4.
By all means, go for the homeschooling. My good friend was homeschooled and though his parents had a few thousand books around their home, he admitted that he had read them all and many several times. I just hope you have some good libraries nearby to supplement their ferocious appetite to learn. He was living in a third world country so it was hard for his parents to bring in resources. Very cool guy, I wish he lived closer now.
Gifted people are wired differently , and have different needs. This is something that the education system needs to recognize , there are people that could understand profound things when everything is well explained. When a very complex or foundamental idea is poorly explained , as these questions add up with the pressure , this will kill any talent from that child. It also creates a problem for children to spending extra time on doing researches on their own , and if they failed to find the reasoning behind , this might block the understanding for them. For me , gifted or not , I am kind of a sad case , if only I could travel back in time and teach myself about the question I raise , I believe my life would have been so different. Also , I would have told myself to skip the necessary years of pointless education and jump right to the examinations , and really start to learn something interesting indepth earlier. Having figured out the concept of algebra when I was 10 , I failed to understand the algebra on the text book. It sounds quite ironic actually , and I remember asking what's the point of learning the x and y and the graph. All I see it's just a set of questions and find the answers , but I don't understand why do we even need such a concept in the first place. Of course I didn't get my answer anyway , and the teacher probably thought I was a little dim for asking all these seemingly common sense question I guess. For almost every subject , I have questions and just brick my thinking back then. But , I am glad that years later , there are things that I pointed out to be wrong in the textbook are actually wrong. But I never really suceed through my education , so I really don't know actually. My parent say that I am actually when I was smarter younger and got dimmer as I age. Is it normal for a 5 years old kid to ask : " how could I be sure that the things I see are exactly like what you see" , this sort of questions. Deep down , I felt I have a talent to understand things , but in reality is it consider gifted , I really am not sure.
Super interesting history, really brave women. I think we would understand this group of children as high masking autism/ ADHD now. There is no way these ladies could have known that then. The observations they made are bang on. In the UK the gifted in terms of products agenda was never taken down and in the end the whole idea of gifted programs went.
Should we let gifted children be true to themselves and stand out? Or teach them to adapt and conform to their peers? I really want to know what would be the best for the wellbeing of these children
Never teach them to adapt. Never tell them to conform. The more you try to conform, the more you make yourself vulnerable. Conformity is autodestriction. Teach them to conform the world to their needs. Don't let them Believe their quirks are wrong, and never let them forget they are signs of giftedness before being quirks. If you can let them be in gifted or mostly-gifted classrooms. Innnnnn've been in a 60%-gifted Classroom since last year and it is a relief, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn oasis.
(the extra Ns are due to my computer bugging). Finally I can actually talk to other people. And discover they really are like me. Finally I am no longer told "nobody cares/gives a *****" every time i open my mouth because I have non-mainstream interests. Also I'd say kids who are trying to hide their différences are more at risk of bullying than ones who are super-proud of being "weird". The myths about bullying stand on the polar opposite of truth. Bullies always hit on what you're ashamed of, and bullying Never makes anyone stronger. Also it gives bullied kids illusions on life (they believe everyone hates them and they are the only one like them which Is very wrong). The exact opposite of what the commonplace ideas say, really. Let gifted kids be themselves, and NEVER tell them to hide anything.
Marie by the way getting hated for opening my mouth and sharing uncommon interests happened to me way too much during Middle school. In Any case, don't ever forget that if Tell you that you're annoying/uninteresting and that nobody cares, this is simply not true. Some people do care and don't dare to say it. And don't let yourself silenced by the majority like I once did.
@@wordart_guian I teach my children to be true to themselves, but to also be aware of others' reactions, including jealousy (and trust me, parents can be even worse - and observed by children). But if there is no way to keep quiet, keep true to yourself.
When I was in kindergarten, I could read pretty well. One book I really enjoyed (because it was the only book I could find around my house since my parents weren’t American) was Diary of a wimpy kid. Even at that age I realized people don’t want others to talk about how they did a thing, they see it as bragging. When someone asked if I could read, I would say I could read, even long books like diary of a wimpy kid! They would always say, “really?” Or something that sounded like “can you though?” Mostly adults, since kid really aren’t thinking about that that young. Knowing this, when my 6th grade buddie asked what my favorite book was during the first ‘buddie system’ day, I said a basic kids book that I recently listened to. I don’t really know why that was stuck in my mind, but it sort of described my entire elementary years when I was worried I’d come off as arrogant and downplayed achievements. I held the impression I didn’t believe in myself, so everyone else did too.
My daughter's pediatrician stated that she was gifted at around a month or two old. Why? Because when she was doing her exam on her my daughter was tracking her and every move she made. My daughter was also observing the room and the people that were talking. The Doctor said that she only comes across babies like that very rarely. Fast-forward 9 years and my daughter was tested into a self-contained gifted program and had an estimated 140+ IQ. However, I guess she's not typical because she is not a perfectionist, has a normal EQ, and embraces change and socializes with her peers fine.
Had IQ tests without knowing I was gifted, quite convinced I couldn't make it, and off course I couldn't. Had one this week, giving it proper attention, and it felt like I could FEEL the answers if I'd give up using logics. Don't know the results yet, it was a paid test, but the experience was totally different 😂
My whole life, everyone including my family always told me that im weird. However my psychiatrist was the only person who told me that i have very high intelligence. He told me in the first day like its very impressive.
You definitely have the choice of whether or not to engage with a thought. I mean sure a thought process will proceed from a thought whether or not you engage with it now or later but you have the choice of stopping when you want. It can be either meditation or a diversion. Nothing wrong with taking a mental break. In fact my confusion simply demands it.
I wish this was known 40 years ago. Actually, I just wish people knew it today. I was in the Gifted program and SLD at the same time. Vulnerability is something no one seems to understand.
i was labeled OCD ODD bipolar and depressed for enforcing human rights humanitarian criminal refugee law aspergers for studying geography healing from psychology
Is there a guide or self help for gifted adults? Life is hard. It’s so painful and purpose less. I’m desperate to be understood and not have to minimize the importance of what I feel and think. I’m afraid to talk my mind. People say hurtful things. How can I help myself?
Be hyper-proud of your différences, Name them when You get picked on (the scientifical Names, it's harder to mock a différence with a name other than "weird", "nerd" or "freak"), and if they still manage to be hurtful, remember they technically are dumber than You. It light Sound pretentious but it really is a good way to cope. (these are simply my views, and I'm not an adult yet so I can't judge well)
If anyone understands French, the books of Carlos Tinoco are a treasure chest. He posits that it is not the gifted who are "more" than the normies, but the normies are inhibiting their full potential/capabilities. PS a few of his videos on his channel "demonstrer" are fan-subbed in English. PLEASE WATCH!
This is a completely honest response, no joke, offense or sarcasm intended.. But i was a gifted child with much of these same problems and the only thing that has helped me as an adult is Jesus Christ
I just found out I’m gifted 🤗 why tf did no one tell me since childhood. Sense of humor we do have I was always the class clown. Yes we rebel when around inauthentic people that’s why I rebellious as a teen because I knew she was fake and she still is. I think my daughter Savannah‘s gift it as well because the example you gave about the six year old boy not liking being talking down to is exactly how my Savannah behaves and her verbiage is just advanced that’s why I speak to her like an adult I don’t treat her like a little kid because I can tell she’s a smart girl.
I think re: "easy" vs "hard"... personally, I don't like directions because I want to figure it out MYSELF. That's not as easy as just reading directions, but it's WAY more fun. The hard part is learning to follow directions, which is just incredibly boring.
I like the definition of asynchronous, it has a lot of meaning for me & I can see it in my kids. The issue is - "special needs" resources are reserved for the lower IQ, academically underachieving individuals. I have the diagnoses Autism & ADHD, but I'm almost certain, it's just asynchrony. My working memory cannot keep up with the rest of it. It's hard to hold my attention just with a position of authority (teacher etc). It definitely required different parenting & education but I only discovered these things in adulthood, probably triggered by the desire to support my kids. Being labelled as different (whichever learning difference), is hard in itself. I still feel alien, although the company is very welcome.
Also giftedness as a word can often been seen as ranking, or a superiority complex. I've met clearly gifted people who criticised me for seeking a label/being tested. It's simply more information & self-awareness I'm seeking not a status. I still have difficulties in life.
"Not potential... Develop... Nurture... Nurture potential" this was like the 4th thing in the first 6 minutes that made it impossible for me to endure this video any further.
As a gifted person, ill say that as a child. The most difficult part of life, was being treated like i was an average child. Even despite testing and actual knowledge otherwise. As an adult, its nearly impossible to find peers, outside of the internet. The difficulty is a culture of achievement. For myself, what am i slaving for? I wasnt born to work, but to learn, observe, and understand that im here to smell the roses, and contemplate mystery. Without societal acceptance, and aide, the grand designs wont come to fruition due to opposition, so achievement isnt my motivation. It can be very lonely, and it can lead to mental illnesses. You can see examples of this in men like tesla, oppenheimer, and einstein. Try to image, being charlton heston living on the planet of the apes.
@francois marion. That loneliness is so hard to bear. And it is expressed so often among those who are gifted. I don’t think I’m gifted, but I do know loneliness. I wonder if there might be a Facebook group designed for those who are so intellectually gifted? If not, why not start one? It might prove to be an interesting experiment, at the very least. All the very best, 🙌
"Gifted" - no, it's not a gift at all. It's a separation from everyone else just like having an IQ under 70 except with the pressure to perform better than everyone else. I agree with most of your points, relate to some of them and understand the others. However, I realized a long long time ago that only I can hold myself to certain standards and since very few else seem to hold themselves to those standards, why should I? Basically, I've learned that being "gifted" means stress so I've chosen to opt out. I meet my expectations of myself and if that isn't good enough - oh well.
It’s almost a disability to be extremely gifted. I scored in 99 percentile in third grade. Two to three grades advanced, but there I was stuck in a class with a teacher who liked to pick on my penmanship. Later, the IQ test showed 145. Ironically, I was in principal’s office for setting a trash can accidentally on fire. (Lit a match and got caught and subtly dropped it) I had to pry the test score out of him. The best that I could do in school was get all the necessary credits and then take study halls in excess to read what I wanted to read. I did drugs. I skipped school but never got caught. When I had a son, he was gifted and skipped a grade. Now he has three kids. I crack sophisticated jokes with my two yr old grandtwins and they get the jokes. That sparkle is twinkling away in their eyes. I only hope they get out of standard classrooms because it is hard to find academic peers and deal with less than gifted authority figures. These kids have a gift and they’ll likely be seen as dangerous. Luckily, I worked through my pyromania and drug use and at 61, appreciate my abstract agenda. I just want the best for my progeny.
I can't imagine that a gifted child would use the argument of fairness (unless they're just manipulating you) just to get what they want. Usually they are indignant because something is objectively unfair - often to someone other than themselves.
I was gifted!!!! I painted and even my teacher thought my dad painted it haha I was 14 and played piano beethoven when I was 12 and I knew everything about the universe when I was 10 so I wasn't bad but now I can't do it anymore 😭😭😭 so used to be gifted 100% when I was 5 I thought how does it work that people start to write their language? How is it possible? I know how to speak but how to write it? How if it even possible for the brains to make it happen?? I think i was the only one thinking that 😂 but luckily I can write so it worked haha
So sad how many parents proclaim their children's giftedness only to set them up for disappointment. Statistics say that about 1/2 of the parents of gifted children are wrong in their assumptions. Meeting a child at the limit of their capability is all that matters. Do that, and the rest will fall into place. I just feel like keeping your appraisal to yourself is the best way to deal with children.
Somehow I get the feeling that what is expressed here is not giftedness. Not really. Which goes along with my observation that those who concern themselves most with other people’s intelligence tend to not be the brightest people. It reminds me of a seminar I once attended where the speaker insisted that children with learning difficulties were somehow more intelligent than children without learning difficulties.
Gifted people have trouble finding other individuals who they can have a level of conversation that is interesting. You always end up teaching everybody you encounter.
I had a fun time working at Johnson Space Center, which was about 25 years ago for 10 years. It was fantastic. I was in my mid 40s, working with 20 something yr olds, teaching them how to write lesson plans and teach astronauts and flight controllers. As I explained to them: they knew the technical info while I knew how to get that info from their minds into someone else's mind. I could talk to them about anything! Even as a member of MENSA myself, some of my instructors were truly gifted compared to me. One young lady had just graduated with her aerospace engineering degree at the age of 20. It was actually refreshing not to be the smartest person in the room.
YES YES YES!
The desire to SHOW, TEACH, or share something I find interesting is EVER-PRESENT.
It can occur at any moment with any stranger.
I often have to hold back.
Learning never ceases
for me.
It is always more, more, more, add, add, add, and connect it to something I already know.
very well put, I restrain myself
That's just too arrogant to learn from others. If you are truly intelligent and have some wisdom, you would realise that everybody has something interesting to share and something you can learn from.
Look who's teaching 🙃@@dadt8009
This is the first time I have heard someone acknowledge the reaction to "inauthentic" people. I have had this my whole life. I'm blown away.
Same. And a passion for justice. All my life.
What did she say? I think I missed it.
Its so hard, to be a small child, suffering of the injustice of teachers, not capable to understand themselves, while you already realize it.
Yes...
Or, many years in the past, to realise that the teacher is just more stupid than you are, but that you are at school for yourself, not the teacher and that arguing with the teacher will just bring trouble.
@@PauldeVrieze Being at school for yourself??? Hardly!! It's imposed on the child!!
Homeschool
@@PauldeVrieze I always knew about it from the age of 7, but what can you do about it? You can't open a bank account and start business on your own. Any ideas will be suppressed by the parents. All little cash you have will be locked and everything you saved will be taken away. There is no where to run, the police will find you and what's the point of running to no where. Just you wait till 18 all your childhood counting days. That's how you live during your school years. Later it takes approximately the same time to recover. I could say I almost recovered at the age of 35, but still need few months.
The validation... My whole life I thought I was the only and the weirdest... Never thought I would cry so many times listening to t h i s video! I only started to understand my child better.
Its hard to feel different than the majority
Girl, yes!
As I listen to this women speak, I am imagining the level of composure she must have to give this talk. I find it admirable. I feel like I should be able to do this. I wonder how that would feel.
I've written your lecture and translated it all to Arabic because it's very rich and useful, thank you 💕
I’m wondering if you have a link or PDF for the Arabic version?
ارجو ارسالها اسعدك الله
Thank you I am literally in tears confirming so many things about my own giftedness and my son's. I always see myself as an average person. Now, I have a gifted child, he manifest so many characteristics that are discussed here. So grateful to get a free seminar on this topic. Salute to you madam.
I am with you... I was raised by parents who were not equipped for raising a gifted child, and so much of this made me tear up over and over. All the flashbacks of not understanding certain social cues and being told "You're too sensitive.", and "You are so smart, but you have no common sense.", and it was like I was just constantly in trouble, disappointing, and letting someone down just for being myself. I also have a very gifted child now, and while I have done better than my own parents, I feel better equipped to raise her now. I feel every parent that people say "She/He is sooo smart." should watch this to understand there is a community out there that understands them.
Another sign is being easily overstimulated. They're so aware and in tune with everything,nosie,motions,feelings etc that they become overwhelmed and frustrated easier then other people/children. It may seem like bad behavior,but if you pay attention to the surroundings/stimulants around when it happens often times there's a pattern.
Sounds more like autism than anything else.. . I wonder how many people are not diagnosed in this world and how high the prevalence truly is.
Well .... one could also say that because when we are understimulated our brain still goes looking for stimuli, and thén all the attention goes to what we also perceive, what would usually become secondary when there is enough to keep us ocupied with challenging , interesting stuff.
That being said , we still need to learn how to handle all thw "too much" shit and understand it is "too much " for someone else. We only need to learn how to unwind, like any other person in the world. But not according to mediocre standards, that makes it more challenging: we have to find our own personal standards to unwind properly.
I am a gifted teen (13) and when I saw how long this video was I immediately decided not to watch it, but then I decided to anyway because I’ve got nothing better to do. This was so amazing to watch. Hearing all of my life experiences suddenly be aligned. To speak a bit on my experience in relation to this video, I am always told I talk to much, and I always have. I’ve always been very aware. My handwriting has always been horrible. One time I was at the doctor (or dentist idk I’m telling this based off of what I was told by my parents) and he started talking to me in baby talk (I was 2) and I apparently said “I don’t think your even a real doctor”. I never knew so many of my experiences were due to gifted ness. This really opened my eyes.
Read Ayn Rand's "Los Camprachicos"
you might also would like to look into autism spectrum, bc tbh i see no difference in what's lecture is about and ASD. its sometimes understood more like neurotype, than disorder, depending on a level of support person needs. so naturally people with little or no support needs would be not considered having "disorder", but still could have neurotype.
Born in 1968 U.K. I started main school at age 4 and could already read and write fluently. I was amazed the other children couldn’t write their names or read 3 and 4 letter words, and having no social skills, was outspoken about it! I read through the entire book curriculum in a couple of weeks and they didn’t know what to do with me, so they put me into the next year class where I was treated with contempt. Soon I became known as ‘the naughtiest girl in the school’ and was in trouble so often for things I hadn’t even done. I wish there had been at least one basically intelligent and caring adult around me at the time, but it ended up being punishment all the way.
I was lucky. I just skated through the system. Slow paced drag and mindnumbing repetition. Effortless boring drag. Read books in class a lot. Skipped a lot in high school and junior high. Always passed. Knew how to read before I went to school.
I appreciated this video so much because it described my oldest son to a ‘T.’ He really was amazing even from birth. He recognized both me and my husband as his parents as soon as he was born and made a joyful sound in looking at each one of us individually straight in our eyes. He could clearly see. When he cried, it caused everyone around him to run to him because it was so beautifully sad, not annoying at all, almost like a sweet low mew. It was as though he knew early on how to get what he needed when he needed it right away. People would cry when he cried. No joke.
He slept through the night at about the first week. I had to wake him up to feed him. It hurt me not to. He was rolling over at about week three. He was speaking at the age of about a month and a half to three months saying things like “peekaboo” and “ma” and “da” and “yes” and “no.” He was sitting up on his own at about two to three months. He was crawling by about four months if memory serves. He was full on walking by seven months, along with speaking full sentences though with a bit of a baby slur. He could say his ABC’s and count and know all of his colors and tie his shoes and get dressed and put on his jacket by about age two. He was always exceptionally gifted in math and music. He wrote his first song when he was 14 and plays almost any instrument set before him, and sings near pitch perfect and hears and sings perfectly any harmony anyone wants him to play or sing. And he’s a gaming genius.
He was super sensitive but always behaved maturely about it, crying silently by himself about things. I had to catch him and develop empathic-type skills so that I could catch him in order for him not to be alone in his grief. He always had to be around adults, even as a young child. He always charmed them. They loved him. He was exceptionally beautiful, too. But he found children silly to be around. Um…yeah. He bluntly thought they were too dumb to have to be around. His one fault. Hahahaha! He was ALWAYS an adult and so couldn’t understand why little people had to behave like ‘idiots.’ Seriously. I had to remind him often just to be a child and let me and my husband be the parents and the other children be kids because he was forever trying to parent the children. Again, he thought they were ridiculous.
However, there was the time he was not an adult, and he and his younger brother found a way to get at the chef knives my husband had bound up way above the refrigerator in the cabinet in order to keep them out of sight and out of reach of those perceptively beautiful big blue eyes. But he developed a plan in a matter of minutes to get at them by having his little brother climb onto a drawer he had opened and then to the next and then to climb on the counter and then to walk across it and then shimmy up the fridge to get at the cabinet and get the knives out. He had his brother do it so that he and his brother could play swords together with them all while I took a momentary break from the little geniuses because I had to use the restroom. He was two. His brother was one. That was hard. What would you have done? I no longer went to the bathroom alone after that, or I left the door open.
Oh yes, and also he wasn’t an adult the two times they both just had to get at the vitamins and the children’s Tylenol because they were yummy to them but then had to be given medicine in order to throw it up by the EMTs. Again, that was hard. I quickly had to figure out how not to leave them alone even when they would sneak and get up before me in the morning and during naps. He hated naps. He thought they were stupid and a big waste of time. I loved them. That was a struggle. They exhausted me…
Besides those incidents when he was two and three, rarely did he get into trouble. And when he did, it seemed to break his heart because he was a perfectionist about just being good. He was one of those kinds of children that all you had to do was shoot him a look or give him a short explanation as to why something was wrong to do in order to have him never do a thing again that you didn’t want him to do. That’s why he couldn’t understand what he saw as the craziness of children. He just couldn’t even remotely begin to understand them.
He felt insulted when adults would play games without him because they thought he wouldn’t be able to understand the games at age five and six, him feeling as though he had been rejected by his peers. Seriously, he still tells it like that and still feels hurt about it. I often had to promise to do those things with him, like play grownup card games with him, when we went home in order for him not to go silently cry off in a bedroom somewhere alone while all the other children were running madly throughout the house just having a blast.
Moreover, he won spelling contests and math contests, often aggravating teachers because they couldn’t find a word he couldn’t spell. I have it on video. He was one of those children who never did homework yet aced all his classes until high school. It aggravated his younger brother to no end who had ADD yet also had a very high IQ. My oldest son could have skipped some grades but wanted to stay with his class. Some of them ‘got him’ I think is why, or it could have been the whole herd mentality thing. I dunno. But he hated all of the repetition in learning. He’d complain a lot about it. Still, he ended up graduating a year early with no effort at all and could have graduated two years early but wanted to graduate with those who were at least about his age. He hated college because he found the professors immoral and illogical and prejudice against Christians. So he quit. The American system missed out on a huge opportunity, a wealth of intelligence, when it let him go because of its purposeful neglect and incompetence.
To sum it all up, I was a VERY young mother, having grown up very quickly; and I had no idea how exceptional both of them were. I thought their achievements and advancements were normal because apparently I was much like they were when I was young. And to put to rest any fears that I pushed them or trained them to advance quickly, no, I did not. Again, I was young and had no idea what I was doing. They did it all on their own with the gifts Jesus gave them. Come to find out my oldest son had an IQ of ~148 (or was it 142?, oh well, he knows my little encyclopedia) if memory serves, and my youngest had an IQ of 132. When they are your own children and you have no way of gauging them against others and when instructors and the school system are inept and don’t recognize giftedness and do not promote it but instead try to stifle it because of ego, conceit, and politics, what can you do as a young parent?
Again, it’s hard raising children who are way smarter than you are and your resources are lacking in supporting their gifts. But what a great ride it was! The fun those two brought to me can never be measured. Knowing that educators like the lady in this video are now reaching out to these types of children and are recognizing them as a great potential resource not to be neglected or punished for their gifts is quite a comfort to me for future generations. I do hope it catches on like wildfire. Thank you for sharing the video with us.
What are your sons doing now?
@@danitapowell2291 ++++
That was a nice read.
Screw those professors.
Clearly written by a gifted person too. So smooth and easy to read.
This is the most in depth description of giftedness I have come across. Thank you for your hard work.
She made me laugh so many times. She mentioned the vulnerability, now I am crying. Thank you!!!!
I feel seen for the first time in this domain. Incredible! A lot of things have sense now.
You have grasped the core of giftedness. I have had the pleasure to seek Jean Charles Terrassier's advice in Nice, France.
I was abused at a young age, and my father was completely absent, I had advanced justifications and analysis of these traumas. At maybe 6 years, I told myself my father, who I knew was an immigrant would have raised me more traditional, so I decided to appreciate his absence. I was labeled G.T. in kinder, never felt worthy of the label. I've heard I'm the smartest dumb person so many times in my life. I also physically matured at age 15, and experienced disynchrony from being treated differently by the opposite sex, not necessarily inappropriate, but a heightened realization I was viewed differently. This was nice to hear...having had the label, I've always wanted affirmation I deserved it.
1:16 "Giftedness" and "retardation" are two sides of the same coin
2:37 "Gifted" people are accused of making things too complicated, taking things too seriously,
making everything important, and are "too much"
3:25 The "gifted" are "too sensitive, intense, driven, honest, idealistic, moral, perfectionistic"
11:25 "Gifted" are inquisitive, they ask more questions, more profound questions
13:51 "Gifted" have superb memory
13:58 The essence of "giftedness" is abstract reasoning
14:56 "Gifted" love to learn
16:27 Another quintessential aspect of "giftedness" is preference for complexity
20:07 "Gifted" experience life with great zest and intensity
23:13 "Giftedness" is asynchronous development in which advanced cognitive abilities
and heightened intensity combine to create inner experiences and awareness
that are qualitatively different from the norm
24:41 Heightened intensity - Dabrowski theory
26:14 We should help the "gifted" not because of their potential, but because of their vulnerability
26:32 They require modifications in parenting, teaching, and counseling
28:31 Internal asynchrony - faster development in some areas (physical, intellectual, emotional, or social)
34:05 External asynchrony - lack of fit with peers/society
45:58 Stanford-Binet LM
46:37 99th percentile on Wechsler scale
47:42 "Gifted"--->Highly "Gifted"--->Exceptionally "Gifted"--->Profoundly "Gifted"--->Terrifyingly (You-Got-to-Be-Kidding) "Gifted"
50:58 2 standard deviations above intelligence norm: special education is needed
59:32 The "gifted" not only think differently -- they feel differently
59:54 "Gifted" have a mind that never turns off
1:00:21 It's difficult to find similar people
1:00:40 A creative mind continuously comes up with things to do
1:01:36 You know you'll do it better than anyone else you know
1:02:01 Standards you set for yourself makes people call you OCD and perfectionist
1:02:17 What you do, you put 150% of yourself into it
1:02:40 "Gifted" people always work hard
1:03:15 Other aspects of being "gifted" :
idealistic, self-doubt, perceptive, sensitive, moral imperative, desperate need for understanding/acceptance/love
1:04:28 When you're in the 98th and 99th percentile, it's hard to find anyone who gets you
1:05:54 "Gifted" don't like limits
1:05:50 "Gifted" = intensity
1:07:51 The cognitive and personality traits that comprise "giftedness" are disadvantages
in a society in which those differences are not valued
1:08:33 Believe in them, so they can believe in themselves
This woman is very sharp! Comprehensively on target. Exemplary insight!
Asynchrony and intensity... Very interesting lecture, well performed, with great insight and compassion regarding a much neglected fraction of the population.
Thank you, this was a fascinating talk. I felt very seen, regarding the infinite to-do list! I struggle a lot with trying to manage all the ideas that fill my mind all the time, and it's one reason I would happily accept an unlimited life span if it were possible. I've never understood people who say "I don't want to live for ever, it would get boring." One of my earliest school memories (I was about 6) is of having to be given the next set of books to read because I'd already finished the current reading books well ahead of everyone else. In the same class, I would sometimes deliberately be naughty so that I would get put outside in the corridor to work. I did this because I was fed up with the noise from the other kids and I wanted quiet. Two different stories with rather contrasting implications: I was mentally advanced, but I wasn't always happy with my social interactions. I loved the world as a child, but I sometimes had a rough ride too.
My parents always pushed my giftedness aside except for when they use it as a reason for my anxiety. I’m showing them this video in the morning so hopefully the understand what is constantly going through my brain. I didn’t even know most of the things talked about in the video wasn’t normal. I thought I was one of the less gifted gifted kids but now I feel a bit more included. This video just makes me feel so much less alone
I never knew how different I think actually affects so much of my life
Hi there Jennifer I thought you might benefit from some things I have learnt along the way - as someone who was never told about their gift as a child. From my experience I can suggest training yourself in Emotional Intelligence. Those tools are exceptionally useful to help you navigate this gifted lifetime :) Also: Turn your focus IN rather than outward and you will see your mindset, life and happiness start to shift almost instantaneously. This looks like practicing self-love, meditation and practices like yoga or conscious movement, and start placing your self-worth not in the opinion of others but rather of yourself. Working with a coach can help with this or even just cracking open a few personal development books. Enjoy the fullness of this life and experience the deliciousness in the intensity in every moment and emotion rather than fearing it! 😍 In terms of finding your life path, good career choices for the gifted and talented include fulfilling your life purpose or Dharma (what you were brought here on earth to do which only YOU can do and which also helps out humanity), working creatively or if not, having a creative outlet in your daily life is KEY for that mental balance. Enjoy, feel, experience and LOVE it all ♥️
I'm guessing it didn't go well. It usually doesn't, since they've known it subconciously sincd you were a kid and they did choose to not accept it. In many or most cases, as gifted adults report.
Same. No one understands what I go through and how my brain works. I’m in 8th grade and been in gifted since 6th because my elementary school didn’t have the program. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t as good as the other kids in the program. The only thing that makes me feel good about myself, is getting good grades. They give me my validation. Last year I got really close to the other 2 girls in my gifted class and I’m SO glad I did. My other friends didn’t understand what I was (and am) going through, but those girls relate to me and I relate to them. There’s lots of things I also found in this video that I thought were normal but turns out they aren’t
If you are gifted, it's somewhat likely that your parent(s) are too.... So they may understand more than you know... And may not have been given coping tools either.
@@hamburgerbrain I do not disagree with you but would like to point out it is not always the case. Maybe it is that more is known and respected about this today, but certainly in the past it was less so. My family were not very well educated and were very old fashioned (parents born in late 1920’s, I was born in 1968) and I have since discovered that they did not see the point in education of girls. My precociousness was a reason for punishment and humiliation. It was as if they resented the fact that I was the intelligent/talented one and not my younger brother and they invested in him rather than me, pushing him into business (non academic, he left school at 14) that he could not handle and I believe was part of what turned him to alcoholism and his early death 2 years ago.
An intelligent being loves to simplify complex concepts, to achieve a holistic sense of being.
At the same time, he appreciates n marvels at all the nuances within the concept as well.
That itself is the NUANCES that actually makes SENSE and not NONSENSE.
Miyamoto Musashi said it best: "He who knows the way broadly, sees it in all things".
OMG, I can actually be understood. I'm learning more about myself. Thank you for your work and sharing this!
That difference between motor and mental capacity kills me! I can feel how to sing, where I should project my air flow, how my body should bend to give me the air support... everything, but my body won't allow me to get there and practicing, studying anything consciously gets me SO overwhelmed! The best time of my life was when I had this friend who'd help me focus and do stuff. Losing her was as painful as losing an arm. Understanding that 18 years later is a relief!
Great talk! I disagree with just 1 thing: I don't necessarily look for more complicated solution to problems, I simply look for more general solutions. Solutions, which apply to a wider variety of cases and have less exceptions, but not just solve the immediate problems in a specific case. Complexity is not to seek for its own sake, but general solutions are what it's all about.
Rather that one will see many perspectives when looking to solve a problem. Some see a closed box.and look for a kid early the top or bottom. Others will imagine 100 forms of entry all unique into that box. Likely the most "efficient" method aswell.
A genius admires simplicity, an idiot admires complexity.
An intelligent being loves to simplify complex concepts, to achieve a holistic sense of being.
At the same time, he appreciates n marvels at all the nuances within the concept as well.
Complexity is a relative idea , a person who seek truth will go through a series of questioning , a person who pick what is told to be correct will just repeat. Most of the time , even simple things in life have a depth of complexity , it's just that we normally will not think about it. It is just like most people think they know what is gravity , but in reality even Einstein is seeking to uncover its true form. Or put it the other way around , most people is oblivious to things around them , it seems like "so what" , but great minds are fascinated by the little things in life and made great discovery. WIthout understanding the complexity it holds , a person will never be able to really appreciate the beauty of its simplest purest form. It is very easy to say E=mc^2 , but understanding it is a very complex matter.
@@realdomdom you know from experience?
I just finished your book and wow! My entire childhood, marriage and children finally made sense. Wish I had known earlier. Thank goodness things have come so far.
I'm just blown away. She describes both myself and my eldest daughter. Even taking into account my case, which at 7 years old was 135 IQ and low vision. They were experimenting with gifted programs in the 1980's and I took part in one of these in elementary school. For my daughter, they no longer have such things. I think gifted programs could be a benefit, they just didn't provide the benefit they were hoping for, as they didn't fully account for increased "asynchrony" possible with a gifted kid's mental, emotional, and physical development. They did not know how to explain the science of "not fitting in".
If only our education system were as scientific as Linda Silverman is. My goodness, my youngest kid once was struggling in third grade math, and as her dad, -I- had to prepare and administer a diagnostic test because the "professional educators" didn't do it. and at the parent teacher conference I had to tell them which skill was missing so they could help her. This still boggles my mind. Are American teachers not taught any troubleshooting whatsoever?
Im a gifted person. My favorite thing growing up was taking psychedelics. LSD for its harshly analytical. The insights and incredibly complex profound abstractions. The way the letter A connects to the number 3. Incredibly satisfying for me..
I remember feeling so different from everyone else. It was a very isolating experience. I often wondered if there was something wrong with me & felt so misunderstood! Even though both parents had similar IQ's, they often didn't 'get' me.
At about age five, I told my mother I could see the baby she was pregnant with & that it was "black." She hadn't felt the baby move at all that day & I freaked her out. The baby was stillborn & was black & blue from lack of oxygen.
We were Lutherans & taught that a certain area at the front of the church was off limits bc God was there. At six, I reasoned that if God loved me, He would want me close to Him & while my mom was preparing the bulletin for Sunday's svc, walked around in that area quite deliberately. At age 14, I was "spiritually reborn." 😮
Yes, I was a talker! At 3 I could recite my parents' names, our phone number & address. I remember my mother accusing me of having logorrhea, i.e. diarrhea of the mouth. 😂 And in high school, she & I constantly went back & forth with puns. I started school at 4, due to the cut off date being end of the year at the time, I was born in November.
How I wish my parents & even a few of my teachers had had this kind of information!
This is wonderful support for homeschooling your gifted learner. An education that is tailored to individual strengths and weaknesses is such a blessing.
I'm Asperger's 2e, Linda is a very good speaker.
I am so grateful to discover this video and the work of Linda Silverman. Thank you for posting!
This video need reach many more people across the globe. Dr. Silverman has answered many questions I had on my mind unanswered for a long time. Thanks a ton for sharing this video!
Thank you for this very comprehensive and insightful lecture. God may have led me to this site so I could better understand why i feel, think, and behave in ways a lot different from other people. While I wish I had stumbled upon this earlier in my life, I am thankful because I still have some time left to nurture that gift and believe again in myself.
It’s remarkable that 100% of this comments section is gifted 😮
Haha so true
Hahah true.. My son is gifted that why I watch this video.. But reading all the long coment I'm just thinking all of them are gifted 😁
😂😂
Biased sample
According to this lady apparently everybody is gifted
This is 100% accurate. One of the better assessments of what it is to be gifted that I’ve heard in a long time.
Such an amazing speech! All my life people have told me that I'm too much of this or too much of that. I could never understand why they would hurt me by saying these cruel things about me. And these accusations hurt me so deeply. I always suspected that they only said these things because they were jealous, but I could never put my finger on what enraged their petty envy. After watching this video I now know it's because I'm gifted. Thank you so much for opening my eyes to what is special about me and affirming that my giftedness needs to be honored. The next time someone tells me I'm too selfish, too callous, or too manipulative, I will remind them that my differences need to be respected and that I need to be nurtured. Thank you!
What if you’re actually just a dick tho
Wow. I wonder if anyone knows what records might be available for review if one was identified as gifted in the 1960s? In California my parents received a letter form the school that I was eligible for the Mentally Gifted Minor program. I had great academic difficulty, and at 64 would love any information which could help me and a therapist delve into how best to heal my depression and anxiety issues.
I was noted as "highly" gifted and never really thought about how much I would like my inner child to know that I am okay not living up to others idea of potential. Somehow ordinary was a source of shame. I am happy now with my set of values and how I treat others, but still the yearning to leave a distinct mark grows more poignant as I enter the autumn of life. Anyway, I am so very grateful to Dr. Silveman for a talk which resonates on so many levels and gives me hope that I can examine my past and find peace.
This is wonderfully insightful. Much appreciated, by this very asynchronous adult.
This has been the first presentation that has accurately protrayed my experiences, internal and external, eloquently. I'm in my early 40s now, and from my childhood to today, this presentation illustrates the experience clearly. I will be picking up your book (mentioned elsewhere in the comments), to go through. Thanks for analyzing this (us), and presenting the clear picture. May this lead to greater understanding. Cheers.
thank you so much
Thank you for your studies, communication and compassion
Dear LORD WHERE WE YOU IN MY GIFTED HALF ASIAN DOCTOR KID CHIDLHOOD!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!! say more please do more of this.
I remember when at age 13 I had an oral test for which I studied from an university lecture and remember getting a 90% and my effort going unnoticed. High school became a struggle to make others notice me but since there is not a gifted program in my country, I studied from uni lectures in high school and now I am bored af in uni and feel lost for something challenging.
I like her perspective and treatment of the gifted. When I was 5, I asked my mom whether it was ok to not have children after I got married. The decision stuck till adulthood.
I was considered gifted as a child. I went from the English learner program in kindergarten to testing at college level I'm English the following year. I was leagues ahead of my peers. However being an undiagnosed adhd child I was told over and over that I was lazy although I never failed one test in my life I was held back from skipping grades due to my inability to do homework. Now as an adult I've had to learn to look back at my past and accept I was and even now could be gifted. I became an emt without studying, I finished a 3 month dialysis training in 1 week yet I constantly feel like im less than in all areas
Thank you so much for sharing this video!
Our gifted program was cancelled several years ago.
In central Illinois, my daughter was in the program throughout
Grade school . The average I Q. Was 140. These kids were a grade ahead of themselves.
I was in Alpha Tau (my district’s gifted program) in Central IL, about 25 years ago. I wish they hadn’t kept it to 4th-6th grade and followed us through junior high and high school to help us into adulthood.
Learned to read and a little bit to write by age 3, all by myself.
Bullied by parents and teachers all life long.
At 10 I would solve at first reading math tests that would be considered too hard to be solved at my age, I also would spontaneously try to understand advanced geometry since it was how my brain wanted to function on its own, so I solved school tests at 5th grade using theorems I hadn't studied yet, I just found them out on my own even if I was completely unable to "demonstrate" them (I knew nothing about advanced math, I was a young kid in Elementary school bullied by both parents and teachers because I had to stop acting weird).
At 12 scored 29/33 on a Cattell's Test, possibly an error (I only was able to demonstrate 27 of the 29 answers, the remaining 2 I likely guessed).
Had to finish High Schools on my own cause my parents didn't want for me to graduate.
Had to work 8 extremely underpaid jobs for 5 years in order to start Universty, excel, drop out mostly due to economical reasons, all while my parents would pay many many years of private instructions for my elder brother.
"Gifted" is just a disability.
This woman is exactly what I visualize when I think of a woman who works with gifted children.
I just wanted to echo what a few others have said. I was put in a gifted program at about 7.
Experienced dramatic shifts in my ability to harness that academically. All ‘A’s most of the time, barely graduated from high school. I work in a high skill industry, use advanced math and logic daily, never completed college.
I feel out of place and unfulfilled in work that doesn’t involve mental gymnastics and gravitate toward relationships with accomplished folks (PHd types).
Turns out I am twice exceptional. “Gifted” with ADHD. My daughter is the same.
I want so badly to find a way for her to find her way more gracefully than I did. When enrolled at a local “gifted” school she was surrounded by peers who (if they were twice exceptional) leaned toward autism. They had no resources to handle or even identify adhd! At the same time the curriculum seemed exploitative. It seemed so superficial and followed the “gifted” trope. Parents boasting about their kids’ IQ or trumpeting on about all of the extracurricular tutoring they dumped onto their children.
I just want my kid to find her people. To feel like her hyperfixations are super powers and not simply distractions.
Maybe if the perspective of “asynchronous learning” was embraced kids like her would have an easier time coping with their development.
It seems like being able to identify traits that make these kids unique would go a long way to helping them feel accepted and wanted, rather than lonely and complicated.
Hi, I know your comment here is 8 months old, but I was wondering without a degree what your occupation is? I wonder as my daughter is very smart and has been very bored through all the school years (grade 9 now), and I suspect she will be too anxious for university.
@@dawnromanzin2126I ended up becoming a 90s IT golden child. So now I trade between devops, infosec, and Sys administration for a bunch of different businesses.
I usually end up working entrepreneurial gigs. If you‘re good enough they‘re happy to have the help. And anyway it‘s like a litmus test. If they want to play games they‘ll pick bones about my official certifications. If not, we just get to work.
This conference is amazing! Thank you so much for posting it.
I just made the WAIS 3 test. I was diagnosed with ADHD 5 years ago. I’ve always struggled with school and work, I was always to practical and was not motivated by all the small talks of it.
The explanation makes much sense on high iq and I had some of the experiences described. I’m not normal. But on their point of view . I’m more than normal on mine
Like, wow! I wish this information was standard and available since the preschool stage for all the ignorant busy parents out there. It's never too late, I will give it my all now because it's useless feeling guilty.
My favorite word thrive! How can we create an environment where people can thrive. That would be wonderful!
I was placed in gifted programs after a psychiatric evaluation showed my IQ was in the 99th percentile for my peer group.
It hobbled my progress and i was not taught in a way that allowed me to learn from mistakes and ask questions. The expectations were too high for me to meet, and a gifted student shouldn't need any extra attention so I was labeled as lazy and not meeting my potential. The 90s were not a great time in education. Its still an embarrassment.
I'm 9th grade drop out with two college degrees and several learning disabilities. I did much better when I could verbalize and not feel ashamed to ask for help. As a younger person, the label "gifted" came with the shame of not knowing the answer to the questions I desperately wanted to ask.
You have also described both of my sons to the letter. They cannot tolerate injustice and will stand up and take the side of reason or empathy, whatever the situation dictates. They're incredibly insightful and I couldn't be more proud.
The difficulty with gifted programs in my country (we don't have them anymore) was that they got filled with people who achieved in the way schools liked. Good memory, good executive function people went to these programs. These young people were told they were like Einstein, then got very stressed out and kept up their top marks. The children who were really difficult thinkers might do very badly in school and never got near gifted programs.
Thank for posting this video its amazing conference truly helpful for a school teacher.
I was given a IQ test with a IEP in Middle School because I failed all my classes. I didn't like my class so I just quit working. Turns out I am gifted with emotional problems and math deficits. Every else straight As. Unfortunately after my family was not ideal, in fact I would say it was extremely harmful. I had a few stand out teachers most of them in literature and art.. People never felt lukewarm about me that is for sure.
I concur quirky but hyper aware. You try to avoid trite conversations/knowing what they're going to say and think. Especially since I was raised in the US at the age of 3. Now at my native country.
"Please do not talk down to me"
I absolutely loathed children's programming, groups, etc. because I constantly felt like I was being talked down to from the age of 6-7.
I feel so understood, listening to this video.
i wish i had someone tell me all this when i was a kid.
Too intense, too sensitive
This lady is very knowledgeable, very impressive!
Absolutely well described 👏
Fascinating so much learned hopeful this would be helpful for our boy.
When I was a kid I developed faster than other kids (in academic domains, not necessarily in social-emotional ones), now as an adult I have probably "grown out" of it. I think my kids will be the same (my first child is 1, second is a foetus) - my son (the born one) has so far been early with most of his milestones (not so much the fine motor although he's well within the range of normal for it) - I was one of those kids who learned to read at 2 with no instruction. I am planning to homeschool my kids if for no other reason (and I have many reasons) because I do not want them to learn the utter lack of discipline and work ethic I developed through always being able to coast through class without having to put in any effort (or even turn up to class once I was doing A Levels). I am going to make sure my kids know the importance of hard work and are not being compared to some arbitrary age based standard.
You Never grew out of being gifted, grown-up gifted kids become gifted adults (This does NOT mean famous geniuses, don't worry, it means adults with a certain set of cognitive and sensitive particularities).
@@wordart_guian exactly
@Sophia Marsden I really like this comment, you are funny! Your foetus must be coming up 3 by now lol. I too started reading at age 2 and find this a fascinating subject. I have figured out that all it is is memorising the connection between a symbol and a sound and that there must be an intensity of interest there, but how is it that we can learn without instruction? All I can remember is having a magnetic letters board that I played with and being shown how to spell and write my unusual surname. Other than that, my parents neglected my education and I was not sent to nursery school but was able to read and write fluently by the time I started main schooling at age 4.
By all means, go for the homeschooling. My good friend was homeschooled and though his parents had a few thousand books around their home, he admitted that he had read them all and many several times. I just hope you have some good libraries nearby to supplement their ferocious appetite to learn. He was living in a third world country so it was hard for his parents to bring in resources. Very cool guy, I wish he lived closer now.
Gifted people are wired differently , and have different needs. This is something that the education system needs to recognize , there are people that could understand profound things when everything is well explained. When a very complex or foundamental idea is poorly explained , as these questions add up with the pressure , this will kill any talent from that child. It also creates a problem for children to spending extra time on doing researches on their own , and if they failed to find the reasoning behind , this might block the understanding for them.
For me , gifted or not , I am kind of a sad case , if only I could travel back in time and teach myself about the question I raise , I believe my life would have been so different. Also , I would have told myself to skip the necessary years of pointless education and jump right to the examinations , and really start to learn something interesting indepth earlier.
Having figured out the concept of algebra when I was 10 , I failed to understand the algebra on the text book. It sounds quite ironic actually , and I remember asking what's the point of learning the x and y and the graph. All I see it's just a set of questions and find the answers , but I don't understand why do we even need such a concept in the first place. Of course I didn't get my answer anyway , and the teacher probably thought I was a little dim for asking all these seemingly common sense question I guess.
For almost every subject , I have questions and just brick my thinking back then. But , I am glad that years later , there are things that I pointed out to be wrong in the textbook are actually wrong. But I never really suceed through my education , so I really don't know actually. My parent say that I am actually when I was smarter younger and got dimmer as I age. Is it normal for a 5 years old kid to ask : " how could I be sure that the things I see are exactly like what you see" , this sort of questions.
Deep down , I felt I have a talent to understand things , but in reality is it consider gifted , I really am not sure.
Super interesting history, really brave women. I think we would understand this group of children as high masking autism/ ADHD now. There is no way these ladies could have known that then. The observations they made are bang on. In the UK the gifted in terms of products agenda was never taken down and in the end the whole idea of gifted programs went.
Should we let gifted children be true to themselves and stand out? Or teach them to adapt and conform to their peers? I really want to know what would be the best for the wellbeing of these children
Never teach them to adapt. Never tell them to conform. The more you try to conform, the more you make yourself vulnerable. Conformity is autodestriction. Teach them to conform the world to their needs. Don't let them Believe their quirks are wrong, and never let them forget they are signs of giftedness before being quirks. If you can let them be in gifted or mostly-gifted classrooms. Innnnnn've been in a 60%-gifted Classroom since last year and it is a relief, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn oasis.
(the extra Ns are due to my computer bugging).
Finally I can actually talk to other people. And discover they really are like me. Finally I am no longer told "nobody cares/gives a *****" every time i open my mouth because I have non-mainstream interests.
Also I'd say kids who are trying to hide their différences are more at risk of bullying than ones who are super-proud of being "weird".
The myths about bullying stand on the polar opposite of truth. Bullies always hit on what you're ashamed of, and bullying Never makes anyone stronger. Also it gives bullied kids illusions on life (they believe everyone hates them and they are the only one like them which Is very wrong). The exact opposite of what the commonplace ideas say, really.
Let gifted kids be themselves, and NEVER tell them to hide anything.
@@Marie-vo8dr I wish you the best future, but inbetween, don't believe anything these bullies are saying about you. They'll be lying to you.
Marie by the way getting hated for opening my mouth and sharing uncommon interests happened to me way too much during Middle school. In Any case, don't ever forget that if Tell you that you're annoying/uninteresting and that nobody cares, this is simply not true. Some people do care and don't dare to say it. And don't let yourself silenced by the majority like I once did.
@@wordart_guian I teach my children to be true to themselves, but to also be aware of others' reactions, including jealousy (and trust me, parents can be even worse - and observed by children). But if there is no way to keep quiet, keep true to yourself.
When I was in kindergarten, I could read pretty well. One book I really enjoyed (because it was the only book I could find around my house since my parents weren’t American) was Diary of a wimpy kid. Even at that age I realized people don’t want others to talk about how they did a thing, they see it as bragging. When someone asked if I could read, I would say I could read, even long books like diary of a wimpy kid! They would always say, “really?” Or something that sounded like “can you though?” Mostly adults, since kid really aren’t thinking about that that young.
Knowing this, when my 6th grade buddie asked what my favorite book was during the first ‘buddie system’ day, I said a basic kids book that I recently listened to.
I don’t really know why that was stuck in my mind, but it sort of described my entire elementary years when I was worried I’d come off as arrogant and downplayed achievements. I held the impression I didn’t believe in myself, so everyone else did too.
My daughter's pediatrician stated that she was gifted at around a month or two old. Why? Because when she was doing her exam on her my daughter was tracking her and every move she made. My daughter was also observing the room and the people that were talking. The Doctor said that she only comes across babies like that very rarely. Fast-forward 9 years and my daughter was tested into a self-contained gifted program and had an estimated 140+ IQ. However, I guess she's not typical because she is not a perfectionist, has a normal EQ, and embraces change and socializes with her peers fine.
Had IQ tests without knowing I was gifted, quite convinced I couldn't make it, and off course I couldn't. Had one this week, giving it proper attention, and it felt like I could FEEL the answers if I'd give up using logics. Don't know the results yet, it was a paid test, but the experience was totally different 😂
My whole life, everyone including my family always told me that im weird. However my psychiatrist was the only person who told me that i have very high intelligence. He told me in the first day like its very impressive.
You definitely have the choice of whether or not to engage with a thought. I mean sure a thought process will proceed from a thought whether or not you engage with it now or later but you have the choice of stopping when you want. It can be either meditation or a diversion. Nothing wrong with taking a mental break. In fact my confusion simply demands it.
Being neurologically exceptional is not a gift; it is a double-edged curse.
Giftedness is whatever the gifted person wants it to be. Including LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME.
I wish this was known 40 years ago. Actually, I just wish people knew it today.
I was in the Gifted program and SLD at the same time. Vulnerability is something no one seems to understand.
Or having meaningful conversations. Social media and this TikTok yeah beautiful girls but hardly any substance.
If the world is all about profit , education will never change.
i was labeled OCD ODD bipolar and depressed for enforcing human rights humanitarian criminal refugee law aspergers for studying geography healing from psychology
Is there a guide or self help for gifted adults? Life is hard. It’s so painful and purpose less. I’m desperate to be understood and not have to minimize the importance of what I feel and think. I’m afraid to talk my mind. People say hurtful things. How can I help myself?
Be hyper-proud of your différences, Name them when You get picked on (the scientifical Names, it's harder to mock a différence with a name other than "weird", "nerd" or "freak"), and if they still manage to be hurtful, remember they technically are dumber than You. It light Sound pretentious but it really is a good way to cope.
(these are simply my views, and I'm not an adult yet so I can't judge well)
I can relate to your words. There's a great book called "Your rainforest mind"; it's aimed to improve the well-being of gifted adults :)
Hi Samina, this presentation is brilliant, apart from this, I found these books very helpful: Living with Intensity and The Gifted Adult.
If anyone understands French, the books of Carlos Tinoco are a treasure chest. He posits that it is not the gifted who are "more" than the normies, but the normies are inhibiting their full potential/capabilities.
PS a few of his videos on his channel "demonstrer" are fan-subbed in English. PLEASE WATCH!
This is a completely honest response, no joke, offense or sarcasm intended.. But i was a gifted child with much of these same problems and the only thing that has helped me as an adult is Jesus Christ
“I’m not gifted, i’m just busy!” 😂😂 I get it.
I just found out I’m gifted 🤗 why tf did no one tell me since childhood. Sense of humor we do have I was always the class clown. Yes we rebel when around inauthentic people that’s why I rebellious as a teen because I knew she was fake and she still is. I think my daughter Savannah‘s gift it as well because the example you gave about the six year old boy not liking being talking down to is exactly how my Savannah behaves and her verbiage is just advanced that’s why I speak to her like an adult I don’t treat her like a little kid because I can tell she’s a smart girl.
I think re: "easy" vs "hard"... personally, I don't like directions because I want to figure it out MYSELF. That's not as easy as just reading directions, but it's WAY more fun. The hard part is learning to follow directions, which is just incredibly boring.
I like the definition of asynchronous, it has a lot of meaning for me & I can see it in my kids. The issue is - "special needs" resources are reserved for the lower IQ, academically underachieving individuals. I have the diagnoses Autism & ADHD, but I'm almost certain, it's just asynchrony. My working memory cannot keep up with the rest of it. It's hard to hold my attention just with a position of authority (teacher etc). It definitely required different parenting & education but I only discovered these things in adulthood, probably triggered by the desire to support my kids. Being labelled as different (whichever learning difference), is hard in itself. I still feel alien, although the company is very welcome.
Also giftedness as a word can often been seen as ranking, or a superiority complex. I've met clearly gifted people who criticised me for seeking a label/being tested. It's simply more information & self-awareness I'm seeking not a status. I still have difficulties in life.
"Not potential... Develop... Nurture... Nurture potential" this was like the 4th thing in the first 6 minutes that made it impossible for me to endure this video any further.
Super interesting.
This woman is sounding inspirational to meself who only figured this out into my fifties.
As a gifted person, ill say that as a child. The most difficult part of life, was being treated like i was an average child. Even despite testing and actual knowledge otherwise. As an adult, its nearly impossible to find peers, outside of the internet. The difficulty is a culture of achievement. For myself, what am i slaving for? I wasnt born to work, but to learn, observe, and understand that im here to smell the roses, and contemplate mystery. Without societal acceptance, and aide, the grand designs wont come to fruition due to opposition, so achievement isnt my motivation.
It can be very lonely, and it can lead to mental illnesses. You can see examples of this in men like tesla, oppenheimer, and einstein. Try to image, being charlton heston living on the planet of the apes.
@francois marion. That loneliness is so hard to bear. And it is expressed so often among those who are gifted. I don’t think I’m gifted, but I do know loneliness. I wonder if there might be a Facebook group designed for those who are so intellectually gifted? If not, why not start one? It might prove to be an interesting experiment, at the very least. All the very best, 🙌
"Gifted" - no, it's not a gift at all. It's a separation from everyone else just like having an IQ under 70 except with the pressure to perform better than everyone else.
I agree with most of your points, relate to some of them and understand the others. However, I realized a long long time ago that only I can hold myself to certain standards and since very few else seem to hold themselves to those standards, why should I?
Basically, I've learned that being "gifted" means stress so I've chosen to opt out. I meet my expectations of myself and if that isn't good enough - oh well.
It’s almost a disability to be extremely gifted. I scored in 99 percentile in third grade. Two to three grades advanced, but there I was stuck in a class with a teacher who liked to pick on my penmanship. Later, the IQ test showed 145. Ironically, I was in principal’s office for setting a trash can accidentally on fire. (Lit a match and got caught and subtly dropped it) I had to pry the test score out of him. The best that I could do in school was get all the necessary credits and then take study halls in excess to read what I wanted to read. I did drugs. I skipped school but never got caught. When I had a son, he was gifted and skipped a grade. Now he has three kids. I crack sophisticated jokes with my two yr old grandtwins and they get the jokes. That sparkle is twinkling away in their eyes. I only hope they get out of standard classrooms because it is hard to find academic peers and deal with less than gifted authority figures. These kids have a gift and they’ll likely be seen as dangerous. Luckily, I worked through my pyromania and drug use and at 61, appreciate my abstract agenda. I just want the best for my progeny.
I can't imagine that a gifted child would use the argument of fairness (unless they're just manipulating you) just to get what they want. Usually they are indignant because something is objectively unfair - often to someone other than themselves.
Thank you (from Brazil)
I was gifted!!!! I painted and even my teacher thought my dad painted it haha I was 14 and played piano beethoven when I was 12 and I knew everything about the universe when I was 10 so I wasn't bad but now I can't do it anymore 😭😭😭 so used to be gifted 100% when I was 5 I thought how does it work that people start to write their language? How is it possible? I know how to speak but how to write it? How if it even possible for the brains to make it happen?? I think i was the only one thinking that 😂 but luckily I can write so it worked haha
Please activate the automatic translation of the channel so that we can benefit from the lecture
So sad how many parents proclaim their children's giftedness only to set them up for disappointment.
Statistics say that about 1/2 of the parents of gifted children are wrong in their assumptions.
Meeting a child at the limit of their capability is all that matters. Do that, and the rest will fall into place. I just feel like keeping your appraisal to yourself is the best way to deal with children.
Somehow I get the feeling that what is expressed here is not giftedness. Not really. Which goes along with my observation that those who concern themselves most with other people’s intelligence tend to not be the brightest people. It reminds me of a seminar I once attended where the speaker insisted that children with learning difficulties were somehow more intelligent than children without learning difficulties.
Lovely!
Brilliant
would love to see the slides … ;)
Body and brain 2 different entity's but connected.
Wish could add open caption/closed caption for the Deaf viewers. Thanks!!