@@jmar385 You got it twisted son I'm not speaking for anyone especially not a man because I am a woman and proud to be one! There maybe men who treat our bodies like a Temple but there is more to a woman than just her BODY!!! How do you treat the woman herself?
I had a male friend who asked me about casual sex, and had a hard time understanding why that wasn't something I was interested in. He honestly did not see the insult in wanting sex but never wanting to officially 'date' me like a respectable woman. This is a great discussion
Many men cannot see past that “👏🏼we don’t think or operate like them”. Yet will be arguing back and forth with us online telling us how WE FEEL??? Umm sir we’re not the same! If we understand y’all are different, why can’t you understand we are too. Even our brains and hormones differ..but I digress.
I had the same experience. He was angry he sent me an offensive message. I decided not to answer him and I am happy with the decision I made. We have to value ourselves.
I say this all the time. Why don’t men who “only want sex” just utilize sex workers. Take all the game playing out of the equation and deal with someone on a transactional basis. She gets her money and he gets his 🥜. It’s almost like there is a satisfaction gained from playing with someone’a feelings.
I dated a man who was living a double life entirely . It was horrific. And when I found out , he acted like we could still be “friends “ . I ended it completely. Years later I met someone who is such a God send . We are celebrating our 3rd anniversary 💍 this Oct. You are the right package , you may just be at the wrong address. Respect yourself and find someone with morals, respect and love . ❤️🙏
@TheChelseaSmithPodcast - how did you meet him? There are so many great women who have been played and poorly treated in relationships that they become guarded. Congrats to you for finding a good one!
Thank you so much, you deserve the best. Remember that people can only take away your happiness if you let them. Your worth is not determined by anyone else. Leave the person, stay far away and start to build yourself up. You will see there is something far greater out there for you!@@givemeataco
That's why I get sick of all this dating advice for women saying, stop looking for the hot guy and give the average or ugly guy a chance becuase he'll treat you right. No. I deserve to have an attractive man who is ALSO good to me. It's a double standard that men deserve a 10, but women must lower their standards in order to find a man. I've been told my standards are too high and this is why I'll always be alone. It's BS. If I can't ever imagine sex with you or even kissing you, I don't want to date you. And I'm not saying he has to be Jason Momoa or whatever, but he must be someone I find physically attractive. Personality isn't enough for men, women shouldn't have to settle either.
@@JollyCelery💯💯💯 Men have also resigned from life, it's not women's responsibility to settle for their mediocrity. I get that the economy sucks, but there's disparity between men and women, that's on men to step it up, not women to come down.
Women (especially black women), love dudes that CLEARLY are just players trying to smash. That is YOUR fault. Blame yourself. Because you purposely ignore good men who are marriage material, because you find them boring
Choosing a sexual partner is different for women because, in order for a woman to enjoy sex, she needs to allow herself to be vulnerable, and, to be able to do that, she has to emotionally trust the man. Thus, for her, how much she enjoys the experience greatly depends upon the personality of the guy and how he treats her. For men, it seems trust or no trust doesn't much matter and it's more the woman's body and visual stimulation which makes it pleasurable or not pleasurable for him.
And that's why dick pics are so ridiculous. It's a guy thinking that a woman will be turned on by seeing a penis. It doesn't work that way for a woman. She is sexually turned on by being in the presence of a man who she feels she can be emotionally vulnerable with.
All facts. And you've got guys out here thinking it's their looks that are the reason why they're struggling. I try to tell them they're failing because they're not doing what it takes to make that woman feel comfortable with them. That's personality. Guys that can do that never struggle with women no matter how they look
That's the most annoying part about relationships: trying to figure out which guys really care about a women's emotional well-being and which guys are just looking for a "pleasurable experience." That's where feminism got it wrong...when women agree to and engage in casual sex, it's the women that lose out in the long run. Biologically, we are more emotional/vulnerable in relationships...and as time has shown, casual sex almost never serves women positively. It actually does more harm than good.
Men don't actually have to like someone they have sex with. Bit disturbing actually, that men can disassociate sex from emotion so easily, but men do understand that women usually need some kind of emotional connection to have sex, so they fake having feelings just to get some. Women need to value themselves more.
Agreed. It’s in their biology to want to spread their seed as much as possible and also to cheat. I’m not trying to slander men when I say that either.
@@screamoguy100 no I know that much, this is more in regards to them saying men have waited 90 days or waited however long and faked emotion just to get in their pants, that's the part that's scary and idk how to decipher the difference. I have enough common sense to know if they're trying to sleep with me right away they only want that.
@@Hayley-ju6om Agree its scary how much calculation men put into trying to get sex. Didn't mean to imply you didn't know that, you'd be surprised though by how many women don't understand how conniving men can be.
She can’t “fathom” that bc it’s so different for women; men give, we RECEIVE. Sex with a man you’re not attracted to is like eating a meal that repels you. Men give so there’s nothing entering their bodies, it’s a different experience.
There's someone that's gonna love and value you,keep it moving ladies.and karma will be sure to take care of the guys that used you when your intentions was pure.
hope so but i doubt it. he's been with multiple girls since me, living his best life, successful, record labels, friends in all places in the world, oneyear later im struggling still
@@CC-br9qg I assume you only know the highlights? But have no idea what goes on in the background and you have no idea what’s in store for him. Don’t worry about what he has and don’t wish ill either because you’ll pay too. Do you and better yourself.
I hate to admit it, but he is spot on. If a woman senses there is something wrong, she'll put up with it hoping that he'll fall more in love with her and change. Sucks to be a woman 🤷♀️
That’s why you gotta chill out and observe them. Don’t ask them questions like the lady described. Don’t rush the relationship. Feel the feelings he evokes within you but don’t become attached to them. He’ll show you who he is _very_ quickly and if you know yourself, you’ll be able to tell compatibility and if you want to continue or not. Don’t go into a connection with the goal of changing them… I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me either. Women (I am one so don’t come at me) are so obsessed with getting a ring they rarely think long term and end up miserable later… this guy is so right.
"If they run away from diving deeper, they're not for you. That's the way to weed them out." When i met the man who is now my husband, there were no games. I knew that he liked me because of how he listened to me, and how thoughtful he was. We both genuinely enjoyed talking to each other and spending time together. There was no question in my mind about whether he was into me for real or not. We made a long distance relationship work for 3 years before moving to the same city to be together. I knew that if we could make it through that, we could make it through anything. Ladies, if a man loves you and cares about you, you'll know. If you have to question it, then he's not the one.
Women don’t get played, they play themselves. So true. I have seen this before but this brings it home. Intuition!!! Why can’t all men be as up front as Stephan. And the older dudes still play the same games.
Good men keep it real. Others dont...and won't ever. It's up to you to vet good. And when you see those signs...you address it once or get the running ma. 🏃
@@jayc5756 Andrew Tate is making millions of dollars telling men how to trick women into thinking they want a relationship so they can play them dirty. Take some responsibility for yourself and stop blaming women for all your problems.
This is easily understood. He said a good number of men view sex as a pleasurable experience. This means he likes the act of sex and how it feels to his penis. Just because he has sex with you doesn't mean he likes you or loves you. So, anything that has a hole in it would work. I would like to believe that most women know this by now. Mostly men want sex, not so much a romantic relationship and partnership.
Exactly. Men will fuck a warm pie if they wanted to. They will do anything to “get off”, so just because a man expresses his desire to have sex w/ you, DOES NOT mean that he wants you. He just wants what h can give him - and that’s pleasure
Yes we women do know this....that's not the problem. The issue is we are honest with the men we are dating by telling them what we are looking for.... a long term relationship that eventually leads to marriage. It's the men who want to trick us into thinking they want the same thing...but then 3 to 6 months later say "oh no that's not what I want" or "I'm just not in love with you anymore". Its almost like Men literally PLAN how they are going to break up with the women after getting what they wanted.
@@SunnySummer777exactly!!! Omg yes you said it correctly!! This happened to me years ago I was honest and you front and decided to “change my ways” and this guy straight up lied to me and decided after 5 months he didn’t want a relationship and made up an BS excuse 🤦🏽♀️ yes there were signs i over looked with in the 4 months so yes I do need to take accountability for not addressing the red flags even tho I was 18 when this happened. The guy I was dating was ( still is) the problem. He lied on his ex and I found out years later he was cheating and beating on his ex plus he tried to trap her with a baby. He was a clown and he has gotten his karma
That's because you are only focused on the top 10% of men. If you want a man looking for a relationship, go after an ugly guy. You will have no problems- guaranteed.
😢 A sad state of affairs. This is why its so important that women set their boundaries when it comes to sex and trust God to bring the man who won't just want to use you for sex.
The problem is that its too late for most of yall. Because when you FINALLY find a good man who is marriage material and won't use you... he will not want you. Because you've already allowed yourself to be used and tricked by bums
I so especially enjoyed the end when he said we should look out for red flags and use our intuition. Tell that to women/girls who have been abused by red flags but didn’t know what to look for. Not that we should anyway men should protect women and we shouldn’t have to worry about being mistreated. He should get a hair cut and wash hair before doling out this nonsense.
He’s being respectful (unlike these new podcasts out there about high value women etc) but he is being honest. Unfortunately a lot of conversation about women are just disrespectful these days but this I believe will be helpful for a lot of young girls out there. Don’t play yourself! Golden nugget of advice.
There was this guy I once liked very much. Perhaps loved. One day we were talking and in the convo he said to me , " in terms of getting women,50 percent of his work is already done because he is a Police officer and he knows how to talk, and he knows he is good looking, so it is easy to get women.' I was like in my mind, keep on talking brother, let me hear who you really are. That was it for me. I said to him, if you don't want anything serious with me and you are just looking for sex stay away from me!! Cause as you know I am a Christian woman and you ain't getting NO SEX here because we are not husband and wife. Call me old time but that is my stance and I am sticking to it!! Glory be to GOD.
Make sure you do kegels. To keep your pelvic floor tight, for health reasons. It affects your bladder, cycle and digestion. Also masturbate, orgasm helps release cortisol, the stress hormone that can cause weight gain. Men are terrible, sex and pleasure is divine and vital to life.
It's just NASTY how men play women. They get pleasure lying, deceiving and playing with someone else's feelings and emotions. If you dont like her, leave her alone, dont pretend you do. Women are so incredibly promiscuous these days, its not hard to find easy sex so go with a woman you actually like, pay a prostitute but DONT play with someone's heart. When will we hold men accountable for this nasty behaviour?!
@educatedqueen2799 Can relate 💯 if they have the chance to f somebody else they will. Last two guys I thought liked me but they started seeing somebody else and after like two months got married and had a child. They just suddenly ghosted me to then get married 🫠
This video is truly inspiring! I don’t usually share recommendations, but I have to tell you about the book women’s magic truths on borlest. It offers unique perspectives on wealth and self-care that you won’t find elsewhere. Wishing everyone all the best
He's right. I played myself to an extent. I knew it was wrong - I just kept going and hoping it would be okay. I ran away from the truth until the reality came and hit me in the face and then I couldn't run anymore. And then he ran after me but I didn't look back.
@blessedbrigit2710 please be strong and don't go back. Eventually you will be much happier for it. My life is now calm, peaceful and happy. A period of much needed stability and consequent growth
I lost my virginity at 26. I had the opportunity at dates I had before to lose it but It didn’t feel right for me, bc of that reason. I had Standards & when I met my now fiancé he was respectful, he kept his distance & I started to trust him & then I felt comfortable to sleep with him. I am so HAPPY i stayed an Virgin bc that kept me away of sleeping with an guy, bc I was afraid of losing it to someone that doesn’t care for me. Like literally virginity has such a big impact on how the way you see relationships, hook ups or whatever. It really keeps u away from giving your body, it’s like your power. If I maybe wasn’t a virgin I think I couldn’t go through it, bc I would know how sex feels like & I want it & don’t have to lose anything. So yeah.
@@sarahuduebho6058 Yes! That’s why it’s even written in the bible, Koran etc in holy books why it’s better waiting till marriage back then I never understood it & now I do. It really keeps u away from bad experience & bad guys, bc that was my power to go away from them.
Thank you for reinforcing in me the idea that stuff has to get talked about in the early stages, not be afraid to set boundaries and rules. If they run away, hey, another stone out of my way. Playing nice when you are not THAT nice only leads to misunderstandings and disillusion. We should start having these conversations more often.
it's not simply pleasurable experience... it's down right abuse. Not liking someone, but taking advantage of them means the man is a horrible character. Someone who would do the same, yes the same, with his wife or gf. Once in that mindset... difficult to erase.
A lot of these men watch porn. A sure way to see women as objects and where a man can completely lose his ability to love, to make love, to be loving and to share love. A sad world when parents allow porn to their children. No future to such kids.
Yes, accept your intuition! Thats been a lifelong lesson and now I’m starting to trust myself. But to trust yourself you have to be connected to your core and being a responsible leader for yourself.
@@faithful31us I know we wasn't put here to live on bread alone and we wasn't put here to ride every Tom, Dick and Harry either. We were commanded to follow God's instructions on how to live here, build our faith and rely on Him since we are imperfect, natural born sinners. He never lets me down but human beings do!
"If she's easy, she won't be special. If she's special, she won't be easy" words of Bob Marley and they are so true. A man wants want a woman with character.
It doesn't matter... even if he says she's "special" he'll still cheat on her. Because men objectify women and don't respect them...men view women as an accessory to their life, not as intelligent fully autonomous human beings.
Food for thought...these kinds of men just want to get in...get off...get out...get gone!!! Women wait for God to send the man that is for you...make sure you allow God to make you a prepared Godly woman that can receive his best...God keeps his best hidden and up on a shelf and if you want a good one you're going to have to come thru him and do it God's way!😊❤
@johnnahj343 sometimes he don't send nobody and that's fine with me. I do better by my damn self anyway LOL. it is only when I try to engage any of those demons out there with their predatory behavior and insatiable sexual appetite that I have issues. Protecting my peace as I live in solitude and remain single!
That’s what my husband told me about how men see sex 😂. I have to admit that I was completely shocked But that’s also a very good reason to save yourself for marriage.
Or to start getting paid for sex. I satisfy my needs and get money from it. Perfect. (Yes, it's sometimes hard and unpredictable but just like any kind of real work which sw definitely is)
This was very eye opening, and in hindsight it makes a lot of sense. I appreciate how you didn't bash men or us women who tend to fall too deep for the ones not meant for us. You explained things respectfully and almost scientifically! 😅 Nice video. I am now a subscriber! 😊
that's why it's so important not to sleep with a man you're seeing/dating (in a serious way) right away, to wait a long while....make sure you're compatible and not just an easy fix.
“Tolerate” 😢 Men should be upfront with women before sex and be clear he doesn’t want a relationship. That way she can decide to accept that situation or not.
I mean at a certain age you should be able to tell the difference between a man being genuinely interested or just wanting sex. By the age of 25 I was so in tune with myself that I could smell BS a mile away and never needed a man to clarify his intention because I already know what they were about.
@@jessicaribeiro8928, yes and some men are soooo good at lying you can’t tell whether they are or not. Sad fact is is that those types have been telling lies all their life and have no intentions on stopping nor do they care to.
@@MeetStephanSpeaksI have a question: if men are like that, the best thing for a woman is to remain single? I was never in a relationship and after this video I am even more scared to be with a guy. I don't want to be just a piece of meat.
Alot of men are out for a good time ONLY. Some will date you, ( not long) sweet talk you in that time period to get some, then get gone. Hit and run Many women , especially young, have been fool. Players only love you while they're playing. Thank u Ms. Nicks😉
I appreciate his honesty! It’s so hard to find someone these days because some will literally get to know you JUST to get some cooch from you & drop you after that. For that very reason, I stay to myself and let boundaries be known. If you don’t want a relationship with me, why would you want to sleep with me?
My husband passed 14 yrs ago and I still think of him everyday and daydream about our life and sexual experiences together with reverence and in technicolor Yes, I miss him dearly. Jesus is Love
intimacy is either a foreign concept or scary for people . sex is one of the most powerful forces on this planet 🌎, causing great light or extreme darkness in our lives , and most people can’t handle it properly.
I thank this man for being honest and sharing his perspective. It truly is mind boggling most men think so little of themselves that they feel they have to get what they can with someone they don’t like or even find attractive.
i had a colleague in the past who was exactly one of those "if it has legs, i'm gonna screw it" guys. he tried to get EVERY woman in his environment. he betrayed his wife(!) a couple of times weekly and thought this was an absolute normal MALE behaviour. it was so disgusting.
I love the reality of Stephan’s perspective. Woman pick & choose their reality which leads to a delusion/fantasy state & leading themselves into heartbreak based on their fantasy they’re living. As a woman, logical thinking over emotional thinking. A true man will say the truth (is literal with his words) and you don’t have to second guess him and you may not like his responses. But that’s on you to fix, it’s not the man.
For women, we have much more at stake when we have sex. Especially in the times when there weren’t all these contraceptions as there are now and when we were primarily stay at home moms or wives. Having sex could potentially end up in a pregnancy. And if that pregnancy did occur the woman and her child are now in a very vulnerable position. We are now dependent on the father (hopefully he’s still in the picture) for financial support and protection etc. This is why it’s embedded in us women to be picky and to have standards because the ramifications of choosing to sleep someone who isn’t a good provider and protector could be detrimental. Again in todays society it’s different as we have many more choices to prevent pregnancy but it’s still a possibility. Besides that point, we women are built differently than men. We need to be aroused before bodily fluids start to release during sex. Arousal takes time and is not just on a visual level as it is for men. It’s mental and emotional for most women as it goes back to feeling safe and secure etc. My 2 cents.
And when women pleasure themselves ? Were is the emotional and safe and secure feeling in this ? "Especially in the times when there weren’t all these contraceptions as there are now and when we were primarily stay at home moms or wives. " In times many contraceptives method was made (not that effective). They have control over their cycle, contraceptive potion and the myth of the woman in house is a myth because the vast majority worked.
Unpopular opinion, but I think that men view sex the way they do because society has made it the only acceptable form of affection they can seek out without looking “weak” or “soft”. They internalize that need for affection and skin-to-skin contact and their mindset automatically becomes that they can only seek that through sex, UNTIL they find a woman they can truly feel vulnerable with. And even THEN they may be too insecure to ask for other forms of affection. It doesn’t matter who I’m with; I love to cuddle. I used to be friends with benefits with this guy who was the stereotypical “don’t fall for me” charming heartbreaker type. After we would have sex, I started to cuddle and hold him, and the tough guy act completely fell. We never ended up dating. But he used to cry out during sex that I could do whatever I wanted to him, just please touch and hold him afterwards. And I would, and I loved to feel him just melt in my arms. Feeling a man melt in your arms because they feel safe, comfortable, and feel like they can be vulnerable with you is such a great feeling.
Stephan, you have no idea how much you changed my life since I started watching your videos. It was like a mix of therapy and workshops for me. You helped me come out of a toxic relationship, heal and go on stronger than ever. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
OMG the question you said we should ask about how a man is handling his finances in a relationship is so good. Could we get a list of what questions to ask early on in dating, That could help so many of us
I think sometimes it's just us gaslighting ourselves and thinking stuff like "yeah I have to stop being paranoid, he's/she's a good person cause he/she does this and that, it's just my traumas speaking" etc., and these thoughts brings us away from intuition
The problem IS there just aren't enough good plus attractive plus interesting men out there!! That's why we women overlook certain red flags in some men. Because they tick some of our boxes, and we're running out of options!! Especially as we get older.
From my experience the ones that really like you for more than just the bedroom you’ll start to see their hero instinct show up very quickly, before any overt flirtation.
This is why women need to be discerning. Sex puts us in a more emotional connection, because we can bear a child. So not fitting together is getting played! Unless, you choose play, and accept the risks!
Ladies lock it down, here's the truth. 😒 Just deleted a guy's number from my phone for playing games, he obviously wants nothing from me, but my body. No calls? BLOCKEDT!
Yes this is a good decision. I think more women should just stop sleeping with men as a whole because ain’t nobody got time for this play with my mind , body and soul thing
When i started opening my eyes and stopped thinking i was any different, i realized that men view sex like playing sports and one man even verbally confirmed that notion. Im going through a divorce and ita not that i need to heal per say but i need to gain a new understanding that men are different from what i expect and since my expectations can be a bit much for the average joe, i keep to myself and everybody is guilty until proven innocent and even then, im still watching. It all boils down to really listening and observing patterns in men.
I think the only way to stop women from being duped all the time by a sweet talking man, is to go back to the situation we once had of “no sex before marriage,” All this sexual freedom has done nothing but make life better for men, women have shot themselves in the foot.
are you implying that women were treated better when this was the standard? or that men had no choice but to marry to get what they wanted which resulted in more marriages? and are we overlooking the facts that the strict abstinence before marriage attitude was rooted in a shame based social order and that women had little options for self sufficiency outside of the nuclear family structure?
Sex can be very pleasurable for a woman too, and some women don't mind casual sex. It just all depends on what you're looking for. if you want a life-long partner, then wait before having sex--or wait till after marriage if you want--so you can really see someone's true intentions.
Yes i am also very much implying that anytime we as human beings move away from Gods way of doing things it’s a slippery slope…. And casual sex is disgusting and deplorable… why would someone who has kept themselves, highly respected themselves and have biblical morals ever want to marry a thot box or a man with community dick…. Y’all can keep on spreading things, having casual abortions and having fun…. It won’t be forever that certain things go on… courtship, abstinence, celibacy, marriage… yeah there is no such thing as dating and casual sex…. But the ones who lack understanding and the will to surrender will only for a time justify their harlotry…
When I was a teen, I heard a Deep Purple song “Knocking at your back door”. This is when I learned that it’s not the kill, it’s the thrill of the chase. Sometimes lyrics impact you and in that moment, I knew. I may have completely misinterpreted the lyrics but they served me all the same.
So much gold here! This makes me SO proud of myself for holding a man to spending time with me and appreciating my value before anything physical ever took place. You are absolutely right, that’s how you weed them out.
The crazy thing is that the man heard "oh shes trying to play games" when she verbalized her 90 day rule, when the women may have really been trying to get to know that man within that time frame to make sure it wld make sense to even have sex with him. I dont reccomend verbalizing it but still...smh. this is why u have to know the creature ur dealing with ladies. Men perceive things totally differently unless you thoroughly explain why ur doing a certain thing. They tend to immediately jump to the negative conclusion as a defense mechanism. This is also why you shldnt give them the benefit of the doubt. They dont give us that. They tend to immediately jump to a negative reason as to why something is happening. I've experienced that with them on several occasions....if theres ever a doubt, just politely ask questions to get clarity. Dont give benefit of the doubt and assume the best of them. It usually backfires when u do..i honestly think benefit of the doubt shld be used to keep u calm until can speak to them and ask the questions u need to ask. 😂
Soooooo true. Asking the right questions and following our intuition are the tools we have as a woman to know men who are players. Never ignore the red flags
These young girls need to stop giving it up so easily, it seems like self respect has been replaced by the manipulative lies of being a "free woman" , they have taken womens rights and perverted it, like its empowering to sleep around. Also, it is up to us women to show a man how we want to be treated, we are in control of that, what we are willing to put up with and what we are not...
Agreed. I'd add another layer to this too, though. Childhood trauma. Having a lack of physical and emotional intimacy as a kid messes you up later in life. Also, an absent father. Sometimes women sleep around because healthy relationships were never modeled for them. It's childhood trauma that needs to be unpacked. Lack of boundaries and self-worth. It's actually just really sad.
Unfortunately I agree with him iv often ignored the red flags hoping things will get better I do think this is largely due to my lack of self esteem from a young age I was taught to hate my body by my own mother which didn't help these days I'm more aware of what men are like
Hey. I just wanna say, this video made me realise I had been emotionally neglecting my boyfriend and treating him awfully when it came to sex. Thank you so much for making this video. I have really learnt an important lesson from this. You have a way of communicating that makes it really easy to understand the impact of sex on a man. I can’t thank you enough for helping me learn
He said that being with a woman and wanting to wake up next to them everyday and have marriage requires a different kind of attraction towards them. No. It requires a different kind of man. A elevated man. A man in his divine masculine energy. And the attraction part is important obviously but the long term relationship is reliant on whether or not you have a matured respectful man that can truly see what a woman is and the infinite value of a woman, knowing that she is source
I saved myself until i was 24....and even that wasnt "good enough." You could think you married the "love of your life" but out of nowhere...decides he is no longer in love with you and moves on. You just unfortunately will never know who "the one" is. In the bible, God actually NEVER says you will meet "the one" or a "soul mate"...he really just says "he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord" But even that doesnt make sense...how can a man who has betrayed & used countless women in relationships for sex then suddnely decides to marry the "the one" but only because "he's ready to settle down now"??? Men burn so many bridges with good women alllll the time...
Very true, this is a matter of moral values. If a man is honest from the onset, then the woman can say yes or no. But the deception and mind games make women feel miserable and men think that they "won". However, there will come a moment when they themselves get played and cheated on... and then they'll realize that their actions in the past have created very negative karma.
That’s why so many men end up with prostrate cancer and women cervical cancer. Too much sex with too many women/men. Our bodies weren’t made to have sex with many people. True, we were made to procreate, but with a marriage mate; the two will be one. Sex is for a married couple. A lack of self control will cost in the end. So many men just tell women what they think they want to hear because they are selfish. If a man wants you for a wife, he is willing to wait with no thought of pressure.
You mean wait in your friend zone for 5 years while you ignore me? That's a stupid man not a good one. As for sex maybe actually initiating sex when you are ready rather than expecting it to be the man's job and their wouldn't be any pressure.
"our bodies weren't made to have sex with many people". Please tell me whats the difference if I have sex with one man 3 times this week, or if I have sex one time with three different men this week? What exactly is my body not made to do??!!?!?!?
@@kathryn1541 Our bodies are made for one person. It’s really hard today, because if the one man has slept with several people we do also. Look it up. Vice versa for women.
@@kathryn1541 because God designed it that way. Started with Adam and Eve. The TWO shall become one. Not three, not 5, not 10. Humanity just perverted the idea and marriage with multiple people happened because of sinful desires like King David and King Solomon . And the many women actually became their downfall.
@@kathryn1541 It's called HPV. There are a lot of different strains and pretty much everyone got at least one, it can even be passed on from the mother to the child in birth. HPV causes various cancers such as cervical cancer and cancers of the throat or mouth, both in boys and in girls. Now, being exposed to one strain carries a risk for cancer in the future, but it's miniscule compared to the risk you carry for the rest of your life after sleeping with 5 - 10 people. By then, your chances of developing a disease related to HPV increases fivefold - over all, it's still low (if I remember correctly: 1 %), but every exposure to an additional HPV strain increases your risk to develop cancer because of it. There's a vaccine which covers the most common strains of the virus and will most likely prevent you from contracting them should you be exposed to them AFTER getting vaccinated. As far as I know it's the only available vaccine which can prevent cancer up to this day.
Thanks Sir I'm blessed each time I listen to you. I had this guy who wanted sexual intimacy with me but didn't care to knw anything about me. I certainly knew he was lusting after me... That can never be love cuz love will first be interested in building a healthy friendship. It's so crazy how some of my gender make stuffs like this so easy for these men. They now feel that we are all the same. What a pity!
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I hope you can help me with my love problems that I experiencing right now
Ladies just because a man desires you or lust after you DOES NOT mean he VALUES you!!!
Sad but true
You can’t speak for all men some us treat the body like the Temple, speak behalf on your own experience. You can’t speak for all of us
@jmar385 He his speaking facts, sir...100 percent..
@@oneilfarquharson-ifearthel3253 For some men yes! For all men no! Some of us desire women but treated their body like The Temple
@@jmar385 You got it twisted son I'm not speaking for anyone especially not a man because I am a woman and proud to be one! There maybe men who treat our bodies like a Temple but there is more to a woman than just her BODY!!! How do you treat the woman herself?
I had a male friend who asked me about casual sex, and had a hard time understanding why that wasn't something I was interested in. He honestly did not see the insult in wanting sex but never wanting to officially 'date' me like a respectable woman. This is a great discussion
Many men cannot see past that “👏🏼we don’t think or operate like them”. Yet will be arguing back and forth with us online telling us how WE FEEL??? Umm sir we’re not the same! If we understand y’all are different, why can’t you understand we are too. Even our brains and hormones differ..but I digress.
I had the same experience. He was angry he sent me an offensive message. I decided not to answer him and I am happy with the decision I made. We have to value ourselves.
What if I as a woman once wanted casual sex from a man who I saw very attractive?
@@Lexis134good for you.
@@Lexis134 That's men for you pal
" if you let someone talk long enough they will expose them selves"
OH YES❤
That's so true , so wait for it ladies, that way you don't waste any of your time.
I always say too!
I say this all the time. Why don’t men who “only want sex” just utilize sex workers. Take all the game playing out of the equation and deal with someone on a transactional basis. She gets her money and he gets his 🥜. It’s almost like there is a satisfaction gained from playing with someone’a feelings.
@@Caramel9487bc they don’t want a “dirty” sex worker!! They want a clean woman and it’s probably an ego boost to manipulate that woman
I dated a man who was living a double life entirely . It was horrific. And when I found out , he acted like we could still be “friends “ . I ended it completely. Years later I met someone who is such a God send . We are celebrating our 3rd anniversary 💍 this Oct. You are the right package , you may just be at the wrong address. Respect yourself and find someone with morals, respect and love . ❤️🙏
That's a beautiful story ❤
I love this! I’m going through something similar and your story gives me hope. Sending you a big hug from Puerto Rico ♥️🫂
@TheChelseaSmithPodcast - how did you meet him? There are so many great women who have been played and poorly treated in relationships that they become guarded. Congrats to you for finding a good one!
Thank you so much!@@Ikealover1111
Thank you so much, you deserve the best. Remember that people can only take away your happiness if you let them. Your worth is not determined by anyone else. Leave the person, stay far away and start to build yourself up. You will see there is something far greater out there for you!@@givemeataco
This is why I don't do casual s*x. She is right,I cannot fathom a man I'm not really into on top of me or worse inside me, yikes
That's why I get sick of all this dating advice for women saying, stop looking for the hot guy and give the average or ugly guy a chance becuase he'll treat you right. No. I deserve to have an attractive man who is ALSO good to me. It's a double standard that men deserve a 10, but women must lower their standards in order to find a man. I've been told my standards are too high and this is why I'll always be alone. It's BS. If I can't ever imagine sex with you or even kissing you, I don't want to date you. And I'm not saying he has to be Jason Momoa or whatever, but he must be someone I find physically attractive. Personality isn't enough for men, women shouldn't have to settle either.
Yeah…yuk🙈
@@rolliecrafts255
good one! 😅
My thoughts exactly 😮
@@JollyCelery💯💯💯 Men have also resigned from life, it's not women's responsibility to settle for their mediocrity. I get that the economy sucks, but there's disparity between men and women, that's on men to step it up, not women to come down.
This is why u ignore men until they love u. This was very open and honest. I respect it
Men are good at fake love. Tough lesson but learned just the same
Or until they marry you…
Women (especially black women), love dudes that CLEARLY are just players trying to smash. That is YOUR fault. Blame yourself. Because you purposely ignore good men who are marriage material, because you find them boring
Or wait until after marriage to have sex
ignoring men will dosnt make men fall in love with you anyway , men dont think like women simple.....
Choosing a sexual partner is different for women because, in order for a woman to enjoy sex, she needs to allow herself to be vulnerable, and, to be able to do that, she has to emotionally trust the man. Thus, for her, how much she enjoys the experience greatly depends upon the personality of the guy and how he treats her. For men, it seems trust or no trust doesn't much matter and it's more the woman's body and visual stimulation which makes it pleasurable or not pleasurable for him.
And that's why dick pics are so ridiculous. It's a guy thinking that a woman will be turned on by seeing a penis. It doesn't work that way for a woman. She is sexually turned on by being in the presence of a man who she feels she can be emotionally vulnerable with.
All facts. And you've got guys out here thinking it's their looks that are the reason why they're struggling. I try to tell them they're failing because they're not doing what it takes to make that woman feel comfortable with them. That's personality. Guys that can do that never struggle with women no matter how they look
That’s why I’m still a virgin at 26. I need to feel like I can trust the person I’m with. Im already a shy person and intimacy is a vulnerable state
@@kraziikiim Yes. Many women feel the same way you do.
That's the most annoying part about relationships: trying to figure out which guys really care about a women's emotional well-being and which guys are just looking for a "pleasurable experience." That's where feminism got it wrong...when women agree to and engage in casual sex, it's the women that lose out in the long run. Biologically, we are more emotional/vulnerable in relationships...and as time has shown, casual sex almost never serves women positively. It actually does more harm than good.
Men don't actually have to like someone they have sex with. Bit disturbing actually, that men can disassociate sex from emotion so easily, but men do understand that women usually need some kind of emotional connection to have sex, so they fake having feelings just to get some. Women need to value themselves more.
Agreed. It’s in their biology to want to spread their seed as much as possible and also to cheat. I’m not trying to slander men when I say that either.
Well how can you tell the difference?
@@Hayley-ju6om Don't sleep with them right away, if they run. then sex is all they were looking for.
@@screamoguy100 no I know that much, this is more in regards to them saying men have waited 90 days or waited however long and faked emotion just to get in their pants, that's the part that's scary and idk how to decipher the difference. I have enough common sense to know if they're trying to sleep with me right away they only want that.
@@Hayley-ju6om Agree its scary how much calculation men put into trying to get sex. Didn't mean to imply you didn't know that, you'd be surprised though by how many women don't understand how conniving men can be.
She can’t “fathom” that bc it’s so different for women; men give, we RECEIVE. Sex with a man you’re not attracted to is like eating a meal that repels you. Men give so there’s nothing entering their bodies, it’s a different experience.
2000%❤
@@mischaraine1645very great analogy
Interesting analogy! Makes sense
But can still receive STI/STDs, keep it up!
Agree 👏👏👏👏
There's someone that's gonna love and value you,keep it moving ladies.and karma will be sure to take care of the guys that used you when your intentions was pure.
hope so but i doubt it. he's been with multiple girls since me, living his best life, successful, record labels, friends in all places in the world, oneyear later im struggling still
Yes! Thank God! 🙏🏼 My soon to be ex husband. He can keep lying to everyone and sleeping around but I’m choosing my peace over him. ❤
Amen 🙏
💯
@@CC-br9qg I assume you only know the highlights? But have no idea what goes on in the background and you have no idea what’s in store for him.
Don’t worry about what he has and don’t wish ill either because you’ll pay too. Do you and better yourself.
Wish I had known this when I was a teenager! Ladies, tell your daughters, nieces. sisters, and your friends!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Same !
And teach your sons better, to respect women and sex
@@music0cool excellent point.
Some women like it and want the same. Not always a problem.
I hate to admit it, but he is spot on. If a woman senses there is something wrong, she'll put up with it hoping that he'll fall more in love with her and change. Sucks to be a woman 🤷♀️
No it doesn’t suck to be a women it’s sucks if u care about men
Totally agree, women ignore red flags and keep on trying to make it work 😢
That’s why you gotta chill out and observe them. Don’t ask them questions like the lady described. Don’t rush the relationship. Feel the feelings he evokes within you but don’t become attached to them. He’ll show you who he is _very_ quickly and if you know yourself, you’ll be able to tell compatibility and if you want to continue or not. Don’t go into a connection with the goal of changing them… I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me either. Women (I am one so don’t come at me) are so obsessed with getting a ring they rarely think long term and end up miserable later… this guy is so right.
"If they run away from diving deeper, they're not for you. That's the way to weed them out."
When i met the man who is now my husband, there were no games. I knew that he liked me because of how he listened to me, and how thoughtful he was. We both genuinely enjoyed talking to each other and spending time together. There was no question in my mind about whether he was into me for real or not.
We made a long distance relationship work for 3 years before moving to the same city to be together. I knew that if we could make it through that, we could make it through anything.
Ladies, if a man loves you and cares about you, you'll know. If you have to question it, then he's not the one.
Yes!!!
Best advice!! Thank you so much!!! I’m pretty sure I’ve met my husband 🙏🏽🤞🏽 can’t wait to see
Did you move to be with him?
@Dustpattyanya yes bcz she said they had 3 years long distance relationship and now they live together in the same city
Women don’t get played, they play themselves. So true. I have seen this before but this brings it home. Intuition!!! Why can’t all men be as up front as Stephan. And the older dudes still play the same games.
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
Good men keep it real. Others dont...and won't ever. It's up to you to vet good. And when you see those signs...you address it once or get the running ma. 🏃
They still get played a lie is still a lie
@@downbad2874 100% and some men are exceptionally accomplished and convincing liars
@@jayc5756 Andrew Tate is making millions of dollars telling men how to trick women into thinking they want a relationship so they can play them dirty. Take some responsibility for yourself and stop blaming women for all your problems.
This is easily understood. He said a good number of men view sex as a pleasurable experience. This means he likes the act of sex and how it feels to his penis. Just because he has sex with you doesn't mean he likes you or loves you. So, anything that has a hole in it would work. I would like to believe that most women know this by now. Mostly men want sex, not so much a romantic relationship and partnership.
Men are sentient, evolved beings, not base animals. If they choose to behave like base animals, leave them to the jungle.
Exactly. Men will fuck a warm pie if they wanted to. They will do anything to “get off”, so just because a man expresses his desire to have sex w/ you, DOES NOT mean that he wants you. He just wants what h can give him - and that’s pleasure
Yes we women do know this....that's not the problem. The issue is we are honest with the men we are dating by telling them what we are looking for.... a long term relationship that eventually leads to marriage. It's the men who want to trick us into thinking they want the same thing...but then 3 to 6 months later say "oh no that's not what I want" or "I'm just not in love with you anymore". Its almost like Men literally PLAN how they are going to break up with the women after getting what they wanted.
@@SunnySummer777exactly!!! Omg yes you said it correctly!! This happened to me years ago I was honest and you front and decided to “change my ways” and this guy straight up lied to me and decided after 5 months he didn’t want a relationship and made up an BS excuse 🤦🏽♀️ yes there were signs i over looked with in the 4 months so yes I do need to take accountability for not addressing the red flags even tho I was 18 when this happened. The guy I was dating was ( still is) the problem. He lied on his ex and I found out years later he was cheating and beating on his ex plus he tried to trap her with a baby. He was a clown and he has gotten his karma
That's because you are only focused on the top 10% of men. If you want a man looking for a relationship, go after an ugly guy. You will have no problems- guaranteed.
Pay attention Ladies this man is being truthful. Don’t give it away so quickly so easily.
😢 A sad state of affairs. This is why its so important that women set their boundaries when it comes to sex and trust God to bring the man who won't just want to use you for sex.
I agree!
Trusting God and having sex before marriage don't go together.
The problem is that its too late for most of yall. Because when you FINALLY find a good man who is marriage material and won't use you... he will not want you. Because you've already allowed yourself to be used and tricked by bums
@@auntiez4917100%, but i think believing in god and being a god fearing christian are two different things.
Meanwhile, god told us that we should be paid for that time wasted
Stay safe, ladies. Get to know a man, date him, and if you're sure he really likes you, you're safe to take things to a next level.
...and hopefully the next level won't be the deal breaker... (not what she's looking for sexually...)
I so especially enjoyed the end when he said we should look out for red flags and use our intuition. Tell that to women/girls who have been abused by red flags but didn’t know what to look for. Not that we should anyway men should protect women and we shouldn’t have to worry about being mistreated. He should get a hair cut and wash hair before doling out this nonsense.
A man who does not value you is a man who is not meant for you. Rejection is God's protection. Frankly, that is actually a good thing.
Wow thank you. Imma use this as this week's affirmation
@@Vulfmum 💕💕💕
He’s being respectful (unlike these new podcasts out there about high value women etc) but he is being honest. Unfortunately a lot of conversation about women are just disrespectful these days but this I believe will be helpful for a lot of young girls out there. Don’t play yourself! Golden nugget of advice.
Myron from fresh and fit 😂😂😂😂
This is y women need to save ourselves
Real talk
Agreed
Yeah 😪
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen ladies. Truth hurts. 👏👏
There was this guy I once liked very much. Perhaps loved. One day we were talking and in the convo he said to me , " in terms of getting women,50 percent of his work is already done because he is a Police officer and he knows how to talk, and he knows he is good looking, so it is easy to get women.'
I was like in my mind, keep on talking brother, let me hear who you really are.
That was it for me.
I said to him, if you don't want anything serious with me and you are just looking for sex stay away from me!! Cause as you know I am a Christian woman and you ain't getting NO SEX here because we are not husband and wife.
Call me old time but that is my stance and I am sticking to it!!
Glory be to GOD.
This is why I'm celibate over 6yrs now. Much easier this way trust me.
Make sure you do kegels. To keep your pelvic floor tight, for health reasons. It affects your bladder, cycle and digestion. Also masturbate, orgasm helps release cortisol, the stress hormone that can cause weight gain. Men are terrible, sex and pleasure is divine and vital to life.
SERIOUSLY THE BEST THING TO DO UNTIL MARRIAGE ❤
This is the most honest video from a man that I have ever heard. He’s telling the truth.
It's just NASTY how men play women. They get pleasure lying, deceiving and playing with someone else's feelings and emotions. If you dont like her, leave her alone, dont pretend you do. Women are so incredibly promiscuous these days, its not hard to find easy sex so go with a woman you actually like, pay a prostitute but DONT play with someone's heart.
When will we hold men accountable for this nasty behaviour?!
exactly
They make up "It's just a pleasurable experience and nothing more!" To make themselves feel better about abusing someones trust,vulnerability,and body
@educatedqueen2799 Can relate 💯 if they have the chance to f somebody else they will. Last two guys I thought liked me but they started seeing somebody else and after like two months got married and had a child. They just suddenly ghosted me to then get married 🫠
@educatedqueen2799 STOP HAVING SEX WITH MEN BEFORE MARRIAGE IF MARRAIGE IS WHAT YOU SEEK.
Very nasty.
This video is truly inspiring! I don’t usually share recommendations, but I have to tell you about the book women’s magic truths on borlest. It offers unique perspectives on wealth and self-care that you won’t find elsewhere. Wishing everyone all the best
He's right. I played myself to an extent. I knew it was wrong - I just kept going and hoping it would be okay. I ran away from the truth until the reality came and hit me in the face and then I couldn't run anymore. And then he ran after me but I didn't look back.
Same
Same for me. I ended it a few times.
😂 I'm in that situation any time I try to run away he pulls me back 😢
@blessedbrigit2710 please be strong and don't go back. Eventually you will be much happier for it. My life is now calm, peaceful and happy. A period of much needed stability and consequent growth
Bingo - I was in a similar situation and now I’m healing myself from it
I lost my virginity at 26. I had the opportunity at dates I had before to lose it but It didn’t feel right for me, bc of that reason. I had Standards & when I met my now fiancé he was respectful, he kept his distance & I started to trust him & then I felt comfortable to sleep with him. I am so HAPPY i stayed an Virgin bc that kept me away of sleeping with an guy, bc I was afraid of losing it to someone that doesn’t care for me. Like literally virginity has such a big impact on how the way you see relationships, hook ups or whatever. It really keeps u away from giving your body, it’s like your power. If I maybe wasn’t a virgin I think I couldn’t go through it, bc I would know how sex feels like & I want it & don’t have to lose anything. So yeah.
This is so true, being a virgin has saved me from so many bad experiences
@@sarahuduebho6058 Yes! That’s why it’s even written in the bible, Koran etc in holy books why it’s better waiting till marriage back then I never understood it & now I do. It really keeps u away from bad experience & bad guys, bc that was my power to go away from them.
true
@@sarahuduebho6058😮
Must be nice
Thank you for reinforcing in me the idea that stuff has to get talked about in the early stages, not be afraid to set boundaries and rules. If they run away, hey, another stone out of my way.
Playing nice when you are not THAT nice only leads to misunderstandings and disillusion. We should start having these conversations more often.
“Pause for a moment of silence for your feelings and your edges” 😂 I’m crying, I love this
Omg same. That alone makes me want to subscribe, gonna watch a few more to decide as this is my first time seeing this channel
it's not simply pleasurable experience... it's down right abuse. Not liking someone, but taking advantage of them means the man is a horrible character. Someone who would do the same, yes the same, with his wife or gf. Once in that mindset... difficult to erase.
Well said! They only view us as sexual objects!!!!!
Women does it too not only men
A lot of these men watch porn. A sure way to see women as objects and where a man can completely lose his ability to love, to make love, to be loving and to share love. A sad world when parents allow porn to their children. No future to such kids.
@@datkiddjophat4290 yes they do. It's the same for women who are of low character.
@@matilda4406 I don’t think it’s low character I think it’s choice . & preference
Yes, accept your intuition! Thats been a lifelong lesson and now I’m starting to trust myself. But to trust yourself you have to be connected to your core and being a responsible leader for yourself.
I understand all this. If you take this stance of saving yourself, you will be alone. Nothing wrong with being alone. But most desire to be married
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
If you have a personal relationship with God then you're never alone! More peace, no hurt feelings or broken 💔, no man or baby mama drama!
@tinahankins2443 yea but we wasn't put here to live on bread alone. Or no man is an island
@@faithful31us I know we wasn't put here to live on bread alone and we wasn't put here to ride every Tom, Dick and Harry either. We were commanded to follow God's instructions on how to live here, build our faith and rely on Him since we are imperfect, natural born sinners. He never lets me down but human beings do!
@@tinahankins2443 He has always let me down.
"If she's easy, she won't be special. If she's special, she won't be easy" words of Bob Marley and they are so true. A man wants want a woman with character.
Old fanshioned bs.
Real men do
This is not true
lol spoken from Bob Marley the womanizer
It doesn't matter... even if he says she's "special" he'll still cheat on her. Because men objectify women and don't respect them...men view women as an accessory to their life, not as intelligent fully autonomous human beings.
Food for thought...these kinds of men just want to get in...get off...get out...get gone!!! Women wait for God to send the man that is for you...make sure you allow God to make you a prepared Godly woman that can receive his best...God keeps his best hidden and up on a shelf and if you want a good one you're going to have to come thru him and do it God's way!😊❤
AMEN AMEN ❤
@johnnahj343 sometimes he don't send nobody and that's fine with me. I do better by my damn self anyway LOL. it is only when I try to engage any of those demons out there with their predatory behavior and insatiable sexual appetite that I have issues. Protecting my peace as I live in solitude and remain single!
Hearing this from a guy was mind blowing, because sometimes we forget that we are different. Thanks 🙏🏾
Love it! He is right in that we always know…we may not want to believe or confront, but we always know something!
That’s what my husband told me about how men see sex 😂. I have to admit that I was completely shocked
But that’s also a very good reason to save yourself for marriage.
Or to start getting paid for sex. I satisfy my needs and get money from it. Perfect. (Yes, it's sometimes hard and unpredictable but just like any kind of real work which sw definitely is)
How old are you that you didn’t know this ? Shocking. Or only been with one man?
@@saraandstuartshannon2160 or to charge money for sex, as I do. I don't make sex for free, but I profit from it.
This was very eye opening, and in hindsight it makes a lot of sense. I appreciate how you didn't bash men or us women who tend to fall too deep for the ones not meant for us. You explained things respectfully and almost scientifically! 😅 Nice video. I am now a subscriber! 😊
I view it as a way to connect with my partner. I'm not promiscuous, so when I have sex with a woman, it's a form of deep connection for me.
I’m glad some men like you exist.
❤
comments like this give me hope for humanity
Thanks for speaking the truth Stephan. Although the truth can hurt, the illusion hurts much worse down the line.
🙏
that's why it's so important not to sleep with a man you're seeing/dating (in a serious way) right away, to wait a long while....make sure you're compatible and not just an easy fix.
Even then they're still FOS😂
“Tolerate” 😢
Men should be upfront with women before sex and be clear he doesn’t want a relationship. That way she can decide to accept that situation or not.
I mean at a certain age you should be able to tell the difference between a man being genuinely interested or just wanting sex. By the age of 25 I was so in tune with myself that I could smell BS a mile away and never needed a man to clarify his intention because I already know what they were about.
But they lie because that’s what works for them 😢
@@jessicaribeiro8928, yes and some men are soooo good at lying you can’t tell whether they are or not. Sad fact is is that those types have been telling lies all their life and have no intentions on stopping nor do they care to.
Absolutely this. They think women are just ok with being used and dumped. Gross. I don’t trust men anymore.
I agree, but if he tells her the truth his chances of actually have sex are lower. Does he want to take that risk ? 🤔
Maya Angelou said it: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them”.
The FIRST time!!!!
Stephan is THE shit!!! He always has the answers.
Facts!
He is a man and trying to save your pus…… from demonic pi…….
Loved this video but broke my heart 😢 It’s hard to know sometimes who’s right for you
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaksI have a question: if men are like that, the best thing for a woman is to remain single? I was never in a relationship and after this video I am even more scared to be with a guy. I don't want to be just a piece of meat.
Alot of men are out for a good time ONLY. Some will date you, ( not long) sweet talk you in that time period to get some, then get gone. Hit and run
Many women , especially young, have been fool. Players only love you while they're playing. Thank u Ms. Nicks😉
Fact!!! Stephan you are always factual and straight to the point.
Which I love so much about him and his advice. I appreciate him blessing us with honesty!
Sounds hurtful and horrible but so true!! Ladies be patient, ask the real questions from the beginning and be honest with yourself.
I appreciate his honesty! It’s so hard to find someone these days because some will literally get to know you JUST to get some cooch from you & drop you after that. For that very reason, I stay to myself and let boundaries be known. If you don’t want a relationship with me, why would you want to sleep with me?
My husband passed 14 yrs ago and I still think of him everyday and daydream about our life and sexual experiences together with reverence and in technicolor Yes, I miss him dearly. Jesus is Love
intimacy is either a foreign concept or scary for people . sex is one of the most powerful forces on this planet 🌎, causing great light or extreme darkness in our lives , and most people can’t handle it properly.
I thank this man for being honest and sharing his perspective. It truly is mind boggling most men think so little of themselves that they feel they have to get what they can with someone they don’t like or even find attractive.
i had a colleague in the past who was exactly one of those "if it has legs, i'm gonna screw it" guys. he tried to get EVERY woman in his environment. he betrayed his wife(!) a couple of times weekly and thought this was an absolute normal MALE behaviour. it was so disgusting.
I love the consistency you have stephan❤❤
Thank you!
I love the reality of Stephan’s perspective. Woman pick & choose their reality which leads to a delusion/fantasy state & leading themselves into heartbreak based on their fantasy they’re living. As a woman, logical thinking over emotional thinking. A true man will say the truth (is literal with his words) and you don’t have to second guess him and you may not like his responses. But that’s on you to fix, it’s not the man.
The silent part we aren’t saying out loud is that in many cases, getting that relationship will drain you anyway.
Men as a whole group need to take way more personal sexual responsibility and for their own actions.
That part
For women, we have much more at stake when we have sex. Especially in the times when there weren’t all these contraceptions as there are now and when we were primarily stay at home moms or wives.
Having sex could potentially end up in a pregnancy. And if that pregnancy did occur the woman and her child are now in a very vulnerable position. We are now dependent on the father (hopefully he’s still in the picture) for financial support and protection etc.
This is why it’s embedded in us women to be picky and to have standards because the ramifications of choosing to sleep someone who isn’t a good provider and protector could be detrimental.
Again in todays society it’s different as we have many more choices to prevent pregnancy but it’s still a possibility.
Besides that point, we women are built differently than men. We need to be aroused before bodily fluids start to release during sex. Arousal takes time and is not just on a visual level as it is for men. It’s mental and emotional for most women as it goes back to feeling safe and secure etc.
My 2 cents.
So its not natural for a woman to sleep arround?
And when women pleasure themselves ? Were is the emotional and safe and secure feeling in this ?
"Especially in the times when there weren’t all these contraceptions as there are now and when we were primarily stay at home moms or wives. "
In times many contraceptives method was made (not that effective). They have control over their cycle, contraceptive potion and the myth of the woman in house is a myth because the vast majority worked.
Wow... I'm a bit disgusted by "they just want to try it out". Thank you God for my husband!
Unpopular opinion, but I think that men view sex the way they do because society has made it the only acceptable form of affection they can seek out without looking “weak” or “soft”. They internalize that need for affection and skin-to-skin contact and their mindset automatically becomes that they can only seek that through sex, UNTIL they find a woman they can truly feel vulnerable with. And even THEN they may be too insecure to ask for other forms of affection. It doesn’t matter who I’m with; I love to cuddle. I used to be friends with benefits with this guy who was the stereotypical “don’t fall for me” charming heartbreaker type. After we would have sex, I started to cuddle and hold him, and the tough guy act completely fell. We never ended up dating. But he used to cry out during sex that I could do whatever I wanted to him, just please touch and hold him afterwards. And I would, and I loved to feel him just melt in my arms. Feeling a man melt in your arms because they feel safe, comfortable, and feel like they can be vulnerable with you is such a great feeling.
Sounds beautiful and highly spiritual. I'd love to experience that with a man someday ❤
I agree!!
But did you get anything in return? Like did he provide for you? Otherwise he's just getting what he wants for free
Thanks for sharing.
Story. Like I don’t want to melt in someone’s arms too mmtcheeew. 🙄
Stephan, you have no idea how much you changed my life since I started watching your videos. It was like a mix of therapy and workshops for me. You helped me come out of a toxic relationship, heal and go on stronger than ever. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
OMG the question you said we should ask about how a man is handling his finances in a relationship is so good. Could we get a list of what questions to ask early on in dating, That could help so many of us
Women are very intuitive so we need to REALLY tune in to that still small voice & stop ignoring that inner guidance
I think sometimes it's just us gaslighting ourselves and thinking stuff like "yeah I have to stop being paranoid, he's/she's a good person cause he/she does this and that, it's just my traumas speaking" etc., and these thoughts brings us away from intuition
7:38 communication is key‼️ and if your partner don’t wanna talk that should tell you something
The problem IS there just aren't enough good plus attractive plus interesting men out there!! That's why we women overlook certain red flags in some men. Because they tick some of our boxes, and we're running out of options!! Especially as we get older.
Tell em sis, tired of it... where are the attractive and genuine guys out there
@@saramathurasingh9285
"Man beauty" is in the eye of the beholder. 😂
Also, very true!!
This!!!!!!
Yep you are so right.
From my experience the ones that really like you for more than just the bedroom you’ll start to see their hero instinct show up very quickly, before any overt flirtation.
This is why women need to be discerning. Sex puts us in a more emotional connection, because we can bear a child. So not fitting together is getting played! Unless, you choose play, and accept the risks!
❤❤
Ladies lock it down, here's the truth. 😒 Just deleted a guy's number from my phone for playing games, he obviously wants nothing from me, but my body. No calls? BLOCKEDT!
Glad I could help 🙏
Thanks sis!
Gotta do what you gotta do and what is best!
SO VERY TRUE❤
I am also very ruthless with my blocking now
That’s why I am just gonna stay single. To me it’s more than just a feeling.
Single forever ✌🤟
@@hsdiem0 I’m happy by myself tbh. ✌🏻😘
Yes this is a good decision. I think more women should just stop sleeping with men as a whole because ain’t nobody got time for this play with my mind , body and soul thing
When i started opening my eyes and stopped thinking i was any different, i realized that men view sex like playing sports and one man even verbally confirmed that notion. Im going through a divorce and ita not that i need to heal per say but i need to gain a new understanding that men are different from what i expect and since my expectations can be a bit much for the average joe, i keep to myself and everybody is guilty until proven innocent and even then, im still watching. It all boils down to really listening and observing patterns in men.
A relationship built on mistrust will never work Trust yourself (intuition). Ask the hard questions. Weed the players out but don’t be one.
As a woman I love sex and was absolutely fine with a casual hook up when I was young and single. Not every woman wants a relationship.
I’m looking for a casual hookup now I’m a young single man
I think the only way to stop women from being duped all the time by a sweet talking man, is to go back to the situation we once had of “no sex before marriage,” All this sexual freedom has done nothing but make life better for men, women have shot themselves in the foot.
So true
Fr
are you implying that women were treated better when this was the standard? or that men had no choice but to marry to get what they wanted which resulted in more marriages?
and are we overlooking the facts that the strict abstinence before marriage attitude was rooted in a shame based social order and that women had little options for self sufficiency outside of the nuclear family structure?
Sex can be very pleasurable for a woman too, and some women don't mind casual sex. It just all depends on what you're looking for. if you want a life-long partner, then wait before having sex--or wait till after marriage if you want--so you can really see someone's true intentions.
Yes i am also very much implying that anytime we as human beings move away from Gods way of doing things it’s a slippery slope…. And casual sex is disgusting and deplorable… why would someone who has kept themselves, highly respected themselves and have biblical morals ever want to marry a thot box or a man with community dick…. Y’all can keep on spreading things, having casual abortions and having fun…. It won’t be forever that certain things go on… courtship, abstinence, celibacy, marriage… yeah there is no such thing as dating and casual sex…. But the ones who lack understanding and the will to surrender will only for a time justify their harlotry…
Yet after they get their special woman, they still can’t stop
exactly
Their egos and selfishness are bigger than their decency.
Because they are not really in love
Yep
@@niandral104 They are not capable of loving anyone but themselves.
As a woman who never got “The Talk” this really helps !
“he wants to try it out” was such a crazy statement to me😭😭😭.. i cant believe this
When God says, "No!" Listen!
YOU BETTER ❤
Goes both ways, If he tears your Kingdom up he will do the same to life. ❤ I already said you weren't for me!!!
When I was a teen, I heard a Deep Purple song “Knocking at your back door”. This is when I learned that it’s not the kill, it’s the thrill of the chase.
Sometimes lyrics impact you and in that moment, I knew. I may have completely misinterpreted the lyrics but they served me all the same.
I like the fact that he includes God in this dialogue
It’s crazy how I feel like the same man who went out of his way to act in a deceitful way would be the same man hollering about a woman’s body count.
Shoutout to all the GOOD men out there ❤ Please know us good women Appreciate and Respect you!
So much gold here! This makes me SO proud of myself for holding a man to spending time with me and appreciating my value before anything physical ever took place. You are absolutely right, that’s how you weed them out.
The crazy thing is that the man heard "oh shes trying to play games" when she verbalized her 90 day rule, when the women may have really been trying to get to know that man within that time frame to make sure it wld make sense to even have sex with him. I dont reccomend verbalizing it but still...smh.
this is why u have to know the creature ur dealing with ladies. Men perceive things totally differently unless you thoroughly explain why ur doing a certain thing. They tend to immediately jump to the negative conclusion as a defense mechanism. This is also why you shldnt give them the benefit of the doubt. They dont give us that. They tend to immediately jump to a negative reason as to why something is happening. I've experienced that with them on several occasions....if theres ever a doubt, just politely ask questions to get clarity. Dont give benefit of the doubt and assume the best of them. It usually backfires when u do..i honestly think benefit of the doubt shld be used to keep u calm until can speak to them and ask the questions u need to ask. 😂
Soooooo true. Asking the right questions and following our intuition are the tools we have as a woman to know men who are players. Never ignore the red flags
These young girls need to stop giving it up so easily, it seems like self respect has been replaced by the manipulative lies of being a "free woman" , they have taken womens rights and perverted it, like its empowering to sleep around. Also, it is up to us women to show a man how we want to be treated, we are in control of that, what we are willing to put up with and what we are not...
ABSOLUTELY ❤
Totally agree iv stupidity made mistakes and it doesn't make you feel good 😔
true!!!
💯
Agreed. I'd add another layer to this too, though. Childhood trauma. Having a lack of physical and emotional intimacy as a kid messes you up later in life. Also, an absent father. Sometimes women sleep around because healthy relationships were never modeled for them. It's childhood trauma that needs to be unpacked. Lack of boundaries and self-worth. It's actually just really sad.
Unfortunately I agree with him iv often ignored the red flags hoping things will get better I do think this is largely due to my lack of self esteem from a young age I was taught to hate my body by my own mother which didn't help these days I'm more aware of what men are like
this guy is awesome. i love his honesty. he explains everything so perfectly.
How do men sleep at night knowing they’re building a whole different reality for a person?
Thinking the same thing. This is horrible!
Alot of them don't sleep well
Because they don't care. They are out for 1 thing. That's all.
They compartmentalize. A man told me. They can dissociate from reality so they don’t feel bad. That’s also how they’re able to cheat so easily.
They don’t care lol
This is why I have now decided to wait untill I'm married.
Marriage is a control tactic. Protect your peace and stay single!
Hey. I just wanna say, this video made me realise I had been emotionally neglecting my boyfriend and treating him awfully when it came to sex. Thank you so much for making this video. I have really learnt an important lesson from this. You have a way of communicating that makes it really easy to understand the impact of sex on a man. I can’t thank you enough for helping me learn
He said that being with a woman and wanting to wake up next to them everyday and have marriage requires a different kind of attraction towards them.
No.
It requires a different kind of man. A elevated man. A man in his divine masculine energy. And the attraction part is important obviously but the long term relationship is reliant on whether or not you have a matured respectful man that can truly see what a woman is and the infinite value of a woman, knowing that she is source
I respect his honesty.
This is very empowering to hear about.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
I saved myself until i was 24....and even that wasnt "good enough." You could think you married the "love of your life" but out of nowhere...decides he is no longer in love with you and moves on. You just unfortunately will never know who "the one" is. In the bible, God actually NEVER says you will meet "the one" or a "soul mate"...he really just says "he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtaineth favour of the Lord"
But even that doesnt make sense...how can a man who has betrayed & used countless women in relationships for sex then suddnely decides to marry the "the one" but only because "he's ready to settle down now"??? Men burn so many bridges with good women alllll the time...
So true!
Very true, this is a matter of moral values. If a man is honest from the onset, then the woman can say yes or no. But the deception and mind games make women feel miserable and men think that they "won". However, there will come a moment when they themselves get played and cheated on... and then they'll realize that their actions in the past have created very negative karma.
It is so good to hear this out loud, honest and open, thank you for this discussion 👍
never in my life I thought I would agree to a man other than my father so accurately
Ladies always put yourself first, most men even the married ones cheat.
They cheat MORE than single men.
That’s why so many men end up with prostrate cancer and women cervical cancer. Too much sex with too many women/men. Our bodies weren’t made to have sex with many people. True, we were made to procreate, but with a marriage mate; the two will be one. Sex is for a married couple. A lack of self control will cost in the end. So many men just tell women what they think they want to hear because they are selfish. If a man wants you for a wife, he is willing to wait with no thought of pressure.
You mean wait in your friend zone for 5 years while you ignore me?
That's a stupid man not a good one.
As for sex maybe actually initiating sex when you are ready rather than expecting it to be the man's job and their wouldn't be any pressure.
"our bodies weren't made to have sex with many people". Please tell me whats the difference if I have sex with one man 3 times this week, or if I have sex one time with three different men this week? What exactly is my body not made to do??!!?!?!?
@@kathryn1541 Our bodies are made for one person. It’s really hard today, because if the one man has slept with several people we do also. Look it up. Vice versa for women.
@@kathryn1541 because God designed it that way. Started with Adam and Eve. The TWO shall become one. Not three, not 5, not 10. Humanity just perverted the idea and marriage with multiple people happened because of sinful desires like King David and King Solomon . And the many women actually became their downfall.
@@kathryn1541 It's called HPV. There are a lot of different strains and pretty much everyone got at least one, it can even be passed on from the mother to the child in birth. HPV causes various cancers such as cervical cancer and cancers of the throat or mouth, both in boys and in girls.
Now, being exposed to one strain carries a risk for cancer in the future, but it's miniscule compared to the risk you carry for the rest of your life after sleeping with 5 - 10 people. By then, your chances of developing a disease related to HPV increases fivefold - over all, it's still low (if I remember correctly: 1 %), but every exposure to an additional HPV strain increases your risk to develop cancer because of it. There's a vaccine which covers the most common strains of the virus and will most likely prevent you from contracting them should you be exposed to them AFTER getting vaccinated. As far as I know it's the only available vaccine which can prevent cancer up to this day.
Thanks Sir
I'm blessed each time I listen to you.
I had this guy who wanted sexual intimacy with me but didn't care to knw anything about me. I certainly knew he was lusting after me...
That can never be love cuz love will first be interested in building a healthy friendship.
It's so crazy how some of my gender make stuffs like this so easy for these men. They now feel that we are all the same.
What a pity!