Women are not dating men to be treated like prostitutes, a man should never expect sex in exchange for a meal, that's just pathetic I'm afraid. It's a sad world we are living in.
Jesus fed 5000 people for free... these men want sex after just one plate of meal.😂😅🤣😂😁😆.... I think 1st date should be at a park at least there is no expenses.
Exactly but unfortunately too many women have condition men to behave like this so when they meet someone with sense they do not understand why we have the stance we have.
This is a KEY REASON why I've completely stopped dating men anymore. I'm going on 3 years strong now and no man in my life because I do not want ANY part of these stupid problems or extra stress in my life. Hell, it's funny how men are suddenly complaining about BEING USED. For decades, women have been being used for our bodies and men don't see anything wrong with that!! They are reaping what they sow. Good riddance to these street dogs. (And yes, when I say I'm committee to never dating men again, that automatically means being celibate without question!).
what happened to holding hands, kissing, making out? why does it have to be sex IMMEDIATELY (and sometimes aggressively) to show you they’re interested in you? what happened to expressing sexual or romantic interest with words? why do the majority of men not know how to do this anymore? or know how to be romantic or express themselves romantically? it doesn’t have to be explicitly sexual and if it is, it doesn’t have to be disrespectful. i don’t understand what’s happened to humanity. why is it so hard for them to communicate or go to therapy to learn these skills and more importantly, HEAL and stop bleeding on and hurting so many women. gah. i’m so tired of this.
@@CarmenPerez-kz6rw i’m sure some do but i haven’t encountered them yet. i know there are many great men out there! but im expressing my frustrating of talking to 30 year olds who are emotionally still 10 years old and don’t go to therapy because it’s not “logical” yet…they can’t commit and so many other issues i won’t get into.
I really like this young man channel, I have to say this because it hit my spirit Adorable 🥰Stephan.The Human being has lost ways to LOVE!😢😮love is taking your time, love is getting to know 1/another, it’s a magical feeling that U don’t know why it TIES&BINDS😮Many people want things in a New York minute! all true feelings are gone music, pornography (🤢🤮woman who do this for$)TV adds all sexual No romanticism🥹The love aspect is doomed😞😢
Earlier this month, a man ghosted me after three months of a situationship. He did not want to go out on dates. He explained that he is a homebody, so we did things at his house, like watch T.V. and eat home-cooked meals. After one month of dating, he asked me for sex. When I asked him to take an STD test, he refused. He explained that he prefers to use a condom. Maybe that is why he ghosted me. I am so glad that I never slept with him. As a matter of fact, I should have been the one to ghost him after he refused to take the test.
Set a boundary with them and you’ll soon see where you stand. They either... disappear for good....are genuine, wanting to get to know you and let things develop naturally or they disappear and circle back around after a few months like nothing happened. But, which ever happens, you have your dignity in tact and won’t regret it.
Exactly 💯 percent! Women have to allow themselves to be used sexually by these "Low-Value Men" who have zero integrity or moral standards... No thanks!! 🙏❤✝️
1. When you sleep with him, he thinks you are too easy so he puts in less effort. 2. When you sleep with him, he thinks you are worth the investment. WHICH ONE IS IT?!!😭😭😭
Most men will sleep with a woman who makes herself available to him without loving her. Patience and time without romance will expose a man's intention towards a woman.
@@TammBiancx True. It also depends what type of guy you're dealing with. Usually dusties will want the cookies way early because they have nothing to offer you. But wealthy men will put in the time and effort because a meal at a restaurant is nothing to him so he doesn't mind waiting for the cookie and earning it unlike dusties who don't believe in earning anything and are surprisingly more entitled than wealthy men, go figure.
The audacity of men expecting sex as showing ‘interest’. We already basically risk our lives being alone with them and spending money on our appearance. Maybe we need to bring back the Bridgerton days with chaperones to see how they like it 😂
And what's crazy too many women are perverted for dressing to provocative, half naked in public when it's too many pedophiles that rapes or molested many innocent females
Yes. The guy I’m seeing doesn’t expose himself at all. He’s a “gentleman”. Wants to do anything I want to do, can follow me in conversation on things I really care about, but it doesn’t take me into really feeling close with him. We’re still on the friend level. We can only go deeper when he goes deeper. But he is walled up, I can feel the wall. And if I sense that, there is no way I can be physically intimate with you, cause WHO is this person with me. Sure you’re trying hard to impress me, but you ain’t giving me anything I can feel, something that will open my heart towards you romantically
Often as a women I feel the way to break the walls is the physical intimacy but is that really the case for men. Sex is supposed to be the glue that holds you but surely it can only do that if you both are fully invested together in every way
@@CatherineHart.hh3vwthat is not the case for many ppl. Sex is an act. The reasons for the act vary. Some place more emphasis on the engagement than others.
@@Strawberryfreeze3000 sex is a skill. It can be learned with patience, openess, humility, and communication. All of which I'd want in a marriage anyway. If I didn't have a serious case of Wendy Syndrome caring for little lost art boys lol
@@voiceofrandomgirl I don’t think so .. I have dated a guy that could never get it right ..no matter what ..it was horrible ..the thing is everything else was perfect : no kids, never married, great career , home owner ..nice ..but I could not get pass the bad se c…it was horrible!….what would be your advice to that …great provider but extremely horrible in bed …what a girl supposed to do? Cheat ?
Men getting sexual too soon is the #1 biggest turn off to me. Smoking a a close 2nd. 😂 Honestly though my initial thought when men start right off with the bs I’m out! Complete flip of the switch. Because in my eyes it’s about another notch on the bedpost. Especially in today’s society!
Agree 💯 percent! It's obvious these types of "Low-Value Men" are used to getting what they want. And to use the excuse that they don't want to spend $$$ on women who "play" them is just ridiculous!!! 🙄👎
The problem is lack of communication on both ends and being truthful about each others intentions on the first date. Honesty is the key. Don’t try and mislead a woman. Be honest and truthful. Discuss on the phone or text email what you are looking for. If you only want sex just say it. If you want a relationship with sex and no commitment just say it. If you want a marriage but you are not having sex but are still sexually attracted to her but still respects her until she’s ready then LET HER KNOW!!!!! JUST SAY IT!!!
Don't go to any person house that your dating. Hangout outside the house. If the person is interested show it by actions and not sexually. Be honest in how you feel.
Yeah stopped having guys at my house a while ago. Now I'm dating a woman and we do hang out at home some times but never in the bedroom. I want a serious relationship...
@@norelle8705ify non negotiable. Do not sit alone in a car with a man, drive anywhere with him at all, or step through the door of his pad. The man has to earn even that. This is the only way. I stayed abstinent for a very long time. It was so painful. I think I had physical pain over it. I lived alone in the mountains. You can do it. The Holy Spirit enables it. Through Jesus. He will give you the power. 💪🏻
Mature individuals often prioritize emotional intimacy, mutual respect, and shared values over mere physical desires. In many cases, seeing relationships solely through the lens of physical attraction can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for meaningful connections. IMO
Its crazy how there are too many men acting like entitled to a woman’s body. If a man has the what can I get back in return then just be upfront. I can’t stand the ones who play games.
I have been in ALL of these scenarios!! On many occasions. Conclusion…pace yourself and get to know these men. I’ve gone on dates and paid for the meal, just to send the message, I’m good and we just hanging out. NOW some men have taken it wrong and f’d around and found out. It ALSO takes the pressure off of the situation. And I retain control. I know that sounds crazy but I do this with men that I’ve already friend zoned or men I know I’m not attracted too but are really nice. The ones that I like, they pay..lol! Call me crazy BUT I’m a reformed party girl/player and had my hay/hoe day. I dated the best of the best and the worst of the worst. I live by my late grandfathers words. Never rely on a man for your happiness. You have to be happy with self internally. At the end of the day the more honest you are in the beginning, the better the outcome. Thank you Stephen for this topic!!! lol!
@kokhotoms1620 That part. Many want it so soon because they are so used to getting it. There are many women out there that will give it up too easy. And that becomes the expectation. And when they meet a woman that wants to move slow, the men are looking at her like something wrong with her. smh.
It's BS to say women won't know you're interested because you didn't try to have sex with her. For centuries men and women didn't have premarital sex, how did the woman know the man was interested? Because he told her, courted her, brought her flowers, etc. It's not difficult, but romance seems to be a dead art. It doesn't have to be expensive. Pick her some flowers, send her a card, plan a picnic and make some sandwiches. Even if you actually try to get to know her, ask about her goals and what she's looking for in a partner, etc. That conveys to a woman that you're serious and interested. And if she only expects expensive dinners and gifts, she's either using you or shallow.
Why do we limit dates to having dinner? How about a walk in the park or visit an art museum or go see a concert? It's like the creativity of dating is dying.
Try the walk in the Park and see where it goes. Do you think the man who sees you as dream girl would take you to a park?? To walk like a dog. I've been once to a walk park with a coffee to go (7.11 coffee) and at a point we sat at a bench and he was talking about his ttavelings and plans until we saw a girl looking like an instagram model taking photos by the lake. He was é comfortable already with the chat that he said "see that girl? It would take at least 1 million dollars to marry her'. Look, he never talked to this girl, he never never get to knew her but he already knows how much he needs to spend in order to have her but now he doesn't have that money so he will 'date' girls who are willing to go for walks in the park. And i had a guy confessing he tested me with the 'coffee date'. Which means he invites for coffee but arrives first and orders and pays for his own coffee. I get there and sit and order my own coffee and act Normally. After this he invites me for a meal because 'i passed the test' and next he is throwing a tantrum and throwing his belt on the floor because im not taking him to my dorm (scary). The coffee test/walk test is to check if the woman has low boundaries or is interested enough to accept a walk or pay for her own coffee. In their minds it means the woman is very attracted that's why she agreed to stay without any benefit. And im not talking about a guy who's spending his time because he was at just visiting his grandpas. When a guy asks you for a coffee/walk he just wants to know how fuck able you are. He gets plenty of these low costx free.99 dates.
@@redleeks6253 It seems to me the first few dates should be very casual like walks, coffee etc. Then if the person shows attraction/potential then dinner, dancing etc.
Now I see why a lot of women end up giving up. If both sides are in for the fun then who cares but for some of us sex can’t just happen without any sign of effort/commitment.
I was the one that moved fast.. I was married 45 years saved myself. I was so busy with business’s, I’m widowed now and let me tell you I can’t get enough.. I’m 73 and my wonderful man is 66 thinking older women don’t have sex. He said “was I wrong”🤣🤣🤣
@@threecats1605 hi there,I just wanted to take a moment of yourto thank you for sharing, I m sooo happy to hear of how U & you’re partner have found beautiful love for each other in later years🥰adorable🤭
Men need to understand that women need time for attraction to come online. We’re biologically sexually selective. I went out with a handful of men last year (wasn’t intimate) and didn’t feel any attraction for any of them. I would not have felt comfortable being intimate. I was open and willing to see if the attraction could come online, but men usually aren’t if you’re not willing to sleep with them.
Men should not be using going too fast as an excuse based on their fear of being used. Cross that bridge when you notice the red flags that a woman is using you by releasing that person. Very simple.
Right! Here’s a wild idea-maybe instead of trying to escalate physically, they could try being honest and telling you if they like you?!?! You know, use words. Is that too much to ask for?! 😭 I’ve been brave and expressed my feelings before. I would love to find someone willing to do the same.
People need to express there feeling and what they need in a relationship. Having sex clouds your judgment, you need to get to know the person and connect.
I can agree, although sometimes males need to know u approached her… she may not connect with you on the date…. Males are not checking for women who are serious… Their going for an easy lay type of chick… the males role the dice to see if she will F for a meal…
While I agree its not an excuse for going too fast. The men may end up being used over and over and over, if not by one single person then in total, before they can discover each time. And I understand not simply not being fine with that total loss. The responsibility for not using men for free stuff, is primarily on the women. Maybe it would be ideal in genereal if the men actually didnt pay for the first couple dates, but if hes gonna "provide" actually makes sure there is some connection and seemingly genuine interest, at the very least. I think that would inderectly benefit not only the men, but the women, who dont have to deal with men that have for the most part already gotten jaded and resentful, overly suspicious about being exploited again. I can also fully understand the men in this equation. I actually think dating culture needs to change, to start on fair premises where its harder for BOTH parts to just exploit the other, without even putting much effort
@zakosist There a men whom use women for "free stuff". So I cannot really agree with what you are saying. Dates don't always "require" for anyone to pay anything. For example going for a walk in the park and etc. However in such a date that will cost..a man should be able to prove that he can be able to handle the expense. They don't of course should always necessarily have to, but if he is trying to manifest a stable, serious relationship then it just should not be a problem, or else just accept being alone. If a woman has to pay for things in such a way while having a man around, then she may as well be alone.
The men I've went on date with ended up being sexual way too soon. It doesn't mean I didn't want to be intimate with them, but the early sexual intimacy ended up damaging or stunting the development of the relationship and detached me emotionally from them.
Make a move but be respectful about it, know how and learn to read you date, get it into your head gentlemen that making a move doesn't have to mean sex. Try learning to court, kiss, talk, touch ,,cuddles , etc. If you're interested seriously you will benefit from talking and taking it slow in the long run. It's worth it.
I’m not paying for anything and I don’t have premarital sex and get marriage proposals often. True I’ve been married twice without having sex first and it didn’t work out but I have no regrets and no shame. I did not sin. Stop giving yourself to men. Stop sinning because it ages you much faster. I’m 50 and people think I’m 28! Worship God. Stay out of men’s beds!
That's not necessarily how that happened. People married young people in their small towns 50 years ago. They married young and or shot gun weddings due to hidden pregnancy. People don't marry at 15 or 16 anymore unless you're white trash. So you live under a rock? 😂
One thing I think men should consider is that women spend a LOT to look good in general, to feel good and attract you in the first place, AND to provide you with a top version of ourselves when you take us out. Ladies, I know you have my back here. Hair, nails/toes, all the the ongoing regular maintenance, the new money suck: lashes , clothes in general and possibly a new outfit for the date. Maybe a babysitter if you’re a mom. It adds up to wayyyyyy more than dinner! You guys need to be aware of that and stop feeling that women OWE you something in return. We are giving it on the front end. Respect that, appreciate that, compliment that, and you will be well on your way to feeling appreciated in return. Show masculine romantic behavior and reap the rewards! 💋
So you’re going to stop doing all of this for yourself if a man isn’t involved?? It’s not like we have to buy this stuff new everytime we go on a date. It last for multiple uses and occasions, far longer than a one time $100 dinner. This is not a valid excuse And if you can’t afford a babysitter once in a while, don’t date. It’s not his kid or his responsibility to take care of or even offer up something you made a choice about long before he stepped on the scene.
@@wkpo4107 I don’t disagree with you. Great points. But we should spend more money on quality food and gym memberships we use rather than fake eyelashes and hair dye.
@@vanessabeckett5614 You also make good points….good points everyone. It’s all true at the same time. That is a paradox. Not a contradiction. Look up the word. It’s my favorite word.
@@CarmenPerez-kz6rw I think many of us do, and I agree on lashes. I should have added gym, yoga and Pilates sessions. My bad. But I’m still going to get highlights! ;)
He should have chosen better. If he got used for food, he should have chosen better. He should have taken the time to vet her and get to know her. A few PROBING and SUBSTANTIVE questions would have let him know of the mindset and level of interest of the woman. There are PLENTY of date ideas that don’t cost much of anything, if anything at all. Effort and creativity, would make money irrelevant. Many women would actually prefer an activity or event over a dinner. The men should vet, and not be lazy and unimaginative.
Food is something I can even buy for a girlfriend for free. Who is raising these kinds of men. Sheesh so mannerless and lacking in class. Ladies standards work
I get it, but they have to feed me, too.☺️To take pressure off the guy's finances if I sense he's "challenged that way," I let him know I only eat plant based meals, but I have to go to the bathroom. Then I ask him if he could please order for me. (I figure if he is the real deal, we could always build more wealth together)☀️
I actually think its wrong to put the main blame on the one who got tricked, and not the one who did the tricking. Some people can be good at lying and faking. Some people simply are better or worse than others at reading people, not always something you can fix if youre not naturally good at it. Especially if youre autistic. And while the man may cut contact once he discovers that particular woman is exloiting him, that exlpoitation could be something that happens over and over and over with different women. And it does matter, the total loss is a lot. And while a genuine connection can be valuable, a such connection is not there, only has a potential to happen in the early dating stages, and was never there when there was exploitation. Of course it does NOT mean he is entitled to sex, as that is something each person must always be able to choose with their own bodies. And they may not be directly equal. But exploitation from both sides matter.
True, we question his sexuality and even think he's weak. Sexual chemistry has no time frame. You can wait a year and it doesn't work out or you can hit it on the first night and end up married. There's no formula, for each his own!
You also didn’t answer the question. The question was why is sex the first expectation on a date? Why are so many men pursuing this and not a relationship? Why are so many men focused on sex and not simply having a good time with the women they go out with?
Tips for men : Why trying to have sex to soon to show that u are interested guys?? How about being affectionate, romantic, kisses and cuddles (out of the room of course ) that will definitely show that you are into women and also are a quality guy 😺😽💘
Agree, but that would be "High-value" Man behavior. The type of guys being talked about on this video are just guys with zero integrity or moral standards... No thanks!!
Most men are just to focused on SEX not even thinking about the dangers ,lots of STDs out there it's sad to see how carefree they can be come on fellas be choosy now!!! i admire a choosy guy😆
Add to the list, using your words, let her know with words that you’re interested in her and want to know what she feels about you too. Don’t just try to guess. Ask her.
I had a guy that was upset when I said I wanted to go "Dutch" on our dates because he knew he wouldn't be able to manipulate me with the "I paid for your meals" foolishness. He actually said "I guess I'm not going to get the goodies so no need to keep seeibg each other". Definitely dodged a bullet with that one.
In an ideal world - people would communicate their intentions. However, our culture is mostly self-seeking. Men will not tell a woman - "I am just dating for sex, so come to my house." Or "I will buy you this expensive meal because I expect sex afterwards." Men know if they communicate their true intentions, most women will decline the invite. So, they manipulate to get what they want.
Don’t go on dates expecting anything, let alone anything in return. You’re going on dates to find a connection. Go on small dates, like coffee shops. If she wants more than that, then you have your answer.
All women/men are not the same, but communication is VERY IMPORTANT!!! You can communicate that you are interested in a relationship and/or don't want to be friend zoned, etc. without sex having to be the only way.
For the first 2 minutes of this I was angry but it makes sense later. Although “some men” are the key words here. I find it really off putting for men to use “dates” to get sex and women to use “dates” to use men for free meals 😢 dating, should be spent with the intent to genuinely get to know the other persons wants, needs & goals etc..
One thing not being said in these examples is that the men did not clearly communicate. Teach men to use their words! A man who can’t effectively communicate is not an attractive potential mate. The burden should not be on the woman for some men’s lack of basic communication skills.
If he's really interested in you he'll respect your boundaries. You can just tell him. Hey I'm interested in you. Can we see if we have a connection in an emotional and outgoing way first.
Men and women are so different that we need to be clear about what's going to happen from the start. Men don't believe it sometimes, but when women say no, they mean it. It's a big turn-off when a man doesn't understand that and doesn't keep his hands to himself. Most women will let you know when they're ready.
I think reason number 5 is sex has been his most familiar path to intimacy in general-not just physical intimacy. And this is true for some men and women. This is the only way they know how to “break the ice” to connection.
He Doesn’t want to get played. Well they play with women. And abt the free meal. I don’t think women are asking for a free meal. They are the ones that choose to men don’t want to put effort in nothing now a days
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I think that is just an excuse that "Low-Value Men" use who are not even looking for a relationship, just what they can get for as low of an investment as possible! 👎👎
There's no fear in love, perfect love casts out fear because fear comes with punishment. If a man is fearful of being used for money, dinner, or more, his wanting to have sex too soon is simply an act of lust, not love, it is just a lustful way to validate the fear of being used, because with most men who aren't in love yet, once sex is exchanged for validation of not being used, the man is no longer fearful of being used, but may not be as interested in that particular woman anymore once he has sex with her, because it wasn't love, it was lust, because there's no fear in love. When a man truly loves a woman he doesn't need sex to validate his time spent with her or his money spent on her, without fear of being used or hurt and feeling like he's going to be punished for being a good man to the right woman. When it's the right woman she'll only want to do you good all the days of your life and never harm you in any way. Sex is fun, God created sex for our pleasure, but if it's used the wrong way and for the wrong reasons it can blow up in our faces, and even be physically dangerous to our health when used casually. Sex in a relationship is great fun, and it should be, but relationships without marriage usually don't last. So if people want different results, they'll have to do something different to get better results. Abstaining from sex until marriage can invigorate, stimulate, energize, amp up, spike, jump start, and fire up a deep passion and desire to be with that one person, because you know that you can trust that person, without fear of loving them because you've gotten to know each other without sexual lust blurring your mind from seeing and knowing who they are. I enjoy having sex, but if I'm not in a trustworthy, lasting relationship, I keep my cookies in my cookie jar, and the thing I'm doing differently for better results is allowing my future husband to open my cookie jar only. People can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results.
Forgot to add this. I recently went to stay with a friend that I’ve known for over 25 yrs during a hurricane. I had not seen or talked to him in over a year. We have always been attracted to each other and get along great! Day 1 he says do you want to cuddle? I said No. Day 2 he asked again. I finally said, you know that I like you but my head is not there. I am worried whether or not I will have a place to live when I return home…smh…I flat out told him, you got friends you are screwing around with, so until I’m ready, call one of them…LMAO!! 😂😂😂😂. I know I am crazy y’all!!
Dating rules are not the same as courtship rules not the same as engagement rules not the same as marriage rules...Unhealthy women and men will always try to put marriage things into dating area due to unresolved childhood trauma and not understanding or living in environment with emotionally mature humans.
No 3 I have to say works both ways. If a woman makes the first move guys sometimes say no and still feel some type of way especially when a woman tries to respect them wanting to wait. Some can be fickle and flip the script. Yet don’t understand when a woman decides after all that then she wants to wait. Men wanting to have sex so soon is part of the reason I haven’t had sex in years especially those using the strong attraction as an excuse. I’m older and wiser so I don’t fall for that anymore. They just want sex.
Where I come from words are used to communicate with people and express what you want or don’t want. Additionally, sex is for married people. This is part of the reasons why we have so many children raised by single parents, abortions etc. The purpose for dating is to get to know a person. Why would anyone take someone on an expensive date early on? Perhaps go on more expensive dates after you learn more about them and wouldn’t mind spending more money at that time.
If I am supposed to go dutch, I can stay home by myself and cook… The way people start off is normally how they finish. I’m am too old to play those games. ✌🏾
Another reason you forgot to mention: he was never looking for anything serious in the first place. But also, these reasons are good to help gain some understanding and maybe not always jugde right away. If he made a move too early, I think it also greatly depends on hiw willingness to take a step back and wait for you to be comfortable and know each other better, if you werent ready right away. But if he still tries to push it to move forward quickly, better leave.
I like the part you said its confusing, the fact that we're different people also makes the view and perspective of situations different. Sound teachings like this should help change people's orientation for the better though. Thank you Stephan.
Before I even listen to all of this video, I know one of the reasons might be not setting boundaries and giving out the wrong message at times. I know this because there are men who don't approach me like that and there are some who do because sometimes I don't communicate the right things. 🙈
No really, excuse me! If he misunderstands, he can try GENTLY. But if she is hesitant, he should stop. Or AT LEAST make sure that she is okay. It doesn't seem he liked her that much anyway. If you like so the most important thing should be to know that they are happy, which includes being happy with the situation and happy with you. And at the end of the day there is also verbal communication if people are so confused all the time.
I do think that closing the gap between knowing if both are interested is just to have an honest conversation. We assume too quickly through actions without knowing what's going on in each other's thoughts...
The initial no is always the answer, and for good reason. When men keep trying, it's annoying, but some women don't know how to say no or how to stop it.
Involved with my partner for 14 years, yet he’s always speaking sexual with me- about me. Yes, it’s a plus that he’s still into me but why talk sexual EVERY CONVERSATION and touchy feelly it’s nerve wrecking.. is this normal? Please reply
For me I am too kind to pat on the back, or looking too long into a man's eyes & smile, I compliment left, right & center. It's just part of my nature - but I will be trying to do that less.
People need to stop viewing other people as if they were objects to be used. People are not things to use. Be honest & clear about what you want up front. Nobody owes you anything. A date is not a bartering agreement. A date is two people agreeing to spend time together from a mutual interest to see if there's a higher level of interest to pursue a relationship. Guys shouldn't expect a woman to give them sex because you spent some money - if that's what you want, then there's a pro for that who expects payment; go hire them. Ladies shouldn't expect a man they're really not initially interested in to spend money on them. If you're bored, go for a walk or something. Don't treat a man like he's something to be used. Remember how you feel when/if it happens to you, because that's how guys feel too. Gotta stop teaching boys that women are conquests & your measure of manliness is in how many notches you can mark on your bedpost.
A man shouldn’t feel used if he takes a woman out. A man shouldn’t be out looking for just s.e.x. He can make a move but slowly, like the old 1st base, then 2nd base scenario. That way, they get to know each other. A man should date to find partnership, otherwise, leave women alone because it will make you appear to be just a predator of women.
It’s never ok to give something only because you expect something in return. Either do this because you want to or don’t do it. This expectation show a lack of values and character.
Great video, some new perspective about men’s behavior in those early days of dating! I also feel like a lot of men who do this are the same that will tell you not to let your past experiences with other men affect this new potential relationship. Pretty hypocritical, and to some degree all of our current behaviors are colored by our experiences!
100%. they don’t want you to treat them like past guys but will treat you as if you’re their exes. smh. they want a chance and the benefit of the doubt but don’t give you that.
Get used for money vs body will never be the same amount in my eyes. It’s comparing and object with value that is separate of you vs something that is the make of you aka your body; it should be a temple and respected. When men attempt to use you for your body it’s worse then just being used in the act of them getting what they want and running off, they destroy the very thing that was meant to be sacred.. and then the aftermath is worse then just losing a few dollars.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Stephan, I hope I am not asking too much, can you make a content all about “how should a woman tell a good man to wait until the right time before having sex”…. I don’t want to say it the wrong way, I would like to learn it from a man’s perspective. 🙏
I get that. I have gone out bc I was bored. I don't play the guys tho. I usually let them know the outcome before we even go out. A friend is a friend, no sex. Just chilling, if that isn't what he wants I don't go out with him. Playing games or just playing someone is not me. I don't want to get played, so I don't play them
It's possible to go round in circles about men wanting sex quickly, but the basis of it is that they are focusing only on what they want and seeing if they can push the woman into sex as quickly as possible. They don't see her as a human being, just as a walking v*gina. They seem to think that if they go on pawing a woman she's bound to say yes, even after she's made it plain she's not interested.
Her time is an equivalent to his investment friend.. our time to procreate cannot be earned by working more hours. Women get the short end of the stick anyway you look at it. Either we give it up to soon and he dips, or we hold out and he dips. So since men hold the power of a relationship all we have is our chastity to ensure we won’t be run through. Periodt.
The whole "making a move" is a very slippery slope. Some men interpret making moves as being sexually aggressive and that can be very off-putting to a woman. A man can make the proverbial move on a woman that does not involve any vulgar language or lascivious behavior.
God built men to deal with rejection when a woman that he is interested in doesn’t feel the same. Men are built to continue to shoot their shot until he finds the one. Men just need to man up to how God built them.
The American culture is way too fast. People sleeping together within the first month is a no no in many other cultures especially with women over 40. The issue with the examples you gave is that there was not enough verbal communication on what each person was expecting out of the relationship. They were just trying to read body language. Especially with Christian women, we have to let the men know up front what we are about and if they can't wait, then they are free to go
The last 2 men I went out with both went on and on about how they wanted a Christian woman after telling them I wanted to wait to get to know them better before having sex (even though we did kiss) they both cut me off. So sad that even the "Godly men" are just looking to have sex. Ladies look out for yourselves and protect your hearts!
There r ways ppl show romantic interest without diving into sex. Open communication and taking time in getting to know ppl is key. These reasons are ridiculous lol
Yes that happens too. Not attempting is definitely a sign for me. I let them know if I'm interested bf they tell me. I don't think he has to make a move just show interest
1 Corinthians 7 KJV - King James Version It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
@ange2122 God forgave me of all my sins when I asked him to come into my life. You don't need to give me scripture. I am a widow. Been there and done it.
@@loisclark1883 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 in the Bible states: "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God"
My goodness !!! am laughing but its serious going into his bedroom to watch TV ?? I will excuse any man making a move come on girl 😄 and considering to the way she was dressed at this time Stephan this was awesome
"Do you feel that men are just a bunch of horny bastards?" Best opening ever😂😂😂
lol 😂😁
Oh yeah😊
🎉a 😅🎉ze😊@@MeetStephanSpeaks
I never noticed. 😂
Sometimes the women are horny ones
Women are not dating men to be treated like prostitutes, a man should never expect sex in exchange for a meal, that's just pathetic I'm afraid. It's a sad world we are living in.
Jesus fed 5000 people for free... these men want sex after just one plate of meal.😂😅🤣😂😁😆.... I think 1st date should be at a park at least there is no expenses.
Exactly but unfortunately too many women have condition men to behave like this so when they meet someone with sense they do not understand why we have the stance we have.
Women are the ones responsible for allowing this behavior for so long. Sad truth.
💯💯
This is a KEY REASON why I've completely stopped dating men anymore. I'm going on 3 years strong now and no man in my life because I do not want ANY part of these stupid problems or extra stress in my life. Hell, it's funny how men are suddenly complaining about BEING USED. For decades, women have been being used for our bodies and men don't see anything wrong with that!! They are reaping what they sow. Good riddance to these street dogs. (And yes, when I say I'm committee to never dating men again, that automatically means being celibate without question!).
what happened to holding hands, kissing, making out? why does it have to be sex IMMEDIATELY (and sometimes aggressively) to show you they’re interested in you? what happened to expressing sexual or romantic interest with words? why do the majority of men not know how to do this anymore? or know how to be romantic or express themselves romantically? it doesn’t have to be explicitly sexual and if it is, it doesn’t have to be disrespectful. i don’t understand what’s happened to humanity. why is it so hard for them to communicate or go to therapy to learn these skills and more importantly, HEAL and stop bleeding on and hurting so many women. gah. i’m so tired of this.
They do. I don’t know what kind of men you guys are experiencing. There are many great men out there!
@@CarmenPerez-kz6rw i’m sure some do but i haven’t encountered them yet. i know there are many great men out there! but im expressing my frustrating of talking to 30 year olds who are emotionally still 10 years old and don’t go to therapy because it’s not “logical” yet…they can’t commit and so many other issues i won’t get into.
I agree 💯💯💯💯💯
Because no romantic music! 😂
I really like this young man channel, I have to say this because it hit my spirit Adorable 🥰Stephan.The Human being has lost ways to LOVE!😢😮love is taking your time, love is getting to know 1/another, it’s a magical feeling that U don’t know why it TIES&BINDS😮Many people want things in a New York minute! all true feelings are gone music, pornography (🤢🤮woman who do this for$)TV adds all sexual No romanticism🥹The love aspect is doomed😞😢
Too many of them think “date” stands for d*ck at the end😂
lol this is true
@@flora91161 IKR
😂😂😂
SICK as HELL..
Our investment is our time spent with them. They really don’t value us at all if they haven’t figured this out.
Earlier this month, a man ghosted me after three months of a situationship. He did not want to go out on dates. He explained that he is a homebody, so we did things at his house, like watch T.V. and eat home-cooked meals.
After one month of dating, he asked me for sex. When I asked him to take an STD test, he refused. He explained that he prefers to use a condom.
Maybe that is why he ghosted me. I am so glad that I never slept with him. As a matter of fact, I should have been the one to ghost him after he refused to take the test.
You should have blocked him at house “dates”.
@@coachannaesqperiod. Should have never got that far to begin with.
@@coachannaesq You are right. I should have known better.
@@Jovialjay86 Now I know how to proceed with the next man who shows signs that he is not that into me.
U should have left the minute he invited u to his house
Set a boundary with them and you’ll soon see where you stand. They either... disappear for good....are genuine, wanting to get to know you and let things develop naturally or they disappear and circle back around after a few months like nothing happened. But, which ever happens, you have your dignity in tact and won’t regret it.
I totally agree.
🙌💯
Exactly 💯 percent! Women have to allow themselves to be used sexually by these "Low-Value Men" who have zero integrity or moral standards... No thanks!! 🙏❤✝️
1. When you sleep with him, he thinks you are too easy so he puts in less effort.
2. When you sleep with him, he thinks you are worth the investment.
WHICH ONE IS IT?!!😭😭😭
Men say number 2. But subconsciously it's number 1.
Most men will sleep with a woman who makes herself available to him without loving her. Patience and time without romance will expose a man's intention towards a woman.
Lol I interesting@@TammBiancx
@@TammBiancx True. It also depends what type of guy you're dealing with. Usually dusties will want the cookies way early because they have nothing to offer you. But wealthy men will put in the time and effort because a meal at a restaurant is nothing to him so he doesn't mind waiting for the cookie and earning it unlike dusties who don't believe in earning anything and are surprisingly more entitled than wealthy men, go figure.
My point exactly
The audacity of men expecting sex as showing ‘interest’. We already basically risk our lives being alone with them and spending money on our appearance. Maybe we need to bring back the Bridgerton days with chaperones to see how they like it 😂
🤭
I tell you!! The audacity is out of this world
This !
And what's crazy too many women are perverted for dressing to provocative, half naked in public when it's too many pedophiles that rapes or molested many innocent females
@@jibarabicha4853 I really hate to say it, but it's women becoming more available to them sexually that changed their expectations over time.
They don’t want to invest emotion just want the physical and that’s it
In many cases this is true
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I see it a lot and it’s hard to know how to break the barriers down.
Yes. The guy I’m seeing doesn’t expose himself at all. He’s a “gentleman”. Wants to do anything I want to do, can follow me in conversation on things I really care about, but it doesn’t take me into really feeling close with him. We’re still on the friend level. We can only go deeper when he goes deeper. But he is walled up, I can feel the wall. And if I sense that, there is no way I can be physically intimate with you, cause WHO is this person with me. Sure you’re trying hard to impress me, but you ain’t giving me anything I can feel, something that will open my heart towards you romantically
Often as a women I feel the way to break the walls is the physical intimacy but is that really the case for men. Sex is supposed to be the glue that holds you but surely it can only do that if you both are fully invested together in every way
@@CatherineHart.hh3vwthat is not the case for many ppl. Sex is an act. The reasons for the act vary. Some place more emphasis on the engagement than others.
No sex before marriage is the best thing ever 🙌
Can’t disagree with that
I’m on the fence with that one ..bc what if it’s wack s ec…would if he is terrible in bed ..I need to know before I commit my life …
@@Strawberryfreeze3000 sex is a skill. It can be learned with patience, openess, humility, and communication. All of which I'd want in a marriage anyway. If I didn't have a serious case of Wendy Syndrome caring for little lost art boys lol
@@voiceofrandomgirl I don’t think so .. I have dated a guy that could never get it right ..no matter what ..it was horrible ..the thing is everything else was perfect : no kids, never married, great career , home owner ..nice ..but I could not get pass the bad se c…it was horrible!….what would be your advice to that …great provider but extremely horrible in bed …what a girl supposed to do? Cheat ?
Fact
If a man is that worried about paying for a meal, he needs to just save his pennies, pay a hooker, and stop the bull$hit.
Exactly
He wouldn't be able to afford a hooker😂
💯
I agree 100%
Men getting sexual too soon is the #1 biggest turn off to me. Smoking a a close 2nd. 😂
Honestly though my initial thought when men start right off with the bs I’m out! Complete flip of the switch. Because in my eyes it’s about another notch on the bedpost. Especially in today’s society!
Big turn off im out too i start dodging and eventually they go away 😂
Agree 💯 percent! It's obvious these types of "Low-Value Men" are used to getting what they want. And to use the excuse that they don't want to spend $$$ on women who "play" them is just ridiculous!!! 🙄👎
The problem is lack of communication on both ends and being truthful about each others intentions on the first date. Honesty is the key. Don’t try and mislead a woman. Be honest and truthful. Discuss on the phone or text email what you are looking for. If you only want sex just say it. If you want a relationship with sex and no commitment just say it. If you want a marriage but you are not having sex but are still sexually attracted to her but still respects her until she’s ready then LET HER KNOW!!!!! JUST SAY IT!!!
The problem is also women with low moral standards and lacking self worth who allow these type of Low-Value Men to use them sexually! 🙄👎
Couldn't agree with you more...some men are pathological liers...
EXACTLY! Was literally about to say this. Honestly and communication will eliminate all of those games.
Just sayyyyyyyy itttttt gosh mann I'm tired
More so I'd I have created a safe place to come out and say it address Fear or issues etc that help us to come to understand or a closure
Don't go to any person house that your dating. Hangout outside the house. If the person is interested show it by actions and not sexually. Be honest in how you feel.
Yeah stopped having guys at my house a while ago. Now I'm dating a woman and we do hang out at home some times but never in the bedroom. I want a serious relationship...
I’m not giving it up for a plate!
@@norelle8705ify non negotiable. Do not sit alone in a car with a man, drive anywhere with him at all, or step through the door of his pad. The man has to earn even that. This is the only way. I stayed abstinent for a very long time. It was so painful. I think I had physical pain over it. I lived alone in the mountains. You can do it. The Holy Spirit enables it. Through Jesus. He will give you the power. 💪🏻
Period.
I know that's right.☀️
Rightttt, I can feed myself….!!!
Especially when we can pay for our own stuff 😂 I have an higher salary than 80% of the guys I dated. But I don't date men anymore. Glad I'm bi. Dang
Mature individuals often prioritize emotional intimacy, mutual respect, and shared values over mere physical desires. In many cases, seeing relationships solely through the lens of physical attraction can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for meaningful connections. IMO
Exactly...and good ole fashioned community
I . interested in continuing to get to know you. I. Dating you... courting you etc
💯
If he can’t afford dinner, he can’t afford to date.
💯
And definitely not sex!
Its crazy how there are too many men acting like entitled to a woman’s body. If a man has the what can I get back in return then just be upfront. I can’t stand the ones who play games.
And these are the same men that will label you a hoe when they get you in the sheets early
Nothing to do with affording. Why assume it's the man's duty to pay? Sounds like sexist entitlement to me.
This is true! That's why we have to get back into TEACHING RELATIONSHIPS CORRECTLY like you.
Yes indeed 🙏
😊
I have been in ALL of these scenarios!! On many occasions. Conclusion…pace yourself and get to know these men. I’ve gone on dates and paid for the meal, just to send the message, I’m good and we just hanging out. NOW some men have taken it wrong and f’d around and found out. It ALSO takes the pressure off of the situation. And I retain control. I know that sounds crazy but I do this with men that I’ve already friend zoned or men I know I’m not attracted too but are really nice. The ones that I like, they pay..lol!
Call me crazy BUT I’m a reformed party girl/player and had my hay/hoe day. I dated the best of the best and the worst of the worst. I live by my late grandfathers words. Never rely on a man for your happiness. You have to be happy with self internally. At the end of the day the more honest you are in the beginning, the better the outcome. Thank you Stephen for this topic!!! lol!
Women give signals like sitting closer, smiling and touching that indicate interest. Intelligent men pick up on and respond to these signals.
Exactly
But again smiling and touching never is a clear indication that u
want sex
It’s important to note that both men and women need to use their words and talk about their interest in each other.
You have it wrong...Sex is used to avoid emotional intimacy...
In some cases true but not only
For some this is true, but there is more to it for others
I think that they are just spoiled, to use to eating dessert or sweets before dinner and nutrition. No discipline for what is better for them.
@kokhotoms1620 That part. Many want it so soon because they are so used to getting it. There are many women out there that will give it up too easy. And that becomes the expectation. And when they meet a woman that wants to move slow, the men are looking at her like something wrong with her. smh.
Not having sex is a HUGE red flag. It means "im not attracted to you, you are not my type, i wouldn't touch you even for CPR"
It's BS to say women won't know you're interested because you didn't try to have sex with her. For centuries men and women didn't have premarital sex, how did the woman know the man was interested? Because he told her, courted her, brought her flowers, etc. It's not difficult, but romance seems to be a dead art. It doesn't have to be expensive. Pick her some flowers, send her a card, plan a picnic and make some sandwiches. Even if you actually try to get to know her, ask about her goals and what she's looking for in a partner, etc. That conveys to a woman that you're serious and interested. And if she only expects expensive dinners and gifts, she's either using you or shallow.
Why do we limit dates to having dinner? How about a walk in the park or visit an art museum or go see a concert? It's like the creativity of dating is dying.
@Natesha I agree.
Try the walk in the Park and see where it goes. Do you think the man who sees you as dream girl would take you to a park?? To walk like a dog.
I've been once to a walk park with a coffee to go (7.11 coffee) and at a point we sat at a bench and he was talking about his ttavelings and plans until we saw a girl looking like an instagram model taking photos by the lake. He was é comfortable already with the chat that he said "see that girl? It would take at least 1 million dollars to marry her'.
Look, he never talked to this girl, he never never get to knew her but he already knows how much he needs to spend in order to have her but now he doesn't have that money so he will 'date' girls who are willing to go for walks in the park.
And i had a guy confessing he tested me with the 'coffee date'. Which means he invites for coffee but arrives first and orders and pays for his own coffee. I get there and sit and order my own coffee and act Normally. After this he invites me for a meal because 'i passed the test' and next he is throwing a tantrum and throwing his belt on the floor because im not taking him to my dorm (scary).
The coffee test/walk test is to check if the woman has low boundaries or is interested enough to accept a walk or pay for her own coffee. In their minds it means the woman is very attracted that's why she agreed to stay without any benefit. And im not talking about a guy who's spending his time because he was at just visiting his grandpas.
When a guy asks you for a coffee/walk he just wants to know how fuck able you are. He gets plenty of these low costx free.99 dates.
@@redleeks6253 FACTS ! I’m not getting off work to go on a walk around date tf 😂
@@redleeks6253 It seems to me the first few dates should be very casual like walks, coffee etc. Then if the person shows attraction/potential then dinner, dancing etc.
Now I see why a lot of women end up giving up. If both sides are in for the fun then who cares but for some of us sex can’t just happen without any sign of effort/commitment.
I was the one that moved fast.. I was married 45 years saved myself. I was so busy with business’s, I’m widowed now and let me tell you I can’t get enough.. I’m 73 and my wonderful man is 66 thinking older women don’t have sex. He said “was I wrong”🤣🤣🤣
Beautiful. I love hearing it
Ha ha 🤣🤣 woman power turn up that heat keep him busy
@@threecats1605 hi there,I just wanted to take a moment of yourto thank you for sharing, I m sooo happy to hear of how U & you’re partner have found beautiful love for each other in later years🥰adorable🤭
I'm 81, but only want my special man...
Men need to understand that women need time for attraction to come online. We’re biologically sexually selective. I went out with a handful of men last year (wasn’t intimate) and didn’t feel any attraction for any of them. I would not have felt comfortable being intimate. I was open and willing to see if the attraction could come online, but men usually aren’t if you’re not willing to sleep with them.
Those are "Low-Value Men" who usually aren't looking for a long-term relationship in the first place. 🙄👎
Men should not be using going too fast as an excuse based on their fear of being used. Cross that bridge when you notice the red flags that a woman is using you by releasing that person. Very simple.
Right! Here’s a wild idea-maybe instead of trying to escalate physically, they could try being honest and telling you if they like you?!?! You know, use words. Is that too much to ask for?! 😭 I’ve been brave and expressed my feelings before. I would love to find someone willing to do the same.
People need to express there feeling and what they need in a relationship. Having sex clouds your judgment, you need to get to know the person and connect.
I can agree, although sometimes males need to know u approached her… she may not connect with you on the date….
Males are not checking for women who are serious…
Their going for an easy lay type of chick… the males role the dice to see if she will F for a meal…
While I agree its not an excuse for going too fast. The men may end up being used over and over and over, if not by one single person then in total, before they can discover each time. And I understand not simply not being fine with that total loss. The responsibility for not using men for free stuff, is primarily on the women. Maybe it would be ideal in genereal if the men actually didnt pay for the first couple dates, but if hes gonna "provide" actually makes sure there is some connection and seemingly genuine interest, at the very least. I think that would inderectly benefit not only the men, but the women, who dont have to deal with men that have for the most part already gotten jaded and resentful, overly suspicious about being exploited again. I can also fully understand the men in this equation. I actually think dating culture needs to change, to start on fair premises where its harder for BOTH parts to just exploit the other, without even putting much effort
@zakosist There a men whom use women for "free stuff". So I cannot really agree with what you are saying. Dates don't always "require" for anyone to pay anything. For example going for a walk in the park and etc.
However in such a date that will cost..a man should be able to prove that he can be able to handle the expense. They don't of course should always necessarily have to, but if he is trying to manifest a stable, serious relationship then it just should not be a problem, or else just accept being alone. If a woman has to pay for things in such a way while having a man around, then she may as well be alone.
The men I've went on date with ended up being sexual way too soon. It doesn't mean I didn't want to be intimate with them, but the early sexual intimacy ended up damaging or stunting the development of the relationship and detached me emotionally from them.
Make a move but be respectful about it, know how and learn to read you date, get it into your head gentlemen that making a move doesn't have to mean sex. Try learning to court, kiss, talk, touch ,,cuddles , etc. If you're interested seriously you will benefit from talking and taking it slow in the long run. It's worth it.
I’m not paying for anything and I don’t have premarital sex and get marriage proposals often. True I’ve been married twice without having sex first and it didn’t work out but I have no regrets and no shame. I did not sin. Stop giving yourself to men. Stop sinning because it ages you much faster. I’m 50 and people think I’m 28! Worship God. Stay out of men’s beds!
Amen xxx
Facts
All great advice! Glad to know there are still women with Godly principles and moral values in this corrupt culture! Be blessed! 🙏❤✝️
Thank you 🙏🏾 ❤
Great advice.
Some women can feel trapped and terrified to say No when alone or in unfamiliar territory with a man.
Very true don’t put yourself in that position.
@carmolina like the example he made, some traps are unforeseeable.
What happen to the way dating used to be??????? Date for years without sex!!!!!!! In order to get to know the person better…..
Culture has rejected God & made ALL of this crap acceptable that's why. 🙏❤✝️
Theese were the times when men was real men
theese days they are a flock of horny bastards 😅😅😅😅
That's not necessarily how that happened. People married young people in their small towns 50 years ago. They married young and or shot gun weddings due to hidden pregnancy. People don't marry at 15 or 16 anymore unless you're white trash. So you live under a rock? 😂
One thing I think men should consider is that women spend a LOT to look good in general, to feel good and attract you in the first place, AND to provide you with a top version of ourselves when you take us out. Ladies, I know you have my back here. Hair, nails/toes, all the the ongoing regular maintenance, the new money suck: lashes , clothes in general and possibly a new outfit for the date. Maybe a babysitter if you’re a mom. It adds up to wayyyyyy more than dinner! You guys need to be aware of that and stop feeling that women OWE you something in return. We are giving it on the front end. Respect that, appreciate that, compliment that, and you will be well on your way to feeling appreciated in return. Show masculine romantic behavior and reap the rewards! 💋
@@wkpo4107 yeah but they also feel we owe them adherence to the beauty standards anyway so I don't know that we can get sympathy for that lol
So you’re going to stop doing all of this for yourself if a man isn’t involved?? It’s not like we have to buy this stuff new everytime we go on a date. It last for multiple uses and occasions, far longer than a one time $100 dinner.
This is not a valid excuse
And if you can’t afford a babysitter once in a while, don’t date. It’s not his kid or his responsibility to take care of or even offer up something you made a choice about long before he stepped on the scene.
@@wkpo4107 I don’t disagree with you. Great points. But we should spend more money on quality food and gym memberships we use rather than fake eyelashes and hair dye.
@@vanessabeckett5614 You also make good points….good points everyone. It’s all true at the same time. That is a paradox. Not a contradiction. Look up the word. It’s my favorite word.
@@CarmenPerez-kz6rw I think many of us do, and I agree on lashes. I should have added gym, yoga and Pilates sessions. My bad. But I’m still going to get highlights! ;)
He should have chosen better. If he got used for food, he should have chosen better. He should have taken the time to vet her and get to know her. A few PROBING and SUBSTANTIVE questions would have let him know of the mindset and level of interest of the woman.
There are PLENTY of date ideas that don’t cost much of anything, if anything at all. Effort and creativity, would make money irrelevant. Many women would actually prefer an activity or event over a dinner. The men should vet, and not be lazy and unimaginative.
💯
Food is something I can even buy for a girlfriend for free. Who is raising these kinds of men. Sheesh so mannerless and lacking in class. Ladies standards work
I get it, but they have to feed me, too.☺️To take pressure off the guy's finances if I sense he's "challenged that way," I let him know I only eat plant based meals, but I have to go to the bathroom. Then I ask him if he could please order for me. (I figure if he is the real deal, we could always build more wealth together)☀️
I actually think its wrong to put the main blame on the one who got tricked, and not the one who did the tricking. Some people can be good at lying and faking. Some people simply are better or worse than others at reading people, not always something you can fix if youre not naturally good at it. Especially if youre autistic. And while the man may cut contact once he discovers that particular woman is exloiting him, that exlpoitation could be something that happens over and over and over with different women. And it does matter, the total loss is a lot. And while a genuine connection can be valuable, a such connection is not there, only has a potential to happen in the early dating stages, and was never there when there was exploitation. Of course it does NOT mean he is entitled to sex, as that is something each person must always be able to choose with their own bodies. And they may not be directly equal. But exploitation from both sides matter.
True, we question his sexuality and even think he's weak.
Sexual chemistry has no time frame. You can wait a year and it doesn't work out or you can hit it on the first night and end up married. There's no formula, for each his own!
You also didn’t answer the question. The question was why is sex the first expectation on a date? Why are so many men pursuing this and not a relationship? Why are so many men focused on sex and not simply having a good time with the women they go out with?
Yes. I totally agree.
It's so crazy. I'm dealing with this right now and had to set some boundaries. This video has so much clarity!❤
I’m glad it was helpful to you
Good for you for setting boundaries and having self respect! 🙏👍
Tips for men : Why trying to have sex to soon to show that u are interested guys?? How about being affectionate, romantic, kisses and cuddles (out of the room of course ) that will definitely show that you are into women and also are a quality guy 😺😽💘
Bloop! 👍💯🤔🤷👌🥂💝🎉🥳
Agree, but that would be "High-value" Man behavior. The type of guys being talked about on this video are just guys with zero integrity or moral standards... No thanks!!
Most men are just to focused on SEX not even thinking about
the dangers ,lots of STDs out there
it's sad to see how carefree they can be
come on fellas be choosy now!!! i admire a choosy guy😆
Add to the list, using your words, let her know with words that you’re interested in her and want to know what she feels about you too. Don’t just try to guess. Ask her.
I had a guy that was upset when I said I wanted to go "Dutch" on our dates because he knew he wouldn't be able to manipulate me with the "I paid for your meals" foolishness. He actually said "I guess I'm not going to get the goodies so no need to keep seeibg each other". Definitely dodged a bullet with that one.
Glad that you talked about this topic, because I have experience this with Men.
You're welcome 🙏
Ya, Stephan basically exposed their "Sorry A**!" 😜🤣
I just don’t know how to have a relationship with a man anymore I don’t get them
Me neither
For real
It's tiring
@@jacsgxbxb so exhausting. I hear you
We're all confused right now.
Dang
If grown people just communicated their intentions, there would be no issues.
You can communicate. But sometimes they don't want to hear you.
In an ideal world - people would communicate their intentions. However, our culture is mostly self-seeking. Men will not tell a woman - "I am just dating for sex, so come to my house." Or "I will buy you this expensive meal because I expect sex afterwards." Men know if they communicate their true intentions, most women will decline the invite. So, they manipulate to get what they want.
Why the hell men always want sex and some haven,t even the average
tool to perform 😂 smh
This video /clip couldn’t be more important. I am so sick and tired of men jumping on me for a date
What I get here is just lack of communication. Just communicate for clarity..
What I get from this... Lack of moral values and boundaries!!
Don’t go on dates expecting anything, let alone anything in return. You’re going on dates to find a connection. Go on small dates, like coffee shops. If she wants more than that, then you have your answer.
@@raygunbobcat or like okay, we'll have a meal but it's a picnic :)
All women/men are not the same, but communication is VERY IMPORTANT!!! You can communicate that you are interested in a relationship and/or don't want to be friend zoned, etc. without sex having to be the only way.
For the first 2 minutes of this I was angry but it makes sense later. Although “some men” are the key words here. I find it really off putting for men to use “dates” to get sex and women to use “dates” to use men for free meals 😢 dating, should be spent with the intent to genuinely get to know the other persons wants, needs & goals etc..
One thing not being said in these examples is that the men did not clearly communicate. Teach men to use their words! A man who can’t effectively communicate is not an attractive potential mate. The burden should not be on the woman for some men’s lack of basic communication skills.
If he's really interested in you he'll respect your boundaries. You can just tell him. Hey I'm interested in you. Can we see if we have a connection in an emotional and outgoing way first.
Men and women are so different that we need to be clear about what's going to happen from the start. Men don't believe it sometimes, but when women say no, they mean it. It's a big turn-off when a man doesn't understand that and doesn't keep his hands to himself. Most women will let you know when they're ready.
These are all valid points and makes perfect sense. Thank you for this video!!! ❤
Women get used too..
Absolutely!
They get used way more than men get used.
Women (and men) have to allow themselves to be used, right?? 😉😉
@@mukaniwatkins2598 *"You Teach People How To Treat You !"* ~Dr. Phil 💡💡💡
@@4EverGr8ful1 Not really..Sometimes it happens when trying to trust someone.
I think reason number 5 is sex has been his most familiar path to intimacy in general-not just physical intimacy. And this is true for some men and women. This is the only way they know how to “break the ice” to connection.
He Doesn’t want to get played. Well they play with women. And abt the free meal. I don’t think women are asking for a free meal. They are the ones that choose to men don’t want to put effort in nothing now a days
Not all men play women, and not all women play men. But both sides have fears of getting played
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I think that is just an excuse that "Low-Value Men" use who are not even looking for a relationship, just what they can get for as low of an investment as possible! 👎👎
I've been played so many times, I'm exhausted and scared to death
Oh, they're not asking for free meals but they are expecting it. As a woman, they are definitely doing this. You'd be surprised.
Your comment at the beginning had me roll’n 😂
Great video 💯
lol 😂 I’m glad you enjoyed it
There's no fear in love, perfect love casts out fear because fear comes with punishment.
If a man is fearful of being used for money, dinner, or more, his wanting to have sex too soon is simply an act of lust, not love, it is just a lustful way to validate the fear of being used, because with most men who aren't in love yet, once sex is exchanged for validation of not being used, the man is no longer fearful of being used, but may not be as interested in that particular woman anymore once he has sex with her, because it wasn't love, it was lust, because there's no fear in love.
When a man truly loves a woman he doesn't need sex to validate his time spent with her or his money spent on her, without fear of being used or hurt and feeling like he's going to be punished for being a good man to the right woman. When it's the right woman she'll only want to do you good all the days of your life and never harm you in any way.
Sex is fun, God created sex for our pleasure, but if it's used the wrong way and for the wrong reasons it can blow up in our faces, and even be physically dangerous to our health when used casually.
Sex in a relationship is great fun, and it should be, but relationships without marriage usually don't last. So if people want different results, they'll have to do something different to get better results. Abstaining from sex until marriage can invigorate, stimulate, energize, amp up, spike, jump start, and fire up a deep passion and desire to be with that one person, because you know that you can trust that person, without fear of loving them because you've gotten to know each other without sexual lust blurring your mind from seeing and knowing who they are.
I enjoy having sex, but if I'm not in a trustworthy, lasting relationship, I keep my cookies in my cookie jar, and the thing I'm doing differently for better results is allowing my future husband to open my cookie jar only. People can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results.
Forgot to add this. I recently went to stay with a friend that I’ve known for over 25 yrs during a hurricane. I had not seen or talked to him in over a year. We have always been attracted to each other and get along great!
Day 1 he says do you want to cuddle? I said No. Day 2 he asked again. I finally said, you know that I like you but my head is not there. I am worried whether or not I will have a place to live when I return home…smh…I flat out told him, you got friends you are screwing around with, so until I’m ready, call one of them…LMAO!! 😂😂😂😂. I know I am crazy y’all!!
Dating rules are not the same as courtship rules not the same as engagement rules not the same as marriage rules...Unhealthy women and men will always try to put marriage things into dating area due to unresolved childhood trauma and not understanding or living in environment with emotionally mature humans.
No 3 I have to say works both ways. If a woman makes the first move guys sometimes say no and still feel some type of way especially when a woman tries to respect them wanting to wait. Some can be fickle and flip the script. Yet don’t understand when a woman decides after all that then she wants to wait. Men wanting to have sex so soon is part of the reason I haven’t had sex in years especially those using the strong attraction as an excuse. I’m older and wiser so I don’t fall for that anymore. They just want sex.
Where I come from words are used to communicate with people and express what you want or don’t want. Additionally, sex is for married people. This is part of the reasons why we have so many children raised by single parents, abortions etc. The purpose for dating is to get to know a person. Why would anyone take someone on an expensive date early on? Perhaps go on more expensive dates after you learn more about them and wouldn’t mind spending more money at that time.
🙏
@@twin719 yessss
❤
Important video for the people keep it up Stephan !
Thank you! I will. 🙏
If I am supposed to go dutch, I can stay home by myself and cook…
The way people start off is normally how they finish. I’m am too old to play those games. ✌🏾
Meeting a man for a meal is to get to know them as potential partners not to get a free meal.
Im not spreading my Margarine TILL MARRIAGE 😂❤
lol that’s the first time I’ve heard it referred to as that 😂
I was thinking the same thing! I think that is her personal preference!😄🤦🏽♀️@@MeetStephanSpeaks
Come on now! MARGARINE!🤮 I am sure there's a much more delightful type of spread out there...😄
Margarine just sent me 😂😭💀
Excellent comment!! Someone asked me if I was single, yes, why because He hasn't found me yet😂 He said good answer. God did it
A lot of things are misconstrued because it was not communicated beforehand and that's what people need to understand as well.
I love your videos!
Thanks for another perspective. Makes total sense❤️❤️❤️
Facts 💯women are natural givers anyway and it’s a lot of work for a “free meal “
Sex is not an investment. Your explanation is just proof of how misled some men are.
Our sick, Godless culture has sadly reinforced this idea!
Another reason you forgot to mention: he was never looking for anything serious in the first place. But also, these reasons are good to help gain some understanding and maybe not always jugde right away. If he made a move too early, I think it also greatly depends on hiw willingness to take a step back and wait for you to be comfortable and know each other better, if you werent ready right away. But if he still tries to push it to move forward quickly, better leave.
I like the part you said its confusing, the fact that we're different people also makes the view and perspective of situations different.
Sound teachings like this should help change people's orientation for the better though.
Thank you Stephan.
Thanks for sharing 🙏
Before I even listen to all of this video, I know one of the reasons might be not setting boundaries and giving out the wrong message at times. I know this because there are men who don't approach me like that and there are some who do because sometimes I don't communicate the right things. 🙈
Pound for Pound 😂😂😂😂 Pun intended?
Lol 🙏
@joyricherson4570 😂 I was waiting for him to say, "Not that kind of pound. Get your mind out of the gutter."
@@JStig12 😂😂😂😂😂
No really, excuse me! If he misunderstands, he can try GENTLY. But if she is hesitant, he should stop. Or AT LEAST make sure that she is okay. It doesn't seem he liked her that much anyway. If you like so the most important thing should be to know that they are happy, which includes being happy with the situation and happy with you. And at the end of the day there is also verbal communication if people are so confused all the time.
I do think that closing the gap between knowing if both are interested is just to have an honest conversation. We assume too quickly through actions without knowing what's going on in each other's thoughts...
The initial no is always the answer, and for good reason. When men keep trying, it's annoying, but some women don't know how to say no or how to stop it.
Involved with my partner for 14 years, yet he’s always speaking sexual with me- about me. Yes, it’s a plus that he’s still into me but why talk sexual EVERY CONVERSATION and touchy feelly it’s nerve wrecking.. is this normal? Please reply
Not it is not normal it is annoying as hell! I’m dealing with this now and I have just stop talking the the guy
Men don't have to make a move, but tell her how he feels and what is wrong with using words.
It’s so funny because for us it’s the opposite, we feel when a man wants sex that this is all he wants
For me I am too kind to pat on the back, or looking too long into a man's eyes & smile, I compliment left, right & center. It's just part of my nature - but I will be trying to do that less.
People need to stop viewing other people as if they were objects to be used. People are not things to use. Be honest & clear about what you want up front. Nobody owes you anything. A date is not a bartering agreement. A date is two people agreeing to spend time together from a mutual interest to see if there's a higher level of interest to pursue a relationship. Guys shouldn't expect a woman to give them sex because you spent some money - if that's what you want, then there's a pro for that who expects payment; go hire them. Ladies shouldn't expect a man they're really not initially interested in to spend money on them. If you're bored, go for a walk or something. Don't treat a man like he's something to be used. Remember how you feel when/if it happens to you, because that's how guys feel too. Gotta stop teaching boys that women are conquests & your measure of manliness is in how many notches you can mark on your bedpost.
Well said... Kudos! 🙏👍
A man shouldn’t feel used if he takes a woman out. A man shouldn’t be out looking for just s.e.x. He can make a move but slowly, like the old 1st base, then 2nd base scenario. That way, they get to know each other. A man should date to find partnership, otherwise, leave women alone because it will make you appear to be just a predator of women.
It’s never ok to give something only because you expect something in return. Either do this because you want to or don’t do it. This expectation show a lack of values and character.
Great video, some new perspective about men’s behavior in those early days of dating!
I also feel like a lot of men who do this are the same that will tell you not to let your past experiences with other men affect this new potential relationship. Pretty hypocritical, and to some degree all of our current behaviors are colored by our experiences!
100%. they don’t want you to treat them like past guys but will treat you as if you’re their exes. smh. they want a chance and the benefit of the doubt but don’t give you that.
Get used for money vs body will never be the same amount in my eyes. It’s comparing and object with value that is separate of you vs something that is the make of you aka your body; it should be a temple and respected. When men attempt to use you for your body it’s worse then just being used in the act of them getting what they want and running off, they destroy the very thing that was meant to be sacred.. and then the aftermath is worse then just losing a few dollars.
Hi I love your content. I’ve been following you for quite some time ❤️
Thank you so much, I appreciate your support
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Stephan, I hope I am not asking too much, can you make a content all about “how should a woman tell a good man to wait until the right time before having sex”…. I don’t want to say it the wrong way, I would like to learn it from a man’s perspective. 🙏
I get that. I have gone out bc I was bored. I don't play the guys tho. I usually let them know the outcome before we even go out. A friend is a friend, no sex. Just chilling, if that isn't what he wants I don't go out with him. Playing games or just playing someone is not me. I don't want to get played, so I don't play them
It's possible to go round in circles about men wanting sex quickly, but the basis of it is that they are focusing only on what they want and seeing if they can push the woman into sex as quickly as possible. They don't see her as a human being, just as a walking v*gina. They seem to think that if they go on pawing a woman she's bound to say yes, even after she's made it plain she's not interested.
Her time is an equivalent to his investment friend.. our time to procreate cannot be earned by working more hours. Women get the short end of the stick anyway you look at it. Either we give it up to soon and he dips, or we hold out and he dips. So since men hold the power of a relationship all we have is our chastity to ensure we won’t be run through.
Periodt.
You can tell the woman you are interested but want to take it slow. You don't have to show your interest by wanting to have sex.
Some men want sex to soon become it's all he wants but he wants to hold back love and expect a woman to understand that. No and No
No marriage, no sex
Amen! 🙏❤✝️
The whole "making a move" is a very slippery slope. Some men interpret making moves as being sexually aggressive and that can be very off-putting to a woman. A man can make the proverbial move on a woman that does not involve any vulgar language or lascivious behavior.
Your laughs be making me smile in between your videos 😂
I’m glad to hear that 🙂
God built men to deal with rejection when a woman that he is interested in doesn’t feel the same. Men are built to continue to shoot their shot until he finds the one. Men just need to man up to how God built them.
The American culture is way too fast. People sleeping together within the first month is a no no in many other cultures especially with women over 40. The issue with the examples you gave is that there was not enough verbal communication on what each person was expecting out of the relationship. They were just trying to read body language. Especially with Christian women, we have to let the men know up front what we are about and if they can't wait, then they are free to go
Amen! 🙏❤✝️
The last 2 men I went out with both went on and on about how they wanted a Christian woman after telling them I wanted to wait to get to know them better before having sex (even though we did kiss) they both cut me off. So sad that even the "Godly men" are just looking to have sex. Ladies look out for yourselves and protect your hearts!
There r ways ppl show romantic interest without diving into sex. Open communication and taking time in getting to know ppl is key. These reasons are ridiculous lol
They clearly aren't "Reasons," they are EXCUSES used by Low-Value Men to get what they want... Yuck!! 🤢👎
Yes that happens too. Not attempting is definitely a sign for me. I let them know if I'm interested bf they tell me. I don't think he has to make a move just show interest
It is true that you should not be in a man's bedroom if you don't expect something to happen... that I agree with
That high level attraction is still chemistry. Especially when you can't keep your hands away from each other.
1 Corinthians 7 KJV - King James Version
It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
@ange2122 God forgave me of all my sins when I asked him to come into my life. You don't need to give me scripture. I am a widow. Been there and done it.
@@loisclark1883 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 in the Bible states:
"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God"
@@loisclark1883 Hebrews 12:6-7 KJV - For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth
@loisclark1883 (Hebrews12:6-7 KJV-For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth)
It’s normal for a man to try or make an attempt or a move towards a lady, it’s now less for her to decline or accept it
Thank you for your feedback
My goodness !!! am laughing but its serious going into his bedroom
to watch TV ?? I will excuse any man making a move come on girl 😄 and considering to the way she was dressed at this time
Stephan this was awesome
Thank you for your opinion 🙏
Poor judgement at it's finest... Some women!! 🙄💡