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This is SO important!! If you happen to run into a minister who tells you to call your family and tell them you forgive them. RUN AWAY!! DON'T GO NEAR THAT CHURCH OR HIM/HER. There's nothing wrong with forgiving, but forgiving someone in a way the leaves you vulnorable to more abuse is not what you need or want, as it can open a door to more destruction. Personal experience with that is what destroyed everything good in my life.
Luckily my family has decided to go no contact with me too. I told them how everything they did made me feel and now almost all of them are leaving me alone! I wish I had done this YEARS ago!!!
Thanks 🙏 for sharing. This weekend is my sister’s 60th birthday party 🥳 and I was not invited. I live in CAMARILLO, CA so it was probably best I stay close to my house and go deeper spiritually.
Definitely a mistake reconnect especially knowing what we'd gone through to get here, such a pain if sis calls leaving nasty messages, embarrassing too as others hear it!
I'm sorry btw that they didn't give you the clarity u should have or say sorry even for what they did to u cos u deserve that but will never get it from narcasstic people
I think the reason why I have maintained no contact between my mother and siblings for 5 years is because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of their toxic patterns. It took decades for me to understand that our family contradictions will never ever be sorted out
My mental health has been the best it’s ever been since going no contact with my parents. I have confidence, strength, inner peace, and I actually love myself for the first time in my life. If you’re contemplating it, do it!! best decision you’ll make.
Me too. I've been no contact since 2016 and it's like a black cloud has been lifted off my life. These narcissistic scum wanted to keep me down for life. I went no contact with them when I joined the US Army when I was 18 years-old. I got into contact with them in my early 20's. I went no contact with my mother when I was 22 years-old, but not my narc father. I should have went no contact with my narc father since he was still in contact with my narc mother after they divorced. I didn't go no contact with him until I was 35 years-old. Best decision ever. My father was divorced 3 times and got into fights with all his friends. I was one of the few people in his life that he could project all his crap onto.
I have come full circle and, after 3 years of No Contact, I slowly have brought my parents back in to a Very Low, Long Distance contact situation. What I cayevto say here is that the thought that pushed me over the hump into blissful no comms was: After all these YEARS in this NarcAb Recovery space, I have yet to read ONE SINGLE comment saying they regret going no contact. It made all the difference. Now I know me...
But we get to routinely sleep with the enemy and some of us were EVEN lucky enough to be born of Narcs!!! SO we get nice and indoctrinated before we are even BORN!!
Once I truly understood what and who my mother is and was evil it became an easy choice. I reviewed my history w/her and huge times in my life when I should have had my mother’s support, instead I received stabs in the back again and again. It took till age 59 to understand what I was dealing w/in her and realizing how she undercut and destroyed relationships. Including my children and that was the straw that broke the camels back. I have not physically seen her in 3 yrs and when she calls I gray rock and all my answers are “fine”. I could actively be dying and my response would be “fine”. For years, my grief was over not being able to figure out and heal our relationship, losing the mother/dgt relationship . Once I understood and accepted she’s pure evil, the grieving stopped and I was able to move forward. I think once you get to the point of truly understanding your family would prefer you dead vs alive, the grieving will be over. Best of luck🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Yes...the grief is hard.. But as each day goes by i feel comforted that I did not lose anything real. I lost what was my perception of something which was so hollow but I had filled it up with happy imaginations...
I’ve seen my father 2 times in the last 15 years or so. Life has been good, I’m no longer angry and I’ve moved on. I have less than zero desire to reconnect
@@rwdchannel2901 I’m in my 50’s and learned to let go of what happened to me, how my father treated every member of our family. I no longer require him to feed, cloth and provide a place for me to sleep. There would be no abuse from him. I would simply shut him down right then and there. He does call maybe once a year and we chat briefly, the call usually ends because I never have much to say. He tries to apologize but whatever, I don’t acknowledge his apology with even a grunt. He will never again be more than just someone I know
@@rwdchannel2901 Here is a sample of his mental abuse…… I was about 10 years old. He came home one day with a big pencil eraser, I don’t know if they are still around but it’s basically a brick of rubber. He threw it at me and said “Because that’s what you are”. I looked at the eraser and read what it said…For those big mistakes Imagine saying that to a 10 year old
Wild horses couldn't drag me back to a reconnection with my parents. I've learned my final lesson, at the age of 50. It's been exactly 1-year for PERMANENTLY going no-contact. A death couldn't even bring me back.
I will always mourn that I never got the relationship with my parents that kids need and deserve. I can say, though, that I regret the times I tried to reconnect.
My mourning or grieving became less once I started realising what i actually lost was very little. My head was filled with excuses I made for my family as there was no real concern for my safety and well being. So in reality I hardly lost anything....
I would like to add that they usually don’t change with time. Years ago I moved out of state to get away from the same two people I’m still having issues with. After years of being away I thought well we are all getting older maybe they matured and I was going over their house etc and nothing changed. At all. Not YEARS later ! So now that I really learned the hard way I know what to do
I have way too much proof of this if any one wants to hear more!! Spent years revisiting the same old ground,- 20, 30 years?? going sober?? No CHANGE EVER!!
You are not alone there are many is us like you who must work harder at self love and internalize OuR truths about us and let go of their ‘TRUTHS’ about us
This hits so close to where I am! I went no contact for the sake of my own sanity, but as in times past, I always end up feeling the need to reconnect. Not this time! I'm approaching it as my sobriety from toxic narcissistic family members. If I "use" or have contact with them I will only harm myself. I have to keep my boundaries and protect myself because no one else will
I went no contact with my covert father 30 yrs ago. I have spent the past 9 yrs trying to figure out what happened to me. He is now on hospice and the pressure from ignorant family memebers is intense. Thanks to this video, i am staying away. He does not deserve my attention, nor am i interested in being blamed for everything once again. There is no way he has changed.
Omg my older overt coke head sis prohibited from calling matriarch, even written out of the will, says via answering machine she'll do a wellness check on me as I don't visit covert malignant mom dying at nursing home 2 provinces away (I've airline passes), well that's a while back and I'm sure if she called anyone they'd of thought poor me what a nut job!
I went no contact from my narcissistic mother years ago. Then she phoned me out of the clear blue, acted like nothing had ever happened only to inform me she's having health issues and needed my support. (She's was 90 and I'm 70). It's been a year and i have very serious health issues of my own which of course doesn't concern her at all. She started crossing boundaries with me so i haven't talked with her for several weeks now because it was definitely affecting me negatively. I feel relieved but am afraid she's going to try to draw me back in at some point and I'm fighting this "she's 91 years old and after all did give birth to me" obligation/guilt trip thing.
Thankfully am old enough and Thankfully Wise enough to know having no contact with the people who Hurt me is Beneficial for my Own well being and my mental health, i ceased contact with my so called parents and siblings 6 years ago and I Truly Wish I could of done it many many years ago, am 61 years young and the scars of my childhood are deep really deep and the memories of what I endured as a child is what gives me the strength to Never go back, i have my own Beautiful family with my Children and Grandchildren Now and the Happiness we share together is Priceless and that's what keeps me strong and focused, Being Loved and Showing Love is a Gift that we should All Treasure,
There is a lot of meat in what you say.. For me it is about getting the family dysfunction out of me.. When you talk about getting a good support system, learning what a good support system is is vital.. Alanon talked about getting a Sponsor and that it was not a marriage so you can always get a different one.. As I started getting healthier I started picking healthier people to be around.. For me when I finally said NO to my family the main thing for me was to hold my boundary and not give in.. My support group said that my family will finally give in and they did NOT.. My family went no contact with me.. For me NO is HUGE.. It is not about saying no to everything but if people do not respect my NO then they are NOT healthy.. Keep up the great work..
It's easier to resist breaking no contact when narcissistic abuse victims realize their parents won't even change because there's nothing there to save. Why show up for another round of abuse? I don't need to go to dinner with my narcissistic parents to hear some insults. I'd rather eat dinner at home in peace. Since my parents are in their 70's and 80's, I know they're never changing. I would say anyone over 40 years-old who acts highly narcissistic is a lost cause that's not worth trying to fix.
The very thought of fuzzy or forgotten memories is horrifying, no matter the trauma attached to it. We need to fight to retain the continuity of our lives so we can understand and live with our reality in order to avoid the possibility of unknowingly falling into future trauma because our abusers feel they have a way around any repercussions. Never forget.
On point #1-brain starts fading out the bad and remembering the good-it is also like substance abuse…the morning after you hurt and dump out all your bottles, then later, you remember only the high, then get into the cycle again.
With the Christmas time coming soon... this video is a blessing. Thank you for posting this. I was going soft again until I've read my diaries from the time I used to spend holidays with my family.
My family was a real sick mess, with my mother at the helm and my father going along with her. I got insults, punishments over nothing, and rage if I questioned any of it. The last straw was that my uncle gave my mother a key to his house when he was in the hospital. The next time he went in, she scoured his house to find his will. Talk about a lack of bounderies. She found out I was his sole heir. She then proceeded to badger me to give part of his belongings and money to my sister, who had cut me off more than 20 years earlier. I was going overseas that August, 2006, and when I left, I left them all behind me forever. I never once looked back. Years of insults and rages and things I haven't even brought up here were over at last. I never once looked back. Nor was I ever tempted to reconnect in any way. Peace at last. With the craziness far behind me. Forever.
We went no contact with my husband's family over a year ago and hubby never even asks to call them.... he once told me that he's fine with not talking to them anymore. After 35 years of his family and their toxic behavior we've come to appreciate the peace & quiet. Once we experienced a drama-free life, it's hard to imagine going back to chaos & hurt. Also, they haven't apologized for the damage they caused, nor have they shown ANY signs of change. Great video, thank you Jerry!
My parents are very narcissistic…I’ve been very low contact for about 6 months now…it’s much more peaceful. But they will not reach out to me…even on my birthday my mother did not call me.😢 it’s hard but it’s worth it.
Dear Jerry, your statements around 'not applying the expectations/RULES of 'normal/healthy' to a 'dysfunctional' family - really hit me today because it is something I've done all my life - because I am Autistic I live by rules, I have felt so much guilt, shame and so many emotions, because I thought there was something 'wrong' with me (taking on far too much blame for starters), because the Healthy Rules of Engagement with MY family didn't work because they were not healthy. Thankyou so much Jerry, you working miracles for me.
Jerry, 9 days ago I went no contact w my only child. He's 34. It's been the hardest week I've ever been through. Didn't sleep for 4 days. Cried in public. I'm a 66 year old man and I was crying in the checkout line at Safeway. However, this is also the best thing that has ever happened to me in all my life. I know because I can feel it. I can see myself out there in the distance now and I'm closing in fast. Looks like I will get a few years with myself before it's my time. I was in a toxic soup of narc. abuse and manipulation. He went too far and I finally saw it. Your videos have helped me thru this. And Dr. Carter as well
Please know that it gets easier-we went no contact with my 38 year old stepson in May. There is much to be said for ridding your life of these demons, and I do know how terribly hard it is but well, well worth it. 6 months later, my husband is singing and enjoying life more than he has in our entire 32 year marriage. They will NOT change. Our son lives next door, he lost his inheritance, he lost his father and he is bound to live the entire rest of his life with no familial connection. Blessings to you Angel.
I miss my son so much. I’m completely alone in the world now. My heart aches with a loneliness I didn’t think was survivable. I had to bury a son thirty years ago, but, at least that was final. This is just perpetual mourning, and the pain is inhuman. 😢💔
Some of the feelings of guilt comes from feeling better having gone no contact..I think it's linked to experiencing lots of guilt tripping from the toxic person😑
Right?! And in the last few minutes I'm thinking if I break the no contact because I feel guilty now on the other side will no doubt be more guilt AND shame. Ugh just thinking of the snarky "Oh you wouldn't know what's happened while you've been unavailable" comments.
Thank you sooo much! This is exactly what I am going through right now!!! Thank you for reminding me that I don’t have to feel guilty for putting myself first!!!
I keep a record of the BS my EP has flung my way, also written down the atrocious memories. I almost never even feel tempted to break NC. It's been years. It's an act of self-preservation for me and protecting my own family. It sucks having no parents but they have always been aholes so nothing ever changes.
Reasons like children in the extended family and relatives that are now facing the estate and caregiving battle. I feel for them. I’m going minimal contact. I’m not trying to increase visits. I use texting as a way to create space where the dysfunction is minimized and the fun stuff is shared. This teaches those that are interested in what I can offer without the reactivity. I care, but I can only do a few small things without getting too close.
I also have been using text as a way to communicate only bc my family uses group text a lot. I mostly do not comment at all on group text unless my name is mentioned with a question. It’s Been year and half low contact. I have not even seen my sis in that year and half and my mom I seen once I think. Maybe twice bc my nice sis would ask if she should invite her and she will pick mom up and take her home etc. but my mom doesn’t really try to reach out. I think she did just maybe 2-3 times but when I told her I am choosing to not really talk to those who have treated me unkindly my entire life so I’m done she got very quiet. I think she realized I was also saying “ you are one of those who have treated me horribly “. My mom knows exactly what she has done to me my entire life. But after I said that she had not tried calling or texting. I am finally at a place where I’m ok with this.
@ I don’t do group texts eother. Just one to one with one relative hoping it’s well received. Most of the rest of the family I try to get more distance. And mostly they don’t talk to me either. Like you I think they know I have boundaries.
Thank you Jerry ❤ your videos have resonated as I've went no contact recently from parents. I've stayed strong in my boundary and idk if I could've been as strong if I didn't have the knowledge. 💯
Great timing. My family is pressuring me to reach out to my mom, who I have been in email-only grey rock contact with for about 3 years. I will resist and reach out on Thanksgiving as I usually do.
Thank you Jerry! I told myself to wait because if it was OK then waiting a day wouldn't make a difference and then I was able to remember there is always a price to pay and this time it would be my peace. but the guilt. but the price is my peace... yup I think I'll be looping on this for a while.
It’s harder to go no contact with a grown child with children. I end up feeling guilty if the children don’t have things they need. ( always says send money ) but it never ends! In the meantime I hear gossip from rest of family about how awful I am. However, I have always tried my best. I have had no contact for 5 months and all was quiet, but now that the Holidays are here I received requests to fix the car and send money to buy Thanksgiving meals and the Christmas gifts that she picks out.
I am actually going through this right now. I have 3 older brothers and broke contact with them appx. 13 yrs ago. It has been interesting to say the least. It is apparent that they haven't changed. I may end up with a mixed withdrawal of no contact, interacting with one of them and not the 2 others. At least attempting to make contact with all 3 has let me know where each one of them are about the issue. Excellent timing for your video. -A sincere thank you. Kent
They don't change and if you show up they want you back in the place the family has assigned you. There's no point in going back unless you like to get insulted.
This is great, timely advice as my narc mother has been sent to hospital. Lots of family system expectation to visit despite detachment. Good to hear these... is it about me or them; who is it for; natural healthy rules for inhealthy toxic situation; drawn back into dysfunction; get proper support and validation. Thank you 🎉🎉🎉
День тому
Going no contact can help to identify specific toxic behavior. Whenever I broke nc, it became so clear where the toxicity was coming from. Especially after a 5 year break, I realized how happy, healthy, and successful I became, and when I spoke with the narc, it was painfully obvious they were abusive. They immediately tried to re-enter abusive patterns that were completely absent from my life.
I blocked my 2 sisters on fb. They can sms me,I don't take their phone calls at all if they ring. My volume is turned down unless I am expecting a call from a friend. I am very short and extremely polite but that's it. I have not disclosed my new address to any of my 5 siblings bc of the flying monkeys problem. It's better the don't know & I now have peace. If I see one sister out publicly, I'm friendly but keep it non personal..modified grey rocking. The other sister, I'm happy not to see or hear from at all. The panic attacks have stopped.
@@joeythebushkangaroo1 I totally understand and it can feel so overwhelming to see them, I didn't find any other way to be honest, I hope your life from now gets better and better
My mom just recently started a lot of her Antics even worse again to the point of telling me that I didn't even see her at a place and telling me that I'm crazy and I'm imagining things and accusing me of being a bad mother because I won't say I didn't see her there
This year brings the very last step after almost 20 years of no contact. My controlling sister in law found my new address on line and still sends their stupid family photo at xmas time which I always just tossed out and moved on. This year I will mark it REFUSED and return to sender. I always just ignore stuff and this year I am just making it CLEAR, crystal clear. NO further contact wanted, ever, no matter what. Not going to any funerals either. Good riddance to all the toxic mess.
My Dad sent me an abusive letter years ago, I carefully opened it,read it and marked it, RETURN TO SENDER,NOT FOUND AT THIS ADDRESS. My motto- if you can't beat them, confuse them! He then didn't know if I had read it or if I lived there either... confusion takes the wind out of a narc's sails.
It’s crazy to me you upload videos of exactly what I am struggling with recently. I can’t stop crying from this trauma. It feels like there’s no escape from this trauma from my narcissistic mother. I am considering going no contact with my family. Being around them makes me unhappy because it reminds me of the trauma. Being alone, I will most likely be very sad as well. Why do narcissists do this to us?
I don’t call them my family. I call those people my relatives. I can’t have my children near alcoholics, pot addicts and people with felonies and criminal records.
We can be literally ADDICTED. WITHDRAWAL lasts about a week of breaking waves of incomprehensibly terrible sorrow and anger and fear and grief (the something MELANGE...See The CRappy Chikdhood Fairy!! It's someone else's term... Basel VK...?? )BUT IF YOU STICK WITH IT...Things get miraculousky better. And you have tge added conviction if competence going firward - you will have done one of the hardest things a person can do!! So the rest ys easy, Right?? Well... No. But it gets better... If you stay- it will stay the same forever. You KNOW THAT!! SO..🤑🤑🤑
I been going strong with low contact 1 year and half now. It is hard. I have two family members that just aren’t nice. Mom and one sister. I I haven’t been to any family gatherings including holidays and I have no plans to do it anytime soon. There are a few things that make it easier for me tho. My sis never calls any of us anyways. She never visits either. Ever. Basically all of us only see her on holidays so she really only said something yo me maybe 1-2 times in group text. My mom I seen maybe twice since the low contact bc my other sis would ask if it’s ok she came as well. My one sis understands I am in very low contact with those two and she supports my decision. My one sis ( that I get along with very well ) is the golden child. I don’t think she fully understand why even tho I explained why. My nice sis has not been treated the way I’m treated with our mom although she had had her share of nastiness with other sis . My nice sis said we don’t really have any family so she still talks to them. I decided I will be there for them for emergency situations only. This will be easier to stay low contact soon bc I’m moving out of state to start my own business this spring. My mom doesn’t drive and my mean sis won’t bother to even call me anyways. It’s hard people but it gets easier with time
It's a lot harder showing up to holidays and your birthday party just to get insulted or pretend the relationship isn't toxic. No contact with these people who are toxic and won't ever change will be one of the best decisions you've ever made. It's better to be alone eating dinner in peace than eating dinner while getting insulted by people who are supposed to love you.
The problem is when i am not feeling well I loose control, I can not make the response that I want with controlled thinking… so the plan back fires me when I am not physically or mentally strong
Every time I begin to think about breaking no contact with my parents, something always come up that shows me I shouldn't, whether it's videos like this or whether it's someone in my personal life that may say something about them that would make me reconsider breaking the no contact. Then I begin to think about my parents being well up in age and having fewer yrs ahead of them. Do I really want to be in no contact or try to have some form of contact, then I remember why I'm no contact. So in the end, something has to give and I have to just except the fact that this is it and it is what it is. How it end is how it end. I just really miss my dad and that's what have me wanting to break the no contact. I couldn't careless if I ever talk to my mom again
My sister thinks her whole family are narcissists but she’s really the one with full blown narcissism. She went no contact with me bc I disagreed with her. My sister is also obsessed with “getting even”. If she decides you’re her enemy, she will play dirty. Crazy when you have a sibling that turned into a Karen 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏽♀️
What if the enabler (not so bad but so overwhelmed during decades) is ill or very old ? and you would like to see him ? to give him some peace and joy because he doesn't hate you and were the only one to protect you when you were young. Or at least, did his best ? Like an hostage in the hands of a narc family.
Isn't this more of a question of inner strength - i.e. you can only reconnect AND maintain yourself when having such strength. So the real question is: how and where do you get or grow such after the moment of realization of the narcissist framework
Yeah, I am still trying to decide if I should go full no contact with my narc. I told other family members about her, and they don't think that she loves me with the way that she treats me.
Has anyone wanted to break no contact to tell the Narc off, after researching this topic now for 20 years Narc Mothers flying Monkeys were launched at me once again. She is on her deathbed and still up to it. I’ve been considering to call her and tell her off and list all the reasons she’s a terrible person and why she should leave me alone. Partly to have my say and to be able stand up for myself. I innerstand she won’t hear my words and I’ll talk to a brick wall, yet I may feel better inside me. I was always so scared of her as a child, and now there is no fear. I’d love to hear different thoughts about this. Thanks so much! 🕉💜🕉
I want to ask you about your family so they can make you feel isolated and odd which doesn't make sense because if their family made them such wonderful people why aren't they asking you over to dinner or for the holidays or being careful of you why shine a big Spotlight on it and make you feel odd and that doesn't happen everywhere but it does in the state I'm in full of German base people in the Midwest
I have a question for you. I went no contact with my mom 8 years ago and she died last week. I never went back to contacting her but my husband kept my kids in touch with her. I don't have any feelings of guilt that I stayed no contact, but I am still wondering if that was the right decision? I was with her when she died but I am feeling much more about it than I expected. I knew she was getting sicker and now I wonder would it have been so bad for me to have talked to her.
The grief is hard because they're still, technically, alive, but we have to bury them, anyway. This is HARD because biology is NOT WORKING in our FAVOR!! And the BRAIN is also not supportive- IT Doesn't care if you're happy. Our BRAINS just care if we simply succeed @ continuing to breathe. Not a high bar😮😂 Our MINDS, our AWARENESS, our ability to DISCOVER, ASSESS and respond effectively from " The Sweet Spot of the INFINITE NOW," is where our saving Grace lies... Take a Breath before acting...❤ Urgency, a feeling of great pressure to act or say something, is a Trauma Reponse!! Don't do it!! 😂❤❤🎉
I am sorry that your childhood was such a pile of tumbleweed. I am learning what I can teach my three grandchildren to keep uppermost in their minds as they develop the skills to cope with their mother.
Just in time for the holidays, Jerry! 🫠 It is so tough remaining no contact while having to also keep moving forward and working on yourself. Most of the time I feel lost like I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing but it's helpful to have videos like these and supportive people around like my husband to help me stay the course. Thank you for everything you do Jerry. Happy Holiday's. God bless you. ❤
Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇
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This is SO important!! If you happen to run into a minister who tells you to call your family and tell them you forgive them. RUN AWAY!! DON'T GO NEAR THAT CHURCH OR HIM/HER. There's nothing wrong with forgiving, but forgiving someone in a way the leaves you vulnorable to more abuse is not what you need or want, as it can open a door to more destruction. Personal experience with that is what destroyed everything good in my life.
You're like Santa Claus for kids born in narcissistic families haha, thank you Jerry 🩵
Love this! So true ❤
Hahaha! He really is 😂
IKR??! Every Day is Christmas with his video gifts of HELP figuring out the path through this mess!!
The longer I’m away from them all the more I’m loving who I’m becoming. I wish I went no contact decades ago.
I notice that in myself too. I am around loving people for the first time who are showing me how healthy people behave.
Yeah its like getting rid of a poison.
Luckily my family has decided to go no contact with me too. I told them how everything they did made me feel and now almost all of them are leaving me alone! I wish I had done this YEARS ago!!!
I'm going through this now. It feels slightly psychotic and enraging, but also like a sick blessing.
Thanks 🙏 for sharing. This weekend is my sister’s 60th birthday party 🥳 and I was not invited. I live in CAMARILLO, CA so it was probably best I stay close to my house and go deeper spiritually.
Definitely a mistake reconnect especially knowing what we'd gone through to get here, such a pain if sis calls leaving nasty messages, embarrassing too as others hear it!
I'm sorry btw that they didn't give you the clarity u should have or say sorry even for what they did to u cos u deserve that but will never get it from narcasstic people
When you receive abandonment from a narcissistic person it's a compliment it means they are aware they can't manipulate you anymore
I think the reason why I have maintained no contact between my mother and siblings for 5 years is because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of their toxic patterns.
It took decades for me to understand that our family contradictions will never ever be sorted out
Very well said. I agree entirely.
We don’t put up with crap anymore from our families 👍
@KerrieWakeman great. Keep healing
My mental health has been the best it’s ever been since going no contact with my parents. I have confidence, strength, inner peace, and I actually love myself for the first time in my life. If you’re contemplating it, do it!! best decision you’ll make.
Me too. I've been no contact since 2016 and it's like a black cloud has been lifted off my life. These narcissistic scum wanted to keep me down for life. I went no contact with them when I joined the US Army when I was 18 years-old. I got into contact with them in my early 20's. I went no contact with my mother when I was 22 years-old, but not my narc father. I should have went no contact with my narc father since he was still in contact with my narc mother after they divorced. I didn't go no contact with him until I was 35 years-old. Best decision ever. My father was divorced 3 times and got into fights with all his friends. I was one of the few people in his life that he could project all his crap onto.
I’m just smiling as I read what you wrote. I love this it gives me hope 😊
Me too with everything you said. Going no contact is so freeing ❤
I have come full circle and, after 3 years of No Contact, I slowly have brought my parents back in to a Very Low, Long Distance contact situation.
What I cayevto say here is that the thought that pushed me over the hump into blissful no comms was: After all these YEARS in this NarcAb Recovery space, I have yet to read ONE SINGLE comment saying they regret going no contact. It made all the difference. Now I know me...
How long did it take you to heal? I’ve been no contact since July and I’m struggling.
Normally we don't live with or communicate with our enemies.
But we get to routinely sleep with the enemy and some of us were EVEN lucky enough to be born of Narcs!!! SO we get nice and indoctrinated before we are even BORN!!
The grief is really strong, too. It's not just the systems feelings. The grief is hard
Yes, that is normal too.
I'm with you on that 😢
I'm with you on that, too. Repressed memories came back in a flood. It's been very hard dealing with all of it.
Once I truly understood what and who my mother is and was evil it became an easy choice. I reviewed my history w/her and huge times in my life when I should have had my mother’s support, instead I received stabs in the back again and again. It took till age 59 to understand what I was dealing w/in her and realizing how she undercut and destroyed relationships. Including my children and that was the straw that broke the camels back.
I have not physically seen her in 3 yrs and when she calls I gray rock and all my answers are “fine”. I could actively be dying and my response would be “fine”.
For years, my grief was over not being able to figure out and heal our relationship, losing the mother/dgt relationship .
Once I understood and accepted she’s pure evil, the grieving stopped and I was able to move forward.
I think once you get to the point of truly understanding your family would prefer you dead vs alive, the grieving will be over.
Best of luck🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Yes...the grief is hard..
But as each day goes by i feel comforted that I did not lose anything real. I lost what was my perception of something which was so hollow but I had filled it up with happy imaginations...
I’ve seen my father 2 times in the last 15 years or so. Life has been good, I’m no longer angry and I’ve moved on. I have less than zero desire to reconnect
There's nothing to reconnect to unless you want another round of abuse.
@@rwdchannel2901 I’m in my 50’s and learned to let go of what happened to me, how my father treated every member of our family. I no longer require him to feed, cloth and provide a place for me to sleep. There would be no abuse from him. I would simply shut him down right then and there.
He does call maybe once a year and we chat briefly, the call usually ends because I never have much to say. He tries to apologize but whatever, I don’t acknowledge his apology with even a grunt. He will never again be more than just someone I know
@@rwdchannel2901 Here is a sample of his mental abuse……
I was about 10 years old. He came home one day with a big pencil eraser, I don’t know if they are still around but it’s basically a brick of rubber. He threw it at me and said “Because that’s what you are”. I looked at the eraser and read what it said…For those big mistakes
Imagine saying that to a 10 year old
Wild horses couldn't drag me back to a reconnection with my parents. I've learned my final lesson, at the age of 50. It's been exactly 1-year for PERMANENTLY going no-contact. A death couldn't even bring me back.
I will always mourn that I never got the relationship with my parents that kids need and deserve. I can say, though, that I regret the times I tried to reconnect.
For real 😊
yesss shows that any time spent with them is highly damaging
My mourning or grieving became less once I started realising what i actually lost was very little. My head was filled with excuses I made for my family as there was no real concern for my safety and well being. So in reality I hardly lost anything....
@ I understand you 🫂
I would like to add that they usually don’t change with time. Years ago I moved out of state to get away from the same two people I’m still having issues with. After years of being away I thought well we are all getting older maybe they matured and I was going over their house etc and nothing changed. At all. Not YEARS later ! So now that I really learned the hard way I know what to do
Yep, did all that. I am staying away, even now that he is apparently dying
@@ruthhamilton4882Stay strong!!
I have way too much proof of this if any one wants to hear more!! Spent years revisiting the same old ground,- 20, 30 years?? going sober?? No CHANGE EVER!!
@@sunnyadams5842they get worse even.😭
Unless people become aware they have issues and do work with themselves they Don t change
Usually, during the holidays, memories of family surface. It's hard. During this time, I remind myself of the truths & do some extra self care
You are not alone there are many is us like you who must work harder at self love and internalize OuR truths about us and let go of their ‘TRUTHS’ about us
This hits so close to where I am! I went no contact for the sake of my own sanity, but as in times past, I always end up feeling the need to reconnect. Not this time! I'm approaching it as my sobriety from toxic narcissistic family members. If I "use" or have contact with them I will only harm myself. I have to keep my boundaries and protect myself because no one else will
Annnnnd ya have to start AlL over again!!
It's truly, how you have described... we need to stay clean! Any slip ups and it always has negative consequences...
I went no contact with my covert father 30 yrs ago. I have spent the past 9 yrs trying to figure out what happened to me. He is now on hospice and the pressure from ignorant family memebers is intense. Thanks to this video, i am staying away. He does not deserve my attention, nor am i interested in being blamed for everything once again. There is no way he has changed.
Omg my older overt coke head sis prohibited from calling matriarch, even written out of the will, says via answering machine she'll do a wellness check on me as I don't visit covert malignant mom dying at nursing home 2 provinces away (I've airline passes), well that's a while back and I'm sure if she called anyone they'd of thought poor me what a nut job!
These monsters NEVER CHANGE. NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY!!
I went no contact from my narcissistic mother years ago. Then she phoned me out of the clear blue, acted like nothing had ever happened only to inform me she's having health issues and needed my support. (She's was 90 and I'm 70). It's been a year and i have very serious health issues of my own which of course doesn't concern her at all. She started crossing boundaries with me so i haven't talked with her for several weeks now because it was definitely affecting me negatively. I feel relieved but am afraid she's going to try to draw me back in at some point and I'm fighting this "she's 91 years old and after all did give birth to me" obligation/guilt trip thing.
Thankfully am old enough and Thankfully Wise enough to know having no contact with the people who Hurt me is Beneficial for my Own well being and my mental health, i ceased contact with my so called parents and siblings 6 years ago and I Truly Wish I could of done it many many years ago, am 61 years young and the scars of my childhood are deep really deep and the memories of what I endured as a child is what gives me the strength to Never go back, i have my own Beautiful family with my Children and Grandchildren Now and the Happiness we share together is Priceless and that's what keeps me strong and focused, Being Loved and Showing Love is a Gift that we should All Treasure,
2,000 miles worked great.
Agree.
There is a lot of meat in what you say.. For me it is about getting the family dysfunction out of me.. When you talk about getting a good support system, learning what a good support system is is vital.. Alanon talked about getting a Sponsor and that it was not a marriage so you can always get a different one.. As I started getting healthier I started picking healthier people to be around..
For me when I finally said NO to my family the main thing for me was to hold my boundary and not give in.. My support group said that my family will finally give in and they did NOT.. My family went no contact with me.. For me NO is HUGE.. It is not about saying no to everything but if people do not respect my NO then they are NOT healthy..
Keep up the great work..
It's easier to resist breaking no contact when narcissistic abuse victims realize their parents won't even change because there's nothing there to save. Why show up for another round of abuse? I don't need to go to dinner with my narcissistic parents to hear some insults. I'd rather eat dinner at home in peace. Since my parents are in their 70's and 80's, I know they're never changing. I would say anyone over 40 years-old who acts highly narcissistic is a lost cause that's not worth trying to fix.
So true, as minimum text with my dad as possible.
The very thought of fuzzy or forgotten memories is horrifying, no matter the trauma attached to it. We need to fight to retain the continuity of our lives so we can understand and live with our reality in order to avoid the possibility of unknowingly falling into future trauma because our abusers feel they have a way around any repercussions. Never forget.
On point #1-brain starts fading out the bad and remembering the good-it is also like substance abuse…the morning after you hurt and dump out all your bottles, then later, you remember only the high, then get into the cycle again.
Very helpful. I will not be going back, but I do struggle sometimes with the combination of guilt and anger I feel. Thank you, Jerry!
I have been dealing with systems feelings, not my own. Knowing that has relieved my anxiety and guilt! Thank you!
Self care self love
❤❤
I had strings. But now I'm free. There are no strings on me
Such a good video! Just what I needed to hear! Thank you!
With the Christmas time coming soon... this video is a blessing.
Thank you for posting this. I was going soft again until I've read my diaries from the time I used to spend holidays with my family.
My family was a real sick mess, with my mother at the helm and my father going along with her. I got insults, punishments over nothing, and rage if I questioned any of it. The last straw was that my uncle gave my mother a key to his house when he was in the hospital. The next time he went in, she scoured his house to find his will. Talk about a lack of bounderies. She found out I was his sole heir. She then proceeded to badger me to give part of his belongings and money to my sister, who had cut me off more than 20 years earlier.
I was going overseas that August, 2006, and when I left, I left them all behind me forever. I never once looked back. Years of insults and rages and things I haven't even brought up here were over at last. I never once looked back. Nor was I ever tempted to reconnect in any way. Peace at last. With the craziness far behind me. Forever.
We went no contact with my husband's family over a year ago and hubby never even asks to call them.... he once told me that he's fine with not talking to them anymore. After 35 years of his family and their toxic behavior we've come to appreciate the peace & quiet. Once we experienced a drama-free life, it's hard to imagine going back to chaos & hurt. Also, they haven't apologized for the damage they caused, nor have they shown ANY signs of change. Great video, thank you Jerry!
Jerry, fabulous video!! This information couldn’t have come at a better time! ❤️
My parents are very narcissistic…I’ve been very low contact for about 6 months now…it’s much more peaceful. But they will not reach out to me…even on my birthday my mother did not call me.😢 it’s hard but it’s worth it.
So painful, I'm working on it too
It's very tough my dear! Happy Birthday 🎁 to you for your next birthday 🎈 hope 🙏 all your dreams come true xx 🥰😊🫶
Happy birthday 🎂 always think you were more lonely before
When they show you who they are believe them - not the idealized fantasy you wanted
@@pam8056 I need to memorize your comment to help me get through no contact. My father is a covert narc, my mom an overt one. Together they’re lethal.
Dear Jerry, your statements around 'not applying the expectations/RULES of 'normal/healthy' to a 'dysfunctional' family - really hit me today because it is something I've done all my life - because I am Autistic I live by rules, I have felt so much guilt, shame and so many emotions, because I thought there was something 'wrong' with me (taking on far too much blame for starters), because the Healthy Rules of Engagement with MY family didn't work because they were not healthy. Thankyou so much Jerry, you working miracles for me.
This was so useful thank you and very timely, exact perspective I needed when I was starting to doubt myself.
Glad it was helpful!
Jerry, 9 days ago I went no contact w my only child. He's 34. It's been the hardest week I've ever been through. Didn't sleep for 4 days. Cried in public. I'm a 66 year old man and I was crying in the checkout line at Safeway.
However, this is also the best thing that has ever happened to me in all my life. I know because I can feel it. I can see myself out there in the distance now and I'm closing in fast. Looks like I will get a few years with myself before it's my time. I was in a toxic soup of narc. abuse and manipulation. He went too far and I finally saw it. Your videos have helped me thru this. And Dr. Carter as well
Please know that it gets easier-we went no contact with my 38 year old stepson in May. There is much to be said for ridding your life of these demons, and I do know how terribly hard it is but well, well worth it. 6 months later, my husband is singing and enjoying life more than he has in our entire 32 year marriage. They will NOT change. Our son lives next door, he lost his inheritance, he lost his father and he is bound to live the entire rest of his life with no familial connection. Blessings to you Angel.
@@Michelehoffman-q7c bless you.. thanks for the kind note here. Glad u guys are doing so well.
and yes, the demons are scattering 🙏
@@AngelWest58 any time, quite seriously. 🍃
~Was your wife also a narc? Did she manipulate him into being one too?
I miss my son so much. I’m completely alone in the world now. My heart aches with a loneliness I didn’t think was survivable. I had to bury a son thirty years ago, but, at least that was final. This is just perpetual mourning, and the pain is inhuman. 😢💔
Thank you Jerry. That was so helpful. Greetings from Germany
Glad it was helpful!
Some of the feelings of guilt comes from feeling better having gone no contact..I think it's linked to experiencing lots of guilt tripping from the toxic person😑
Right?! And in the last few minutes I'm thinking if I break the no contact because I feel guilty now on the other side will no doubt be more guilt AND shame. Ugh just thinking of the snarky "Oh you wouldn't know what's happened while you've been unavailable" comments.
@GenXHeart Exactly! A strong possibility of more guilt tripping
@@GenXHeart They’ll treat you worse if you go back. 😢
Thank you sooo much! This is exactly what I am going through right now!!! Thank you for reminding me that I don’t have to feel guilty for putting myself first!!!
Everything you mentioned have been my struggles, thank you Jerry ❤
Thanks for this. I'm loving me the way they don't love me. Healthy and authenticly.
Blessings to everyone 😊
Good to hear this 🌷
Thank you, Jerry 💜
I keep a record of the BS my EP has flung my way, also written down the atrocious memories. I almost never even feel tempted to break NC. It's been years. It's an act of self-preservation for me and protecting my own family. It sucks having no parents but they have always been aholes so nothing ever changes.
Reasons like children in the extended family and relatives that are now facing the estate and caregiving battle. I feel for them. I’m going minimal contact. I’m not trying to increase visits. I use texting as a way to create space where the dysfunction is minimized and the fun stuff is shared. This teaches those that are interested in what I can offer without the reactivity. I care, but I can only do a few small things without getting too close.
I also have been using text as a way to communicate only bc my family uses group text a lot. I mostly do not comment at all on group text unless my name is mentioned with a question. It’s Been year and half low contact. I have not even seen my sis in that year and half and my mom I seen once I think. Maybe twice bc my nice sis would ask if she should invite her and she will pick mom up and take her home etc. but my mom doesn’t really try to reach out. I think she did just maybe 2-3 times but when I told her I am choosing to not really talk to those who have treated me unkindly my entire life so I’m done she got very quiet. I think she realized I was also saying “ you are one of those who have treated me horribly “. My mom knows exactly what she has done to me my entire life. But after I said that she had not tried calling or texting. I am finally at a place where I’m ok with this.
@ I don’t do group texts eother. Just one to one with one relative hoping it’s well received. Most of the rest of the family I try to get more distance. And mostly they don’t talk to me either. Like you I think they know I have boundaries.
Thank you Jerry ❤ your videos have resonated as I've went no contact recently from parents. I've stayed strong in my boundary and idk if I could've been as strong if I didn't have the knowledge. 💯
Great timing. My family is pressuring me to reach out to my mom, who I have been in email-only grey rock contact with for about 3 years. I will resist and reach out on Thanksgiving as I usually do.
Thank you once again Jerry. This advice arrived like the cavalry.
Very welcome
Wow... I needed this. Thank you
Thank you Jerry! I told myself to wait because if it was OK then waiting a day wouldn't make a difference and then I was able to remember there is always a price to pay and this time it would be my peace. but the guilt. but the price is my peace... yup I think I'll be looping on this for a while.
It’s harder to go no contact with a grown child with children. I end up feeling guilty if the children don’t have things they need. ( always says send money ) but it never ends! In the meantime I hear gossip from rest of family about how awful I am. However, I have always tried my best. I have had no contact for 5 months and all was quiet, but now that the Holidays are here I received requests to fix the car and send money to buy Thanksgiving meals and the Christmas gifts that she picks out.
Sounds a bit like you are being treated as a cash cow 😢
I can’t wait for no contact. Should be within a couple months. 🎉🎉🎉
I am actually going through this right now. I have 3 older brothers and broke contact with them appx. 13 yrs ago. It has been interesting to say the least. It is apparent that they haven't changed. I may end up with a mixed withdrawal of no contact, interacting with one of them and not the 2 others. At least attempting to make contact with all 3 has let me know where each one of them are about the issue. Excellent timing for your video. -A sincere thank you. Kent
They don't change and if you show up they want you back in the place the family has assigned you. There's no point in going back unless you like to get insulted.
This is great, timely advice as my narc mother has been sent to hospital. Lots of family system expectation to visit despite detachment. Good to hear these... is it about me or them; who is it for; natural healthy rules for inhealthy toxic situation; drawn back into dysfunction; get proper support and validation. Thank you 🎉🎉🎉
Going no contact can help to identify specific toxic behavior. Whenever I broke nc, it became so clear where the toxicity was coming from.
Especially after a 5 year break, I realized how happy, healthy, and successful I became, and when I spoke with the narc, it was painfully obvious they were abusive. They immediately tried to re-enter abusive patterns that were completely absent from my life.
Coming from one of most toxic family you can think of, I'm in a 2 months no contact. It's difficult
Stay strong, it can be difficult! ❤️
Hang in there, it's the HARDEST in the beginning.
GANG STALKING - How to EVADE Breaches of No Contact with Narcissistic Family...
Yes this is a needed video!!
It was easy. I knew they didn’t care about me so I didn’t care about them.
My no contact is so extreme that I removed even my social media and linkedin or talking to anyone who may know them and they stopped bothering me.
I blocked my 2 sisters on fb. They can sms me,I don't take their phone calls at all if they ring. My volume is turned down unless I am expecting a call from a friend. I am very short and extremely polite but that's it. I have not disclosed my new address to any of my 5 siblings bc of the flying monkeys problem. It's better the don't know & I now have peace. If I see one sister out publicly, I'm friendly but keep it non personal..modified grey rocking. The other sister, I'm happy not to see or hear from at all. The panic attacks have stopped.
@@joeythebushkangaroo1 I totally understand and it can feel so overwhelming to see them, I didn't find any other way to be honest, I hope your life from now gets better and better
Thank you so much for your help
My mom just recently started a lot of her Antics even worse again to the point of telling me that I didn't even see her at a place and telling me that I'm crazy and I'm imagining things and accusing me of being a bad mother because I won't say I didn't see her there
Thank you Jerry
This year brings the very last step after almost 20 years of no contact. My controlling sister in law found my new address on line and still sends their stupid family photo at xmas time which I always just tossed out and moved on. This year I will mark it REFUSED and return to sender. I always just ignore stuff and this year I am just making it CLEAR, crystal clear. NO further contact wanted, ever, no matter what. Not going to any funerals either. Good riddance to all the toxic mess.
Good for you!!
My Dad sent me an abusive letter years ago, I carefully opened it,read it and marked it, RETURN TO SENDER,NOT FOUND AT THIS ADDRESS. My motto- if you can't beat them, confuse them! He then didn't know if I had read it or if I lived there either... confusion takes the wind out of a narc's sails.
It’s crazy to me you upload videos of exactly what I am struggling with recently. I can’t stop crying from this trauma. It feels like there’s no escape from this trauma from my narcissistic mother. I am considering going no contact with my family. Being around them makes me unhappy because it reminds me of the trauma. Being alone, I will most likely be very sad as well. Why do narcissists do this to us?
I'm losing hope 😢 and can't break free
Yes you can, things can be figured out. Stay strong, so many of us struggle too - you're not alone.❤️
Thank you Jerry, needed a refresher ❤Especially before the holidays 😅
Happy to help!
I don’t call them my family. I call those people my relatives. I can’t have my children near alcoholics, pot addicts and people with felonies and criminal records.
We can be literally ADDICTED. WITHDRAWAL lasts about a week of breaking waves of incomprehensibly terrible sorrow and anger and fear and grief (the something MELANGE...See The CRappy Chikdhood Fairy!! It's someone else's term... Basel VK...?? )BUT IF YOU STICK WITH IT...Things get miraculousky better. And you have tge added conviction if competence going firward - you will have done one of the hardest things a person can do!! So the rest ys easy, Right?? Well... No. But it gets better... If you stay- it will stay the same forever. You KNOW THAT!! SO..🤑🤑🤑
Going on my 6 month no contact
I been going strong with low contact 1 year and half now. It is hard. I have two family members that just aren’t nice. Mom and one sister. I I haven’t been to any family gatherings including holidays and I have no plans to do it anytime soon. There are a few things that make it easier for me tho. My sis never calls any of us anyways. She never visits either. Ever. Basically all of us only see her on holidays so she really only said something yo me maybe 1-2 times in group text. My mom I seen maybe twice since the low contact bc my other sis would ask if it’s ok she came as well. My one sis understands I am in very low contact with those two and she supports my decision. My one sis ( that I get along with very well ) is the golden child. I don’t think she fully understand why even tho I explained why. My nice sis has not been treated the way I’m treated with our mom although she had had her share of nastiness with other sis . My nice sis said we don’t really have any family so she still talks to them. I decided I will be there for them for emergency situations only. This will be easier to stay low contact soon bc I’m moving out of state to start my own business this spring. My mom doesn’t drive and my mean sis won’t bother to even call me anyways. It’s hard people but it gets easier with time
It's a lot harder showing up to holidays and your birthday party just to get insulted or pretend the relationship isn't toxic. No contact with these people who are toxic and won't ever change will be one of the best decisions you've ever made. It's better to be alone eating dinner in peace than eating dinner while getting insulted by people who are supposed to love you.
No contact is very painful as it is a final death of dream about a good family. I know it is the only solution, but it hurts every day.
The problem is when i am not feeling well I loose control, I can not make the response that I want with controlled thinking… so the plan back fires me when I am not physically or mentally strong
when not feeling well = no contact!
Every time I begin to think about breaking no contact with my parents, something always come up that shows me I shouldn't, whether it's videos like this or whether it's someone in my personal life that may say something about them that would make me reconsider breaking the no contact. Then I begin to think about my parents being well up in age and having fewer yrs ahead of them. Do I really want to be in no contact or try to have some form of contact, then I remember why I'm no contact. So in the end, something has to give and I have to just except the fact that this is it and it is what it is. How it end is how it end. I just really miss my dad and that's what have me wanting to break the no contact. I couldn't careless if I ever talk to my mom again
My sister thinks her whole family are narcissists but she’s really the one with full blown narcissism. She went no contact with me bc I disagreed with her. My sister is also obsessed with “getting even”. If she decides you’re her enemy, she will play dirty. Crazy when you have a sibling that turned into a Karen 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏽♀️
What if the enabler (not so bad but so overwhelmed during decades) is ill or very old ? and you would like to see him ? to give him some peace and joy because he doesn't hate you and were the only one to protect you when you were young. Or at least, did his best ? Like an hostage in the hands of a narc family.
If he can t harm you any more I think in this case u can see them
It’s easy once you see them as the enemy camp & not a real family… do you have a death wish or desire to be eaten by cannibals?
🩷 Thank You for the Truth!
Thank you.
Isn't this more of a question of inner strength - i.e. you can only reconnect AND maintain yourself when having such strength. So the real question is: how and where do you get or grow such after the moment of realization of the narcissist framework
Point 8 !
Yeah, I am still trying to decide if I should go full no contact with my narc. I told other family members about her, and they don't think that she loves me with the way that she treats me.
♥️
Good question. If they never change and you don’t need them to, would you break no contact? Would you still want to reconnect?
Dont worries evole toweo and nowoe if they are alife and healthy .
Has anyone wanted to break no contact to tell the Narc off, after researching this topic now for 20 years Narc Mothers flying Monkeys were launched at me once again. She is on her deathbed and still up to it. I’ve been considering to call her and tell her off and list all the reasons she’s a terrible person and why she should leave me alone. Partly to have my say and to be able stand up for myself. I innerstand she won’t hear my words and I’ll talk to a brick wall, yet I may feel better inside me. I was always so scared of her as a child, and now there is no fear.
I’d love to hear different thoughts about this. Thanks so much! 🕉💜🕉
hey hi Jerry 😀
I want to get away but i can't.
Don't have the finances.
I need to get out. The triangulation is rampant.
I want to ask you about your family so they can make you feel isolated and odd which doesn't make sense because if their family made them such wonderful people why aren't they asking you over to dinner or for the holidays or being careful of you why shine a big Spotlight on it and make you feel odd and that doesn't happen everywhere but it does in the state I'm in full of German base people in the Midwest
Just tell people you were put in a foster home and left when you were 18 years-old and never looked back.
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤
I have a question for you. I went no contact with my mom 8 years ago and she died last week. I never went back to contacting her but my husband kept my kids in touch with her. I don't have any feelings of guilt that I stayed no contact, but I am still wondering if that was the right decision? I was with her when she died but I am feeling much more about it than I expected. I knew she was getting sicker and now I wonder would it have been so bad for me to have talked to her.
The grief is hard because they're still, technically, alive, but we have to bury them, anyway. This is HARD because biology is NOT WORKING in our FAVOR!! And the BRAIN is also not supportive- IT Doesn't care if you're happy. Our BRAINS just care if we simply succeed @ continuing to breathe. Not a high bar😮😂
Our MINDS, our AWARENESS, our ability to DISCOVER, ASSESS and respond effectively from " The Sweet Spot of the INFINITE NOW," is where our saving Grace lies... Take a Breath before acting...❤ Urgency, a feeling of great pressure to act or say something, is a Trauma Reponse!! Don't do it!! 😂❤❤🎉
I am sorry that your childhood was such a pile of tumbleweed.
I am learning what I can teach my three grandchildren to keep uppermost in their minds as they develop the skills to cope with their mother.
What are you talking about? Who are the children are you talking about?
I THINK WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS NOT ABOUT ME
Noted
Just in time for the holidays, Jerry! 🫠 It is so tough remaining no contact while having to also keep moving forward and working on yourself. Most of the time I feel lost like I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing but it's helpful to have videos like these and supportive people around like my husband to help me stay the course. Thank you for everything you do Jerry. Happy Holiday's. God bless you. ❤
Happy holidays!
❤