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Are Sex Toys Allowed In A Christian Marriage?
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- Опубліковано 4 тра 2023
- Are sex toys allowed in marriage? What does the Catholic Church say? What does Theology of the Body tell us? Join Christopher as he delves into a thoughtful discussion on the topic of sex toys in marriage, exploring deeper questions about marital intimacy, the spiritual and physical unity of partners, and the true meaning of the marital embrace. By focusing on the dignity of the human person and the purpose of the marital act, we challenge the reduction of moral questions to mere legalism. Through this lens, we invite you to reflect on the personal and spiritual dimensions of marital love.
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It is this kind of education that children of age should be taught not the perversions being pushed into the curriculum.
Thanks for broaching a subject that many people are uncomfortable talking about, and thank you for helping people understand the true beauty of the body in a world that is always trying to distort it.
Very clarifying. Many in my generation and younger have such an unnatural understanding of sex. This video helped me to see a more pure, natural and holy perspective on sex.
Please do more like this.
The question that needs to be answered is, “What is healthy arousal?” It’s going to exist on a spectrum and be a complex topic involving the study of natural human sexuality before modern inventions. Basic touch, words of affirmation, nakedness, etc, are parts of the equation. If you require extreme forms of stimulation to become aroused with your partner, you have become desensitized and disconnected from your natural human sexuality. My brief comment isn’t giving this justice, but in short, no, sex toys should not be condoned as healthy human arousal and should be avoided.
Sex toys are not permitted in a Christian marriage
I'd say it should definitely be allowed in marriage. It's something sacred between your partner and you, and no one should stand between your love and sensuality with you partner and yourself. It's not about toys, it's about people.
After spending months in therapy and lots of dollars what worked for my husband and I the best is actually Dot. A sex toy! And we're both proud Christians that attend chruch and we don't see it as a bad thing. We see it as an opportunity to grow and learn about ourselves more.
@@missmacy4527 Anecdotes make for poor generalizations. As my comment said there is a lot of gray in this debate, and I also said they should be avoided and not condoned.
If there are couples that have health problems and an arousal aid is needed to help them express their love, then it would probably be a fair application. But at that point, we’re not talking about a sex toy, we’re talking about a sex aid. People using sex toys like whips, chains, dolls, masturbation toys, etc, etc, are going down a sinful road.
Your anecdote is an outlier and it wouldn’t be wise to use it as an argument in favor of condoning sex toys for the masses.
@@timmyj2366 I am sorry, but I think we had a misunderstanding. I did not mean chains, whips and whatnot sodomites might be using, but rather luxurious devices such as Sila that are fair to be used in marital bed. My husband and I were sceptical, to say the least, when our therapist recommended those devices but we gave them a shot and it seriously did help (us).
Once again, I am not talking about diabolical things but rather devices that are beneficial in case of a dead bedroom.
@@missmacy4527 That’s pretty much what my comment was saying. The conclusion is that MAYBE the sex aids you are speaking of could have a place in the intimate aspect of relationships. Sex toys are clearly on the no side of the spectrum, and sex aids would likely be on the yes. As always the truth is gray and the Catholic Church wants everything to be black and white. The video is about sex toys though, and your initial comment was expressing approval by anecdote.
Thanks for giving me words to express what I always felt, but could never quite explain! Faith always leads us... even when we quite not put it into words... how wonderful to be able to share it!
Praise God for His wisdom upon u brother
This was articulated so beautifully!
Im not married, but; I hear the thought “Im not good enough for you” if I was not able to please my partner. This excludes any situation of biological disfunction.
Agreed, I thought that was right to the point. Sex is all about relationship, person to person.
I think the line is drawn at whether or not the sex toy is meant to replace the intercourse. If it is used during foreplay and it culminates in an intercourse, I do not see the problem in it. If I am not mistaken, that is the church's stance when it comes to things like oral simulation and I guess for this one would be similar.
That is an informed answer, yes, which is why he can't give a flat no.
Instead, he's sort of building a hedge... do you really need the device, or can you do with just your body?
In other words as long as it doesn't interrupt the natural marital act
Oral sex, sex toys, masturbation, pornography, any position other than missionary are sins even within marriage.
@@tjc1121I understand everything else, but why can’t people use the positions they enjoy? Genuinely curious on why you think this. I think sex is for a married couple to enjoy and procreate together. I don’t see how using other positions interferes with this.
@@tjc1121 Where is that stated in the catechism or the Bible? How do you conclude that?
Wow! Mr. West well put! Thank you!!! 😊
I think each couple would need to take the time to determine the purpose of using such objects in their intimate experiences. For example, lubricant can be necessary for some couples. Additionally, some men need certain devices in order to allow for intercourse to happen. I think the important question to ask is, "are my spouse and I using this item in order to enhance our intimacy and draw us closer together, or is this item being used for personal gratification and is ultimately demeaning to my partner?" I think any kind of device that is meant to represent a 🍆 or 🐱 would likely be used in place of the partner and is therefore demeaning. On the other hand, a special pillow that allows for different positioning to enhance the experience for both partners? I personally think that would be acceptable.
a pillow is not a sex toy... a pillow is a pillow
also sex toys are intrinsically immoral and evil... they are not procreative nor unitive
"Pope Paul VI: "The Church, nevertheless, in urging men to the observance of the precepts of the natural law, which it interprets by its constant doctrine, teaches that each and every marital act must of necessity retain its intrinsic relationship to the procreation of human life."
And if each of these essential qualities, the unitive and the procreative, is preserved, the use of marriage fully retains its sense of true mutual love and its ordination to the supreme responsibility of parenthood to which man is called." (Humanae Vitae, n. 11-12).
boom
@@sniperpronerfmods9811 I've seen that quote numerous times. Am I right to interpret that "there is only one single permissible behavior during the marital act (at least involving the genitals) and that is P-I-V intercourse", since no other imaginable act is oriented towards life? Even brief manual simulation to maintain an erection would qualify as impermissible?
I don't think lubricates are consider a sex toy.
Talking with a priest about the Catholic understanding of marriage. The crucial thing, he said, was that the husband finished in the proper place. That made it a procreative act. Then I asked, whether the wife could then finish. He indicated that he thought not. that the procreative purpose being achieved, the thing to be done had been done, and the couple should stop. To continue would be to start another act which might or would not be procreative.
“Oh, yeah, that’s going to fly,” I thought, `` What is this 1850 ? I hear things like this from the church , I really start to question the validity anything they say?
And the understanding that the female/ wife pays the higher cost to having sex in the marriage. A couple squirts and his/ husbands job is done, and the average time for intercourse for a "man lasting" is about 3 min, and how many husbands are under that 3 minutes, - I feel for those wives'.
Whereas she has 9 months caring a baby, then post partum issues, and physiological changes That are not always for the good. (death or health risks?). I can understand after 10 to 20yrs of marriage 3, or 4 kids later, I can see why the wife is wanting opt out of having sex anymore.
What ( never did want sex, other then to produce children?) does she get out of it?
I think if you need to employ sex toys in your marriage to keep your sex life alive ,it will be well worth it.
@@sitka49 The wife's orgasm, either during our after the husband's orgasm, increases chances of conception. The muscular contractions of her orgasm draws the semen into the uterus. So, if your priest knew more about the subject he might have changed his answer.
@@Heracleetusonly PV intercourse is ok
Reading the comments I can see, with sadness, what p*rn and pre-materital sex have done to humanity.
We can't even see past the indoctrination of Television & porn, nor can we see past the disjointedness that pre-marital sex couches the human mind into accepting. I pray for healing.
For you, a kiss is porn.
Fantastic! Very helpful thank you
Considering a vast majority of women need more than just penetration to reach satisfaction, toys such as vibrators are often the main source of that for women. Women are often made to feel shame or feel like they are broken if they don't reach climax through the same route as men. I so wish that this was discussed more in a healthy way. "Foreplay" is a term used to reference the activities before the "main event", but for most women, it IS the "main event". To shame women or make them feel guilty or broken because of that is not okay. God designed our bodies to function in a certain way, to experience pleasure in a certain way. If a married couple can find pleasure together and strengthen their sacred bond while using "sex toys" together, their marriage can be strengthened and blessed in a Holy way.
I agree.
You mentioned how sexual abuse affects a person psychooogically, emotionally etc.. it also seems to be cyclical. Can you please do viddeos on how ( spiritual & practical ways) the abused can overcome it so as to stop the" CYVLE of abuse"( the abused becomes the abuser) that can go on for generations.
Imagine being God and being concerned about whether or not humans are using sex toys. My goodness.
Ya know, I've read both Catholic and Protestant authors on this. Protestant authors all say no...but say contraception is ok. Catholics say that sex toys might be ok in certain circumstances as part of foreplay (I read Greg Popcak on this... hopefully I didn't misunderstand him?), but contraception isn't ok.
Its just... interesting.
The ban on contraception can be seen as protecting a woman's right to have her fertility respected; she can't just be used for sex with no consequences.
And the circumstances under which aids would be used are for her pleasure; again, she matters.
Note that the ban on contraception is ignored by half or more of (nominal) Catholics and the rest of the implications of ToB are also ignored by most of the other half.
As Popcak says, it's a best-kept secret.
@@michaelmicek You are right, that's why in the Catholic Church marriages are "do what I say, not what I do", that is, pure hypocrisy. No one, no person and no Institution, can rule about what a marriage does in their intimate time. They should and must do whatever only they can consider appropriate for them.
It's a human tendency to confuse morality as legality. That is a technicality.
Morality, as you began with the grace of God's Wisdom, triumphs legality. Morals, the natural laws, inspire and should govern civil laws. . .especially if they are aligned with Divine Law, God's gracious will.
And even if they aren't perfectly aligned, the natural laws have their roots and origins from the Most High God, fully Supernatural and, in Christ, fully natural.
Is it helpful? Is it necessary? And why? Let the couple decide of one accord.
Very well said. Now dose the Church says it a sin to use sex toys. People need back & white to what is a sin. Not conjectures or opinions. Just the facts, a sin or no sin. People need guidance. That’s where the Church must speak up on SEX. 🙏
Go back and listen to the first two minutes.
@@michaelmicek I replayed the beginning. Yes Christopher West didn’t want to assign guilt to the use of sex toys. Morality was the overview on the subject. In today’s society, people judge themselves what is right or wrong, without hesitation.
Roman's 14.22..blessed is the person who doesn't condemn himself in what he allows ...
Putting the adult word “sex” and a child word “toy” together is creepy in and of itself. Focus on your spouse not objects.
^^^ This is the most important comment here. Thank you!
I'd be devastated if my mate took the focus off me for a toy and I'm transgender.
@@DorianPaige00 There's no such thing as "transgender", friend. God created you with loving intent. Original sin causes all kinds of illnesses, physical as well as mental, and gender dysphoria is one of them. Don't give in to disoroder and look for Jesus Christ to set you free.
sex is not a sacrament but it is a sacred component of the sacrament of marriage, and sacraments require proper matter, form, and intention. Trying to reason through the permissibility of sex toys led me to this analogical thought process: What if a priest with prosthetic hands wanted to confect the bread and wine into the Blessed Sacrament? Could he do so holding the bread in prosthetic hands, or does that introduce improper matter into the formula? What about if a priest without a larynx using one of those artificial voice box things to give absolution to a penitent? Valid? I think so, not that my opinion matters.
Dr West gave the answer to a question I've been asking for for a while: aids may possibly be permissible if they're used to assist in the properly ordered marital act, if they are not intended to replace or overshadow any properly ordered part of the act, if they aid an organic deficiency...
That is an interesting question about confecting the Eucharist.
Hi, serious question from someone exploring Catholicism. if the use of wires and plastic is wrong for achieving a natural thing (sexual pleasure), wouldn’t that make the use of a prosthetic limb for walking immoral? Or driving a car, we have legs to carry us across the land, wouldn’t driving a car be wrong? Or riding on a boat, shouldn’t we just swim? Thank you!
Thank you for your honest question! We'd suggest Christopher's "Good News About Sex & Marriage" Where he gets into the details of what you're asking about. You can find it here: shop.corproject.com/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage but we also have this free playlist where he walks you through the book: ua-cam.com/play/PLAbqXQaOvkM4Q01szl54g7Sj9mJ8bfKf0.html&si=zZG7qYfniz9J_KKB
Maybe we should be careful where do we search for answers to those questions. I guess cathecism of catholic church has the answer on those subjects. We should always search for answers strictly from church. There are lot of misinformation about what is permitted in marriage. Let's be careful not to justify sins.
As far as I can tell, the Catechism doesn't directly address the issue.
Honest question, how do I get to where you are spiritually, emotionally, philosophically?
If you'd like to go deeper into the Theology of the Body, we'd suggest Christopher's "Good News About Sex and Marriage" You can find it here: shop.corproject.com/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage but we also have this free playlist where he walks you through the book: ua-cam.com/play/PLAbqXQaOvkM4Q01szl54g7Sj9mJ8bfKf0.html&si=zZG7qYfniz9J_KKB
As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 10:23, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful…” I’m a single guy with no current prospects (sobs in forever aloneness), but I believe that God has given husbands and wives quite a bit of liberty within the confines of marriage and ONLY(!!!) within the confines of marriage.
Paul isn't God
Liberty isn't perversions learned from porn, music, novels, etc
@@merquiadesmclellan2800Are you implying that St. Paul’s Epistles aren’t Divinely Inspired?
@KardasheviteUltravisionary I'm not implying anything. Paul isn't God. Unless you'd argue he is?
The thing is that Paul can not tell you what God has planned in your life
@@merquiadesmclellan2800 Just making sure we’re on the same page. You’re obstinance to usung marital aids says more about your bodily insecurities than it does about your Faith in God.
I'm not buying the "legalistic is blasphemous" at all. The Decalogue is literally ten do's and don'ts -- things are black and white.
I trully appreciate your approach and don't disagree, but some people, depending where they are in their spiritual development and relationship with Christ, would benefit more from a clear "yes/no and here's why".
What a wisdom!
Thank you for watching! If you'd like to continue going deeper then we'd encourage you to check out www.tobforfree.com
The answer is no.
Is oral or manual stimulation ok in a marriage to help the female or just used for forplay?
oral is sex, so is fingering. They are not a toy
No one, no person and no Institution, can rule about what a marriage does in their intimate time. They should and must do whatever only they can consider appropriate for them.
Nonsense
Interesting topic, what about condoms? There's plastic/etc in between
The truth is that every human being that has ever lived has had sexual hangups.....and tried their entire lives to figure sex out while wollowing in guilt....with the exception of Mae West.
Know when to say enough
You have explained very very good. Thanks a lot et God bless you.
I would say especially for newly weds, figuring out how to actually have sex together where both people enjoy it can be extremely difficult for many. Men often want to have sex more frequently, and women typically need a lot more encouragement to engage in sex. A small vibrator can often help get a woman in the mood to want to have sex, like an “aid”, but should never be the thing replacing sex.
Agreed. To some, sex is not always enjoyable, no matter how much you love your partner. The sex toy should not replace your partner, but I can imagine a lot of people would need “aid” time to time.
I believe this because I see married men and women on Instagram reels about divorce commenting that they keep the marriage alive by having sex even if one person doesn’t want it. It sounds so one sided, (I’m not married but I personally do not like the idea of being used like a rag doll… ALL the time) so I imagine the introduction of a toy would keep both partners happy
@@TheNinjapancake14 I read your comments but see it different. The other spouse who doesn’t want sex but decides to please the other is sacrificing for the other. True love is sacrificial.
@@figurefour633if your wife views sex with her husband as a sacrifice, and you’re ok with that, you’re not a good husband 😂 It’s a GIFT and you’re so bad at it, it became a chore for your wife
@@ninagrace-lee8323 There are times when one of the spouses do not want to have sex, usually that’s the woman but not always. Anyone with an IQ above 50 understands that.
@@ninagrace-lee8323 I’m sorry to have to tell you, but you should probably not be engaged in sensitive or nuanced conversations. You appear to be extremely resentful. Whether your opinion is right or wrong is inconsequential when you do it so very poorly, and without tact. I don’t mean to be offensive, but your words come off as bitter and malicious.
This question is on my heart and keeps on my mind. It is a medical and biblical question at the same time. Is it okay for Dr or nurse of the opposite sex see your body even though it's for medical reasons? My thoughts is no they should not. It is only for your spouse. And if there some reason for example pap for a woman. No guy Dr should do it. It should be a woman. If a guy being checked for medical issue it should be a guy Dr. They are human and could get excited and not show it even though it is medical. I believe biblical that medical in private areas only same sex should be checking u. I don't believe a man should be doing deliveries of babies. That's why back in the day midwifes did it. They were women. Am I wrong for thinking this biblically? If so can u explain why I am wrong?
I 100% agree with you
No!
Great explanation
Glad it was helpful!
A simple yes or no would do. I hate these type of videos that draws out the question without giving a clear answer.
Thank you for the feedback. If you'd be open to a deeper explanation of the topic and the reasoning behind it, Christopher has a best selling book where he goes deep into your concern and the practical side of it. You can find it here: shop.corproject.com/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage
I would also prefer first "yes" or "no" type of answer and only then explanation to follow.
That's kind of an absurd question really, seeing as how men have sex toys on both hands and one in their mouth to use on their women, and healthy and normal men don't need for their women to be using sex toys on them because they're the ones who have the more powerful sex drive. So it isn't a question of what is and what isn't sin, it's a question as to what common sense is.
He says by communicating on a piece of plastic with batteries.
Communicating verbally and having sex are 2 very different Things! You cant compare them. Technology can aid us in many Things, such as communication, but It deffinetaley has its dangers and it is worthwhile to think wether it could be used in expressing sexually or not
@@milagroscapomasi8525 and sex toys used to be called "marital aids"
@@joesouthwell4080 right, and that's why he doesn't want to get caught up in legalism.
The Church doesn't condemn them, but there are reasons to avoid them.
I always knew within me, after repenting, that using objects on my wife is not God’s intention for us to enjoy each other. I told my wife I will never get or allow her to get a vibrator coz then you replacing me as your partner and I see that as cheating (with AI) … learn your partner and go through that journey together to know how to satisfy your partner’s desires.
Such a profound answer!
Could you then make the argument that any mediation between the two lovers is perverse? How then do we as Catholics justify mediation through praying to the saints and Mary, when we can go straight to God, Our final lover?
This is crazy deep. Woow
Solution: Realize that mediation is a heresy and stop idolizing the saints and Mary
No. Simple.
Alright, I'm gonna be bold and bring up another similar and very sensitive topic. Is pegging, a woman using a toy to reverse the roles of sex, potentially good or just completely bad? It always seemed to me like a good way for a man to become more vulnerable to his wife and for him to allow her to experience sex from the other perspective... but is this act undignified in the eyes of God? I would love to hear your take on it.
I think the official Catholic teaching is you can do whatever you want as long as it doesn't lead to the objectification of the other person, and it doesn't intentionally prevent pregnancy. Catholic experts can give their own opinions, but at the end of the day, sex is a private affair between you and your spouse. For example, some women may find it difficult to orgasm without the help of a toy, so as long as she sees her husband as the author or source of her pleasure, and not the toy, then you can argue that it's still her husband using his body, with the aid of a toy, to give her sexual pleasure. To give an analogy, if you cooked a meal in a slow cooker, did the slow cooker cook the meal, or did you cook it with the aid of the slow cooker? Most people will say the latter is true. I hope that makes sense.
Pegging is definitely a no it reverses the roles of man and woman and it’s also gay
@@krdiaz8026that’s complete nonsense if a woman can’t be pleased without a toy she is dependent on the toy and she shouldn’t manipulate her husband into making him use it on her
@@gk3330 In a marriage, the spouses should always be truthful with each other. If the husband, or even the wife herself, suspects that the wife is dependent on the toy, in the sense that she looks forward more to the toy than to her husband using the toy, then they should find an alternative means. It really should be a case to case basis.
Let me give you two examples:
1) the husband has a problem with premature ejaculation - which he is working on but in the meantime the couple has agreed to continue having relations because they want another baby, and he also has hand arthritis, thus he cannot bring his wife to pleasure either through his pen!s or hand, so the couple chose to use a toy.
2) The wife prefers the orgasm she experiences via the toy than via her husband.
In the 1st case, it is good for the couple to use the toy, but in the 2nd case, the wife should examine why she prefers the toy to her husband.
Why not it's nobody's business..
So, is digital or oral stimulation 'allowed' in marriage? As I've read some stuff that says it isn't.
“Digital”? What does that mean? Pornography is definitely a no, if that’s what you’re talking about.
@@landrypierce9942 I meant with the digits of the hands/fingers :)
@@ConstantiaVertedMost mainstream Catholics would say both of those are acceptable as long as it isn’t done apart from the completed marital act.
What Church documents are you using to support this? Maybe this just another one of your opinions which is basically worthless.
6:45
You use them to make an important part of marriage (sexual pleasure) better
Your take was waaaayyyy tooo spiritual, I respect it but why not balance it a little bit
If you have sexual problems , you can’t perform that well with your partner
Using a sex toy will enhance your performance it will make both sides happy therefore the couple will get rid of a problem and continue their marriage
You mentioned using implants
Buddy, they are expensive some people can’t afford that
Why spend tens of thousands of dollars when you can buy a toy that costs around 10 dollars ?
And the thing about sex is the bridge between emotions and the physical love language
A piece of plastic won’t damage that bridge
It could even enhance it
Now here’s my take and i want you to answer it from a religious pov
Everything can be used in a sinful way and anything can be used in a good way right ? It depends on the person’s intentions
If the person’s intentions is holy because they want to make their partner happy because they want to feel more confident in bed with their prolonged partner in life with what god gave them …. God gave them ? The sex toys ?
Yes ! Didn’t god give us the sources to make things ?
God gave us the sources to make a gun
A gun can be used in a sinful way like criminal way
Or can be used for good intentions like defending ourselves and our loved ones
Same thing goes for sex toys
They can be used in a sinful way and it can also be used in a good way
It’s not disrespecting god’s creation but actually using what god gave us from resources to create thing that would enhance our life
Like we use cars to travel distances instead of walking on feet , did we disrespect him when we created and used cars ? It would be ridiculous to say that don’t you think ?
And the same goes for sex toys
What a lame roundabout unclear answer 😒
Agreed
Sex toys are definitely a no go in a godly marriage
How can sex toys be allowed in marriage when sex is not allowed in marriage.....only if two sex toys marry each other.
Catholic marital sex advice, it's like sex in the 1950s. Everyone knows it, but no one talks about it.
He talks like ever time you have sex its going be where all the clouds will part, and your going to hear angles singing
With this human intent and bonding blah blah blah"
( I would say quickies are out of the question in catholic marriage than?)
When having sex for 1500 time in 20, 25 years of marriage it sometimes it can be a little bit like watching paint drying at times, or the wife looking at the ceiling and thinks I really need to clean the cobb webs out of the corners? Not often but there were times we just quit in the mid of sex because it just wasn't working.
@@echinacea_6711 Emotional connection is different for every couple, even some people have a difficult time emotional connecting, sometimes ever this predicate on a individually basis to where one can feel that emotional connection during and after sex, and the other isn't getting anything out it and too afraid to say anything for fear of hurting the other partners feelings.
My guess a lot of christian haven't clue what is sexually emotional - sex is? Considering they probably been repressed for 20 to 25 years or longer that sex is dirty, sex is a sin. ( burn in hell if you do it before marriage) especially for the wife, considering she's heard it since an early age she's had it drilled in her head ,or beat over the head with the Bible that the women are the sexual gatekeepers, that's a lot of stress to put on somebody. ( remember you must be modest and not tempt men to sin - which I find just a form of body shaming) Study done showed that Christian women suffer from Vaginismus 3x the rate of secular women , I'd say that's telling of many Christian women's sexual state of minds that wife/ wives are in .
Just as the Catholic church does regarding sex. I pity the person who turns to any church to address their sexual quandaries. Most Catholic people just have sex and get on with life. Really, in the 21st century some people are still looking for direction from a bunch of celibate old men regarding how, how often, whether, for what purpose, with whom and when to orgasm? That is sad, unnecessary and unproductive. Clearly, a handful of those individuals still exist
Everyone practices it, but no one talks about it.
TL;DR No, they’re not.
Every Sexual Act has to be 3 things for it to be not a sin:
1)Marital
2)Unitive
3)Procreative
Some sort of sexual toy would not be pro creative and would not be unitive so it would be a sin.
Pope Pius XII: “By the force of this law of nature, the human person does not possess the right and power to the full exercise of the sexual faculty, directly intended, except when he performs the conjugal act according to the norms defined and imposed by nature itself. Outside of this natural act, it is not even given within the matrimonial right itself to enjoy this sexual faculty fully.”
I just never can understand why unmarried men like to comment how a marital relationship should be
The Vicar of Christ has the duty and the authority to instruct his flock on matters of faith and morals. To exclude matters pertaining to the conjugal use from that duty is absurd.
His God impression sounds like Ron Swanson
Why is this even a question?
But sexual gratification for women is body-oriented to a much less degree than for men. For women, the mental space is much more intimate. To attune the mental space in full orientation to the union is very difficult for her. I haven’t met many men who really understand what sex is like for women (this man is clearly no different). The man must reach across a big divide to pull her attention toward himself. She must trust deeply in return. I think he should use all the tools in his toolbox to achieve this. Many women never have orgasm ever. For those women the union sadly never happens. The vibrator has a place. Just like science has a place next to religion. But a powerful tool must be used wisely.
Men never have to confront this, many men just reach completion by accident. 😂 So men need deprivation, actually. Women though, is a whole other thing. You can’t have the same rules for men as you do for women.
Sex toys are inherently perverted. The orgasm isnt that important neither is sex.
@@tankiebot704 Actually, the sex ensures future generations and we have a duty to bring them forth. The female orgasm releases oxytocin which bonds her to the male and increases devotion. This is obviously better for the offspring from a purely evolutionary perspective.
If this is your first exposure to Christopher West and the Theology of the Body Institute, please look a little longer before dismissing them as ignorant of the feminine sexual perspective.
ToB insists on the importance of mutual orgasm and the context of love in which it is to occur.
That is, there's a background that recognizes there is a good use as you say; this discussion is happening a couple of levels above the usual level of discourse.
@@michaelmicek oh hello Mr Offended. I’ll have you know it’s not my first exposure to Christopher West, I first saw him on Matt Fradds podcast and I agree to most of his perspective, especially when he speaks about Pope John Paul II. I have been a subscriber since. I am though, entitled to disagree on this specific part about vibrators as 70% of women need clitorial stimulation to have a chance to reach orgasm. If the mutual experience of orgasm is valued, then let’s have an honest conversation about how to actually reach one from the woman’s perspective. We are actually different, men and women, and I thank God for that.
Yours sincerely. 🖖
@@emmadeemmut1352 oh, okay, good.👍
I was a bit surprised by his conclusion myself.
I took him here as arguing not so much for or against but for _minimum necessary_ mechanical aid.
Simple answer. NO!
Why?
@@andreaabate4193 Sex toys are unnatural, as in outside of nature. Vibrators etc are a form of masturbation. Masturbation is condemned by the Church. Even masturbation that results in traditional intercourse is intrinsically wrong. The ends can never justify the means. Supporters of the “one rule” or “one act” rule deny this and claim that anything is permitted provided that vaginal climax from the man occurs . Ronald L Conte has written extensively on the subject with what the Magisterium teaches as well as what Popes and Doctors of the Church have written over the ages.
@@andreaabate4193 it is unnatural
@@andreaabate4193 because its perverted and unnatural
@@godsarmy8746 So is the internet and UA-cam?
Why don’t you just say “no?” This longwinded and softly expressed explanation will undoubtedly lead some viewers to justify sin.
if he's saying "no", he has to provide the rationale behind it, no? People should understand why a thing is right or wrong. If anyone is trying (for no understandable reason) to justify the act then they may not truly want to abide by that "no", and that's entirely on them. Either way, his duty is done
Nice catholicism allowed the world to be destroyed
He doesn't have the authority to say that use of a marital aid, properly so-called, is a sin.
How are you certain that it is (in all cases)?
There's no explicit prohibition in the Catechism that makes a simple "no" suffice; you have to reason it out from more general principles, and this is the job he's made (or discerned) his to do.
He doesn’t want to say “no” because it will upset a huge percentage of his female viewers. He thinks he’s being profound, but, it’s easy to see that he’s scared of this topic.
What does Catholic moral theology say???? For example, if the wife needs a vibrator to achieve orgasm, but in every other way is moral sex (eg open to life, etc) is it moral? Yes or no? I feel like you're interjecting your flavor of theology or opinion into it.
Theology is a science and he's developing it.
It is an opinion, but not just his personal uninformed opinion.
There's a 30 minute or so podcast trent horn has, I'll try to find the link but he kinda covers this and says the same thing here but he brought up an example similar to what your covering here. And basically a big part of it comes down to intention. So it can be used without it being sinful.
@@chrisbrownlov1 I suspect this commenter was aware of that line of reasoning.
Now go explain it to those who were expecting a flat "no".
In what way is reaching orgasm a necessity or right?
@@csongorarpad4670 why wouldn't you think so?
It contributes to unity of the spouses.
In any case, it is part of ToB (i.e., JP2 wrote) that the wife should climax, preferably simultaneously with her husband, but after or even before if necessary, with the husband helping as much as he can.
Has anyone ever said you look like Michael J. Fox?
This is why singing is a good expression of the person, but using instruments for music is inhibiting the body... Did I follow your logic correctly?
It’s wrong. Period, BECUASE, God said so
Interesting... I feel like some stuff could be allowed but I'm not firm in this statement. A 🍆 ring could be fine? It doesn't get rid of the personal bond. Though that isn't a toy. Lol what a conversation 😂
Yeah I think your perspective is right. A lot of it comes down to intent. Is the toy being used to enhance the experience for both partners? Or is it being used as a way to demean/ get rid of the necessity of the partner? I think each couple would need to decide. A ring like you suggested could be very useful in a situation where the husband has a difficult time lasting long enough to satisfy his wife or even himself. Most men don't enjoy not being able to last for a decent amount of time. Lubricant is another example of a sexual enhancer that can be necessary for couples.
That's the most nonsensical answer I've ever heard. Using a simple object like a dildo, very bad. Getting a pump up implant for $20,000, no problem.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. If you'd be open to a deeper explanation of the topic and the reasoning behind it, Christopher has a best selling book where he goes deep into these issues. You can find it here: shop.corproject.com/products/good-news-about-sex-and-marriage
this is a man who can't please his wife
Une femme atteinte d'une pathologie rendant l'orgasme inexistant ( car peu de sensibilité au clitoris ), son mari peu il utiliser une aide a la stimulation et ne s'en tenir qu'à ca ?
N.A.S.A. i.e. (Never a straight answer). - I have yet to hear ANY Christian preacher admit that since the fall of man there has been a whole lot wrong with human sexuality and sex-related matters for which there are NO 'right' Christian answers and plenty of wrong ones. When I was a teenager in the late '60s and with the recent introduction of school sex education, the Pentecostal church I attended decided to hold a Christian-based sex morality lecture for the young people. There was only one message throughout: "THOU SHALT NOT . . !"
Half way through the meeting the two invited guests, (an early-middle-aged deacon and his wife, dressed unconvincingly in clothes that were trendy ten years earlier), lectured us on morality. The real low point came when the wife, (sensing that we were expecting a less restrictive message), said in an incredulous tone of voice, "But LOVE is so wonderful why would you want anything else?" The congregation of about 20 frustrated teenagers let out an audible groan. Well, we all just wanted to go home after that.
It is pointless trying to give definitive Christian answers to sexual matters that are not covered in scripture and most people cannot talk about without embarrassment.
- And on a closely-related matter, don't even get me started on the subject of the 'M' word! That's something else you will not find definitively in the bible. It's certainly not what is described in Genesis Chapter 5.
Not sure what M word goes with Genesis 5, but okay.
And the (Catholic) Church does have the authority to interpret Scripture, and contraception and (M?) masturbation (Gen 38? Cf Dt 25:9) are prohibited.
@@michaelmicek Perhaps it's masochism!
@@michaelmicek Thank you for your Catholic perspective on this subject. As an Evangelical I sometimes encounter a different 'take' on scriptural interpretation. Thanks also for the scriptural references. I am now curious to look them up and see exactly how clear-cut they are as this is not always the case with embarrassing scriptures that the writers tend to load with hints and innuendo.
P.S. My dictionary gives two distinctly different definitions of the word 'Onanism'; (i.e. a theological word derived from the practice described in Genesis Ch. 5) but only the definition describing the 'withdrawal method of contraception' exactly fits the description.
So sorry. For Genesis Ch 5 please read Genesis Ch 38; (i.e. your scriptural reference). With increasing 'senior moments' I must now learn to always check my references rather than rely on my memory.
@@snowwhitehair485 Right, so, the Church doesn't have to have a clear-cut proof text for every moral pronouncement, but can rely also on Tradition (what was handed down from the Apostles, not to be confused with "traditions of men") and inference, confident that, as the successors of the Apostles, "he who hears you hears me". (Lk 10:16)
In this case, though, a key verse in the Theology of the Body is Matt 19:8, where Jesus says that Moses (not God himself) allowed (in Deuteronomy) divorce, but that it was not so "from the beginning".
Jesus has a high standard of sexual morality, and since he is giving us new hearts, doesn't have to make provision for that.
So an argument would be that levirate marriage was traditional in the culture of the time, but wasn't commanded by God.
In Dt 25, Moses allows the tradtion to continue, but with the only punishment being a shaming of the man who refuses.
We note that Judah instructed Onan to follow the tradition, not God himself.
Hence it was the spilling of seed that offended God, not the refusal to fulfill the obligation of levirate marriage alone.
And the two defintions of Onanism come about because they are both spilling of seed.
Incidentally, the _Catechism of the Catholic Church_ paragraph 2352 deals with masturbation.
It doesn't mention Onan but focuses on the purpose of sex.
It also instructs confessors, essentially, to go easy on the immature and anxious about it.
Sex toys are toxic. I had a female friend who had her husband buy her a sex toy that was too large and she said she faked it to get the pain to stop, then she was too embarrassed to tell her husband.
I also hate BDSM being popularrised in certain novels, movies, and tv as fun. Since when is pain and humiliation a good representation of the church and christ.
yeah..why not. Keep the batteries well charged is my only theological advice...amen
the more I watch these videos, the more I think that christian sex is very boring and dull. No wonder youngsters are leaving the church.
If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly is Christian sex missing for you?
No. It's just not pornographic.
Oof.
This is sus
There is no dignity in intercourse. Blood, dominance, and violent gyrations make no sense and are a brutal evolutionary force. The man is doing his own thing in the southern land while the woman picks some cotton in the north. Everyone is out for themselves but some try to make it work but many end up unfulfilled as seen with the divorce rate. You could make it harder to get divorce or shame people but they'd be unhappy at their core.
For me, I'm male to female transgender tomboy and like the same. When I get my present, I don't have an empty box and have no desire to stick things of have things stuck in places that don't belong. It's just her bit and my bit and the only way that makes sense. And I detest sex toys, earrings, and make-up as it does put up a barrier.
"Everyone is out for themselves" is the opposite of what marriage should be.
So you are the romantic type?
@@kevinkelly2162 Yes, I'm romantic but only desire those like myself. It's sort of a celebration of identity that's separate from the hassles and hardships of being a man or woman.
I've been married for several years. Had a lot of sex as a woman. That's not how I see sex at all.
I'd highly encourage you to stick around this channel, maybe learn a different perspective.
No
Thanks for opening my spirit eye to true love Intimacy = ( IN TO ME SEE )
HELL NO. video should have been 30 seconds long. Sounds like an unatural perversion to me
30 seconds may not give confused people the explanation and rationale they are seeking
Unfortunately, your moral intuition is not binding on the conscience of the world.
@VaskaVenti correct but he takes way too long to say no.
Well, the Church never makes an explicit prohibition on the use of marital aids, therefore, as long as they are used in a way that is not contraceptive, they are legal to use.
In general, except for contraception (which does cover a lot), the Church doesn't make statements about what is allowed in the bedroom; it's up to the couple to mutually discern what is appropriate.
West doesn't have the authority to say otherwise; all he can do is infer that they are generally inappropriate and suggest that that is the case to those trying to discern.
Unfortunately I notice in these videos he doesn't give a straight answer. It would be better for him to just say yes or no and then explain.