So true and that is a good thing. You then know where you are and what is going on and you can make informed, careful, decisions about your future. It was once said by a rather well-know personality something to the effect, - After you know what 's up play dumb!
I hope moving from chill toward nausea is a step forward. If that sounds weird, it seems to go with feeling more sure I do have a right to feel less dread and that I will assert who and how I am in the face of pressure to cave in to the narc's bag of tricks. Another kind of bag 💩comes to mind😂 It's sad knowing how much time I spent thinking there could be relationship with evil, denying it out of self-doubt but time is to trust me.
They change roles; they are innocent and vulnerable and you are the hostile one which they hate. Mirror that back and then understand...you are being robbed! Get out for ever!
That’s why I think the best retribution is self-care, and experiencing the meaning in one’s life. I will take myself for a beautiful lunch, lovely walk, bubble bath or time with a dear friend…. at them! Works great!!
There is absolutely an element of evil in narcissists. I don't use the term lightly, but it's a true fit. Hugs and healing to everyone having to endure a narcissist this holiday season!
Thank you, I just discovered the N went into the attic and destroyed all my belongings and books. I wept. My dead grandfather had dedicated some of the gifted poetry books to me in his handwriting. This will take time when his enabler does not see that it is wrong or make him apologize..6 cartons are now what remains of an entire household due to his ministrations. He is an evil psychopath who tried to feed my cats mouse poison. Pray for us and God bless.
Just realized with this particular talk that I have been set up my whole life thinking I got rid of the narcissist but there were three others affected and are like the witches fighting over an eyeball stirring the brewing pot in Macbeth and I do happen to be Scottish everything he says just makes me more comfortable because I know others out there understand it just have to be around that
The funny thing is I never thought about it as evil. 3 days before it was time for me to come home from the hospital after being in there for a month. I had a very vivid and horrifying dream of one of the people that I live with. He was in a dark place with flames and skulls, laughing hysterically. The only way I would describe it is that he was worshiping the devil. So I guess there is an aspect of evil.
The narcissist will be mean ugly, and hurtful towards the person they’re supposed to love the most. Then they will turn around and give those outside of the family, attention love and all the good things. My narc was a master at doing that. So when you tell the truth about what they are, no one believes you because all they saw was the good side.
You said it, they never “seem to” suffer. They suffer 24/7 because they self-loathe, they’ll just never let you see it. They’re masters of deception who wear a mask
Click on your prof to see you joined 4 months ago and to find your other 2 comments where you're typing more ignorant lies. I highly doubt you have spoken seriously to any psychologists. If you have then you obviously misunderstood them. I have dealt with narcissistic tendencies my entire life and believe me, we DO suffer just like every other human being. Everyone feels pain somehow or another. You're clearly an imbecile. Educate yourself.
They suffer, but use the suffering to justify their cruelty. And then blame you for their suffering to con their next victim if you manage to get away.
They may appear loving and do things that appear thoughtful, to keep you hooked as long as you keep playing their game. Then when you wake up and move toward self love, they will shift to punishing and manipulation, guilt tripping, playing victim, hoovering, etc. to get you back into their game. It takes a lot of courage to set and enforce boundaries, and stay the course toward self love. Courage to all the authentic good hearted folks out there!
@@RN-gx7wt I think when I chose to go no contact with him, I chose to believe that he no longer exists, to me that is not that he didn't exist. There is still the chance that until he actually ceases to exists that there is that chance of a face to face encounter with him even though accidentally. I believe I'm equipped to deal with the matter Appropriately. 👍
Good point ~ they may love bomb & give partial reinforcement of some positive behaviors ~ in the end they are self serving sugar coated poison pills. My interpretation of Dr C's post is he is in full agreement. Hence the EVIL😈 part. Cheers to you R55.🙂
@@marieldavison5121 oh, I'm not saying Dr. C was saying they're not evil, I'm just reinforcing. These creatures are some of the very worst on this planet. Worst than wild beasts.
@@mythologic they do not want to get caught. So, yes. They do know what they are doing. They are full of hate and are intend on misusing all available resources for their own pleasure, people, Internet,animals! Etc. it’s especially difficult when the perps are into the occult for additional power. It is only prayer that works in this warfare with the powers of darkness. Merry Christmas.
I agree!!! His evil was always delivered with a smirk on his face!!! I ditched that covert narc--- 2 yrs ago and am never returning!!! Thank you for your post. PS giving him the " grey rock", when i HAVE to be in his vicinity--- IS the best thing I've done to continue on my ROAD to team healthy!!
Satan is the original narcissist, and the worst one. It somehow comforts me, knowing that God knows what I have to deal with, because He's been going through the same! Just the endless lies and slander, the triangulation and the revenge He has to deal with, with Satan trying to get at Him through us humans.
Seeing the change in the narcissist is the closest thing to Demonic possession I have ever encountered, but you've lost that person forever, it's worse than them dieing.
Can you imagine spending your whole life with somebody like this, or most of your adult life. And then imagine getting old and never being taken care of as you age, and being treated miserably/horribly by this person….never having any good memories and having your family torn apart and never wanting to come and see you over the holidays because of all the pain and torment in the household for years. And the only thing you have to keep you warm at night as you get old and start to slowly die, are the horrible memories and regrets about the choices you made and endured while staying with a narcissist all those years. Leave. Leave now. Make safe, well thought out plans. Living poor and happy is so much better than having to endure this horrible evil for a lifetime.
So true. It is so tough to grow up in a narc home. You feel all alone, and get brainwashed into believing there is something wrong with you. You are unreasonable. You are unlovable. It is soul crushing and so much relief, to step out of the fog.
I’m one of 5 kids. I’m her prisoner of her abuse. Since childhood. I’m 60 now and I AM THE ONE taking care of her at 83 and she’s helpless. Or pretends to be so that she has all the control. Makes me sick.
@@amiek9269 Similar situation. I use earbuds & my playlist. Tell her "I have to take care of ME first so I can keep you safe." I know it's not that simple just want you to know that YOU are way more important than she is.
I agree ~ they have an agenda ~ then they ruthlessly pursue it at all costs to you. Their eyes are wide open ~ their mind however is so closed. Cheers.
It’s very scary when you see there is no empathy or emotion behind their eyes when they are assaulting you. It’s a very chilling experience & if this has happened to you, know that you aren’t alone & that to stare straight into such cruelty and live to tell the stories is a blessing in that you are here to let others know it’s ok & that you understand that scary feeling too & that you aren’t alone in the fear that such indifference to human suffering can fuel. Prayers for all of you to heal past such brutality & know you are loved & you are a blessing. God bless you.
I have experienced this first hand. To see the hatred in their eyes....and your the one blamed by then and taken away. And the weeks following that, you are told that you are at fault for what happened and that you did this to yourself.
@@joedicello7001 That is what brings them joy…not the person, but the spirit behind the person. The person is just the tool, the body. The spirit that controls them is the one enjoying your pain. You will get blamed for “allowing” or accepting whatever is going on because the person blaming you thinks you should know how to manage or control your own life. They cannot understand how you can “allow” another person to ruin your life. They don’t know the tricks and devices of a person who has a narcissistic spirit.
When one comes from an Alcoholic parent and then a Narc. It takes a long time for the child to see the evil in them. Came later in life for me. 3 things I saw with a curse in the family is, bad attitude, hatefullness, and ni God. Curses are generational because of these 3 things.
😔 THOSE dark soul - less 👀 eyes... No light or emotion... No. Understanding or perception - staring you down 🙈 sometimes he would just STAND /SIT AND STARE almost Life less 👀 at you while you are cooking or cleaning (like a malfunction robot with a clitch) you can feel those EYES BURN THROUGH YOUR BEING😔
My narcissistic ex-husband was as far on the Evil Spectrum as you could go. He plotted to murder me because the psychotic cheapskate didn't want to pay for a divorce. Take my word for it, living with these types is as dangerous as it gets. Make your plan and get out as fast as you can!
@@sharipeterson1126 Trust and believe if you have kids they want to be part of your life forever not in a good way. They wait for opportunities to get you and warp your life because you got away and set boundaries! Love pervails with you but you must take a hard stance with them, you dont play with evil!!
@@sharipeterson1126 It goes without saying that you tell the evil clowns next to nothing about what you plan to do. Be as smart and crafty as it takes!!
Thankyou Dr C, for using the word EVIL. People don't want to use that word but it gives clarity just calling behavior by correct word. I appreciate it.
I work in the same place with my ex narc, fortunately I don’t have to speak with him and I completely ignore that piece of 💩 but my days are so draining, I feel exhausted and my eyes are always burning😢
In fact they get downright giddy when they contemplate killing someone. I've seen these evil jerks in action and they are some of the worst people to walk on the face of the earth.
@@joanngross786 I'm all too familiar with the way they get giddy about killing someone, I've seen it from my twin. In April 2018 he threatened to shoot me with a .22 caliber pistol upon arriving in town because I wouldn't drop everything, fly out to him, drive him in his car back here, and fund the whole 2 day trip with no reimbursement. I heard a sick joy in his tone as he went in graphic detail about how a .22 LR bullet ricochets inside the skull, turning the brain to mush. It doesn't, but that's a common myth. A few months later he got a small .380 pistol. The next time he threatened to shoot me, he just as joyfully explained how the bullets expand first then send 6 pieces of metal in separate directions to create deeper wound channels. The third death threat came a couple months later, and that time he followed through with it, breaking into my home with his third gun, a .357 Magnum revolver. I heard him spinning the cylinder and clicking the hammer between faking leaving by stomping between the kitchen and my bedroom door, waiting a few minutes to see if I'd come out. After a couple hours he finally gave up and left. I broke down 2 weeks later and finally got my concealed carry license. He's tried again in public and at the homes of family but has yet to get a single shot fired. Now he lives pretty far away, but I'm constantly worried that he might randomly come back to try again. I still plan to leave the state whenever I finally can afford to, even if not for fear of being killed just so people stop mistaking me for him and thinking I share his mindset and reputation.
@@hypnoticbacon17 Dealing with evil relatives is such a heavy burden. God help us! I personally have a good security system for my house and a reputation in my family that I refuse to put up with their psychotic behavior and will use 'any means necessary' to protect myself. Stay under the protection of the Father, I do. God bless you.
Some of my relatives voiced this when he would show up at their homes looking for me. They said over and over again about his DARK eyes! The whole family got PEACE bonds!
When you find out that the person you think is a friend is actually a malignant narcissist. He is trying to deceive you. He is very popular and charming. Has lots of friends. So no one will believe you.
The most evil and insidious thing about them is that they seemingly have no limit or depth to their depravity. Nothing is off limits, nothing is sacred. And they don't take days off.
They are pure evil. They break up families, call you childish names, scream in your face like a crazy person, then say that you are the problem and they are the victim.
My narcissistic former spouse worked for a church for many years. He was respected and admired. No one in the congregation even suspected what happened when our front door closed.
My ex is a member of his church worship team. The true definition of wolf in sheep's clothing. Makes me sick knowing he twists the word of God to fit his own narcissist agenda.
It's a carefully crafted public image that is hard to explain to others what he is really like behind closed doors. And forget it you can't explain to those pompous christians that really don't want to know that things are different.
They hate you because you stand your ground and do not go for their evil tactics, and their mind games. They will also double down and get extra mean but you stay strong and stand in love, respect, and kindness.
My soon to be ex husband is an evil monster! I have never felt so much evil & hatred coming at me! I cannot believe how deceived I was by him & I thank God He is delivering me from this nightmare. 🙏🏼
OMG just a little while ago I was talking to my brothers and said those exact words about my husband. No one has ever made me feel as bad as he’s made me feel. I’ve never encountered anyone like him before this that’s probably why it took me decades and coming across these videos to understand that I wasn’t crazy it was him. God bless you Jennie
My ex husband became even worse when I became a born again follower of Jesus Christ! (The demons in him, I guess), he screamed in my face "You can have your Jesus or you can have me!!! Choose!" I stared right back at him and calmly said "I choose Jesus" and he practically started foaming at the mouth! That was the end of our marriage, thank the good Lord!
My narcissistic father passed away and my narcissistic older sister ramped up her narcissistic abuse. I had no choice but to go no contact. Not dealing with that shit any longer!
This is a very thought-provoking, supportive broadcast. Evil people can get under your skin, do not let them get into your soul. I believe that is their goal.
Very very difficult when you have a narc parent. It is hard, but necessary to leave a narc parent but until you reach the age where you can, you are going to have lots of abuse if you resist them.
@@l.5832 You can call social services and report the abuse and your fears. Tell them you could be badly hurt for reporting your narc parent. Social services will investigate what you are telling them, but remind them if you stay at home, it could become dangerous for you. You are in my prayers.
A therapist told my husband he should forgive and understand his abusive narcissistic mother. I said "why?" for her to push his trauma aside with this dismissive crap was unacceptable.
Read the books by Dr. W Scott Peck, psychiatrist. He speaks a lot about evil.Particularly the book "The People of the Lie". The Hope for Healing Human Evil. He has written several books on narcissism and the evil involved.
@@middleofnowhere1313 I think understanding and forgiveness are two seperate things. I can understand others motivations, but that doesn't mean I will get along with it and before forgiveness comes an authentic apology.
Our marriage counselor told me that M enjoyed hurting people, but he derived his greatest pleasure out of hurting me. I cried and said, “but he’s my husband.” He told me I would never have the kind of marriage I wanted and deserved, and the biggest barrier to us having a good relationship was M’s personality. This video hit the mark for me. Thank you, Dr. C!
Wait!? U found a counselor that knows what this is and didn’t tell u to “be nicer” or “go on more dates!?” PLEASE send me the number! Lol - funny but sad am I right?
I have concluded that (Satan) who's very name means Father of the Lie is:The Original / 1st Narcissist...ever. He forsook his place with arc angels...why? Because he became enamored with his beauty. Felt (he) deserved to be worshipped/ not GOD.And he felt superior to GOD ALMIGHTY in everyway. If that isn't narcissism, you tell me what is. So, it is no wonder why these people find it so easy to be evil.
@@sherrymalueg2342 INCREDIBLE & BEST explanation of narcissism --- i'm out free for almost 2years now ONLY BY THE GRACE OF MY LORD JESUS CHRIST !!! TY LORD!! •~•so; ANYONE in this situation, i just want to encourage YOU --- YOURE STRONG & YOURE BRAVE- CRY OUT TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST & ask Him to lead you & guide you on HIS PLAN of YOUR ESCAPE...HE DID IT FOR ME----🙏praying for ALL being oppressed by "the narcissist" ..... With CHRIST ALL THINGS ARE POSSOBLE.... **i left walking with one bag of things & my miniature shih tzu and Nov 23 will be 2years....I BELIEVE YOU & BELIEVE IN YOU🙏❤ YESS YOU CAN ....SENDING MUCH LOVE TO YOU!!!!!
Every time I am attacked, I usually go up to my room and on a cold winter day pull the covers over me and listen to the Doctor. I thank the Lord, finally I am not alone. I can identify it now.
Maybe that's why you see exorcists demanding that the demons tell them their name. Once we have a name for these things (C-PTSD, structural dissociation, etc.), we can start to separate ourselves from it and heal from it.
So different from when I was a kid, I was on an island looking through the World Book Encyclopedia for answers. The Web is an awesome tool, for good or ill, -all the choice of the users.
I'm hoping that one day, listening will lead to action. As the saying in the movie Shawshank redemption...get busy living or get busy dying because that is where I am at right now. Be strong and be gentle with yourself. Knowledge is power use it wisely.
Im 55 and my mother's 87. I have only just woken up to the fact that she is a covert narc. I grew up hearing her trash my father and telling us he was a narc and so many lies about him. He never spoke bad about her, i just believed everything she said. My sister would tell me what my mother was like but i didn't believe her. My father and sister have now passed and i see it ALL. I can't believe i was so blinded. She showed us zero affection, spent no time with us and she never told us she loved us, just that she had sacrificed her entire life for us. Now that they are gone she is feeding off me and all the memories of my childhood have returned. She is so evil and i want her out of my life but the empath in me won't let her be lonely. I really don't know what to do 😢
Intentional meanness. Intentional harm to others. Intentional disregard of feelings. Intentional ignoring of civil behavior. Inability to see the world in any way that does not serve them. Total disinterest in others unless it can be played for gain. No interest in any subject that does not bring them pleasure. Sick responses to other's pleading them to stop. Determined to carry out their agenda, regardless of the cost to others, and sometimes even themselves. Always feeling they will pop like a cork to the surface of the water, regardless of the circumstances.
Yes, the evil is hidden until their mask slips ....I'll never forget the day my mother-in-law let her mask slip and I saw the real her. Once their mask slips you can't unsee the evil behind the facade. And no amount of forgiveness or the passing of time will erase what you now see as plain as day. The day her mask slipped was also the day I had to let go of the false notion that she actually loved me, so that day was a real double whammy for me.
So many of us have experienced the exact same, you're not alone, not crazy, not at fault, as old MIL would have you believe. Stick around long enough (simply become part of the narcissists family as you did) and they cannot maintain the mask that long or that much, or they simply don't care as you are just another victim ensnared in their evil games now.
@@bobtaylor170 Not to argue because there are different dynamics in every family, but a mother-in-law can be an important figure who is present at all family gatherings and has much influence over other members of the family. I certainly would not want to be the target of an evil minded MIL. It could potentially spoil every single holiday and other family event.
I’ve been surrounded by narcissists all my life. Both parents, 2 siblings, a husband and many so called friends. Recently the mask slipped from an over 20 year friend. Yikes! So ugly. I’ve gone no contact and now I’m grieving the loss of the masked person but repulsed by the true one. She was trying to love bomb me but there’s no way I can go backwards.I’ve blocked her. I’m on Team Healthy!
I was married to a narcissist and it was a living breathing hell! He was a miserable human being and there were times I actually felt sorry for him, but the best thing I ever did was leave him!
The tragedy is that there are children being exposed to this hostility and, often, cruelty. It's extremely harmful and you spend your adult life in repair. Keep your goodness!
@@mthomas3547 I am one of those. It is extremely damaging to the mental and emotional development of the children. I am 57 and still trying to fix myself. I thought I was doing fairly well until recently, my life started falling apart, and I realized I wasn't healed, but had been employing coping mechanisms to live a somewhat "normal" life. I now see that I still have shame at my core, low self-esteem, an almost constant feeling of not being good enough, distrust and sometimes fear of authority figures, depression and anxiety that have now gotten so bad that I can barely function, fear of being happy, distrust of all people, something close to hoarding disorder, self-isolation, insomnia, and the list goes on. In the past few years, though, thanks to Dr C and others like him, I have learned more about the causes and effects of narcissistic abuse, as well as other issues like emotional neglect, than I learned in my entire life before that, even being in therapy off and on for most of my adult life. Thank you Dr C, and everyone else who makes these educational videos!!! You are saving lives and improving the quality of life for so many people, many of whom may not have access to other sources. Keep up the good work! You are much appreciated!
I've had to deal with a narcissistic mother and narcissistic ex husband. The pain and conflict they created in my life lingers on in me years later, barely resolved. The conclusion I've come to is that narcissists are mentally ill and refuse to acknowledge that they need help.
Mental illness can be helped with medication and therapy. Narcissism is a deeply ingrained personality trait and those cant be cured. That’s why no contact is so crucial.
They are to some degree though NPD as the name says is a Personality Disorder, but not considered mental illness I don't believe. It is considered a Personality style or some such, but a rose by any other name... Technically or not, what they are and do is evil, cruel, twisted etc. especially to their closest family members, imho that is mental illness.
I remember the first time I realized he enjoyed seeing me in pain. We were having one of our stupid, circular arguments and I was crying and defending myself, once again. When I looked at him he had a smug grin on his face. I was startled and confused, but I knew he was enjoying what was happening. Listening to your UA-cam has given me so much validation. I never felt so understood. Thank you!
There was a day when my ex had bought me a T-shirt with some saying on it (I don't remember the saying). I wore it out of gratitude for his 'gift,' and watched as he smirked at me. It took a little time to realize that the saying on the shirt was an implied insult to me, so that when I wore it, it was as if I was accepting his negative view of me. I never wore it again. To buy someone a 'gift' that is actual an insult - because you 'love' them. Demented, sick and evil.
many of us have experienced the exact same, the coiner of the term malignant narcissist or the 'inventer' of NPD called them "the quintessence of evil" we call my Dad TIKI (TQE) now.
I know an overt narcissist who is an absolute master at convincing everyone that his victims deserved what he did to get back at them. A mutual friend saw him as a good person who had suffered abuse and was simply hyper-sensitive. I disagree. I think the narcissist knows how to spin a tale so that only he is the victim.
Whenever a person voluntarily creates pain and suffering in others, this is evil and narcissists do it all the time. They choose to inflict pain and enjoy watching people suffer because it gives them the feeling of having power and superiority. I thank God for people like you dr Carter❤ God bless you❤
i agree. i believe God delivered me from the relationship. i was so frustrated and confused didn't know what to do. i cried out to God, and asked Him to take care of it for me, since i was at my wit's end. i woke up the next morning, and He gave me my answer: "block her." i did and He guided me to the right people and information to help me start to see clearly out of the fog. still working on keeping her blocked, unblocked her three times. i am healing though. God bless you.
My narcissistic husband of 38 years loves when he succeeds in destroying me emotionally. He loves when I am so depressed that getting out of bed is a struggle. He feels strong and superior. He is poison. He is evil and he turned people I love against me. I feel very lost and super lonely.
I can truly relate. My youngest son has made false allegations that I hit him, abused him as a child and that my husband knew about it. Nothing could be further from the truth. He was very privileged, even into adulthood as we financially helped him and his wife buy their brand new dream home just 6 years ago. We've been estranged since the Covid which was hard, but now they have a new baby, our only grandchild and I've not met her, only seen pictures. I am devastated. Utterly heartbroken. My husband is trying to work something out, I've been praying and praying for intercession for them both. I've had a lot of rejection in my life but this is a whole new level of pain. 💔💔
Please take care of yourself, while there are many dark days to find your way out, treat yourself with kindness,love, and gentleness eat properly, sleep. It's a journey it's also a journey you are worth making for. I'm 9 months into it, after 25 years of marriage. I'm choosing me, Please do the same and choose yourself. You've seen the best of whatever they have. Xx
Leave him…. He’s destroyed you long enough, don’t give him the power to hurt you anymore. I was with my narc husband for 36 years, looking back, I honestly don’t know how I put up with all the abuse!! Well, wait… maybe I do, they have a great talent at making you think it’s ALL your own fault!!!!
My EX husband would not stop with the word salad and crazy making until I was so exhausted and the FIRST TEAR WAS SHED. THEN he silently slithered away as though satisfied . Sick . Evil. Thank your stars , or GOD , you did not marry into a family of Narcs !
I’ve realized a few years ago my Narc mother actually has an evil demon she unleashed on me. That part of her comes out if she doesn’t get her way at the exact moment she wants/needs validation and control. It’s very scary to witness.
There's definitely an element of the satanic in narcissism. When you give up your true self, who are you giving it up to? It's quite tragic, because the person who gave up their authentic self only did so because they never wanted to be hurt ever again.
Prior to educating myself on NPD, I called out an (overt narc) acquaintance who was bragging about mistreating a group of, yes in fact, Bible study members at my church. I asked her to please not do that again, to have respect for others beliefs & journeys. Her exact reply: "I disagree. I don't care. I'll do what I want." That's when I saw it - evil.
Have an acquaintance like this also. She and her husband blew up at the pastor and his wife then moved 500 miles away. Didn't even care about the effect on their 9 and 10 year old kids and said so explicitly
@@nmc1859 Ha! I had the reverse of your story....the pastor and his wife blew up on myself and my family and moved 500 miles away without regard of how it left us in our church family...Pastor's can be some of the most narcissistic people out there.
@@theirmom4723 yes i imagine they can be. When they are good and non narcissistic they touch so many lives for the better. I had one pastor this. He helped so many people, as did his loving wife. God Bless 💖
Mine was also. Didn't know till a family member said that when I was 6 months old mom tried killing me. No wonder I'm never been a fan of water. she was rotten to the core.
The truly sad part is so many narcissistic people have places of authority in churches. Their act is so good that other people trust them who don’t live with them. In truth though they are shallow and all their spiritual act is simply that, an act.
@Donna Fox Davis, Yes, I know someone like this, who paints herself as a pillar of the community. A lot of people have her number, though, and she doesn't even realize it!
My cousin sends me two Christian sermons from the 2 churches he attends at his regular home and his vacation home. He knows I am a different religion and have asked him to not send these. I just delete them now. There is no getting through to these people.
Hit the nail on the head Jerry when you said they have low self esteem. When I was young I completed a Dale Carnegie Leadership course and invited my oldest sister to the class breakup. My sister decided to get up in front of the class and said her piece then said I'd gained self esteem from the course. She also recorded it and when I watched it she'd deleted the part that meant a lot to me. My family have always been jealous, spiteful, deceitful etc leaving me to pick up their pieces (like moving their belongings into new properties, using me as an emotional dumping ground) while they traveled and attended gatherings whilst posting them on Facebook. I got no invite to my sister's wedding or my younger sister's either. I wasn't even invited to my son's 21st!!! Actually I wouldn't be surprised if my son is married now since I haven't met my 2 grandchildren aged 5 & 1 years old. I have been invited to my narc mother's birthday at the end of the month though which my son i haven't seen in 8 years is attending. I'm over their evil and they only invited me this time for show. My story goes on and on and I shouldn't be alive, but am. Having a strong faith in God since I was a little girl has pulled me out of their evil plan. Thank you God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost for saving me ✝️💜❤️
The most difficult part of healing for me, from narcissistic abuse, has been the inability to comprehend how my honesty and kindness failed to thwart my ex's evil.
Your goodness 'feeds' the narc. They see them as weaknesses to exploit. And the kicker - they know how to be kind and loving, because that's what they do to get you hooked. Er go, they CHOOSE to be evil to you later on. Because...boredom? Entertainment? hatred??
Didn't make a dent, hard for us normies to understand that type of person. I believe conquering the evil of Narcissm will be a major societal focus soon, I hope.
They weaponize the good grace in you against you. Example: they lie, cheat you, etc. knowing you value understanding, compassion, forgiveness, being slow to anger, etc. they take advantage instead of reciprocating.
I think a lot of the cause of narcissistic abuse is the fact that the narc has grown bored with you…they no longer want or need to impress you, they no longer need anything from you, the thrill of the chase has well worn off, they have you!!! You are now a thorn in their side! They can’t be bothered with you, can’t be bothered doing anything with you that they don’t like, they will make up excuses so they don’t have to do or go anywhere with you and if they do go somewhere with you, first fall out, it gets cussed up, like many other things do. These horrible human beings don’t deserve to be happy, they are evil, cruel and nasty, deliberately hurting good, decent, loving people.
Yes they mock, they laugh, i have seen their eyes change - black from blue, the last one had yellow eyes after a rage , due to being narcissistically injured, not golden but yellow
I saw the evil spirit once. Face contorted into an evil snarl. Sharp fangs. Green glow coming from the mouth, nostrils, eyes, and ears. Pinched myself a few times, looked away, shook myself…each time saw something worse. Prayed!!!
I have seen this sort of thing in my father's face, the one I thought loved me in the toxic family even though his actions didn't show he did. I guess it was my desperation growing up with a totally evil mother who incidentally also used my 2 sisters as flying monkeys. All have attacked me in every way. I hope they rot in hell
I was very relieved to read your post on this contortion, I haven't come across it before in learning about this and thought my mind was playing tricks on me. Couldn't believe my eyes but I'll never forget it, how frightening it was
Evil is exactly what narcissists embody. They set themselves up as gods, above reason and logic beyond the ethics and morality that flow from reason and logic. Woe the person who works for one and suffers the reference written by one! Thank you for revealing a horrific truth.
Well said. When I asked my dad what was bothering him when he was ignoring me he said that I was cornering him and that he didn't have to explain himself to anyone. Didn't care what I thought, didn't care if it was unreasonable. Lacking empathy and a conscience allows this.
I recently read the books, “The Sociopath Next Door” and “Outsmarting the Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout, a psychologist. She proposes that our conscience is where love lies and based on experiences of her patients who are trying to recover from relationships with narcissists, sociopaths have no conscience and therefore no love. It is an empty hole in their souls that they try to fill with their despicable behavior toward others. Dr. Carter, thank you for your insight so people can heal and move forward with their lives in LOVE.
It took me 30 years to figure out that my son was a narcissist. I always had a million and one excuses to defend his behaviour, but I I lived with him and his wife for several months and it was a terrifying ordeal. His sense of self entitlement, the gaslighting, toxicity, grandiosity and arrogance and total lack of empathy was overwhelming. He hid his true character from me for a very long time. Turns out that I caused 80% of the problems in his life and he had a strong suspicion that I had some undiagnosed mental health issues. The situation was not good for his mental health? I have cut off all communication with him and can say in all honesty that setting these boundaries has set me free. People tell me to get together with him to work our differences out. What’s the point? They are always right.
My step mother was a sadist. She needed to be in control in all situations in the home. Once she and my father got too feeble to live alone, my step brother moved them into an assisted living home two time zones away from me. My step mother died within 30 days of the move. It seems she could not survive if she was not in control. A year later my dad moved in with me and my husband. We took care of him for the last 7 years of his life. First time I had a chance to speak to him without interruption. First time in memory my dad looked happy!
I just realized after 26 years of marriage, this man has constantly fought to tear it down. For the 1st 15 years I dealt with him looking and leering/lusting after women especially very young girls. They’ve always responded with more flirtatious behavior as his outer appearance is very attractive. He chose people without boundaries apparently. The last 10 years he has inappropriately flirted with friends and family members. For this last year, I’m numb and not in love. Today my eyes are open and I realized I can’t do it anymore. It’s not worth the headache.
This message is incredibly important in this society. I have been the target of deeply evil people in my family of origin and in my teaching career. I have fought the good fight with them all, but never gave back evil for their evil, feeling to do so would lower me to their level and I would become no better than them. I am 76 and as I look back on my interesting life I am so happy I pursued this path. Evil is pandemic and those who encounter it have a choice how to respond. My advice is to go no contact and eliminate the predators an opportunity to cause you pain. Thank you for this wonderful message!
Hi, Mary, Great message! These people are extremely ill or worse. No matter the exact definition, as empathy we absolutely need to go no contact and ever relent for any reason whatsoever.
I've felt that, that I have to stay on a different path than the abusers since I was very young. Thanks for your very clear statement of this. It's been hard not to doubt sometimes, but I'm grateful to have stayed with that and finally be able to acknowledge that what I saw was wrong, and actually evil.
I developed my working definition of evil from the narcissist in my life. "Evil seeks to usurp the agency of another to feed their own ego." and that self-satisfied laugh . . . . . . She could hold a grudge so long, she didn't even remember why she was angry, just that she was and it was the fault of the person with whom she angry.
They are so good at gaslighting you… such a cruel thing to do! And they’re supposed to love you! Not a chance, you don’t treat people you love like that.
I really hope and pray that after 37 years with ex narc that KARMA gets him… was with him from the age of 25-62…. Been separated six months..,I’m still a nervous wreck, anxiety is awful, confidence is zero, sometimes I really feel I don’t know who I am, I don’t feel as if I’m living in reality, I’m hoping all these feelings will eventually pass but I think it will take a long time… 37 years of being subject to narcissistic abuse has taken it’s toll.
Both my mother and sister tic most of the symptoms off of NPD. They are both off the charts as far as Hare's Psychopathy Checklist goes. I truly believe that being raised by a person such as this is like being raised in a cult. The smear campaigns and flying monkey attacks are mind numbing. I'm glad that my mother is dead and that my sister is over 1,000 miles away from me! It's even sadder that I feel like that!
I don't think it's sad that you feel that way at all. I'm glad you found some relief and that you don't have to pretend anymore at all. Playing their game in any way is draining.
I can also relate. I feel relief that my mother is dead and my sister moved across the United States. In June divorced my husband who has Borderline Personality Disorder. I am in the process of distancing myself from other toxic people in my life. My boundaries are on steroids at this season in my life. I have a strong, healthy safe support system. I am 62 years old and finally have a sense of safety and peace. God bless you Dr. Carter!
@@snowbear1877 some respond to being raised by narcissists by becoming empowered by narcissism in themselves, others adopt the opposite extreme and gravitate towards narcissists and serving their needs. Both are unbalanced.
We are born with the knowledge of good and evil. Learning how to cope with this knowledge is the primary goal of life. The narcissist believes in only themselves then use evil to serve their interests.
To expand, pride is at play when a narcissist assumes superiority, considering themselves having Diety power to “punish” in any way or extent they feel is appropriate. They ALWAYS think of themselves first (and usually exclusively). It is their pride that excuses their own behavior, even while they exert “justice” upon any who would defy them.
My sister-in-law's pride just about equals Satan's pride. She is never wrong about ANYTHING! And oh how she loves to talk! She will talk for hours about her favorite subject-- herself! Woe to you if you try to get a word in. She easily dismisses the pain of others as inconsequential. Since her colon ruptured in late December 2023, she has said she is not helping her disabled brother anymore: he has awful diabetes and considerable trouble with his feet. She said she'll just look after herself and that he can just die. He is my son's daddy. I wish I could get him out of there and care for him. She has him in thrall and doing the majority of the housework when HIS doctor says he must stay off his feet to get well. She has him in servitude. I just PRAY TO GOD that He gets my son's daddy out of that situation. Oh, and she has demons inside her. Her brother and our son , they are TERRIFIED of her. By myself I can do nothing; but with God's Help, much can be accomplished.
That's the perplexing thing about narcissism, it's evil is adaptable- it can as subtle, nuanced or sporadic as it needs to be. Initially it slips by, but that evil is always present in some form.
@@Booboonancy Genesis 3, the fall of man : Now the serpent was more crafty (subtle, skilled in deceit) than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And [a]the serpent (Satan) said to the woman...
Its sad to say, but my mother was at the most extreme end of evil. Once she hit her 80's, she became more and more evil. Before that, there were times, though rare, that she would be somewhat pleasant at times. By the end, those times were long gone. She took pleasure in hurting me and my brother. I could not understand how a mother could act that way and say the things she would say with their own flesh and blood. I am a father of 3 and there was no way on Gods earth that I could ever say ANY of the things she said to me, to any of my children! I would never be able to forgive myself or ever look at myself in a mirror again. Yet, she did it as easily as can be. It got to the point that me and my brother used to say that maybe we were dead and this was hell, Because we couldn't imagine anything being worse that the daily pain and horror we dealt with from our mother. She finally passed a year ago and life has improved 1000%. Me and my brother are still working on the PTSD episodes and things that trigger awful memories, but we are doing very well. I implore anyone going through the horror we went through.....Get away from that person!! Go no contact. Don't make the same mistake we made and stick around because we felt we shouldn't abandon our elderly mother. Do it for your health - mental and physical - and do it for your sanity!!
Similar situation. I’ve been no contact for going on 3 years. Best thing I have ever done for myself, my wife, and my daughter. They are poison to your life and your soul. Run!!!
I concur, I tell everyone the same, you cannot change them, help them, and you will only be damaged and saddened. Congratulations on your better life, you made it! People cannot understand any of this feeling towards a parent if they haven't experienced this type of incessant abuse and torture.
Only Jesus can help these individuals. I believe this is demonic , that the person is possessed by a demon or demons. That these people are empty vessels being used by Satan! Sad
We need to forgive them always for our sake! God says we need to forgive our enemies and pray for them always. Matthew 5:44 KJV- But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.
Killing the spirit of the kind, loving person is what makes it so hard to heal from this trauma. They are so good in the beginning that’s what you focus on. They’re mask or act stops when you call them out. He was trying to micromanage me all the time, they won’t tell the truth, apologize or communicate in a mature way. It leaves you conflicted, and foggy especially when they also devalue you. Telling the truth being genuine, transparent should be easy. I’m still healing and it was only a few months thank goodness I was able to get out and had my own house and finances it breaks my heart for people out there that don’t have resources.
Well done Kylie I travelled across the world to be with my husband. I ignored the red flags because I wanted to believe in true love and the happiness ever after.... now I am in hell.
@@petediamond7263 I understand what you are saying but I doubt it’s because you don’t want to escape. More like pity and/or fear are at play here. Take care.
One of your most powerful. As a person learning more and more about the narcs in my life,the use of the word evil is no exaggeration. Increasingly, as I direct certain individuals in my past and present life I grow sad at my naive evaluation of so many individuals .yes ,the word could only be evil....thank you dr Carter for your couage..and powerful faih
When that light bulb goes off. You can never see them as decent ever again
So true and that is a good thing. You then know where you are and what is going on and you can make informed, careful, decisions about your future. It was once said by a rather well-know personality something to the effect, - After you know what 's up play dumb!
@@buffalogal9139 so so true. It is power in this level of awareness
Yup!! It’s kind of mind blowing
Is your dog real?
I just cut off my elder sister after her real narcissistic self finally manifested. I don't want to ever relate with her ever again.
That evil smirk - and the way they look at you when they know they have succeeded in hurting you - it still sends shivers down my spine
They do smirk when they realised they have hurt you deeply
I hope moving from chill toward nausea is a step forward. If that sounds weird, it seems to go with feeling more sure I do have a right to feel less dread and that I will assert who and how I am in the face of pressure to cave in to the narc's bag of tricks. Another kind of bag 💩comes to mind😂 It's sad knowing how much time I spent thinking there could be relationship with evil, denying it out of self-doubt but time is to trust me.
@@morebirdsandroses - And from nausea to perhaps laughter and not giving much time to thinking anymore on it.
And they literally laugh at us too
Me too.
How someone can hate you so much and act so completely vulnerable and innocent at the same time is beyond my understanding
Thank God!
John 7:7 [NKJV] The world cannot hate you, but it hates me, because I testify that what they do is evil.
They change roles; they are innocent and vulnerable and you are the hostile one which they hate. Mirror that back and then understand...you are being robbed! Get out for ever!
Sick people
They're full of hatred but cowards at the same time. They don't want no smoke.
Honestly, no low is too low for them to stoop to. They're lowdown and dirty, and they will do Anything to get what they want.
Exactly. People that truly try to be honest a and good do not understand this thinking.
I find that evil people gets mad when they see your happiness.
They often hide behind religion to cover their dirty deed.
They hate to see you happy!
Definitely
That’s why I think the best retribution is self-care, and experiencing the meaning in one’s life. I will take myself for a beautiful lunch, lovely walk, bubble bath or time with a dear friend…. at them! Works great!!
@@rayc9899 Yup, that's why I don't go to church. It's just a bunch of narcissists pretending they're Christians.
A lovely woman in Cape Town South Africa shared an African proverb with me:
'DO NOT STAND IN A PLACE OF DANGER TRUSTING IN MIRACLES.'
@Sherry Murphy I love this! I will say this every day from now on.
Wow, that is SO right. Not that I don't believe in miracles But what if GOD has other plans ?
💗
I love this. Thank you for sharing.
100% 😊
There is absolutely an element of evil in narcissists. I don't use the term lightly, but it's a true fit. Hugs and healing to everyone having to endure a narcissist this holiday season!
🕊❤🕯
Yes it's called a demon
Thank you, I just discovered the N went into the attic and destroyed all my belongings and books. I wept. My dead grandfather had dedicated some of the gifted poetry books to me in his handwriting. This will take time when his enabler does not see that it is wrong or make him apologize..6 cartons are now what remains of an entire household due to his ministrations. He is an evil psychopath who tried to feed my cats mouse poison. Pray for us and God bless.
Just realized with this particular talk that I have been set up my whole life thinking I got rid of the narcissist but there were three others affected and are like the witches fighting over an eyeball stirring the brewing pot in Macbeth and I do happen to be Scottish everything he says just makes me more comfortable because I know others out there understand it just have to be around that
The funny thing is I never thought about it as evil. 3 days before it was time for me to come home from the hospital after being in there for a month. I had a very vivid and horrifying dream of one of the people that I live with. He was in a dark place with flames and skulls, laughing hysterically. The only way I would describe it is that he was worshiping the devil. So I guess there is an aspect of evil.
The narcissist will be mean ugly, and hurtful towards the person they’re supposed to love the most. Then they will turn around and give those outside of the family, attention love and all the good things. My narc was a master at doing that. So when you tell the truth about what they are, no one believes you because all they saw was the good side.
This describes my Mother.
It was of no use when I tried to tell someone.
WHEW ! That is my ex exactly ..
The narcs in my life did the same and they were very good at it too.
Exactly...1000% correct
Im going through exactly the same thing! Only people who have been with a satanic narc. can understand!
One of the most confusing things about dealing with these people is…they cause extraordinary suffering,
but they never seem to suffer.
You said it, they never “seem to” suffer. They suffer 24/7 because they self-loathe, they’ll just never let you see it. They’re masters of deception who wear a mask
Click on your prof to see you joined 4 months ago and to find your other 2 comments where you're typing more ignorant lies. I highly doubt you have spoken seriously to any psychologists. If you have then you obviously misunderstood them. I have dealt with narcissistic tendencies my entire life and believe me, we DO suffer just like every other human being. Everyone feels pain somehow or another. You're clearly an imbecile. Educate yourself.
I think you are describing the lucky as hell grandiose Narc.
They suffer, but use the suffering to justify their cruelty. And then blame you for their suffering to con their next victim if you manage to get away.
Soullessness
They may appear loving and do things that appear thoughtful, to keep you hooked as long as you keep playing their game. Then when you wake up and move toward self love, they will shift to punishing and manipulation, guilt tripping, playing victim, hoovering, etc. to get you back into their game. It takes a lot of courage to set and enforce boundaries, and stay the course toward self love. Courage to all the authentic good hearted folks out there!
Well said! That is exactly what these people do!
It’s amazing how fast they turn on you once you stand up for yourself! Praise the Lord for freedom!
@@sammcnaughton5961 Yes, the government does exactly as described and yet we still keep on a voting!
🎯 so on point, Noel! Same well wishes to you, love!!!
Very true. We have to remove ourselves from them completely to be able to heal and re establish boundaries again stronger ones.
There is good and bad in everyone but the evil part is when individuals repeatedly, knowingly set out to do harm and take pleasure in it!
Exactly! I think when pleasure is derived from inflicting harm on another person, that is evil in the most absolute form. 🎯
@@snowy4282 Agreed 👍
@@RN-gx7wt Hmm point taken. My ex stepfather is sadistic and malicious then for sure. I don't hate him. I hate things he did. Take care ✌
@@RN-gx7wt I think when I chose to go no contact with him, I chose to believe that he no longer exists, to me that is not that he didn't exist. There is still the chance that until he actually ceases to exists that there is that chance of a face to face encounter with him even though accidentally. I believe I'm equipped to deal with the matter Appropriately. 👍
Exactly!
When you are able to put it together you will never be able to unsee what you have seen.
They ARE evil. Let's not sugarcoat them.
Good point ~ they may love bomb & give partial reinforcement of some positive behaviors ~ in the end they are self serving sugar coated poison pills. My interpretation of Dr C's post is he is in full agreement. Hence the EVIL😈 part. Cheers to you R55.🙂
@@marieldavison5121 oh, I'm not saying Dr. C was saying they're not evil, I'm just reinforcing. These creatures are some of the very worst on this planet. Worst than wild beasts.
@@ronch550 Ditto to all you say ~ 🙂
Married (currently) to an evil narcissistic "wife" with overlaying bipolar 2!
Bill
Its hard when it's your mother. 😢
A narcissist is addicted to harming others and to that sick feeling of doing so.
That seems to explain why they look so happy while doing harm.
@@sage9836 Right. It's also a moral/ethical problem they have. They do know what they are doing.
@@mythologic they do not want to get caught. So, yes. They do know what they are doing. They are full of hate and are intend on misusing all available resources for their own pleasure, people, Internet,animals! Etc. it’s especially difficult when the perps are into the occult for additional power. It is only prayer that works in this warfare with the powers of darkness. Merry Christmas.
I agree!!! His evil was always delivered with a smirk on his face!!! I ditched that covert narc--- 2 yrs ago and am never returning!!! Thank you for your post. PS giving him the " grey rock", when i HAVE to be in his vicinity--- IS the best thing I've done to continue on my ROAD to team healthy!!
It's playing God, whether by cheating someone of money, trying to ruin a reputation, or murder. They're always playing God.
I believe there to be an overwhelmingly strong link between narcissism and demonic activity.
💌..Yes .. absolutely .. and get worse as they form groups encouraging one another .. which ultimately requires law enforcement.
Satan is the original narcissist, and the worst one. It somehow comforts me, knowing that God knows what I have to deal with, because He's been going through the same! Just the endless lies and slander, the triangulation and the revenge He has to deal with, with Satan trying to get at Him through us humans.
It’s Jezebel
If you're curious about what hell is like just look at these evil narcissists they're already there.
Yes. People of all different religious faiths seem to have very similar profound experiences in this regard which is interesting, to say the least.
Seeing the change in the narcissist is the closest thing to Demonic possession I have ever encountered, but you've lost that person forever, it's worse than them dieing.
So true. Once the mask comes off you can never unsee it. So absolutely the death of the relationship as it was.
The last time the narc harassed me, I was alarmed by the sheer rage and evil in his voice. I cut contact two years ago and I stay armed.
Perfect analogy! These are really poorly people and there are millions of them.
@jarvis9115 And it's not demon possession either, that would be blaming the devil rather than the person themselves, and would let them off the hook.
I got it YESTERDAY,l. I SAID please dont do that.... his eyes glowed red and raged, " YOU can't tell me what to do".. and it went on and on and on...
The devil is a narcissist, he finds pleasure in humiliation, which is worse than psychopathy.
The humiliation that is done with sadistic intent, is a trait/behavior of the ASPD/Dark Triad !
My hubby is a covert narcissist Psychopath, a Psychopath is always a narcissist, and a Narcisst is not always a Psychopath!
Yes. The sadism is what completely blew my mind.
Good point
John 7:7 [NKJV] The world cannot hate you, but it hates me, because I testify that what they do is evil.
Can you imagine spending your whole life with somebody like this, or most of your adult life. And then imagine getting old and never being taken care of as you age, and being treated miserably/horribly by this person….never having any good memories and having your family torn apart and never wanting to come and see you over the holidays because of all the pain and torment in the household for years. And the only thing you have to keep you warm at night as you get old and start to slowly die, are the horrible memories and regrets about the choices you made and endured while staying with a narcissist all those years.
Leave. Leave now. Make safe, well thought out plans. Living poor and happy is so much better than having to endure this horrible evil for a lifetime.
Good job strong woman now stronger
Narcissist never regret their life choices bc they dont think they did anything wrong
Academe Pandora music.
This is my life. Run. Get out!!!!!
Wow this comment really opened my eyes ... Thank you this is the cold hard truth narcs never change 😢
Yes, they hate you if you're smart and have a strong character that's not easily fooled. They want to tear that person down to their level.
Amen!! And if you have to ask him to care about you, lose him. You can do better!
ALWAYS!
Thank you for this! The most evil is the control and manipulation of their own children! They will stop at nothing or no one.
It's especially challenging to co-parent with such a person. There is little to be done to protect your children.
So true. It is so tough to grow up in a narc home. You feel all alone, and get brainwashed into believing there is something wrong with you. You are unreasonable. You are unlovable. It is soul crushing and so much relief, to step out of the fog.
I told my ex, “ you would eat your young for what you want.” She didn’t even flinch!
I’m one of 5 kids. I’m her prisoner of her abuse. Since childhood. I’m 60 now and I AM THE ONE taking care of her at 83 and she’s helpless. Or pretends to be so that she has all the control. Makes me sick.
@@amiek9269 Similar situation. I use earbuds & my playlist. Tell her "I have to take care of ME first so I can keep you safe." I know it's not that simple just want you to know that YOU are way more important than she is.
The dark stare of hate when exposed is universal. That is the true them.
Yes.
That is really spot on
Evil is not too strong a word! They make deliberate choices. Thank you.
I agree ~ they have an agenda ~ then they ruthlessly pursue it at all costs to you. Their eyes are wide open ~ their mind however is so closed. Cheers.
Amen 💯💯💯
Much of their behavior is intentional!
Absolutely spiritually corrupt!!! 💯 there's no mistake
I think one chooses evil over good too.
It’s very scary when you see there is no empathy or emotion behind their eyes when they are assaulting you. It’s a very chilling experience & if this has happened to you, know that you aren’t alone & that to stare straight into such cruelty and live to tell the stories is a blessing in that you are here to let others know it’s ok & that you understand that scary feeling too & that you aren’t alone in the fear that such indifference to human suffering can fuel. Prayers for all of you to heal past such brutality & know you are loved & you are a blessing. God bless you.
That's when we are looking in the eyes of a demon.
I have experienced this first hand. To see the hatred in their eyes....and your the one blamed by then and taken away. And the weeks following that, you are told that you are at fault for what happened and that you did this to yourself.
@@joedicello7001 That is what brings them joy…not the person, but the spirit behind the person. The person is just the tool, the body. The spirit that controls them is the one enjoying your pain. You will get blamed for “allowing” or accepting whatever is going on because the person blaming you thinks you should know how to manage or control your own life. They cannot understand how you can “allow” another person to ruin your life. They don’t know the tricks and devices of a person who has a narcissistic spirit.
When one comes from an Alcoholic parent and then a Narc. It takes a long time for the child to see the evil in them. Came later in life for me. 3 things I saw with a curse in the family is, bad attitude, hatefullness, and ni God. Curses are generational because of these 3 things.
😔 THOSE dark soul - less 👀 eyes... No light or emotion... No. Understanding or perception - staring you down 🙈 sometimes he would just STAND /SIT AND STARE almost Life less 👀 at you while you are cooking or cleaning (like a malfunction robot with a clitch) you can feel those EYES BURN THROUGH YOUR BEING😔
My narcissistic ex-husband was as far on the Evil Spectrum as you could go. He plotted to murder me because the psychotic cheapskate didn't want to pay for a divorce. Take my word for it, living with these types is as dangerous as it gets. Make your plan and get out as fast as you can!
Yes, make your plans, but make them in secret. You can never have a normal divorce with a narcissist as they will do all that they can to hurt you.
@@sharipeterson1126 Trust and believe if you have kids they want to be part of your life forever not in a good way. They wait for opportunities to get you and warp your life because you got away and set boundaries! Love pervails with you but you must take a hard stance with them, you dont play with evil!!
yep
@@sharipeterson1126 It goes without saying that you tell the evil clowns next to nothing about what you plan to do. Be as smart and crafty as it takes!!
You are very lucky, well done.
Thankyou Dr C, for using the word EVIL. People don't want to use that word but it gives clarity just calling behavior by correct word. I appreciate it.
Amen
Amen again 🙏
The Devil LOVES euphemisms.
@@bobtaylor170 So true. Anything to confuse and deceive.
Address it head on.. Yes people dance around the subject rather than calling it out.
Don't give them all this power. IGNORE them.
The best advice there is for one living with a narcissist - but one must stay strong absolutely all the time. Never give up and never give in.
@@buffalogal9139 thank you. 👍
Easier as an independent adult..not so easy as a developing child tho
Correct forget them and move on look at ur meeting with them as a lesson.
I work in the same place with my ex narc, fortunately I don’t have to speak with him and I completely ignore that piece of 💩 but my days are so draining, I feel exhausted and my eyes are always burning😢
The cold dark eyes and face distortion when they are in a rage is terrifying.
They hate when you don't fear them also.
Eyes change and mocking
I totally agree that they know right from wrong, but they deliberately choose wrong. They also don't care if they hurt people.
In fact they get downright giddy when they contemplate killing someone. I've seen these evil jerks in action and they are some of the worst people to walk on the face of the earth.
@@joanngross786 I'm all too familiar with the way they get giddy about killing someone, I've seen it from my twin. In April 2018 he threatened to shoot me with a .22 caliber pistol upon arriving in town because I wouldn't drop everything, fly out to him, drive him in his car back here, and fund the whole 2 day trip with no reimbursement. I heard a sick joy in his tone as he went in graphic detail about how a .22 LR bullet ricochets inside the skull, turning the brain to mush. It doesn't, but that's a common myth. A few months later he got a small .380 pistol. The next time he threatened to shoot me, he just as joyfully explained how the bullets expand first then send 6 pieces of metal in separate directions to create deeper wound channels. The third death threat came a couple months later, and that time he followed through with it, breaking into my home with his third gun, a .357 Magnum revolver. I heard him spinning the cylinder and clicking the hammer between faking leaving by stomping between the kitchen and my bedroom door, waiting a few minutes to see if I'd come out. After a couple hours he finally gave up and left. I broke down 2 weeks later and finally got my concealed carry license. He's tried again in public and at the homes of family but has yet to get a single shot fired. Now he lives pretty far away, but I'm constantly worried that he might randomly come back to try again. I still plan to leave the state whenever I finally can afford to, even if not for fear of being killed just so people stop mistaking me for him and thinking I share his mindset and reputation.
@@hypnoticbacon17 Dealing with evil relatives is such a heavy burden. God help us! I personally have a good security system for my house and a reputation in my family that I refuse to put up with their psychotic behavior and will use 'any means necessary' to protect myself. Stay under the protection of the Father, I do. God bless you.
Remember to pray for both protection and deliverance from the evil one.
The eye change is something. In narcs, psychopaths, really dark. The eyes switch
Some of my relatives voiced this when he would show up at their homes looking for me. They said over and over again about his DARK eyes! The whole family got PEACE bonds!
Choosing wrong over right is the unforgivable sin.
When you realize and/or accept that someone you thought was a friend is actually a narcissist who was “love bombing” you and actually hates you.
They covet who you are. And that is hate itself. Covetousness.
It's a big lesson to learn. Thank you Brenda. This is for you 👍✌🍀🎉
My ex best friend is a narc, took me almost 10 years to really see it for what it is. It hurt a lot realizing how much I let her get away with
When you find out that the person you think is a friend is actually a malignant narcissist. He is trying to deceive you. He is very popular and charming. Has lots of friends. So no one will believe you.
The most evil and insidious thing about them is that they seemingly have no limit or depth to their depravity. Nothing is off limits, nothing is sacred. And they don't take days off.
And the covert ones are SNEAKY
They are pure evil. They break up families, call you childish names, scream in your face like a crazy person, then say that you are the problem and they are the victim.
We all need to take psychology in high school and into college to make better choices
My narcissistic former spouse worked for a church for many years. He was respected and admired. No one in the congregation even suspected what happened when our front door closed.
My ex is a member of his church worship team. The true definition of wolf in sheep's clothing. Makes me sick knowing he twists the word of God to fit his own narcissist agenda.
Right. There's the public persona, and then once behind closed doors, the real him/her.
Thanks to all of you who truly understand. Helps me to know that I am not alone!
It's a carefully crafted public image that is hard to explain to others what he is really like behind closed doors. And forget it you can't explain to those pompous christians that really don't want to know that things are different.
Those are the worst ones! I call them (The pretenders) what they show is a fake , they live in a false identity .
Narcissism....an adapted/adopted attitude by an ever escalating evil society.
Maybe
They hate you because you stand your ground and do not go for their evil tactics, and their mind games. They will also double down and get extra mean but you stay strong and stand in love, respect, and kindness.
Oh so true, inside many of them they are just scared little children and try to control everything as a defense to their fear. An observation.
My soon to be ex husband is an evil monster! I have never felt so much evil & hatred coming at me! I cannot believe how deceived I was by him & I thank God He is delivering me from this nightmare. 🙏🏼
OMG just a little while ago I was talking to my brothers and said those exact words about my husband. No one has ever made me feel as bad as he’s made me feel. I’ve never encountered anyone like him before this that’s probably why it took me decades and coming across these videos to understand that I wasn’t crazy it was him. God bless you
Jennie
Peace and love to you.
My ex husband became even worse when I became a born again follower of Jesus Christ! (The demons in him, I guess), he screamed in my face "You can have your Jesus or you can have me!!! Choose!" I stared right back at him and calmly said "I choose Jesus" and he practically started foaming at the mouth! That was the end of our marriage, thank the good Lord!
@@SarahlabyrinthLHC I’m so sorry! Glad you’re getting out & God exposed to you who your husband really is.
@@mollybrewster288 I am so glad He gave me the strength to get out of there! My life is so very much happier now. I hope all is going well for you!
My narcissistic father passed away and my narcissistic older sister ramped up her narcissistic abuse. I had no choice but to go no contact. Not dealing with that shit any longer!
This is a very thought-provoking, supportive broadcast. Evil people can get under your skin, do not let them get into your soul. I believe that is their goal.
I believe it is the goal too.
@@vickioliver1098 True ~ it's all about power & control
ABSOLUTELY,💯%,ONCE THEY CAN OBTAIN CONTROL OF YOUR SOUL THEY GET TO RULE YOUR LIFE.
Very very difficult when you have a narc parent. It is hard, but necessary to leave a narc parent but until you reach the age where you can, you are going to have lots of abuse if you resist them.
@@l.5832 You can call social services and report the abuse and your fears. Tell them you could be badly hurt for reporting your narc parent. Social services will investigate what you are telling them, but remind them if you stay at home, it could become dangerous for you. You are in my prayers.
One of biggest problems with the psychological business is their unwillingness to acknowledge that humans are often evil in their motivations.
A therapist told my husband he should forgive and understand his abusive narcissistic mother. I said "why?" for her to push his trauma aside with this dismissive crap was unacceptable.
Read the books by Dr. W Scott Peck, psychiatrist. He speaks a lot about evil.Particularly the book "The People of the Lie". The Hope for Healing Human Evil. He has written several books on narcissism and the evil involved.
Hes lucky to have you.
I disagree. Psychologists know darned well that there are evil people out there. It's called mental illness.
@@middleofnowhere1313 I think understanding and forgiveness are two seperate things. I can understand others motivations, but that doesn't mean I will get along with it and before forgiveness comes an authentic apology.
Our marriage counselor told me that M enjoyed hurting people, but he derived his greatest pleasure out of hurting me. I cried and said, “but he’s my husband.” He told me I would never have the kind of marriage I wanted and deserved, and the biggest barrier to us having a good relationship was M’s personality. This video hit the mark for me. Thank you, Dr. C!
We are nothing more than prey to them.
Wait!? U found a counselor that knows what this is and didn’t tell u to “be nicer” or “go on more dates!?” PLEASE send me the number! Lol - funny but sad am I right?
I have concluded that (Satan) who's very name means Father of the Lie is:The Original /
1st Narcissist...ever.
He forsook his place with arc angels...why?
Because he became enamored
with his beauty. Felt (he) deserved to be worshipped/ not GOD.And he felt superior to GOD ALMIGHTY in everyway. If that isn't narcissism, you tell me what is. So, it is no wonder why these
people find it so easy to be evil.
@@vice2pro I know! I was very lucky. He diagnosed my ex.
@@sherrymalueg2342 INCREDIBLE & BEST explanation of narcissism --- i'm out free for almost 2years now ONLY BY THE GRACE OF MY LORD JESUS CHRIST !!! TY LORD!!
•~•so; ANYONE in this situation, i just want to encourage YOU --- YOURE STRONG & YOURE BRAVE- CRY OUT TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST & ask Him to lead you & guide you on HIS PLAN of YOUR ESCAPE...HE DID IT FOR ME----🙏praying for ALL being oppressed by "the narcissist" ..... With CHRIST ALL THINGS ARE POSSOBLE....
**i left walking with one bag of things & my miniature shih tzu and Nov 23 will be 2years....I BELIEVE YOU & BELIEVE IN YOU🙏❤ YESS YOU CAN ....SENDING MUCH LOVE TO YOU!!!!!
Every time I am attacked, I usually go up to my room and on a cold winter day pull the covers over me and listen to the Doctor. I thank the Lord, finally I am not alone. I can identify it now.
I do exactly the same. It’s such a great comfort knowing you are not alone
stay strong and become stronger, those cowards will get just what they deserve!🔥🔥🔥
Maybe that's why you see exorcists demanding that the demons tell them their name. Once we have a name for these things (C-PTSD, structural dissociation, etc.), we can start to separate ourselves from it and heal from it.
So different from when I was a kid, I was on an island looking through the World Book Encyclopedia for answers. The Web is an awesome tool, for good or ill, -all the choice of the users.
I'm hoping that one day, listening will lead to action. As the saying in the movie Shawshank redemption...get busy living or get busy dying because that is where I am at right now. Be strong and be gentle with yourself. Knowledge is power use it wisely.
Without a conscience guiding you ~ Its mostly evil that you'll do.
Displacement equals projection. Stay far far away!
Well said
Im 55 and my mother's 87. I have only just woken up to the fact that she is a covert narc. I grew up hearing her trash my father and telling us he was a narc and so many lies about him. He never spoke bad about her, i just believed everything she said. My sister would tell me what my mother was like but i didn't believe her. My father and sister have now passed and i see it ALL. I can't believe i was so blinded. She showed us zero affection, spent no time with us and she never told us she loved us, just that she had sacrificed her entire life for us. Now that they are gone she is feeding off me and all the memories of my childhood have returned. She is so evil and i want her out of my life but the empath in me won't let her be lonely. I really don't know what to do 😢
Intentional meanness. Intentional harm to others. Intentional disregard of feelings. Intentional ignoring of civil behavior. Inability to see the world in any way that does not serve them. Total disinterest in others unless it can be played for gain. No interest in any subject that does not bring them pleasure. Sick responses to other's pleading them to stop. Determined to carry out their agenda, regardless of the cost to others, and sometimes even themselves. Always feeling they will pop like a cork to the surface of the water, regardless of the circumstances.
Yes, the evil is hidden until their mask slips ....I'll never forget the day my mother-in-law let her mask slip and I saw the real her. Once their mask slips you can't unsee the evil behind the facade. And no amount of forgiveness or the passing of time will erase what you now see as plain as day. The day her mask slipped was also the day I had to let go of the false notion that she actually loved me, so that day was a real double whammy for me.
So many of us have experienced the exact same, you're not alone, not crazy, not at fault, as old MIL would have you believe. Stick around long enough (simply become part of the narcissists family as you did) and they cannot maintain the mask that long or that much, or they simply don't care as you are just another victim ensnared in their evil games now.
I'm not unsympathetic, and you sound as if you're a warm and fine person, but it's only a mother - in - law.
@@bobtaylor170 Not to argue because there are different dynamics in every family, but a mother-in-law can be an important figure who is present at all family gatherings and has much influence over other members of the family. I certainly would not want to be the target of an evil minded MIL. It could potentially spoil every single holiday and other family event.
@@ErmUhOkFine yes, I probably spoke thoughtlessly. I have never been married. I know at least one hilarious story about the MIL of one of my aunts.
I’ve been surrounded by narcissists all my life. Both parents, 2 siblings, a husband and many so called friends. Recently the mask slipped from an over 20 year friend. Yikes! So ugly. I’ve gone no contact and now I’m grieving the loss of the masked
person but repulsed by the true one. She was trying to love bomb me but there’s no way I can go backwards.I’ve blocked her. I’m on Team Healthy!
I was married to a narcissist and it was a living breathing hell! He was a miserable human being and there were times I actually felt sorry for him, but the best thing I ever did was leave him!
Narcissist men always have women that are loyal to them. That's why they say girls love "bad boys", which is just a cute term for an evil man.
The tragedy is that there are children being exposed to this hostility and, often, cruelty. It's extremely harmful and you spend your adult life in repair. Keep your goodness!
@@mthomas3547 I am one of those. It is extremely damaging to the mental and emotional development of the children. I am 57 and still trying to fix myself. I thought I was doing fairly well until recently, my life started falling apart, and I realized I wasn't healed, but had been employing coping mechanisms to live a somewhat "normal" life. I now see that I still have shame at my core, low self-esteem, an almost constant feeling of not being good enough, distrust and sometimes fear of authority figures, depression and anxiety that have now gotten so bad that I can barely function, fear of being happy, distrust of all people, something close to hoarding disorder, self-isolation, insomnia, and the list goes on. In the past few years, though, thanks to Dr C and others like him, I have learned more about the causes and effects of narcissistic abuse, as well as other issues like emotional neglect, than I learned in my entire life before that, even being in therapy off and on for most of my adult life. Thank you Dr C, and everyone else who makes these educational videos!!! You are saving lives and improving the quality of life for so many people, many of whom may not have access to other sources. Keep up the good work! You are much appreciated!
I've had to deal with a narcissistic mother and narcissistic ex husband. The pain and conflict they created in my life lingers on in me years later, barely resolved. The conclusion I've come to is that narcissists are mentally ill and refuse to acknowledge that they need help.
Mental illness can be helped with medication and therapy. Narcissism is a deeply ingrained personality trait and those cant be cured. That’s why no contact is so crucial.
They are to some degree though NPD as the name says is a Personality Disorder, but not considered mental illness I don't believe. It is considered a Personality style or some such, but a rose by any other name... Technically or not, what they are and do is evil, cruel, twisted etc. especially to their closest family members, imho that is mental illness.
@@taralohman6492totally agree!
@@taralohman6492 it is still a mental illness. It can be helped with therapy if they are willing
Mentally ill people don't want to be ill or hurt others. Evil people want to hurt and destroy the light in your soul.
They really don’t manage to hide the evil very well. It’s almost an energy they give out.
I remember the first time I realized he enjoyed seeing me in pain. We were having one of our stupid, circular arguments and I was crying and defending myself, once again. When I looked at him he had a smug grin on his face. I was startled and confused, but I knew he was enjoying what was happening.
Listening to your UA-cam has given me so much validation. I never felt so understood. Thank you!
Same
Same here too.
My children were hurt by this evil. That is the deepest regret I have in my life.
There was a day when my ex had bought me a T-shirt with some saying on it (I don't remember the saying). I wore it out of gratitude for his 'gift,' and watched as he smirked at me. It took a little time to realize that the saying on the shirt was an implied insult to me, so that when I wore it, it was as if I was accepting his negative view of me. I never wore it again.
To buy someone a 'gift' that is actual an insult - because you 'love' them. Demented, sick and evil.
many of us have experienced the exact same, the coiner of the term malignant narcissist or the 'inventer' of NPD called them "the quintessence of evil" we call my Dad TIKI (TQE) now.
This is the best word for what I experienced with the covert narcissist, evil. Evil at its core.
Sorry you had to deal with that, but sounds like you got away. My sister is currently married to a covert narc.
Yes exactly
I know an overt narcissist who is an absolute master at convincing everyone that his victims deserved what he did to get back at them. A mutual friend saw him as a good person who had suffered abuse and was simply hyper-sensitive. I disagree. I think the narcissist knows how to spin a tale so that only he is the victim.
Whenever a person voluntarily creates pain and suffering in others, this is evil and narcissists do it all the time. They choose to inflict pain and enjoy watching people suffer because it gives them the feeling of having power and superiority. I thank God for people like you dr Carter❤ God bless you❤
💯
Prayer is 🔑 to surviving a narcissist! You’re going to need a lot of prayer during this healing journey!
i agree. i believe God delivered me from the relationship. i was so frustrated and confused didn't know what to do. i cried out to God, and asked Him to take care of it for me, since i was at my wit's end. i woke up the next morning, and He gave me my answer: "block her." i did and He guided me to the right people and information to help me start to see clearly out of the fog. still working on keeping her blocked, unblocked her three times. i am healing though. God bless you.
Religion is not the answer for everyone.
No contact is the way.
If that works for you, that's great. Not being religious, I don't find that useful at all. Nothing works for everyone.
They have never healed one completely. They are Mentally ill. They don't care for anyone. They thrive on abuse.
My narcissistic husband of 38 years loves when he succeeds in destroying me emotionally. He loves when I am so depressed that getting out of bed is a struggle. He feels strong and superior. He is poison. He is evil and he turned people I love against me. I feel very lost and super lonely.
I can truly relate. My youngest son has made false allegations that I hit him, abused him as a child and that my husband knew about it. Nothing could be further from the truth. He was very privileged, even into adulthood as we financially helped him and his wife buy their brand new dream home just 6 years ago. We've been estranged since the Covid which was hard, but now they have a new baby, our only grandchild and I've not met her, only seen pictures. I am devastated. Utterly heartbroken. My husband is trying to work something out, I've been praying and praying for intercession for them both. I've had a lot of rejection in my life but this is a whole new level of pain. 💔💔
Please take care of yourself, while there are many dark days to find your way out, treat yourself with kindness,love, and gentleness eat properly, sleep. It's a journey it's also a journey you are worth making for. I'm 9 months into it, after 25 years of marriage. I'm choosing me, Please do the same and choose yourself. You've seen the best of whatever they have. Xx
Leave him…. He’s destroyed you long enough, don’t give him the power to hurt you anymore. I was with my narc husband for 36 years, looking back, I honestly don’t know how I put up with all the abuse!! Well, wait… maybe I do, they have a great talent at making you think it’s ALL your own fault!!!!
Get away from him ASAP…he WILL destroy you
My EX husband would not stop with the word salad and crazy making until I was so exhausted and the FIRST TEAR WAS SHED. THEN he silently slithered away as though satisfied . Sick . Evil. Thank your stars , or GOD , you did not marry into a family of Narcs !
I’ve realized a few years ago my Narc mother actually has an evil demon she unleashed on me. That part of her comes out if she doesn’t get her way at the exact moment she wants/needs validation and control. It’s very scary to witness.
Sometimes you can even see their face distort or twist with hatred or rage.
There's definitely an element of the satanic in narcissism. When you give up your true self, who are you giving it up to? It's quite tragic, because the person who gave up their authentic self only did so because they never wanted to be hurt ever again.
mine too.
@@jeanetteshawredden5643 i've seen that. Some ppl think they are shape shifters cause it's so shocking to see.
@@jeanetteshawredden5643 yes. I see that. Her chin goes up and her green eyes go dark. Scary.
There are no boundaries with a narcissist. They best one can do is to get out of the relationship especially a marriage.
It is time to acknowledge the spiritual aspect of narcissism. It is demon infestation.
Yup, and they know they're headed to hell.
They are possessed and want to possess
I’m praying God release my daughter from the demonic influence. In Jesus mighty name! AMEN 🙏
@@Nanasfsw get her away from that person asap
I would agree with you totally @@hilarysimpson3725
REMEMBER: WICKEDNESS FEARS RIGHTEOUSNESS. 😊😊😊
Thank you! Must remember this.
Right. The evil are paranoid cowards. They are afraid of the Righteous. 😍
Yep. They also call good evil and evil good ...
That is why they hate us so much. They see our goodness.
@@troyannbladsacker1811 Know that they are in conflict with themselves. It is that inner torment that keeps them in turmoil.
Prior to educating myself on NPD, I called out an (overt narc) acquaintance who was bragging about mistreating a group of, yes in fact, Bible study members at my church. I asked her to please not do that again, to have respect for others beliefs & journeys. Her exact reply: "I disagree. I don't care. I'll do what I want." That's when I saw it - evil.
Sounds like my wife, what was she doing?
It's all about them.
Have an acquaintance like this also. She and her husband blew up at the pastor and his wife then moved 500 miles away. Didn't even care about the effect on their 9 and 10 year old kids and said so explicitly
@@nmc1859 Ha! I had the reverse of your story....the pastor and his wife blew up on myself and my family and moved 500 miles away without regard of how it left us in our church family...Pastor's can be some of the most narcissistic people out there.
@@theirmom4723 yes i imagine they can be. When they are good and non narcissistic they touch so many lives for the better. I had one pastor this. He helped so many people, as did his loving wife. God Bless 💖
The smirk. That tells me all I need to know about the pleasure my parents derive from the pain they cause others.
I didn’t stop talking to my mother to punish her. I stopped talking to her so she couldn’t punish me anymore. Pure evil she was.
Most succinct explanation of no-contact I’ve ever heard. Very Last time I talked to my mother she told me not to come to her funeral when she dies.
LOL.
Mine was also. Didn't know till a family member said that when I was 6 months old mom tried killing me. No wonder I'm never been a fan of water. she was rotten to the core.
The truly sad part is so many narcissistic people have places of authority in churches. Their act is so good that other people trust them who don’t live with them. In truth though they are shallow and all their spiritual act is simply that, an act.
@Donna Fox Davis, Yes, I know someone like this, who paints herself as a pillar of the community. A lot of people have her number, though, and she doesn't even realize it!
Amen
Now I know what it means in the Bible when Jesus says at the judgement get away from me I never knew you
@@shaneerasmus2591 Hope you don't think your being a " good person" will get you accepted.
My cousin sends me two Christian sermons from the 2 churches he attends at his regular home and his vacation home. He knows I am a different religion and have asked him to not send these. I just delete them now. There is no getting through to these people.
Hit the nail on the head Jerry when you said they have low self esteem. When I was young I completed a Dale Carnegie Leadership course and invited my oldest sister to the class breakup. My sister decided to get up in front of the class and said her piece then said I'd gained self esteem from the course. She also recorded it and when I watched it she'd deleted the part that meant a lot to me. My family have always been jealous, spiteful, deceitful etc leaving me to pick up their pieces (like moving their belongings into new properties, using me as an emotional dumping ground) while they traveled and attended gatherings whilst posting them on Facebook. I got no invite to my sister's wedding or my younger sister's either. I wasn't even invited to my son's 21st!!! Actually I wouldn't be surprised if my son is married now since I haven't met my 2 grandchildren aged 5 & 1 years old. I have been invited to my narc mother's birthday at the end of the month though which my son i haven't seen in 8 years is attending. I'm over their evil and they only invited me this time for show. My story goes on and on and I shouldn't be alive, but am. Having a strong faith in God since I was a little girl has pulled me out of their evil plan. Thank you God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost for saving me ✝️💜❤️
The most difficult part of healing for me, from narcissistic abuse, has been the inability to comprehend how my honesty and kindness failed to thwart my ex's evil.
Your goodness 'feeds' the narc. They see them as weaknesses to exploit. And the kicker - they know how to be kind and loving, because that's what they do to get you hooked. Er go, they CHOOSE to be evil to you later on. Because...boredom? Entertainment? hatred??
@@Hawaiiansky11 So right, thank you! Such a tough lesson to learn, and a trauma to heal from.
Didn't make a dent, hard for us normies to understand that type of person. I believe conquering the evil of Narcissm will be a major societal focus soon, I hope.
They weaponize the good grace in you against you. Example: they lie, cheat you, etc. knowing you value understanding, compassion, forgiveness, being slow to anger, etc. they take advantage instead of reciprocating.
I think a lot of the cause of narcissistic abuse is the fact that the narc has grown bored with you…they no longer want or need to impress you, they no longer need anything from you, the thrill of the chase has well worn off, they have you!!! You are now a thorn in their side! They can’t be bothered with you, can’t be bothered doing anything with you that they don’t like, they will make up excuses so they don’t have to do or go anywhere with you and if they do go somewhere with you, first fall out, it gets cussed up, like many other things do. These horrible human beings don’t deserve to be happy, they are evil, cruel and nasty, deliberately hurting good, decent, loving people.
When you call them an evil person and they laugh at you then you know they are proud of being evil.
That is the foundation for sadistic treatment.
Yes they mock, they laugh, i have seen their eyes change - black from blue, the last one had yellow eyes after a rage , due to being narcissistically injured, not golden but yellow
I saw the evil spirit once. Face contorted into an evil snarl. Sharp fangs. Green glow coming from the mouth, nostrils, eyes, and ears. Pinched myself a few times, looked away, shook myself…each time saw something worse. Prayed!!!
I have seen this sort of thing in my father's face, the one I thought loved me in the toxic family even though his actions didn't show he did. I guess it was my desperation growing up with a totally evil mother who incidentally also used my 2 sisters as flying monkeys. All have attacked me in every way. I hope they rot in hell
I was very relieved to read your post on this contortion, I haven't come across it before in learning about this and thought my mind was playing tricks on me. Couldn't believe my eyes but I'll never forget it, how frightening it was
@@staratlast I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me too, which is why I pinched myself several times, looked away, blinked and looked back.
I saw my mothers eyes turn black! it IS a real thing..
Evil is exactly what narcissists embody. They set themselves up as gods, above reason and logic beyond the ethics and morality that flow from reason and logic. Woe the person who works for one and suffers the reference written by one! Thank you for revealing a horrific truth.
spot on. God Bless You .
Well said. When I asked my dad what was bothering him when he was ignoring me he said that I was cornering him and that he didn't have to explain himself to anyone. Didn't care what I thought, didn't care if it was unreasonable. Lacking empathy and a conscience allows this.
My ex said that he is God and afterwards said clearly it was a joke. Make me wonder sometimes
They're always the victim, and you the villain.
Well said
I can see the evil in his eyes. I can see the pleasure he gets from hurting me. It’s horrific. God bless you Dr Carter
They're terrified of anyone being happy around them. Your happiness is their terror.
They don't mind evil people being happy. It's the good people that they hate to see happy.
This is right on time, Dr. C. The evil is getting thick around us. I just keep my little light burning.
Even the smallest light overcomes darkness and shines bright. Lets keep shining so we can light up others' candles too. 😊 Bless.
🕯🔦💫
Amen!! Keep shining🙏🏻❣️
❤🌹
that is all we can do
❤🎉KNOW YOUR VALUE! STAY AWAY FROM EVIL !!🎉❤
I recently read the books, “The Sociopath Next Door” and “Outsmarting the Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout, a psychologist. She proposes that our conscience is where love lies and based on experiences of her patients who are trying to recover from relationships with narcissists, sociopaths have no conscience and therefore no love. It is an empty hole in their souls that they try to fill with their despicable behavior toward others. Dr. Carter, thank you for your insight so people can heal and move forward with their lives in LOVE.
Excellent books that opened my eyes!!
Diana Beyer Batema,You are beautiful 😍,You don’t need a narcissist in your life….
Other good books - Without Conscience - Snakes in Suits - People of the Lie.
Dr Scott Peck was the seminal theorist that covered this in People of the Lie.
It took me 30 years to figure out that my son was a narcissist. I always had a million and one excuses to defend his behaviour, but I I lived with him and his wife for several months and it was a terrifying ordeal. His sense of self entitlement, the gaslighting, toxicity, grandiosity and arrogance and total lack of empathy was overwhelming. He hid his true character from me for a very long time. Turns out that I caused 80% of the problems in his life and he had a strong suspicion that I had some undiagnosed mental health issues. The situation was not good for his mental health? I have cut off all communication with him and can say in all honesty that setting these boundaries has set me free. People tell me to get together with him to work our differences out. What’s the point? They are always right.
Nice try narcc
My step mother was a sadist. She needed to be in control in all situations in the home. Once she and my father got too feeble to live alone, my step brother moved them into an assisted living home two time zones away from me. My step mother died within 30 days of the move. It seems she could not survive if she was not in control. A year later my dad moved in with me and my husband. We took care of him for the last 7 years of his life. First time I had a chance to speak to him without interruption. First time in memory my dad looked happy!
I’ve seen the darkness, the blackness, come over the eyes of both my dad and my h. It leaves you broken.
I just realized after 26 years of marriage, this man has constantly fought to tear it down. For the 1st 15 years I dealt with him looking and leering/lusting after women especially very young girls. They’ve always responded with more flirtatious behavior as his outer appearance is very attractive. He chose people without boundaries apparently. The last 10 years he has inappropriately flirted with friends and family members. For this last year, I’m numb and not in love. Today my eyes are open and I realized I can’t do it anymore. It’s not worth the headache.
Helpful thank you, why I said we are run by a planet of narcissists & evil people, the injustices of many 😊🧚🏻♀️🦄🕊️🎵💚🌎🧿
This message is incredibly important in this society. I have been the target of deeply evil people in my family of origin and in my teaching career. I have fought the good fight with them all, but never gave back evil for their evil, feeling to do so would lower me to their level and I would become no better than them. I am 76 and as I look back on my interesting life I am so happy I pursued this path. Evil is pandemic and those who encounter it have a choice how to respond. My advice is to go no contact and eliminate the predators an opportunity to cause you pain. Thank you for this wonderful message!
Yes, there is a lot of evil in the teaching profession, starting with the credential process. How sad for the kids.
Hi, Mary,
Great message! These people are extremely ill or worse. No matter the exact definition, as empathy we absolutely need to go no contact and ever relent for any reason whatsoever.
How uplifting to think that we can win by trying to be good.
You are so right! Vindictiveness, I've learned, is what narcissists do. It's an evil practice.
I've felt that, that I have to stay on a different path than the abusers since I was very young. Thanks for your very clear statement of this. It's been hard not to doubt sometimes, but I'm grateful to have stayed with that and finally be able to acknowledge that what I saw was wrong, and actually evil.
I developed my working definition of evil from the narcissist in my life. "Evil seeks to usurp the agency of another to feed their own ego."
and that self-satisfied laugh . . . . . .
She could hold a grudge so long, she didn't even remember why she was angry, just that she was and it was the fault of the person with whom she angry.
They say you are abusing them when they have abused you all your life.
I'm seeing these horrible evil traits in so many people.😰
There are more and more of those wherever they come from.
Gaslighting Is Pure Evil, but they don’t care.
Truth, I thought I was the unstable one but realized it was him and the evil within them
They are so good at gaslighting you… such a cruel thing to do! And they’re supposed to love you! Not a chance, you don’t treat people you love like that.
I really hope and pray that after 37 years with ex narc that KARMA gets him… was with him from the age of 25-62…. Been separated six months..,I’m still a nervous wreck, anxiety is awful, confidence is zero, sometimes I really feel I don’t know who I am, I don’t feel as if I’m living in reality, I’m hoping all these feelings will eventually pass but I think it will take a long time… 37 years of being subject to narcissistic abuse has taken it’s toll.
Yes. That evil smirk, accompanied in my case by a foaming at the mouth. 😢
Both my mother and sister tic most of the symptoms off of NPD. They are both off the charts as far as Hare's Psychopathy Checklist goes. I truly believe that being raised by a person such as this is like being raised in a cult. The smear campaigns and flying monkey attacks are mind numbing. I'm glad that my mother is dead and that my sister is over 1,000 miles away from me! It's even sadder that I feel like that!
I can absolutely relate to you. I am in exactly the same situation.
I don't think it's sad that you feel that way at all. I'm glad you found some relief and that you don't have to pretend anymore at all. Playing their game in any way is draining.
I can also relate. I feel relief that my mother is dead and my sister moved across the United States. In June divorced my husband who has Borderline Personality Disorder. I am in the process of distancing myself from other toxic people in my life. My boundaries are on steroids at this season in my life. I have a strong, healthy safe support system. I am 62 years old and finally have a sense of safety and peace. God bless you Dr. Carter!
@@donnamadson5584 It's scary how we unconsciously gravitate towards those who are similar to people in our family of origin.
@@snowbear1877 some respond to being raised by narcissists by becoming empowered by narcissism in themselves, others adopt the opposite extreme and gravitate towards narcissists and serving their needs. Both are unbalanced.
We are born with the knowledge of good and evil. Learning how to cope with this knowledge is the primary goal of life. The narcissist believes in only themselves then use evil to serve their interests.
We can’t combat darkness with darkness! We must fight it with love.
Pride is a deadly sin.
Pride comes before a fall!
Indeed.
To expand, pride is at play when a narcissist assumes superiority, considering themselves having Diety power to “punish” in any way or extent they feel is appropriate.
They ALWAYS think of themselves first (and usually exclusively). It is their pride that excuses their own behavior, even while they exert “justice” upon any who would defy them.
@@aaronkwolfe Yep. The bigger they are, or make themselves big. The harder they fall👍
My sister-in-law's pride just about equals Satan's pride. She is never wrong about ANYTHING! And oh how she loves to talk! She will talk for hours about her favorite subject-- herself! Woe to you if you try to get a word in. She easily dismisses the pain of others as inconsequential. Since her colon ruptured in late December 2023, she has said she is not helping her disabled brother anymore: he has awful diabetes and considerable trouble with his feet. She said she'll just look after herself and that he can just die. He is my son's daddy. I wish I could get him out of there and care for him. She has him in thrall and doing the majority of the housework when HIS doctor says he must stay off his feet to get well. She has him in servitude. I just PRAY TO GOD that He gets my son's daddy out of that situation. Oh, and she has demons inside her. Her brother and our son , they are TERRIFIED of her. By myself I can do nothing; but with God's Help, much can be accomplished.
I wasted so much time being confused. Wish I heard this 20 years ago. 🙏
That's the perplexing thing about narcissism, it's evil is adaptable- it can as subtle, nuanced or sporadic as it needs to be. Initially it slips by, but that evil is always present in some form.
That’s true. It also indicates clearly that the narcissist is fully conscious of what they are doing. It’s willful.
@@Booboonancy Genesis 3, the fall of man : Now the serpent was more crafty (subtle, skilled in deceit) than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And [a]the serpent (Satan) said to the woman...
I should always remember to be grateful that I've been free for 15 years. He actually enjoyed my pain!
Good for you🤗😍
I have been free for over 4 years now. It feels so good.😍
I don't know how you can explain it other than evil. Been through it, seen it and can't unsee it now.
Its sad to say, but my mother was at the most extreme end of evil. Once she hit her 80's, she became more and more evil. Before that, there were times, though rare, that she would be somewhat pleasant at times. By the end, those times were long gone. She took pleasure in hurting me and my brother. I could not understand how a mother could act that way and say the things she would say with their own flesh and blood. I am a father of 3 and there was no way on Gods earth that I could ever say ANY of the things she said to me, to any of my children! I would never be able to forgive myself or ever look at myself in a mirror again. Yet, she did it as easily as can be. It got to the point that me and my brother used to say that maybe we were dead and this was hell, Because we couldn't imagine anything being worse that the daily pain and horror we dealt with from our mother. She finally passed a year ago and life has improved 1000%. Me and my brother are still working on the PTSD episodes and things that trigger awful memories, but we are doing very well. I implore anyone going through the horror we went through.....Get away from that person!! Go no contact. Don't make the same mistake we made and stick around because we felt we shouldn't abandon our elderly mother. Do it for your health - mental and physical - and do it for your sanity!!
Similar situation. I’ve been no contact for going on 3 years. Best thing I have ever done for myself, my wife, and my daughter. They are poison to your life and your soul. Run!!!
I concur, I tell everyone the same, you cannot change them, help them, and you will only be damaged and saddened. Congratulations on your better life, you made it! People cannot understand any of this feeling towards a parent if they haven't experienced this type of incessant abuse and torture.
Only Jesus can help these individuals. I believe this is demonic , that the person is possessed by a demon or demons. That these people are empty vessels being used by Satan! Sad
We do need to pray for them to be delivered
We need to forgive them always for our sake! God says we need to forgive our enemies and pray for them always. Matthew 5:44 KJV- But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.
Killing the spirit of the kind, loving person is what makes it so hard to heal from this trauma. They are so good in the beginning that’s what you focus on. They’re mask or act stops when you call them out. He was trying to micromanage me all the time, they won’t tell the truth, apologize or communicate in a mature way. It leaves you conflicted, and foggy especially when they also devalue you. Telling the truth being genuine, transparent should be easy. I’m still healing and it was only a few months thank goodness I was able to get out and had my own house and finances it breaks my heart for people out there that don’t have resources.
Identical experience.. What a time, 7 months of games, drama & lasting trauma.
As One Here, of my whole life
Well done Kylie I travelled across the world to be with my husband. I ignored the red flags because I wanted to believe in true love and the happiness ever after.... now I am in hell.
I have had the misfortune of having known two evil narcissists, and I can honestly say that they scared me.
I had the bad luck of knowing two as well. One was covert other malignant.
My narcissistic sociopath use
To teach me a "lesson" I still have a difficult time with that phrase. Instant anxiety
Duh flashbacks😮
I'm escaping my narcissist soon, but man it has been a rough road. You are exactly right.
Best wishes to you, Todd.
@@SurvivingNarcissism I dont think I'll ever escape the covert its like I don't want to very strange
@@petediamond7263 I understand what you are saying but I doubt it’s because you don’t want to escape. More like pity and/or fear are at play here. Take care.
@@Booboonancy You're a whack job!
@@petediamond7263 😳
One of your most powerful. As a person learning more and more about the narcs in my life,the use of the word evil is no exaggeration. Increasingly, as I direct certain individuals in my past and present life I grow sad at my naive evaluation of so many individuals .yes ,the word could only be evil....thank you dr Carter for your couage..and powerful faih