At this time, it can also help to tell your loved one that it's ok to let go. When my dad was at this point, I was talking to him and I told him it was OK to let go, that I had everything under control, I believe that although they are in that state, they can still hear us. 5 minutes after telling my dad it was ok to go, he took 2 HUGE, snoring breaths, and then he passed. Yes, it was very traumatizing. However, when I looked back upon that moment, I was very glad that I told my dad to let go.... we love you and what you do for our UA-cam community, Julie! ❤
This is exactly what I told my dad too. He passed less than 5 minutes later. They definitely hear us, even though they are unresponsive. My condolences to you.
Yes, this is so important. Thank you for posting this. I’ve taken care of a few relatives with terminal illnesses, as well as residents in a senior assisted living center. I witnessed this with my own mom as she was dying. We gathered around, said our peace, and told her it was OK to go. She passed a few minutes later after struggling for a few days. I’ve seen the phenomenon multiple times since then. Death is physical but it’s of course also psychological. People do hold on for their loved ones and they sometimes need that “OK” to let go. They need to know you’ll be alright. I find this to be true especially of parents.
God bless you! 🙏❤️ don't be afraid❤️ i was close to die three years ago, and it was a very calm, I was not afraid, I felt an enormous calmness, and I was ready to let go.. but suddenly I was back! I havn't been afraid of dying since that experience.
@@G-WhizsWorkshop Jesus conquered death and promises life eternal with Him for those who put their trust in Him. Death is defeated and merely the door that leads to eternal life. Trust Jesus and He will give you life an peace and He will always be with you!
My brother died of cancer in 2022. It was a long, gradual decline over more than two years, and then a nosedive. One night he was picking out flooring for the house he was having built for his wife. The next day he was unconscious. Our mother arrived from out of town and started talking to him. He opened his eyes, looking clear and lucid. He turned and looked at her and said, “Hey!” He then closed his eyes and slipped back into unconsciousness. That was the last time he was conscious and the last word he ever spoke. He died in his sleep that night. It somehow seemed fitting that the first person he probably saw when he was born was also the last person he saw before he died. RIP, Richard. ❤
My heart goes out to his mom. Beautiful to be there for his first breath. Crushing to have to witness the last. As a mother I pray I don't live to see any of my children die. 💔
When Dad was in hospice he didn’t want to die until I arrived from out of province. When I got to his bedside I told him I was here now and he could finally stop fighting and took his last breath. Miss you every day Dad ❤️
@@Julie-g2w I lost my mom on 16 September 2017 ---- Its absolutely BRUTAL...... As a guy I hardly ever cry....... Damn , I would be sitting in a restaurant with my wife and remember my mom and I went there a couple years back and just start crying.
It helped me so much to watch your videos while my mother was going through this a few months ago. My mother had her eyes closed and she did not make that gurgling noise. It was quiet, calm and seeing her take that last breath and knowing she had just stepped into Heaven and was finally with her Lord and Savior was very special to me and brought me so much peace. Thanks for what you do, Julie❤
My mom just stopped breathing ... no gurgling death rattle ... She was 87, so peaceful her passing , no pain, no cancer, no condition ....🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏I thank the Lord!!! ❤
@@TheFluffyPeacock I had a very similar experience My mum went to see Jesus with the song - The Holy City playing which was one of her favourite songs 🤗🙏
Julie I watched your videos after my dad was placed on hospice to understand what exactly was going to happen. He was home and went peacefully on the morning of Sept 12. With your videos I knew exactly what to expect and do. I hope you realize how special you and these videos are. He was only on hospice 2 and 1/2 weeks. Thank you from the bottom of my heart❤️❤️
My mother died in my arms. Just me and her. It was the most precious, dare I say glorious moment of my life. I could feel my father's presence and told him that i loved him. Thank you Julie, for helping others have precious moments.
It’s hard for some people to realize how precious that is. I was with my mom and holding her hand when she died. I’ve always said that it was the most precious and peaceful moment of my life.
My beautiful Mother went through the agonal breathing and it looked scary, but, after it was over I realized she was in labor birthing herself into her next life. Scary became a most important lesson. I KNOW she is safe, happy, and in a good place. ❤
I have often likened the process of dying with that of giving birth. It is amazing how you have articulated the process. I thought I was the only one with this belief. Thank you
Mom passed from dementia on the 9th of September. A few days before, she became lucid and knew exactly who I am (her daughter)❤. This was a beautiful time I had to spend with mom and I will remember it forever ❤She went on hospice in June. I found you in June ❤ and I watched your videos everyday until she passed. Julie, thank you so much for guiding us through the process of death. Mom’s death was peaceful and we were not afraid of what we were going through with mom. Mom’s hospice care team was amazing with the care given. We held her hands and talked to her after she took her last breath. I knew she could hear us so we told her to fly high❤Thank you Julie for everything you do ❤ Mom is at peace now.
@@StsFiveOneLima your a precious person and you matter . Be the strong fighter you’ve always been, we fighters fall and then RISE until we can’t fight anymore. Find that fight and don’t let it go
For ones that have to see their loved ones going through this I give my heart to you. I found my father who was terminal in his apartment. Death is never easy to watch or walk into. Julie, I would like to say. Since I’ve come across your videos. I have a better appreciation. You are great at what you do. Thank you ❤️
I’m so grateful for your channel. Almost 2 yrs ago exactly the first time I had first hand experience with a loved one dying and on hospice. My uncle had stage 4 cancer. As soon as he got the diagnosis I knew he’d be passing soon. I should add he was 80 at the time. Anyway once it was coming close to his time to die his nurse at the nursing home called me saying she had noticed mottling. I had never heard that before. Anyway you’ve helped me understand the things I saw, heard and felt were all normal. One thing I haven’t heard you talk on… is when my uncle was out of it he’d all of the sudden “wake up” surprised or shocked. I’d just rub his hand and tell him it’s ok. You’re ok. And he’d fall back to sleep. He didn’t seem like he was in pain at all. His nurses and hospice team were on it. Is this type of thing normal? Also your videos are preparing me for when it’s my dad’s time to die. He’s 80 and there’s talk about hospice being an option soon. I don’t think he’s there just yet. But I feel like if I’m supposed to be with him when he passes these videos will be a comfort knowing these things are all ok and normal. One of the hardest things I noticed after my uncle passed was realizing I still had to do life and be human. After leaving my uncle’s body to get picked up from the funeral home. My gas light came on. I was at the gas pump just thinking “is this real? Am I really pumping gas after leaving Uncle Tom?” Just crazy. Sorry for the long comment. But thank you for your videos!
Thank you, Julie because of all your videos I was able to be the caretaker of my husband and he passed away on September 3, 2024 and everything that you just described the spot on but because of your older videos I was able to watch I knew what was happeningso thank you so much
When my elderly friend passed, we were watching the colour grey moving up his legs from his feet. The hospice nurse said that was a sure sign that death was near. Thank you for your videos. They're important.
Julie, thank you for all your wisdom. I used your videos when I was assisting in the care of my father in law suffering from dementia in the last 11 years. He has now gone into eternal bliss. Your videos have prepared me with such precision. Knowledge is truly power.
My 89 y/o mother died in February and had none of those things in the last 24 hours. Her breathing was regular, she had no secretions. She was still taking sips of water (and brushed her teeth the night before!). She went to sleep at 9pm and slipped away at 6am.
😭😭reminds me so much of my dad who just passed this last Christmas. Christmas won’t be the same anymore. I miss him so much. I am so glad that we’re with him in his final moments. That we were able to tell him it was ok to go that he did everything possible here as a friend , as a brother as a husband and a father. 😭 thank you for your message nurse Julie
I truly appreciate channels like Julie’s. When my dad-in-law passed, no one knew what to do & be ready for. These channels SO MUCH!! Thank you Nurse Julie!!
When my grandmother died last month from pancreatic cancer, we were all with her in her final moments. Even though I had seen some of your videos prior (just by chance), I still felt terrified watching her die in real time. Part of it was due to how quickly she had deteriorated, and another part was that I had never experienced anything like that before...and I sure as hell didn't enjoy the experience of watching my gramma die. Her, my mom, and I were all very close, we even had a matching tattoo that we had gotten together for my 18th birthday. When I turned 12-13, my gramma and mom started taking me on back-to-school shopping trips for my birthday to get new clothes. I think about her all the time, and miss her a ton ❤❤❤
Sorry for your loss, too. My father passed away from pancreatic cancer close to a year ago. It was such a rapid killing that left our family heartbroken. Nurse Julie’s videos really helped us educate ourselves about very simple how-to’s to be present with our father and treasure the last few moments together.
Oh sweetheart 😢 I'm so desperately sorry for your great loss. My precious mam ( my best friend in the world) passed from pancreatic cancer, and it was just 3 months on from diagnosis . Pancreatic cancer needs/ desperately deserves more awareness and funding. ❤❤❤❤ It's a horrendous disease. God bless you and your family. Xxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm so sorry...I lost my mom to liver cancer April 2nd and I was not there when she passed away. I honestly don't think I could have handled it. A nurse had called me from the hospital and said that my mom was showing signs of changes in breathing and that I might want to come down and I did rush down but by the time I got there she was gone. It all happened so fast. I can't even imagine having to go through that. My mom and I were very close. Big hugs. ❤
Oh, I wish I had your videos before my mom died. I do still appreciate your videos now, and find them very comforting. It’s nice to have an explanation for the things we were witnessing. With my mom, she died quite suddenly, and went from making lasagnas and going to get togethers, to dying, in just a couple of days. I didn’t have time to even think to look into what to expect. What a treasure your videos are. Watching them after the fact has definitely helped me to feel less traumatized. Thank you!
I’m sorry about your mom’s sudden passing. It was the same with my mom, and it is so hard to reconcile for those of us left behind. Other experiences have taught me that it is better to pass suddenly than to have agonizing months and even years of bed-bound dying. Witnessing that was horrible.
When my grandmother was actively dying during COVID, no one was allowed to be there except my cousin. He sent us pictures and we talked to her over the phone. Watching your videos has taken away some of the fear of dying for me. Thank u Julie ❤️
My Dad was 93 and sharp as a tack, but he had cancer. In his last day, when we were just sitting by his bed in hospital and the Dr ordered no water etc., because death was imminent. We were all sitting around and talking about all the things he had achieved in his lifetime and how fantastic his memory was. His friends came and said goodbye. It was a beautiful,sunny day. Although it was a sad day, it was a day that I felt so close to my Dad. I am a musician and when he stopped breathing, I heard it. I said to my cousin, he’s gone and he had. Bless him. Thank you Julie for all your wisdom because I don’t think I could have faced this without this channel.
Jesus is the way the truth and the life. No one can go to the Father except through him.❤️ Knowing Jesus is knowing peace, protection and provision ❤️ Jesus saves, Jesus heals, Jesus grants peace and Jesus loves you.
I'm not too sure whether it was just me, but the biggest clue for me when my mother passed away 4 weeks ago came from my gut. I woke up that morning and said she's not going to last the morning, and I was right. At 11:34 am that morning, my mum took her final breath. She started doing that stop start breathing around 11:31 am so I put my fingers on the pulse on her neck and felt her final heartbeat. I talked her through it and told her it was her time and it was OK to let go, and that's exactly what she did. I want to thank you for your very informative videos. Even though we never knew our mum was terminally ill until 2 days before she passed away, again my gut lead me to your videos which helped me immensely through those last moments of her life. Thanks to you, I found the most heartbreaking time in my life also one of the most beautiful ones. I was calm, accepting and had a better understanding thanks to your videos, which gave me the last precious moments of my mothers life a positive (even though emotional) experience. Had it not been for watching your videos, I would have probably been flapping and calling an ambulance or something, as opposed to the more accepting, calm and peaceful final moments I got, which I will treasure forever. Thank you once again.
My 97 yr old Momma was unconsious and breathing quite normal and then the Rattle came and in one hour passed. She died in her own bedroom with me holding her hand. No suffering...I feel so blessed to had this time with her. Thank you Julie for making these videos and sharing all your knowledge. I love your videos....Bless your heart!!! OX
I just watched this 3 weeks ago with a family member. She was only on Hospice for a day. We talked to her and held her hands and smoothed her hair. It was so comforting knowing what to expect. RIP Barb
If you've never experienced this time with anyone, it can be very scary. Thanks to Julie for giving this information. It is something people should know. Dying is the last part of our lives here, so it's a natural thing. I'm thankful for having this time with my family members.
I so appreciate your education and time to make these videos. My dad died last June ultimately of sepsis, but he had lung cancer and then pneumonia. I wish I had found your channel last year. You are now preparing me properly for future deaths. You are an internet gem. I noticed in this video that there was background music. When I take in information of any kind, I find background noise distractions impair my content absorption. May I suggest no music? You do not need any video enhancements! Thank you for your invaluable information, Julie.☺💫
I was there when My Mother Passed away in Hospice. I did say that her Husband, Daughter, Mother, Brother, Sister and Family Members were waiting for Her. That everything will be alright with the ones living and that We Love Her very much. Tears formed in her eyes and even if she didn't move and had the Death Glare I know She understood. Thank You for sharing this video.
My wife's mother passed in May of this year and every single one of these things happened except for the fact that she last opened her eyes 5 days before she passed. But thanks to your videos, we were prepared for her passing and it was VERY quick and peaceful. You provide more comfort than you know ma'am!!!
I have just purchased your book. Thank you x my husband has stage 4 terminal cancer .your channel has helped me so much to support him and not be scared of what will eventually happen. The rollercoaster of emotions is awful.
Thank you for your channel. I was a funeral director/ embalmer for several years. I never saw what happened to get them to the funeral home. I learned in mortuary school that death is such a taboo in the US even in other western countries. Most civilizations actually embrace death and do not fear it. Your channel helped me understand what happens leading up to death and I don’t fear it as much knowing, hoping, that there are hospice nurses out there like you to help their patients. Thank you for all you do. It takes a very special person to do this job.
My mom left her skin 3-7-24. In so many ways you helped me prepare for her time to leave. I thank you for all you do for family and friends and their loved ones ❤
I’m so glad I found your channel. You have no idea how helpful all of your videos have been in my journey with my husband, dementia and cancer. It made his hospice at home care easier in the sense that I understood what was going on thanks to you and your all your very informative videos. Not that it was easy but I understood thank you again and God bless you for what you’re doing.
Thank you Julie for all of your videos. Your education on what to expect, brings some comfort during these hard times. Especially to see the patients “actively dying” or doing “agonal breathing” etc. …… cuz it’s one thing to hear these things described via words, but to see it happening in real-life situations really helps
My mom had agonal-like breathing for several days but only at night, then the last day of her life she was quiet and peaceful and stirred like she was trying to wake up. She looked ethereal and beautiful.
Ohhh Julie how I wish this had been available years ago! My Daddy died in 1993 from pancreatic cancer and when he hit this stage of dying I panicked! I wanted his Hospice RN to “fix” him. This stage made it real for me and I was Not ready for him to go. Thank You for this video!!
My dad died of cancer on Aug 27th, just 14 weeks after walking into hospital with back pain. He remained at home for the duration of time he had left, and watching your videos bought me a sense of comfort for what to expect as his time drew near. He experienced all of the signs you speak of in this video, but because your videos had prepared me for what to expect, I was able to focus on being there for him at the end with a sense of calm rather than worrying about whether things were "normal". Thank you so much for making these videos and making a difficult time that little bit easier to understand 🙏❤
I was there when my mom died at home of cancer a few years ago. I didn't know what agonal breathing was, and it scared me. God bless you for teaching us about the "graduation" process. ❤
My mother was fully conscious the last 24 hours. She had her “rally” and was able to say more goodbyes and was fully awake but unable to speak when she passed . Was able to hold her hand and comfort her (she was fearful of de@th) at that moment. It Is very humbling to be able to speak to and watch as someone dies. I was so moved that I now exclusively do hospice vigil work. It’s a tougher, as I’m on call 24 hrs and most of my clients are vets who are alone in the world and live in care facilities. I’m there so they don’t have to die alone.
Thankyou for the exceptionally kind work you do. My mum has been discharged from hospital to pass away at home. She is still eating breakfast lunch and dinner but sleeps for the rest of the time. When she sleeps her breathing is very odd, so I have no idea what to expect minute to minute, hour to hour. She is calm, comfortable & not in pain.
Thank you for the work that you do for those who have no one to sit with them as they leave this life… Just a question: do you pray with them as you sit by their side?
My Dad hadn't been at the cottage in 20 years. We convinced him to go and he passed away this first morning there. My Dad and my Grandpa and others built the cottage. Couldn't have been a better place to go.
Thank you, Julie. Having been through this with my parents, I still struggle.with feelings of panic and loss. But your wisdom and kindness always brings me relief. You are an angel.
I laid in bed with my partner as he was dying and watched him breath his last breath, very hard to do but actually very normal for me to want to be there with him so he wasn't alone. He had that gurgling breathing and it was scary knowing any moment he would be gone but I told myself that mo matter what happens I'm going to be by his side, and I was. I was silent for the most part, respecting the sanctity of it all rather than prattle on about our lives, he lived it and knew it already. But it was important for me to just be there and let it happen. I was there for him and in the moment it was all about him and not how it was affecting me. When he passed I didn't wail and moan but definitely was calling his name, checking for a pulse etc. It's a tough thing and is still hard. I'd like to think when he left his body he could see me there by his side. In some way it was an honor to be there at a loved one's last heartbeat out of billions in a lifetime. The finality of it all is the worst part, as hard as it was to be there for his passing I instinctively knew his absence forever would be harder.
My Life Partner (Jackie) died August 11, 2024, a little over a year after a badly-botched heart valve replacement surgery. She was killed by the medical system that she trusted so much. We had such a perfect life together until it was over, now my heart and my home are beyond-empty.... devoid of Jackie's sounds and energy. We met on a bike ride 10 years ago. We ended with me on the phone with 911, attempting chest compressions until EMT's arrived. A few weeks prior to her death, I called 911 to have her taken to the hospital where they diagnosed sepsis of the blood caused by an infected heart valve. They kept her there for a couple weeks but, the way I see it, they sent her home to die (a week after discharge). As the video notes... her breathing would get really labored, sort of like an asthma attack without any mucus-sounds. She told a close friend she knew she was dying. But her family (and me) kept hoping she would recover.
I am carrying for my brother rite now I am very scared..but you are the only one I have said that to I will get threw this .at least I keep telling myself this .thank you for your story,scott
@@SunriseLAW Condolences . The medical system was probably responsible for the heart issues in the first place if they had given him the jabs...Sadly most people are just finding out the real truth and sinister agendas...
When my grandma was passing, in hospital, she was medically sedated. Eyes closed mouth open. We talked to her about all the inventions she'd seen in her lifetime. We shared our live and memories. Held her hand as I talked and sang near her head. She squeezed my fingers. I knew she heard me. The nurse came in and said your sweet Grandma was a big baby taking 40 hours to birth... she's going to take her time exiting. She noted that everytime we came back in from small breaks or meal all her up hate rate oxygen would increase. at one point when the gurgling sounds started I panicked, asked the nurse can you do anything like suction her throat out.... and Grandma forced her eyes open and squeezed her lips closed. I knew that she knew she was soon passing. I reasurred Grandma that I would respect that and that I understood she was ready to let go. When the three of us said our goodbyes to Grandma we said there isn't anything new to hear about. We love you. You are free to go. We told her we were going to walk out to our room and blessed her. She passed as we were walking back to our room. She didn't want to miss anything and wanted our blessing to go on. I miss her dearly. This was 25 years ago. I new nothing of what you talked about here back then. But I know they can here. And I eager await our reunion one day. She taught me scrabble game. I always wait for her to call and want a game.
Thank you for another candid, compassionate video. All of this information helps me be less scared of my mother's upcoming passing. And the stories in the comments of your videos are so beautiful and full of love.
Thank you for your channel, I've been watching it for the last 18 months trying to prepare for my mom's passing as she had stage 4 ovarian cancer. It helped me so much. All of these signs were within my mom's passing. She passed on the 14th August this year at home.
Well the last moment of my Dad passing away..... my Mum had held his head as he felt puking and then he said to my Mum that I am going, closed his eyes and took two shallow breath and he was gone. He fought his stage 4 Pancreatic cancer for 9 months but after 4 chemo sessions his body could not take it further. He was 72 but he lived each moment of his life. Enjoyed life and I cherish his memories :))
Nurse Julie, thank you, thank you for bringing such a complex topic to a level we can all understand. This is a heavy topic and frightening and confusing for most people. But when we hear you talk about it, we somehow feel peace. And you comfort us in knowing that this is a natural thing that we all will go through eventually, Thank you.
Thank you for talking people through this stressful time in their lives. You are helping to take the fear out of being with your loved ones when they are dying. You can't take the pain of the loss away, but you sure make the end experience more normal and manageable.
Great presentation, Julie. This information was right on, as I witnessed when my wife passed. I think your suggestion to keep talking to them is very important, even if they can't answer. It is so cathartic and allows you to express your love and know they can understand its depth. Alan E. Diehl, PhD (retired research psychologist)
I’ve done direct care and worked in the ER. At Mass Eye and Ear we only had one code. At the other ER some evenings there were multiple codes. There was not any of this. It was the 1980s and people just didn’t start CPR on the scene. That is changing. I still felt lose even though I didn’t get to know any of them. This type of nursing suited me. I had previously worked in the nursing home and became attached. I’m so glad you’re there for them and loved ones, and us. Thank you for teaching us ❤❤
I watched a lot of your videos last year as my aunt was dying. It helped me as her caregiver so much. I educated my family also. Thanks for doing these videos. It helped us give her a peaceful goodbye. ❤❤ I learned so much about the dying process. Thanks again.
My husband had brain cancer and passed away while at a hospice facility. The last 24 hours, he was heavily sedated and never woke up. However, his breathing was normal and he didn't appear to be in any distress. The only indication that his passing was imminent was the hospice nurse telling me his extremities were cold, she said that was a sign. The nurse finally put him on his left side, not sure why, but very shortly after that, and despite the sedation, he opened his eyes and looked directly at us. He actually looked contented, not afraid or in any distress, then he closed his eyes. The nurse felt his pulse and said he had passed.
condolences.. i got a question for myself, can't doctor just put you in something like coma until you'll die from disaese so you won't be scared to experience it while being awake? is like terminal sedation allowed for someone whos scared and wants it?
I was a hospice nurse some too and when our mom was dying I tried to teach my sisters but they wouldn't listen and it ended up a bad death for mom and just selfish insane blaming me awful stuff we don't speak still! I always taught family all of it because it is soooo important!
Great video. Death in this country is a hard topic to cover. People are afraid to deal with it. Thanks for helping people overcome a natural process of life.
I went through this with my Aunt first, My Mother In Law second and now am about to go through this will my oldest and closest cousin who has liver, kidney and bone cancer. I thank you for these videos Julie. Being prepared is essential. The modeling of the skin was shocking for me but now I know its normal. They say not to touch the person as it feels uncomfortable for them but I'm not sure about that. I think it's important to give them permission to cross over.
Hello from Belgium, my mother passed away a year ago exactly and I had promisses her I would be by her side. It was written in her medical file at the nursing home she was in. They never called me even though some signs were clear as written in the famous file. I was her only child, my father died 5 years ago. We were both alone and sticking together. After the shock of the cold phone call to tell me she had passed away, after all the formalities for her funerals, I'm in very deep anger they did not call me to tell me to come, and I will never forget that these people did not take into account what was written in the file. They took away my ability to keep my promise, and she passed all alone. So sad and so angry ever since. I feel like they've stolen this one so very important moment from us.
I am so sorry for your loss. That said you have got to let it go! Your mom knows exactly what happened and I promise you she may have been disappointed but not regretful. She was and now is in a place that she knows what happened and that it was not your fault. She is with you, I believe that with everything in me. It was not your fault and maybe it is what was supposed to be. You are loved! I have faith that you will be comforted. ❤
@@jacquesummers4766 thank you so much for your comforting words. They mean a lot to me and went straight to my heart. I will keep them in my mind and try to follow your advice. Thank you so so much.
Thank you nurse Julie. Sat with dad in hospice. Unfortunately mom just passed without warning. The difference in grieving was major, for all the family.
Julie, my dear friend passed away 3 weeks ago. Because of your videos I understood exactly what I was seeing. Everything you talked about happening in the last 48 hours was present. It helped me to be prepared. Thank you for what you do ❤
I got your book Julie and I can’t wait to read it. You’ve helped me so much in understanding different aspects of both my parent’s deaths. I am forever grateful. 🙏
This video is very helpful. I watched videos by doctors who were CEOs of hospices when my wife approached the end of her life, I knew what to expect. She slept more, she ate less, and she spoke less. It gave me a good means of coping at a difficult time. But my adult kids did not want to watch them. Everyone is different I guess. But the hospice doctors mainly gave her midazolam as the end approached. She had MS for 26 years and was unable to ambulate the last 15 years.
When my Dad was dying of cancer and in the hospital I would stay until his nurse would come in and he would be able to sleep, he was still eating and watching tv and before me and my Partner left all of the sudden I got this overwhelming feeling that the room filled with people it was a feeling I never will forget, I gave him a kiss and he watched tv and I left, I got the call that he passed, he was one of 13 kids and I think they were there to take him home. It was strange but it made me not scared when it’s my time.
My mom was on home hospice this past July and she died on the 24th. She went through everything you mentioned. During the period when she unresponsive both my sister and I keep telling her that we loved her. My biggest hope is that she heard us and understood. I'm thankful that her family was there, and she didn't die alone and never had to go to a nursing home. I'm not ashamed to say this video brought back the tears. Love You Momma.
My Nan was from Australia and came here as a war bride at 16. She was hanging on and we wanted her to be out of suffering. I played the Australian national anthem over and over and suddenly she went peacefully. The open mouth was prevelant at the end as well. Thank you for educating us. I started following you when Nan was hanging in so I’d understand what was happening.
I write this at my dying fathers beside. He has been suffering for so long. In the past week he has become terminal and not able to talk or respond to us. He is now on a morphine pump and its a waiting game now. I have been watching your videos for the past few days and its really helping me get through this time. Im so heartbroken . I keep praying that he goes peacefully and the noisy breathing doesnt happen. Its so scary. All your comments have comforted me as i know im not alone. This is the hardest thing ive ever experience in my life. Thank you for this channel. I wouldnt be as calm as i am if i hadnt found you all ❤
Hello there, keep talking to him. He can hear you. Pray for him as though you walking with him to the pearly gates. Sing for him even after he stops breathing.....you are doing the right thing for both of you. God will richly bless you....
I wish I would have seen this kind of content before my sister passed of colorectal cancer. Thank you for your educational videos. My heart goes out to you and all hospice nurses who see death all of the time.
My father passed away last month. Your videos helped me so much. My mother and I were with him. I had the privilege of holding his hand as he took his last breath. I thank God for you because watching your videos helped it be a special experience, rather than a scary one.
My mom was in hospice for 2 weeks. We were all at my sisters house knowing it was time w family and friends having dinner. We got a call that she was close, we rushed to her side and she later passed around midnight w me by her side. It was very peaceful.
I watched another of your videos where you talked about agonal breathing and I think of often. You said they seem like they are suffering or struggling but they are not. You mentioned to look at their face - it would be calm with no signs of agitation. I was unable to be with my Mom when she died because it was during COVID. She had only been in the nursing home for five days. The hospice nurse was with her when she died and it was wonderful to know she was with someone who cared. Thanks for all you do
I wish there was sometime like you to talk to about my 84 yo mom who is declining but not terminal, not in hospice. I feel like I'm going to find her passed away and the dread is very stressful. It could be years from now. I feel all alone.
Ask your primary care doctor for a referral for therapy; dealing with the decline of a parent is very stressful! I've been living with my mom for the past 10 years -- she's 98 years old now, and declining -- she has good days & bad days. Her appetite is unpredictable. Her sense of taste and smell are kind of haywire, & it causes her to reject foods she has enjoyed in the past. I'm seeing a therapist weekly because she helps me process my stress and frustrations. Then I can return home and support her better. I expect to find mom passed away in her sleep any time. Today she slept long hours & didn't wake till about 4 pm. I check on her (of course) throughout the day. She complained today that she was up during the night several times to use the toilet & it disturbed her sleep. Her days & nights are getting mixed up. She said she dreams about dad a lot, about the time when they were young. (He passed 34 years ago.) Mom expects to "get well" or "get better"....she does not realize how much she's declined in just the past 4 months. It's hard to watch. I'm a retired RN.
I had a patient that loved her flannel jammies ...they had her in a hospital gown at the end of her life as they do with all those who are actively dying. I went in to give her a bed bath and I put her Jammies on her and her ponds face cream...her family was so happy to see their Mom all comfy and warm looking and said she smelled like she always did (the ponds cream) .The patient passed away a few hours later. Management told me I overstepped my boundaries as the funeral home expect hospital geri gowns. l happened to see the undertaker that picked her up and I apologized for her being dressed and they said they've never specified what the body should be dressed in. l went straight to management and told them they needed to rethink their archaic approach to dying. We also always crack the window in the room when someone is dying ...anyone else do this or just us old school nurses?
My mum passed in April and you helped me so much. Mum had the pause in breathing only minutes before she passed but prior to that she just had rapid breathing for hours. She went very peacefully. ❤❤❤❤
I'm so glad I found this channel. I'm scared of death after watching my 49 yr old dad die of stomach cancer when I was 19. This channel has been sooo helpful
I’m sorry that you lost your Dad at such a young age…just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to fear death when you’re assured of where it is that you’ll be going…take care
My dad's hospice doctor here in Canada told me that based on everything she has experienced as a hospice doctor, that consciousness survives death. She didnt say this because she was religious. She was a very smart woman who was an anesthesiologist before she became a hospice doctor. So many hospice workers, based on their experiences, come to beieve that there is something beyond death, i wonder if they can all be wrong?
Thank you so much for sharing all of this. Your videos have been so enlightening and reassuring. I've been having lots of conversations with my family. Some of our talks are quite uncomfortable, but necessary. I just bought your book and look forward to reading it.
Thank you for your educational video about death. This makes me stronger to get prepared for my aging mother as I am her only care taker, your video give me strength and emotional support when time comes. I agree with you, we have to make them clean and comfort. It is my personal wish to give her the best comfortable departure. Thank you
At this time, it can also help to tell your loved one that it's ok to let go. When my dad was at this point, I was talking to him and I told him it was OK to let go, that I had everything under control, I believe that although they are in that state, they can still hear us. 5 minutes after telling my dad it was ok to go, he took 2 HUGE, snoring breaths, and then he passed. Yes, it was very traumatizing. However, when I looked back upon that moment, I was very glad that I told my dad to let go.... we love you and what you do for our UA-cam community, Julie! ❤
So sorry 🥹 glad to know they are in peace now❤️
I told my dad the same thing. I told him he could let go. We were fine and Mom was waiting for him.
This is exactly what I told my dad too. He passed less than 5 minutes later. They definitely hear us, even though they are unresponsive. My condolences to you.
Yes, this is so important. Thank you for posting this. I’ve taken care of a few relatives with terminal illnesses, as well as residents in a senior assisted living center. I witnessed this with my own mom as she was dying. We gathered around, said our peace, and told her it was OK to go. She passed a few minutes later after struggling for a few days. I’ve seen the phenomenon multiple times since then. Death is physical but it’s of course also psychological. People do hold on for their loved ones and they sometimes need that “OK” to let go. They need to know you’ll be alright. I find this to be true especially of parents.
I said the same thing to my mother.
I am terminally ill and terrified of death, your videos are actually helping me to not be as scared and i really appreciate that!
God bless you! 🙏❤️ don't be afraid❤️ i was close to die three years ago, and it was a very calm, I was not afraid, I felt an enormous calmness, and I was ready to let go.. but suddenly I was back! I havn't been afraid of dying since that experience.
@@birgittaruthberg8343 my underlying disease(esld) does not really grant me the ability of having a peaceful death
🤍🤍🫂🫂
Hope everything works out good for you
@@G-WhizsWorkshop Jesus conquered death and promises life eternal with Him for those who put their trust in Him. Death is defeated and merely the door that leads to eternal life. Trust Jesus and He will give you life an peace and He will always be with you!
My brother died of cancer in 2022. It was a long, gradual decline over more than two years, and then a nosedive. One night he was picking out flooring for the house he was having built for his wife. The next day he was unconscious. Our mother arrived from out of town and started talking to him. He opened his eyes, looking clear and lucid. He turned and looked at her and said, “Hey!” He then closed his eyes and slipped back into unconsciousness. That was the last time he was conscious and the last word he ever spoke. He died in his sleep that night. It somehow seemed fitting that the first person he probably saw when he was born was also the last person he saw before he died. RIP, Richard. ❤
That last sentence is beautifully put.
My heart goes out to his mom. Beautiful to be there for his first breath. Crushing to have to witness the last. As a mother I pray I don't live to see any of my children die. 💔
I'm so sorry for your loss! They do respond to love & that's what he did.
How old was he?
@@lisamccullough5150 60
When Dad was in hospice he didn’t want to die until I arrived from out of province. When I got to his bedside I told him I was here now and he could finally stop fighting and took his last breath. Miss you every day Dad ❤️
The same thing happened with my Grandma
@@lisettemacdonald281 I miss my dad every day too. Nothing can prepare you for the death of a parent.
@@kenckman1359 so sorry about your Grandma…….it’s sooooo hard😢
@@Julie-g2w that’s a fact
@@Julie-g2w I lost my mom on 16 September 2017 ---- Its absolutely BRUTAL...... As a guy I hardly ever cry....... Damn , I would be sitting in a restaurant with my wife and remember my mom and I went there a couple years back and just start crying.
It helped me so much to watch your videos while my mother was going through this a few months ago. My mother had her eyes closed and she did not make that gurgling noise. It was quiet, calm and seeing her take that last breath and knowing she had just stepped into Heaven and was finally with her Lord and Savior was very special to me and brought me so much peace. Thanks for what you do, Julie❤
My mom just stopped breathing ... no gurgling death rattle ...
She was 87, so peaceful her passing , no pain, no cancer, no condition ....🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏I thank the Lord!!! ❤
@@TheFluffyPeacock
I had a very similar experience
My mum went to see Jesus with the song - The Holy City playing which was one of her favourite songs 🤗🙏
Julie I watched your videos after my dad was placed on hospice to understand what exactly was going to happen. He was home and went peacefully on the morning of Sept 12. With your videos I knew exactly what to expect and do. I hope you realize how special you and these videos are. He was only on hospice 2 and 1/2 weeks. Thank you from the bottom of my heart❤️❤️
My dad died on Sunday, the 15th. I came on to write the same thing you have written. Sending love and compassion to all who are grieving.
My mother died in my arms. Just me and her. It was the most precious, dare I say glorious moment of my life. I could feel my father's presence and told him that i loved him. Thank you Julie, for helping others have precious moments.
How wonderful that you and your mom had this experience!
Talk about a full circle life ⭕️ 🤲
That's so beautiful ❤️
It’s hard for some people to realize how precious that is. I was with my mom and holding her hand when she died. I’ve always said that it was the most precious and peaceful moment of my life.
That's beautiful...So precious for you and your Mum..💓💓💓💓...
My beautiful Mother went through the agonal breathing and it looked scary, but, after it was over I realized she was in labor birthing herself into her next life. Scary became a most important lesson. I KNOW she is safe, happy, and in a good place. ❤
That’s beautiful ❤
That’s a wonderful analogy! ❤
I have often likened the process of dying with that of giving birth. It is amazing how you have articulated the process. I thought I was the only one with this belief. Thank you
@@jennexxer what a wonderful way of thinking of dying as "labor and beautiful". Thanks for sharing 😊
Thank you for that. A great way to frame the experience.
Julie is angel and all who work as Hospice Nurses! Thank you Julie
So thankful for the Julies of this world.🤗
Mom passed from dementia on the 9th of September. A few days before, she became lucid and knew exactly who I am (her daughter)❤. This was a beautiful time I had to spend with mom and I will remember it forever ❤She went on hospice in June. I found you in June ❤ and I watched your videos everyday until she passed. Julie, thank you so much for guiding us through the process of death. Mom’s death was peaceful and we were not afraid of what we were going through with mom. Mom’s hospice care team was amazing with the care given. We held her hands and talked to her after she took her last breath. I knew she could hear us so we told her to fly high❤Thank you Julie for everything you do ❤ Mom is at peace now.
I refuse to die of dementia.
@@StsFiveOneLima 🙏
@@StsFiveOneLima your a precious person and you matter . Be the strong fighter you’ve always been, we fighters fall and then RISE until we can’t fight anymore. Find that fight and don’t let it go
For ones that have to see their loved ones going through this I give my heart to you. I found my father who was terminal in his apartment. Death is never easy to watch or walk into. Julie, I would like to say. Since I’ve come across your videos. I have a better appreciation. You are great at what you do. Thank you ❤️
I’m so grateful for your channel. Almost 2 yrs ago exactly the first time I had first hand experience with a loved one dying and on hospice. My uncle had stage 4 cancer. As soon as he got the diagnosis I knew he’d be passing soon. I should add he was 80 at the time. Anyway once it was coming close to his time to die his nurse at the nursing home called me saying she had noticed mottling. I had never heard that before. Anyway you’ve helped me understand the things I saw, heard and felt were all normal.
One thing I haven’t heard you talk on… is when my uncle was out of it he’d all of the sudden “wake up” surprised or shocked. I’d just rub his hand and tell him it’s ok. You’re ok. And he’d fall back to sleep. He didn’t seem like he was in pain at all. His nurses and hospice team were on it. Is this type of thing normal?
Also your videos are preparing me for when it’s my dad’s time to die. He’s 80 and there’s talk about hospice being an option soon. I don’t think he’s there just yet. But I feel like if I’m supposed to be with him when he passes these videos will be a comfort knowing these things are all ok and normal.
One of the hardest things I noticed after my uncle passed was realizing I still had to do life and be human. After leaving my uncle’s body to get picked up from the funeral home. My gas light came on. I was at the gas pump just thinking “is this real? Am I really pumping gas after leaving Uncle Tom?” Just crazy.
Sorry for the long comment. But thank you for your videos!
Julie, as always, thank you for your comforting words and straightforward approach to dealing with death.
I hope I go quickly, I don't want a long drawn out thing.
Seen so many suffer, had to fight with doctors to allow us to give more meds. Make sure your family knows what you want, in writing as well.
just let a hot girl sit on your face
I hope I go in my sleep at old age.
Same here..
Thank you, Julie because of all your videos I was able to be the caretaker of my husband and he passed away on September 3, 2024 and everything that you just described the spot on but because of your older videos I was able to watch I knew what was happeningso thank you so much
Condolences 😢
@hmarie7069 My condolences to you.
I’m so sorry for your loss 😢 💐💐💐
So sorry for your loss of your husband. That day was my 47th anniversary
You are such an amazing speaker, natural, so wise, gracious, beautiful soul! Thank you for your knowledge ❤️
When my elderly friend passed, we were watching the colour grey moving up his legs from his feet. The hospice nurse said that was a sure sign that death was near. Thank you for your videos. They're important.
Julie, thank you for all your wisdom. I used your videos when I was assisting in the care of my father in law suffering from dementia in the last 11 years. He has now gone into eternal bliss. Your videos have prepared me with such precision. Knowledge is truly power.
My 89 y/o mother died in February and had none of those things in the last 24 hours. Her breathing was regular, she had no secretions. She was still taking sips of water (and brushed her teeth the night before!). She went to sleep at 9pm and slipped away at 6am.
Condolences ❤
Wish that everyone could just go to sleep and not wake up, but alas that is the exception. Glad that your loved one went so peacefully.
@@janety.1323 I'm pleased your mum went peacefully 💖
@@janety.1323 Right. Not everyone experiences the same signs before death. My condolences! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
None of the things she mentioned are hard fast rules.
😭😭reminds me so much of my dad who just passed this last Christmas. Christmas won’t be the same anymore. I miss him so much. I am so glad that we’re with him in his final moments. That we were able to tell him it was ok to go that he did everything possible here as a friend , as a brother as a husband and a father. 😭 thank you for your message nurse Julie
I truly appreciate channels like Julie’s. When my dad-in-law passed, no one knew what to do & be ready for. These channels SO MUCH!! Thank you Nurse Julie!!
When my grandmother died last month from pancreatic cancer, we were all with her in her final moments. Even though I had seen some of your videos prior (just by chance), I still felt terrified watching her die in real time. Part of it was due to how quickly she had deteriorated, and another part was that I had never experienced anything like that before...and I sure as hell didn't enjoy the experience of watching my gramma die.
Her, my mom, and I were all very close, we even had a matching tattoo that we had gotten together for my 18th birthday. When I turned 12-13, my gramma and mom started taking me on back-to-school shopping trips for my birthday to get new clothes. I think about her all the time, and miss her a ton ❤❤❤
Sorry for your loss, too. My father passed away from pancreatic cancer close to a year ago. It was such a rapid killing that left our family heartbroken. Nurse Julie’s videos really helped us educate ourselves about very simple how-to’s to be present with our father and treasure the last few moments together.
Oh sweetheart 😢 I'm so desperately sorry for your great loss.
My precious mam ( my best friend in the world) passed from pancreatic cancer, and it was just 3 months on from diagnosis .
Pancreatic cancer needs/ desperately deserves more awareness and funding. ❤❤❤❤
It's a horrendous disease.
God bless you and your family. Xxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm so sorry...I lost my mom to liver cancer April 2nd and I was not there when she passed away. I honestly don't think I could have handled it. A nurse had called me from the hospital and said that my mom was showing signs of changes in breathing and that I might want to come down and I did rush down but by the time I got there she was gone. It all happened so fast. I can't even imagine having to go through that. My mom and I were very close. Big hugs. ❤
my nana died from pancreatic cancer too. I miss her so much
Oh, I wish I had your videos before my mom died. I do still appreciate your videos now, and find them very comforting. It’s nice to have an explanation for the things we were witnessing. With my mom, she died quite suddenly, and went from making lasagnas and going to get togethers, to dying, in just a couple of days. I didn’t have time to even think to look into what to expect. What a treasure your videos are. Watching them after the fact has definitely helped me to feel less traumatized. Thank you!
I’m sorry about your mom’s sudden passing. It was the same with my mom, and it is so hard to reconcile for those of us left behind. Other experiences have taught me that it is better to pass suddenly than to have agonizing months and even years of bed-bound dying. Witnessing that was horrible.
When my grandmother was actively dying during COVID, no one was allowed to be there except my cousin. He sent us pictures and we talked to her over the phone. Watching your videos has taken away some of the fear of dying for me. Thank u Julie ❤️
My Dad was 93 and sharp as a tack, but he had cancer. In his last day, when we were just sitting by his bed in hospital and the Dr ordered no water etc., because death was imminent. We were all sitting around and talking about all the things he had achieved in his lifetime and how fantastic his memory was. His friends came and said goodbye. It was a beautiful,sunny day. Although it was a sad day, it was a day that I felt so close to my Dad. I am a musician and when he stopped breathing, I heard it. I said to my cousin, he’s gone and he had. Bless him. Thank you Julie for all your wisdom because I don’t think I could have faced this without this channel.
Jesus is the way the truth and the life. No one can go to the Father except through him.❤️
Knowing Jesus is knowing peace, protection and provision ❤️
Jesus saves, Jesus heals, Jesus grants peace and Jesus loves you.
@@visigoth6781 prayers ❤️
From Canada: You are providing a great service to families Julie. The topic of death and dying has been kept under the table for too long. Thank you.
I'm not too sure whether it was just me, but the biggest clue for me when my mother passed away 4 weeks ago came from my gut. I woke up that morning and said she's not going to last the morning, and I was right. At 11:34 am that morning, my mum took her final breath. She started doing that stop start breathing around 11:31 am so I put my fingers on the pulse on her neck and felt her final heartbeat. I talked her through it and told her it was her time and it was OK to let go, and that's exactly what she did. I want to thank you for your very informative videos. Even though we never knew our mum was terminally ill until 2 days before she passed away, again my gut lead me to your videos which helped me immensely through those last moments of her life. Thanks to you, I found the most heartbreaking time in my life also one of the most beautiful ones. I was calm, accepting and had a better understanding thanks to your videos, which gave me the last precious moments of my mothers life a positive (even though emotional) experience. Had it not been for watching your videos, I would have probably been flapping and calling an ambulance or something, as opposed to the more accepting, calm and peaceful final moments I got, which I will treasure forever. Thank you once again.
What a precious beautiful gift to your mother and yourself ❤Thank you for sharing this precious moment with us💞Deepest condolences 💜
The world could use a lot more Julie's
Julie for President!
Amen🤗🤗🤗
This!!!
@@peternewhouse8827 God bless you friends
Things would have been better if she'd been around when my mother passed, we would have been informed on what was going on, with hospice
My 97 yr old Momma was unconsious and breathing quite normal and then the Rattle came and in one hour passed. She died in her own bedroom with me holding her hand. No suffering...I feel so blessed to had this time with her. Thank you Julie for making these videos and sharing all your knowledge. I love your videos....Bless your heart!!! OX
Hi Julie! It’s Dr J. I host Death Cafes and appreciate your videos very much! Great job!
I just watched this 3 weeks ago with a family member. She was only on Hospice for a day. We talked to her and held her hands and smoothed her hair. It was so comforting knowing what to expect. RIP Barb
If you've never experienced this time with anyone, it can be very scary. Thanks to Julie for giving this information. It is something people should know. Dying is the last part of our lives here, so it's a natural thing. I'm thankful for having this time with my family members.
I so appreciate your education and time to make these videos. My dad died last June ultimately of sepsis, but he had lung cancer and then pneumonia. I wish I had found your channel last year. You are now preparing me properly for future deaths. You are an internet gem. I noticed in this video that there was background music. When I take in information of any kind, I find background noise distractions impair my content absorption. May I suggest no music? You do not need any video enhancements! Thank you for your invaluable information, Julie.☺💫
I was there when My Mother Passed away in Hospice. I did say that her Husband, Daughter, Mother, Brother, Sister and Family Members were waiting for Her. That everything will be alright with the ones living and that We Love Her very much. Tears formed in her eyes and even if she didn't move and had the Death Glare I know She understood. Thank You for sharing this video.
My wife's mother passed in May of this year and every single one of these things happened except for the fact that she last opened her eyes 5 days before she passed. But thanks to your videos, we were prepared for her passing and it was VERY quick and peaceful. You provide more comfort than you know ma'am!!!
I have just purchased your book. Thank you x my husband has stage 4 terminal cancer .your channel has helped me so much to support him and not be scared of what will eventually happen.
The rollercoaster of emotions is awful.
Thank you for your channel. I was a funeral director/ embalmer for several years. I never saw what happened to get them to the funeral home. I learned in mortuary school that death is such a taboo in the US even in other western countries. Most civilizations actually embrace death and do not fear it. Your channel helped me understand what happens leading up to death and I don’t fear it as much knowing, hoping, that there are hospice nurses out there like you to help their patients. Thank you for all you do. It takes a very special person to do this job.
My mom left her skin 3-7-24. In so many ways you helped me prepare for her time to leave. I thank you for all you do for family and friends and their loved ones ❤
I’m so glad I found your channel. You have no idea how helpful all of your videos have been in my journey with my husband, dementia and cancer. It made his hospice at home care easier in the sense that I understood what was going on thanks to you and your all your very informative videos. Not that it was easy but I understood thank you again and God bless you for what you’re doing.
Thank you Julie for all of your videos. Your education on what to expect, brings some comfort during these hard times.
Especially to see the patients “actively dying” or doing “agonal breathing” etc. …… cuz it’s one thing to hear these things described via words, but to see it happening in real-life situations really helps
My mom had agonal-like breathing for several days but only at night, then the last day of her life she was quiet and peaceful and stirred like she was trying to wake up. She looked ethereal and beautiful.
The lady that I took care of for the last 6 months passed away. Your videos were so helpful in knowing what to expect. Thanks
Ohhh Julie how I wish this had been available years ago! My Daddy died in 1993 from pancreatic cancer and when he hit this stage of dying I panicked! I wanted his Hospice RN to “fix” him. This stage made it real for me and I was Not ready for him to go. Thank You for this video!!
My dad died of cancer on Aug 27th, just 14 weeks after walking into hospital with back pain. He remained at home for the duration of time he had left, and watching your videos bought me a sense of comfort for what to expect as his time drew near. He experienced all of the signs you speak of in this video, but because your videos had prepared me for what to expect, I was able to focus on being there for him at the end with a sense of calm rather than worrying about whether things were "normal". Thank you so much for making these videos and making a difficult time that little bit easier to understand 🙏❤
I'm so grateful that my mother didn't end up like that. She died so peacefully in our home.
I was there when my mom died at home of cancer a few years ago. I didn't know what agonal breathing was, and it scared me. God bless you for teaching us about the "graduation" process. ❤
This is such an important channel. So glad you are educating us on death.
My mother was fully conscious the last 24 hours. She had her “rally” and was able to say more goodbyes and was fully awake but unable to speak when she passed . Was able to hold her hand and comfort her (she was fearful of de@th) at that moment. It Is very humbling to be able to speak to and watch as someone dies. I was so moved that I now exclusively do hospice vigil work. It’s a tougher, as I’m on call 24 hrs and most of my clients are vets who are alone in the world and live in care facilities. I’m there so they don’t have to die alone.
Thankyou for the exceptionally kind work you do. My mum has been discharged from hospital to pass away at home. She is still eating breakfast lunch and dinner but sleeps for the rest of the time. When she sleeps her breathing is very odd, so I have no idea what to expect minute to minute, hour to hour. She is calm, comfortable & not in pain.
Thank you for the work that you do for those who have no one to sit with them as they leave this life…
Just a question: do you pray with them as you sit by their side?
My Dad hadn't been at the cottage in 20 years.
We convinced him to go and he passed away this first morning there.
My Dad and my Grandpa and others built the cottage.
Couldn't have been a better place to go.
Thank you, Julie. Having been through this with my parents, I still struggle.with feelings of panic and loss. But your wisdom and kindness always brings me relief. You are an angel.
I laid in bed with my partner as he was dying and watched him breath his last breath, very hard to do but actually very normal for me to want to be there with him so he wasn't alone. He had that gurgling breathing and it was scary knowing any moment he would be gone but I told myself that mo matter what happens I'm going to be by his side, and I was. I was silent for the most part, respecting the sanctity of it all rather than prattle on about our lives, he lived it and knew it already. But it was important for me to just be there and let it happen. I was there for him and in the moment it was all about him and not how it was affecting me. When he passed I didn't wail and moan but definitely was calling his name, checking for a pulse etc. It's a tough thing and is still hard. I'd like to think when he left his body he could see me there by his side. In some way it was an honor to be there at a loved one's last heartbeat out of billions in a lifetime. The finality of it all is the worst part, as hard as it was to be there for his passing I instinctively knew his absence forever would be harder.
Wow you tell it so beauuutifully!
What a great, informative video presented in a sensitive, yet direct manner! Thank you for what you do! 🎉
My Life Partner (Jackie) died August 11, 2024, a little over a year after a badly-botched heart valve replacement surgery. She was killed by the medical system that she trusted so much. We had such a perfect life together until it was over, now my heart and my home are beyond-empty.... devoid of Jackie's sounds and energy. We met on a bike ride 10 years ago. We ended with me on the phone with 911, attempting chest compressions until EMT's arrived. A few weeks prior to her death, I called 911 to have her taken to the hospital where they diagnosed sepsis of the blood caused by an infected heart valve. They kept her there for a couple weeks but, the way I see it, they sent her home to die (a week after discharge). As the video notes... her breathing would get really labored, sort of like an asthma attack without any mucus-sounds. She told a close friend she knew she was dying. But her family (and me) kept hoping she would recover.
I am carrying for my brother rite now I am very scared..but you are the only one I have said that to I will get threw this .at least I keep telling myself this .thank you for your story,scott
@@BoomerLive63 Condolences for your brother. And for you!
@@SunriseLAW Condolences . The medical system was probably responsible for the heart issues in the first place if they had given him the jabs...Sadly most people are just finding out the real truth and sinister agendas...
I wish I would have had the benefit of your knowledge when I was dealing with this. Even in hindsight, your videos are VERY helpful! Thank You!!!
Thank you, for the explanations and your sincerity, very professional, good continuity.
Julie.. thank you for all you do.. including providing us with necessary knowledge regarding the hospice and dying process ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Julie you’re a piece piece of heaven thank you
When my grandma was passing, in hospital, she was medically sedated. Eyes closed mouth open. We talked to her about all the inventions she'd seen in her lifetime. We shared our live and memories. Held her hand as I talked and sang near her head. She squeezed my fingers. I knew she heard me. The nurse came in and said your sweet Grandma was a big baby taking 40 hours to birth... she's going to take her time exiting. She noted that everytime we came back in from small breaks or meal all her up hate rate oxygen would increase. at one point when the gurgling sounds started I panicked, asked the nurse can you do anything like suction her throat out.... and Grandma forced her eyes open and squeezed her lips closed. I knew that she knew she was soon passing. I reasurred Grandma that I would respect that and that I understood she was ready to let go. When the three of us said our goodbyes to Grandma we said there isn't anything new to hear about. We love you. You are free to go. We told her we were going to walk out to our room and blessed her. She passed as we were walking back to our room. She didn't want to miss anything and wanted our blessing to go on. I miss her dearly. This was 25 years ago. I new nothing of what you talked about here back then. But I know they can here. And I eager await our reunion one day. She taught me scrabble game. I always wait for her to call and want a game.
Thank you for another candid, compassionate video. All of this information helps me be less scared of my mother's upcoming passing. And the stories in the comments of your videos are so beautiful and full of love.
Thank you for your channel, I've been watching it for the last 18 months trying to prepare for my mom's passing as she had stage 4 ovarian cancer. It helped me so much. All of these signs were within my mom's passing. She passed on the 14th August this year at home.
Well the last moment of my Dad passing away..... my Mum had held his head as he felt puking and then he said to my Mum that I am going, closed his eyes and took two shallow breath and he was gone. He fought his stage 4 Pancreatic cancer for 9 months but after 4 chemo sessions his body could not take it further. He was 72 but he lived each moment of his life. Enjoyed life and I cherish his memories :))
Nurse Julie, thank you, thank you for bringing such a complex topic to a level we can all understand. This is a heavy topic and frightening and confusing for most people. But when we hear you talk about it, we somehow feel peace. And you comfort us in knowing that this is a natural thing that we all will go through eventually, Thank you.
Thank you for talking people through this stressful time in their lives. You are helping to take the fear out of being with your loved ones when they are dying. You can't take the pain of the loss away, but you sure make the end experience more normal and manageable.
Great presentation, Julie. This information was right on, as I witnessed when my wife passed. I think your suggestion to keep talking to them is very important, even if they can't answer. It is so cathartic and allows you to express your love and know they can understand its depth. Alan E. Diehl, PhD (retired research psychologist)
I’ve done direct care and worked in the ER. At Mass Eye and Ear we only had one code. At the other ER some evenings there were multiple codes. There was not any of this. It was the 1980s and people just didn’t start CPR on the scene. That is changing. I still felt lose even though I didn’t get to know any of them. This type of nursing suited me. I had previously worked in the nursing home and became attached. I’m so glad you’re there for them and loved ones, and us. Thank you for teaching us ❤❤
I watched a lot of your videos last year as my aunt was dying. It helped me as her caregiver so much. I educated my family also. Thanks for doing these videos. It helped us give her a peaceful goodbye. ❤❤ I learned so much about the dying process. Thanks again.
You really have the Heart of an Angel ! Bless you !
“It’s one of the greatest acts of love”. Thank you for that. I needed it. 💙
My husband had brain cancer and passed away while at a hospice facility. The last 24 hours, he was heavily sedated and never woke up. However, his breathing was normal and he didn't appear to be in any distress. The only indication that his passing was imminent was the hospice nurse telling me his extremities were cold, she said that was a sign. The nurse finally put him on his left side, not sure why, but very shortly after that, and despite the sedation, he opened his eyes and looked directly at us. He actually looked contented, not afraid or in any distress, then he closed his eyes. The nurse felt his pulse and said he had passed.
condolences.. i got a question for myself, can't doctor just put you in something like coma until you'll die from disaese so you won't be scared to experience it while being awake? is like terminal sedation allowed for someone whos scared and wants it?
I was a hospice nurse some too and when our mom was dying I tried to teach my sisters but they wouldn't listen and it ended up a bad death for mom and just selfish insane blaming me awful stuff we don't speak still! I always taught family all of it because it is soooo important!
thank you for this video - a tremendous gift to family members during this time.
Your videos are so helpful. I continue to ask God’s blessings to you for sharing the experience of dying.
Thank you for this wonderful information. You are an absolute angel - giving such important information to prepare people emotionally and mentally ❤
Great video. Death in this country is a hard topic to cover. People are afraid to deal with it. Thanks for helping people overcome a natural process of life.
I went through this with my Aunt first, My Mother In Law second and now am about to go through this will my oldest and closest cousin who has liver, kidney and bone cancer. I thank you for these videos Julie. Being prepared is essential. The modeling of the skin was shocking for me but now I know its normal. They say not to touch the person as it feels uncomfortable for them but I'm not sure about that. I think it's important to give them permission to cross over.
Thank you, nurse Julie. My mother passed in my home on hospice care. Hospice Atlanta was a true blessing.
Thanks Julie I work in Assisted living 3rd shift, this is all educational for me. I appreciate you so much. And your patients. ❤ Much love God bless
Hello from Belgium, my mother passed away a year ago exactly and I had promisses her I would be by her side. It was written in her medical file at the nursing home she was in. They never called me even though some signs were clear as written in the famous file. I was her only child, my father died 5 years ago. We were both alone and sticking together. After the shock of the cold phone call to tell me she had passed away, after all the formalities for her funerals, I'm in very deep anger they did not call me to tell me to come, and I will never forget that these people did not take into account what was written in the file. They took away my ability to keep my promise, and she passed all alone. So sad and so angry ever since. I feel like they've stolen this one so very important moment from us.
I am so sorry for your loss. That said you have got to let it go! Your mom knows exactly what happened and I promise you she may have been disappointed but not regretful. She was and now is in a place that she knows what happened and that it was not your fault. She is with you, I believe that with everything in me. It was not your fault and maybe it is what was supposed to be. You are loved! I have faith that you will be comforted. ❤
@@jacquesummers4766 thank you so much for your comforting words. They mean a lot to me and went straight to my heart. I will keep them in my mind and try to follow your advice. Thank you so so much.
Thank you nurse Julie. Sat with dad in hospice. Unfortunately mom just passed without warning. The difference in grieving was major, for all the family.
Julie, my dear friend passed away 3 weeks ago. Because of your videos I understood exactly what I was seeing. Everything you talked about happening in the last 48 hours was present. It helped me to be prepared. Thank you for what you do ❤
I got your book Julie and I can’t wait to read it. You’ve helped me so much in understanding different aspects of both my parent’s deaths. I am forever grateful. 🙏
This video is very helpful. I watched videos by doctors who were CEOs of hospices when my wife approached the end of her life, I knew what to expect. She slept more, she ate less, and she spoke less. It gave me a good means of coping at a difficult time. But my adult kids did not want to watch them. Everyone is different I guess. But the hospice doctors mainly gave her midazolam as the end approached. She had MS for 26 years and was unable to ambulate the last 15 years.
When my Dad was dying of cancer and in the hospital I would stay until his nurse would come in and he would be able to sleep, he was still eating and watching tv and before me and my Partner left all
of the sudden I got this overwhelming feeling that the room filled with people it was a feeling I never will forget, I gave him a kiss and he watched tv and I left, I got the call that he passed, he was one of 13 kids and I think they were there to take him home. It was strange but it made me not scared when it’s my time.
My mom was on home hospice this past July and she died on the 24th. She went through everything you mentioned. During the period when she unresponsive both my sister and I keep telling her that we loved her. My biggest hope is that she heard us and understood. I'm thankful that her family was there, and she didn't die alone and never had to go to a nursing home. I'm not ashamed to say this video brought back the tears. Love You Momma.
My Nan was from Australia and came here as a war bride at 16. She was hanging on and we wanted her to be out of suffering. I played the Australian national anthem over and over and suddenly she went peacefully. The open mouth was prevelant at the end as well. Thank you for educating us. I started following you when Nan was hanging in so I’d understand what was happening.
Hey Julie! Saw you on Merit with Dr. Phil and Taylor O (and precious Weston). What an inspiring show and you were amazing!
I write this at my dying fathers beside. He has been suffering for so long. In the past week he has become terminal and not able to talk or respond to us. He is now on a morphine pump and its a waiting game now. I have been watching your videos for the past few days and its really helping me get through this time. Im so heartbroken . I keep praying that he goes peacefully and the noisy breathing doesnt happen. Its so scary. All your comments have comforted me as i know im not alone. This is the hardest thing ive ever experience in my life. Thank you for this channel. I wouldnt be as calm as i am if i hadnt found you all ❤
Hello there, keep talking to him. He can hear you. Pray for him as though you walking with him to the pearly gates. Sing for him even after he stops breathing.....you are doing the right thing for both of you. God will richly bless you....
I wish I would have seen this kind of content before my sister passed of colorectal cancer. Thank you for your educational videos. My heart goes out to you and all hospice nurses who see death all of the time.
Thank you. Good info. Going through stuff with my mom and I REALLY appreciated this video.
My father passed away last month. Your videos helped me so much. My mother and I were with him. I had the privilege of holding his hand as he took his last breath. I thank God for you because watching your videos helped it be a special experience, rather than a scary one.
My mom was in hospice for 2 weeks. We were all at my sisters house knowing it was time w family and friends having dinner. We got a call that she was close, we rushed to her side and she later passed around midnight w me by her side. It was very peaceful.
I watched another of your videos where you talked about agonal breathing and I think of often. You said they seem like they are suffering or struggling but they are not. You mentioned to look at their face - it would be calm with no signs of agitation. I was unable to be with my Mom when she died because it was during COVID. She had only been in the nursing home for five days. The hospice nurse was with her when she died and it was wonderful to know she was with someone who cared. Thanks for all you do
I wish there was sometime like you to talk to about my 84 yo mom who is declining but not terminal, not in hospice. I feel like I'm going to find her passed away and the dread is very stressful. It could be years from now. I feel all alone.
Ask your primary care doctor for a referral for therapy; dealing with the decline of a parent is very stressful!
I've been living with my mom for the past 10 years -- she's 98 years old now, and declining -- she has good days & bad days. Her appetite is unpredictable.
Her sense of taste and smell are kind of haywire, & it causes her to reject foods she has enjoyed in the past.
I'm seeing a therapist weekly because she helps me process my stress and frustrations.
Then I can return home and support her better.
I expect to find mom passed away in her sleep any time.
Today she slept long hours & didn't wake till about 4 pm.
I check on her (of course) throughout the day.
She complained today that she was up during the night several times to use the toilet & it disturbed her sleep.
Her days & nights are getting mixed up.
She said she dreams about dad a lot, about the time when they were young.
(He passed 34 years ago.)
Mom expects to "get well" or "get better"....she does not realize how much she's declined in just the past 4 months.
It's hard to watch.
I'm a retired RN.
I had a patient that loved her flannel jammies ...they had her in a hospital gown at the end of her life as they do with all those who are actively dying.
I went in to give her a bed bath and I put her Jammies on her and her ponds face cream...her family was so happy to see their Mom all comfy and warm looking and said she smelled like she always did (the ponds cream) .The patient passed away a few hours later.
Management told me I overstepped my boundaries as the funeral home expect hospital geri gowns.
l happened to see the undertaker that picked her up and I apologized for her being dressed and they said they've never specified what the body should be dressed in.
l went straight to management and told them they needed to rethink their archaic approach to dying.
We also always crack the window in the room when someone is dying ...anyone else do this or just us old school nurses?
Missjacquie5045, You are an angel.❤.
@@missjacquie5045 Many cultures do it. They are allowing the spirit of the individual to take flight.
My mum passed in April and you helped me so much. Mum had the pause in breathing only minutes before she passed but prior to that she just had rapid breathing for hours.
She went very peacefully. ❤❤❤❤
I'm so glad I found this channel. I'm scared of death after watching my 49 yr old dad die of stomach cancer when I was 19. This channel has been sooo helpful
I’m sorry that you lost your Dad at such a young age…just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to fear death when you’re assured of where it is that you’ll be going…take care
You my dear…are an angel walking on this earth🙏 Thank you! We humans need you ❤️💯❤️
My dad's hospice doctor here in Canada told me that based on everything she has experienced as a hospice doctor, that consciousness survives death. She didnt say this because she was religious. She was a very smart woman who was an anesthesiologist before she became a hospice doctor. So many hospice workers, based on their experiences, come to beieve that there is something beyond death, i wonder if they can all be wrong?
Thank you so much for sharing all of this. Your videos have been so enlightening and reassuring. I've been having lots of conversations with my family. Some of our talks are quite uncomfortable, but necessary. I just bought your book and look forward to reading it.
Thank you for your educational video about death. This makes me stronger to get prepared for my aging mother as I am her only care taker, your video give me strength and emotional support when time comes. I agree with you, we have to make them clean and comfort. It is my personal wish to give her the best comfortable departure. Thank you