I don't mean to sound malicious, I honestly mean no Ill will when I say this, that thumbnail picture isn't doing you any favors, I don't know if it was your intention but you look extremely smug to a cartoonish degree, idk just something I thought you should know
First of all, it's very personally gratifying to have a highlighted comment from you :D Second, I was born in the city where you apparently live! Seattle is both much better *AND* much worse than it was when I grew up.
Sorry for ranting once again - but this topic is just a bit too dear to me not to ... ;) A few things to note: - When I clenched my fists back in kindergarden and stomped and loudly DEMANDED my very own peepee ... people were laughing and calling me "such a cute little girl". - When I only hung out with the other boys, and even became the leader of my very own boys gang ... I was shamed for being a tomboy. - When at age 8 I cut my hair from calf length to a crew cut ... people were telling me "what a shame" it was that I let go of my "natural beauty". - When I mostly played with Lego and Transformers and my favourite TV shows where The Ewoks and He-Man ... my father had to convince others that it was "totally fine for a girl" to like these things. - When I refused to go to needleworks classes and instead demanded to join the other boys at home improvement classes ... I was shamed for being an "unruly girl" and spending "too much time with boys". - When I started exclusively wearing pants ... I was complimented for being a "strong girl who did not conform to stereotypes". - When I first started showing interest in the LGBTQA+ community (back then just for my lack of interest in what gender my partners had) ... my mother seemingly out of the blue started telling me stories about some of her clients. She NEVER talked about work, but suddenly she started telling me about those "sick, pathetic, poor guys who try to become women". How she was so happy that "her little girl was normal". How those poor bastards "never, ever found happiness". - When I started showing an interest in programming and IT in general ... I was discouraged to go down that path and was "gently urged" to attend business school instead (joke's on them, I graduated in business IT and became a programmer all the same :D). - When I made my career in this supposedly "male" job ... I was applauded for being a "role model, a strong woman in a man's world". - When I asked - no, BEGGED - for my ovaries to be being taken out because they kept developing cysts, and I had decided IN KINDERGARDEN that I never wanted to give birth to a child, anyway ... I was told that (at age 30) I had no way of knowing whether I really didn't want to have biological children. - When I heard for the first time (at ... something like 35???) that trans people are NOT just MTF, but there WAS such a thing as FTM ... I was told to ignore that nonsense, that it was just a couple of hyper feminists with penis envy. - When I tried to explain that in a way I actually HAD penis envy, just not in the sense that the words are usually used (heck, I "made it" in this "men's world", nothing to be envious about) ... I was unironically told to just get myself some adult toys. - When I finally came out as trans ... I was denied health insurance, because my insurance company told me that nobody "suddenly" turns trans at age 40. - And even now, when I have a whole army of doctors and therapists (and, heck, most of the people who have known me all my life) confirming that I most definitely am a man, when all of my documents have my real name on them (and the word "male", where applicaple) ... even now I keep getting told that this is "just a phase" and I will "eventually grow out of it". At 40. When I first "demanded" to get my penis at age 3. That's a 37 year long "phase", and still going strong, eh? ... Geeeeeeeeeeze, I wonder: why are there so few trans men in my generation ...?
When they told you that nobody suddenly becomes trans at 40... change the subject to health in general. Talk a little bit about nutrition. Talk about exercise. Talk about people who caught the fitness bug and began running when they were 40. And then ask: "Do you think they are just kidding themselves? No one just becomes a runner at age 40! We shouldn't sell them any running shoes or running clothes or a watch, right? We shouldn't celebrate them for finding something in life that brings them joy, right? Do you understand the parallel now, Doctor? How old are you doctor? Because I can tell you one thing. Following your logic, and applying it to yourself, the rest of your life is mapped out your life is over. You will never grow past who you are now. How does that make you feel... "Doctor"?"
Its funny bc we (trans ppl) are told by doctors over and over it WONT solve all our problems. To a point where jt is patronizing. Like yes ik ive been wanting this for so long ik exactly what it will do and what problems it will solve.b
"You can just walk into a clinic and get hormones." I wish. It's almost been a year and I haven't even gotten to see a psychologist to even consider putting me on hormones.
I guess it depends where you live. Here we have informed consent for hormones. I know people who saw a doctor once and walked out with a prescription. They were adults though. But for bottom surgery you need both a psychiatrist/therapist letter AND at least a year on HRT though.
Yeah, no... It does depend on where you live. I'm in the US in a pretty blue state and I was able to get hrt after one visit planned parenthood at 19, with no diagnosis or anything needed. I'm really sorry you're in that situation, you deserve bodily autonomy :(
What country/ state are you located in, and are you just unable to afford the meds from a private clinic? Because in the US, there are a number of these clinics throughout the country. Tbh I think many of them are irresponsible
I mean, getting birth control was pretty easy. 15 minutes in a doctors office. Then you can just walk in for years to get them at the pharmacy. Then again, I am female and the hormones are considered that as well. But for trans folks, they have to wait years. Pretty ridiculous, since they put hormones in chickens without telling us and without consent. I think you need to be 16 as transgender to get hormones here, 12 for blockers and 18 for surgery (AND having had hormones for 2+ years). Consults are probably delayed due to covid too :/
I feel like it's a lot more okay for little "girls" to do "boy" things and that they're usually just called tomboys if a afab starts dressing like a boy or cutting their hair when they're older, but amab get mocked a lot more for dressing like a "girl" and are usually banned from playing with pink stuff or Barbies, that could be a reason afab people don't realize they're trans till they're older or when they hit puberty
I find that interesting because while I was assigned F at birth i was a very feminine kid and was bullied for it in much the same way someone assumed to be a little boy would've been. I'm still trying to figure out why it happened to me, I feel like my gender is almost like someone the universe wanted to be a boy but I failed at it in almost every way (I consider myself genderqueer).
I feel like on a gender level I am probably more "boy" leaning but I don't know if that's who I really am or if I'm just so ashamed of my femininity that I suppress anything that isn't masculine. I used to repress my attraction to men because of this. Apologies for this i hope it's not trauma dumping or anything i just wanted to put my experience out there weird as it is
@@lizardabyss7035 everyone's experience is different. I'm a gay man who was closeted until I was twenty ( I'm thirty eight now) and it drove me close to suicide. Now I wouldn't want to be any other way even if I could. Everyone is different. The problem is that everyone wants to be the same and be "normal". There is no such thing. You're not weird at all.
@@lizardabyss7035 I still have a pretty good group of online friends (mostly male gamers) who are now in their 30s and 40s. They're mostly pretty decent people, pretty accepting (though, quite vulgar with each other, y'know, dudes). However, they still stigmatise everything they perceive as feminine. They make fun of me for enjoying makeup and nail polish. They make fun of me for caring for my skin. For wearing sunscreen. And they don't really see the problem with that, at all. Misogyny is absolutely still a thing that affects many of us. You can change the constitution and laws fairly quickly, but you can't change cultural norms and individual minds anywhere near quickly enough. We're equal on paper, alone. 😕 Femininity is still perceived as lesser.
@@cullenarthur8879 thank you a lot didn't see this till now but i truly appreciate that. I am slowly learning the same lesson and to be comfortable in who i really am.
I hate how it's always " the precious girls who have to be saved from being transformed into men" (to secure future breeding machines, of course) and "the predatory men disguising themselves as womz" ugh
"A teenager is just a teenager" 🤮 Ah yes, because teenagers aren't humans with real, actual, independent thoughts and feelings 🙄 These people annoy me so much. Your stomach is much stronger than mine for being able to sit through all that sort of thing for your research!
And like, if they're saying that teenagers are too young to know themselves, then the answer is put everyone on blockers until they're 25. But they would never go for that. Because we know what this is really about.
"A teenager is just a teenager" -the same people who 1) Have military recruitment days at high schools, 2) Say it's better to go to the like 3 yearly school dances with a date than a friend group, 3) Say "men and women can't just be friends" and "he'll marry you some day" about me and my then best friend when we were (checks notes) 14 and 15 respectively, and 4) Encourage us to take on tens of thousands of dollars in student debt.
@@oreganospiceable oh yes! that would have been so awesome for me. I had no idea that being transgender was even a thing in 1981, but I KNEW without a doubt that I did not want to develop facial hair. I won't go into my personal story too much, but 40 years later, still wish I didn't grow facial hair.
As an AFAB individual, all early signs of my trans-ness were written off as "Tomboy Behavior" and I was 100% expected to grow out of it. I'm 36 now... pretty sure some of my family (who I have no contact with anymore due to their phobic BS) are still expecting me to 'grow out of it'... any day now... Totes gonna happen, suuuuure.
At this rate of you do any more growing you'll be to tall to fit though any doorways. In all seriousness, as a fellow trans person I wish you the best in your future endeavours. Hope you surround yourself with people who love you for you.
Same!! When I went through puberty, I had all of my "boy" stuff thrown away because I'm "a blossoming young woman" [🤮] & things were supposed to be different. Lmao. And I mean... I did know tons of tomboys who ended up being comfortable with their assigned gender! Buuut... Not all of us were tomboys. Some of us are boys, or somewhere in between. 🙃 I'm turning 30 & only now just come out as a demiboy & I finally feel connected to my body/how I convey myself to the world. 💙🤍💙
I love how the proposed solution to children having trouble and being confused is always to give them LESS information. Teenagers getting pregnant? Abstinence only education! Your kid questioning their gender? don't tell them about gender! I will never understand why this makes sense to some people. Usually the best way to alleviate confusion is to give someone access to MORE information. You know...because confusion is usually caused by a lack of information.
@@gabrielsalahi3656 What's so harmful to a child about explaining what sex is or explaining what gender is? You don't need to go into any nitty gritty details about it(Unless provoked further, than I think it's fine to provide information) but if they ask about it, what is harmful about presenting the information in an easy to digest way for a child? Children are exposed to religion all the time, and religion has some very messed up things in it, but we still teach kids about that in a kid friendly way. Hell conservatives all across the country teach kids how to carry and fire a loaded gun. How is that okay but this isn't?
@@gabrielsalahi3656 Because there are grown adult men who want to use their pp to hurt little kids, and it’s better they learn the vocabulary so it’s admissible in court, and that child SA victims have better chances of identifying and exculpating their abusers.
@@gabrielsalahi3656 And for the “certain things shouldn’t be taught until later on” yes, they shouldn’t be explicitly taught. With a filter, yes, kids can have a base level understanding of the subject matter, so they don’t get too confused and insecure about their bodies and sex as they get older.
Because in their mind the information _is_ the problem. They view these things as cognito hazards. In their minds, kids are "normal," and remain "normal," unless they somehow learn that "deviancy" exists, in which case just knowing the "deviancy" exists will cause their minds to be consumed by the "deviancy," effectively turning the child into a completely different person
honestly I usually give the "greater numbers" counterargument of "Yeah, and there was a giant uptick of left-handed people when it stopped being punished with caning in schools"
25:48 this hit home for me because when I came out as trans, I didn't think my dad was very supportive of me, but one day he pulled me aside to have a talk about me being trans, and he was trying to reassure me that I'd be okie and that him and mom still loved me and that everything would be okie. and then he broke down crying, the second time in my entire life I saw him cry openly in front of me (I was about 17 or 18 when this happened and he didn't even cry in front of me when his parents passed for context), and I'll never forget the words he said to me while he cried his eyes out for an hour and I held him, "out of everything you could have been, why did it have to be a black trans women? you could have been born a girl, you could have been gay, disabled, a lesbian, bisexual, anything else! black trans women... that's the one that gets killed the most... that's the one that gets killed the most..." in that moment, I knew he wasn't against me transitioning, but I had never seen him so scared in his life
Hey... Sending loads of hugs to you and I hope that you're staying safe and living safe because you deserve freedom and you deserve to be safe (your self-preservation and well being comes first!) 🫂🫂🫂🫂
Oh Lord, I bet she thinks autism and ADHD only affect boys too just because the early research on those conditions excluded everyone else. You can't use past discrimination to justify ongoing discrimination, Abigail. 🙄
God I had to do my own research on ADD/ADHD in like middle school to find out I wasn't being diagnosed, because my brother was diagnosed as ADHD and was bouncing off the walls hyperactive, while I had zero attention span (except when what I now know was hyperfocusing) in the spacey kind of way, and later found out my parents dismissed suggestions from teachers to get me evaluated for years. Tried to explain what I had learned, and how it sounded like what dealt with, but I was so different from my brother I was ignored. Finally had them agree to have me looked at when I was 17 and at the end of junior year of highschool (where I had struggled a lot, not just from the ADHD but the just showing it's head depression and anxiety thanks to a cross country move), and got diagnosed after I turned 18 that december (since insurance and everything would have to change then anyways we decided to wait till then), and turned out that yes, what I researched 5 years ago was correct, and I did have a very strong case of ADHD. That's when I found out that they'd brushed off things teachers had said since first grade- before my brother was diagnosed, just because I wasn't the run around can't sit down kind of hyperactive like they thought ADHD was, meanwhile I was punished severely for having trouble focusing at times and called lazy and not trying hard enough for the things I struggled with. Watching the D I was struggling to get in math shoot up to a B almost immediately was such an I told you so moment mixed with self soothing that I really had been trying my best before and there was reasons why it was hard. Ugh so annoyed just thinking about all that.
@@MariaThePotterNut Did your parents ever apologize? My mom also ignored my signs and pleas to get evaluated until I was 17 as well. So much of my potential wasted because she didn’t want a neurodivergent kid. Now she has three of us to deal with and she’s much more understanding. She realized her mistakes with me and apologized when I was diagnosed, which helped me feel a lot better, but sometimes I still think about how different things could’ve been if I was diagnosed sooner and made use of the resources put out there for us. I often have to tell myself that the past is the past and I made it to the college I wanted either way, so everything’s alright.
I’m having a hard time staying around for this video. Hearing trans boys be repeatedly referred to as girls and trans girls repeatedly referred to as boys is making me sick to my stomach.
@@gabrielsalahi3656 Maybe because there is still a massive stigma against trans people, and there are people brutal enough to put their words to actions. Also, trans kids being bullied happens way too much, and that is the base for what causes so much depression and su*cidal ideation, along with the extremely painful gender dysphoria which makes them very uncomfortable in their bodies.
@@gabrielsalahi3656 trans kids who try to come out and are denied any support are more likely to end their lives than kids whose identities are respected. This respect is usually just calling them by the words they prefer, letting them wear the clothes they're comfortable in, etc. It doesn't have to mean life-altering surgeries and for the vast majority of trans kids it literally doesn't mean that. Also taunting and stomping on the feelings of kids who are already at a statistically higher rate of endangering themselves isn't going to make their lives any easier. Also why tf are you stealing my guy Jorge's icon
for me personally, the age that they're claiming "teenage girls" develop gender dysphoria is right around the time I suddenly had a super feminine body and no longer felt comfortable in it. also, even with parents who are trans-affirming, my aunt has told me that she worries about the possibility of her kid being trans/generally queer just because life would be harder for them and no parent wants their kid to face discrimination. she's super receptive and curious about my experience as a tran so I'm not worried.
I wonder if part of it wouldn't also be that boys (from the youngest possible age) are belittled for feminine seeming traits, whereas girls are allowed to be tomboys for a heck of a lot longer. So disphoria in childhood would be stronger for the one who isn't allowed to present themselves the way they want than for the one who can skate by for a few more years presenting how they want. This is coming from a person who is not trans but also never understood why my parents took pause at the fact that my one male roommate i had in college wore skirts around the house. He was surrounded by 3 female roommates but was a chill person and very devoted to his girlfriend. He was comfortable like that but so many people shamed him for it because he was "a normal boy otherwise"
@@alliew31 Also Ace and demiromantic, and while my dad seems to understand, I'm not sure my mother realizes I'm not joking when I answer "Never" to "When are you getting married and having kids?" Thankfully, she doesn't push the issue, but being her only child I worry that may change in the future.
I'm not even trans, but I had a VERY similar experience. Just feeling like suddenly, people were paying too much attention to me, for the wrong reasons. Hating my boobs, because people looked at them. But I was also very much a tomboy, and that was praised by my (narcissistic ass) father. He'd call me "the son [he] never had," in front of my 3 brothers. And then suddenly, he couldn't ignore that I was actually female. I couldn't ignore it, because so many people around me changed how they treated me. I hated it. I'm a lot more comfortable in my own skin, now, but it took a pretty long time. I think a lot of it was internalised misogyny, growing up in a fairly culty religion that told me I had no inherent value; my value came from what I could do for my future husband, how many kids I could pop out, for him, and to support him in HIS spiritual and financial success (Jehovah's Witnesses, btw). And all of the leaders of the church are male, and couldn't understand why a girl wouldn't be happy existing solely as a support figure for a man. Puberty is a turbulent time, at best, for girls. At worst, it just shows you how little respect most men have, for women. And that skeezed me out hard, for a long time. But I'm also fairly asexual, and had some confusion about that, too. The thought of things like marriage (🤢) and having children (🤮) filled me with anxiety and dread, and I didn't know why, for a very, very long time. It's a rough time. That's all I'm trying to say, I think. Even in the best circumstances, it's difficult.
Same... The pressure to shave, to start wearing makeup, caring about hair, wearing bras... I don't like those things, but was bullied for not doing them, so I had to fake it (which I was used to since I had undiagnosed learning disability, ADHD and other struggles I had to hide), but the last few years I've been struggling, with body changes due to not being underweight anymore, with what clothes fit, let alone are things I like, and with what words I like. I've questioned a lot and realized I don't have to be girly. Honestly, a lot of those things that came from bullying (like shaving) still remind me of the rude comments whenever I do them, so it's been freeing to realize I don't have to fit the binary, and that I can experiment with clothes and dress for how I feel, not just whatever fits. Although learning how to sew helped a lot with that, I can make my own non-binary clothing styles that fit my unusual proportions.
*Parents:* "You can't be gender fluid. You never showed a single hint of anything like that your whole life! You've always been a normal girl." *Me:* "Soon after I learned to speak sentences I told y'all I used to be a boy and that I'd have mutton chops when I was an old man. I'd tell people "I'm not a boy or a girl, I'm Spiderman." Usually chose a 'boys' Halloween costume. I hated being made to wear dresses or pink, cryed the entirety of my aunt's wedding because they forced me be the 'flower girl', hated dolls and would only play with dinosaurs, cars, and stuffed animals. In highschool, I was the first 'girl' to join the wrestling team, went by the nickname Leonard, and tried out to be the school mascot because I wanted a beard. Dad literally calls me the son he never had. He told me about how I used to love when he'd dress me up in plaid and overalls and go around calling me Buddy Lee and people would think I was a little boy." *Parents:* "... Well you were just a bit of a tomboy, that's all."
This sounds like my mother. She was surprised when I liked boys *at all* I was such a little raging butch-in-training my entire childhood, I've been getting called a lesbian since before I even knew what that meant and now she's acting like the shift to "oh. Some of that was about gender not just sexuality" is super confusing. 💀🤦
There were many cultures in the past who had no word for blue. To them, blue didn't exist--when in reality, it was just invisible to them because blue was so rare. The only blue in their worlds was the sky or the sea, which they just described as other colors or not at all--like it was just understood. It wasn't until blue dye started circulating that (most of) these cultures made or adopted a word for it. Does that mean that blue didn't exist until they saw blue dye? No, it was always there; they just didn't have a word for it. Trans people have always existed. Now that we have more information, trans people--like the color blue--are more visible. That's how science works. You can't compare a standard of "how things were" a few generations ago as "normal." A few generations ago, they also didn't know shit about autism, dyslexia, and a plethora of medical conditions or states. That doesn't mean they didn't exist.
Yep, language can very much drive perception. This is something many people outside of linquistics and neuroscience really understand much. You go to your typical English speaker and show them a whole pannel of red shades with one pink and they can readily pick that pink one out as being different.... because we have unique word in English for particular shades we will call pinks that we differ from reds...... At the same time were you to go to the Himba people in Namibia and show them the same panel they wouldn't be able to pink out hte pink as being different. At the same time those Himba people whne shown a panel of green shades would likely pink out one as very unique that an English speaker wouldn't recognize... because they have unique words for specific shades of what we would call greens in their language. Before you have provided with a language to describe something, that something can go unrecognized by you. It is still there, but you just don't really differentiate it from the surrounding. This is something the average person isn't typically going to even be conscious of.
I rarely comment on UA-cam, but just wanted to point out that Shrier's point about there being no studies of AFAB adolescents is just straight up wrong. There are - in her book, she states that she couldn't find anything studying "gender dysphoria" in AFAB adolescents. The reason for that is simple - dysphoria wasn't the diagnosis until 2013. If you search JSTOR for teenagers and gender identity disorder, several studies pop up studying it in AFAB individuals. Her search terms were faulty and she just took it as fact.
She in her own book writes how she, or th parents, not the kids, the parents she choses to listen frank ignore medical advice, like literally parents getting told, sorry we arent the right adress, here is a gender assignment clinic that can help. An her main source is a disgraced doctor ith a closed clinic who was just horrific and did conversion therapy stuff. Horrible abuse. Th oe doctor he chose to trust. Alsolisten to not anything and as "journalist" dimissing literally every doctor sh doesnt like. And listening to parents, nnot actual teenagers. because why not saying parental bias are "facts"
As has been shown so far in the (frankly amazing) series of dissection videos by Cass Eris, Shrier views facts as optional. Facts are only valid when they can be twisted to suit her transphobic worldview. Seriously, if you have the time I would highly recommend watching the videos (though since they are talking about the books there is a fair amount of transphobia shown, though Cass does their best to mitigate it).
This is because, as Jammie Dodger pointed out, she's not a doctor. She doesn't know wtf she is doing, or talking about, but that just helps her with a certain crowd who distrusts science and intellectuals.
as someone who didn't have a clue she was a girl until she was in her late 20's, I find the whole "Gender dysphoria presents exclusively in early childhood" thing to be ENDLESSLY FRUSTRATING.
For me it first showed up when I hit puberty… but I didn't really know the signs, y'know? I didn't know to _think_ "I'm a girl"… I probably should have, though, when after my first Pathfinder character was a girl I proceeded to almost exclusively make female characters from then on. When I found an odd comfort in being mistaken for a girl in online spaces. But for some years there in the 2000s, the concept of a "G.I.R.L." (Guy In Real Life) carried such stigma online that I had no hope of having it occur to me to play a girl.
@@johnc3525 cis people mystify dysphoria. They talk about it like it is this all consuming thing where you look in the mirror and say "why don't I look like a girl". For a lot of us, indeed I'd say the vast majority of us, the waters were significantly muddier. This isn't to say there weren't signs. When I was in pre-school I exclusively wanted to spend time with the girls. In kindergarten the girls socially ostracisized me and made it clear that someone like me wouldn't be welcome around them. When I fantasized about having a child and being a mother I was told "You can't be that, that's not what you are, but you can be a father." and I accepted it because I assumed older people knew better. When I became a teenager, I looked forward to my body changing--until it did and suddenly I hated everything about myself "He's just depressed," they said, "he needs exercise, or to just learn to love himself". I didn't know what trans people *were* until I was a teenager, and when it was explained to me it was with an odd contempt "They are weird, they are other, they are not like *us*" and I just assumed that was what it was. I wrapped myself in that self-loathing and internalized transphobia and I shut out every thought that that might be me for another ten years, creating a mask that I wore so rigorously I never even learned what my face actually was. Until I took a chance, until I let it slip for just a second and discovered what I was behind it. That's how you go 30 years without discovering your trans. That's how you go 40, or 50, or even 60 years. You push all the thoughts that you might be into a box and you forget the box exists.
I had some concept of non binary as a 4 year old in the 90s. I knew I wasn't a boy but somehow I felt like I wasn't properly a girl either despite having a girl's private parts.
"Lots of 'girls' only came out as trans after going on social media." Setting aside the bad sources in that claim... yeah, of course social media can do that. I lived for 25 years before experiencing any conscious dysphoria because, lacking any real representation in contemporary media, I just assumed that things like never looking in the mirror or avoiding seeing my body was a normal thing people just did. Getting to know trans folks and discovering trans content creators is what led me to think maybe it wasn't normal. It's not psychological, it's sociological, and why media representation matters.
as someone who had never even heard of the words "trans" and "non-binary" until i was like 20, i grew up so isolated and confused, and just FINALLY finding community and understanding took off like half my dysphoria. i spent all my teenage years as a suicidal shut-in. now THAT is irreversible damage!
@@landis9767 I had a very similar experience. I was lucky enough to discover the trans community while still in high school through a summer camp I attended. But most of my information still came from online platforms. Without that camp though I would never have had to words to look up what I was feeling, because no one ever talked about things like gender expression and dysphoria to me. Edit: By gender expression I'm talking about things like how as a teenager I always wanted to be like my older brother, and resented anything that would make me seem "girly"
@landis9767 I hadn't heard of trans anything until high school when a classmate I associated with would tease me by saying I watched "tranny midget porn." After looking up what tranny meant, I kind of just pushed it to the back of my mind. It wasn't until I was about 20 or 21 that I started really looking into my own transness and that was because Against Me! released their Transgender Dysphoria Blues album and something in me just clicked.
FR!! when i discovered what non binary was, my first instinct was researching online and watching trans youtube creators talking about it, majority of which had those "welcome to the trans community and it's information" type of videos exactly because it was a very new subject floating around mainstream media. It took me years to realize i was non-binary myself even being informed on the subject, descovering it made me really glad because i stopped having frequent and severe body dissociation and deformation, currently waiting on a personaly sized binder
"When your child tells you theyre having an allergic reaction, remember, youre the adult in the room, and just tell them they dont." is effectively her 3rd point.
I'm fairly certain I know the gender clinic she's referring to in oregon. She is technically correct that you do not need parental permission, but that's because the age of medical consent for a bunch of things in oregon is 15, not specifically hormones. Additionally, it's not a same day thing. The waits for an appointment are weeks long and you need multiple appointments, a blood test, and to sign paperwork acknowledging the effects of the treatment, etc.
Yeah I’m pretty sure that age of consent laws for care is only relegated in most states to mental health services. I know in PA where I live that people always mistake the law for being able to consent to mental health care (even against parental wishes) at 14 is so often misinterpreted as referring to any care. The trans kids are probably just receiving mental health services for their dysphoria and not medical services until they’re older. Doctors don’t even recommend any medical transitioning besides puberty blockers until a person is past puberty at which point they’re probably considered a legal adult anyways.
@@fionatastic0.070 No, it does extend to medical services in oregon at least. And it is absolutely not true that doctors don't reccomend hormones until legal adulthood. They're usually permitted around 15-16
There are clinics like that all over the country, over-prescribing whatever teens want and creating a lot of serious health risks. Everyone in healthcare thinks this is concerning and wouldn't want the risks for their own children. Of course, teens can get birth control, ab0rt10ns, &other sorts of healthcare, so there are risks with all of these things. We're very "free" in the US and that comes with responsibility. Don't take meds or undergo procedures unless you're sure you need them
Detrans person here: I was on T for a month and realized I wasn’t trans. Terfs need to stop weaponizing me and others like me. It’s sickening. Terfs: hands off of me, I support the trans community completely.
"Tragically we've made it far too easy for our youth to go through a path that is irreversible damages and is totally life altering" said the woman who is totally cool with the new abortion bans currently hitting the US.
@@Julie-ns8vm Up to a point. I don’t have a problem with abortions within the few months of pregnancy, but the longer someone waits after that, the worse it gets. I just hate when people act like a fetus isn’t a life at all when debating abortion.
@@thatguythere6161 you realise that at the end of the first month of pregnancy, the embryo is only 2 weeks old? Pregnancy is dated from the first day of the last period before conception. Most people find out they’re pregnant at weeks 4-7. Allowing abortions from “week 1” through to week 4 isn’t really a helpful solution at all.
"If you graduated high school over a decade ago you probably didn't know anyone who was transgender." Excuse me? I graduated in 2006 and we had an LGBT Alliance club in our school. Our principal was openly lesbian, we had lots of genderfluid and nonbinary presenting students. We had lots of bisexual and gay/lesbian dating going on. Some of my friends have transitioned. The woman my best friend was dating when I met the two of them in university transitioned after we met her. Even before all of that, though, one of my father's cousins transitioned before I was even born.
My older sisters graduated in 04 and 06, their high school had a lgbt alliance club as well, with a lot of members. So Idk why this lady is acting like trans people were super rare back then.
I lived out in the sticks and I remember the fuss when someone had apparently written to the school paper feeling some non-straight feelings. A bunch of people even asked me if I'd done it because I was a social recluse that no one could get a read on.
I'm only a bit younger but I had an openly nonbinary teacher (though they didn't use that term at the time) who had a kid with their trans man partner. Plus I knew a person who was AFAB but dressed super masculine and liked to be called a boy. Just because I didn't know the language at the time doesn't mean those people weren't there
The thing about detransitioners is I think they’d actually be helped a lot more if we did have better access to transition related healthcare. I very happy with the steps I’ve taken as far as medically transitioning, but I had a lot of doubts and anxieties when starting HRT that I would have liked to talk about, but felt I’d be denied care if I expressed any of that. I can imagine a lot of people felt that, and if they were able to better discuss and analyze those feelings, they could make better decisions on what to do, and not pressure themselves into taking steps they aren’t ready for.
A lot of the most virulent 'detransitioners' admitted they gamed the system of decades ago precisely because trans people had to fit a sexist formula then. Even to try to escape the stigma of being gay. Only to find out that gay people generally want the anatomy trans people don't in themselves.
@@kimmmimemwest1895 no, trans folks regularly get denied care for arbitrary reasons, so it’s a symptom of a flawed medical system. I had “good” healthcare and still had to fight to get access to preventative care and the possibility of my insurance treating it as a legitimate healthcare need even if they ultimately didn’t cover it.
@@BarryBoggs-qp5lj so you couldn't get preventative care for what exactly ?? I'm confused ..that seems like it's not trans exclusive .. if I can't get preventative cancer treatment that's not a trans issue ...
@@kimmmimemwest1895 I mean I’m not going to discuss my medical history is a UA-cam comment if that’s what your asking, but the insurance I had and doctor I was trying to see claimed me transitioning caused the issue so they didn’t need to treat or cover it, despite no evidence that they were connected at all. So yeah it is a trans issue, and one that a lot of people have had.
What conservative said:"Think about the children" Translation: We should control the children and make them like we wanted them to be. I feel bad for the professionnels who actual care about the well being of kids. They are being ignored or treated like monster by most right-winger for listenning to children and help them to feel better.
I mean, Cass Eris (mentioned in the video for her series analyzing Shrier's book) explicitly goes over how Shrier's own interviews relay that the PARENTS of AFAB trans-masc kids and teens... One took their child to several therapists. SEVERAL THERAPISTS OVER MULTIPLE YEARS. Every single therapist said the same thing: "We think your kid might actually be trans." The parent then goes on to state that the kid CANNOT be trans, and talks with Shrier about how "evil media" has "brainwashed" her "innocent daughter".
@@kimmmimemwest1895 Literally the job of the psychologist/therapist making the decision is to determine whether the person they are analyzing is or is not in fact trans. This is before any other steps have been taken by any other medical professionals, and is the single-most legally-posited gate to what constitutes "affirming"/"non-affirming" care from subsequent professionals. Like, if she could get one therapist to state "Your kid's faking; they aren't trans" then that's a metaphorical hall-pass she can wave around to deny non-affirming care. But, weirdly, NONE OF THE PROFESSIONALS WHO KNOW HOW TO ANALYZE PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS agreed with the mother's assessment of the kid "faking" being trans. Maybe the medical professionals who literally spent at least a decade of education and usually at least as long actually practicing in the field...know more about what they're saying than a parent who doesn't even pay attention to their own child.
@@onijester56 Shrinks care about their paychecks. They prefer taking the path of least resistance and do their best to avoid helping cause then they actually have to do their job and that's when people realize they aren't really qualified. It's why I've never seen one.
Detransitioning doesn't mean you are not transgender. It's so weird these people talk about transition as a pure binary, but that's their foundational belief.
Plus it's worth mentioning that most detransitioners only did so because existing as a trans person is a little...terrifying and you're lucky if you have just one family member disown you.
People have so little faith in young people, especially people they see as girls. I’m a cis woman, when I was a kid, for a long time I low-key wished I was a boy. When I was about 14, I got to do a school project in sex-ed class, and we chose trans people as the subject. So this was the first time I learned about gender identities in a broader sense then “lol men dressing as women”. And guess what? Me learning that becoming a boy was an option, I discovered that I did not in fact want to be a boy! It took me a while to figure out, but what I actually wanted was the freedom and respect I saw the boys around me enjoy. So learning about trans people made me identify stronger with my own gender and eventually get more involved in feminist and queer causes. Of course this is all personal experience, but I’m just saying, learning about other gender identities didn’t convert me, as an already uncomfortable in my skin girl, into a boy, so just give teens a bit more credit!
On the point of a lack of literature and general awareness of trans men versus trans women, I'd say it's just another way misogyny manifests in society. As much as I dislike Arielle Scarcella, she made a video a while back where she blundered past an actually interesting point. I can't remember her exact words, but she was basically railing against non-binary people (shocker) when she stated that all AMAB enbies seem to do is put makeup on to express their non-binary identity (I think she used Sam Smith as an example), whereas AFAB enbies bind, get top surgery, otherwise change and remove parts of their bodies to express theirs. Now, aside from the fact that this is far from true in all cases and non-binary people have an incredible diversity of gender expression regardless of their AGAB, there's a point there about the visibility of AMAB versus AFAB trans people. Because of the devaluation of women and femininity in our society, femininity in men is far more visible than masculinity in women, and far less accepted. Arielle is actually right in implying that all an AMAB person would have to do is put on makeup for people to question and scrutinise how much of a "real man" they are, simply because of the misogynistic belief that femininity is lesser than masculinity. For AFABs, to be seen as anything other than a woman is much harder, because masculinity in women is more normalised and even praised. I'm a trans man and pretty binary in my gender expression - I have short hair, wear exclusively and explicitly masculine clothing, generally carry myself with masculine-coded body language, and even have some s*x characteristics that are much more masculine than feminine. But I'm also pre-T, and even in spite of my gender expression, even though there is literally nothing more I can do to communicate to the world that I am not a woman, unless I am explicit that I am a trans man, I am always read as female. That I might be trans isn't considered; my transness is invisible. My point being that trans men are much less visible in society. If you don't pass, you're read as a woman. If you do pass, which a lot of trans men on T do, you're read as a cis man. Trans women unfortunately stand out more than trans men, and I think because trans women are seen as committing a bigger "sin" by not just expressing feminity, but actually being women, they are more of a spectacle to the public eye. There is more of an interest, even if that interest is coming from a place of discomfort or even revulsion. So the lack of interest in trans men as a group, plus the fact we were so invisible until very recently (which in turn meant less of us coming out), means you have less academic research, less resources and less general awareness of trans men than trans women. Not because there are magically more of us now than there were twenty years ago. Sorry for the rant lol, it just annoys me when I see transphobes using the erasure of trans men from history and medical research as proof that we are some new, fashionable thing. Tell that to Billy Tipton or Lou Sullivan. We've always been here, even if the world couldn't see us. Anyway, thanks for the video as always Jessie. Your empathy and ability to articulate complicated and difficult topics is honestly an inspiration to me. Also on a side note, that Star Trek mug is dope.
Honestly I find this idea that AFAB people are "praised" for being masculine frustrating and dismissive. What universe do you live in where a masculine AFAB person is anything but used as the butt of a joke or treated like garbage? There is an EXTREMELY tiny bit of BARELY "acceptable" masculinity that AFAB folks are allowed access to in this patriarchal society, but the moment they step beyond that little bit of "accepted" masculinity they're treated like shit. Studies seem to back this up as well, there's a South African study showing that masculine lesbians were victimized at higher rates than femme lesbians. (See: "Paradoxes of Butchness: Lesbian Masculinities and Sexual Violence in Contemporary South Africa") Even here in the USA, butch lesbians are always used as the butt of a joke, called gross and disgusting, used for shock value humor, etc. Multiple studies also show that AFAB trans people experience higher levels of non-fatal violence than AMAB trans people. It's not that masculinity in AFAB people is more normalized or "praised"-- it's that cis manhood is treated as an exclusive club that AFAB people could never be granted true access to, because of misogyny. A trans man could never be a """"real"""" man in the eyes of the patriarchy. He will always be a lesser, inferior copy because he's not a cis man. I feel like takes like this vague idea that masculine women are "praised" for their masculinity (and there's really never any examples given of how this nebulous "praise" manifests, because in reality they don't get praised, there's some very limted, s3xually motivated """praise""" lumped on conventionally attractive heterosexual woman who participate in a limited selection of traditionally masculine activities, but beyond that any AFAB person who participates in masculinity in defiance of the cishet male gaze is seen as the enemy) implicitly imply that misogyny is reserved solely for femme people, and it erases the misogyny that trans men face both pre-transition *and* often post-transition where heavy misogyny is often directed at AFAB bodies and especially genitals. I feel like we can discuss the invisibility vs hypervisbility issue that affects the trans community without downplaying or masking the violence and transphobia that affects AFAB individiuals. I see far too many people who think that "invisibility means that AFAB trans people don't really experience transphobia or violence, that AFAB trans people don't "need" resources and activism/help, and that narrative really needs to change.
I agree with every point. Trans guy here 9 months on T, 2 months post top surgery. Even at the tipping point of passing, I'm only ever seen as a butch lesbian or a cis man. I am virtually NEVER seen as a trans man. The only exception is in the swimming pool. There the mix of sex characteristics shows a lot more and then I get stares and clocked as trans. Honestly, I kind of enjoy it because I don't feel invisible or like I'm hiding anything. Out in the wild (not swimming) I often wear a He/Him/His T shirt and drop the fact that I'm trans all over the place because I do want to be seen. I'd rather deal with the looks and occasional awkwardness than feel completely invisible.
I agree. I also think one important reason for the disproportional attention is because most things in society are seen and discussed through the eyes of cishet men. Trans men don't represent neither as much threat nor interest to them; if we're presenting or functioning as a woman "enough", we can just be ignored; if we aren't, we are considerably less sexually and reproductively desired by straight men and therefore can be ignored as well. Trans women, on the other hand, are both more disruptive to straight manhood and more sexually interesting. On the one hand, transfem people are on it's own an existential crisis to patriarchy: when a system presents traditional manhood as superior and masculinity as virtuous, someone discarding that away is undermining the whole social order. For the same reason there's also more scrutiny on gay and gnc men: they are seen as traitors to the system. On the other hand, straight men can also be attracted to trans women, opening a debate which attraction or actions "count" as gay. And when a trans woman isn't straight, she is also perceived as risk or competition to the other group these men are interested in - cis women. I've been thinking about that ever since I noticed something interesting in my own life. Long story short, I wasn't fully out as a guy at school but obvious enough for most of my classmates to infer that; I was also kind of seen as a queer expert, so I was asked about or forced to debate about trans people a few times by straight teen boys. What's interesting is that despite me being a guy, they only ever wanted to talk about trans women. For example, for some reason they decided to confess to me they watched porn with trans girls and really wanted to know more about the effects of mtf transition on sex; another time, they rated trans models based on attractiveness; on other occasion, they demanded I debate them on the access of trans women into women's toilets and prisons. There were many other, though smaller, instances. The only times they showed any interest in trans men was 1) about testosterone affecting penis growth 2) when we've already finished school and were drinking together. We got flirty with one dude and someone had a brief debate with him on whether that made him gay or not with arguments mainly contingent on how far I was into medical transition. Honestly, it just strengthened with my view that trans people are just really often seen through the wants and insecurities of cishet men. As for the research, Blanchard definitely comes to mind: he just bluntly states in one paper that he doesn't study trans men because they don't interest him. And as a whole, his terminology dividing trans women into "young-beautiful-exlusively available to men" and "older-less attractive-not only interested in men" which is a misogynistic tale is old as the world. Bailey, his disciple and the one who brought the dichotomy fame, goes as far as to state this directly, blatantly objectifying trans women in his book. Hell, Shrier herself doesn't really go after all afab trans people either: she specifically picks femininity and relationships with men as evidence that her subjects aren't trans. It seems to me that she's only worried about teens who were expect to grow up as "proper" women, feminine and straight (she discounts bi girls, by the way, because she thinks that it's just a phase to "become ready" for men. Yes, really.) which is somewhat curious to me, since that is really the only group cishet men could be bothered about. Queer or gnc girls are less expected to grow up compliant with traditional gender roles, so it's only when a gender-conforming and atracted to men afab teenager turns out not to be a woman that they are seen a "loss" or being "converted"
@@noneedtoknow3467 I think the reason butch lesbians are so disparaged by bigots is simply because they're lesbians and, as OP stated, they tend to stand out more, so they became a spectacle for the public to mock. What OP meant by women being masculine being more acceptable is that, for example, there's less of a fuss when women wear men's clothing (like jeans and coats) than when men wear women's clothing
Gonna have to disagree with you on masculinity being normalized in women or even praised. If that were true I, someone in a male dominated profession (although that is changing), would not get constantly penalized for things that earn my male colleagues praise. When they do it, they're zealous, and assertive, and confident. When I do it, I'm "bossy," and "overbearing," and "shrill."
I really appreciate your position of empathy, being a former “Terf” myself it was empathy towards trans people that led me on the path towards setting my mind right. I just started thinking “why are people so upset about my opinions, i didn’t realize I was hurting people so badly, maybe I need to listen to them” If I had been left to explore that question while being presented with more absolutist views I might’ve looked the other way. Some people really do hate, and some people hate for what they think are good reasons but often based on a lack of information. Just don’t forget people can change their minds!!
I know it's an old comment but just wanted to say thank you. Means a lot to know not everyone is so rigidly set in their worldview, as tragic as it is that people I'd otherwise have gotten along with choose to spout hate. Gives me some hope
I suddenly have a desire to start a youtube channel and make parodies of every PragerU video with actual facts and context (should I call it PoggersU?)... Just gimme a month or so to learn motion graphics with skillshare.
The idea to cut off social media is actually incredible harmful! Less social media might be good advice in general, but its very obvious from their wording that they meant 'deliberately cut your child off from what is likely their only form of social support and connection' which is a blatant abusive tactic.
This is a prime example of the intersectionality of trans and feminist issues. The sexism couched in their anti-AFAB rhetoric is so disturbing when you realize not only what the immediate outcomes are (denying the validity and needs of the AFAB experience, as well as the trans community at large), but also the implications of what's to come further into the future. The "irreversible consequences" the PragerU video implies is mostly related to reproductive health and outward presentation of feminine characteristics, both of which even cis-women have problems being taken seriously with when requesting medical and cosmetic procedures. The anti-AFAB push of the video is another way to increase control over all persons who are assigned female at birth, regardless of whether they are cis-women, trans-men, non-binary, etc. Protecting women's rights protects trans rights and vice versa, and it is saddening to see that people cannot see the duality of this fact. Not only is PragerU a dangerous gateway into transphobia, but in turn using that to open a gateway to other forms of hate.
You can probably throw in class issues into that intersection too. Blowing trans-related talking points out of proportion and scaremongering about the threat of "trans propaganda" is a convenient smoke screen for politicians and the privately owned media to distract from the various issues caused by capitalism and therefore protect private interest. So, in a roundabout way, trans-issues and feminist-issues are also working class issues.
Yeah! I’m glad someone is talking about this, I feel like people just ignore it because they’re scared to misgender trans men or something? But when bigots see you as a woman, they will treat you the same way they treat women, even if it’s negative. I think people also assume that saying that trans men face sexism is also saying that trans women don’t, but that’s also very not true. Even though bigots treat trans AFABs the same negative way they treat women, they also end up treating trans AMABs that way. It’s so stupid and makes no logical sense, but hate doesn’t make logical sense. It’s just anyone who triggers their anti-woman bias, which ends up being anyone who has any form of relationship to having ever been/thought they were/identified as a woman, currently or in the past.
I said when the Republicans started attacking Trans people woman, and other vulnerable minorities would be next. Because that is how fascists operate. Divide and conquer.
Watched it on Patreon first but commenting this time just to thank you for dealing with these tough topics at your mental and emotional exhaustion, I'm sure. The Jessie we need but not deserve 💜
I did graduate high school over a decade ago, we had three trans students just in the four years I was there (a trans guy, trans girl, and non-binary person) All in my small Midwestern town when social media was still in it's infancy. Trans people have always existed.
The social media argument is also a false cause fallacy. Kids who are already feeling isolated, anxious, and depressed are way more likely to spend more time online, because it's an easy way to meet like-minded people without the time and geographical restrictions. Online research is also a good way to gain access to information that wouldn't normally be available, because the topics pertaining to kids who are trans or questioning typically are not taught in schools.
Oh, fun fact! The statue of David is made out of spite. David is composed of really poor grade marble. He was given it by his commissioner by someone who didn’t really respect him. Out of spite, Michelangelo decided to make this his masterpiece to show up his sponsor
And it's with like absolutely everything. If we dress more in line with what "stereotypical" of our gender people will say we're putting on a costume. If we don't we're told we're not even trying and just doing it for attention. If we're straight after coming out then we're told we're "victims of gay conversation therapy" and that we're lesbians or gay men. If we're gay/lesbian after coming out we're told we're "invading gay spaces"
As the cis female parent of two afab children the Prager U video you just critiqued pissed me off. My children have not given me any indication that they could be trans. However that video is not only harmful to trans kids. It actively suggests that children especially afab children are not to be listened to. That video also actively promotes keeping children in ignorance about issues that affect them. As someone who believes that keeping children ignorant about anything to do with sex should be considered a form of child abuse this video from Prager U is abhorrent. I consider it harmful to all children.
cw for abuse . . I had my phone taken away from me as a teen, usually at night but not always. I wasn't on social media at the time (this was over a decade ago), but it still cut me off from talking to friends and family. I was isolated from them in an abusive home, with no relief, no-one to talk to about what I was going through. I didn't understand I was trans at the time, but I can only imagine, based on my own experiences, coming out and then being punished with isolation, which is so painful. Shrier is an awful human being.
It's like that viral post of the angry mother who gets gently talked down to doing research on binders and bring more supportive of her trans child. We aren't compassionate to these transphobes because they deserve it, we're compassionate to them because it might make the lives of the trans people in their lives better
I lost a lot of my social circle due to groups spreading anti trans narratives. I just can't deal with it anymore. I look forward to sitting down with my own comfort tea and watching this later this evening.
I'm genderfluid, bisexual, autistic (edit: more like, I might be autistic. I have been told by the same amount of therapists that I have it and don't) and have ADHD. My parents are actively homophobic and transphobic, and they're scared of even thinking about the possibility I might have ASD. They view being trans and gay/bi as the same thing with the same root cause, which is (in their opinion) an error in the upbringing of a child. They have accepted I have ADHD only because I convinced them to take me to therapy and I was diagnosed (my therapist has a lot of implicit bias about ASD, so I'm not holding my breath for that one). Let me put it this way. I wear glasses, because I have myopia and astigmatism. Today I went to get my prescription glasses changed, and told my mother my prescription went up. Her reaction was "Oh, no, that's so sad! It's really too bad that you have gone up!" But basically it sounded like it was a diagnosis similar to cancer, or renal failure, or something. That is their attitude towards trans people, gay people, and an ASD diagnosis. It seems like the world is collapsing with those news. Which is why I'm closeted and why I really resent people like the creators of pragerU that spread so much misinformation.
@@notfunny1410 (Edit: I re-read my comment and I will correct it. Thank you.) I specified I "MIGHT" have ASD. And I also clarify that it's not uncommon for people with ASD to be undiagnosed because of all the implicit bias that exists. I have been told by the same amount of therapists that I have ASD as I have been told I don't. I would prefer you didn't just assume I go around telling people I have ASD, and that you research the subject and the reason why so many people with ASD don't have an official diagnosis. And again, I repeat, I said I "might" have ASD.
@@sammjaisais7135 i have ASD and its okay to do some research and recognize symptoms but ive seen too many people who self diagnose or dont want to get a real diagnosis..
"testosterone is easily obtained by today's teens" had me spit out my drink. I'm 27 in california and I've been struggling to have access to T consistently for 4 years. to this day the folk who raised me that I have 0 contact with keep sending me prageru content trying to invalidate my identity. thank you for making this video, it felt like a breath of relief to hear someone point out all the things I've been saying that have fallen on willfully-closed ears. Thank you.
One thing that Absolutely disgusts me is how UA-cam is still platforming their advertisements. I'll be letting videos play for white noise as I do stuff, all of a sudden I get those misinformation-based PragerU ads. It's so annoying and distracting.
I've always wondered if trans men were not as studied/noticed partly because for the past few decades, in the western world, it's perfectly fine for a girl/woman to only wear trousers and t-shirts, have short haircuts, not wear makeup or high heels, and have male versions of their longer female names (Samantha - Sam, Joanne - Jo, etc), so a trans man would be labelled as 'just being a tomboy'. I am a cis straight woman, when I was in my late teens, my mom had a tradesman around and was showing him the house, he walked into my room, looked around, then asked my mom, "so how old's your son?" because my room was plastered in heavy metal CDs, fantasy books, D&D books, dragons and skulls and goth ornaments, etc. He was a bit taken aback when she told it was her daughter's room, but he just laughed it off as his mistake. But because it's never really been acceptable for a man/boy to wearing anything 'girlie' that isn't a kilt, then trans women stick out more. It's 'weirder for a guy to want to wear a dress and make up and heels and be feminine'. And while it's becoming incrementally acceptable for men to wear make up and heels (so long as they're, like, wedges and not stilettos. Manly heels) - [Side note, as I'm writing this, your video was interrupted by an ad featuring Sir Patrick Stewart!!! 😂😂 The algorithm knows you too well, Jessie!] - it's still 'weird' if they wear dresses/skirts/blouses, etc. If they paint their nails any colour other than black, they're 'weird'. Long hair is fine, but don't style it beyond a pony tail or basic braid, and so on and etc. Just a thought. Always love your work Jessie!! Loving the Trek earring, Trek mug and Trek... tea ball? Book mark? Either way, lot of Trek. When are you getting a Trek tattoo?! ❤️🤘
I can definitely relate to this. I was a pretty stereotypical "tomboy" growing up but it was largely never questioned (there were a few who tried to force femininity on me, but most just kind of let me get on with it). But I think because it was so normalised, it took me a really long time to figure out I was trans. I mean, looking back it's painfully obvious lol, but I legitimately had no idea that trans men existed. I had a very limited understanding of trans women as a kid (though it was the "super effeminate man in dress" level of understanding that makes me cringe to think about now), and I remember trying to research online if there were any "women who became men" when I was about ten years old, and aside from an AFAB non-binary person who didn't represent my personal experience at all, there was nothing. I kind of just accepted that I was just a tomboy and as much as I didn't want to be a girl, I just had to suck it up and deal with it. I'm in a better place about it now, but man, the erasure is real.
I came here to say that too, with it being socially acceptable to be a tom boy I can easily see people AFAB not realising they are trans until puberty hits and they don't like the changes. I am cis but when puberty hit I went through a stage of I wish I was a boy, mine turned out to be that I just hated getting periods. I am extremely grateful that I have small breasts though as my preferred look is a more androgynous one (I do have small phases of dressing 'girly' though) and wouldn't be at all concerned if I didn't have my breasts anymore.
You make excellent points. My sister thinks the reason why trans men might find it easier to blend into society is because of misogyny. For a woman to want to be a man or masculine , it's seen as a good thing, aspirational even. But if a man wants to be a woman or more feminine, it's seen as him degrading himself or becoming somehow less than.
It's honestly scary how easy it seems to be to prime ignorant people against trans people. I guess I'll need to postpone this one to some time after the premiere, watch it when I'm in a better place.
It's unfortunately pretty easy to prime people in general to be against anyone (or anything) that they don't understand. I try to be vigilant for those tendencies in myself for the exact reason that I know I'm not immune.
When Shrier started giving advice on how to harm your transgender child, my psychic abilities told me that she wasn't going to say "sit down and talk to them"
It's always interesting seeing the different assumptions made for "why are there so many more ____ these days?" Like, for ADHD, the assumption is overdiagnosis. For autism, the assumption is "there's something causing it *enter conspiracy mode*" and for these people and trans kids, it's "someone is brainwashing the kids! *enter conspiracy mode*" or "no, the children must be wrong." When really, the likely answer is the same for all of them: we are more open and aware about different things and see things represented more and can be like "hey, that's me." Or, in the case of cognitive disorders or mental disorders, there's less stigma around the diagnosis and their existence and we're now better at diagnosing them.
@ferret I'm mostly going off of my experience with ADHD, which is very much a cognitive disorder or at least currently viewed as such. I think I've read a different designation about autism, so I apologize for lumping it into the category. They are both definitely disabilities!
I've never understood the weird place that transmen are in 'the discourse'. Most transphobic material completely ignores them. Then there's this crap, that just handwaves that transwomen exist, and use that for attempting to delegitimize transmen as not fitting that same mold.
I was in high school when Matthew Shepard (possibly misspelled that, sorry) was murdered because he was gay. I fully admit I didn't know if any of my classmates were trans, but I'm willing to bet that any that knew they were decided to keep it to themselves because of that.
Well, back then, most LGBT people already weren't out in high school for rather more local reasons. Transitioning would be a very rare thing and probably involve switching schools.
I'm all for getting revenge on homophobes and transphobes. They need to be treated as badly as they treated us LGBTQ+ people. Our rights, our pie, not theirs. Educating bigots doesn't work. Revenge is faster and more efficient.
I was in high school at the time as well, and I distinctly remember the corporate media environment surrounding that story. Time Magazine actually printed a letter about Matthew Shepard, written by a virulently homophobic pastor who spouted off about hellfire and sin. In other words, they saw that letter, and thought, oh yeah, that's a perfectly acceptable take to share with our readers. 🤦♀
as a generally trans masculine NB, who likes presenting in child like ways (such as pastels and rainbows, fluffy things, oversized clothes, toys) i get infantilised rather often, and it genuinely hurts, as I always feel like others just think im stupid? and its often used to dismiss my opinions on anything, even unrelated to being trans, and its really harmful in my opinion...
I think people are just using behavioral bias to slight you when you're rational. Has the same energy as, "you make a good point, but... you're in a wheelchair"
I truly can't be the only one thinking about the white coat donned by Shrier and thinking: "She's.. not a doctor. She's not a researcher. She's an author with an opinion.", can I?
It should be noted that parents not finding signs of gender dysphoria until they become obvious has a much simpler answer. The vast majority of people whose gender is assigned at birth usually match it for the most part. Transgender folks are a very small majority of all people. This leads to parents not finding signs of early onset of gender dysphoria simply because they aren't looking for it. If you're not looking for signs of something, you're unlikely to find it and will explain the signs you do see to something else.
Also the signs are explained away "your just a tomboy" "why cant you just be a masculine girl" its equally transphobia and misogyny, they dont think afab trans ppl can think for themselves.
For the algorithm 💚 also, the reason why afab individuals may typically go unnoticed in childhood could be due to the biased acceptance of our society today. It’s much easier for a girl to be a “tomboy” or be interested in masculine things than it is for a boy to be into the reverse. Therefore it may stick out in parents minds more when their son is into dolls than when their daughter is into roughhousing.
This. As a kid I was taught that girls could be anything, so even when I would proudly proclaim that I did or had x "like a boy/like boys do" it was treated as "yeah. girls can do anything sweetie!" Which led to me being really confused for awhile
This and also I know when I expressed discomfort with things about my body in adolescence (mostly my chest), it would get written off as ‘body image issues’ or ‘you’ll grow into it’ rather than actually heard for what I was saying. AFAB people have unrealistic body standards thrown at them from childhood and it can be hard to parse that out from gender identity things both as a kid and as someone listening to said kid.
@@kimmmimemwest1895 Because I wanted a flat chest instead of breast and in context of other things/wanting other masculine feature, for me it was a gender thing. And to respond to your other comment: As a non-binary person, yeah things shouldn’t immediately be assigned gendered qualities. It would solve a lot of problems, including transphobia and people not recognizing when AFAB people are trans. However, giving kids and adults more accurate information and language to talk about certain experiences if their kid is trans is also really important and would save a lot of people some heartache.
“Ignorance isn’t always coming from malice” Yes Jessie! 👏 Such a good point. You are the reason I’m understanding trans issues more. I love that you present your videos in a way where you take into account that you might be speaking to people (like myself) who don’t know very much about trans issues. You’re so good at that. It’s the reason I’m becoming more and more educated on the subject. I don’t know anyone trans in my personal life and your videos have helped me so much. Keep up the great work!
I was supposed to claim to be trans at 2-4? Jeez, I was like 25 before I started saying that. It must be some pseudoscience nonsense and not that my dad was a raging homophobe and I hid every scrap of anything feminine until well into adulthood... Ugh, transphobes are just so tiring. Thanks for being a positive voice Jessie
It's a catch-22 for trans people. Show signs when we're kids and we're "too young to know", and if we found out when we're older, we "can't be trans because we never show signs in childhood". Absolutely fuckin transphobic.
Adding to the bit about the parents feelings that being trans is scary or just signing up for a hard life, yeah its hard, but the parents can actually help a lot with that. Just being there and believing your kid will help with that. The costly medical care, the bullying, the high suicide rate generally go down by a lot if just the parents accept the kid. This has also happened to me. Not long after I came out as a trans man, my parents both blamed my largely qu33r (not really trans just generally que33r) friends were forcing me into it, even citing ROGD by name. This has irreparably hurt my relationship with my parents more than anything, nothing erases that. That is a deep scar and one that many trans men will have if their parents buy into this. I have compassion for all the trans men and enby folks that have suffered in this way, and I deeply wish the parents wake up and love their kids.
Damn, the points about afab people not being believed on facts about their own bodies and identities is so true it stings. And the rhetoric of trans women being the "real" trans folks is something that can be wielded even in our own community. It makes my heart happy to hear such a compelling breakdown of an argument against anti-ftm talking points in a way that doesn't further the divide between the afab and amab parts of our community. :'> We're all in this together! Appreciate you!
Exactly. It's genuinely painful to even hear our community continuing to fight amongst each other over who is trans and who isn't, with a lot of hatred towards gender expressions from TERF and radfem rhetoric that continues to not be critically examined within our community... I'm all for trans unity against outside bigotry continuing to divide us!
Thank you for talking about this. I feel like transphobia against trans men and transmasc people is a lot more insidious (when compared to the overt violence and ugliness of transmisogyny, that is) and often gets overlooked. That infantilizing dismissal of our identities and experiences that absolutely goes back to the misogyny of the medical system and its tendency to overlook anyone AFAB/socialized as a girl. The transmasc community is suffering so much for good representation (Elliot Page coming out was a huge deal, bless them.) In a way, that's been something of a privilege, because by having less visibility, we dealt with less hate. But the flipside is that so many of us suffered quietly for so long. And now with Shrier's fixation on transmasculine identities, new roadblocks and ignorance have definitely come up against transmasculine people, and young trans people in general. I can't imagine being such a hateful person that you target literal children and contribute directly to their pain, but Shrier's motives aside, I do think the vast majority of the people persuaded by her rhetoric are just scared, not hateful.
I see that bias against trans men even in progressive spaces. I used to follow a bunch of leftist skit channels and at one point during pride month they did skits like “trans *people* answer questions” or “things trans *people* are tired of hearing”, but said videos never included trans men nor non-binary people, only trans women .-. I absolutely love seeing transfem people being taken seriously and occupying spaces. I would like to see the same happening to my fellow transmasc people. Even the people who are supposed to be supporting us don’t seem to really care about us.
I deeply feel you a lot on this! It's not only disheartening to see bias and hatred against trans men and transmasc persons, but it's also infuriating because people in online spaces (who are supposed to support us) end up gobbling down TERF and radfem rhetoric, plus the "femininity = superiority" rhetoric that no one wants to admit is harmful (because no gender expression is superior or inferior to another) to online and offline trans communities. Not only that, but those who are supposed to support us end up uncritically believing a lot of TERF/GC and radfem bullshit, especially against trans guys and transmascs... even to make them feel like shit about being themselves.
I don’t think Prager U knows how old people who graduated high school a decade ago are. I’m 28, I graduated in 2010. Several of my friends and peers from high school have since transitioned.
Nor does she get that trans people who weren't out in high school, are coming out in their 20s-60s. Often with a lifetime of living in less fulfilled than had they come out earlier.
@@515aleon well if people could determine they were trans without being an impressionable teen then that kinda tears apart her argument. She can’t admit that it isn’t a new “fad”
I always have to sardonically laugh at the argument of "social media is trans-ing the kids" when in reality nearly every trans person that talks on social media about being trans will talk about the societal implications of the choice to transition. None of the trans creators I follow say that it's easy. They all tend to say that their problems didn't go away, if anything they have more problems now, but that they are categorically happier to be authentic to themselves. There are next to no illusions from trans creators that if you are trans you will face social hardship and bigotry.
37:16 "Being the adult in the relationship is the most loving thing you can do" How the heck is this good advice. She is telling parents to invalidate their children's gender identity because ~adults~ just have better grasp on a teen's inner identity than themselves.
I know with my TERF family member, simply getting her to stop talking about toilets constantly was a relief. It was basicly the topical go to for her for nearly a year. My parents were worried she had joined a cult.
I graduated high school in 2000. We had a number of LGBTQ folks running around but most were in the closet. One of my friends got kicked out by his father when he found out he was gay. I never even got to say goodbye... Fred wherever you are I hope you're living a beautiful, happy life! I only experience gender dysphoria when it comes to reproduction. That's literally it. The idea of being pregnant makes me freak out. I would sooner stab myself in the gut than be pregnant. I'm also genderqueer and have always BEEN genderqueer. I just lacked the language to describe or understand my feelings. When I was a small child I would get angry when people presented me with pink things, dolls, asked me about having babies, and being a mommy. I hated playing 'house' with friends because they kept making it this June Cleaver-style gender performance and even then I hated it! It felt WRONG! So yeah, if you'd asked 18 year old me if I was trans I would first be confused, as that term wasn't commonly used in my area (I'm in Arizona...) at that time. I would probably just say 'No I'm a tomboy or just a girl that doesn't like girly things.' but these days it's out in the open! That's fantastic! I'm so happy for young queer people!
I'm MTF and have a related problem: the moment I had the realization that I was actually a girl I was struck by an incredibly powerful impulse that I needed to be pregnant. Which is, unfortunately, not possible. Not that I'd want to be pregnant in the body I have now anyway. I hate my body.
Whenever I read ROGD, I can't stop reading it as rhyming with robbed, and then my mind says things like "It was her officer, she's the one that rogd me!" Whenever I watch one of the trans youtubers that helped me understand that I'm trans too
every day I wake up happy knowing that my top surgery makes people like abigail shrier angry. Their anger makes my joy that much sweeter, knowing that they can't stop me from being myself.
I had to undergo surgery this year, (gallbladder removal) it's a common procedure and still I had to talk to about 4 different doctors before hand to discuss the risks involved and had to wait a few months before treatment itself. So Shrier claiming that people can just walk into a gender clinic and get handed prescriptions for much more serious and extensive treatment is so counter-factual that I can only assume she is knowingly lying.
I want to add onto the social media perspective as a kid who delved into it as a teen intentionally: social media can be used to see other viewpoints and expand your beliefs/build crucial social circles when your family is suffocating you. My mother is a staunch conservative in all the usual ways and social media helped redirect my thinking on civil rights issues and helped me create a space for myself away from her harmful beliefs. When conservatives say "monitor your kids" it's absolutely a method of control. They're trying to limit their exposure to ideas they don't agree with so they can set their kid down the Right Path. My mother laments my sisters and I going on social media and cites specifically our queerness and general left leaning politics because she wanted us to share her beliefs. It's not completely about safety: it's a method of early indoctrination through isolation. You can see that in the disdain of college, too. So to me, that "limit your child on social media" is one of those things that is good sounding but because of who it is it's not actual what we would assume.
Oh how I love going to the gender clinic everyday after school to grab my daily dose of t to put in my cereal the next day before going to the doctors to get my surgeries :)
I definitely agree (speaking of course as a non-trans person, so take that for whatever it's worth) that _most_ people don't actually have any ill will toward trans people. Many people are at least moderately supportive. A lot of others are just unsure of what to think (usually very uninformed about all of it), maybe even confused. They may think it's "weird" or be a bit uncomfortable with the questions it brings up for them. And I think the actually hateful people are pretty rare. Loud as all h*ll, sure, but rather rare. Prager U is run by the latter (though they do try to not be entirely mask off about it) and so it's in their interest to get others to feel the same way, using manipulative language and misinformation, of course. A very close friend of mine somewhat recently came out as trans and though we don't live too close to each other these days, when checking in on my buddy, he seems to be doing well. His mom has made some effort to be supportive, his dad is more stand-offish and wary. And his brother has gone full on transphobe, constantly mis-genders him and has cut off all contact. I wasn't surprised by any of that, I knew my friends' brother was a pretty terrible person and I've had my own conflicts with the brother. But it has clearly hurt my friend who looked up to his brother growing up because his brother had all the "manly traits" my friend wished to have had. But in my friend's family, that's about 1 person in 10 that wound up being genuinely hateful. And again, not surprising given that the dude was already a blatant hard-r republican with very right-wing views... never found out if the guy was a full-fledged racist, because I never saw him outside of an all-white gathering, but he certainly had had some very negative things to say about a Hispanic co-worker just in passing conversation so it seemed likely.
I think that your observation is probably correct. My experience has been that most people don't seem to care much one way or the other, and are very accepting. I think that they just see me as another person who is a little bit unique.
It’s not an either/or situation, though. Sure, most people don’t actively hate transgender people, but a lot of those people still don’t actively support them. Furthermore, many don’t condemn the people who are malicious and hateful. It’s not 100% their fault, since we are all conditioned to believe it’s correct to always consider both sides of an issue. Only some of us break that programming or had the fortune of never getting programmed in the first place. I don’t want to come off like a total doomer. We have made tremendous progress in a relatively short time. I just won’t give people credit before they prove they’ve earned it.
It's galling how open they are with the attitude that "it doesn't matter how utterly garbage the studies we've done are, they establish the absolute reality." Everything from the "AGM" doctrines to the "oh noes, ROGD!" hype...
Young people are adults in training. Eventually, both parent and child will be "the adult in the relationship." It is frustrating, hurtful, and argh-inducing to see adults so openly dismiss the thoughts and opinions of the other humans they brought into the world. Watching people focus their training on creating fear, intolerance, and ignorance instead of independence, critical thinking, and compassion makes me tongue tied... you remain so eloquent and patient, Jessie💛 I agree that "fuck off" remains an eloquent option sometimes!
As an academic (historian), can confirm their content (ESPECIALLY but not limited to their history) is not only well below academic standards, but just bad, bigoted, and Fascist. Also I’ve also been doxxed and in it got not just antisemitic hate, but a shit ton of NB/Transphobia. So I know what youve gone through. Sending love.
It's kind of wild seeing PragerU talking about how easy it is to transition and then in the same week hearing from a trans woman on Discord that they're on like a 5 year waiting list before they'll even be considered for surgeries.
The amount of people I've been around who assume all trans people as not-valid or all trans people need to go thru GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery) to actually change their gender disgusted tf out of me, it doesn't affect them at any point but they still need to express their transphobic ignorance, this has to change fr
Frankly, the people who demand to abuse trans people who haven't gotten surgery are also the ones doing everything they can to *prevent* trans people from getting that surgery. (Notably, if I believed TERFs about 'transwomen being rapists' I'd be all *for* them getting surgery without freaking delay. Interesting how those hate-propagndists take the opposite stance just like their Fundie masters want. )
@@kimmmimemwest1895 That's how I feel towards people who have no respect for things LGBTQ related, I don't want to feel disgusted but when people refuse to accept things are progressing, that goes out the window
My nephew is trans. It surprised his mom because she thought maybe "she" was a lesbian but never saw trans coming. I expected it since puberty. He never acted comfortable with most "girl" things. Then he stared following trans UA-camrs and it cemented it in my head he was trans. I stared talking to trans friends of mine to see what I can do to help him. It was generally told do he let him figure it out in his own time. He came out less than a month later. If I didn't know trans people it may have SEEMED like it was sudden and the to social media, but I did and am happy I can be there for him
As a trans parent of a trans teen, it is my experience that treating your child with respect and affirmation builds trust and confidence both in your child and in your relationship. It does no harm to let kids explore their relationship with any aspect of themselves, including gender. Even if it is "just a phase", your child knows you genuinely love and care for them in their entirety and that you really will always be there for them because you *are*. It really just boils down to "love and support your kids".
i graduated high school in 2018. my first middle school relationship was with a trans guy. i knew several other trans people as well, some of which identify the same today and others who don't. i came out as bi at 14 and had my own queerness questioned recently by family members who said, "well when you were younger all your friends thought they were boys, so i figured it was a phase you would grow out of." i'm so frustrated with this notion that anyone is ever "too young" to understand their identity. thank you so much for covering this topic!!
As one of my other favorite trans personalities, Katy Montgomerie, says "Transphobia causes brain rot." Not only that, but targeting people susceptible to transphobic talking points makes for an easy stepping stone towards further reactionary thought. Much love, Jessie ❤️🏳️⚧️
PragerU: "This sudden explosion of 'girls' coming out as trans must be something to do with pollution. Stricter environmental regu- whoops, start over. Social media, yeah, that's it..."
Trans UA-camrs like you are one of the only reasons I’m comfortable with my identity as a non-binary person, Miles McKenna motivated me to come out to my parents. You have made me feel like I’m apart of something, like I’m not alone, so the fact that someone like this would try to say that kids shouldn’t have access to any of that wonderful, supportive community is disgusting. I admire you so much for being so level headed, informed and understanding. Thank you for being you!
Yeah I didn't know anyone who openly identified as trans when I was high school over 10 years ago. But at least two people I knew in high school have come out since. There could be more. I've lost touch with most of the people I knew back then. I'm so happy that as adults they feel safe to be themselves. And I'm glad that more kids feel that way at a younger age today.
So, in middle-school/high-school (when I began it was 7-to-9, when I graduated it was 7-to-12) I experienced testicular torsion...I recall hearing the doctor mention that I was an hour away from losing my dick and balls because of blood-loss to that area. I didn't know that "transgender" was a thing until at least 6 years later, when I was in college. And had I known that being trans was even a thing, this would have been the PERFECT time to begin transition to femme since I was barely into my first/AMAB puberty! Instead, I just have Myspace and AOL Instant Messenger and RuneScape accounts and Mii's and Facebook profiles and secondary emails and UA-cam accounts and pages upon pages of D&D characters from 1st Edition to 5th Edition where the entire conceit is "Me, but a girl". I'm pretty sure I have more dating app profiles where I'm marked as "F seeking either" than I have where I'm identified as "M". Which I guess cis-men people don't do.
@@onijester56 Same with the D&D characters. It started with a cute rapier-wielding sylph fighter when we switched from 3.5e to PF. In the time since then I have made, uh… about 2 male PF characters? And multiple pages of female characters, which have gotten increasingly overtly horny over time. I also used to not correct people on discord when they assumed from my speech patterns and (at the time) hyper-aggressive, prudish feminism that I was a girl. Oh and I played a girl on Spiral Knights. Back in the Runescape days there was enough stigma against G.I.R.L.s (remember that acronym? Guy In Real Life?) that it never occurred to me to play a girl… even though I _did_ often find my character to be lame, even though he was just me but an adult. Also my first two Dragonfable characters were guys… but eventually when I made a rogue I just kinda decided to make her a girl and then I never played either of my male characters again.
"Rates of anxiety, depression and instances of self-harm are at all record levels for this generation" ... which is NOT AT ALL the responsability, consequence or fault of the previous generation, which has shaped the current media, culture and economic environment. Oh no, the reason our Becky wants to off herself must be the 15 yo girl with teal hair and strange clothes, that's the reason.
I winder if Abigail understands the ethical issues with the claim "A woman is still just a woman... Being the man in the relationship is the most loving thing you can do."
To answer that loaded question, yes, it would have seemed like there were far fewer trans people when I was growing up. However, it's not because they didn't exist. In addition to the obvious reasons, it's also possible they didn't know. Had you asked me back then, I'd have given you a very different answer. I didn't know for years and years, because I'd developed so many coping mechanisms to deflect. When my friend came out as a trans man, I thought binary trans was the only possibility, therefore it couldn't apply to me. When I eventually did research on nonbinary genders, I thought it was something that had to be "diagnosed" by a therapist or psychiatrist, yet I'd been in therapy for years and nobody ever did. When I looked up how to tell if you're trans or NB, I thought the sources were flawed, because while I fit many of the signs, I assumed it was due to my depression. When I listened to trans content creators like Abigail Thorn and her coming out video, I felt like I was appropriating the feelings and experiences of "genuine" trans people. I thought I was simply desperate to be anything other than depressed, because that was easier to accept. I discovered my identity much later in life, and the realization hit like a ton of bricks. I only figured out that I have gender dysphoria after the fact, because I had previously mistaken it for depression (again) and body dysmorphia, which is not the same thing. To an uninformed outsider, it would have looked like some kind of "rapid onset." For context, I'm older than most of the trans content creators I follow, so yes, it's entirely possible to not know until a later age. I simply did not have access to the necessary information, education, or language to describe what I was experiencing growing up.
Those studies of only AMAB people had some people saying trans women were far more common than trans men (no mention of non-binary). This was one of the reasons it took me so long to figure myself out. If there is an increase in AFAB people transiting I'd suggest it's that this info isn't being passed around not "sudden onset gender disphoria"
YES!!! "We let kids know that trans men exist, and suddenly a bunch of trans men have the vocabulary to describe themselves! Clearly this is horrible." - Literally the same recycled argument used to say that homosexuality wasn't appropriate for children...
Honestly the invented phenomenon about 'rapid onset gender dysphoria' is no different from parents who spent a very long time forcing their own kids into conformity and trying to stop them being gay, turning around and saying 'This is so sudden, you must be insane' when you finally stop hiding from them and come out even as gay. It's really about *their* 'shock' when denial doesn't work anymore, not what the kids are or have been going through. Also in a culture that tries to 'blame the parents' if they don't successfully gender-police their kids into conformity, they claim/want to believe so to avoid that 'blame.' Even if it means actually ripping the family apart about it.
Autism was also this mostly boys thing before. Now there is a sharp rise in girls with autism diagnoses. "It must be the youtubes brainwashing them into autism-ism!"/s
@@schnizzyfizz7832 YES!!! This! Also ADHD...and literally every medical issue/drug was primarily studied in men until . Literally medication for ovarian cancer was studied on all cis men. AFAB children (And AFAB people in general) have been ignored by medical studies for literally the entire history of medical studies.
@@schnizzyfizz7832 Admittedly, it seems the definition of 'autism' has expanded somewhat since I was a kid, and it kinda meant those kids who could barely communicate with the rest of the world, and Asperger's was kind of this separate almost always boys thing. Before they went to saying 'spectrum' I heard stuff about how Aspieness in girls goes. By those standards, they coulda tagged me with that, maybe, but I don't see how it' d have made any difference if so. :)
Jessie, your optimistic belief that most people want to be helpful and caring is so completely sweet and innocent. I know you aren't naïve, but somehow you cling to that belief, and I love it. I'm too jaded to give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
I cannot even begin to say how this video affected me. I'm still in tears. As a father to a trans son, you laid out and explained how I feel so precisely. I don't think I even understand how guilty I felt for even having these feelings until I heard them out loud. I love my son, I will support and care for him no matter what. But it is so terrifying to know I can't protect him from being trans. Not that he is transgender but how the world will treat him. I didn't even know I needed my feelings validated. You are very talented and I am thankful for what you do.
The first 1,000 people to use this link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare: skl.sh/jessiegender12211
I think that you need a hug for doing this!🤗🤗🌈
I don't mean to sound malicious, I honestly mean no Ill will when I say this, that thumbnail picture isn't doing you any favors, I don't know if it was your intention but you look extremely smug to a cartoonish degree, idk just something I thought you should know
drink and drive. also who's Rebecca Chambers?
Is the tea Earl Grey, Hot?
First of all, it's very personally gratifying to have a highlighted comment from you :D
Second, I was born in the city where you apparently live! Seattle is both much better *AND* much worse than it was when I grew up.
Sorry for ranting once again - but this topic is just a bit too dear to me not to ... ;)
A few things to note:
- When I clenched my fists back in kindergarden and stomped and loudly DEMANDED my very own peepee ... people were laughing and calling me "such a cute little girl".
- When I only hung out with the other boys, and even became the leader of my very own boys gang ... I was shamed for being a tomboy.
- When at age 8 I cut my hair from calf length to a crew cut ... people were telling me "what a shame" it was that I let go of my "natural beauty".
- When I mostly played with Lego and Transformers and my favourite TV shows where The Ewoks and He-Man ... my father had to convince others that it was "totally fine for a girl" to like these things.
- When I refused to go to needleworks classes and instead demanded to join the other boys at home improvement classes ... I was shamed for being an "unruly girl" and spending "too much time with boys".
- When I started exclusively wearing pants ... I was complimented for being a "strong girl who did not conform to stereotypes".
- When I first started showing interest in the LGBTQA+ community (back then just for my lack of interest in what gender my partners had) ... my mother seemingly out of the blue started telling me stories about some of her clients. She NEVER talked about work, but suddenly she started telling me about those "sick, pathetic, poor guys who try to become women". How she was so happy that "her little girl was normal". How those poor bastards "never, ever found happiness".
- When I started showing an interest in programming and IT in general ... I was discouraged to go down that path and was "gently urged" to attend business school instead (joke's on them, I graduated in business IT and became a programmer all the same :D).
- When I made my career in this supposedly "male" job ... I was applauded for being a "role model, a strong woman in a man's world".
- When I asked - no, BEGGED - for my ovaries to be being taken out because they kept developing cysts, and I had decided IN KINDERGARDEN that I never wanted to give birth to a child, anyway ... I was told that (at age 30) I had no way of knowing whether I really didn't want to have biological children.
- When I heard for the first time (at ... something like 35???) that trans people are NOT just MTF, but there WAS such a thing as FTM ... I was told to ignore that nonsense, that it was just a couple of hyper feminists with penis envy.
- When I tried to explain that in a way I actually HAD penis envy, just not in the sense that the words are usually used (heck, I "made it" in this "men's world", nothing to be envious about) ... I was unironically told to just get myself some adult toys.
- When I finally came out as trans ... I was denied health insurance, because my insurance company told me that nobody "suddenly" turns trans at age 40.
- And even now, when I have a whole army of doctors and therapists (and, heck, most of the people who have known me all my life) confirming that I most definitely am a man, when all of my documents have my real name on them (and the word "male", where applicaple) ... even now I keep getting told that this is "just a phase" and I will "eventually grow out of it". At 40. When I first "demanded" to get my penis at age 3. That's a 37 year long "phase", and still going strong, eh?
...
Geeeeeeeeeeze, I wonder: why are there so few trans men in my generation ...?
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry you had such a hard road. I hope you're getting to live how you want now.
I hope the last months have brought you happiness and prosperity!
Exactly the point.
I'm 47...I get it. Too well..
When they told you that nobody suddenly becomes trans at 40... change the subject to health in general.
Talk a little bit about nutrition.
Talk about exercise.
Talk about people who caught the fitness bug and began running when they were 40.
And then ask:
"Do you think they are just kidding themselves?
No one just becomes a runner at age 40!
We shouldn't sell them any running shoes or running clothes or a watch, right?
We shouldn't celebrate them for finding something in life that brings them joy, right?
Do you understand the parallel now, Doctor?
How old are you doctor?
Because I can tell you one thing.
Following your logic, and applying it to yourself, the rest of your life is mapped out your life is over. You will never grow past who you are now.
How does that make you feel... "Doctor"?"
"If you start a course of testosterone, all of your problems will go away"
That's actually what's marketed to me, a (straight) cismale, lol
Bwuhahahaha
Good one!
Gotta get that Vince Zant glow!
@@johnc3525yeah, no it's not
Its funny bc we (trans ppl) are told by doctors over and over it WONT solve all our problems. To a point where jt is patronizing. Like yes ik ive been wanting this for so long ik exactly what it will do and what problems it will solve.b
"You can just walk into a clinic and get hormones." I wish. It's almost been a year and I haven't even gotten to see a psychologist to even consider putting me on hormones.
I guess it depends where you live. Here we have informed consent for hormones. I know people who saw a doctor once and walked out with a prescription. They were adults though. But for bottom surgery you need both a psychiatrist/therapist letter AND at least a year on HRT though.
Yeah, no... It does depend on where you live. I'm in the US in a pretty blue state and I was able to get hrt after one visit planned parenthood at 19, with no diagnosis or anything needed. I'm really sorry you're in that situation, you deserve bodily autonomy :(
This is a mood. It takes months to get put on a list to see someone in my city to even get hormones, let alone getting top done willy nilly
What country/ state are you located in, and are you just unable to afford the meds from a private clinic? Because in the US, there are a number of these clinics throughout the country. Tbh I think many of them are irresponsible
I mean, getting birth control was pretty easy. 15 minutes in a doctors office. Then you can just walk in for years to get them at the pharmacy. Then again, I am female and the hormones are considered that as well.
But for trans folks, they have to wait years. Pretty ridiculous, since they put hormones in chickens without telling us and without consent. I think you need to be 16 as transgender to get hormones here, 12 for blockers and 18 for surgery (AND having had hormones for 2+ years). Consults are probably delayed due to covid too :/
I feel like it's a lot more okay for little "girls" to do "boy" things and that they're usually just called tomboys if a afab starts dressing like a boy or cutting their hair when they're older, but amab get mocked a lot more for dressing like a "girl" and are usually banned from playing with pink stuff or Barbies, that could be a reason afab people don't realize they're trans till they're older or when they hit puberty
I find that interesting because while I was assigned F at birth i was a very feminine kid and was bullied for it in much the same way someone assumed to be a little boy would've been. I'm still trying to figure out why it happened to me, I feel like my gender is almost like someone the universe wanted to be a boy but I failed at it in almost every way (I consider myself genderqueer).
I feel like on a gender level I am probably more "boy" leaning but I don't know if that's who I really am or if I'm just so ashamed of my femininity that I suppress anything that isn't masculine. I used to repress my attraction to men because of this. Apologies for this i hope it's not trauma dumping or anything i just wanted to put my experience out there weird as it is
@@lizardabyss7035 everyone's experience is different. I'm a gay man who was closeted until I was twenty ( I'm thirty eight now) and it drove me close to suicide. Now I wouldn't want to be any other way even if I could. Everyone is different. The problem is that everyone wants to be the same and be "normal". There is no such thing. You're not weird at all.
@@lizardabyss7035 I still have a pretty good group of online friends (mostly male gamers) who are now in their 30s and 40s. They're mostly pretty decent people, pretty accepting (though, quite vulgar with each other, y'know, dudes).
However, they still stigmatise everything they perceive as feminine. They make fun of me for enjoying makeup and nail polish. They make fun of me for caring for my skin. For wearing sunscreen. And they don't really see the problem with that, at all.
Misogyny is absolutely still a thing that affects many of us. You can change the constitution and laws fairly quickly, but you can't change cultural norms and individual minds anywhere near quickly enough. We're equal on paper, alone. 😕 Femininity is still perceived as lesser.
@@cullenarthur8879 thank you a lot didn't see this till now but i truly appreciate that. I am slowly learning the same lesson and to be comfortable in who i really am.
I hate how it's always " the precious girls who have to be saved from being transformed into men" (to secure future breeding machines, of course) and "the predatory men disguising themselves as womz" ugh
@@johnc3525 surgeries are life saving for most trans people, and we're not a trend
They aren’t for some trend
Yep, it's the typical misogyny and misandry that comes from the conservative and TERF communities.
It’s institutionalized sexism
Even though they can still get pregnant as men
"A teenager is just a teenager" 🤮
Ah yes, because teenagers aren't humans with real, actual, independent thoughts and feelings 🙄 These people annoy me so much. Your stomach is much stronger than mine for being able to sit through all that sort of thing for your research!
And like, if they're saying that teenagers are too young to know themselves, then the answer is put everyone on blockers until they're 25. But they would never go for that. Because we know what this is really about.
Kids are autonomous people not defective people 💜
"A teenager is just a teenager" -the same people who 1) Have military recruitment days at high schools, 2) Say it's better to go to the like 3 yearly school dances with a date than a friend group, 3) Say "men and women can't just be friends" and "he'll marry you some day" about me and my then best friend when we were (checks notes) 14 and 15 respectively, and 4) Encourage us to take on tens of thousands of dollars in student debt.
@@oreganospiceable oh yes! that would have been so awesome for me. I had no idea that being transgender was even a thing in 1981, but I KNEW without a doubt that I did not want to develop facial hair. I won't go into my personal story too much, but 40 years later, still wish I didn't grow facial hair.
@@BadAstra Don't forget libertarians wanting to change the concent laws regarding these teenagers.
As an AFAB individual, all early signs of my trans-ness were written off as "Tomboy Behavior" and I was 100% expected to grow out of it. I'm 36 now... pretty sure some of my family (who I have no contact with anymore due to their phobic BS) are still expecting me to 'grow out of it'... any day now... Totes gonna happen, suuuuure.
I hope you have the chosen family you deserve! -fellow trans guy ❤️
At this rate of you do any more growing you'll be to tall to fit though any doorways.
In all seriousness, as a fellow trans person I wish you the best in your future endeavours. Hope you surround yourself with people who love you for you.
I haven’t grown out of it since 3rd grade.. I’m a Trans Guy lol :)
You remember the 5yo "boy" who likes to dress up as a princess, you don't remember the 5yo "girl" who likes to dress up as a pirate.
Same!! When I went through puberty, I had all of my "boy" stuff thrown away because I'm "a blossoming young woman" [🤮] & things were supposed to be different. Lmao. And I mean... I did know tons of tomboys who ended up being comfortable with their assigned gender! Buuut... Not all of us were tomboys. Some of us are boys, or somewhere in between. 🙃
I'm turning 30 & only now just come out as a demiboy & I finally feel connected to my body/how I convey myself to the world. 💙🤍💙
I love how the proposed solution to children having trouble and being confused is always to give them LESS information.
Teenagers getting pregnant? Abstinence only education!
Your kid questioning their gender? don't tell them about gender!
I will never understand why this makes sense to some people. Usually the best way to alleviate confusion is to give someone access to MORE information. You know...because confusion is usually caused by a lack of information.
@@gabrielsalahi3656 What's so harmful to a child about explaining what sex is or explaining what gender is? You don't need to go into any nitty gritty details about it(Unless provoked further, than I think it's fine to provide information) but if they ask about it, what is harmful about presenting the information in an easy to digest way for a child? Children are exposed to religion all the time, and religion has some very messed up things in it, but we still teach kids about that in a kid friendly way. Hell conservatives all across the country teach kids how to carry and fire a loaded gun. How is that okay but this isn't?
@@gabrielsalahi3656 Because there are grown adult men who want to use their pp to hurt little kids, and it’s better they learn the vocabulary so it’s admissible in court, and that child SA victims have better chances of identifying and exculpating their abusers.
@@gabrielsalahi3656 And for the “certain things shouldn’t be taught until later on” yes, they shouldn’t be explicitly taught. With a filter, yes, kids can have a base level understanding of the subject matter, so they don’t get too confused and insecure about their bodies and sex as they get older.
Because in their mind the information _is_ the problem. They view these things as cognito hazards. In their minds, kids are "normal," and remain "normal," unless they somehow learn that "deviancy" exists, in which case just knowing the "deviancy" exists will cause their minds to be consumed by the "deviancy," effectively turning the child into a completely different person
@@gabrielsalahi3656 40% of what? I was speaking broadly. What thing are you getting specific about?
honestly I usually give the "greater numbers" counterargument of "Yeah, and there was a giant uptick of left-handed people when it stopped being punished with caning in schools"
Facts... transphobes don't like them. Facts interfere with their analysis.
25:48 this hit home for me because when I came out as trans, I didn't think my dad was very supportive of me, but one day he pulled me aside to have a talk about me being trans, and he was trying to reassure me that I'd be okie and that him and mom still loved me and that everything would be okie. and then he broke down crying, the second time in my entire life I saw him cry openly in front of me (I was about 17 or 18 when this happened and he didn't even cry in front of me when his parents passed for context), and I'll never forget the words he said to me while he cried his eyes out for an hour and I held him,
"out of everything you could have been, why did it have to be a black trans women? you could have been born a girl, you could have been gay, disabled, a lesbian, bisexual, anything else! black trans women... that's the one that gets killed the most... that's the one that gets killed the most..."
in that moment, I knew he wasn't against me transitioning, but I had never seen him so scared in his life
Oof, this punched me right in the gut. I hope you're living safe and well rn
@@beaucarbary5619 I am, thank you :3
Good fucking lord...stay safe, friend. It's a scary world out there.
Damn, that gave me goosebumps. Your dad really loves and cares for your security. It *is* tough out there:(
Hey...
Sending loads of hugs to you and I hope that you're staying safe and living safe because you deserve freedom and you deserve to be safe (your self-preservation and well being comes first!)
🫂🫂🫂🫂
Oh Lord, I bet she thinks autism and ADHD only affect boys too just because the early research on those conditions excluded everyone else. You can't use past discrimination to justify ongoing discrimination, Abigail. 🙄
So does that make philosophy tube evil Abigail Shriner? (based on the evil _meme, like ke evil trump or bizzaro super man)
God I had to do my own research on ADD/ADHD in like middle school to find out I wasn't being diagnosed, because my brother was diagnosed as ADHD and was bouncing off the walls hyperactive, while I had zero attention span (except when what I now know was hyperfocusing) in the spacey kind of way, and later found out my parents dismissed suggestions from teachers to get me evaluated for years. Tried to explain what I had learned, and how it sounded like what dealt with, but I was so different from my brother I was ignored. Finally had them agree to have me looked at when I was 17 and at the end of junior year of highschool (where I had struggled a lot, not just from the ADHD but the just showing it's head depression and anxiety thanks to a cross country move), and got diagnosed after I turned 18 that december (since insurance and everything would have to change then anyways we decided to wait till then), and turned out that yes, what I researched 5 years ago was correct, and I did have a very strong case of ADHD. That's when I found out that they'd brushed off things teachers had said since first grade- before my brother was diagnosed, just because I wasn't the run around can't sit down kind of hyperactive like they thought ADHD was, meanwhile I was punished severely for having trouble focusing at times and called lazy and not trying hard enough for the things I struggled with. Watching the D I was struggling to get in math shoot up to a B almost immediately was such an I told you so moment mixed with self soothing that I really had been trying my best before and there was reasons why it was hard. Ugh so annoyed just thinking about all that.
I had to stop and correct my health teacher when they said Autism and ADHD mostly effects boys. Me being Autistic 😐
@@MariaThePotterNut Did your parents ever apologize? My mom also ignored my signs and pleas to get evaluated until I was 17 as well. So much of my potential wasted because she didn’t want a neurodivergent kid.
Now she has three of us to deal with and she’s much more understanding.
She realized her mistakes with me and apologized when I was diagnosed, which helped me feel a lot better, but sometimes I still think about how different things could’ve been if I was diagnosed sooner and made use of the resources put out there for us. I often have to tell myself that the past is the past and I made it to the college I wanted either way, so everything’s alright.
I’m having a hard time staying around for this video. Hearing trans boys be repeatedly referred to as girls and trans girls repeatedly referred to as boys is making me sick to my stomach.
I know, it’s not great.
@@gabrielsalahi3656 Elaborate.
@@gabrielsalahi3656 Maybe because there is still a massive stigma against trans people, and there are people brutal enough to put their words to actions. Also, trans kids being bullied happens way too much, and that is the base for what causes so much depression and su*cidal ideation, along with the extremely painful gender dysphoria which makes them very uncomfortable in their bodies.
@@gabrielsalahi3656 trans kids who try to come out and are denied any support are more likely to end their lives than kids whose identities are respected. This respect is usually just calling them by the words they prefer, letting them wear the clothes they're comfortable in, etc. It doesn't have to mean life-altering surgeries and for the vast majority of trans kids it literally doesn't mean that. Also taunting and stomping on the feelings of kids who are already at a statistically higher rate of endangering themselves isn't going to make their lives any easier.
Also why tf are you stealing my guy Jorge's icon
@@gabrielsalahi3656 Where on Earth are you getting that 80-90% stat from?
for me personally, the age that they're claiming "teenage girls" develop gender dysphoria is right around the time I suddenly had a super feminine body and no longer felt comfortable in it. also, even with parents who are trans-affirming, my aunt has told me that she worries about the possibility of her kid being trans/generally queer just because life would be harder for them and no parent wants their kid to face discrimination. she's super receptive and curious about my experience as a tran so I'm not worried.
I wonder if part of it wouldn't also be that boys (from the youngest possible age) are belittled for feminine seeming traits, whereas girls are allowed to be tomboys for a heck of a lot longer.
So disphoria in childhood would be stronger for the one who isn't allowed to present themselves the way they want than for the one who can skate by for a few more years presenting how they want.
This is coming from a person who is not trans but also never understood why my parents took pause at the fact that my one male roommate i had in college wore skirts around the house. He was surrounded by 3 female roommates but was a chill person and very devoted to his girlfriend. He was comfortable like that but so many people shamed him for it because he was "a normal boy otherwise"
@@alliew31 Also Ace and demiromantic, and while my dad seems to understand, I'm not sure my mother realizes I'm not joking when I answer "Never" to "When are you getting married and having kids?" Thankfully, she doesn't push the issue, but being her only child I worry that may change in the future.
@@catelynh1020 ugh. i wish people would realise that clothes are just clothes
I'm not even trans, but I had a VERY similar experience. Just feeling like suddenly, people were paying too much attention to me, for the wrong reasons. Hating my boobs, because people looked at them.
But I was also very much a tomboy, and that was praised by my (narcissistic ass) father. He'd call me "the son [he] never had," in front of my 3 brothers.
And then suddenly, he couldn't ignore that I was actually female. I couldn't ignore it, because so many people around me changed how they treated me. I hated it.
I'm a lot more comfortable in my own skin, now, but it took a pretty long time. I think a lot of it was internalised misogyny, growing up in a fairly culty religion that told me I had no inherent value; my value came from what I could do for my future husband, how many kids I could pop out, for him, and to support him in HIS spiritual and financial success (Jehovah's Witnesses, btw). And all of the leaders of the church are male, and couldn't understand why a girl wouldn't be happy existing solely as a support figure for a man.
Puberty is a turbulent time, at best, for girls. At worst, it just shows you how little respect most men have, for women. And that skeezed me out hard, for a long time.
But I'm also fairly asexual, and had some confusion about that, too. The thought of things like marriage (🤢) and having children (🤮) filled me with anxiety and dread, and I didn't know why, for a very, very long time.
It's a rough time. That's all I'm trying to say, I think. Even in the best circumstances, it's difficult.
Same... The pressure to shave, to start wearing makeup, caring about hair, wearing bras... I don't like those things, but was bullied for not doing them, so I had to fake it (which I was used to since I had undiagnosed learning disability, ADHD and other struggles I had to hide), but the last few years I've been struggling, with body changes due to not being underweight anymore, with what clothes fit, let alone are things I like, and with what words I like. I've questioned a lot and realized I don't have to be girly. Honestly, a lot of those things that came from bullying (like shaving) still remind me of the rude comments whenever I do them, so it's been freeing to realize I don't have to fit the binary, and that I can experiment with clothes and dress for how I feel, not just whatever fits. Although learning how to sew helped a lot with that, I can make my own non-binary clothing styles that fit my unusual proportions.
*Parents:* "You can't be gender fluid. You never showed a single hint of anything like that your whole life! You've always been a normal girl."
*Me:* "Soon after I learned to speak sentences I told y'all I used to be a boy and that I'd have mutton chops when I was an old man. I'd tell people "I'm not a boy or a girl, I'm Spiderman." Usually chose a 'boys' Halloween costume. I hated being made to wear dresses or pink, cryed the entirety of my aunt's wedding because they forced me be the 'flower girl', hated dolls and would only play with dinosaurs, cars, and stuffed animals. In highschool, I was the first 'girl' to join the wrestling team, went by the nickname Leonard, and tried out to be the school mascot because I wanted a beard. Dad literally calls me the son he never had. He told me about how I used to love when he'd dress me up in plaid and overalls and go around calling me Buddy Lee and people would think I was a little boy."
*Parents:* "... Well you were just a bit of a tomboy, that's all."
“I’m not a boy or a girl; I’m Spider-Man!” I’m stealing that line
You're Spiderman? I need some pictures for my newspaper. Can we discuss payment?
Dude! Spiderman is still a guy - SpiderMAN! 😝
@@pavlabrisudova4251so goofy 🙃🙃🙃 what a silly goober 🤪😜🙃 blehh 😝
This sounds like my mother. She was surprised when I liked boys *at all* I was such a little raging butch-in-training my entire childhood, I've been getting called a lesbian since before I even knew what that meant and now she's acting like the shift to "oh. Some of that was about gender not just sexuality" is super confusing. 💀🤦
There were many cultures in the past who had no word for blue. To them, blue didn't exist--when in reality, it was just invisible to them because blue was so rare. The only blue in their worlds was the sky or the sea, which they just described as other colors or not at all--like it was just understood. It wasn't until blue dye started circulating that (most of) these cultures made or adopted a word for it. Does that mean that blue didn't exist until they saw blue dye? No, it was always there; they just didn't have a word for it. Trans people have always existed. Now that we have more information, trans people--like the color blue--are more visible. That's how science works. You can't compare a standard of "how things were" a few generations ago as "normal." A few generations ago, they also didn't know shit about autism, dyslexia, and a plethora of medical conditions or states. That doesn't mean they didn't exist.
Yep, language can very much drive perception. This is something many people outside of linquistics and neuroscience really understand much. You go to your typical English speaker and show them a whole pannel of red shades with one pink and they can readily pick that pink one out as being different.... because we have unique word in English for particular shades we will call pinks that we differ from reds...... At the same time were you to go to the Himba people in Namibia and show them the same panel they wouldn't be able to pink out hte pink as being different. At the same time those Himba people whne shown a panel of green shades would likely pink out one as very unique that an English speaker wouldn't recognize... because they have unique words for specific shades of what we would call greens in their language.
Before you have provided with a language to describe something, that something can go unrecognized by you. It is still there, but you just don't really differentiate it from the surrounding.
This is something the average person isn't typically going to even be conscious of.
The moment Prager said you can't have morals without God, I thought their agenda was abundantly clear.
That’s EXACTLY the same reason i went from thinking they just “had a different opinion” to understanding that they’re an actual problem.
I rarely comment on UA-cam, but just wanted to point out that Shrier's point about there being no studies of AFAB adolescents is just straight up wrong. There are - in her book, she states that she couldn't find anything studying "gender dysphoria" in AFAB adolescents. The reason for that is simple - dysphoria wasn't the diagnosis until 2013. If you search JSTOR for teenagers and gender identity disorder, several studies pop up studying it in AFAB individuals. Her search terms were faulty and she just took it as fact.
Shrier doesn't care about facts.
And if you show her the studies, she will just said that it's propaganda.
She in her own book writes how she, or th parents, not the kids, the parents she choses to listen frank ignore medical advice, like literally parents getting told, sorry we arent the right adress, here is a gender assignment clinic that can help.
An her main source is a disgraced doctor ith a closed clinic who was just horrific and did conversion therapy stuff. Horrible abuse. Th oe doctor he chose to trust.
Alsolisten to not anything and as "journalist" dimissing literally every doctor sh doesnt like.
And listening to parents, nnot actual teenagers. because why not saying parental bias are "facts"
As has been shown so far in the (frankly amazing) series of dissection videos by Cass Eris, Shrier views facts as optional. Facts are only valid when they can be twisted to suit her transphobic worldview. Seriously, if you have the time I would highly recommend watching the videos (though since they are talking about the books there is a fair amount of transphobia shown, though Cass does their best to mitigate it).
This is because, as Jammie Dodger pointed out, she's not a doctor. She doesn't know wtf she is doing, or talking about, but that just helps her with a certain crowd who distrusts science and intellectuals.
What does JSTOR mean?
as someone who didn't have a clue she was a girl until she was in her late 20's, I find the whole "Gender dysphoria presents exclusively in early childhood" thing to be ENDLESSLY FRUSTRATING.
For me it first showed up when I hit puberty… but I didn't really know the signs, y'know? I didn't know to _think_ "I'm a girl"… I probably should have, though, when after my first Pathfinder character was a girl I proceeded to almost exclusively make female characters from then on. When I found an odd comfort in being mistaken for a girl in online spaces. But for some years there in the 2000s, the concept of a "G.I.R.L." (Guy In Real Life) carried such stigma online that I had no hope of having it occur to me to play a girl.
@FlameUser64 girl... this is really relatable😭
@@johnc3525 cis people mystify dysphoria. They talk about it like it is this all consuming thing where you look in the mirror and say "why don't I look like a girl". For a lot of us, indeed I'd say the vast majority of us, the waters were significantly muddier. This isn't to say there weren't signs. When I was in pre-school I exclusively wanted to spend time with the girls. In kindergarten the girls socially ostracisized me and made it clear that someone like me wouldn't be welcome around them. When I fantasized about having a child and being a mother I was told "You can't be that, that's not what you are, but you can be a father." and I accepted it because I assumed older people knew better. When I became a teenager, I looked forward to my body changing--until it did and suddenly I hated everything about myself "He's just depressed," they said, "he needs exercise, or to just learn to love himself". I didn't know what trans people *were* until I was a teenager, and when it was explained to me it was with an odd contempt "They are weird, they are other, they are not like *us*" and I just assumed that was what it was. I wrapped myself in that self-loathing and internalized transphobia and I shut out every thought that that might be me for another ten years, creating a mask that I wore so rigorously I never even learned what my face actually was. Until I took a chance, until I let it slip for just a second and discovered what I was behind it. That's how you go 30 years without discovering your trans. That's how you go 40, or 50, or even 60 years. You push all the thoughts that you might be into a box and you forget the box exists.
I had some concept of non binary as a 4 year old in the 90s. I knew I wasn't a boy but somehow I felt like I wasn't properly a girl either despite having a girl's private parts.
"Lots of 'girls' only came out as trans after going on social media."
Setting aside the bad sources in that claim... yeah, of course social media can do that. I lived for 25 years before experiencing any conscious dysphoria because, lacking any real representation in contemporary media, I just assumed that things like never looking in the mirror or avoiding seeing my body was a normal thing people just did. Getting to know trans folks and discovering trans content creators is what led me to think maybe it wasn't normal. It's not psychological, it's sociological, and why media representation matters.
They also fail to mention how the wrong-kind of social media can keep trans people in the closet for years such as in my case.
as someone who had never even heard of the words "trans" and "non-binary" until i was like 20, i grew up so isolated and confused, and just FINALLY finding community and understanding took off like half my dysphoria.
i spent all my teenage years as a suicidal shut-in. now THAT is irreversible damage!
@@landis9767 I had a very similar experience. I was lucky enough to discover the trans community while still in high school through a summer camp I attended. But most of my information still came from online platforms. Without that camp though I would never have had to words to look up what I was feeling, because no one ever talked about things like gender expression and dysphoria to me.
Edit: By gender expression I'm talking about things like how as a teenager I always wanted to be like my older brother, and resented anything that would make me seem "girly"
@landis9767 I hadn't heard of trans anything until high school when a classmate I associated with would tease me by saying I watched "tranny midget porn." After looking up what tranny meant, I kind of just pushed it to the back of my mind. It wasn't until I was about 20 or 21 that I started really looking into my own transness and that was because Against Me! released their Transgender Dysphoria Blues album and something in me just clicked.
FR!! when i discovered what non binary was, my first instinct was researching online and watching trans youtube creators talking about it, majority of which had those "welcome to the trans community and it's information" type of videos exactly because it was a very new subject floating around mainstream media. It took me years to realize i was non-binary myself even being informed on the subject, descovering it made me really glad because i stopped having frequent and severe body dissociation and deformation, currently waiting on a personaly sized binder
"When your child tells you theyre having an allergic reaction, remember, youre the adult in the room, and just tell them they dont."
is effectively her 3rd point.
I'm fairly certain I know the gender clinic she's referring to in oregon. She is technically correct that you do not need parental permission, but that's because the age of medical consent for a bunch of things in oregon is 15, not specifically hormones. Additionally, it's not a same day thing. The waits for an appointment are weeks long and you need multiple appointments, a blood test, and to sign paperwork acknowledging the effects of the treatment, etc.
Yeah I’m pretty sure that age of consent laws for care is only relegated in most states to mental health services. I know in PA where I live that people always mistake the law for being able to consent to mental health care (even against parental wishes) at 14 is so often misinterpreted as referring to any care. The trans kids are probably just receiving mental health services for their dysphoria and not medical services until they’re older. Doctors don’t even recommend any medical transitioning besides puberty blockers until a person is past puberty at which point they’re probably considered a legal adult anyways.
@@fionatastic0.070 No, it does extend to medical services in oregon at least. And it is absolutely not true that doctors don't reccomend hormones until legal adulthood. They're usually permitted around 15-16
@@SheWhoExists Oh that’s good to know. Thanks for the correction. I’m glad that they can make the decision to get treatment for their dysphoria.
There are clinics like that all over the country, over-prescribing whatever teens want and creating a lot of serious health risks. Everyone in healthcare thinks this is concerning and wouldn't want the risks for their own children. Of course, teens can get birth control, ab0rt10ns, &other sorts of healthcare, so there are risks with all of these things. We're very "free" in the US and that comes with responsibility. Don't take meds or undergo procedures unless you're sure you need them
I mean, at that age you probably know your gender and don't need your parents to make decisions.
Detrans person here: I was on T for a month and realized I wasn’t trans. Terfs need to stop weaponizing me and others like me. It’s sickening. Terfs: hands off of me, I support the trans community completely.
Thank you for your support ❤
I wish you luck on your journey!❤
Thanks for your support. It means a lot ❤
Holy crap a detrans who ain’t attacking us :0
All hail a good person 🥹
Fr tho
Thanks for not being a shitkazoo :)
Heart emoji ❤
"Tragically we've made it far too easy for our youth to go through a path that is irreversible damages and is totally life altering" said the woman who is totally cool with the new abortion bans currently hitting the US.
Now to mention the "irreversible, life-altering transformation" that happens at puberty. But then, hypocrisy *is* these peoples' stock in trade.
To be fair, it’s going to permanently effect one of the two lives regardless
@@thatguythere6161 but one life is a person living on their own and the other is a bunch of cells growing INSIDE that person.
@@Julie-ns8vm Up to a point. I don’t have a problem with abortions within the few months of pregnancy, but the longer someone waits after that, the worse it gets.
I just hate when people act like a fetus isn’t a life at all when debating abortion.
@@thatguythere6161 you realise that at the end of the first month of pregnancy, the embryo is only 2 weeks old? Pregnancy is dated from the first day of the last period before conception. Most people find out they’re pregnant at weeks 4-7. Allowing abortions from “week 1” through to week 4 isn’t really a helpful solution at all.
"If you graduated high school over a decade ago you probably didn't know anyone who was transgender." Excuse me? I graduated in 2006 and we had an LGBT Alliance club in our school. Our principal was openly lesbian, we had lots of genderfluid and nonbinary presenting students. We had lots of bisexual and gay/lesbian dating going on. Some of my friends have transitioned. The woman my best friend was dating when I met the two of them in university transitioned after we met her. Even before all of that, though, one of my father's cousins transitioned before I was even born.
My older sisters graduated in 04 and 06, their high school had a lgbt alliance club as well, with a lot of members. So Idk why this lady is acting like trans people were super rare back then.
I lived out in the sticks and I remember the fuss when someone had apparently written to the school paper feeling some non-straight feelings. A bunch of people even asked me if I'd done it because I was a social recluse that no one could get a read on.
cool
I'm only a bit younger but I had an openly nonbinary teacher (though they didn't use that term at the time) who had a kid with their trans man partner. Plus I knew a person who was AFAB but dressed super masculine and liked to be called a boy. Just because I didn't know the language at the time doesn't mean those people weren't there
The thing about detransitioners is I think they’d actually be helped a lot more if we did have better access to transition related healthcare. I very happy with the steps I’ve taken as far as medically transitioning, but I had a lot of doubts and anxieties when starting HRT that I would have liked to talk about, but felt I’d be denied care if I expressed any of that. I can imagine a lot of people felt that, and if they were able to better discuss and analyze those feelings, they could make better decisions on what to do, and not pressure themselves into taking steps they aren’t ready for.
A lot of the most virulent 'detransitioners' admitted they gamed the system of decades ago precisely because trans people had to fit a sexist formula then. Even to try to escape the stigma of being gay. Only to find out that gay people generally want the anatomy trans people don't in themselves.
Believing you won't get care is an internal problem .. not a problem with the medical care available...
@@kimmmimemwest1895 no, trans folks regularly get denied care for arbitrary reasons, so it’s a symptom of a flawed medical system. I had “good” healthcare and still had to fight to get access to preventative care and the possibility of my insurance treating it as a legitimate healthcare need even if they ultimately didn’t cover it.
@@BarryBoggs-qp5lj so you couldn't get preventative care for what exactly ?? I'm confused ..that seems like it's not trans exclusive .. if I can't get preventative cancer treatment that's not a trans issue ...
@@kimmmimemwest1895 I mean I’m not going to discuss my medical history is a UA-cam comment if that’s what your asking, but the insurance I had and doctor I was trying to see claimed me transitioning caused the issue so they didn’t need to treat or cover it, despite no evidence that they were connected at all. So yeah it is a trans issue, and one that a lot of people have had.
What conservative said:"Think about the children"
Translation: We should control the children and make them like we wanted them to be.
I feel bad for the professionnels who actual care about the well being of kids. They are being ignored or treated like monster by most right-winger for listenning to children and help them to feel better.
I mean, Cass Eris (mentioned in the video for her series analyzing Shrier's book) explicitly goes over how Shrier's own interviews relay that the PARENTS of AFAB trans-masc kids and teens...
One took their child to several therapists. SEVERAL THERAPISTS OVER MULTIPLE YEARS. Every single therapist said the same thing: "We think your kid might actually be trans."
The parent then goes on to state that the kid CANNOT be trans, and talks with Shrier about how "evil media" has "brainwashed" her "innocent daughter".
Non affirming care can get you fired ..
@@kimmmimemwest1895 Literally the job of the psychologist/therapist making the decision is to determine whether the person they are analyzing is or is not in fact trans.
This is before any other steps have been taken by any other medical professionals, and is the single-most legally-posited gate to what constitutes "affirming"/"non-affirming" care from subsequent professionals.
Like, if she could get one therapist to state "Your kid's faking; they aren't trans" then that's a metaphorical hall-pass she can wave around to deny non-affirming care. But, weirdly, NONE OF THE PROFESSIONALS WHO KNOW HOW TO ANALYZE PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS agreed with the mother's assessment of the kid "faking" being trans. Maybe the medical professionals who literally spent at least a decade of education and usually at least as long actually practicing in the field...know more about what they're saying than a parent who doesn't even pay attention to their own child.
@@onijester56 how can you fake being trans ??? If you say you are a girl that means you are a girl ... How can you fake it ???
@@onijester56 Shrinks care about their paychecks. They prefer taking the path of least resistance and do their best to avoid helping cause then they actually have to do their job and that's when people realize they aren't really qualified. It's why I've never seen one.
Detransitioning doesn't mean you are not transgender. It's so weird these people talk about transition as a pure binary, but that's their foundational belief.
Plus it's worth mentioning that most detransitioners only did so because existing as a trans person is a little...terrifying and you're lucky if you have just one family member disown you.
The #1 reason cited for detransitioning is workplace discimination. It says nothing about the accuracy of the diagnosis.
@@emzetkin1100 Source? Because its not like its pushed on children and teens that they need to transition.
@@emzetkin1100 Or for medical reasons.
The "trans" part apparently means nothing, words used to have meaning.
"I'm Abigail Shrier, author of irreversible damage." Oh, she admits it! ...Oh, that's not how she meant it?
"Anyone I can't control is scary, bad and unhealthy"
All of PragerU's opinions in a nutshell
People have so little faith in young people, especially people they see as girls.
I’m a cis woman, when I was a kid, for a long time I low-key wished I was a boy. When I was about 14, I got to do a school project in sex-ed class, and we chose trans people as the subject. So this was the first time I learned about gender identities in a broader sense then “lol men dressing as women”. And guess what? Me learning that becoming a boy was an option, I discovered that I did not in fact want to be a boy!
It took me a while to figure out, but what I actually wanted was the freedom and respect I saw the boys around me enjoy. So learning about trans people made me identify stronger with my own gender and eventually get more involved in feminist and queer causes. Of course this is all personal experience, but I’m just saying, learning about other gender identities didn’t convert me, as an already uncomfortable in my skin girl, into a boy, so just give teens a bit more credit!
On the point of a lack of literature and general awareness of trans men versus trans women, I'd say it's just another way misogyny manifests in society. As much as I dislike Arielle Scarcella, she made a video a while back where she blundered past an actually interesting point. I can't remember her exact words, but she was basically railing against non-binary people (shocker) when she stated that all AMAB enbies seem to do is put makeup on to express their non-binary identity (I think she used Sam Smith as an example), whereas AFAB enbies bind, get top surgery, otherwise change and remove parts of their bodies to express theirs. Now, aside from the fact that this is far from true in all cases and non-binary people have an incredible diversity of gender expression regardless of their AGAB, there's a point there about the visibility of AMAB versus AFAB trans people.
Because of the devaluation of women and femininity in our society, femininity in men is far more visible than masculinity in women, and far less accepted. Arielle is actually right in implying that all an AMAB person would have to do is put on makeup for people to question and scrutinise how much of a "real man" they are, simply because of the misogynistic belief that femininity is lesser than masculinity. For AFABs, to be seen as anything other than a woman is much harder, because masculinity in women is more normalised and even praised. I'm a trans man and pretty binary in my gender expression - I have short hair, wear exclusively and explicitly masculine clothing, generally carry myself with masculine-coded body language, and even have some s*x characteristics that are much more masculine than feminine. But I'm also pre-T, and even in spite of my gender expression, even though there is literally nothing more I can do to communicate to the world that I am not a woman, unless I am explicit that I am a trans man, I am always read as female. That I might be trans isn't considered; my transness is invisible.
My point being that trans men are much less visible in society. If you don't pass, you're read as a woman. If you do pass, which a lot of trans men on T do, you're read as a cis man. Trans women unfortunately stand out more than trans men, and I think because trans women are seen as committing a bigger "sin" by not just expressing feminity, but actually being women, they are more of a spectacle to the public eye. There is more of an interest, even if that interest is coming from a place of discomfort or even revulsion. So the lack of interest in trans men as a group, plus the fact we were so invisible until very recently (which in turn meant less of us coming out), means you have less academic research, less resources and less general awareness of trans men than trans women. Not because there are magically more of us now than there were twenty years ago.
Sorry for the rant lol, it just annoys me when I see transphobes using the erasure of trans men from history and medical research as proof that we are some new, fashionable thing. Tell that to Billy Tipton or Lou Sullivan. We've always been here, even if the world couldn't see us.
Anyway, thanks for the video as always Jessie. Your empathy and ability to articulate complicated and difficult topics is honestly an inspiration to me. Also on a side note, that Star Trek mug is dope.
Honestly I find this idea that AFAB people are "praised" for being masculine frustrating and dismissive. What universe do you live in where a masculine AFAB person is anything but used as the butt of a joke or treated like garbage? There is an EXTREMELY tiny bit of BARELY "acceptable" masculinity that AFAB folks are allowed access to in this patriarchal society, but the moment they step beyond that little bit of "accepted" masculinity they're treated like shit. Studies seem to back this up as well, there's a South African study showing that masculine lesbians were victimized at higher rates than femme lesbians. (See: "Paradoxes of Butchness: Lesbian Masculinities and Sexual Violence in Contemporary South Africa")
Even here in the USA, butch lesbians are always used as the butt of a joke, called gross and disgusting, used for shock value humor, etc. Multiple studies also show that AFAB trans people experience higher levels of non-fatal violence than AMAB trans people.
It's not that masculinity in AFAB people is more normalized or "praised"-- it's that cis manhood is treated as an exclusive club that AFAB people could never be granted true access to, because of misogyny. A trans man could never be a """"real"""" man in the eyes of the patriarchy. He will always be a lesser, inferior copy because he's not a cis man. I feel like takes like this vague idea that masculine women are "praised" for their masculinity (and there's really never any examples given of how this nebulous "praise" manifests, because in reality they don't get praised, there's some very limted, s3xually motivated """praise""" lumped on conventionally attractive heterosexual woman who participate in a limited selection of traditionally masculine activities, but beyond that any AFAB person who participates in masculinity in defiance of the cishet male gaze is seen as the enemy) implicitly imply that misogyny is reserved solely for femme people, and it erases the misogyny that trans men face both pre-transition *and* often post-transition where heavy misogyny is often directed at AFAB bodies and especially genitals.
I feel like we can discuss the invisibility vs hypervisbility issue that affects the trans community without downplaying or masking the violence and transphobia that affects AFAB individiuals. I see far too many people who think that "invisibility means that AFAB trans people don't really experience transphobia or violence, that AFAB trans people don't "need" resources and activism/help, and that narrative really needs to change.
I agree with every point. Trans guy here 9 months on T, 2 months post top surgery. Even at the tipping point of passing, I'm only ever seen as a butch lesbian or a cis man. I am virtually NEVER seen as a trans man. The only exception is in the swimming pool. There the mix of sex characteristics shows a lot more and then I get stares and clocked as trans. Honestly, I kind of enjoy it because I don't feel invisible or like I'm hiding anything. Out in the wild (not swimming) I often wear a He/Him/His T shirt and drop the fact that I'm trans all over the place because I do want to be seen. I'd rather deal with the looks and occasional awkwardness than feel completely invisible.
I agree. I also think one important reason for the disproportional attention is because most things in society are seen and discussed through the eyes of cishet men. Trans men don't represent neither as much threat nor interest to them; if we're presenting or functioning as a woman "enough", we can just be ignored; if we aren't, we are considerably less sexually and reproductively desired by straight men and therefore can be ignored as well. Trans women, on the other hand, are both more disruptive to straight manhood and more sexually interesting. On the one hand, transfem people are on it's own an existential crisis to patriarchy: when a system presents traditional manhood as superior and masculinity as virtuous, someone discarding that away is undermining the whole social order. For the same reason there's also more scrutiny on gay and gnc men: they are seen as traitors to the system. On the other hand, straight men can also be attracted to trans women, opening a debate which attraction or actions "count" as gay. And when a trans woman isn't straight, she is also perceived as risk or competition to the other group these men are interested in - cis women.
I've been thinking about that ever since I noticed something interesting in my own life. Long story short, I wasn't fully out as a guy at school but obvious enough for most of my classmates to infer that; I was also kind of seen as a queer expert, so I was asked about or forced to debate about trans people a few times by straight teen boys. What's interesting is that despite me being a guy, they only ever wanted to talk about trans women. For example, for some reason they decided to confess to me they watched porn with trans girls and really wanted to know more about the effects of mtf transition on sex; another time, they rated trans models based on attractiveness; on other occasion, they demanded I debate them on the access of trans women into women's toilets and prisons. There were many other, though smaller, instances. The only times they showed any interest in trans men was
1) about testosterone affecting penis growth
2) when we've already finished school and were drinking together. We got flirty with one dude and someone had a brief debate with him on whether that made him gay or not with arguments mainly contingent on how far I was into medical transition.
Honestly, it just strengthened with my view that trans people are just really often seen through the wants and insecurities of cishet men.
As for the research, Blanchard definitely comes to mind: he just bluntly states in one paper that he doesn't study trans men because they don't interest him. And as a whole, his terminology dividing trans women into "young-beautiful-exlusively available to men" and "older-less attractive-not only interested in men" which is a misogynistic tale is old as the world. Bailey, his disciple and the one who brought the dichotomy fame, goes as far as to state this directly, blatantly objectifying trans women in his book. Hell, Shrier herself doesn't really go after all afab trans people either: she specifically picks femininity and relationships with men as evidence that her subjects aren't trans. It seems to me that she's only worried about teens who were expect to grow up as "proper" women, feminine and straight (she discounts bi girls, by the way, because she thinks that it's just a phase to "become ready" for men. Yes, really.) which is somewhat curious to me, since that is really the only group cishet men could be bothered about. Queer or gnc girls are less expected to grow up compliant with traditional gender roles, so it's only when a gender-conforming and atracted to men afab teenager turns out not to be a woman that they are seen a "loss" or being "converted"
@@noneedtoknow3467 I think the reason butch lesbians are so disparaged by bigots is simply because they're lesbians and, as OP stated, they tend to stand out more, so they became a spectacle for the public to mock. What OP meant by women being masculine being more acceptable is that, for example, there's less of a fuss when women wear men's clothing (like jeans and coats) than when men wear women's clothing
Gonna have to disagree with you on masculinity being normalized in women or even praised. If that were true I, someone in a male dominated profession (although that is changing), would not get constantly penalized for things that earn my male colleagues praise. When they do it, they're zealous, and assertive, and confident. When I do it, I'm "bossy," and "overbearing," and "shrill."
I really appreciate your position of empathy, being a former “Terf” myself it was empathy towards trans people that led me on the path towards setting my mind right.
I just started thinking “why are people so upset about my opinions, i didn’t realize I was hurting people so badly, maybe I need to listen to them”
If I had been left to explore that question while being presented with more absolutist views I might’ve looked the other way.
Some people really do hate, and some people hate for what they think are good reasons but often based on a lack of information.
Just don’t forget people can change their minds!!
I know it's an old comment but just wanted to say thank you. Means a lot to know not everyone is so rigidly set in their worldview, as tragic as it is that people I'd otherwise have gotten along with choose to spout hate. Gives me some hope
I suddenly have a desire to start a youtube channel and make parodies of every PragerU video with actual facts and context (should I call it PoggersU?)... Just gimme a month or so to learn motion graphics with skillshare.
PoggersU 😂
I would watch the shit out of that lol
Lol I would pay to see that
Yes please
PoggerU is my Alma Matar, though my friend graduated from LigmaU
The idea to cut off social media is actually incredible harmful! Less social media might be good advice in general, but its very obvious from their wording that they meant 'deliberately cut your child off from what is likely their only form of social support and connection' which is a blatant abusive tactic.
This is a prime example of the intersectionality of trans and feminist issues. The sexism couched in their anti-AFAB rhetoric is so disturbing when you realize not only what the immediate outcomes are (denying the validity and needs of the AFAB experience, as well as the trans community at large), but also the implications of what's to come further into the future. The "irreversible consequences" the PragerU video implies is mostly related to reproductive health and outward presentation of feminine characteristics, both of which even cis-women have problems being taken seriously with when requesting medical and cosmetic procedures. The anti-AFAB push of the video is another way to increase control over all persons who are assigned female at birth, regardless of whether they are cis-women, trans-men, non-binary, etc. Protecting women's rights protects trans rights and vice versa, and it is saddening to see that people cannot see the duality of this fact. Not only is PragerU a dangerous gateway into transphobia, but in turn using that to open a gateway to other forms of hate.
You can probably throw in class issues into that intersection too. Blowing trans-related talking points out of proportion and scaremongering about the threat of "trans propaganda" is a convenient smoke screen for politicians and the privately owned media to distract from the various issues caused by capitalism and therefore protect private interest.
So, in a roundabout way, trans-issues and feminist-issues are also working class issues.
Yeah! I’m glad someone is talking about this, I feel like people just ignore it because they’re scared to misgender trans men or something? But when bigots see you as a woman, they will treat you the same way they treat women, even if it’s negative. I think people also assume that saying that trans men face sexism is also saying that trans women don’t, but that’s also very not true. Even though bigots treat trans AFABs the same negative way they treat women, they also end up treating trans AMABs that way. It’s so stupid and makes no logical sense, but hate doesn’t make logical sense. It’s just anyone who triggers their anti-woman bias, which ends up being anyone who has any form of relationship to having ever been/thought they were/identified as a woman, currently or in the past.
I said when the Republicans started attacking Trans people woman, and other vulnerable minorities would be next. Because that is how fascists operate. Divide and conquer.
@Alyssa C Dude, fork off with that nonsense.
@Alyssa C "no prominent MAP rights movement" found the agitator
Watched it on Patreon first but commenting this time just to thank you for dealing with these tough topics at your mental and emotional exhaustion, I'm sure. The Jessie we need but not deserve 💜
Respect Big Man, love your content and how it taught me more about Caribbean History
@@tintintin7753 bless up, fam ✊🏿 i truly appreciate that dred
Always a treat to see two of my favorite essayists gas each other up!!
Ahhh thank you so much you amazing human ❤️
Your name needs a checkmark! Your content is awesome! We'll get you there one day, I'm sure of it. Keep up the good work~
I did graduate high school over a decade ago, we had three trans students just in the four years I was there (a trans guy, trans girl, and non-binary person) All in my small Midwestern town when social media was still in it's infancy. Trans people have always existed.
Ah, but does a gender non-conforming person truly exist if they are not being observed by a cis person? 😉
@@Rampala Schrodinger's trans?
The social media argument is also a false cause fallacy. Kids who are already feeling isolated, anxious, and depressed are way more likely to spend more time online, because it's an easy way to meet like-minded people without the time and geographical restrictions. Online research is also a good way to gain access to information that wouldn't normally be available, because the topics pertaining to kids who are trans or questioning typically are not taught in schools.
Trans people have not always existed... Because gender has not always existed...
@@FrozEnbyWolf150 I have seen several trans people say they was influenced by socal media
Oh, fun fact! The statue of David is made out of spite. David is composed of really poor grade marble. He was given it by his commissioner by someone who didn’t really respect him. Out of spite, Michelangelo decided to make this his masterpiece to show up his sponsor
you cannot win with those people.
coming out early = "teens don't know anything"
coming out late = "if you were trans you'd show it earlier"
fr
Frrrrrr i got these both wheb i came out "your to young your moving to fast" and "you should've known sooner if you were really trans"
And it's with like absolutely everything. If we dress more in line with what "stereotypical" of our gender people will say we're putting on a costume. If we don't we're told we're not even trying and just doing it for attention.
If we're straight after coming out then we're told we're "victims of gay conversation therapy" and that we're lesbians or gay men. If we're gay/lesbian after coming out we're told we're "invading gay spaces"
As the cis female parent of two afab children the Prager U video you just critiqued pissed me off. My children have not given me any indication that they could be trans. However that video is not only harmful to trans kids. It actively suggests that children especially afab children are not to be listened to. That video also actively promotes keeping children in ignorance about issues that affect them. As someone who believes that keeping children ignorant about anything to do with sex should be considered a form of child abuse this video from Prager U is abhorrent. I consider it harmful to all children.
cw for abuse
.
.
I had my phone taken away from me as a teen, usually at night but not always. I wasn't on social media at the time (this was over a decade ago), but it still cut me off from talking to friends and family. I was isolated from them in an abusive home, with no relief, no-one to talk to about what I was going through. I didn't understand I was trans at the time, but I can only imagine, based on my own experiences, coming out and then being punished with isolation, which is so painful. Shrier is an awful human being.
It's like that viral post of the angry mother who gets gently talked down to doing research on binders and bring more supportive of her trans child.
We aren't compassionate to these transphobes because they deserve it, we're compassionate to them because it might make the lives of the trans people in their lives better
I lost a lot of my social circle due to groups spreading anti trans narratives. I just can't deal with it anymore. I look forward to sitting down with my own comfort tea and watching this later this evening.
@@JessieGender1 thank you. You are very appreciated for everything that you do.
I'm genderfluid, bisexual, autistic (edit: more like, I might be autistic. I have been told by the same amount of therapists that I have it and don't) and have ADHD. My parents are actively homophobic and transphobic, and they're scared of even thinking about the possibility I might have ASD. They view being trans and gay/bi as the same thing with the same root cause, which is (in their opinion) an error in the upbringing of a child. They have accepted I have ADHD only because I convinced them to take me to therapy and I was diagnosed (my therapist has a lot of implicit bias about ASD, so I'm not holding my breath for that one). Let me put it this way. I wear glasses, because I have myopia and astigmatism. Today I went to get my prescription glasses changed, and told my mother my prescription went up. Her reaction was "Oh, no, that's so sad! It's really too bad that you have gone up!" But basically it sounded like it was a diagnosis similar to cancer, or renal failure, or something. That is their attitude towards trans people, gay people, and an ASD diagnosis. It seems like the world is collapsing with those news. Which is why I'm closeted and why I really resent people like the creators of pragerU that spread so much misinformation.
Conservatives despise what they view as weakness
Sounds rough.
I hope your situation will get better
If you're not diagnosed with ASD then don't go around saying you have it..
@@notfunny1410 (Edit: I re-read my comment and I will correct it. Thank you.) I specified I "MIGHT" have ASD. And I also clarify that it's not uncommon for people with ASD to be undiagnosed because of all the implicit bias that exists. I have been told by the same amount of therapists that I have ASD as I have been told I don't. I would prefer you didn't just assume I go around telling people I have ASD, and that you research the subject and the reason why so many people with ASD don't have an official diagnosis. And again, I repeat, I said I "might" have ASD.
@@sammjaisais7135 i have ASD and its okay to do some research and recognize symptoms but ive seen too many people who self diagnose or dont want to get a real diagnosis..
"testosterone is easily obtained by today's teens" had me spit out my drink. I'm 27 in california and I've been struggling to have access to T consistently for 4 years. to this day the folk who raised me that I have 0 contact with keep sending me prageru content trying to invalidate my identity. thank you for making this video, it felt like a breath of relief to hear someone point out all the things I've been saying that have fallen on willfully-closed ears. Thank you.
One thing that Absolutely disgusts me is how UA-cam is still platforming their advertisements. I'll be letting videos play for white noise as I do stuff, all of a sudden I get those misinformation-based PragerU ads. It's so annoying and distracting.
Usually if you hit the tiny little i button (at least on mobile) you can get them to stop playing those ads. It takes a while tho
I've always wondered if trans men were not as studied/noticed partly because for the past few decades, in the western world, it's perfectly fine for a girl/woman to only wear trousers and t-shirts, have short haircuts, not wear makeup or high heels, and have male versions of their longer female names (Samantha - Sam, Joanne - Jo, etc), so a trans man would be labelled as 'just being a tomboy'.
I am a cis straight woman, when I was in my late teens, my mom had a tradesman around and was showing him the house, he walked into my room, looked around, then asked my mom, "so how old's your son?" because my room was plastered in heavy metal CDs, fantasy books, D&D books, dragons and skulls and goth ornaments, etc. He was a bit taken aback when she told it was her daughter's room, but he just laughed it off as his mistake.
But because it's never really been acceptable for a man/boy to wearing anything 'girlie' that isn't a kilt, then trans women stick out more. It's 'weirder for a guy to want to wear a dress and make up and heels and be feminine'. And while it's becoming incrementally acceptable for men to wear make up and heels (so long as they're, like, wedges and not stilettos. Manly heels) -
[Side note, as I'm writing this, your video was interrupted by an ad featuring Sir Patrick Stewart!!! 😂😂 The algorithm knows you too well, Jessie!]
- it's still 'weird' if they wear dresses/skirts/blouses, etc. If they paint their nails any colour other than black, they're 'weird'. Long hair is fine, but don't style it beyond a pony tail or basic braid, and so on and etc.
Just a thought. Always love your work Jessie!! Loving the Trek earring, Trek mug and Trek... tea ball? Book mark? Either way, lot of Trek. When are you getting a Trek tattoo?! ❤️🤘
Lol Prince, boy George , David Bowie etc ...
Its been accepted for decades
I can definitely relate to this. I was a pretty stereotypical "tomboy" growing up but it was largely never questioned (there were a few who tried to force femininity on me, but most just kind of let me get on with it). But I think because it was so normalised, it took me a really long time to figure out I was trans. I mean, looking back it's painfully obvious lol, but I legitimately had no idea that trans men existed. I had a very limited understanding of trans women as a kid (though it was the "super effeminate man in dress" level of understanding that makes me cringe to think about now), and I remember trying to research online if there were any "women who became men" when I was about ten years old, and aside from an AFAB non-binary person who didn't represent my personal experience at all, there was nothing. I kind of just accepted that I was just a tomboy and as much as I didn't want to be a girl, I just had to suck it up and deal with it. I'm in a better place about it now, but man, the erasure is real.
I came here to say that too, with it being socially acceptable to be a tom boy I can easily see people AFAB not realising they are trans until puberty hits and they don't like the changes. I am cis but when puberty hit I went through a stage of I wish I was a boy, mine turned out to be that I just hated getting periods. I am extremely grateful that I have small breasts though as my preferred look is a more androgynous one (I do have small phases of dressing 'girly' though) and wouldn't be at all concerned if I didn't have my breasts anymore.
You don’t need to use the horns emoji there’s actually a live long and prosper emoji 🖖
You make excellent points. My sister thinks the reason why trans men might find it easier to blend into society is because of misogyny. For a woman to want to be a man or masculine , it's seen as a good thing, aspirational even. But if a man wants to be a woman or more feminine, it's seen as him degrading himself or becoming somehow less than.
It's honestly scary how easy it seems to be to prime ignorant people against trans people. I guess I'll need to postpone this one to some time after the premiere, watch it when I'm in a better place.
It's unfortunately pretty easy to prime people in general to be against anyone (or anything) that they don't understand. I try to be vigilant for those tendencies in myself for the exact reason that I know I'm not immune.
When Shrier started giving advice on how to harm your transgender child, my psychic abilities told me that she wasn't going to say "sit down and talk to them"
It's always interesting seeing the different assumptions made for "why are there so many more ____ these days?" Like, for ADHD, the assumption is overdiagnosis. For autism, the assumption is "there's something causing it *enter conspiracy mode*" and for these people and trans kids, it's "someone is brainwashing the kids! *enter conspiracy mode*" or "no, the children must be wrong." When really, the likely answer is the same for all of them: we are more open and aware about different things and see things represented more and can be like "hey, that's me." Or, in the case of cognitive disorders or mental disorders, there's less stigma around the diagnosis and their existence and we're now better at diagnosing them.
@ferret I'm mostly going off of my experience with ADHD, which is very much a cognitive disorder or at least currently viewed as such. I think I've read a different designation about autism, so I apologize for lumping it into the category. They are both definitely disabilities!
I've never understood the weird place that transmen are in 'the discourse'. Most transphobic material completely ignores them. Then there's this crap, that just handwaves that transwomen exist, and use that for attempting to delegitimize transmen as not fitting that same mold.
I was in high school when Matthew Shepard (possibly misspelled that, sorry) was murdered because he was gay. I fully admit I didn't know if any of my classmates were trans, but I'm willing to bet that any that knew they were decided to keep it to themselves because of that.
Well, back then, most LGBT people already weren't out in high school for rather more local reasons. Transitioning would be a very rare thing and probably involve switching schools.
I'm all for getting revenge on homophobes and transphobes. They need to be treated as badly as they treated us LGBTQ+ people. Our rights, our pie, not theirs. Educating bigots doesn't work. Revenge is faster and more efficient.
I was in high school at the time as well, and I distinctly remember the corporate media environment surrounding that story. Time Magazine actually printed a letter about Matthew Shepard, written by a virulently homophobic pastor who spouted off about hellfire and sin. In other words, they saw that letter, and thought, oh yeah, that's a perfectly acceptable take to share with our readers. 🤦♀
@@FrozEnbyWolf150 Yeah, a lot of kids don't realize how bad things were when we pointed out all along who these people been trying to drag us back to.
@@DarDarBinks1986 The best revenge is living well, that's why the RIght scrambles so hard to make sure we don't.
as a generally trans masculine NB, who likes presenting in child like ways (such as pastels and rainbows, fluffy things, oversized clothes, toys) i get infantilised rather often, and it genuinely hurts, as I always feel like others just think im stupid? and its often used to dismiss my opinions on anything, even unrelated to being trans, and its really harmful in my opinion...
I think you rock and have a big, fluffy, powerful brain.
I think people are just using behavioral bias to slight you when you're rational.
Has the same energy as, "you make a good point, but... you're in a wheelchair"
@@nukiradio yeahhh i think so too, can't help disliking it though, obviously
I truly can't be the only one thinking about the white coat donned by Shrier and thinking: "She's.. not a doctor. She's not a researcher. She's an author with an opinion.", can I?
It should be noted that parents not finding signs of gender dysphoria until they become obvious has a much simpler answer. The vast majority of people whose gender is assigned at birth usually match it for the most part. Transgender folks are a very small majority of all people. This leads to parents not finding signs of early onset of gender dysphoria simply because they aren't looking for it. If you're not looking for signs of something, you're unlikely to find it and will explain the signs you do see to something else.
Also the signs are explained away "your just a tomboy" "why cant you just be a masculine girl" its equally transphobia and misogyny, they dont think afab trans ppl can think for themselves.
"It's that part of every youtubers career where they must make a video about PragerU" almost made me spit out the tea I just grabbed.
Honestly one of my favorite part of every lefttuber's career -- I'm depressed that they exist, but live for the dunking.
For the algorithm 💚 also, the reason why afab individuals may typically go unnoticed in childhood could be due to the biased acceptance of our society today. It’s much easier for a girl to be a “tomboy” or be interested in masculine things than it is for a boy to be into the reverse. Therefore it may stick out in parents minds more when their son is into dolls than when their daughter is into roughhousing.
This. As a kid I was taught that girls could be anything, so even when I would proudly proclaim that I did or had x "like a boy/like boys do" it was treated as "yeah. girls can do anything sweetie!" Which led to me being really confused for awhile
This and also I know when I expressed discomfort with things about my body in adolescence (mostly my chest), it would get written off as ‘body image issues’ or ‘you’ll grow into it’ rather than actually heard for what I was saying. AFAB people have unrealistic body standards thrown at them from childhood and it can be hard to parse that out from gender identity things both as a kid and as someone listening to said kid.
It seems that it's more of a problem that people think there are such things as masculine and feminine qualities...not that boys play with dolls ...
@@kaepeterman4394 Why would you believe being uncomfortable with you chest means you shouldn't be female or a girl ?
@@kimmmimemwest1895 Because I wanted a flat chest instead of breast and in context of other things/wanting other masculine feature, for me it was a gender thing.
And to respond to your other comment: As a non-binary person, yeah things shouldn’t immediately be assigned gendered qualities. It would solve a lot of problems, including transphobia and people not recognizing when AFAB people are trans. However, giving kids and adults more accurate information and language to talk about certain experiences if their kid is trans is also really important and would save a lot of people some heartache.
37:15 parents being patronizing and not respecting their children thinking “I’m the adult, therefore I’m right” are utterly suspect to me.
Ah fuck, you made me cry at minute 26. It reminds me on my own experience coming out as gay to my mother.
Eu Quetzal! 👋🏻
“Ignorance isn’t always coming from malice” Yes Jessie! 👏 Such a good point. You are the reason I’m understanding trans issues more. I love that you present your videos in a way where you take into account that you might be speaking to people (like myself) who don’t know very much about trans issues. You’re so good at that. It’s the reason I’m becoming more and more educated on the subject. I don’t know anyone trans in my personal life and your videos have helped me so much. Keep up the great work!
I was supposed to claim to be trans at 2-4? Jeez, I was like 25 before I started saying that. It must be some pseudoscience nonsense and not that my dad was a raging homophobe and I hid every scrap of anything feminine until well into adulthood... Ugh, transphobes are just so tiring. Thanks for being a positive voice Jessie
It's a catch-22 for trans people. Show signs when we're kids and we're "too young to know", and if we found out when we're older, we "can't be trans because we never show signs in childhood". Absolutely fuckin transphobic.
Adding to the bit about the parents feelings that being trans is scary or just signing up for a hard life, yeah its hard, but the parents can actually help a lot with that. Just being there and believing your kid will help with that. The costly medical care, the bullying, the high suicide rate generally go down by a lot if just the parents accept the kid.
This has also happened to me. Not long after I came out as a trans man, my parents both blamed my largely qu33r (not really trans just generally que33r) friends were forcing me into it, even citing ROGD by name. This has irreparably hurt my relationship with my parents more than anything, nothing erases that. That is a deep scar and one that many trans men will have if their parents buy into this. I have compassion for all the trans men and enby folks that have suffered in this way, and I deeply wish the parents wake up and love their kids.
Great comment, and sadly, even trans girls get this used against them by their parents :/
Damn, the points about afab people not being believed on facts about their own bodies and identities is so true it stings. And the rhetoric of trans women being the "real" trans folks is something that can be wielded even in our own community. It makes my heart happy to hear such a compelling breakdown of an argument against anti-ftm talking points in a way that doesn't further the divide between the afab and amab parts of our community. :'> We're all in this together! Appreciate you!
Exactly.
It's genuinely painful to even hear our community continuing to fight amongst each other over who is trans and who isn't, with a lot of hatred towards gender expressions from TERF and radfem rhetoric that continues to not be critically examined within our community...
I'm all for trans unity against outside bigotry continuing to divide us!
Some FtM is going to go "TERF" and accuse MtFs of having "maab privilege"
Thank you for talking about this. I feel like transphobia against trans men and transmasc people is a lot more insidious (when compared to the overt violence and ugliness of transmisogyny, that is) and often gets overlooked. That infantilizing dismissal of our identities and experiences that absolutely goes back to the misogyny of the medical system and its tendency to overlook anyone AFAB/socialized as a girl.
The transmasc community is suffering so much for good representation (Elliot Page coming out was a huge deal, bless them.) In a way, that's been something of a privilege, because by having less visibility, we dealt with less hate. But the flipside is that so many of us suffered quietly for so long. And now with Shrier's fixation on transmasculine identities, new roadblocks and ignorance have definitely come up against transmasculine people, and young trans people in general. I can't imagine being such a hateful person that you target literal children and contribute directly to their pain, but Shrier's motives aside, I do think the vast majority of the people persuaded by her rhetoric are just scared, not hateful.
I see that bias against trans men even in progressive spaces. I used to follow a bunch of leftist skit channels and at one point during pride month they did skits like “trans *people* answer questions” or “things trans *people* are tired of hearing”, but said videos never included trans men nor non-binary people, only trans women .-.
I absolutely love seeing transfem people being taken seriously and occupying spaces. I would like to see the same happening to my fellow transmasc people. Even the people who are supposed to be supporting us don’t seem to really care about us.
I deeply feel you a lot on this!
It's not only disheartening to see bias and hatred against trans men and transmasc persons, but it's also infuriating because people in online spaces (who are supposed to support us) end up gobbling down TERF and radfem rhetoric, plus the "femininity = superiority" rhetoric that no one wants to admit is harmful (because no gender expression is superior or inferior to another) to online and offline trans communities.
Not only that, but those who are supposed to support us end up uncritically believing a lot of TERF/GC and radfem bullshit, especially against trans guys and transmascs... even to make them feel like shit about being themselves.
I don’t think Prager U knows how old people who graduated high school a decade ago are. I’m 28, I graduated in 2010. Several of my friends and peers from high school have since transitioned.
Nor does she get that trans people who weren't out in high school, are coming out in their 20s-60s. Often with a lifetime of living in less fulfilled than had they come out earlier.
@@515aleon well if people could determine they were trans without being an impressionable teen then that kinda tears apart her argument. She can’t admit that it isn’t a new “fad”
I always have to sardonically laugh at the argument of "social media is trans-ing the kids" when in reality nearly every trans person that talks on social media about being trans will talk about the societal implications of the choice to transition. None of the trans creators I follow say that it's easy. They all tend to say that their problems didn't go away, if anything they have more problems now, but that they are categorically happier to be authentic to themselves. There are next to no illusions from trans creators that if you are trans you will face social hardship and bigotry.
37:16 "Being the adult in the relationship is the most loving thing you can do"
How the heck is this good advice. She is telling parents to invalidate their children's gender identity because ~adults~ just have better grasp on a teen's inner identity than themselves.
Denial isn't 'being the adult.'
I know with my TERF family member, simply getting her to stop talking about toilets constantly was a relief. It was basicly the topical go to for her for nearly a year. My parents were worried she had joined a cult.
I graduated high school in 2000. We had a number of LGBTQ folks running around but most were in the closet. One of my friends got kicked out by his father when he found out he was gay. I never even got to say goodbye... Fred wherever you are I hope you're living a beautiful, happy life!
I only experience gender dysphoria when it comes to reproduction. That's literally it. The idea of being pregnant makes me freak out. I would sooner stab myself in the gut than be pregnant. I'm also genderqueer and have always BEEN genderqueer. I just lacked the language to describe or understand my feelings. When I was a small child I would get angry when people presented me with pink things, dolls, asked me about having babies, and being a mommy. I hated playing 'house' with friends because they kept making it this June Cleaver-style gender performance and even then I hated it! It felt WRONG!
So yeah, if you'd asked 18 year old me if I was trans I would first be confused, as that term wasn't commonly used in my area (I'm in Arizona...) at that time. I would probably just say 'No I'm a tomboy or just a girl that doesn't like girly things.' but these days it's out in the open! That's fantastic! I'm so happy for young queer people!
I'm MTF and have a related problem: the moment I had the realization that I was actually a girl I was struck by an incredibly powerful impulse that I needed to be pregnant. Which is, unfortunately, not possible. Not that I'd want to be pregnant in the body I have now anyway. I hate my body.
Whenever I read ROGD, I can't stop reading it as rhyming with robbed, and then my mind says things like
"It was her officer, she's the one that rogd me!" Whenever I watch one of the trans youtubers that helped me understand that I'm trans too
every day I wake up happy knowing that my top surgery makes people like abigail shrier angry. Their anger makes my joy that much sweeter, knowing that they can't stop me from being myself.
I had to undergo surgery this year, (gallbladder removal) it's a common procedure and still I had to talk to about 4 different doctors before hand to discuss the risks involved and had to wait a few months before treatment itself. So Shrier claiming that people can just walk into a gender clinic and get handed prescriptions for much more serious and extensive treatment is so counter-factual that I can only assume she is knowingly lying.
I want to add onto the social media perspective as a kid who delved into it as a teen intentionally: social media can be used to see other viewpoints and expand your beliefs/build crucial social circles when your family is suffocating you. My mother is a staunch conservative in all the usual ways and social media helped redirect my thinking on civil rights issues and helped me create a space for myself away from her harmful beliefs. When conservatives say "monitor your kids" it's absolutely a method of control. They're trying to limit their exposure to ideas they don't agree with so they can set their kid down the Right Path. My mother laments my sisters and I going on social media and cites specifically our queerness and general left leaning politics because she wanted us to share her beliefs. It's not completely about safety: it's a method of early indoctrination through isolation. You can see that in the disdain of college, too. So to me, that "limit your child on social media" is one of those things that is good sounding but because of who it is it's not actual what we would assume.
"A quick fix" ah yes, because transitioning is so easy and accessible!
Oh how I love going to the gender clinic everyday after school to grab my daily dose of t to put in my cereal the next day before going to the doctors to get my surgeries :)
definitely not uncomfortable and expensive, nope!
I definitely agree (speaking of course as a non-trans person, so take that for whatever it's worth) that _most_ people don't actually have any ill will toward trans people. Many people are at least moderately supportive. A lot of others are just unsure of what to think (usually very uninformed about all of it), maybe even confused. They may think it's "weird" or be a bit uncomfortable with the questions it brings up for them. And I think the actually hateful people are pretty rare. Loud as all h*ll, sure, but rather rare.
Prager U is run by the latter (though they do try to not be entirely mask off about it) and so it's in their interest to get others to feel the same way, using manipulative language and misinformation, of course.
A very close friend of mine somewhat recently came out as trans and though we don't live too close to each other these days, when checking in on my buddy, he seems to be doing well. His mom has made some effort to be supportive, his dad is more stand-offish and wary. And his brother has gone full on transphobe, constantly mis-genders him and has cut off all contact. I wasn't surprised by any of that, I knew my friends' brother was a pretty terrible person and I've had my own conflicts with the brother. But it has clearly hurt my friend who looked up to his brother growing up because his brother had all the "manly traits" my friend wished to have had.
But in my friend's family, that's about 1 person in 10 that wound up being genuinely hateful. And again, not surprising given that the dude was already a blatant hard-r republican with very right-wing views... never found out if the guy was a full-fledged racist, because I never saw him outside of an all-white gathering, but he certainly had had some very negative things to say about a Hispanic co-worker just in passing conversation so it seemed likely.
I think that your observation is probably correct. My experience has been that most people don't seem to care much one way or the other, and are very accepting. I think that they just see me as another person who is a little bit unique.
It’s not an either/or situation, though. Sure, most people don’t actively hate transgender people, but a lot of those people still don’t actively support them. Furthermore, many don’t condemn the people who are malicious and hateful. It’s not 100% their fault, since we are all conditioned to believe it’s correct to always consider both sides of an issue. Only some of us break that programming or had the fortune of never getting programmed in the first place.
I don’t want to come off like a total doomer. We have made tremendous progress in a relatively short time. I just won’t give people credit before they prove they’ve earned it.
@@emilytrott I’m very happy to hear that.
@@JoshuaWillis89 Thank you! :-)
It's galling how open they are with the attitude that "it doesn't matter how utterly garbage the studies we've done are, they establish the absolute reality." Everything from the "AGM" doctrines to the "oh noes, ROGD!" hype...
It's easier to fling poop than to clean it up.
Young people are adults in training. Eventually, both parent and child will be "the adult in the relationship." It is frustrating, hurtful, and argh-inducing to see adults so openly dismiss the thoughts and opinions of the other humans they brought into the world. Watching people focus their training on creating fear, intolerance, and ignorance instead of independence, critical thinking, and compassion makes me tongue tied... you remain so eloquent and patient, Jessie💛 I agree that "fuck off" remains an eloquent option sometimes!
As an academic (historian), can confirm their content (ESPECIALLY but not limited to their history) is not only well below academic standards, but just bad, bigoted, and Fascist.
Also I’ve also been doxxed and in it got not just antisemitic hate, but a shit ton of NB/Transphobia. So I know what youve gone through. Sending love.
It's kind of wild seeing PragerU talking about how easy it is to transition and then in the same week hearing from a trans woman on Discord that they're on like a 5 year waiting list before they'll even be considered for surgeries.
It’s kind of funny that the only reason I know Prager U exists is other youtubers criticising them
Same, but I also know them from YTPs.
Oh, they're more than their UA-cam propaganda, they're a whole Fundie fake 'university' and hate-lobby.
I keep getting their ads.
Only knowing about Prager U because Jessie or other UA-camrs mention Prager U might be better than some.
@@gentlerat I got their ads like crazy until I got UA-cam red/premium. Still occasionally get PragerU ads in the community tab!🤮🤮🤮
The amount of people I've been around who assume all trans people as not-valid or all trans people need to go thru GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery) to actually change their gender disgusted tf out of me, it doesn't affect them at any point but they still need to express their transphobic ignorance, this has to change fr
Frankly, the people who demand to abuse trans people who haven't gotten surgery are also the ones doing everything they can to *prevent* trans people from getting that surgery. (Notably, if I believed TERFs about 'transwomen being rapists' I'd be all *for* them getting surgery without freaking delay. Interesting how those hate-propagndists take the opposite stance just like their Fundie masters want. )
@@OllamhDrab Its just like the "we hate late term abortions, so we'll make you wait to get an abortion"
I mean you felt the need to express your disgust .. what's the difference ??
@@OllamhDrab How can you stop someone from getting a surgery ???
@@kimmmimemwest1895 That's how I feel towards people who have no respect for things LGBTQ related, I don't want to feel disgusted but when people refuse to accept things are progressing, that goes out the window
My nephew is trans. It surprised his mom because she thought maybe "she" was a lesbian but never saw trans coming. I expected it since puberty. He never acted comfortable with most "girl" things. Then he stared following trans UA-camrs and it cemented it in my head he was trans. I stared talking to trans friends of mine to see what I can do to help him. It was generally told do he let him figure it out in his own time. He came out less than a month later. If I didn't know trans people it may have SEEMED like it was sudden and the to social media, but I did and am happy I can be there for him
As a trans parent of a trans teen, it is my experience that treating your child with respect and affirmation builds trust and confidence both in your child and in your relationship. It does no harm to let kids explore their relationship with any aspect of themselves, including gender. Even if it is "just a phase", your child knows you genuinely love and care for them in their entirety and that you really will always be there for them because you *are*. It really just boils down to "love and support your kids".
i graduated high school in 2018. my first middle school relationship was with a trans guy. i knew several other trans people as well, some of which identify the same today and others who don't. i came out as bi at 14 and had my own queerness questioned recently by family members who said, "well when you were younger all your friends thought they were boys, so i figured it was a phase you would grow out of." i'm so frustrated with this notion that anyone is ever "too young" to understand their identity. thank you so much for covering this topic!!
As one of my other favorite trans personalities, Katy Montgomerie, says "Transphobia causes brain rot." Not only that, but targeting people susceptible to transphobic talking points makes for an easy stepping stone towards further reactionary thought.
Much love, Jessie ❤️🏳️⚧️
Jesse Gender and Debunking PragerU are two of my favorite things, this is like the Reese's peanut butter cups of UA-cam videos
Now I want Reece's to eat while watching Jessie.
This reminds me of the same tactics they used for homosexuality back in the 70’s. History repeats.
PragerU: "This sudden explosion of 'girls' coming out as trans must be something to do with pollution. Stricter environmental regu- whoops, start over. Social media, yeah, that's it..."
It's the antipsychotics. I shouldn't have had stretchmarked pregnant woman tits at 11 years old.
Trans UA-camrs like you are one of the only reasons I’m comfortable with my identity as a non-binary person, Miles McKenna motivated me to come out to my parents. You have made me feel like I’m apart of something, like I’m not alone, so the fact that someone like this would try to say that kids shouldn’t have access to any of that wonderful, supportive community is disgusting. I admire you so much for being so level headed, informed and understanding. Thank you for being you!
Yeah I didn't know anyone who openly identified as trans when I was high school over 10 years ago. But at least two people I knew in high school have come out since. There could be more. I've lost touch with most of the people I knew back then. I'm so happy that as adults they feel safe to be themselves. And I'm glad that more kids feel that way at a younger age today.
So, in middle-school/high-school (when I began it was 7-to-9, when I graduated it was 7-to-12) I experienced testicular torsion...I recall hearing the doctor mention that I was an hour away from losing my dick and balls because of blood-loss to that area.
I didn't know that "transgender" was a thing until at least 6 years later, when I was in college. And had I known that being trans was even a thing, this would have been the PERFECT time to begin transition to femme since I was barely into my first/AMAB puberty! Instead, I just have Myspace and AOL Instant Messenger and RuneScape accounts and Mii's and Facebook profiles and secondary emails and UA-cam accounts and pages upon pages of D&D characters from 1st Edition to 5th Edition where the entire conceit is "Me, but a girl".
I'm pretty sure I have more dating app profiles where I'm marked as "F seeking either" than I have where I'm identified as "M". Which I guess cis-men people don't do.
@@onijester56 Same with the D&D characters. It started with a cute rapier-wielding sylph fighter when we switched from 3.5e to PF. In the time since then I have made, uh… about 2 male PF characters? And multiple pages of female characters, which have gotten increasingly overtly horny over time. I also used to not correct people on discord when they assumed from my speech patterns and (at the time) hyper-aggressive, prudish feminism that I was a girl. Oh and I played a girl on Spiral Knights. Back in the Runescape days there was enough stigma against G.I.R.L.s (remember that acronym? Guy In Real Life?) that it never occurred to me to play a girl… even though I _did_ often find my character to be lame, even though he was just me but an adult.
Also my first two Dragonfable characters were guys… but eventually when I made a rogue I just kinda decided to make her a girl and then I never played either of my male characters again.
Sorry for the language in my other post.
As an aside, I'd absolutely adore a collaborative video between you and JammiDodger
"Rates of anxiety, depression and instances of self-harm are at all record levels for this generation"
... which is NOT AT ALL the responsability, consequence or fault of the previous generation, which has shaped the current media, culture and economic environment. Oh no, the reason our Becky wants to off herself must be the 15 yo girl with teal hair and strange clothes, that's the reason.
I winder if Abigail understands the ethical issues with the claim "A woman is still just a woman... Being the man in the relationship is the most loving thing you can do."
To answer that loaded question, yes, it would have seemed like there were far fewer trans people when I was growing up. However, it's not because they didn't exist. In addition to the obvious reasons, it's also possible they didn't know. Had you asked me back then, I'd have given you a very different answer.
I didn't know for years and years, because I'd developed so many coping mechanisms to deflect. When my friend came out as a trans man, I thought binary trans was the only possibility, therefore it couldn't apply to me. When I eventually did research on nonbinary genders, I thought it was something that had to be "diagnosed" by a therapist or psychiatrist, yet I'd been in therapy for years and nobody ever did. When I looked up how to tell if you're trans or NB, I thought the sources were flawed, because while I fit many of the signs, I assumed it was due to my depression. When I listened to trans content creators like Abigail Thorn and her coming out video, I felt like I was appropriating the feelings and experiences of "genuine" trans people. I thought I was simply desperate to be anything other than depressed, because that was easier to accept.
I discovered my identity much later in life, and the realization hit like a ton of bricks. I only figured out that I have gender dysphoria after the fact, because I had previously mistaken it for depression (again) and body dysmorphia, which is not the same thing. To an uninformed outsider, it would have looked like some kind of "rapid onset." For context, I'm older than most of the trans content creators I follow, so yes, it's entirely possible to not know until a later age. I simply did not have access to the necessary information, education, or language to describe what I was experiencing growing up.
Those studies of only AMAB people had some people saying trans women were far more common than trans men (no mention of non-binary). This was one of the reasons it took me so long to figure myself out.
If there is an increase in AFAB people transiting I'd suggest it's that this info isn't being passed around not "sudden onset gender disphoria"
YES!!! "We let kids know that trans men exist, and suddenly a bunch of trans men have the vocabulary to describe themselves! Clearly this is horrible." - Literally the same recycled argument used to say that homosexuality wasn't appropriate for children...
Honestly the invented phenomenon about 'rapid onset gender dysphoria' is no different from parents who spent a very long time forcing their own kids into conformity and trying to stop them being gay, turning around and saying 'This is so sudden, you must be insane' when you finally stop hiding from them and come out even as gay.
It's really about *their* 'shock' when denial doesn't work anymore, not what the kids are or have been going through. Also in a culture that tries to 'blame the parents' if they don't successfully gender-police their kids into conformity, they claim/want to believe so to avoid that 'blame.' Even if it means actually ripping the family apart about it.
Autism was also this mostly boys thing before. Now there is a sharp rise in girls with autism diagnoses.
"It must be the youtubes brainwashing them into autism-ism!"/s
@@schnizzyfizz7832 YES!!! This! Also ADHD...and literally every medical issue/drug was primarily studied in men until . Literally medication for ovarian cancer was studied on all cis men. AFAB children (And AFAB people in general) have been ignored by medical studies for literally the entire history of medical studies.
@@schnizzyfizz7832 Admittedly, it seems the definition of 'autism' has expanded somewhat since I was a kid, and it kinda meant those kids who could barely communicate with the rest of the world, and Asperger's was kind of this separate almost always boys thing. Before they went to saying 'spectrum' I heard stuff about how Aspieness in girls goes. By those standards, they coulda tagged me with that, maybe, but I don't see how it' d have made any difference if so. :)
Jessie, your optimistic belief that most people want to be helpful and caring is so completely sweet and innocent. I know you aren't naïve, but somehow you cling to that belief, and I love it. I'm too jaded to give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
I cannot even begin to say how this video affected me. I'm still in tears. As a father to a trans son, you laid out and explained how I feel so precisely. I don't think I even understand how guilty I felt for even having these feelings until I heard them out loud. I love my son, I will support and care for him no matter what. But it is so terrifying to know I can't protect him from being trans. Not that he is transgender but how the world will treat him.
I didn't even know I needed my feelings validated.
You are very talented and I am thankful for what you do.
Without people like you, I would still be holding transphobic views. Thank you for what you do.