It's a bit strange to come back and see this video again now, having transitioned! I suppose it makes a lot more sense in hindsight why I was so interested in these ideas! A lot of people have messaged me in the years since I made the video saying they got a lot out of it, and the philosophy is still quite interesting and useful so I'll be leaving it up. I suppose there's always more to learn, both about philosophy and oneself! XXx
She'd been performing so thoroughly for so long, she managed something akin to convincing herSELF of her cisness. 😢😢😭 (As I wrote that, I remembered reading that the Wachowski sisters had initially wanted to include a trans character in The Matrix, and have their transness represented by having an actor of the appropriate gender portray their in-Matrix "Residual Self-Image;" a concept that fascinated me the SECOND I wrapped my head around it (which WASN'T the second Morpheus spoke the phrase, but thankfully the rest of that scene does a great job of explaining/hand-holding), and for which I gained a new appreciation when slightly later I became aware of trans people and had the notion of transness explained/cleared up for me.)
@OG Master Cuz 2 Giving textbook definitions isn't helpful if you can't explain how anything Abigail has ever said here fits those definitions. You claimed she's transphobic, so the burden of proof is on you. It's also interesting you continue to misgender her, even after this was pointed out to you... hmm, it would appear that the transphobic one was you all along.
0:50 “I am cisgender” Reminds me of when I went to an LGBTQ+ club and said, “I’m cis female, but you can use whatever pronouns. I do not care.” It was right there, and I didn’t see it.
Reminds me when i looked into what transgender and gender identity mean and thought "I'm afab but i don't feel like a woman, I guess some cisgenders feel that too." Then lurked around trans community cause i thought they were lovely, accepting and amazing people and then one day was like "Oh"
I identify as a cis male, but I don't really care for gender as a concept at all. Am I agender? Maybe, IDK, I just don't really care enough to identify as it. I'm fine with he/him and, in the absence of actually experiencing gender dysphoria, I don't care to take any steps.
@@alansmithee419 kinda how i feel right now but I'm a cis 'woman' but I've heard trans people say you don't have to have experienced gender-dysphoria to be trans,
I'm not transgender, but I believe that this philosophy can be applied to many other things. I have ADHD and my inability to focus means that I if I'm listening to someone, I lose my attention and ask again and again. (I had to rewind this video 3 times at places) And when people talk to me and think that I'm not interested in talking, or just deliberately trying to piss them off, I have no other proof to show them than, "I just can't focus" and that's the thing. you can't prove something to people with evidence if all the proof you have is, "I just am."
But you can test people's ability to focus by testing them under controlled conditions. Give the test subjects rewards if they successfully focus on things, and then they have a strong incentive to do so. If a particular individual's score is lower than the mean by a statistically significant amount, you can state with some level of confidence that the individual has a lower ability to focus.
I have adhd and when I act like a total dumb nugget like today I put jeans on top of my Pajama pant a wore them the the whole day and if someone tells me to go get something I often forget on the spot then have to retrace my steps.
@@omp199 I take it that what you're getting at here is that since a trans person can't take a quantifiable test to "prove" they're trans, it's not a "real" thing the same way ADHD is. But there's tons of conditions or mental presets that can't be quantified with anything beyond personal testimony, but that doesn't invalidate them either. Take chronic pain, or depression from my understanding.
@@incognitoburrito6020 Feelings have neurological correlates. Labels don't. If a person feels pain, there's going to be some nerve activity that corresponds to that, and with sufficiently advanced technology, you will be able to detect that nerve activity. On the other hand, if a person is genetically, anatomically, and functionally male, there's no nerve activity that can invalidate that label of "male" and change it to a label of "female". "Male" and "female" are labels devised to denote the two sexes. They are not feelings, and they have no neurological correlates.
@@omp199 Male and female aren't just labels, is the thing. There's all sorts of stuff about male brains versus female brains, but I think there _is_ a fundamental difference between most men and most women. You're right that no amount of brain activity will change your chromosomes, but chromosomes aren't _really_ how we define gender. In cases where they aren't XX or XY, they can barely describe sex. When we say "that person is a man/woman," we're looking at their dress, their behavior, their speech. Their karyotype isn't involved. It certainly wasn't when we came up with the distinction. I'm not trans, so I couldn't begin to tell you exactly what that's like. I also can't tell you _why_ it is I'm a woman. I just am. I do know that if I magically woke up tomorrow in a man's body, it wouldn't fit. I could check every anatomical box in existence and _something_ would still be off. Human emotion and identity is horrifyingly complex. Is it so hard to believe that some people were born with their brains wired that second way?
"I should say up front that I am cisgender. That means my gender matches the one I was assigned at birth, so I'm not transgender," she said, unaware that in three years this would be hilarious.
@Johnny Hammersticks since cis means identifying with your biological gender, and trans means to identify with the other gender Your statement is the counter example to your statement lmfao. Jesus fucking christ please dont procreate. or drive.
I was with a trans friend as she visited family who did NOT accept her as a woman. This despite her extremely feminine appearance, mannerisms, gestures, voice, makeup and clothing. They kept using male pronouns when addressing her and completely avoided using her name at all. At this family gathering, there was a child about 7 years of age - my friend's niece - that kept scowling and fidgeting every time they addressed my friend. Finally, after about an hour, the niece finally shouted, "WHY do you keep calling her 'he'? Just look at her - she's a girl!" There was dead silence for about 30 seconds. Nobody answered the niece, they just stared blankly at one another as if waiting for someone to have a good answer. Of course, nobody had one. My friend eventually smiled at her niece and, changing the subject, asked, "would you like me to show you how to fold a butterfly out of paper?" and for the rest of the visit everyone referred to my friend as "her" and started using her name. I couldn't help but think I lived through a live performance of "The Emperor's New Clothes" with a twist where everyone was claiming the Emperor was naked despite the Emperor being fully clothed, and only acknowledging it when a child finally spoke up.
> "This despite her extremely feminine appearance, mannerisms, gestures, voice, makeup and clothing" Why would any of this make the person more of a woman? Why did you feel the need to mention this? You can have all of those things and not be a woman.
@@FACEandLMS The family was operating within the confines of cultural binary ideals of what it means to be "man" or "woman". She met those ideals, fulfilling the role to public expectations, accepted as a "woman" based on those ideals everywhere else, and they still refused to accept her. Until a child pointed out she met all the rules. What you believe or what I believe about gender and gender roles isn't relevant to this story. Whether or not you or I subscribe to those rules doesn't matter. What they believed and their stubborn hypocrisy about it was the point of the story.
@@FACEandLMS It's less of a measure of womanhood and more of a show of dissonance. She looked, acted, sounded, etc, like a woman. Presumably if you met her on the street, you would assume she's a cis woman. She passes. There's no mistake as to her identity. The family continuing to misgender her throughout the night despite this is in conflict with this. The family was too stubborn to realize that.
@@FACEandLMS In all honesty, it is EXTREMELY unlikely someone would have a highly feminine appearance, highly feminine mannerisms and gestures, a high pitched voice at the same time, do female makeup and wear female coded clothing out of free will - and not be a woman. Just name me ONE example. Only one. And please not "this person has or has had a p*n*s - therefore I SAY they must be a man!!!". Because, I hope that is not new information for you, "being a man" doesn't boil down to genitals. And I say that as the biology teacher I am.
"what makes you the gender you are?" to be honest, i'm not sure, but i do know that i was clinically depressed then, and am the happiest i've ever been now that i have transitioned. And for me, that pretty much all that matters
I think the funniest thing is when you ask that question to cis people. I asked a transphobe once why they identify as male. "Because I have a dick", they said. Okay. Then I asked them, if someone replaced their dick with a vagina, and gave them estrogen, would they be a woman? And they said, "Uh, no? Even if I don't have a dick I'm still a man.", which on one hand yes, can be seen as transphobic if you interpret them as saying a sex change doesn't change your gender. But on the other hand, he basically admitted that what's between someone's legs has no bearing on gender. Basically validating any pre-op trans person or trans people that choose not to have an operation.
@@bugjams Never ask why I identify as anything, I will bluescreen and need to be rebooted otherwise. I ain't even trans yet this question feels me with dread.
@@bugjams It also validates trans people have dysphoria. Because a cis man isn't going to want to cut their dick off and give themselves estrogen. Don't they realize a trans woman is not a dude if she wants to do either one of those things or both?
here we see abigail going through the "enthusiastic ally" phase. in all seriousness though, its so amazing to see you come out!! this video actually really helped me figure out my gender identity and i still come back to it from time to time, its really reassuring and great! thanks for all your amazing and inspiring work u absolute (deserving) queen!!!!!!
I think I was also going through that phase when this video came out, then I figured myself and came out as trans about 4 months after. I imagine this video helped at least in some small part.
I too disbelieved who I was. In childhood I was incarcerated in a mental home for children and literally taught I was mentally ill for being absolutely sure I was a girl. Later I was taught I was evil, sick and perverted. It took me until I was 57 to accept that the lie was not mine. I’m living as my true self now. The hard part is erasing the behavior I used to protect myself from my own self loathing.
to me it's interesting when people are only "skeptical" about certain things. when i say i'm aromantic or i'm child-free, their response is essentially that i might feel differently in the future. and of course, we can't be 100% certain about anything in the future. but besides the fact that these weren't spur-of-the-moment realizations/choices about my identity and lifestyle, and for most people, they don't change, i'm interested in the fact that i have NEVER heard someone's statement that they DO want a partner/kids met with the assumption that they'll change their mind. when i say my favourite designer is christian dior, no one says "you say that, but you just haven't discovered the delights of nina ricci's dresses. you should be open to the possibility of idolizing someone else." this may be a bizarre and nonsensical example if you're not a designer, but that actually helps illustrate my point. skepticism is not a sensible response to a core part of who someone is, and these people know that, because it's their response ONLY to such things. or rather, their verbal response of "maybe" or "for now" is a mask for their actual, inner response: "i don't like that" or "i don't understand that, so it must be fake/wrong".
Exactly! It's a complete double standard where failure to prove you're completely valid, natural, and real means denial of basic human rights. Would they ask if someone is endosex, cisgender, and/or heterosexual? No, because those are completely accepted and recognized in society and systems of government. Of course generally cis womxn experience greater sexism compared to cis men, also misogyny, but rarely transmisia.
@@iliasbaker3870 maybe but that's something you have to figure out for yourself. I'm not trying to suggest that everyone who happens to be interested in trans issues necessarily is trans. But if you find yourself compelled to explore the topic to an almost obsessive extent it may be a sign that your subconscious is trying to tell you something. I realized something was probably wrong when my life consisted of nothing but getting drunk and staying up till 3 AM watching transgender documentaries.
FYI: the auto-generated closed captioning fairly consistently replaces "transphobes" with "trans folks", so if you're Deaf or HoH and reading this video, it may be quite confusing. If I recall correctly, no instances of the phrase "trans folks" was uttered, so any place where one sees that, read as "transphobes" and the video should make more sense.
Gosh looking at this video and just seeing the artist formerly known as ----- being 'an enthusiastic ally' definitely something I went through before I realized I was trans. Actually it was "I'm an ally I love trans people" "Wow trans girls are so hot and uniquely beautiful" "Wow does it seem like a liberating experience being trans!" "Wait." "Oh boy." I love Abigail so much and it's funny though she came out like a good year after I did, judging by the timeline her and I realized we were trans about the same time.
Yeah well, if cis people want to wear whatever clothes and be called by their birth names or whatever, that's fine with me, people ought to be able to do whatever they please.
@Bob Bobbertson Serious question: when you call them freaks and fetishists, are you actually attempting to change their minds, or rethink their choices, or do you just enjoy making them unhappy?
Yeah! And I like the contrast between Metaphysical Skepticism (4:35) and "The man who isn't there". Because transphobes say that transgenders don't "really" exist while in truth the man they think they see isn't really there.
on the subject of why trans people might not want to debate their gender with you- it can be very mentally taxing. explaining to you why I'm non-binary requires diving into my dysphoria, my mental health, and bittersweet childhood memories, all of which are painful subjects that if treated poorly can leave me in a very dangerous place mentally. and spending years of your life arguing with people about something core to who you are leaves you with a lot of self hatred, and you can find yourself not trusting your own feelings. I'm now working on undoing years of self hatred and trying to solve my horrid intrusive thoughts, all while still trying to get through high school. if you're wondering why trans people have such high rates of suicide and depression, this is a huge reason why. so if you're genuinely interested in better understanding trans people, which I think many of these people are, keep in mind that this is a dangerous and painful topic for us and find someone willing to talk, and be sensitive to how you discuss the topic.
Hey, great point! As someone who struggles with my own gender identity (I can't pretend however that my experience is the same), I am very proud of you for continuing to go on with your life. Ultimately, I can say that you are who you are, and that's not something anyone can or should try to control. Best of luck to ya!
Eyyyy good to see another enby out there! Just thinking of having to explain myself like that gives me major anxiety, and it's why I haven't done as much to express my gender the way I want as I would have liked to by now. And the truth is that I don't know why I'm non-binary; I just am. I don't have access to the kind of extensive research that is still being done and needs to be done in the future to help me explain what's going on in my brain, nor do I have adequate access to language that can correctly convey my explanation. I'm sort of just left with the response that as soon as I learned that non-binary gender identities were possible, everything clicked for me. I guess I could go into my history of never fitting in growing up, how I hated the division between boys and girls and it never made sense to me, and how the more I can perform gender neutrality the happier I feel, but that's about as much as I can explain. I hope your journey is headed in a positive direction and that you have plenty of supportive people in your life, because this shit isn't easy, especially if you're still in HS.
Idk what I am, if anything I'm agender (it doesn't really matter to me). Not really anyone knows it and I don't care how people refer to me so it's all good. But I was like that when I came out as lesbian. I had the pastor of my church (that later kicked me out) try to get me to meet with him and his wife to discuss stuff. I'm much more comfortable with myself now but, at the time, I didn't really have any allies besides my college friends and girlfriend. My parents were struggling with it so I wasn't getting any support from them (I now do though!). Suffice to say I just flat out refused to meet with them for the same reasons you listed. Wasn't going to change their mind and all it would do is make me struggle with myself more, which I knew is what they wanted to do!
I don’t think your sexuality/sexual identification should be a core part to you. I shouldn’t want to be your friend because I’m gay, and I don’t want to be like, no, not funny dan, non-binary Dan. I want to say cool dan or gamer dan. Non binary is a part of you but ultimately not your personality but your sexuality, which are very much separate. Make your personality outgoing and kind, rather than non binary and obnoxious.
My first revalation that trans people exist was in middle school. A male presenting friend of mine was asked by our yard duty if they wanted to be a girl or a boy when they were grown up. My friend broke down crying, hysterically yelling "I want to be a girl! I want to be a girl!" We all knew at that point she was a girl. It explained SO MUCH.
God my experience is funny cause as a kid I was exposed early to trans people via the internet. Like, those transition comparison photos. As a kid I didn’t get gender (turned out I’m agender, ayy) so it was all foreign to me. I knew trans people existed but I couldn’t fathom it until I got older. Then as a teen realized I don’t even _have_ a gender myself XD
@@Lylybeebee how dare you show intolerance and negate my gender identification. according to Western civilization standards (or rather their lack) for insulting a sexual minority, you should be imprisoned.
@@niezesrajsierobaczku7414 I love how you think you're making a valid point when in reality you're misinterpreting the western world's more liberal view on gender entirely.
@@БайжигитКурмантаев-б9ж fun fact! Homophones are scientifically shown to have less cognitive abilities and are less educated. But since those are big boy words, let me put it simply in a language you'd understand: u dumb
Jayden S. saying 41% doesn’t make you cool. In fact it shows you lack empathy a basic human function related to cognitive systems. In short your a dumbass and an asshole congrats
@@gewurztramina "list of trans creators, writers, and philosophers" would definitely include Philosophy Tube. The channel is run by a trans woman who is a creator, writer, and philosopher.
I know it's amusing to poke fun but like, as someone who was a closeted gay until he was in his 30s... Most people don't understand what that's like. It's not "lying" or "tricking people." It's being made to untangle a mess that was thrust upon you before you can even know who you really are.
I had a really rough conversation with my dad this Sunday, where he spoke up on my trans identify for the first time ever. And stated that "I could never be any other gender than what I was born as". It hurt so incredibly much. We had spoken for ages and I had done my best to explain my view of gender, but somehow he kept going back to that idea of gender being biological and set. I could not win. It felt like losing my dad. I just got recommended this video and it affirmed so many of my experiences. Thank you.
my parents struggled with understanding too. honestly, I moved out, and I focused on healing myself. It also gave them time to process a bit. I was actually able to have a productive conversation with my dad recently (after 3 years), where I explained the idea of gender as a social construct in a way he could understand. the conversation was only successful because after that period of time, he was open to learning, and I had come to a place where I had the words to talk on his level about it.
Maybe say that yes, gender is biological, but in the brain. You can’t see gender. You can only feel it. Sex is physical. Gender is neurological. Structural. And it can’t be changed any more than your chromosomes can be. Trans people just so happen to have the wrong sex for their brains.
Also fellow trans person here. I get that shit is hard. Another alternative may be… giving up the conversation. Don’t invest too much into having someone change their mind if they’re not changing it after arguments upon arguments. It’s not worth it. Only causes pain long term.
Despite being unable to see the pain of others, we still invented pain killers in good faith. Refuting the existence of trans people would be akin to saying all those who take pain killers are just drug-seekers, unless they could prove they were in pain.
That's completely irrelevant, as this video is arguing against a position of giving the medicine anyways, i.e. "let trans people do whatever they want". It would only be a valid comparison if, after giving the medicine, we were to sit down and have a discussion about whether pain "metaphysically" exists, or if it is merely manufactured by our minds, and subjectively disagreeable.
That has the seed of something clever in it, but the comparison you draw isn't perfect. Most cis people (I think) don't ever actually experience or question gender - hence the popular thought that sex &gender are one and the same. Only someone with a discrepancy between their sex &their gender identity actually knows what it feels like to be in the wrong body, for the rest of us the two simply meld together
That’s a terrible comparison. First, everyone feels pain, so that’s something that was never in doubt, but only a very small number of people are trans, so most people don’t have access to the experience of being trans. Second off, the sensation of gender disforia or feeling like a certain gender isn’t what is being called into question. It’s a matter of if trans people are a certain kind of person. I agree with you, they are the kind of person they say they are, but my agreeing with you doesn't excuse bad arguments.
Yeah that's a thing that's ALSO currently happening. The government is making doctors limit what medications pain patients can take, for how long, and what strength on the idea that one set dose can serve to eliminate the pain of all sufferers regardless of body size, injuries, illnesses, medical history, or how long they've taken the medication. They insist that unless you have cancer that your chronic pain isn't a real problem and won't be dealt with according to your specific medical history and your doctor's experience with you and that illness/issue but just with a one size fits all solution. Even though ACTUAL doctors have been telling them for a decade that's not how bodies, pain, or medicine works. They tell us that since we don't have cancer we must just be pill seekers despite all research showing chronic pain sufferers are actually the LEAST likely to abuse prescription pain meds.
I am writing a paper against LGBT oppression in the Christian community against my Conservative Christian Private school and I just wanted to say that, as a closeted person and a student, this video was super helpful and incredibly meaningful. Also the coleslaw section was painful to watch
I envy your courage, I am also a closeted trans person in a Christian private school however I can’t even stand up for lgbt rights when teachers and pastors are being homophobic/transphobic
@@heycat6167 That's unfortunately a natural thing for most people, especially when it seems like everyone agrees with them. However, I can tell you now, as a college student, that there is such a wide world out there of people in support. The chances that a random stranger would be in support of you rather than against you are massive and positivity in the world is far more common than anyone can believe.
I'm interested in this topic and I hold the second viewpoint in the video, of "let people do whatever they want". I don't understand some things about being transgender and I wish to understand so if anyone wants to respond to my questions then please do: How do you 'feel' male? I know that I am male because I have XY chromosomes, but I don't feel male. I just feel like me, and that wouldn't change if I were female or non-binary. If gender is not biological and is instead mental, how do you define the male/masculine gender? Liking cars, sports and robots and guns? That's just stereotypes. A female can like that too. If gender is not biological, I'm not sure that I understand it. Although I understand that it's emotionally stressful to explain your gender, I'd like to understand in the pursuit of academic knowledge. Thanks for any responses.
@@peragens I agree, people should just do their own research instead of going 'Oh, you're trans! Explain it to me then, as it is your duty and as I, a cis person, am not obligated to find the information I suddenly want.'
@alice pereira Honestly you should never ask someone to explain something to you that you aren't actually interested in just to pretend to be nice and interested. Like the person above asking to have transgenderism explained to them. Even in just asking someone to explain they have already managed to be extremely offensive in the rest of that comment. Like how am I going to explain shit to that guy if he already has a very obvious opinion about it which he is not willing to change?
@@IO-gm5qw i'm a transman, ill try to answer your questions as best i can. gender is weird. I like dresses and makeup and frilly things but i'm still a man and i know transwomen who are very butch and hate skirts and dresses. clothing preferences and interest have little to do with someones gender identity. gender doesn’t really exist and it's pretty much what you make of it (if that makes any sense). so the male gender is whatever people who identify as male say it is, same with with masculinity. sorry if this was unhelpful gender is really messy and hard to explain because everyone experiences it differently. it'll probably be beneficial for you to read the trans authors in the description, they can explain this a lot better than a nervous 16 year old.
@@zoieholston4161 thank you for answering my question. I have done lots of research despite what others think. I have still not found an answer to this basic question. Firstly. Thank you for stepping up as a trans person and explaining your experience, I understand that it can be emotionally weighted. Secondly, if 'masculinity' is whatever someone wants it to be, then what actually is it? What is the point to defining gender? Of course biological sex exists and of course personality exists, but what, fundamentally, is gender? If I, as a cis male, enjoy stereotypically female things, does that make me feminine? I would think that this isn't actually gender and is instead just personality. Thanks for taking the time to explaining it to me, and feel free not to respond if this topic hits anything that causes hurt.
Abigail a few years ago: "Before we dive into the remainder of this video, I should say up front that I am cisgender." Abigail: "My gender matches the one I was assigned at birth." Abigail: "I'm not transgender." Audience in 2021: Lol
When I told my parents I was gay (and was still coming to terms with everything else) everyone was incredibly supportive. But there was... one... comment my stepdad made during the group hug. "Just as long as you're not gonna be like that Caitlyn Jenner guy, er.. girl..." yeah so I mostly keep to myself.
I mean, he didn't dead name her. so that.. like... a good? thing?? just look after yourself, and find friends who you can be open with. One day you'll have control of your own life.
I wrote an essay for school about how society needs to change to accommodate the existence of trans folks and used this as one of my sources- little did I know at the time that both the video's creator and myself were not, in fact, cisgender men
I was genuinely surprised at how positive the comments on this are, which is sad really. The fact that seeing positive comments on a video about this topic, is a suprising thing.
if you read the comments under the top comments or the newest comments you can indeed see *a lot* of transphobia. I really don’t get it how people can be so hateful against transgenders, they don’t hurt you with this. (If any transphobe is going to use the “fool into sex” argument it’s literally your fault and your desire if you agreed into sleeping with her in the first place.) Instead of being supportive and accepting, nice and conforming people literally *DECIDE* to be like this? I think as a society we should be strong together - we don’t have to agree at every point but we need to validate each other’s existence, respect each other and be nice. It’s not that hard to use the right pronouns. I honestly feel fucking sad for transgenders, I would commit suicide too if I had to experience discrimination my whole life along for something that I didn’t freely chose.
@@MotoCat91 In a weird way, that statement aged perfectly. I applaud her choice (and her bravery) in leaving this, and the rest of 7 years of videos, public. I'd be devastated to lose seven years of her brilliant mind.
Asking me, a transman, to explain a great part of me. Is asking me to explain one the most heavily debated things of all time. The Self. Which is already a lot to expect of one person.
I do expect it if you. I expect no less of anyone else, Trans or Cis. “It is wrong for anyone, anywhere, for any reason to believe anything on insufficient evidence.” William Clifford.
Almost the same deal here. It took until I was 24 for me to be exposed to enough people to realize that people were just people, and that being myself was okay by extension. I figured out I was trans the next year. That pseudo-kindness from a position of comfort takes a long time to wear away to something real.
@Bob Bobbertson Do you even have the slightest idea of what the Frankfurt school was about? Your comment doesn't make sense and yes, I reported your for spreading hate and misinformation. How is being trans a threat to yourself or even to other people? There's studies a click away from you that show transitioning decreases the risk of suicide for the majority of trans people.
when I came out to my best friend, at first when he started with "whatever someone wants to do it fine" I thought he would continue with "it's your choice" but what he did say, which surprised me, was "like, if someone wants to be who they are that's great, and I don't want you to be afraid to do that." And has since shown that he sees me as valid. He doesn't fully understand, but he respectfully asks me questions and sees me as who I am. He's a good friend of mine, the first person I really opened up to at my school, which makes me really happy.
So you aren't 'valid' until someone starts kissing your ass? I have to ask you about your sexuality and all its intricacies and constantly show support for you to feel valid? Give me a break.
I'm really happy you have such a supportive friend, and I hope that he has continued his support over these three months. Wherever you are out there, I hope you're doing well
@@YeahForSure99 I think you've confused "kissing [one's] ass" with "trying to understand the experiences of someone else." But that could just be me. Not quite sure why you had to be so hostile. Seems like maybe you could use a little bit of support.
What your friend said was the solution I was looking for... Thanks, I couldn't grasp a better alternative to "let people do what they want", and had been troubled with it for months. But "let people be what they are" is perfect. I needed a way to show I care and validate the feelings of the person without judging them but couldn't get it into words.
@@YeahForSure99 Have you never had a friend in your entire life? Last I checked, minus your overly exaggerated and edgy take on being nice to your friend means "kissing ass," that's exactly the key to being a good friend - supporting your friends. If you don't support your friends, then you're likely to not be a very good friend.
16:00 This reminds me a "debate" I had with a friend. Abridged version: Friend: transitioning is wrong, they should cure them rather than enhance the disease. Me: well, the overwhelming majority of the western medical concensus is that transition is the treatment Friend: how do you know doctors are right? Me: are you kidding me? What alternative treatment do you propose then? F: idk, I'm not a doctor M: okay bye idiot
@Stale Bagelz Well seems like a lot of the controversy boils down to not having a clear consensus on what defines a gender, how many genders there are and what defines a man and a woman as a man and a woman.... (Many like to base it in biological functions unique to cis gendered people, and dislike that people want to alter the meanings of existing labels because they buy into the performative theory... then it turns into a confusing mess with all of these new labels for "non-binary" genders(Especially since most non binary genders seem purely performative, and frequently redundant... and the performances often don't fall outside of what would be accepted a normal for whatever gender said non-binary gender most often gets "misgendered" as.) Throw in "trans" people who identify as such for reasons other than because they have gender dysphoria... (Some may be trying to distance themselves from some past trauma by trying to become a completely different person, some may have a pathological and unhealthy obsession with attention, or a victim complex where they adopt the trans label for attention or to be seen as a victim) I think the first step to dealing with the whole trans thing is through study and mental screening of those who identify as trans to figure out why they've adopted the label, and then treat them as needed from there.... (Such as consoling or support groups for those who don't have dysphoria but suffer other issues that cause them to masquerade as someone with dysphoria...) Point is, to deal with trans rights first we need to come to a consensus on what gender is, what it is to truly be trans, and how to prevent pretenders from using it as a political shield for personal gain...
There are ways to treat gender dysphoria besides transition. Transitioning is a cure yes, but maybe your friend thought the physical dangers (which there are you can’t deny that) made that method less preferable to a more psychiatrically charged method of treating the condition. He might not have known exactly how you treat gender dysphoria aside from transitioning, that doesn’t make his point invalid. Not everyone who disagrees with you and or doesn’t know how to fully communicate their argument is an idiot. That or you made this up.
Lmao just watched this video and was like "wow this guy really gets it" just to click on the channel and be confronted by the least shocking revelation ever
Transphobes are like people who say that depression isnt real because "its easy to not be sad" without taking into the complex psychology of what the condition actually is.
@@marksanchez7323 Women in general already are a subset of their own class... the class of being human. Are you upset that humans are divided into male and female, because it makes all people a subset of a class they are part of?
@@marksanchez7323 mhhmm using big words and complicated sentences thinking that would make you look more knowledgeable. give us reasons, give us statistics, don't rephrase what everyone already knows to twist it for your own purposes. come on now.
@@coolbanana165 You're confusing me with trans people. I'm fine with female people being able to define themselves free of males (including transwomen)
"I am actually incapable of being an expert on it..." FOR NOW. 💕 I'm rewatching a bunch of trans content I first saw a couple years ago, before I started questioning my gender in earnest [for the first time since adolescence], to enhance my level of understanding through a new lens. And it is so interesting how your path from hardcore ally to trans person is similar to my own & that of several other people!
I remember a loooong time ago, seeing this for the first time, I felt attacked by the "yer dad" thing. "Why am I wrong to just tolerate others?" and "how do you really know?" were thoughts I had back then. But now, a little over a year after realizing I am trans (also after diving way more into ethics, philosophy, and politics than I did back then) I re-watched this; and man do I feel so much more differently about at least half of your video. My old thoughts were there because they were taught to me, and because of that my conception of myself wasn't my own. Now my thoughts, and myself, are mine.
Even after watching the video twice, I don't see how Yer Dad is bigoted. I'm in the comments looking for an explanation but I've only found a few people who believe as I do. Oh well.
@@shineeis5657 I don't have time to re-watch it right now, but here is what I remember: "Yer dad" is not okay with certain (opressed) people existing within his presence. He's basically saying that certain people are tolerated to exist by him if he doesn't notice them existing. Then, does he really even tolerate them? and even if you see that as toleration, why do some have to be barely tolerated while others can exist without thought or opinion? the different and negative treatment even when mild or seemingly harmless, on a great scale (many people being like yer dad) never allows the world to change to allow the oppressed people to exist in a non-oppressed state. I'm super glad to see you were willing to ask others about this and your willingness to hear and understand others is a good quality. It allows you to form your own opinions more accurately. Let me know if this helps at all I'm very tired haha
@@Valdyr_Hrafn Ah thank you. I was wondering the same because when describing homophobic yer dad he said "as long as it stays away from me" but when talking about yer dad in terms of transphobia just said that people should be able to do/wear what they want etc. and I don't see how that denies that trans people are valid. I agree that not tolerating people in his presence is wrong and that metaphysical scepticism applied here is wrong but I can't see how that applies to yer dad essentially saying well they can do what they want I don't mind
I want to comment on Bettcher's comparison of homophobia and transphobia from "Yer Dad." I totally see the issue of homophobia often being couched in the ethical terms ("not as good as"). However, that was not my personal experience. I grew up in a family and general community that was entirely dominated by belief in a particular religion. To be brief, what was taught was that homosexuals did not actually exist, much like the metaphysical skepticism. In an infamous talk/speech/sermon given by one of the highest level leaders of the religion he says: "To introduce [the subject] I must use a word. I will use it one time only. Please notice that I use it as an adjective, not as a noun; I reject it as a noun. I speak to those few, those very few, who may be subject to homosexual temptation. I repeat, I accept that word as an adjective to describe a temporary condition. I reject it as a noun naming a permanent one." -- Boyd K. Packer, "To the One" For many decades, some covering my childhood and youth, my sexuality was treated as not really existing. So while I am cisgendered, I do feel a strong empathy with the struggle of trans people who have to fight for their metaphysical existence in the minds of others. (I'm running a bit behind on my subscriptions, so my apologies for this late comment.)
There is a core difference in how the idea of homosexuality and transgenderism works. Homosexuality is something that descibes an attraction to the same gender. denying its existence is denying the entire concept existing, which is dumb... cuz we are discussing it. Transgenderism is claiming that saying what you are, or acting as you say you are, makes you that gender. This argument comes down to how we define what gender is. Do we define gender as factual or subjective... and why?
I'd definitely agree with you here, a common Christian viewpoint that I hear in regards to homosexuality is that homosexual desires are a "test from God" and everyone is "tested by God" in one way or another. What is essentially happening is a denial of the existance of homosexual people, the viewpoint boils down to "everyone is straight and should act accordingly; some people just have a harder time being straight".
It's this kind of attitude that make you realise how many self-hating gay and bisexual people there are living lies in very religious communities. "Look we've all had these feelings, you just aren't trying hard enough to supress them" is how I've always read this.
@@paaperman Not quite. It's the same metaphysical scepticism in lots of religious traditions: there is no such thing as being gay or bi - just confusion due to 'same-sex attraction' (or the equivalent). In the same traditions, there is no such thing as being trans - just confusion due to 'dysphoria' (or the equivalent).
@MsMarian Rogers This problem goes in both directions --- especially in conservative eastern societies with a third accepted gender. Look at Iran where former president denied the existence of gay people there ( and a death sentence ) Yet there is a massive amount of srs surgery ( including many gays). What you don't see there is trans people openly gay post surgery which are the majority in the US. (Gender identity running counter to sexuality ).
Almost. The glass did actually used to be sand. Its more like one of those "real or cake" things. After the reveal, the cake is not just obviously a cake. It also was a cake the whole time. Transphobes just cant accept that they were wrong so they try to continue to insist that the cake is a shoe.
It's axtually true though, many scholars will be like "well there are actually many schools of thought on that, some people believe x, which has a bunch of problems according to some, but what I bellieve is y though in truth It's hard to know for sure".
As a trans NB person, yeah, this video sounds about right. Unlike being pansexual, I'm not told it's evil and wrong of me to be non-binary. Instead I'm told my identity doesn't exist and I'm delusional. When people ask me how I know my gender, all I can really say is "I wasn't happy being cis, but I am happy being non-binary." I feel comfortable in my own body and identity, which I didn't experience until I started identifying as NB. So I can't give a solid "logical" answer because there really isn't one beyond my own emotions. I just *am* trans. I don't know any other way to prove it, and honestly I'm not sure there is one for me.
How do you know you have a gender and when you say gender how can you be sure others are talking about that same thing? Its all a tad abstract and human for my liking.
ayy, a fellow pan enby! honestly, that's probably the best answer you can really come up with when being put on the spot like that, like what else do people want us to say? "identifying myself based on my genitalia feels wrong"?
@@eliseanderson5591 Is that important? Im genuinely curious. I just dont. like being athiest, its not that I dont believe in a deity I just dont register it as a decision I need to make. I dont doubt that you identify as a specific gender nor do I think trans people are a myth or ill. Im just me and I don't feel like that needs to be categorised or defined
Ace360x .MLG that's fair. I was just wondering because sorting out abstract things like this is always easier if I can look at it from more perspectives- adding another lens to the scope, if you will. To answer your question, I think your gender is only as important as it is to you, but everyone should at least be free to express their identities. As for myself, knowing I have a gender isn't really something I'm even passively conscious of- I identify as nonbinary because, honestly, more people know what that umbrella term means than they do fluidflux, which is more fitting for me specifically- I hardly have the mental space to even think about it though, most of the time. It only really matters when I see myself and get waves of dysphoria or when I'm forced to think about the toxicity of gender roles. When I am consciously aware of it though… I guess it's like trying to describe color to a blind person. There's no real way to just tell someone what gender _is_ and have them get the whole picture, but among those of us with an intimate relationship with the concept, we just have to trust that we see it the same. Our words line up and our realities reflect one another, and it means something specific and important to each of us as individuals. It's concrete, but indescribable. Perhaps part of our obsession with labelling it is because of that- it's fascinating, and we all want to relate to each other's abstract feelings. I might just be overanalyzing it, though. The way one fits in their own body is inherently personal.
"how do you know you're the gender you are", "what does it feel like to be a man", "how do you know what it feels like to be a man" bro i don't know. I just am. Maybe you tell me how do you know. I've been jealous of men since I hit puberty. Jealous of their bodies, looks, voices, anatomy. Then I became aware I'm also jealous of their masculine names and pronouns. Of how they're perceived by the society as men. That if I dated someone, I wanted to be their boyfriend. I wanted that for myself. Thinking of myself as a woman made me feel sad and wrong (not because there's anything wrong with being a woman, that is, if you actually are one). I guess most men would feel like that if they constantly got categorised as someone they're not. Well, so did I. Transitioning was the only way to ease the feeling of jealousy and wrongness.
Inserting my opinion that no one asked for: As a cis, straight, man, I don't really understand the idea of gender. The term, ""man" doesn't mean anything to me, I see it as nothing more than a label. From what I've been able to gather, gender just seems to be an arbitrary grouping of certain behavioral and physical traits that I have no reason to take seriously when my personality gives me a much better understanding of who I am. I say I'm a dude, just cause I'm use to it, but I don't see it as a relevant part of my identity.
@@crackpointfivelive9418 i think you'd only start paying attention to it once it was gone or replaced by a label that doesn't fit you. if you feel comfortable with it, then of course you're not going to think much of it. imagine being forced to live as a woman. would you be fine with that? there actually was a case of a boy who got mutilated and somebody decided to make him his guinea pig and made his parents raise him as a girl. long story short he committed suicide. that and the fact it isn't just about the label, it's about the body as well. gender identity is wired into your brain. i don't think it's possible for a cis person to understand what it's like to have dysphoria, but again - imagine if you woke up having a female body. as a straight man you could be attracted to it, but would you want to look like that yourself for the rest of your life? wouldn't you want your old body back? personality sure, is important, but it's not the only thing that makes you you. gender identity also isn't about behaviours or tastes or roles assigned by the society. it literally is part of who you are. and when people refuse to acknowledge it and you have to take medications and undergo surgeries just to be able to stop thinking about how it doesn't match, then it sure becomes a big deal.
@@baizhuwaitingroom7057 That makes sense, since it hasn't gotten in the way of my identity I haven't noticed it's effects, as if I've become numb to it. I think I somewhat understand the dysphoria part (nowhere near the same degree and someone who transitioned gender, but still somewhat). Growing up I was effectively assigned an identity (related to the personality everyone thought I had not gender) that didn't match my own. At first I was just afraid to be myself, but eventually after years of others telling who I am, I ended up forgetting my actual identity. I dressed in a way to hide myself, acted in a way that I wouldn't be seen or heard. The person I saw in the mirror I knew was me but never felt like it was. I don't know how to describe it, but all that came with some weird feeling that led a lot of self hatred. It's not until I hit the absolute bottom that I felt the facade everybody put onto me died and the real me was born. I lost weight, dyed my hair, dressed in way "showed me off". I acted in a way that felt right, and just trusted my heart. I remember looking in mirror and feeling something I can only describe as "right" or "destined" or something. Like for the first time in my life I actually feel like _me_ me. Although during the pandemic I've seen all of that reversing and it's absolutely terrifying. I do have a label I gave myself to represent what I went through, and who I am. Maybe this is what gender is to people; a title relating to a personal story or struggle. If gender dysphoria is anything like that, I can't imagine myself surviving it.
Thank you for leaving this (and other) old videos up. For new viewers, it helps for binging philosophy on youtube, and there's So Much value in the channel.
Trans rights was, for a long time, a part of social justice I took less interest in, mostly due to my lack of understanding about being transgender. Maybe it’s due to my own personal biases, or maybe it’s a genuinely more complex aspect of humanity, but I didn’t “get” gender identity in the way things like race and sexuality seem so easy to understand for me, so I had a kinda dismissive attitude about it, like “yeah, sure, whatever the trans say”. I was basically yer-dad. But recently, I’ve been talking and making friends with trans people, and I started taking it a lot more seriously, wanting to learn about transphobia and TERFS, and checking my own biases on the subject. I still have a lot to learn, and I’m still a white cis guy, so I’m not gonna pretend I’m some kind of woke authority, nor am I gonna pretend these are things I’ll EVER be done learning about, but I’m proud of the progress I’m making. This video was really helpful for me. Thank you. EDIT: I kinda found out I'm not straight during these months, so I'm just referring to me as a "white cis guy" now. Yay me, I guess :p
if i may, "transgenderism" is a term we don't commonly use in the community - personally i've only ever heard it used in a sarcastic manner to make fun of it (that's not to say that nobody is allowed to use it though, including your trans friends!) but to quote GLAAD, "This is a term used by anti-transgender activists to dehumanize transgender people and reduce who they are to "a condition."" so instead i would suggest saying something like "trans identities," "being transgender," or "transgender people." thank you very much for taking your time to learn, friend! :)
@@ms.moreno8471 You'll be surprised how transphobic I was before that. Not as much as my parents but a lot, they did a good job in making me a horrible person and it's hard to change that. I'm still fighting against self-hatred and find myself thinking homophobic, misoginistic and transphobic stuff about myself. At least my self-racist phase didn't last too long and I'm only a bigot against myself, not others.
I'm a 52 yo white guy, with two teenaged sons. I've always taken the default position of judging someone by the content of their character, and have taught my sons thus (thankyou Martin Luther King ). I realised while watching this, however, that I have at times, unwittingly, ignorantly, been Yer Dad (albeit fungus trimmed) with regards to Trans people and the problems they face. That said, I am always learning, and evolving, and I've learned a lot from this. My journey toward enlightenment continues, but I'm leaving Yer Dad behind. Thank you. 😁👍
I hope you know that this means a lot to me as a trans guy. It’s rare to see people admitting their past faults and actively put in effort to improve themselves. Thank you :)
To simplify, I felt like I was performing my gender most of my life. When I transitioned it took some time to recover from performing for most of my life. I no longer perform my gender. I'm finally able to be myself.
I was yer dad on trans issues from about the age of 5 till a couple years ago when I actually researched the science. Then I realized that I showed almost all the signs of being transgender and so decided to wear the label for a week and it fit like a glove. About a year after that I would say was the first time since the age of about 8 I wasn’t majorly depressed.
Oscar Hade thanks and it wasn’t so much that transitioning got rid of my depression but more that the constant worsening social anxiety and awkwardness caused my depression
@casual complaints Shut. Up. You're just wrong. You're misinformed and just bought into the first bullshit you read about trans people. Even though you yourself said trans issues are complicated, you're trying to reduce it to simple things. Have you even watched the video? Because you're now doing exactly what it's talking about. "If you claim you're trans and aren't going to go through surgery then you're not trans" It's a FACT that there are numerous trans people who don't want to get surgery for various reasons. If you disagree, then you're saying those people are wrong when they say they're trans. You're simply denying their existence because of your personal opinion. Even if that doesn't compel you, here's something. Trans people don't just fall between "trans men or trans women". There are people who identify as in between, outside of it, and more. And again, being trans isn't just about your sex, it's about your GENDER. Are you going to demand someone who says they're neither a man nor a woman to have surgery? "and you can't change my mind on that" So you admit you're biased and close-minded. At least that's something. Does that mean you will shut up since you're clearly not interested in an actual discussion?
@casual complaints The suicide, rate thing is purposeful misinformation, When you remove negative family opinion, and unsupportive FAMILY AND FRIENDS from the equation the suicide rate for trans people who HAVE transitioned, is near cis levels. Stop being an obtuse chud.
Ok, and maybe its because I'm older but the biphobia I was used to when I was young was far more along the lines of 'metaphysical scepticism'- and that was in gay and straight spaces. A LOT of people used to say that there was 'no such thing', that you could be gay or straight but not bi, and if you said you were bi you were either a gay person who was afraid to come out or in denial, or maybe someone who was going along with trends or something. I don't usually go in on being overly critical, but this kind of feels like an erasure of my experience and that of a lot of people like me. Idk, maybe you address it later on- just kind of rubbing me the wrong way now so I might have to come back to this later.
@@DonPipirulando The only "cure" for gender dysphoria is transitioning, that may or may not includes hormones and medical procedures. The conversion therapies and such are just evil and should just be stopped, they do the opposite in fact.
This is probably the fourth time I've watched this video and every single time the disclaimer at the beginning just gets me. I'm so happy you came out, although maybe you should edit in a little bit about how actually you ARE an expert on this particular topic ;D /hj
Every human being has the right to decide what their life means to them. If we don't own our lives, our bodies, and our minds, then what do we really own?
I'm a cis female because I am female and don't identify with other genders. I don't know how to explain it. I'm not female: because I have female genitalia, because I menstruate, because I have long hair or because I wear dresses and skirts, I am female because I AM female. It resonates with me, it makes sense to me to define myself that way. I don't have to justify why I'm female and neither should trans women.
Yes, I definitely agree and I really do feel like that our minds are *us*. Our bodies are just our shell and it represents our identity and who we are and who we want to be. Even if you have a gender assigned at birth, it’s your mind and you are free to change the shell as far as it can and people NEED to respect that. You are free to do everything you want, changing your hair colour, changing your hair texture, changing your breast size, changing your looks and even changing your gender. So for the transphobes: when you change your gender you still have the chromosomes assigned at birth, if you change your hair colour and texture you still have the real DNA inside the follicle and suddenly you don’t turn a “hairphobe”? just *ACCEPT* trans people it really can’t be that hard? have you never experienced any love in your life that you have to invalidate and hate transgender people?
but then what does being female mean? is it just a feeling? i am female because of the body i was born in, even as a baby i was female and i didn't have a gender identity back then (because no baby is capable of such complex thought)
@@Kiki-vc1xo i know there's a difference but terms like "female" and "male" are used to talk about biological sex, so saying things like "i was assigned female at birth" or "i am a female because i feel like one" makes no sense... i AM a female because of my body and i am a woman because i socially live like one
@@joulessss I kinda agree with you on the phrasing "feeling female/male" and what that could mean. I think this a conversation that isn't mentioned too much, but I personally believe that many people conflate these words with Man/Women or Masculine/Feminine. For the record, I'm a female but my gender is demigirl. Whenever I talk about my sex and gender, I'm very particular with using "female = sex" and my "feelings towards woman/femininity = gender." To me, you can't say that gender and sex are different, but then use the different words interchangeably. I think most people don't make this distinction because mostly everyone in the community knows what they are talking about. Like if someone refers to a snake being poisonous when, in actually, that's not correct, they're venomous. But we know what they meant. Sorry for the long rant, but I always wondered that too. However, I think the only exception to this are transgender/transsexual people because many of them do do some form of transitioning and altering their body. So in that case, it would make more sense that physically they may feel more female/male.
@@ContigeseRevolution1 yh I agree with what you said, if anything I am skeptical of the "being able to change sex" part. Genitals and secondary sex characteristics aren't the sole determinants of sex (and even then, artificial genitals are not the same as natural ones). Chromosomes and gametes are essential to our definition of sex and as of now those can't be changed. I do still think that someone's sex does not invalidate their gender identity.
So I'm trying to eradicate whatever remains of "yer dad" in my thinking, and something I'm finding helpful is deliberately changing the language I use. For example, saying "she is a woman" instead of "she identifies as a woman" when referring to a trans woman. Sharing this in case others find it valuable info
That’s for not being yer dad 😂 it can be frustrating as a trans person when you see things like ‘women and trans women’ or ‘people who identify as (x)’ - just as old and young, black and white, tall and short are just adjectives so is trans. Being trans does not erase someone’s gender. If you want an even more nuanced idea of trans identity, you should check out Contra points, a trans woman’s, videos on trans identity and rights. It’s amazing to see cis people who really care about not being yer dad.
@@jamiel6005 would you mind explaining to me the "I don't have a problem with it, people should be able to do what they like" statement being one of pretending trans people don't exist? Is it cause its not something you "like to do" but its who you "actually are"? (I mean, is it the wording?- should I be saying "... People should be able to be who they are"?) Trying to understand it and what better than to ask someone that looks willing to explain
Juan I’d say that rephrasing is much better! Being trans is not about doing something, it’s not a choice or an action, it’s about who we are. Deep down, saying people should do what they want in relation to trans issues implies that you don’t really think that they need to present in their way or transition, or that they really are the gender that they are, but that they’re just people who fancy dressing up and changing their name. I think a good channel that explains trans issues is Contra Points if you want more details.
My son is 14 and transgender and i embrace his journey every day and cannot wait to see his transformation when he gets testosterone and all the other good stuff.. So proud and so excited for his amazing journey 🙏 ❤️
I think it aged quite wonderful. I mean think of all the wholesome trans jokes we've missed out on if it weren't for that statement :3 We need more wholesome trans jokes!
this was the video that made me shift my perspective on trans people. funny how abby realized she was trans since making this, and i realized i was trans since watching it.
People aren't born trans, it's a change in the mind that makes them trans. So she wasn't trans all along but became trans. So at that point she (or he depending on how you would perceive grammar) was cis and later became trans.
@@enriktigasna No, she was trans the whole time. Evidence shows that the brains of trains people are most like the gender they identify as, and your brain doesn't magically transform. Stop speaking for trans people when you clearly don't know what the fuck you are talking about.
I absolutely adore her, but I think the performative aspect can be a bit off-putting for the kinds of people that perhaps need to be educated by her the most. I can imagine anyone even remotely transphobic starting most of her videos and just noping straight out. I hope I am wrong though, she really is one of the best.
As a trans woman who's had a lot of people ask me "How do you know," ESPECIALLY when I was a teenager, thank you so much for clarifying that it isn't that simple of a question. In my case, there isn't a reason I'm a woman, I just. Am a woman. So many people fail to see that, so seriously. Thank you, so much.
i saw the social constructs video on this channel first, and then this one came up in my recommended, and i legit thought this was like a joint owned channel for a minute until i read the pinned comment absolutely incredible and inspiring transition, and thank you for the philosophy lesson
It's a bit strange to come back and see this video again now, having transitioned! I suppose it makes a lot more sense in hindsight why I was so interested in these ideas!
A lot of people have messaged me in the years since I made the video saying they got a lot out of it, and the philosophy is still quite interesting and useful so I'll be leaving it up. I suppose there's always more to learn, both about philosophy and oneself! XXx
❤❤❤
You will always be amazing, and you will have always been amazing. Stay great, Abigail.
♥♥♥♥ The lies already start at 0:50, how can we believe anything else you say? 😉 ♥♥♥♥
Philosophy me mommy.
that aged like milk and wine at the same time
"I'm actually incapable of being an expert on it." Abigail, I applaud the lengths you have gone to become an expert on this topic.
taking estrogen to really learn what it’s like for trans people
This is the best comment ever 😂
this killed me lmao
The absolute dedication
she really understood the assignment
"I should say upfront that I am cisgender"
I'm not sure about that one past Abi
"well that was a fucking lie"
Oof
She'd been performing so thoroughly for so long, she managed something akin to convincing herSELF of her cisness. 😢😢😭
(As I wrote that, I remembered reading that the Wachowski sisters had initially wanted to include a trans character in The Matrix, and have their transness represented by having an actor of the appropriate gender portray their in-Matrix "Residual Self-Image;" a concept that fascinated me the SECOND I wrapped my head around it (which WASN'T the second Morpheus spoke the phrase, but thankfully the rest of that scene does a great job of explaining/hand-holding), and for which I gained a new appreciation when slightly later I became aware of trans people and had the notion of transness explained/cleared up for me.)
Legit question, if a trans person changes their name after transitioning, when you refer to them in the past tense, as their name then or now?
@@joewilson3575 Use our new names not deadnames
This was Abigail's "I'm not trans I'm just a *really* passionate ally" moment
LMAOOO
Everyone has one at some point.
Yeah... I had a few of those before I came out to myself!
I am currently in that phase
@@GetmanTheGod same, come back every once in a while and keep me updated on your trans journey and I'll do the same :)
TRIGGERED Internet Philosopher gets REKED by her FUTURE SELF with FACTS and LOGIC (not clickbait)!!!!
ABIGAIL THORN OWNS 2018 PHILOSOPHY TUBE
LAMAO
@OG Master Cuz 2 Who? Abigail? She's literally trans
@OG Master Cuz 2 You're misgendering her right now
And in what way has she been transphobic?
@OG Master Cuz 2 Giving textbook definitions isn't helpful if you can't explain how anything Abigail has ever said here fits those definitions. You claimed she's transphobic, so the burden of proof is on you. It's also interesting you continue to misgender her, even after this was pointed out to you... hmm, it would appear that the transphobic one was you all along.
"I should say up front that I am cisgender"
ⓘ 𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴
🤦♂
@@thedudeontheinternet
Lol I’m enjoying all of these
@@dysmissme7343 yeah every video is a masterpiece
Yep
*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA
"oh yeah, i'm just a big ally"
famous last words
Yep. She's really just a big Abby.
ah yes, i remember when i was "just a big ally" too 🤦♀️ i guess its kind of a universal trans experience at this point
jeez y'all making me question if im trans or not
Abi, two years ago, talking about trans people: “I just think they’re neat!”
@@kettlefleet829 same here... A month later and I'm still questioning myself ;-;
0:50
“I am cisgender”
Reminds me of when I went to an LGBTQ+ club and said, “I’m cis female, but you can use whatever pronouns. I do not care.”
It was right there, and I didn’t see it.
omg
Reminds me of when I said, "I'm not trans, but I've always felt uncomfortable about my gender." 🤦♀
Reminds me when i looked into what transgender and gender identity mean and thought "I'm afab but i don't feel like a woman, I guess some cisgenders feel that too." Then lurked around trans community cause i thought they were lovely, accepting and amazing people and then one day was like
"Oh"
I identify as a cis male, but I don't really care for gender as a concept at all.
Am I agender? Maybe, IDK, I just don't really care enough to identify as it. I'm fine with he/him and, in the absence of actually experiencing gender dysphoria, I don't care to take any steps.
@@alansmithee419 kinda how i feel right now but I'm a cis 'woman' but I've heard trans people say you don't have to have experienced gender-dysphoria to be trans,
Finally a cis person who knows what they're talking about.
Edit: lol
I’m sorry but I can’t stop laughing
I have no words 😂😂😂
LMAO
@@ashton450 that aged like a fine wine
😂😂That edit
"I should say up front that I am cisgender"
Narrator Voice: She was not.
Big Press (X) to Doubt moment
Egg moment.
Lmao
"I should say up front that I am cisgender."
Narrator Voice: "lol. lmao."
Big Nat moment
I'm not transgender, but I believe that this philosophy can be applied to many other things.
I have ADHD and my inability to focus means that I if I'm listening to someone, I lose my attention and ask again and again. (I had to rewind this video 3 times at places)
And when people talk to me and think that I'm not interested in talking, or just deliberately trying to piss them off, I have no other proof to show them than, "I just can't focus"
and that's the thing. you can't prove something to people with evidence if all the proof you have is, "I just am."
But you can test people's ability to focus by testing them under controlled conditions. Give the test subjects rewards if they successfully focus on things, and then they have a strong incentive to do so. If a particular individual's score is lower than the mean by a statistically significant amount, you can state with some level of confidence that the individual has a lower ability to focus.
I have adhd and when I act like a total dumb nugget like today I put jeans on top of my Pajama pant a wore them the the whole day and if someone tells me to go get something I often forget on the spot then have to retrace my steps.
@@omp199 I take it that what you're getting at here is that since a trans person can't take a quantifiable test to "prove" they're trans, it's not a "real" thing the same way ADHD is. But there's tons of conditions or mental presets that can't be quantified with anything beyond personal testimony, but that doesn't invalidate them either. Take chronic pain, or depression from my understanding.
@@incognitoburrito6020 Feelings have neurological correlates. Labels don't. If a person feels pain, there's going to be some nerve activity that corresponds to that, and with sufficiently advanced technology, you will be able to detect that nerve activity. On the other hand, if a person is genetically, anatomically, and functionally male, there's no nerve activity that can invalidate that label of "male" and change it to a label of "female". "Male" and "female" are labels devised to denote the two sexes. They are not feelings, and they have no neurological correlates.
@@omp199 Male and female aren't just labels, is the thing. There's all sorts of stuff about male brains versus female brains, but I think there _is_ a fundamental difference between most men and most women.
You're right that no amount of brain activity will change your chromosomes, but chromosomes aren't _really_ how we define gender. In cases where they aren't XX or XY, they can barely describe sex. When we say "that person is a man/woman," we're looking at their dress, their behavior, their speech. Their karyotype isn't involved. It certainly wasn't when we came up with the distinction.
I'm not trans, so I couldn't begin to tell you exactly what that's like. I also can't tell you _why_ it is I'm a woman. I just am. I do know that if I magically woke up tomorrow in a man's body, it wouldn't fit. I could check every anatomical box in existence and _something_ would still be off. Human emotion and identity is horrifyingly complex. Is it so hard to believe that some people were born with their brains wired that second way?
"I should say up front that I am cisgender. That means my gender matches the one I was assigned at birth, so I'm not transgender," she said, unaware that in three years this would be hilarious.
"Still cis tho" memes are a thing for a reason, lol
I found it hilarious
She? That’s clearly a male
@@pgood7266 you're clearly stupid
@@pgood7266 Loser
You didn't mention Abigail Thorn, she's also a great trans content creator!;)
👁️ C ⤴️
I'm melting from joy
This is such an underrated comment
with this many bot likes on a comment, "abigail" must have purchased a promo package! lol
@@legalfictionnaturalfact3969 why did you put her name in quotes
“I am not transgender.”
Abigail was extremely transgender. Protest though the lady may, there simply is no stopping transness.
"Sometimes -gay- trans takes time"
- Mr. Kim
I read this in the voice of the arrested development narrator
LMFAOOOO
@Johnny Hammersticks thats pretty idiotic lmfao.
@Johnny Hammersticks since cis means identifying with your biological gender, and trans means to identify with the other gender Your statement is the counter example to your statement lmfao. Jesus fucking christ please dont procreate. or drive.
“I am NOT transgender” that didn’t age very well and you sure got us very well
She couldnt find her crown is all
Well it's technically correct. NOW she is!❤️
@@Ray-9888 no she isnt
@@Ray-9888 excuse me no.
@@Ray-9888 watch this video
I was with a trans friend as she visited family who did NOT accept her as a woman. This despite her extremely feminine appearance, mannerisms, gestures, voice, makeup and clothing. They kept using male pronouns when addressing her and completely avoided using her name at all.
At this family gathering, there was a child about 7 years of age - my friend's niece - that kept scowling and fidgeting every time they addressed my friend. Finally, after about an hour, the niece finally shouted, "WHY do you keep calling her 'he'? Just look at her - she's a girl!" There was dead silence for about 30 seconds. Nobody answered the niece, they just stared blankly at one another as if waiting for someone to have a good answer. Of course, nobody had one. My friend eventually smiled at her niece and, changing the subject, asked, "would you like me to show you how to fold a butterfly out of paper?" and for the rest of the visit everyone referred to my friend as "her" and started using her name.
I couldn't help but think I lived through a live performance of "The Emperor's New Clothes" with a twist where everyone was claiming the Emperor was naked despite the Emperor being fully clothed, and only acknowledging it when a child finally spoke up.
> "This despite her extremely feminine appearance, mannerisms, gestures, voice, makeup and clothing"
Why would any of this make the person more of a woman? Why did you feel the need to mention this? You can have all of those things and not be a woman.
@@FACEandLMS The family was operating within the confines of cultural binary ideals of what it means to be "man" or "woman". She met those ideals, fulfilling the role to public expectations, accepted as a "woman" based on those ideals everywhere else, and they still refused to accept her. Until a child pointed out she met all the rules.
What you believe or what I believe about gender and gender roles isn't relevant to this story. Whether or not you or I subscribe to those rules doesn't matter. What they believed and their stubborn hypocrisy about it was the point of the story.
@@FACEandLMS It's less of a measure of womanhood and more of a show of dissonance. She looked, acted, sounded, etc, like a woman. Presumably if you met her on the street, you would assume she's a cis woman. She passes. There's no mistake as to her identity. The family continuing to misgender her throughout the night despite this is in conflict with this. The family was too stubborn to realize that.
@@FACEandLMS In all honesty, it is EXTREMELY unlikely someone would have a highly feminine appearance, highly feminine mannerisms and gestures, a high pitched voice at the same time, do female makeup and wear female coded clothing out of free will - and not be a woman.
Just name me ONE example. Only one.
And please not "this person has or has had a p*n*s - therefore I SAY they must be a man!!!". Because, I hope that is not new information for you, "being a man" doesn't boil down to genitals. And I say that as the biology teacher I am.
Children are so pure before adults teach them hatred 🥺
"what makes you the gender you are?"
to be honest, i'm not sure, but i do know that i was clinically depressed then, and am the happiest i've ever been now that i have transitioned. And for me, that pretty much all that matters
I think the funniest thing is when you ask that question to cis people. I asked a transphobe once why they identify as male. "Because I have a dick", they said. Okay. Then I asked them, if someone replaced their dick with a vagina, and gave them estrogen, would they be a woman? And they said, "Uh, no? Even if I don't have a dick I'm still a man.", which on one hand yes, can be seen as transphobic if you interpret them as saying a sex change doesn't change your gender. But on the other hand, he basically admitted that what's between someone's legs has no bearing on gender. Basically validating any pre-op trans person or trans people that choose not to have an operation.
@@bugjams Never ask why I identify as anything, I will bluescreen and need to be rebooted otherwise. I ain't even trans yet this question feels me with dread.
@Frankie ataraxia.
@@bugjams It also validates trans people have dysphoria. Because a cis man isn't going to want to cut their dick off and give themselves estrogen. Don't they realize a trans woman is not a dude if she wants to do either one of those things or both?
eat hot chip and lie What if they say "because i have both X and Y chromosomes" instead of pointing to their genitals?
00:48 "I am cisgender"
2021: *play Uno reverse card.
It's kinda funny how many people unironically go "I don't believe you're cis!" and yet is surprised when people go "I don't believe you're trans".
@@Google_Censored_Commenter what do you mean by that? I'm having trouble understanding your comment
@@zbdmo4914 Read it a couple more times then.
@@Google_Censored_Commenter The difference is that she has since come out as trans... Did you somehow miss that?
@@Deconstructonator Did you somehow miss my point? Yes, you did.
here we see abigail going through the "enthusiastic ally" phase.
in all seriousness though, its so amazing to see you come out!! this video actually really helped me figure out my gender identity and i still come back to it from time to time, its really reassuring and great! thanks for all your amazing and inspiring work u absolute (deserving) queen!!!!!!
I think I was also going through that phase when this video came out, then I figured myself and came out as trans about 4 months after. I imagine this video helped at least in some small part.
I didn't realize this was even a phase of things, but here I am now having just come out
@@laskyroo Right on- congratulations.🙂❤
lol i was that person
I was going thru this phase too
I too disbelieved who I was. In childhood I was incarcerated in a mental home for children and literally taught I was mentally ill for being absolutely sure I was a girl. Later I was taught I was evil, sick and perverted. It took me until I was 57 to accept that the lie was not mine. I’m living as my true self now. The hard part is erasing the behavior I used to protect myself from my own self loathing.
ouch!! 😿...
Are you doing ok now?
I wish you the best! You deserve to be happy
Sending hugs
reading this gave me so much hope, i know this is an old comment but i hope youre doing immensely well
"Before we dive into the remainder of this video. I should say up front that I am cisgender"
-Abigail Thorn
-lol says her future self. -lmao
1:19 "...and I am actually incapable of being an expert on it."
At time of recording.
@OG Master Cuz 2 what
@@kidsoto7187 A troll. You can report them for spamming or whatever else you fancy, after which that specific comment is hidden from view for you.
@@siotsoni9854 thank for the tip.
She should've cited her sources and asked herself about it smh/j
It is no longer surprising that she has so much insight into the pain and frustration of constantly being denied the right to one's own identity.
@@williamevans1708 Is it still surprising to you?
@@jethomas5 ???
@@zeenuf00 "identity" as in being trans stop acting dumb
@@zeenuf00 and yes being trans is valid. You're either transphobic or asking unnecessary questions for no reason
to me it's interesting when people are only "skeptical" about certain things. when i say i'm aromantic or i'm child-free, their response is essentially that i might feel differently in the future. and of course, we can't be 100% certain about anything in the future. but besides the fact that these weren't spur-of-the-moment realizations/choices about my identity and lifestyle, and for most people, they don't change, i'm interested in the fact that i have NEVER heard someone's statement that they DO want a partner/kids met with the assumption that they'll change their mind. when i say my favourite designer is christian dior, no one says "you say that, but you just haven't discovered the delights of nina ricci's dresses. you should be open to the possibility of idolizing someone else." this may be a bizarre and nonsensical example if you're not a designer, but that actually helps illustrate my point. skepticism is not a sensible response to a core part of who someone is, and these people know that, because it's their response ONLY to such things. or rather, their verbal response of "maybe" or "for now" is a mask for their actual, inner response: "i don't like that" or "i don't understand that, so it must be fake/wrong".
The world would be immensely better if more people were skeptical about the choice to have children.
Exactly! It's a complete double standard where failure to prove you're completely valid, natural, and real means denial of basic human rights. Would they ask if someone is endosex, cisgender, and/or heterosexual? No, because those are completely accepted and recognized in society and systems of government. Of course generally cis womxn experience greater sexism compared to cis men, also misogyny, but rarely transmisia.
This comment is really thought-provoking! Well done!
"I should say upfront that I am cisgender."
[Stares directly into the camera]
She's an expert now
@johnny-guitar Big fan of the pfp. You’ve got great taste, friend.
"I am cisgender"
Oh, you sweet summer child
egg IRL
This was her enthusiastic ally phase
@@mai-ya-hee I think most of us have had one befor coming out
@@thedukeofweasels6870 does that mean...that i am....😳😳....am i....am....?
@@iliasbaker3870 maybe but that's something you have to figure out for yourself. I'm not trying to suggest that everyone who happens to be interested in trans issues necessarily is trans. But if you find yourself compelled to explore the topic to an almost obsessive extent it may be a sign that your subconscious is trying to tell you something. I realized something was probably wrong when my life consisted of nothing but getting drunk and staying up till 3 AM watching transgender documentaries.
FYI: the auto-generated closed captioning fairly consistently replaces "transphobes" with "trans folks", so if you're Deaf or HoH and reading this video, it may be quite confusing. If I recall correctly, no instances of the phrase "trans folks" was uttered, so any place where one sees that, read as "transphobes" and the video should make more sense.
This video needs to be updated with captions
This would be confusing for anyway you learning English too
give Olly the good captions!!!!
omg
It's now captioned
Gosh looking at this video and just seeing the artist formerly known as ----- being 'an enthusiastic ally' definitely something I went through before I realized I was trans. Actually it was "I'm an ally I love trans people"
"Wow trans girls are so hot and uniquely beautiful"
"Wow does it seem like a liberating experience being trans!"
"Wait."
"Oh boy."
I love Abigail so much and it's funny though she came out like a good year after I did, judging by the timeline her and I realized we were trans about the same time.
oh "boy"
yup, same, massive ally. just absolutely in love with the community. can't believe it still took so long for me to figure things out.
"I should say upfront that I am cisgender"
should we toss that on the "aged poorly" pile? in, you know, the best way
Very much so 😊
More like aged like wine.
It aged like milk and became yoghurt
I dunno if it aged like wine, but it definitely didn't age like milk.
Whisky? Does whisky age?
@@timothymclean Scotch. It aged like scotch
Yeah well, if cis people want to wear whatever clothes and be called by their birth names or whatever, that's fine with me, people ought to be able to do whatever they please.
@Bob Bobbertson no
@Bob Bobbertson Serious question: when you call them freaks and fetishists, are you actually attempting to change their minds, or rethink their choices, or do you just enjoy making them unhappy?
So if I want to call a trans woman a man, I should be able to.
@@Diepvries11 You're not free from the social consequences.
@@iindiraa What consequences? Please enlighten me.
Who else here just vibing over her video history after she came out?
The feels. Go Abi!
Yeah! And I like the contrast between Metaphysical Skepticism (4:35) and "The man who isn't there".
Because transphobes say that transgenders don't "really" exist while in truth the man they think they see isn't really there.
Every dayyyyyyyy
Literally the first of her videos I saw was the death penalty video, so I’m seeing all these for the first time knowing she would later transition.
@@funnycat9962
No sweat! Welcome to the show!
I love how everyone is back here just to, for lack of a better expression, wholesomely bully Abbigail's past cissona
Thank you for the word “cissona.” I shall be hereby stealing it for my own use now.
@@Clumsy_the_24 I hereby endow you with my blessing; go forth, my child, and spread the word of the Cissona
@@teifan6674 thank you for your blessing, oh almighty power.
@@Clumsy_the_24 mom said its *my* turn to use the term as i still roleplay as my cissona irl
"as for my trans audience, you can take the rest of class off and go to the pub"
I'm sticking around, but I am drinking.
Shit, I already finished my glass of pinot but I don't want to be a contrarian...
sticking around until i hear him casually mention pansexuality. then i start drinking.
I'm a bit late, sorry, can I have a drink too ?
@@elinatural2058 McCallen neat, enjoy
Mm same
That “I am Cis” disclaimer aged poorly
r/egg_irl
Amazing how only "cis" men have the ability to identify as transwomen.
@@marksanchez7323 What
@@marksanchez7323 what are you even trying to say
@@adshille8987 Exactly what I wrote. The only people who can identify as transwomen are male. Female people cannot call be transwomen.
on the subject of why trans people might not want to debate their gender with you- it can be very mentally taxing. explaining to you why I'm non-binary requires diving into my dysphoria, my mental health, and bittersweet childhood memories, all of which are painful subjects that if treated poorly can leave me in a very dangerous place mentally. and spending years of your life arguing with people about something core to who you are leaves you with a lot of self hatred, and you can find yourself not trusting your own feelings. I'm now working on undoing years of self hatred and trying to solve my horrid intrusive thoughts, all while still trying to get through high school. if you're wondering why trans people have such high rates of suicide and depression, this is a huge reason why. so if you're genuinely interested in better understanding trans people, which I think many of these people are, keep in mind that this is a dangerous and painful topic for us and find someone willing to talk, and be sensitive to how you discuss the topic.
Great point.
Hey, great point! As someone who struggles with my own gender identity (I can't pretend however that my experience is the same), I am very proud of you for continuing to go on with your life. Ultimately, I can say that you are who you are, and that's not something anyone can or should try to control. Best of luck to ya!
Eyyyy good to see another enby out there! Just thinking of having to explain myself like that gives me major anxiety, and it's why I haven't done as much to express my gender the way I want as I would have liked to by now. And the truth is that I don't know why I'm non-binary; I just am. I don't have access to the kind of extensive research that is still being done and needs to be done in the future to help me explain what's going on in my brain, nor do I have adequate access to language that can correctly convey my explanation. I'm sort of just left with the response that as soon as I learned that non-binary gender identities were possible, everything clicked for me. I guess I could go into my history of never fitting in growing up, how I hated the division between boys and girls and it never made sense to me, and how the more I can perform gender neutrality the happier I feel, but that's about as much as I can explain. I hope your journey is headed in a positive direction and that you have plenty of supportive people in your life, because this shit isn't easy, especially if you're still in HS.
Idk what I am, if anything I'm agender (it doesn't really matter to me). Not really anyone knows it and I don't care how people refer to me so it's all good. But I was like that when I came out as lesbian.
I had the pastor of my church (that later kicked me out) try to get me to meet with him and his wife to discuss stuff. I'm much more comfortable with myself now but, at the time, I didn't really have any allies besides my college friends and girlfriend. My parents were struggling with it so I wasn't getting any support from them (I now do though!). Suffice to say I just flat out refused to meet with them for the same reasons you listed.
Wasn't going to change their mind and all it would do is make me struggle with myself more, which I knew is what they wanted to do!
I don’t think your sexuality/sexual identification should be a core part to you. I shouldn’t want to be your friend because I’m gay, and I don’t want to be like, no, not funny dan, non-binary Dan. I want to say cool dan or gamer dan. Non binary is a part of you but ultimately not your personality but your sexuality, which are very much separate. Make your personality outgoing and kind, rather than non binary and obnoxious.
Abigail: "I am cisgender"
Hbomberguy: *breaks down the wall with an axe* "just one small problem"
Love this xD
Honestly an underrated comment
My first revalation that trans people exist was in middle school. A male presenting friend of mine was asked by our yard duty if they wanted to be a girl or a boy when they were grown up. My friend broke down crying, hysterically yelling "I want to be a girl! I want to be a girl!"
We all knew at that point she was a girl. It explained SO MUCH.
God my experience is funny cause as a kid I was exposed early to trans people via the internet. Like, those transition comparison photos. As a kid I didn’t get gender (turned out I’m agender, ayy) so it was all foreign to me. I knew trans people existed but I couldn’t fathom it until I got older. Then as a teen realized I don’t even _have_ a gender myself XD
nie zesraj się robaczku Yeah, I guess you are
@@Lylybeebee how dare you show intolerance and negate my gender identification. according to Western civilization standards (or rather their lack) for insulting a sexual minority, you should be imprisoned.
@@niezesrajsierobaczku7414 I love how you think you're making a valid point when in reality you're misinterpreting the western world's more liberal view on gender entirely.
@@niezesrajsierobaczku7414 Forgot Greeks and Romans were straight white fascists... Oh wait
Bold of you to assume my dad stopped being homophobic
Good.
@@БайжигитКурмантаев-б9ж fun fact! Homophones are scientifically shown to have less cognitive abilities and are less educated.
But since those are big boy words, let me put it simply in a language you'd understand: u dumb
Jayden S. saying 41% doesn’t make you cool. In fact it shows you lack empathy a basic human function related to cognitive systems. In short your a dumbass and an asshole congrats
@@ashleyford7932 I didnt answer cause idk what 41% is. Can you explain?
Elfa YeYe 41% is the suicide statistic for trans people pre transition
"There's a big list of trans creators in the description"
Does your channel name count as part of that list now?
Not quite. Because the topic of Philosophy Tube is philosophy, not trans issues.
@@gewurztramina "list of trans creators, writers, and philosophers" would definitely include Philosophy Tube. The channel is run by a trans woman who is a creator, writer, and philosopher.
@@noellelavenza494 yea
I know it's amusing to poke fun but like, as someone who was a closeted gay until he was in his 30s... Most people don't understand what that's like. It's not "lying" or "tricking people." It's being made to untangle a mess that was thrust upon you before you can even know who you really are.
YES. Let people live. We all get to shift and grow and discover ways of being in the world that feel more authentic to us as we learn more.
I had a really rough conversation with my dad this Sunday, where he spoke up on my trans identify for the first time ever. And stated that "I could never be any other gender than what I was born as". It hurt so incredibly much. We had spoken for ages and I had done my best to explain my view of gender, but somehow he kept going back to that idea of gender being biological and set. I could not win. It felt like losing my dad. I just got recommended this video and it affirmed so many of my experiences. Thank you.
my parents struggled with understanding too.
honestly, I moved out, and I focused on healing myself.
It also gave them time to process a bit.
I was actually able to have a productive conversation with my dad recently (after 3 years), where I explained the idea of gender as a social construct in a way he could understand.
the conversation was only successful because after that period of time, he was open to learning, and I had come to a place where I had the words to talk on his level about it.
He needs the therapy but you may have to get it to deal with the hurt. Hope he comes around and accepts you for you.
Maybe say that yes, gender is biological, but in the brain. You can’t see gender. You can only feel it. Sex is physical. Gender is neurological. Structural. And it can’t be changed any more than your chromosomes can be. Trans people just so happen to have the wrong sex for their brains.
Also fellow trans person here. I get that shit is hard. Another alternative may be… giving up the conversation. Don’t invest too much into having someone change their mind if they’re not changing it after arguments upon arguments. It’s not worth it. Only causes pain long term.
Gender is not a social construct please stop denying truths however gender roles are a social construct
Despite being unable to see the pain of others, we still invented pain killers in good faith. Refuting the existence of trans people would be akin to saying all those who take pain killers are just drug-seekers, unless they could prove they were in pain.
That's completely irrelevant, as this video is arguing against a position of giving the medicine anyways, i.e. "let trans people do whatever they want". It would only be a valid comparison if, after giving the medicine, we were to sit down and have a discussion about whether pain "metaphysically" exists, or if it is merely manufactured by our minds, and subjectively disagreeable.
That has the seed of something clever in it, but the comparison you draw isn't perfect. Most cis people (I think) don't ever actually experience or question gender - hence the popular thought that sex &gender are one and the same. Only someone with a discrepancy between their sex &their gender identity actually knows what it feels like to be in the wrong body, for the rest of us the two simply meld together
That’s a terrible comparison. First, everyone feels pain, so that’s something that was never in doubt, but only a very small number of people are trans, so most people don’t have access to the experience of being trans. Second off, the sensation of gender disforia or feeling like a certain gender isn’t what is being called into question. It’s a matter of if trans people are a certain kind of person. I agree with you, they are the kind of person they say they are, but my agreeing with you doesn't excuse bad arguments.
Yeah that's a thing that's ALSO currently happening. The government is making doctors limit what medications pain patients can take, for how long, and what strength on the idea that one set dose can serve to eliminate the pain of all sufferers regardless of body size, injuries, illnesses, medical history, or how long they've taken the medication. They insist that unless you have cancer that your chronic pain isn't a real problem and won't be dealt with according to your specific medical history and your doctor's experience with you and that illness/issue but just with a one size fits all solution. Even though ACTUAL doctors have been telling them for a decade that's not how bodies, pain, or medicine works. They tell us that since we don't have cancer we must just be pill seekers despite all research showing chronic pain sufferers are actually the LEAST likely to abuse prescription pain meds.
i really like this argument
Philosophy Tube: recontextualizing earlier videos since 2013.
👉👈🥺 🇭🇺
I am writing a paper against LGBT oppression in the Christian community against my Conservative Christian Private school and I just wanted to say that, as a closeted person and a student, this video was super helpful and incredibly meaningful.
Also the coleslaw section was painful to watch
I envy your courage, I am also a closeted trans person in a Christian private school however I can’t even stand up for lgbt rights when teachers and pastors are being homophobic/transphobic
@@heycat6167 That's unfortunately a natural thing for most people, especially when it seems like everyone agrees with them. However, I can tell you now, as a college student, that there is such a wide world out there of people in support. The chances that a random stranger would be in support of you rather than against you are massive and positivity in the world is far more common than anyone can believe.
@@violetzhana yea
So, how did it went?
sometimes its important to realize that you dont need a mountain of evidence to prove the basic reality of your existence
I'm interested in this topic and I hold the second viewpoint in the video, of "let people do whatever they want". I don't understand some things about being transgender and I wish to understand so if anyone wants to respond to my questions then please do:
How do you 'feel' male? I know that I am male because I have XY chromosomes, but I don't feel male. I just feel like me, and that wouldn't change if I were female or non-binary. If gender is not biological and is instead mental, how do you define the male/masculine gender? Liking cars, sports and robots and guns? That's just stereotypes. A female can like that too. If gender is not biological, I'm not sure that I understand it. Although I understand that it's emotionally stressful to explain your gender, I'd like to understand in the pursuit of academic knowledge. Thanks for any responses.
@@peragens I agree, people should just do their own research instead of going 'Oh, you're trans! Explain it to me then, as it is your duty and as I, a cis person, am not obligated to find the information I suddenly want.'
@alice pereira Honestly you should never ask someone to explain something to you that you aren't actually interested in just to pretend to be nice and interested. Like the person above asking to have transgenderism explained to them. Even in just asking someone to explain they have already managed to be extremely offensive in the rest of that comment. Like how am I going to explain shit to that guy if he already has a very obvious opinion about it which he is not willing to change?
@@IO-gm5qw i'm a transman, ill try to answer your questions as best i can. gender is weird. I like dresses and makeup and frilly things but i'm still a man and i know transwomen who are very butch and hate skirts and dresses. clothing preferences and interest have little to do with someones gender identity. gender doesn’t really exist and it's pretty much what you make of it (if that makes any sense). so the male gender is whatever people who identify as male say it is, same with with masculinity. sorry if this was unhelpful gender is really messy and hard to explain because everyone experiences it differently. it'll probably be beneficial for you to read the trans authors in the description, they can explain this a lot better than a nervous 16 year old.
@@zoieholston4161 thank you for answering my question. I have done lots of research despite what others think. I have still not found an answer to this basic question. Firstly. Thank you for stepping up as a trans person and explaining your experience, I understand that it can be emotionally weighted. Secondly, if 'masculinity' is whatever someone wants it to be, then what actually is it? What is the point to defining gender? Of course biological sex exists and of course personality exists, but what, fundamentally, is gender? If I, as a cis male, enjoy stereotypically female things, does that make me feminine? I would think that this isn't actually gender and is instead just personality. Thanks for taking the time to explaining it to me, and feel free not to respond if this topic hits anything that causes hurt.
Abigail a few years ago: "Before we dive into the remainder of this
video, I should say up front that I am cisgender."
Abigail: "My gender matches the one I was assigned at birth."
Abigail: "I'm not transgender."
Audience in 2021: Lol
@Johnny Hammersticks nonbinary, agender, gendernonconforming.
There are many names for the the same kinda concept of not having a binary gender.
@Johnny Hammersticks If you want you could straight up not identify as either, yeah.
@Johnny Hammersticks well the "cis man" in the video went on to come out as a trans woman a year later lol
@Johnny Hammersticks
Not looking to start an argument, let me be clear by saying that -- trans activists may call you transphobic for saying what?
@Johnny Hammersticks like you don't believe in the concept of gender at all or you'd rather just not have it?
When I told my parents I was gay (and was still coming to terms with everything else) everyone was incredibly supportive. But there was... one... comment my stepdad made during the group hug. "Just as long as you're not gonna be like that Caitlyn Jenner guy, er.. girl..."
yeah so I mostly keep to myself.
Honestly, if they ended on "girl"... Well at least they're sort of trying
I'm sure he just meant that he hopes you don't kill someone in a car crash.
I mean, he didn't dead name her. so that.. like... a good? thing??
just look after yourself, and find friends who you can be open with. One day you'll have control of your own life.
Ugh parents. Good luck.
To be fair, she's quite an awful person for a whole host of other reasons.
I wrote an essay for school about how society needs to change to accommodate the existence of trans folks and used this as one of my sources- little did I know at the time that both the video's creator and myself were not, in fact, cisgender men
I was genuinely surprised at how positive the comments on this are, which is sad really. The fact that seeing positive comments on a video about this topic, is a suprising thing.
The fuck they ain't! I've been reading for 10minutes 10!
So much nonsensical transphobia!
@@brightsoull I guess I might be blind to transphobia at this point then, or just got lucky to see mostly positive
if you read the comments under the top comments or the newest comments you can indeed see *a lot* of transphobia. I really don’t get it how people can be so hateful against transgenders, they don’t hurt you with this. (If any transphobe is going to use the “fool into sex” argument it’s literally your fault and your desire if you agreed into sleeping with her in the first place.)
Instead of being supportive and accepting, nice and conforming people literally *DECIDE* to be like this? I think as a society we should be strong together - we don’t have to agree at every point but we need to validate each other’s existence, respect each other and be nice. It’s not that hard to use the right pronouns. I honestly feel fucking sad for transgenders, I would commit suicide too if I had to experience discrimination my whole life along for something that I didn’t freely chose.
please enter a name Just fyi it’s commonly seen as bad to call us “transgenders” as it makes the word transgender a noun instead of an adjective
Vic 2.0 a worldview? um, the scientific consensus is that trans people are valid. but deny facts, i guess
"So I am not transgender" *this did not age well*
The statement didn't, but Abi most certainly did
@@MotoCat91 In a weird way, that statement aged perfectly. I applaud her choice (and her bravery) in leaving this, and the rest of 7 years of videos, public. I'd be devastated to lose seven years of her brilliant mind.
@@marksanchez7323 is judgey as fk, and yet, still manages to use the right pronouns. Bravo, you judgey fk. Bravo.
@Ploo on the contrary this aged in the funniest way possible
@@HalfLight333 funny?
"Years ago, when I was an undergrad and I was 18, I was yer dad."
-Olly
We've all been yer dad; and honestly when I stopped being yer dad was not long before I started watching this channel.
@uberkogle Severely underrated comment.
*Abby
As a Mom of Transgender Daughter, I am proud of you Abby ❣️
I hope he gets well soon ❣️
i know I'm a year late but you sound so cool i kinda wish you were my mom
hope you have a wonderful life!!
@@autumn64fromdeltarunechapter3 🤗❤ I hope that you have THE BEST life ❣❣❣I subbed to your channel 🙃
This is so sweet! I love that nobody is taking the bait of the pathetic transphobe who commented. Sending everyone here love
Asking me, a transman, to explain a great part of me. Is asking me to explain one the most heavily debated things of all time. The Self. Which is already a lot to expect of one person.
Ok, boomer.
I haven't really thought about this in this way before. I'm going to steal this for the next time this comes up (as a trans woman)
I do expect it if you. I expect no less of anyone else, Trans or Cis. “It is wrong for anyone, anywhere, for any reason to believe anything on insufficient evidence.” William Clifford.
@@thomasbrown9422 ?????
Literally ok so if you dont understand everything about yourself you arent valid so no rights for you ?????
@@thomasbrown9422 ah yes, the 2 genders: Strait and Cis
I was a Yer Dad, all the way up until... I realized I'm trans. It's really common
Almost the same deal here. It took until I was 24 for me to be exposed to enough people to realize that people were just people, and that being myself was okay by extension. I figured out I was trans the next year. That pseudo-kindness from a position of comfort takes a long time to wear away to something real.
Same ; -; but I'm happier than ever now.
Same here
Something about fighting yourself just makes you a semi-contained asshole
@Bob Bobbertson what are you trying to say?
@Bob Bobbertson Do you even have the slightest idea of what the Frankfurt school was about? Your comment doesn't make sense and yes, I reported your for spreading hate and misinformation. How is being trans a threat to yourself or even to other people? There's studies a click away from you that show transitioning decreases the risk of suicide for the majority of trans people.
"would you really wanna eat an entire meal of coleslaw"
*You don't know me*
this comment was made by the coleslaw-loving gang
Coleslaw!!!!!
I would chow down on a full meal of coleslaw
id choke on coldslaw with extra mayo with a side of mayo on a mayo sea with extra mayo
This comment has big Bobby Hill energy
10:12
Abigail's conscious: I'll just use this egg as a fun prop, fits with the kitchen aesthetic.
Abigail's subconscious: lol
when I came out to my best friend, at first when he started with "whatever someone wants to do it fine" I thought he would continue with "it's your choice" but what he did say, which surprised me, was "like, if someone wants to be who they are that's great, and I don't want you to be afraid to do that." And has since shown that he sees me as valid.
He doesn't fully understand, but he respectfully asks me questions and sees me as who I am. He's a good friend of mine, the first person I really opened up to at my school, which makes me really happy.
So you aren't 'valid' until someone starts kissing your ass? I have to ask you about your sexuality and all its intricacies and constantly show support for you to feel valid? Give me a break.
I'm really happy you have such a supportive friend, and I hope that he has continued his support over these three months. Wherever you are out there, I hope you're doing well
@@YeahForSure99 I think you've confused "kissing [one's] ass" with "trying to understand the experiences of someone else." But that could just be me. Not quite sure why you had to be so hostile. Seems like maybe you could use a little bit of support.
What your friend said was the solution I was looking for... Thanks, I couldn't grasp a better alternative to "let people do what they want", and had been troubled with it for months. But "let people be what they are" is perfect. I needed a way to show I care and validate the feelings of the person without judging them but couldn't get it into words.
@@YeahForSure99 Have you never had a friend in your entire life? Last I checked, minus your overly exaggerated and edgy take on being nice to your friend means "kissing ass," that's exactly the key to being a good friend - supporting your friends. If you don't support your friends, then you're likely to not be a very good friend.
so we're all here after the coming out video right?
You know it
Yup
Yep
Yeah
Yup, pretty much
16:00
This reminds me a "debate" I had with a friend.
Abridged version:
Friend: transitioning is wrong, they should cure them rather than enhance the disease.
Me: well, the overwhelming majority of the western medical concensus is that transition is the treatment
Friend: how do you know doctors are right?
Me: are you kidding me? What alternative treatment do you propose then?
F: idk, I'm not a doctor
M: okay bye idiot
@Stale Bagelz why say something so controversial yet so brave
@Stale Bagelz Well seems like a lot of the controversy boils down to not having a clear consensus on what defines a gender, how many genders there are and what defines a man and a woman as a man and a woman.... (Many like to base it in biological functions unique to cis gendered people, and dislike that people want to alter the meanings of existing labels because they buy into the performative theory... then it turns into a confusing mess with all of these new labels for "non-binary" genders(Especially since most non binary genders seem purely performative, and frequently redundant... and the performances often don't fall outside of what would be accepted a normal for whatever gender said non-binary gender most often gets "misgendered" as.)
Throw in "trans" people who identify as such for reasons other than because they have gender dysphoria... (Some may be trying to distance themselves from some past trauma by trying to become a completely different person, some may have a pathological and unhealthy obsession with attention, or a victim complex where they adopt the trans label for attention or to be seen as a victim)
I think the first step to dealing with the whole trans thing is through study and mental screening of those who identify as trans to figure out why they've adopted the label, and then treat them as needed from there.... (Such as consoling or support groups for those who don't have dysphoria but suffer other issues that cause them to masquerade as someone with dysphoria...)
Point is, to deal with trans rights first we need to come to a consensus on what gender is, what it is to truly be trans, and how to prevent pretenders from using it as a political shield for personal gain...
Sure.
circular reasoning works because circular reasoning works because circular reasoning works....
There are ways to treat gender dysphoria besides transition. Transitioning is a cure yes, but maybe your friend thought the physical dangers (which there are you can’t deny that) made that method less preferable to a more psychiatrically charged method of treating the condition.
He might not have known exactly how you treat gender dysphoria aside from transitioning, that doesn’t make his point invalid.
Not everyone who disagrees with you and or doesn’t know how to fully communicate their argument is an idiot.
That or you made this up.
Lmao just watched this video and was like "wow this guy really gets it" just to click on the channel and be confronted by the least shocking revelation ever
Transphobes are like people who say that depression isnt real because "its easy to not be sad" without taking into the complex psychology of what the condition actually is.
@@marksanchez7323 Women in general already are a subset of their own class... the class of being human. Are you upset that humans are divided into male and female, because it makes all people a subset of a class they are part of?
@@marksanchez7323 terf
@@marksanchez7323 mhhmm using big words and complicated sentences thinking that would make you look more knowledgeable. give us reasons, give us statistics, don't rephrase what everyone already knows to twist it for your own purposes. come on now.
@@coolbanana165 You're confusing me with trans people. I'm fine with female people being able to define themselves free of males (including transwomen)
@Tailn O Wag my family in a nutshell
"put Daddy out of your mind"
I can't when you're looking at me like that
LMAOO
M e
Mood tbh
AHH SAME
I mean...
Now that you say that...
"I am cisgender" bold assumption Abby, bold assumption
"I am actually incapable of being an expert on it..."
FOR NOW. 💕
I'm rewatching a bunch of trans content I first saw a couple years ago, before I started questioning my gender in earnest [for the first time since adolescence], to enhance my level of understanding through a new lens. And it is so interesting how your path from hardcore ally to trans person is similar to my own & that of several other people!
I remember a loooong time ago, seeing this for the first time, I felt attacked by the "yer dad" thing. "Why am I wrong to just tolerate others?" and "how do you really know?" were thoughts I had back then.
But now, a little over a year after realizing I am trans (also after diving way more into ethics, philosophy, and politics than I did back then) I re-watched this; and man do I feel so much more differently about at least half of your video.
My old thoughts were there because they were taught to me, and because of that my conception of myself wasn't my own.
Now my thoughts, and myself, are mine.
What if tomorrow he says that it was a meme or for some reason. You'll have to call him daddy again
Even after watching the video twice, I don't see how Yer Dad is bigoted. I'm in the comments looking for an explanation but I've only found a few people who believe as I do. Oh well.
@@shineeis5657 I don't have time to re-watch it right now, but here is what I remember:
"Yer dad" is not okay with certain (opressed) people existing within his presence. He's basically saying that certain people are tolerated to exist by him if he doesn't notice them existing.
Then, does he really even tolerate them? and even if you see that as toleration, why do some have to be barely tolerated while others can exist without thought or opinion?
the different and negative treatment even when mild or seemingly harmless, on a great scale (many people being like yer dad) never allows the world to change to allow the oppressed people to exist in a non-oppressed state.
I'm super glad to see you were willing to ask others about this and your willingness to hear and understand others is a good quality. It allows you to form your own opinions more accurately.
Let me know if this helps at all I'm very tired haha
@@moe197 I mean, doesn't really change the idea's I've formed until now? but who knows!
@@Valdyr_Hrafn Ah thank you. I was wondering the same because when describing homophobic yer dad he said "as long as it stays away from me" but when talking about yer dad in terms of transphobia just said that people should be able to do/wear what they want etc. and I don't see how that denies that trans people are valid. I agree that not tolerating people in his presence is wrong and that metaphysical scepticism applied here is wrong but I can't see how that applies to yer dad essentially saying well they can do what they want I don't mind
I want to comment on Bettcher's comparison of homophobia and transphobia from "Yer Dad." I totally see the issue of homophobia often being couched in the ethical terms ("not as good as"). However, that was not my personal experience. I grew up in a family and general community that was entirely dominated by belief in a particular religion. To be brief, what was taught was that homosexuals did not actually exist, much like the metaphysical skepticism. In an infamous talk/speech/sermon given by one of the highest level leaders of the religion he says:
"To introduce [the subject] I must use a word. I will use it one time only. Please notice that I use it as an adjective, not as a noun; I reject it as a noun. I speak to those few, those very few, who may be subject to homosexual temptation. I repeat, I accept that word as an adjective to describe a temporary condition. I reject it as a noun naming a permanent one." -- Boyd K. Packer, "To the One"
For many decades, some covering my childhood and youth, my sexuality was treated as not really existing. So while I am cisgendered, I do feel a strong empathy with the struggle of trans people who have to fight for their metaphysical existence in the minds of others.
(I'm running a bit behind on my subscriptions, so my apologies for this late comment.)
There is a core difference in how the idea of homosexuality and transgenderism works. Homosexuality is something that descibes an attraction to the same gender. denying its existence is denying the entire concept existing, which is dumb... cuz we are discussing it. Transgenderism is claiming that saying what you are, or acting as you say you are, makes you that gender. This argument comes down to how we define what gender is. Do we define gender as factual or subjective... and why?
I'd definitely agree with you here, a common Christian viewpoint that I hear in regards to homosexuality is that homosexual desires are a "test from God" and everyone is "tested by God" in one way or another. What is essentially happening is a denial of the existance of homosexual people, the viewpoint boils down to "everyone is straight and should act accordingly; some people just have a harder time being straight".
It's this kind of attitude that make you realise how many self-hating gay and bisexual people there are living lies in very religious communities.
"Look we've all had these feelings, you just aren't trying hard enough to supress them" is how I've always read this.
@@paaperman Not quite. It's the same metaphysical scepticism in lots of religious traditions: there is no such thing as being gay or bi - just confusion due to 'same-sex attraction' (or the equivalent). In the same traditions, there is no such thing as being trans - just confusion due to 'dysphoria' (or the equivalent).
@MsMarian Rogers This problem goes in both directions --- especially in conservative eastern societies with a third accepted gender.
Look at Iran where former president denied the existence of gay people there ( and a death sentence ) Yet there is a massive amount of srs surgery ( including many gays).
What you don't see there is trans people openly gay post surgery which are the majority in the US. (Gender identity running counter to sexuality ).
i can't let go of daddy olly he is in me h e i s i n m e e e e
is he "daddy olly" or is he "yer dad, olly"
@@matthew4997 daddy olly is daddy
Anime remake of John Carpenter's "Starman" starring Olly Thorn and Theryn Meyer xP - it is our last best hope... ...our only hope.
Nah.
Remember, Jordan Petersen is daddy.
He is the only daddy.
3.14 Dragon
Peterson is Lobster-Daddy
Musk is Tech-Daddy
Eisner is Daddy of Daddies
or some such dunno if I got it exactly right
Transphobes look at glass and be like "ah yes, the sand"
Almost. The glass did actually used to be sand. Its more like one of those "real or cake" things. After the reveal, the cake is not just obviously a cake. It also was a cake the whole time. Transphobes just cant accept that they were wrong so they try to continue to insist that the cake is a shoe.
I love the phrase "ask three scholars and you'll get four answers"
It's axtually true though, many scholars will be like "well there are actually many schools of thought on that, some people believe x, which has a bunch of problems according to some, but what I bellieve is y though in truth It's hard to know for sure".
I've always heard it with "economists", but it works the same!
As a trans NB person, yeah, this video sounds about right. Unlike being pansexual, I'm not told it's evil and wrong of me to be non-binary. Instead I'm told my identity doesn't exist and I'm delusional. When people ask me how I know my gender, all I can really say is "I wasn't happy being cis, but I am happy being non-binary." I feel comfortable in my own body and identity, which I didn't experience until I started identifying as NB. So I can't give a solid "logical" answer because there really isn't one beyond my own emotions. I just *am* trans. I don't know any other way to prove it, and honestly I'm not sure there is one for me.
How do you know you have a gender and when you say gender how can you be sure others are talking about that same thing? Its all a tad abstract and human for my liking.
ayy, a fellow pan enby! honestly, that's probably the best answer you can really come up with when being put on the spot like that, like what else do people want us to say? "identifying myself based on my genitalia feels wrong"?
Ace360x .MLG what do you identify as? I'm curious.
@@eliseanderson5591 Is that important? Im genuinely curious.
I just dont. like being athiest, its not that I dont believe in a deity I just dont register it as a decision I need to make. I dont doubt that you identify as a specific gender nor do I think trans people are a myth or ill. Im just me and I don't feel like that needs to be categorised or defined
Ace360x .MLG that's fair. I was just wondering because sorting out abstract things like this is always easier if I can look at it from more perspectives- adding another lens to the scope, if you will. To answer your question, I think your gender is only as important as it is to you, but everyone should at least be free to express their identities.
As for myself, knowing I have a gender isn't really something I'm even passively conscious of- I identify as nonbinary because, honestly, more people know what that umbrella term means than they do fluidflux, which is more fitting for me specifically- I hardly have the mental space to even think about it though, most of the time. It only really matters when I see myself and get waves of dysphoria or when I'm forced to think about the toxicity of gender roles. When I am consciously aware of it though…
I guess it's like trying to describe color to a blind person. There's no real way to just tell someone what gender _is_ and have them get the whole picture, but among those of us with an intimate relationship with the concept, we just have to trust that we see it the same. Our words line up and our realities reflect one another, and it means something specific and important to each of us as individuals. It's concrete, but indescribable. Perhaps part of our obsession with labelling it is because of that- it's fascinating, and we all want to relate to each other's abstract feelings.
I might just be overanalyzing it, though.
The way one fits in their own body is inherently personal.
"how do you know you're the gender you are", "what does it feel like to be a man", "how do you know what it feels like to be a man"
bro i don't know. I just am. Maybe you tell me how do you know.
I've been jealous of men since I hit puberty. Jealous of their bodies, looks, voices, anatomy. Then I became aware I'm also jealous of their masculine names and pronouns. Of how they're perceived by the society as men. That if I dated someone, I wanted to be their boyfriend. I wanted that for myself. Thinking of myself as a woman made me feel sad and wrong (not because there's anything wrong with being a woman, that is, if you actually are one). I guess most men would feel like that if they constantly got categorised as someone they're not. Well, so did I. Transitioning was the only way to ease the feeling of jealousy and wrongness.
this makes me happy to see it wasnt just me.
>wanting to have itchy sacks
no.
Inserting my opinion that no one asked for: As a cis, straight, man, I don't really understand the idea of gender. The term, ""man" doesn't mean anything to me, I see it as nothing more than a label. From what I've been able to gather, gender just seems to be an arbitrary grouping of certain behavioral and physical traits that I have no reason to take seriously when my personality gives me a much better understanding of who I am. I say I'm a dude, just cause I'm use to it, but I don't see it as a relevant part of my identity.
@@crackpointfivelive9418 i think you'd only start paying attention to it once it was gone or replaced by a label that doesn't fit you. if you feel comfortable with it, then of course you're not going to think much of it.
imagine being forced to live as a woman. would you be fine with that? there actually was a case of a boy who got mutilated and somebody decided to make him his guinea pig and made his parents raise him as a girl. long story short he committed suicide.
that and the fact it isn't just about the label, it's about the body as well. gender identity is wired into your brain. i don't think it's possible for a cis person to understand what it's like to have dysphoria, but again - imagine if you woke up having a female body. as a straight man you could be attracted to it, but would you want to look like that yourself for the rest of your life? wouldn't you want your old body back?
personality sure, is important, but it's not the only thing that makes you you. gender identity also isn't about behaviours or tastes or roles assigned by the society. it literally is part of who you are. and when people refuse to acknowledge it and you have to take medications and undergo surgeries just to be able to stop thinking about how it doesn't match, then it sure becomes a big deal.
@@baizhuwaitingroom7057 That makes sense, since it hasn't gotten in the way of my identity I haven't noticed it's effects, as if I've become numb to it. I think I somewhat understand the dysphoria part (nowhere near the same degree and someone who transitioned gender, but still somewhat). Growing up I was effectively assigned an identity (related to the personality everyone thought I had not gender) that didn't match my own.
At first I was just afraid to be myself, but eventually after years of others telling who I am, I ended up forgetting my actual identity. I dressed in a way to hide myself, acted in a way that I wouldn't be seen or heard. The person I saw in the mirror I knew was me but never felt like it was. I don't know how to describe it, but all that came with some weird feeling that led a lot of self hatred.
It's not until I hit the absolute bottom that I felt the facade everybody put onto me died and the real me was born. I lost weight, dyed my hair, dressed in way "showed me off". I acted in a way that felt right, and just trusted my heart. I remember looking in mirror and feeling something I can only describe as "right" or "destined" or something. Like for the first time in my life I actually feel like _me_ me. Although during the pandemic I've seen all of that reversing and it's absolutely terrifying.
I do have a label I gave myself to represent what I went through, and who I am. Maybe this is what gender is to people; a title relating to a personal story or struggle.
If gender dysphoria is anything like that, I can't imagine myself surviving it.
Thank you for leaving this (and other) old videos up. For new viewers, it helps for binging philosophy on youtube, and there's So Much value in the channel.
Trans rights was, for a long time, a part of social justice I took less interest in, mostly due to my lack of understanding about being transgender.
Maybe it’s due to my own personal biases, or maybe it’s a genuinely more complex aspect of humanity, but I didn’t “get” gender identity in the way things like race and sexuality seem so easy to understand for me, so I had a kinda dismissive attitude about it, like “yeah, sure, whatever the trans say”. I was basically yer-dad.
But recently, I’ve been talking and making friends with trans people, and I started taking it a lot more seriously, wanting to learn about transphobia and TERFS, and checking my own biases on the subject.
I still have a lot to learn, and I’m still a white cis guy, so I’m not gonna pretend I’m some kind of woke authority, nor am I gonna pretend these are things I’ll EVER be done learning about, but I’m proud of the progress I’m making.
This video was really helpful for me. Thank you.
EDIT: I kinda found out I'm not straight during these months, so I'm just referring to me as a "white cis guy" now. Yay me, I guess :p
if i may, "transgenderism" is a term we don't commonly use in the community - personally i've only ever heard it used in a sarcastic manner to make fun of it (that's not to say that nobody is allowed to use it though, including your trans friends!) but to quote GLAAD, "This is a term used by anti-transgender activists to dehumanize transgender people and reduce who they are to "a condition."" so instead i would suggest saying something like "trans identities," "being transgender," or "transgender people." thank you very much for taking your time to learn, friend! :)
@chrisx
Omg, thank you very much, I’ll edit it asap.
@@XescoPicas no worries at all and thanks! :)
No one can understand absolutely EVERYTHING about a subject. Not even trans people.
@@gamermapper
Yeah, I know. I'd say I've been making pretty good progress since I posted that comment almost a year ago, for all it's worth ^_^
Nothing stressed me out more today than seeing you fill that plate with coleslaw.
I sympathize about the 'slaw. It just kept going. Surely he'll cut away. No... okaythen
you have a happy life
@@CocoaHerBeansness To be fair, it's _a lot_ of coleslaw.
It’s the fact he then added additional mayo... was that really necessary?
Thank goodness! Thought it was just me! I was distressed! And rather anxious...
I've gone from Yer dad to accept myself as a trans woman in months. It's been a wild ride.
I'm happy for you ❤️ good luck on your journey, you've already made the biggest step!
Best of luck with your journey xx
How could a trans persons ever become a " ya dad" that's some deep self hatred there.
@@ms.moreno8471 You'll be surprised how transphobic I was before that. Not as much as my parents but a lot, they did a good job in making me a horrible person and it's hard to change that. I'm still fighting against self-hatred and find myself thinking homophobic, misoginistic and transphobic stuff about myself. At least my self-racist phase didn't last too long and I'm only a bigot against myself, not others.
thats so exciting!! best of luck on your journey
I'm a 52 yo white guy, with two teenaged sons. I've always taken the default position of judging someone by the content of their character, and have taught my sons thus (thankyou Martin Luther King ). I realised while watching this, however, that I have at times, unwittingly, ignorantly, been Yer Dad (albeit fungus trimmed) with regards to Trans people and the problems they face. That said, I am always learning, and evolving, and I've learned a lot from this.
My journey toward enlightenment continues, but I'm leaving Yer Dad behind.
Thank you. 😁👍
This really warmed my heart. Keep it up!
I hope you know that this means a lot to me as a trans guy. It’s rare to see people admitting their past faults and actively put in effort to improve themselves. Thank you :)
Here, friends and enemies, is currently the only man I would ever refer to even jokingly as "daddy". He's earned it.
Yeah, gotta agree.
And how did I just now see that Olly saw and liked my comment! I'm all flustered now. This isn't right. I'm GAY, goddammit. :P
@@AzaleaJane ur probably bi, give it a shot (;
@@sadhlife don't do that
Counterpoint: Brian David Gilbert
I keep misreading “Philosophy Tube” as “Philosophy Dude”.
That would have been a better channel name tbf
@@PhilosophyTube hey it's the philosophy dude
@@PhilosophyTube New 2019 rebrand: "Yer Philosophy Dad"?
Waiting for philosophy boob
OMG YOURE RIGHT ITS NOT MY LIFE IS A LIE
I really appreciated the fart sounds that played during the TERF acronym breakdown
After all, FART is an alternate acronym for TERF.
Feminism-
Appropriating
Radical
Transphobe.
So you... approve?
Approve of what?
@@JackieTheCatfox nah I replied to the first guy, check his username
@@MacAnters Oooh, I get it now! LOL Thanks :)
To simplify, I felt like I was performing my gender most of my life. When I transitioned it took some time to recover from performing for most of my life. I no longer perform my gender. I'm finally able to be myself.
I wonder if she saw this comment
I was yer dad on trans issues from about the age of 5 till a couple years ago when I actually researched the science. Then I realized that I showed almost all the signs of being transgender and so decided to wear the label for a week and it fit like a glove. About a year after that I would say was the first time since the age of about 8 I wasn’t majorly depressed.
What? It cured your depression? Congratulations
Oscar Hade thanks and it wasn’t so much that transitioning got rid of my depression but more that the constant worsening social anxiety and awkwardness caused my depression
@casual complaints
Shut.
Up.
You're just wrong. You're misinformed and just bought into the first bullshit you read about trans people. Even though you yourself said trans issues are complicated, you're trying to reduce it to simple things.
Have you even watched the video? Because you're now doing exactly what it's talking about.
"If you claim you're trans and aren't going to go through surgery then you're not trans"
It's a FACT that there are numerous trans people who don't want to get surgery for various reasons. If you disagree, then you're saying those people are wrong when they say they're trans. You're simply denying their existence because of your personal opinion.
Even if that doesn't compel you, here's something. Trans people don't just fall between "trans men or trans women". There are people who identify as in between, outside of it, and more.
And again, being trans isn't just about your sex, it's about your GENDER.
Are you going to demand someone who says they're neither a man nor a woman to have surgery?
"and you can't change my mind on that"
So you admit you're biased and close-minded. At least that's something. Does that mean you will shut up since you're clearly not interested in an actual discussion?
@casual complaints The suicide, rate thing is purposeful misinformation, When you remove negative family opinion, and unsupportive FAMILY AND FRIENDS from the equation the suicide rate for trans people who HAVE transitioned, is near cis levels.
Stop being an obtuse chud.
@casual complaints Change yer name to idiot complaints.
S L A W
Pro tip: You can pronounce the C in Cis as a hard K so it sounds like Kiss and it is still good latin.
Are you okay, Ollie?
Coleslaw is good with almonds
Ok, and maybe its because I'm older but the biphobia I was used to when I was young was far more along the lines of 'metaphysical scepticism'- and that was in gay and straight spaces. A LOT of people used to say that there was 'no such thing', that you could be gay or straight but not bi, and if you said you were bi you were either a gay person who was afraid to come out or in denial, or maybe someone who was going along with trends or something.
I don't usually go in on being overly critical, but this kind of feels like an erasure of my experience and that of a lot of people like me. Idk, maybe you address it later on- just kind of rubbing me the wrong way now so I might have to come back to this later.
Aw. Did you have to use a Northern accent for the ideology tube commenter? Northerners get enough shit for sounding stupid.
once you were Yer Dad, and now you're Daddy
But who is baby?
@@sethorama4702
We all are
@@MrElionor thx comrade
@@sethorama4702
✌
@@DonPipirulando The only "cure" for gender dysphoria is transitioning, that may or may not includes hormones and medical procedures. The conversion therapies and such are just evil and should just be stopped, they do the opposite in fact.
This is probably the fourth time I've watched this video and every single time the disclaimer at the beginning just gets me. I'm so happy you came out, although maybe you should edit in a little bit about how actually you ARE an expert on this particular topic ;D /hj
0:48 - "So that was a fuckin' lie"
Every human being has the right to decide what their life means to them. If we don't own our lives, our bodies, and our minds, then what do we really own?
👏👏👏
Be cautious, or you might step in the land of nihilism...
@@ununun9995 is nihilism bad tho?
you do not own or decide for the government, if you want legislation to defend your identity, should they bow down to any identity?
@@heliusuniverse7460 I think it's lazy.
Well THIS video hits differently now. Still, it made sense then, and it makes sense now.
Yes yes yes
"I am not transgender."
They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.
@Johnny Hammersticks yes of course there are, what kind of question is that?
I'm a cis female because I am female and don't identify with other genders. I don't know how to explain it.
I'm not female: because I have female genitalia, because I menstruate, because I have long hair or because I wear dresses and skirts, I am female because I AM female. It resonates with me, it makes sense to me to define myself that way.
I don't have to justify why I'm female and neither should trans women.
Yes, I definitely agree and I really do feel like that our minds are *us*. Our bodies are just our shell and it represents our identity and who we are and who we want to be. Even if you have a gender assigned at birth, it’s your mind and you are free to change the shell as far as it can and people NEED to respect that. You are free to do everything you want, changing your hair colour, changing your hair texture, changing your breast size, changing your looks and even changing your gender.
So for the transphobes: when you change your gender you still have the chromosomes assigned at birth, if you change your hair colour and texture you still have the real DNA inside the follicle and suddenly you don’t turn a “hairphobe”?
just *ACCEPT* trans people it really can’t be that hard? have you never experienced any love in your life that you have to invalidate and hate transgender people?
but then what does being female mean? is it just a feeling? i am female because of the body i was born in, even as a baby i was female and i didn't have a gender identity back then (because no baby is capable of such complex thought)
@@Kiki-vc1xo i know there's a difference but terms like "female" and "male" are used to talk about biological sex, so saying things like "i was assigned female at birth" or "i am a female because i feel like one" makes no sense... i AM a female because of my body and i am a woman because i socially live like one
@@joulessss I kinda agree with you on the phrasing "feeling female/male" and what that could mean. I think this a conversation that isn't mentioned too much, but I personally believe that many people conflate these words with Man/Women or Masculine/Feminine. For the record, I'm a female but my gender is demigirl. Whenever I talk about my sex and gender, I'm very particular with using "female = sex" and my "feelings towards woman/femininity = gender." To me, you can't say that gender and sex are different, but then use the different words interchangeably. I think most people don't make this distinction because mostly everyone in the community knows what they are talking about. Like if someone refers to a snake being poisonous when, in actually, that's not correct, they're venomous. But we know what they meant.
Sorry for the long rant, but I always wondered that too. However, I think the only exception to this are transgender/transsexual people because many of them do do some form of transitioning and altering their body. So in that case, it would make more sense that physically they may feel more female/male.
@@ContigeseRevolution1 yh I agree with what you said, if anything I am skeptical of the "being able to change sex" part. Genitals and secondary sex characteristics aren't the sole determinants of sex (and even then, artificial genitals are not the same as natural ones). Chromosomes and gametes are essential to our definition of sex and as of now those can't be changed. I do still think that someone's sex does not invalidate their gender identity.
So I'm trying to eradicate whatever remains of "yer dad" in my thinking, and something I'm finding helpful is deliberately changing the language I use. For example, saying "she is a woman" instead of "she identifies as a woman" when referring to a trans woman. Sharing this in case others find it valuable info
That’s for not being yer dad 😂 it can be frustrating as a trans person when you see things like ‘women and trans women’ or ‘people who identify as (x)’ - just as old and young, black and white, tall and short are just adjectives so is trans. Being trans does not erase someone’s gender. If you want an even more nuanced idea of trans identity, you should check out Contra points, a trans woman’s, videos on trans identity and rights. It’s amazing to see cis people who really care about not being yer dad.
@@jamiel6005 I've actually been watching Contra for about 2 years now, she was my gateway into left tube™️. I'm so glad I discovered her channel
@@jamiel6005 would you mind explaining to me the "I don't have a problem with it, people should be able to do what they like" statement being one of pretending trans people don't exist? Is it cause its not something you "like to do" but its who you "actually are"? (I mean, is it the wording?- should I be saying "... People should be able to be who they are"?) Trying to understand it and what better than to ask someone that looks willing to explain
Juan I’d say that rephrasing is much better! Being trans is not about doing something, it’s not a choice or an action, it’s about who we are. Deep down, saying people should do what they want in relation to trans issues implies that you don’t really think that they need to present in their way or transition, or that they really are the gender that they are, but that they’re just people who fancy dressing up and changing their name. I think a good channel that explains trans issues is Contra Points if you want more details.
@@jamiel6005 ahh, that clarifies it. Thanks :D
Will definitley check the channel out, its a very interesting topic
every philosophy course should contain at least one dril quote send tweet
I posit that it's possible to teach a philosophy course entirely with dril quotes.
My son is 14 and transgender and i embrace his journey every day and cannot wait to see his transformation when he gets testosterone and all the other good stuff.. So proud and so excited for his amazing journey 🙏 ❤️
you're awesome for letting your kid be happy (in a world where some people REALLY hate that)
@@stirpiano im so proud of him thank you so much ♥
In the US, "yer dad" = "guy in a diner".
Also known as "That Guy" (who is usually wrong but people are trying to figure out how to politely correct them and failing)
guy in a diner? america truly is our wacky cousin
@@emmascanlon5505 I'm American, never heard of "guy in a dinner" but have heard of "That Guy". Must be a regional thing
Yea "Yer Dad" was completely new to me.
Yer Aunt / Uncle at Thanksgiving.
"Yer dad is not daddy. Daddy's something else. Put daddy out of your mind."
Okay Natalie. Lol.
'I am cisgender'
Well that aged horribly.
+++
I think it aged quite wonderful.
I mean think of all the wholesome trans jokes we've missed out on if it weren't for that statement :3
We need more wholesome trans jokes!
nah, it aged hilariously
@@frostflaggermus depends how you look at it.
@@gfox-ck5xx Ataraxia
this was the video that made me shift my perspective on trans people. funny how abby realized she was trans since making this, and i realized i was trans since watching it.
"I am cisgender,"
"I am incapable of being an expert on it,"
Hah, this dummy, doesn't even know 🤣
Took me 28 damn years to realize I was non-binary in spite of it being absolutely OBVIOUS. I relate 😂
@@bobthabuilda1525 44 yrs for me and a significant amount of trauma. I also relate. As the Smashing Pumpkins said, "time, is never time at all".
Abigail gonna peaktrans a lot of people
People aren't born trans, it's a change in the mind that makes them trans. So she wasn't trans all along but became trans. So at that point she (or he depending on how you would perceive grammar) was cis and later became trans.
@@enriktigasna No, she was trans the whole time. Evidence shows that the brains of trains people are most like the gender they identify as, and your brain doesn't magically transform. Stop speaking for trans people when you clearly don't know what the fuck you are talking about.
Natalie Wynn (contraPoints) has been the most effective for my education.
I absolutely adore her, but I think the performative aspect can be a bit off-putting for the kinds of people that perhaps need to be educated by her the most. I can imagine anyone even remotely transphobic starting most of her videos and just noping straight out. I hope I am wrong though, she really is one of the best.
Dark mother.
@@mr.lalnon5455 Fuck yeah.
Yea for me Kat Blaque and Natalie Wynn are my frickin life savers
She is a goddess
As a trans woman who's had a lot of people ask me "How do you know," ESPECIALLY when I was a teenager, thank you so much for clarifying that it isn't that simple of a question.
In my case, there isn't a reason I'm a woman, I just. Am a woman. So many people fail to see that, so seriously. Thank you, so much.
You ain't a woman.
@@ErikaBernLambda Screw you too, dickstick. I'm a woman whether you like it or not.
@@itsbluejayne4372 you go blue Jayne frick them
ItsBlueJayne y👏🏻e👏🏻s👏🏻
This is from a Nonbinary pal and
yEs
You ARE a woman and noting will change that!
@@ErikaBernLambda yes she is leave her be
i saw the social constructs video on this channel first, and then this one came up in my recommended, and i legit thought this was like a joint owned channel for a minute until i read the pinned comment
absolutely incredible and inspiring transition, and thank you for the philosophy lesson