A word on addiction, waiting for rock bottom & losing friends
Вставка
- Опубліковано 10 чер 2024
- matrix.to/#/#rossmannrepair:matrix.org
🔵 We fix Macbooks & offer free estimates. rossmanngroup.com
🔵 Send us your Macbook for repair! bit.ly/sendmacbook
🔵 We'll send you a box with a pre-paid shipping label for your repair! bit.ly/sendyourmacbook
🔵 We offer iPhone data recovery: bit.ly/2BDBX4G
🔵 We offer lab hard drive data recovery: bit.ly/labdatarecovery
👉 LEARN HOW TO DO THIS:
› In-person classes: bit.ly/classrg
› Beginner's guide: bit.ly/2k6uz84
› Support forum: $29/mo bit.ly/boardrepairforum
👉 CHIPS & COMPONENTS:
› bit.ly/2jaAOXM
👉 TOOLS USED:
✓ Soldering Irons:
› Louis' Hakko station(no tweezers): amzn.to/2cKkMyO
› Paul's Hakko station(works with tweezers): amzn.to/2yMvWNy
› Micro Soldering Pencil: amzn.to/2d5MWUP
› Hot tweezers: amzn.to/2yMvZsZ
› Atten ST-862D hot air station with bent nozzles: bit.ly/atten862
✓ CHEAP HAKKO ALTERNATIVES:
› TS100 soldering iron: amzn.to/2Gy1Fqz
› Recommended tips: TS-C4: amzn.to/33s3jpW TS-KU amzn.to/2QsKT36
✓ Preferred Soldering Tips
› Fine: amzn.to/2d5MgPn
› Flat: amzn.to/2JnsDBT
› GPU wicking: amzn.to/2w8chtB
› Micro soldering tip: amzn.to/2qUSFDh
✓ Microscopes:
› Microscope: amzn.to/2iLrE16
› Barlow lens: amzn.to/2yMKdKf
› LED light: amzn.to/2nzfPT2
› CHEAP alternative microscope: amzn.to/2rTlHbj
✓ Soldering/Repair Supplies:
› Solder: amzn.to/2cKkxUp
› Desoldering braid: bit.ly/2otflOX
› Flux: bit.ly/amtechflux
› Solder paste: bit.ly/amtechsolderpaste
› THICK insulated jumper wire: amzn.to/2rvtD0A
› THIN insulated jumper wire: amzn.to/2I47DQY
› Kapton tape: amzn.to/2yN0xuq
› Tweezers: amzn.to/2d5NBpi
› Blades: amzn.to/2ByWnvF
› Freeze Spray: amzn.to/2BySozw
› Conformal coating: bit.ly/greencoate
› Conformal coating curing pen: bit.ly/uvpen
✓ Diagnostic tools:
› USB amp meter: bit.ly/2B2Lu5W
› USB-C amp meter: bit.ly/usbcamp
› On-Screen multimeter: amzn.to/2jtgY9K
› Multimeter Probes: bit.ly/fineprobes
› CHEAP multimeter: amzn.to/2zjkg8U
› Bench PSU: CSI3005P bit.ly/benchsupply
› Phoneboard: phoneboard.co
› Boardview software: pldaniels.com/flexbv/
✓ Ultrasonic Cleaning:
› ALL MACBOOKS & CELLPHONES: Crest P1200H-45: amzn.to/2ITSQdw
› PRE-TOUCHBAR MACBOOKS & CELLPHONES: Crest P500H-45: amzn.to/2Qrnhf8
› CELLPHONES ONLY: Crest P230H-45: amzn.to/2QsckKG
› Branson EC cleaning fluid: amzn.to/2cKlBrp
✓ Desk supplies:
› Desk: amzn.to/2yMShdZ
› Chair: amzn.to/2LB8bUB
› Fume Extractor: amzn.to/2d5MGoD
› Work mat: amzn.to/2yMtlTR
› Outlets: amzn.to/2yNsZwo
› Gloves: amzn.to/2iUfumS
› Durable lightning cable: amzn.to/2yNHzUt
› Fine tipped snippers: amzn.to/2HGt4XB
✓ Screwdrivers:
› iPhone bottom screw: amzn.to/2yNwX8p
› Macbook bottom screw: amzn.to/2AKMdVb
› Torx T3: amzn.to/2zjtxxH
› Torx T5 amzn.to/2BLNDn4
› Torx T6 amzn.to/2B0XIfA
› Torx T8 amzn.to/2CpWp68
› Phillips #0: amzn.to/2AJaHhM
› Phillips #000: amzn.to/2yNqsCl
✓ RECORDING EQUIPMENT:
› Work cam: amzn.to/2QjHnt0
› Overhead cam: amzn.to/2eAH0oT
› Work mic: amzn.to/2WGIhzw
› Home mic: amzn.to/2xfampC
› Microscope camera: amzn.to/2icVQoG - mine is DISCONTINUED, closest one I can find.
› HDMI capture: amzn.to/2iyGcle
👉 Discord: matrix.to/#/#rossmannrepair:matrix.org
👉 Affiliate:
› Buying on eBay? Support us while you shop! www.rossmanngroup.com/ebay
› Rossmann Repair Group Inc is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com
👉 Leave a tip for us via cryptocurrency if we've helped you out:
› Credit card: bit.ly/postamessage
› Bitcoin: 1EaEv8DBeFfg6fE6BimEmvEFbYLkhpcvhj
› Bitcoin Cash: qzwtptwa8h0wjjawr5fsm0ku8kf40amgqgm6lx4jxh
› Dash: XwQpZuvMvU44JT7C7Uh6xHvkSadzJw9fMN
› Dogecoin: DKetsoCvwa2hF29ssgUA4Wz4hxT4kj3KLU
› Ethereum: 0x6f6870feb48f08388ee345cf0261e2f03d2fa310
› Ethereum classic: 0x671bfd61ba87edf6365c97cea33d66ba73645510
› Litecoin: LWnbTTAjojZQt68ihFJFgQq3cYHUsTcyd7
› Verge: DFumZ5sMhi3JktLQpsTVtV9xUt3zKDrcZV
› Zcash: t1Ko3FkphQYoQroQc8k2DVk4WKMAbmNR8PH
› Zcoin: a8QdvArHmdRYe1MjiqtP6jDNe6Z4JgnRKZ
Louis was tearing up towards the end.
I genuinely felt that.
Reach out to your friends, no matter what.
WTF i felt that too !
Clinton clawed an onion open.
Shit sucks for real I have one step brother that passed away already but he came back to life ( I can't even make this up ) he was dead for straight 8 minutes he still wants to drink and do all his other b*** s*** I told him dude you f****** died... and he says he don't care... I don't know what to do
I always ask myself: "Do you care more about your friendships or your friends?"
In other words, telling the truth to a friend to help them may cost you the friendship
In other, other words, do you care more about the wellbeing of the person, or only them being part of your life
🏅
And unfortunately it’s often hard to pick “friends”
I care about both of them equally. But you're right, your friends will always win every time as hard as it is. This is probably the most difficult question I can ask myself.
One of my friends is suicidal. She has been telling she doesn’t want to talk about it and wants to deal with it alone. I didn’t interfere in fear of being too pushy and losing her friendship. I now understand how bad it could get. Louis, your video was a wake up call for me. I cannot overstate my gratitude for that. I will take action. Thank you
The worst that can happen is they no longer talk to you.
Which, if they're dead.. they can't do anyway.
depending on the parents you may want to notify them, but this will likely piss her off, but as Louis said, if they are gone you can't talk to them. Listening can often be the best thing you can do. You don't need to say a word to be there for someone.
Help her. Last year I lost a sibling to this, and it hit us like a bullet train. Hell, I thought I was at more of a risk myself. I sincerely hope this doesn't get any worse, and that she finds help. To be a freshman in college and for him never to be, words can't explain. Have a nice day/night/evening, etc.
Be pushy
i have issues with suicidal ideology and a fiend to talk with is really hard but helps a ton as well
Louis Rossmann, humble philosopher, life coach, RTR champion, and part-time UA-cam repair channel creator.
😂👍👌
Cat dad!
...and a revolutionary 😂
I feel like I'd like to meet this guy IRL. He is ALMOST as bitter as I am 😂
And NYC real estate consultant...
Dammit, Eugene!
and soon 'the guy who changed repair industry for good for ever and saved millions of tons of electronics going into landfills'
Louis's therapy channel: Helping Louis feel better while helping to improve the lives of others.
Thank you Louis.
Louis "shrink" Rossmann
works fine for me.
"Cocaine is hell of a drug" ... now gimme some money I need to hit that crack pipe! xD
Not truly fair on Louis methinks. The head guru for a Youthline (phone-in) service once said to us "The people you try to help will do a lot more for you and your well-being than you can ever do for them. Although 40 years have since passed, I still reckon that is true.
As a recovering heroin addict of 6 years (18 months clean), I can say with fair honesty that most junkies will reject help until they hit rock bottom. However, only the addict knows when that is and it's almost always worth extending an olive branch JUST IN CASE. Its better to have your help rejected than to find out you missed your chance to help.
That being said, its never worth destroying your own life/mental wellbeing trying to help those who simply won't take it.
This is too true. My good friend Ben passed away last March and while I wasn't able to make amends with him before he passed I still think about him often and wonder if I would have gotten through to him before he passed. It hurts both ways knowing that your advance was rejected and when they die. It hurts even more with unresolved differences and thinking you might have been able to speak some truth to them. Stay up brother. The light is always on at the end of the tunnel. We may never hit the end but as long as we keep moving towards it in our recovery we will prevail. Cheers
@@bkae9672 indeed! Lost a couple of good friends to going over whilst on bad terms and it still keeps me up at nights.
Can only do your best to let it go and know that in their heart they wouldn't want you to dwell.
That is the thing with rock bottom, you don't know what it is until you are there.
You canno't help someone that don't want to help himself
@@z0mn1a I get the impression that you _think_ you have less ability to control your impulses than you _actually_ do. You can rebalance your life if you want to. You can create a balanced work/play schedule and stick with it for a couple of months. You'll be far happier and therefore more motivated to stick with it.
Real friends never lie or sugar coat the truth. If you see your friend struggling, you need to try hard to help them.
I appreciate your comment, it seems to apply to me at the moment.
Printed your message and pinned it to our Notice Board at work.
They might be angry at you but if they are a real friend they will thank you later.
There comes a point when that just becomes too difficult to keep doing. I would know I've been and am still going through it. I've tried to help my friend for over a year, have talked to him and tried to get him help and to get him to see that he needs it. He doesn't want to change and there's nothing I can do at this point to help him, tbh I don't even like him much anymore. If I were to lie to him st this point it wouldn't be because I'm not a true friend, it would be because I've expended all of my energy already and i just can't do it anymore. Especially not for someone who had lied to me about trying to get better and continues to go down a bad path.
@@pluggedcloud7180 It seems Song to Say Goodbye, Placebo was made for you
You can't help them. Period. No one can.
Hi Louis, please accept my condolences for your lost friend.
The fact that you still remember your friend and have always valued his friendship speaks volumes, Louis.
We are thousands of people around the world appreciating your work, your core values and your take on general life. This also speaks volumes about you :)
You are a lighthouse in many ways.
Kind regards from London :)
Luke
Well said.
Louis often says that he's not a particularly great guy and to not take him as role model. Well until I find a better one, you're not the boss of me Louis !
Louis is a glowing human spirit.
He still manages to see the good in people, this is a rare quality in this day and age. He is like a little beacon of light... enough to shed some light to show people better.
There is so much strength in what he does. Louis really is a honorable guy. He could go anywhere in the world and make people do better, it's his glow.
ua-cam.com/video/ZKLy6xfPHyg/v-deo.html
I appreciate your kind hearted words, and his as well. You're both very kind hearted people. Be well, live well.
@Katie Ellen Tu huh?
So much wisdom here. An addict is never really trying to convince *you* they have it under control. They are trying to convince themselves enough to convince you.
I came here to look for a simple repair and found the fix. Years later here we are discussing addiction, politics and our moral compass as people. Great stuff 👌
Amazing. You just helped me realise I'm close to rock-bottom. So glad I subbed your channel.
That’s a big realization. Do you have the support you need? Can we do anything to help? Wishing you well.
This is a good comments section.
I second Riled's comments. If you ever want to talk, my inbox is open. louis@rossmanngroup.com
I don't know what your struggles are but if it's drugs you gotta get out NOW. I lost my best friend in December to cocaine tainted with fentanyl and that shit is going around the whole country right now. The dealers know and don't care, I know because I saw his final text messages. He left a family behind who is confused and devastated. It's live vs death buddy, please get the help you need.
Hey I hope you're doing well and are thriving. Please reach out if you need to talk..
@@micahned hey can i ask is it in the uk?
It's scary Louis. I've lost so many friends and I've come out of a dark place myself. I'm hoping my current passion for learning pays off and I get another chance to make it in this life. I'm slightly older than you and sometimes I just feel like giving up. I'm talking serious addiction here. Every drug you can think of and as many more you've never heard of. I'm not like any of the other people I've ever used with. I'm passionate about computers, electronics and 3D art.
Man, I hope I make it. I just feel no-one will ever give me a real chance again.
Get to a meeting and get a sponsor you are not unique we all have gone through the same thing get involved in the program do your step work things will get better i promise.
Give yourself a chance too. You deserve it
Keep your goals front and center and you will make it.
If you don't give up on yourself, the world will reward you for that. As bad as you might have been, there are plenty of people who are even deeper into the quagmire and manage to get out through sheer force of will. You can do it to buddy, just don't give up on yourself.
You giving yourself the chance to become a better person is already a sign you're stronger than the person you used to be
Louis Rossmann: component-level board repair, enterpreneurship advice, mental health and addiction counseling.
I will be sober 2 years next month. When I hit rock bottom I was so entrenched in my addiction I had no idea how bad I it looked. I think the biggest thing that would've helped me get help sooner was if the ones closest to me called me out on my BS more often. Addiction effects everyone around the addict. It's a selfish disease that hurts many.
keep going bro
well stated.
Congratulations. Good on you man. I'm proud of you.
What do you mean be calling out your BS more often?
And, if you don't mind, do you have any ideas on how one could do that with an addict that is extremely, extremely sensitive to any perceived critique and reacts quite...
explosively.
@@johannesmajamaki2626 what I mean is I wish the people around me didn't worry about me being sensitive. The reason they're sensitive is because of we're pressed too hard our addiction comes to light. We will hide it and use it above everything else.
found for some soldering tips
stayed for the mac shit talk
here now bc this is a good video
That last sentence brought tears to my eyes (along with his). Appreciate the video
Yeah :(
7 years this September. It not only took me homeless and not having a single solitary thing to my name but robbing a bank that I finally hit my rock bottom. Addiction is funny because you never realize how bad it is til you do something so stupid and dangerous that you're finally like. Ok. I'm fucked up. How long have I been like this. Its only then and not everytime but then you see what everyone else has seen for who knows how long. Support from family and friends only goes so far and you have to be willing to put in the work on your recovery and rebuilding yourself bevasue you will never be the person you were before. Get comfortable in your new skin and accept you fucked up but you can fix what you fucked up eventually. Trust will never be the same the simple things in life will never be the same. You will have a weird disposition on a lot of things bevasue they might be a trigger for you or they just don't have the same feeling they did prior. Either way sorry for the rant. Those who are struggling with addiction. Don't be ashamed. Step one is accepting you have an addiction. Don't ever believe your family has fully given up on you beavsue I can guarantee they haven't and just want to help. Stay strong everyone. Sorry for your friend Louis and anyone who had lost someone to addiction. Cheers everyone.
So true.
It's refreshing to see such genuine positivity in UA-cam comments.
Some people don't realise how bad it is and some do.
Wise words
@@ian1352 the ones who do know how bad it is either have gone through it themselves or they know someone who has. Then there's the ones that say just quit doing drugs that the easiest way to get clean. It sucks. I was in active addiction for 6 years first with pills then heroin amd whatever I could do to not feel like dog shit when I was dope sick. I can't tell you how many times I heard those statements said to me or to someone I know. I was gullible enough to believe that I could do it myself when I knew I wasn't able to do shit myself. But with anything in life including addiction. Where there's a will there's a way. Cheers man.
I wish my friends could've helped me before I hit rock bottom twice. I always told myself I'd seek out help but never did until I ended failing when attempting suicide.
They all only came around after, saying they were surprised I actually hit rock bottom and subsequently ditched me which caused another binge that almost took my life before I pulled myself away last second from stepping out into traffic. I'm still not how I want to be, but hovering above rock bottom and trying to climb
Please for the love of god don't ditch your friends and wait for them to be at the very bottom, you might lose them completely. Thank you for a video that hit home like usual, Louis.
We support you, Nichard (I think it's Richard, unsure), either way the message is the same.
I really want to believe in my friend who has tried committing suicide and is addicted will change but he has not only lied multiple times to me and others about how "he is going to stop" yet keeps going down the same path. He doesn't want to get better, he has said it himself when he told me he lied. I dont want to abandon him but at the same time I can't keep putting effort into him forever if he's just gonna keep doing it.
@@ilycallen8767 his name's a play on Richard Nixon
@@pluggedcloud7180 The decision on whether or not to do everything in your ability to help someone can sometimes end up being a selfish one. People sometimes go to certain lengths to give themselves a reason to, after it's all over and done, and whatever the result may be, be able to tell themselves "I've done everything I could".
If your goal is to come out of this without regrets, (i.e., the "selfish" reason), then you might as well give up now, steel your resolve and cut ties. The person has said they don't want to get better.
If your goal is to save them, turn everything to 11 now: get them into rehab, get them off of whatever it is that has turned your friend into someone who lies to you and who is as self-destructive as they are now, check to see who the person under the addict is. If it's still your friend, keep going, if, after a proper round of rehab, if, after being taken out from underneath the influence of their addiction, this person is still telling you they want to go back, then, I'm afraid, the best you can do is... and I'm as far from a religious man as you could ever get... pray for them, because I have yet to find a way to help someone who doesn't want to be helped and is actively trying to sabotage your attempts at helping. But it is my belief that the one refusing help and refusing to get better isn't your friend, but the addict suffocating your friend inside.
@Nichard - keep climbing. I hope you find your purpose. It might not always be joyful, but it is there. You are not alone.
I have a friend that's made a large amount of poor life decisions, and I've always openly and unapologetically called him out on it. He generally gets very mad and says I'm mischaracterizing him, when I just say it like I see it. A few weeks ago he threatened to stop being my friend, and we didn't talk for nearly a week. Like Louis said, I'd rather lose him as a friend than help him carry out a fantasy that isn't true. At least then I won't carry his burden.
You can't help anyone tell they want it i know i am a alcoholic i have been clean and sober since 10/5/2010
In the end, it always comes down to this: "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."
- hiding things from people
- genuine sense of shame for what you're doing
- lacking confidence in yourself because of the decisions you're making
- finding yourself happier when you're not doing what you're telling yourself is not an addiction
Fuck... I think I'm addicted to unhealthy fast food
Yeah, life expectancy is really only rising because fewer babies are dying.
Ham, beef, and pork usually have sodium nitrate listed as the first ingredient... a literal poison.
You can only help someone as much as they want to be helped. For some people, rock bottom is their destination and they will drag you down with them. It's really hard to find people who want to change, and you can't force them.
@@chickenfishhybrid44 My brother went missing in Portland so I flew out to try to find him in tent cities. It was very dangerous but we needed to find him to tell him our mom passed away. It wasn't until about a week after I had to fly back home that he turned back up, with a severe infection in his finger. After talking to him, I can tell in his voice that he wants to move on in his life. Hope to have him moving to the Midwest soon. Get my whole family away from that mess.
There is a fine line between doing too little and letting yourself get used.
However, I think that doing a little more and risking gettig dragged down a bit is better than doing too little.
@@SomeoneYouKnow2671 That's on everyone individually for a certain person. We can't have a bleeding heart for all people or we end up with Portland and Skid Row. We have to help the ones who matter. The ones that give a shit about the rest of society.
@@chickenfishhybrid44 I find that the majority of people who fight for addicts don't deal with them personally, or live with millions of dollars away from the places they say need help.
This is how it was with me and my ex-wife I tried to help her for as long as I could until I finally saw that she was going where she was going no matter what I did and I had to let it go
The way you described addiction made me realize I am/was addicted to my ex. I was sitting here pondering whether or not you can be addicted to a person.. but you sure can: It's almost like co-dependency. And what really hit me that you said is feeling happy for no reason after doing something (your example was drinking) for a couple days. I realized, shit, I get a dopamine hit after talking to my ex. I crave it. I can't be happy without talking to her. Wow, this is a genuine addiction, as silly as it sounds.
I get the feeling that as much as this talk was for us, it was for you too Louis. Thank you for caring enough to share this with us.
Man this video opened up some old wounds, I lost my mother last year & I watched her killing herself over the years. I always wonder what i could have done different.
Lost my mom in the same way, almost 16 years ago, and I still wonder the same thing. Wishing you peace.
It's been about two years now since my mom died. We at least got her to stop the harder stuff but could never get her to stop drinking and she slowly wasted away. What finally did her in was a diagnosis of colon cancer and she just gave up wanting to live and died a few days later.
@@riledmouse4677 I hope you are doing well too.
The first thing is to be able to convince yourself it wasn't your fault.
I have depression like a zillion other people in the world. If I didn't have people who love me (namely my mom, dad, and brothers and my friends) I would've been dead a loooooooong time ago. Thanks for this video. Love your channel Louis
Keep them coming Louis! Love your videos!
verified
Hay you follow this channel I now you from Dhruv Rathee channel he said end of the video you also have channel but didn't check the time great word/Work knowing about Germany education system
Niggas in Germany
Louis, you are truly one of the most awesome people on this planet. The world would be better off with you as a world leader.
I am a firm believer of "In the end, a hard truth is better than a soft lie."
We are all hooked on something, thank you for caring for those that don't realize it's become a problem.
Dear Mr. Rossman , best post and most important you ever made . I’m happy now , didn’t used to be .
Hello everyone. I wish I was in a world where I didn't have to say this. I'm technically still a child (for a few months) and yet I know this all too well. I've almost gone to the point of no return with myself, I have problems with my autism/ADHD that I have only recieved help and not hate for. My younger brother hit rock bottom without us, his loving family noticing, and he's no longer with us. His situation was the opposite of your friend, he had everything in the world in his favor, besides being a teenager. (none of my siblings have ADHD/Autism). I honestly can't write anymore, and am almost at tears. Thank you for reading and help those who you think need it most. Have a nice night/evening/day/morning/week, etc.)
I was young and naive and missed some clear red flags (that were admittedly mixed among vaguely red flags that i had been seeing in this woman for years prior) and didn't do enough to take care of the mental well being of a cousin of mine, who never asked for much from me because i guess she could tell a little that i had a hard time dealing with her emotional, mental and physical issues because i just didn't have the spine or worldly knowledge to handle them at the time, or help her more with them.
She took her own life after a week of me simply being too busy to message her, and i have to carry that forever, it's rough, but the whole "R U OK" movement is just cringe, nobody ever says shit, you need to know the person, and ask about specific issues you think they may be struggling with, get them to answer and talk about real shit, dont just throw out empty epitaphs.
38 days free from fentanyl. Love your videos lewis. Great information.
Fuck yeah bro.....even if you stumble just fucking start again the next day and keep going. One day at a time
You still good? Your comment as 2 weeks ago, you make 50 dude?
@@andrewt.5567 73 days clean 👍🏻👍🏻
How are you doing Kyle? Hope everything is well for you and that you are thriving..
I'm from country where literally every family have someone who died because of alcohol addiction. The most painful is that in most cases we can do nothing. Also we can't forget that addiction is destroing not only one persone but often whole family, wife, kids, futher life (even when the
addicted persone passed away) is just hell.
keep in mind that alcohol and drugs not only temporarily reduce mental abilities, but also permanently kill the brain cells. They are basically vegetables, they can't take care of themselves. And in an ego-centric society there is no easy way to help: he is free to decide whether he wants to be a junky. What do you want if a person with Alzheimer disease who is not even capable of driving a car is ruling an entire 300+million country?
I’m really enjoying the increasingly thoughtful nature of Louis’s video topics. Not that he ever lacked too much thoughtfulness though
This video brought tears to me. I'm sorry for your friends Louis. Last year, my little brother commited suicide, for 20+ years, I used to try to help him, but I eventually stopped nagging him because it would cause troubles. I thought he would hit rock bottom one day and realize his situation. I still feel shame and sadness, I should of never stopped working with him. Don't wait, help and keep helping, I will always blame myself for giving up, don't be us, be better.
My addiction is wasting my whole day watching youtube videos like this and your indicators check all the boxes to a certain extent.
I was sad when my dad left to go buy cigarettes, but it's okay because Louis is our internet dad.
My dad went out for a corned beef sandwich - the sandwich came back, but he didn't!
I've known a few addicts, and the problem is I know some of them are good guys way down deep, but the addiction completely masks that
im an adict in recovery. im on methadone to this day. its not so much you cant help someone before they hit rock bottom. you just cant help someone until they are ready to help themselves (ready to at least try to stop doing drugs) the whole rock bottom thing exists because of the belief that a person wont want to quit before they lose everything. its not always the case but some times it is. but you will never help a drug addict stop doing drugs if the addict doesn't want to stop. i had the issue of asking for help but being turned away by family because i had asked for help before and failed. when i asked again i was turned away because ( i had not hit rock bottom) the key is you cant decide someone else's rock bottom. if someone comes for help you should help. not with money ect ect obv but ya. some people manage to stop on their own. some through incarceration but sadly others die.
This is a great pivot. I dont care about Mac computers, but I come here because Loius is smart, gives solid advice, and is a great storyteller. Sometimes he rambles, but I am ok with that.
I've been clean & sober for many years. In AA we learn that one can get off the down elevator whenever you've had enough. No need to take it to rock bottom.
Louis, it's hard to know when and how to say something. It's even harder to say exactly the right thing that the person will listen to instead of pushing you away. I feel for your loss, and thank you for your candor in sharing these with us.
Couldn't agree more. Thanks for finding the strength to be vulnerable and tell this story...it was obvious how much it's affected you, but I'm sure it'll help someone.
I’m a recovering alcoholic blessed with 26 years sobriety, I hear what you are saying. My rock bottom took me from being a good, head hunted chef eventually with my own business to being a street alky. Family friends would cross the street to avoid me as I staggered down the road stinking drunk and just plain stinking. I lost my first marriage, business and home and came close to losing my daughters. Whilst it’s true you can't help a person until they want it, I needed it pointing out to me by a doctor I was in need of help. It’s ok to say to a person "I’m here when you need me", They might fall out with you but if they are as lucky as I am they will have a never ending gratitude when they come out the other side.
Today I’m married to my best friend, have a great relationship with my daughters, my grandchildren have never seen me drink and I somehow managed to get my law degree. That took me into an entirely different direction from being a chef. I have a respiratory condition, not related to my alcoholism, that’s going to see me off within a couple of years. I’m OK with that, the doctor told me to get my affairs in order as I wasn’t going to make 40. I’m 61 in a month or so and I’m full of gratitude for what I have, I'm also grateful to that doctor who made me seek help.
A good and very important video.
Also counts for smoking, my friend lost both parents to cancer before he turned 22.
His father was diagnosed first, his mother couple months later. While the father survived with severely damaged lungs, they couldn't do anything for his mom as the cancer had spread throughout her body. Three years after his mom died , his dad passed away due to complications during a lung infection. Seeing our friend in this much pain during his fathers burial caused everyone to cry with him and give him hugs. Parents from friends tried comforting him and said he's always welcome if he needs a place to stay for a while.
Never have I seen so many young males (
I replaced my drug addiction with youtube and I hate it. I don’t do any of the things I used to do. I don’t work on my computer. I don’t play games. I don’t make music, draw, write, mess with my fountain pens, study, work on my many projects. I just work and then watch UA-cam. I tell myself to stop but then I find myself watching it or listening to another debate or call in show. So sad. But at least it’s not dangerous. At least it can’t kill me. Quickly.
The internet is dangerously full of instant gratification...
UA-cam, like the rest of social media is designed to keep you there for as long as possible. At all costs. They're run by some low quality, nefarious people. It's a good thing that you're aware of this and can take steps to turn it off and replace it with other things as needed. Like a good walk or a talk with a friend. I'm right there with ya, but I tend to try to make the tools work for me and be an active participant during high quality live streams from inspiring people, like Louis.
This is the problem with switching addictions instead of overcoming them. I agree it is better than something physically dangerous but you're still dependent on something. I'm not an expert but what I've learned from my own experience so far is that you overcome addiction but first recognizing what's wrong with how you are living. Second, visualize the life you want to live instead. And third, slowly start living that life instead of the one you are living now and grow into who you want to be. You didn't lose interest in your old life overnight. You didn't get addicted overnight. So it follows you won't grow out of your addiction overnight. there is more to it but I think that's the crux of it.
I hope your journey goes well and I thank God you have traded your drug addiction even if you're not yet where you want to be. It is far better to be fighting a youtube addiction than a drug addiction for when you fall into a relapse (oh believe me you will) the results are not nearly as harmful. I will be praying for you, Jordan.
@@xxrayyzz1985 that’s what I’ve been using it more for in the last few months. Those streams can get pretty long though. I need to make myself put stuff on in the background and start doing other things too. If used correctly UA-cam is a great educational tool. Like this channel for instance. But you’re right. It’s designed to suck me in. I know this. But I should actively remind myself of it. Best to be aware.
@@MisterRorschach90 hey dude. don't beat yourself up. social media addiction is real but these is a spectrum of severity with these things. you're not going to steal, empty your bank account, or ruin your physical health because you're a bit too fond of consuming content. just set yourself some achievable goals and work toward reducing your consumption slowly. you got this. reach out to me if you ever want some encouragement.
Take care of yourself too Louis, some of us love you like a friend, even when life is hard on with you, you still try to give us an advice on how to prevent the bad things you have experienced over the years. Cheers!!.
This story was a whole roller coaster that I was not prepared for.
Addiction is brutal, and my heart goes out to anyone who's had to deal with it, or seen a loved one go through it. Unfortunately, it can be nearly impossible to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Even so, do everything to help the people in your life who need it; try your best and don't let yourself have regrets later on.
I kinda needed this
$30k pocket dial ua-cam.com/video/MyZnKjFWrxo/v-deo.html
damn you look a lot younger in that video
Rock bottom is getting to the point you recognize you need help and ask for it. Yes. Sadly, death can meet you much sooner than that. That's life.
@@JG-fg1ye i had no time to get haircuts so i would keep combing it over and over and over with conditioner so that it would just roll back into itself. you can see circles on the left side of my head where it is curling back up.
the best thing i ever got myself was a home haircut kit for $25.
Well said Louis. Can tell he cared for that person cause it was getting emotional at the end.
Louis Rossmann, you are a treasure to humanity. Never change.
I'd like to add to this that you should also check in on your friends with mental health issues as well, particularly when it is obvious that they are going through a trying time. I know how miserable I felt as I was mired in a deep depression after my mother passed away, watching my friends post memes on Facebook about "check in on your depressed friends," knowing the place I was in at the time... and most of them didn't ever "check in" on me. Suffice it to say I've removed those people from my sphere of concern. But I cannot stress enough... if you know your friend is enduring depression, be there for them, too!
How Ironic, Im watching a youtube video about addiction when Im addicted to watching youtube
I feel ya
Man, sometimes I just reach the bitter end of content on UA-cam and it's hard to even think what else I'd want to do. I've had a similar problem with phone games, twitter, imgur, etc. Detoxing, going a few days or weeks without touching it, makes a significant difference. I've only managed it handful of times because it's really hard to will yourself away from the endless content, but something to think about
@@Dysiode Go outside for a bit?
Not sure yours is an addiction, sounds more like a habit.
@@shadowfax333 Some people like myself can get so addicted to wanting to improve themselves with youtube to the point where all that they are doing is watching youtube videos and not actually practicing self help
@@shadowfax333 you know what, imma limit my UA-cam time to 2 hours max per day and see how that goes. I have this weird thing where I know what the right thing to do is, but I procrastinate it untill someone tells me the thing I was thinking. I've been telling myself that I should limit my time of watching UA-cam, but your comment for some reason just gives me the motivation to actually do it.
Rossmann Life Advice is my favorite division out of the Rossmann Group.
Please accept my condolences for your friends.
I shall take this as the impetus to exercise my right to repair myself. Thank you for this timely video.
Thank you for posting this Louis. The more people talk about this, the more we can try to move our behaviours in a healthy direction. Love ya buddy.
Really needed this, thank you. Perfect timing.
Never could I have imagined getting to know someone like you; without The internet, without UA-cam, the chances would have been slim. Appreciate the content Louis, you’re a solid guy.
You are the only person who can go from a pure technical delivery to a pure philosophical one keeping me interested in both.
Hey Louis, I really appreciate you posting this video.
My step-dad John was an alcoholic for most of his life, and he would get really angry when I would call him out for drinking. We would get into shouting fights, and one of the last fights we had was during one of the presidential debates and I screamed things at him like "You're killing yourself" and "It's because I love you" among other, less-nice things. My mom divorced him and he moved out because he would try to start fights with me. I fucking miss him everyday, especially how he used to call me "Junior". He basically drank himself to death alone in an apartment he had lived in for a week. My mom still drinks and smokes everyday, and I can hear her cough anywhere in the house from my room. Growing up sucks, but Louis if you ever have kids or adopt I KNOW you would be a great dad.
Hope y'all are doing well. Take care.
I'm well on my way to hitting rock bottom in my UA-cam addiction. I can't stop myself. I tell my family I'm going for a walk when I really just sit on a bench down the block and watch Mac repair videos! Nothing else brings me joy! Please stop making videos before it's too late for me!
;-)
This is an extremely important video, and I wish it was your most viewed one. Thank you Louis
I don't know what to say, but thank you I needed to hear this.
There are a lot of them who were dragged to the pit and some of them really want to be helped. But most of them are just worried when they'll get the next score.
I've been dealing with alcoholics my whole life and this is what I have gathered from that experience. It's not that you can't do anything until they hit rock bottom, but I believe it's true that you can't do anything until they truly WANT help. Until an addict/someone suffering 100% wants help and wants to change, there's nothing you can really do for them other then let you know you are there for them and ready to help them when they want it, while not enabling the behavior. This feels like you're just sitting on the sidelines, and trying to help is not a bad thing but you can't take it personally when your interventions do nothing, in the end it is up to them to want to change.
Louis..you are right on..addiction experts say waiting till rock bottom is too late. You are wise beyond your years.
Who would have thought that Lewis was such a life coach type previously to this pandemic 🤷🏼♂️ great videos man keep them up you got a lifetime subscriber here ❤️🇨🇦
I don't think they always need to hit rock bottom, but people must want to change. If they don't want to change, you can't change them.
A huge one that I felt with substance dependancy was that everyday felt the same. There could be novel events but neurologically it felt the same as every other day.
Helping a person in a downward spiral is extremely tricky and a delicate balance. Sometimes all you achieve is push the person away and further down the spiral. Sometimes you get sucked into a spiral yourself. There really needs to be a clear realization on the person in trouble about their predicament and a clear desire to do better - only then external help can start to work. Given all that, of course - if the person is going down fast, you gotta intervene in some way, sometimes intervene hard.
I usually don't comment on these videos but I would like to say that your talking always brings a nice perspective on things and gives some relaxation. Good job and thank you
The logic behind 'letting' them hit rock bottom, is that they will not got better unless it's their genuine decision.
If an addict isn't ready to stop, they won't. No matter what you say, no matter what facility you line up for them. It needs to come from themselves. So rock bottom is a metaphor for an epiphany someone gets when they say 'fck this, enough is enough' and they mean it. Unfortunately sometimes it never comes, until death.
Well said.
This right here. There was nothing Louis could have done. The most likely outcome if he had done things differently would be the loss of both the friendship and the friend. There is no getting through someone who is not ready to admit their situation and to change it. If anything, pushing someone who is not ready can make the situation worse. If the person is in pain (and medicating it), confronting them might just add to their pain and exasperate the situation. The best worst option, IMO is to be their friend as best you can, and to be prepared to be there for them if they decide to seek help. Addiction is really tragic.
That is a bit misleading. When someone is genuinely at risk of death, you absolutely can make a hard intervention. Nine times out of ten it will cost you the friendship, but it can be enough of a shock to break someone out of an addiction. Sometimes hard truths are what it takes to wake someone up. I have an agreement with one friend that if it looks like he is going down a path he previously took, I report him to the police if he doesn't listen the first couple of times. It's not nice, it might make things tense and strained, but it at least has a chance of working.
Well then it's a poor choice of terminology. But various addiction groups genuinely mean only when someone has completely wrecked themselves and their life.
@@JessicaBiros I don't disagree that you should speak the truth as you see it, and tell them, potentially reporting them as well etc. But you don't have control over their lives. You are part of the data/system/environment whatever you want to call it, that will bring them to hit the metaphorical bottom, if they listen. But until they hit it, they won't change. No matter the jail visits, tearful conversations etc. I'm not advocating people not to try. But its not your responsibility, or a failure on your part if they go down, its gotta come from within.
Thanks for talking about this issue, Louis. You are wise as ever. I have spent this week planning the memorial for my most recent ex. After two years trying to get her sober, she never quite found a rock bottom she could work from. So I begrudgingly left her. She moved out in September and died last month, finally finding her rock bottom. It's impossible to know what more I could have done. I gave her every opportunity to get healthy, she just didn't want to do it the right way. This is a tough subject that we don't talk about enough. Thank you for sharing warning signs so others can try to get ahead of these issues.
I was a (badly) functional alcoholic for almost 5 years. I went to the hospital 3 times for Pancreatitis. That was my rock bottom. Thankfully my family was incredibly supportive during the endeaver, and I came out of it alive. Lost literally all of my friends except for two. Been sober roughly 18 months now. Lost a good friend of mine to a heroin overdose during my alcoholism. Life moves on, un/fortunately.
No shame in letting those tears flow Louis...hope you had a good cathartic bawl after that as it is all part of the healing process for your psyche. Thanks for sharing. Love from Ireland.
Enabling people is the problem. Actually helping them never is. Tough love is most often needed with addictions or rock bottom will be much lower.
And to clarify: your bottom point IS your rock bottom. So that's going to be where everyone turns around, so to speak. It's much better to get a kick in the pants that moves that rock bottom so it's less horrible than family and friends enabling you to sink far lower.
Just under a year and six months sober from alcohol myself. 19 years of alcoholism to which I didn't realize it had even become an issue until 2008. Years in and out of rehab (never staying the full length), friends and family praying I open my eyes, lost relationships, lost jobs... I tell ya man addiction is no joke for anyone. I don't know what truly done it for me but I just one day said screw it I quit. I guess the AA saying "sick and tired of being sick and tired" does have a lot of meaning behind it. I do have no doubt everything my friends and family would say to me did play some on my subconscious. And now even just the thought of alcohol gives me a queasy feeling in my stomach.
I saw my uncle's dead liever trough his eyes like a month before he passed. I have seen a lot of myself lately and this is a perfect prescription for a hard-to-swallow pill, really appreciate it
15:08 damn, that hit me like a fuckin freight train. You made me realize something so deep about my personal life.
An overshare, i developed a crush on a coworker who also happens to be a really good friend, i tried to force a relationship with her over and over, to the point where now she will barely look at me. She never told me how she felt, but i allowed myself to fall in love with the idea of her, with the idea of a relationship. I became addicted to trying to win her, but was always mqking the wrong move qnd further divided our friendship. The last few days have been about me accepting what I've done, and wondering if we will ever be able to be friends again. I'm 30, always struggled to find love, and fell for the first girl that was genuinely nice to me. I want to go back to how we were, before i let my emotions control me, but i dont know if she will ever forgive me, when i saw her at work last night, she wouldn't even talk to me, and when she looked at me, all i saw was hatred and contempt, even though all our mutual friends say she doesnt hate me, i saw it in her eyes.
@Jordan Whitecar Let your mutual friends know you want to apologize and that you're willing to wait until she is ready to speak to you again. Then do exactly that and wait. She's probably nervous about speaking to you, fearing it will start your previous behavior up again. Guessing at her thoughts (hatred and contempt) without knowing for sure is part of what made the mess in the first place, so try not to. Recognizing you screwed up is more progress than a lot of people make and further figuring out exactly why speaks to a high level of self awareness. You're right that she may never forgive you. It would be sad, but ultimately is her choice. Respecting her space and waiting for her to decide if, when, and on what terms to interact with you again is your best chance to salvage your friendship.
@@JanxAngel everyone in my our circle of friends knows, if she doesn't yet, i would be surprised. The last 2 days for me have been absolute hell on my emotions. Today ive been listening to linkin park "what I've done" on repeat for hours now, it's a nearly perfect song for my current feelings on things.
@@JanxAngel all her friends say she is mad at me but doesnt hate me, that she needs time to process what i did, as do I, and in time she will forgive me, those that knkw her best say give it 2 weeks. Which is perfect because her birthday is in 2 weeks and i got her the most thoughtful gift i could think of (i got it 3 weeks ago) they all say giving it to her on her birthday will send a message that i still care, and that im ready to talk if she is. I hope they're right because she is the bravest person i know, she's faced so much adversity, and struggle, more than 5 lifetimes worth and she's only 23. I will always care about her, even if she never forgives me. I've made peace with that possibility, but i still don't want it to be the case.
Thanks for your input, I'm currently amazed at the compassion that exists on the internet these days. I remember when the internet was a toxic cesspool of the worst of humanity, it's refreshing to see the compassion that i try (and fail) to exude irl.
@@jordanwhitecar1982 How are things now?
Now you know why he was so fast packing them boxes.
You got me at the end. Lost people as well. Former alcoholic. Almost died from internal bleeding and withdrawals. Louis speaks the truth. Help or get help. Please the world is better with you in it.
I just began the second decade of my life a few years ago, and speaking as someone who's had to deal with WAY more grief and loss than he should have by this point (suicides, drug addictions/overdoses, alcoholism), the thing that stops a lot of people from treating themselves as if they're at rock bottom before they are and being honest with themselves about their predicament is the anxiety of not knowing what comes after that, and whether things could actually get worse before they get better (if they ever do). They worry that a lot of their family and friends around them might judge them for coming clean, or that they might lose those sets of friends completely if they don't partake in whatever their traditional shared vices are. Everyone has a different upbringing too, so not everyone will receive the same support we'd hope for in an idealistic world, even in the event they do come clean. In the case of the friend I lost to suicide, their loved ones had been attempting to intervene, but the treatment programs they were given actually made their mental state worse and one day they were found hanging from a tree in the woods behind the facilities a month or so after they'd been enrolled. I've had a lot of conversations with figures I respect in my life and they've assured me that it's important to tell yourself that even if you had spoken up when you feel as if you should've, it wouldn't have changed the past, because there were likely others in their life who were also speaking up but not being heard. I saw you get emotional there at the end, 'cause that's exactly how I get whenever I ask myself those questions as well. I feel you, brother.
Also, I live in NYC and I need to get a drive fixed. Been meaning to stop by your shop. -From someone currently considering their predicament after watching this.
Respect your perspective on this. However, in my experience if the person doesn't themselves want to get better there will be little you will be able to do for them try as you may.
You will have the knowledge you tried, which can be helpful to your personal mental well being going forward, just understand that the results may have been exactly the same.
Recovery takes effort from the addicted not just the people who love or care about them.
My take : If you care, do everything you can to help a friend, everything you can, even if it is uncomfortable. You can then walk away knowing that you really did your best, whatever the outcome. You may get it wrong, but if you gave it your best shot, self forgiveness is easier. Knowing that you could have easily done more but didn't bother, is a lifelong scar or stain. You cannot resurrect a friendship with a dead person.
.... and by the time the friend is gone they will have wrecked your life too.
@@toddb930 How can they wreck my life? I have chosen to help or not to help, and to take the consequences either way. My point is that there are lasting consequences to be considered, not that you should destroy your own life, but that we do the best we can, that may be a little or a lot, either way we need to live with who we see in the mirror.
You are sometimes fucking great Louis. This is one of them. Really, God bless you.
Coming from an addict that has been at rock bottom and fought my way back more than once, Thank You brother. But I just don't see or truthfully want it this time. I love how honest and straight up you are though and will always watch whatever you put out until that rock bottom comes again.
It won’t even play for me. Hey louis hope all is well man.
Addicts lie. To them themselves and others. Can you help or just enable? You cannot know
My addictions were booze and depression itself. My rock bottom was an attempt. I have been recovered now for about 3.5 years and feel better than ever. I've often contemplated whether I could've received help or helped myself before the bottom. I reached out for help for about 8 years prior to the attempt. Dunno what it was about the attempt itself that finally shook me of my addictions that were killing me. It honestly wasn't facing death, I am still fine with that. I think it was just finally being so sick of that past failing way of life. Maybe finally realizing that I had the power to change whatever I want in my own life and decisions. Not a whole lot happier now, but definitely not depressed and not addicted to awful things anymore. Life is a fickle mistress.
Thank you for this Louis!
the phrase that "you cant help someone until they hit rock bottom" is that you cannot help someone who does not want help. and until they recognize this, there is no way to help them. This is what it means to hit rock bottom. Otherwise your just bashing your head against a wall. because you can help them, but they will just revert.
My ex mother in law once told my now close friend that "I need a beer to lighten up" and that I will likely warm up after a while. I thought that I had an alcohol problem because every time I went out with ex wife and friends, I would end a little too drunk and more often than not think that I said something stupid and kick myself afterwards. Two years after my divorce, I am realizing that I was just in a shitty, awful, self-loathing position because I hated my relationship without even allowing myself to see it. I do like beer: it is like coffee to me in that there is a flavor and nuance that develops over time, and I like to drink with my friends. BUT, I no longer have self-confidence issues when I am just enjoying time out with good people.
Don't wait to talk to the people you care about. I was vocal constantly and she was not on the same page with me. It never gets weird when you are talking to the people you love, that's what friends are for.
Man, I think we are on the same page here. I like beer, after this lockdown situation I started to recognize pattern and now I can clearly see that I have a problem. TBH I am not somehow ready yet as I am scared about my relationship and that I used this because of "dodging bullet" figuring out, that this is simply avoiding the problem in the first place and substituting my RL problem with a couple of beers and some wine in the evening. Anyway I don't think I will have withdrawal problems bc no heavy alcohol involved. Just need to get ready and I know this is bad to wait any longer but man.... I am scared
Thank you for this video Louis!
Oh my, with every single symptom of addiction that you describe, it means i have a very serious addiction to UA-cam.
Whenever anyone comes by I hide the tab, I don't completely enjoy it, but in comparison everything else seems agonizing.