yer killing me (cw at start) VENT
Вставка
- Опубліковано 2 лип 2024
- had to fix audio, sorry about that, it was so quiet ToT
im fine btw. im just ugh sometimes.
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no this doesnt mean im going back, i just like to be honest with how i feel, even if its just momentary feelings. This is a vent channel, im allowed to vent how i want no matter the context.
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I allow trauma dumping in the comments, please add TWs (if they need it). all comments are held for review.
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You DO NOT have my consent to reupload ANY of my vents, no matter what context.
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song: Yer Killing Me - Remo Drive - Фільми й анімація
Tw: Abusive cycle/psychosis episodes
I still remember one day when my ex-friend started to be arrogant towards me and another friend because we didn't invite him to talk on ONE specific call. He said we should have been more understanding since he has social anxiety, but:
1- Everyone in the group has a certain degree of social anxiety (plus I'm also autistic) and he was treating it as if no one understood how hard communication is;
2-It was just that one time. We didn't exclude him, we just specifically tagged another friend because we were making fun of their name and thought it would be cool to include them;
I discovered that after I moved away from this person, he started using an episode of psychosis as an excuse to act stupidly towards someone. I have paranoid schizophrenia, I have constant episodes of psychosis if I go without my medication, and seeing that made me furious. Of course we can say horrible things in an episode like this, but the wisest thing would be to apologize instead of using it as a shield for any criticism. Nowadays I feel happy that I walked away from that person, and I'm proud of you for doing the same.
You didn't deserve it, they caused you pain you shouldn't have experienced, people shouldn't use mental disorders as a excuse for their abusive treatment (if that sounds insensitive I apologize, I will edit it if it seems like that, I just dislike it when people do that (i.e act abusive) when it's not linked to the disorder if that makes sense?)
im so sorry you are still suffering from this :( i hope you find peace and feel better some day :)
hope you feel better eden