Complicated Grief after Suicide Bereavement and Other Causes of Death: Results from the HEAL Study
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- Опубліковано 24 лип 2024
- ”Complicated Grief after Suicide Bereavement and Other Causes of Death: Results from the HEAL Study” Sidney Zisook, MD
- Наука та технологія
Thank you for this presentation. My child died by suicide ten years ago and I resonated with everything said. Suicide grief is different and very few counselors/therapists understand this. Dealing with this was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but really facing it and doing the work also helped me get through it in such a way that I'm not crippled by the grief anymore.
Hardest thing is to have new goals. I have tried and done all of them. But I can't feal the meaning of this life after my fiance died. 10 years have gone by. And I still feal empty inside. Something is missing.
But i'm thankful for this video ❤
Thank you for this. My heart goes out to everyone hurting and grieving. The human condition can be brutal sometimes. 💔
It's the worst thing ever! I just lost somebody very dear to my heart suddenly (he died in my house, he was my best friend, carer, partner, son, soulmate all rolled into one - and he was energetic & stimulating & FUN most of the time as well. He was so smart!), and the loss of him at age 30 (I'm 48) has been just absolutely devastating & heartbreaking for myself & my whole family (including for my elderly parents too - as he helped me with them as well as I havent been well for years). His mum forbid all of us from attending his memorial too. Some people... 😞
Sending YOU love & hugs! 💝🌹😘
Thank you my brother just passed. And his grief is definitely different.
Mine too.. feb 2021 he was bullied at work. Was his location….
I am sorry but you cant tell me 20 weeks to heal this life isnt worth waking up for 18 months after I lost my son. I just wanna sleep forever. At least in my dreams I can still see him. This world is too much when you wake up knowing you failed your job as a mother
Your right. I lost my 29 year old daughter to an accidental overdose. It just took me down . I can't ever get over it . 2 years ago my idol my rock my brother committed suicide and now it's all I think about is ending my pain. So sorry that your going through this . This life this world can really suck.
@@lisasmith7530 do you have any other kids? How do you keep functioning? I am trying to get up and trying to get motivated to even get a job and that's damn near impossible. I find myself constantly sick or exhausted. I cant get energy or find the courage to even try anymore. Where do you live? And what do you do?
I lost my Daughter to a long battle with depression and severe alcoholism three weeks ago. I feel like I failed her at every turn. I love her so much and I'll never get over not talking to her every day and hearing her say "hey Ma" . She was only 39 and such a compassionate, kind Woman that suffered many hurts in her life that she didn't deserve.
@@oldonetwoable you realize that it was the bottle that let her form ams failed her right. Not you. I too am a struggling alcoholic. And my family is the reason I even try to function. The alcohol just makes life less scary. When I have the bottle I feel like nothing is impossible. Without it I can't bare the thought of being let alone getting up or walking and talking. The only reason I haven't just ended it myself is because I am afraid of hurting them. But aft the same time im no good like this so I try to stop and make it three or four days maybe a week than i fail and the bottle helps me cope. We use the bottle to not give up its the bottle that fails us. We wish that our mothers, daughters could help but the IS this darkness we're never wanna expose you too. So we hide behind the bottle. This darkness is consuming that we live in fear fear it may take you so we try to keep it contained. She loved you still loves you. Is standing there saying no I wanted to protect you I never wanted you to see or feel my ugly. You are the reason I kept trying. Never believe you failed her
I'm sorry to read this and the comments. I became a therapist after 20 yrs of addiction. I've worked w grief a lot and had much of my own.
I lost a dear friend yesterday. Not sure if it was suicide but it seems so. I'm sorry for your loss. Reach out if you would like.
My boyfriend committed suicide when I was 24... before that happened and since then I've lost more friends than I can count... my first brother died when I was 13 and he was 17.. since then I've lost to illness or accident, 2 more brothers, two sisters, my parents within 5 months of each other and most recently my beautiful 21-year-old grandson to terrible cancer. I have very little going on inside of me... unfocused and unable to move on.
You are so strong. I will keep you in prayer
That is just too much to bear. May you find a way to cope with such trauma.
I lost my mother last year to suicide. Now I suffer from major depression. I can't even work.
Hope you are ok. You are not alone x
I lost my lovely mum 6 months ago to the same thing. I’m sorry for your loss it’s indescribable pain ❤️ be kind to yourself
@@francescacaballero I'm so sorry. It's terrible, like a bad dream ::(
Have you found a way to help you heal? I lost my boy 2 years ago and I haven't yet
@@deerose81880 Hello hun. It takes time. I'm sorry for your loss. You never heal, you just cope. It does get a bit better with help. Yo have to feel the emotions to heal. I numbed mine with drinking. I'm on medication too. I have watched alot of youtube videos that have helped me through this. I'm now living in the same house where my mother did it with my dad, makes it twice as hard :(
So clearly and straightforwardly presented. Thank you. Very encouraging to see the dramatic positive results for suicide ideation.
I lost my son 21/2 mo ago and I am experiencing so many of these thoughts and feelings.
So sorry for your loss
So helpful, thank you!
Miss my wife died in September last year I'm guilt ridden depressed married 24 years will never replace her don't know what too do anymore losing my purpose 💔
Every day I wake up, I can't believe I have to get through another 24 hours. Its been just over a year since I lost my dad, but I'm not going through this for 2, or 5 or 20 years. No way! I can't except the loss. The only pleasure I get is I know when my elderly dog dies, my time will be up!
Megan More pls don’t say that I love you and I’ve never met you... I lost my dad to suicide in May last year I am ready to live again even though it seems impossible
I'm. 2years into a loss of a relative through suicide and I feel Like it was yesterday. I need help because I shouldn't feel like this.
Hang in there! There is help out there, Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255 or look up Open Path website, it offers affordable therapy options.
I added a message to you in the feed. Please take care of yourself. There is help out there.
Don’t say that bro think about your siblings your family
Wow until this shit happens to you you cant even understand. I walked out of living mothers day 2 years ago 2 years my pain is stronger now than than
Outstanding!
My 30 year old daughter died 1-2-2022 by suicide.
❤️
I'm sincerely so so sorry. I lost my Daughter 3 weeks ago, I feel the pain in my whole being, I know you feel that too.
Its interesting. Ive never lost anyone but many, if not all, these symptoms of grief apply to major depression. Many ppl, including myself, feel a great sorrow and loss of life itself, the deadness, confusion, disbelief, disengagement, I would go as far to say complete sense of exile and alienation to the world and reality itself. Nothing makes a difference, nothing to look forward to, happiness in others is bewildering and even taunting.
I suffer from severe depression with suicidal ideation plus my daughter died at age 29 then soon after my brother committed suicide. All I know is excruciating pain and illness from not taking care of my health.
Don’t give up , I know that we can believe the way we feel is reality , we can believe the things we tell ourselves that aren’t always true , emotions can lie .
Thank you for your honesty, knowing what your feeling is a huge part ,
With all good intentions, changing the things we say to ourselves and challenging them, moving your body , moving our thoughts helps , nothing is hopeless change is constant and possible.
You know what? You don't need to have any of those pre Risk factors to have complicated grief. All you have to do is lose an adult child to suicide. Your youngest kid, all you have to do is not know anything. Until after her death, when her husband filled you in with some of her behavior all you have to do is have 3 older children who have been around for her full 32 years and the faces on them is always sad. That gives you complicated grief. My daughter killed herself 3 years ago. It took me 2 years to even believe she was dead. Because I live in New Jersey and she was in PA, accomplished. Had her masters ran marathon's rock and ice climbed with her husband was an advocate in her church. Went to Africa and Peru hiking. And yet she left 7 letters to her husband that she felt like a failure. It happened just as covid with the beginning and she finished her internship and had just gotten a job. That was supposed to start in may, but she was worried that because of covid, it would never start, and it was not the job she wanted, and she stated that clearly in her letters. So complicated grief, I actually agree with you on the female gender. You know why? Because we're Mother's and we're nurturing and we love our children. I think so much more.
II can't speak my ex-husband he did not come up from Florida to her funeral, which was 6 months after her death. I finally let him know how I felt and my therapist said well that was 3 years in the coming and I was like. Yeah, it actually felt really good to tell him how I will never forgive him for not being there for our Older children, we had a long history. We're married 25 years. And the last 20 years, we were together for all of our kids marriages. And all the ups and Downs and the grandchildren and at the time when I meet with him the most, and the kids needed him the most, he just could not bring himself to be strong. I'm the one who had to work at planning her funeral and do another thing with her older sisters. And helping with all of the things had to be done. So her husband didn't have to do anything because he was so catatonic. Anyway, anyway, complicated grief can happen to anybody My grief is complicated by the fact that I don't believe she would have ever done this even though she had attempted it a few times when she was a teenager and doing drugs because she was so angry at herself. But 14 years have gone by since that point I think that put her at a risk to have a completed suicide because she was not afraid to die.
grief is not only after death
never had someone treat me so well so nice so happy fir first time and suddenly he is gone
he spoke of wanting to commit suicide before and last time i saw him cause he was found out of plan to be with me
i did not fight it i let go but she was mean to me verbally, in text and showed pictures threatening me that had people watching me
it has been very hard so hard i cant get over this hurt since 3/25/20 i found out am grieving lost all desire to live its very hard only my children and grandchildren keep me alive but its very hard
Tell us about the therapy in depth instead of a broad overview
My brother and best friend in the whole world shot himself in the head. It hasn’t even been two months and I still can’t believe he did it I pulled his ashes out of the box today and I saw the bone fragments and I’m in such acute grief I don’t know what to do with myself
Sorry for your loss