Understanding Defense Mechanisms: The Mind's Protection Squad
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- Опубліковано 5 бер 2024
- Have you ever said or done something you later regretted? Or felt like your emotions run the show? Our minds use hidden strategies called defense mechanisms to protect us from uncomfortable feelings. In this video, I explain what they are, why we have them, and how understanding yours can help you improve your communication and emotional well-being. This is the first in a series where I'll break down specific defenses, starting with projection.
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For me the most interesting defense mechanism is identification because it explains a lot of things happening in fandoms. For example when fans (of an artist, athlete, politician, business owner, etc.) defend their idol no matter what because their success & image has become a part of the fans' self-esteem.
Teens naturally used to be the most "guilty" of this because they haven't developed a full self yet. Good observation.
This is due to a well-known phenomenon called a parasocial interaction or relationship. Fans can't tell the difference between a loved one and an idol. Therefore, they need to defend their idols due to a genuine perceived threat. It's like seeing your mother (who feeds you) come under attack.
I suspect how they defend their idols is somewhat influenced by defence mechanisms.
@@soonny002 I’m sure this also goes for sports teams or sports fandom as well and probably is at least as strong and prevalent.
@@etamommy yes I agree. Gosh... Even politicians maybe. Yikes.
Probably any famous person.
Wow, I wish we were taught more about our bodies and minds in school.
I didn't know about intellectualizing emotions, or that it's a coping mechanism. That's going to be a hard lesson.
You're videos just keep getting better and better and BETTER every time I see it. I see the little changes and aesthetic upgrades and its awesome :)
Oh thank you SO much. I'm always trying to improve how I deliver a concept and my editor keeps trying to outdo themselves with each video. Thanks for noticing! ❤️
@@DrTraceyMarks absolutely!! Thank you. They definitely did their thing. I hope this does the work of capturing more people’s attention and teaching them things. This was great!
So true! Dr Marks' videos are off-the-hook awesome! I always learn so much.
For me, this is good food for thought. Sometime, my emotions are so strong, the urge is to put them out of my mind. Having this framework to look at the emotions, makes them a little easier to approach. Thank you.
It seems to me that the three defense mechanisms in each category correspond to fight (attack), flight (avoid) or freeze (surrender):
Primitive
1. Fight - Acting Out
2. Flight - Denial
3. Freeze - Dissociation
Neurotic
1. Fight - Projection
2. Flight - Reaction Formation
3. Freeze - Intellectualisation
Mature
1. Fight - Suppression
2. Flight - Sublimation
3. Freeze - Humour
Love the way you bring this kind of abstract psychoanalytic concepts down to earth into an easy and applicable set of tips! Big fan over here❤
I think I need to look into reaction formation a bit.
Literally just thinking of this. Thank you Dr. Tracey
I discovered your channel during the pandemic. Your channel has been very informative. It has helped with my clients. Very well done! Keep doing what you do!
The more I watch your videos, the more I love this channel ❤️
I need to watch this again!
I never learned so much about how my mind works in three years of therapy.
Looking forward to this entire series.
This video was very informative. Made some connections on why I was acting out using destructive behaviors.
You are helping me learn how to have a more joyous life by helping myself 🥹🙏 thank you Doctor 💕
Thank you for this Dr. Marks. I definitely need to learn more about these defense mechanisms, and how/why I use them.
woah! So much to consider! Great job condensing this topic down to 8 mins - I bet it could easily have been a 3-hour video or more!
You are so smart and helpful, thank you! 😊
I wish there was more idea illustrations instead of just text on top of Dr. Marks! Like, you know, the driver from the first scene could see a car crash on the road and close his eyes (immature response), he could do a sudden hard turn (neurotic), and he could drive around the obstacle with a blinker on as an adult. Stuff like that helps digesting information and respects the visual medium.
A while ago, I realized that my bad habits exist for a reason.. that they have helped me and still are helping me to deal with stuff (even if it's unhealthy habits) .. realizing that has made me feel less ashamed. I still feel ashamed of my eating habits, but at least I understand it a bit better now.
Don't feel ashamed, but try to change your behaviours with tiny steps at a time. And acknowledge that fallbacks are part of the process. It takes quite some time to change behaviours. Especially if you've been doing them for some time. You might not hold on to them and will often fall back into old habits. And that's okay. Shit's hard. Just keep on trying and hopefully in time learn to love and respect yourself. ❤
@@DeltaNovum It just feels like sugary stuff comforts me like nothing else when I'm down 😞
Dr Marks your video releases are so often timed serendipitously with what I have going on in my own life, always something that resonates with me, thank you ❤
Great Video!!! Tracy❤
Thank you!!
Your a great Teacher Dr Tracy thank you.
I love watching and listening to your videos Dr.Tracey Marks. You are an inspiration & simply great personality Doctor.🙏👏
Thank you so much Dr. Marks for all of these informative videos. Your videos have helped me so much. Thank you.
Makes a lot of sense to me. Avoidance doesn't make it go away you are just prolonging making yourself better and substance abuse don't help either. But it's so difficult to except help when you have been talking that negative approach so long ignoring it and drinking heavily for 38 years
Appreciate you! Your videos are so great. Thank you for your work! ❤
Thank you. I think your presentations are becoming more and more insightful and therefore useful.
Thank you for ALL that you do!
I am eagerly anticipating your video delving further into defense mechanisms. Recognizing behavior will help me to better employ adaptive coping mechanisms. Thanks!
Kind of crazy I was just watching a video on this as I saw this pop up in my inbox. Neat
i look forward to the rest of the series. i like that your videos are short. gives me time to process.
It seems pretty nice all these examples of the father character related to the self.
Very helpful, thank you Doc! 💐
Thanks Dr. Tracey. ❤️✌️
Thank you!❤
Great content, thank you Dr. Marks
Very interesting
Thank you ❤
Thank you 😘
Thank you!
Thank you.
I’m always fascinated by this concepts I learned about why taking a few psychology courses in college.
I’m glad that I’ve been able to learn to use mature coping skills. it wasn’t easy and it took a long time learn how to use them.
Thank you for your video 🙌🏽 i have read your book and enjoyed it! 🤍
So very educational 💯🙏
Thank you'd Dr Marks!!
I love this video
Always awesome
❤ this thank you 🙏🏾
You book is a very good book. I advise everyone to read it!
Excellence! ☺️
did you just reveal to us how you feel about your brother-in-law 😅 just kidding. thank you. love your videos
Soòoo helpful!!
Notification on this one.
Will you be covering blocking memories out or nervous breakdowns?
I really appreciate your work and videos and find them very helpful and understanding those two thing better would be a great help. 😊
Again thank for all that you have done.
Looking forward to the dissociation video, since it seems to be a pretty big problem with me and others like me!
Thanks
You're welcome!
Yup it's very nice .
Bagaimana Anda bisa menjelaskan secara sistematis, sedetail dan serinci ini ? Mengagumkan sekali.
Thank for sharing this video, very helpful.
Looking forward to the episode on projection - especially if you can elaborate on Freud's original idea vis-à-vis Jung's shadow self projection.
Great teaching Doc! Daryl……..What’s the name of your book you mentioned?
This really tapped into our d.i.d problems massively....
Great talk and I caught the suppressed urged 😂😂😂
Wow, I'm currently going through this at work now. I feel like my space is being invaded or just annoyed by a co-worker comment. I'm trying hard to process why I feel this way . I want to run out of here.
Can you use earplugs to mute your coworker a bit?
I loved the examples they made me laugh
Can you expand on the neurotic defenses
That's the reason why "ilm" or "awareness" is so important according to Islam ❤
Hi Tracey, the link to your book isn't working. Please could you share another link.
Funny enough I just presented the topic: reactions to Stressful Experiences today.
Should have watched this video to add more stuffs to it, an explain it better...
Please help us with a deep dive into Forgiveness. A series would be great. Thank you Dr Marks!
From my own personal experience I can tell you that trying to practice emphatising with the person you'd like to forgive helps and might breed forgives au naturel.
Also for me personally watching some of Stanford proffesor Robert Sapolsky's views on humanity, our behaviours and the fact we might not have true agency, have tremendously helped me along this path.
In the case of an individual diagnosed with bipolar disorder or perhaps, Narcissistic personally disorder... In your opinion , would either of these individuals display or develop any of these defense mechanism traits? And if so, it is necessary that would follow in any specific order from primitive to mature? Secondly, would their actions be considered as a defense mechanism in these two disorders?
I want Dr. Tracey Marks to release more new videos
DR👩⚕️.Marks my initial reaction to this video,it seems like the bodies reaction,fight👐 or flight🛫 mode.
Thank you for your video on boundaries. I was no good at setting them. I am the person who bares my soul to the person i don't know. There was an ex male boss of mine and for some reason this person I had no boundaries with. That was evident. From my interview 'i was baring my soul to him. Unfortunately he used alot of what I told him against me. I am older now and see things more clear now. I was not raised with people who taught me those things. I am also learning how to say no. I guess growing up my mom always told me crying was a bad weak thing to do. So i would cry around other people including my ex boss. looking back i wish i could take back things i told him. I was to intimate with sharing my things to him. He knew how to play me. He knew he was good. Can you do a video on how crying is not a bad thing. To this day I feel guilty when I cry. My mom always told me "crying is just weakness and if i cried in front of her she would tell me "Stop It" My Maternal Grandma used to cry alot too I am so much like her. My mom sees us both as weak. Am I weak? because I cry?"" Don't all women cry?" Thank you that felt so good to get that all out!!! It's been bottled up for years. When I have a good cry I feel good" Oh I feel soo good to get that all out. I am so glad I
found you Dr. Marks I am so glad so happy i could cry!!!!
The ego is so protective because there is so little to defend.
Shakyamuni Buddha taught anatman, often translated as no soul.
There's this view that we are more than what we think, say, and do when that's actually all we are.
People will say they're not usually the sort who'd do what they just did, and then offer some excuse.
Doctor, I don't exactly have a inner critic I have continus internal thought , I tried worry box and some other techniques with professional help and they didn't work , my mind just doesn't stop , I'm only able to work a fraction of my time ,what can I do?
I enjoy the content, it's helpful and insightful. However, many of the traumas listed were geared toward the father, why is that?
My partner refuses to learn what I'm diagnosed with. Then he tells me its mind over matter and I need to just do certain things. My mind and body rarely agree. When he does this I lash out, resort to name calling and then he points out how I need help but then says "go ahead tell your counselor she'll just tell you to leave me" and the cycle continues. Im waiting for my out. I never want to be in a relationship again. I hate who I am when Im not alone. I just want to be alone.
That doesn't sound like a healthy relationships and sound's a bit manipulative. Please don't fall into the pitfall of thinking relationships are bad because you've never experienced a good one. Take a break from them, find balance in your life, in yourself and finding someone to have a proper relationship with might just happen. I hope you find someone that you can have a happy life with ❤.
@@DeltaNovum Funny you say this now. Good timing. I literally left the relationship on Mother's day. Got a camper, put it on my son's property and now I'm trying to figure things out.
@@tinatree1739good on you! I hope things aren't too tough on you. And I hope you'll be able to remind yourself about the things we could be grateful off.
P.s. I often click profiles to check what people are subbed to and you're the only person I've ever seen that likes Overwerk too ^^. His Tocatta and Daybreak are what got me into his music.
@@tinatree1739 so I responded to you, but for some reason youtube has been deleting comments at random for the past couple of months.... I don't remember what I said exactly, but good on you! I hope things aren't too tough right now and that you'll be okay.
Freud still lives!
Hi Dr. I want to tell you what I feel so that you can decide whether I should see a doctor or not, if you don't mind. I had an experience of hearing things for 7 days or something 4 years ago, and I was suspicious with my parents. I totally lost my faith in them. The suspicion continued until two months ago. The third symptom, which still hasn't totally gone but less worsen now, is my facial expression and my speech. I feel like l look angry or drunk when I approach people, especially when I speak to them. I don't experience the former two symptoms now. I'm just suffering from the third symptom. I decided not to speak with anyonebecause it makes me feel comfortable in that way. So ,Dr., should I see a doctor, or is it not that serious?
Thanks in advance. 🙏
Why has "sub-conscious" been replaced with "un-concious"?
So how do we fix it🥴Finding a qualified therapist in my area has been quite the challenge-
My mental health at a all time low. Inner strength has ran out. I just want to delete myself out of this this world. No point anymore. I hate life.
When you get to that point, you must recognise its an anxiety driven state. The one way to snap our of it, is consider two things. 1) think of someone that is born with great physical disability, or someone elderly who needs support all the time. Think on how they battle to survive each day, how they try to appreciate the smaller glimmer of happiness they can have. It breaks your heart but they would have great difficulty understanding you, with all your abilities, just throwing it all away. For they would value you if you were in their lives and able to ease just an activity or just one day. (2) That's when you realise that you do have a lot of value. An your time and care could make the world of difference to someone else who needs you. Our lives aren't just about ourselves, we have duties to protect others, to protect and care for yourself is your first mission.
✅✅
Hi doctor Tracey! I have a problem that I couldn't find a video about in UA-cam at all. I've beaten depression and anxiety a few months ago. I don't feel depressed, anxious or empty since 5 months ago and I'm off the pills. But I still don't want to do things because I don't feel connected to things and people since I've been isolating for 7 years and didn't have a proper life until now. I couldn't adapt to have a normal life yet because of my lack of connection to things I do and I get tired easily on a daily basis. I'm planning to go to a professional again just for this. People do things just normally but I get tired both mentally and physically so often after every activity and yet I don't know how to improve other than trying my best and keeping it up.But I thought I could see different perspectives from videos. Can you make a video about this, if you don't have a video about this subject? If you do have one, can you link because I couldn't see
I am not a professional so take whatever I say at face value. It feels to me like it might still be a lingering but less unobtrusive depression. Depression is not an on/off switch, but rather a spectrum.
For me personally depression doesn't mean sadness or anything. Most often it means anhedonia, feeling exhausted and not being able to motivate myself or feel connected to things.
I'd say take it one step at a time and even if you don't feel connected to it (yet), try and make effort to make friends and try out hobbies and experiences. A good way to meet people is to take a course or spmething akin to a drawing/theater/cookong class, a sport or a place to share a hobby. This will be good for you eithet way. And hopefully these feelings will change and you and your brain will learn to connect again.
Edit: oh and I share the getting tired completely. I'm often so exhausted its hard to find energy or motivation to do anything. The shitty thing is that when you give into that it will only make it worse. Its almost always a spiral where you either go down or upward. If you want it to go upward you gotta persevere and fight theough the exhausting and or discomfort.
@@DeltaNovum First off all, thank you. I have motivation and energy but the problem is I'm not adapted to doing things after being a 7 years shut down. I am motivated, made a few friends, never had before, trying to do things. The problem is my power isn't enough. I'm like a kid getting tired after making a few desicions or a kid getting tired after writing down one page. My memory, muscles, thinking skills and socializing skills just had weakened so much it's like a 5 years old body trying to operate an adult life. I think seeing depression as a spectrum makes sense now I am thinking about it, huh. I think it's really cool I've gotten better but that weakness is something I need to defeat and I need to adapt. Don't know how to yet but I am still trying
@@kaous5690 hey I know exactly what you mean. I'm in the same boat, even considering how many years. I never know where my exhausting comes from exactly. Its always a complex combination of things. We just need to keep trying and trying. I know it feels impossible sometimes and that's the lack of hormones, trauma, depressed state talking or whatever. I feel like "fighting it" might not be the best way to look at it, but thats just me. I do think it takes a lot of time to adapt and relearn things. Especially if you've been doing them for years. Even though it sometimes feels like I'm in the thick of it, I know I've come a long way and I'm on a good path. Completely "cured" from a decades long and severe anxiety disorder, overcame many insecurities, finally able to have somewhat healthy relationships with actually good people, starting to find things like order in the chaos, motivation, energy and even some self reliance. I'll never be donenand thats okay.
For me personally the best way to improve is to learn about myself and why I've acted in certain ways. There is always a reason behind our behaviours, and often times they are meant to protect ourselves, but they can have the propensity to overshoot and actually be destructive. Like depression, using substsnces to cope, or retreating into yourself for example. I don't know if this works for others, but as long as I keep learning, understanding and empathising with myself, change seems to come naturally and automatically. I've always had many difficulties, shitty executive function and have always been a mess. Ive tried for many years to take those problems head on. This often resulted in periods of hope, motivation, energy and always ended up in failure, hating myself and desperation.
In the last couple of years I've been focusing on acceptance, tolerance, empathy, gratefullness and letting go, towards myself. Its not always easy, but i try not to expect anything from myself besides breathing. I used to be very hard on myself and I believed I should be able to brush my teeth, pee on time, shower, eat etc. In actuality I expected much more than thr bsre minimum. All this did was make me feel like shit, insecure, made me go up and down and up and down and only contributed to my depressions and other things. Since ive been learning things like acceptance and empathy its much easier to still take care of myself, however shit I feel. The depressions don't seem as bad and won't take as long anymore. Recently I even started to develop a tiny amounts of discipline. Something noone ever taught me, and something I thought forever out of reach.
Try to learn to exist first and go from there. Learn to love yourself over time and don't force anything. Things might start to develop naturally from a place of care and love. And maybe after a while you'll look back and you're doing things you could have never have hoped, dreamed, believed or even think off.
And remember fallbacks and failures are a big part of these processes. Its important to accept them aswell. Which can be very difficult. Once youve tasted succes, satisfaction and perhaps even happiness, it's very hard when it suddenly all gets taken away again. The real power is being able to bear with it, and accepting that. The better you getvat that, the sooner you'll be back at the level you where before. And each time you'll be able to grow just a bit more.
These are the things that have helped me, and I know everyone is different, but I hope you might find something in there and that you'll find your own way into a life worth living. Hang in there good and worthy person
@@kaous5690 also for your issues in particular you could see it as exercising. Anything you don't use will atrophy over time. And time is the one thing it takes to get back into shape. All you gotta do is keep using those skills, and don't be afraid to fail.
1:43 conflicts "live" beneath the surface? Did she pronounce "live" correctly? Curious question from a non-native English speaker.
I slowed down the playback speed and found she was saying, "... lie just below the surface." Had she used the word "live", it would typically be pronounced with a short "i" sound as in the word, give.
@@user-pu7ds6pm1kI listened to it again. Yeah, she said "lie", not "live". Maybe, I was too focused on the English subtitle that I didn't pay more attention to how she correctly pronounced the word.
I avoid everything not because I try to avoid emotions that I find unpleasant but because I try to avoid reality that I find unbearable. Is that immature? Maybe. Could that turn out to be bad for me in the long term? It very well could. Am I going to stop doing it? Absolutely not.
I have spent the past fifty years with depression, thinking I had it as a genetic thing as my mum had depression. Now I've been made aware I probably have cptsd. My world has to a certain extent collapsed around me. Stupid ? Sometimes, it feels like it. I hate thinking of my childhood in those terms although there is no doubt it is true. The protections I have put around those memories are very strong. I feel angry at being handed antidepressants all these years when it could have been identified surely earlier than now? I feel like I have wasted my life. So what now I ask. I feel lost, like a child.
derealisation is my worst
Envy, framing and unused programs running in the background.
2:29 Somebody get Dr Marks' husband a gym membership, quick! (Just kidding. Thanks for another great video.)
Wait.. suppression is a mature defence?
Humor surprised me lol, like oh, I guess I've been doing that correctly haha
@annado9444 Suppression relies on more conscious awareness that something is bothering you, and you intentionally try to block it out or not focus on it (suppress).
You have accepted payment,you are now my doctor.😅
😀 Thanks a lot, I appreciate you!!
Kernberg theorizes that neurotic personality organization is most likely to be adaptive
Yes, he does, and in that case, neurotic personality organization is on one end and psychotic on the other, with borderline being in between (borderline personality organization not to be confused with borderline personality disorder). It can get confusing when we use psychological terms in different ways like that. Thanks for pointing this out 😊
@@DrTraceyMarksWere you actually trained by Otto directly? I think he worked at Cornell or Columbia when you were in residency training. Foget which one train you. I don'rt know what's cooler, your psychoeducational content or that you know both about Bowens systems family theory AND how to solve electrical current progblems.
@@ThomasMuethingDotCom Yes Dr. Kernberg gave us lectures during my residency. I even had to present a case to him for feedback.
@@DrTraceyMarkssuper cool. The coolest thing about you is that you know the diff between psychiatry and physiatry, obviously.
You got eLL's permission to use her video right?
Is the Doc taking new patients? Fuck I'm broken
Sister’s hot husband felt very specific 😆
🤣 Maybe it was...
😂 made me laugh though! Laughter is good medicine.
Fighting with my sister right now and wow I didn’t realize how much of the fight is the rest of the iceberg 😞
Anyway to start over or are we doomed to have every fight stack on top of each other?
A minute in and waiting for the word maladaptive....
talking about Freud without talking about Freud…
Freud: the forbidden name in american psychology or
the immense power of the cbt lobby…
Dang....fathers really be doing their kids dirty
Why are we here in this life? Why do we die? What will happen to us after death?