It was some horror shit. I swear we need a game that starts out like a really shity steam game and then tricks you into being a horror game. It would be one hell of a mind blower.
I think he has a better one in his 30 FPS Mafia III video, when he stops messing around outside of the car and gets back in, and the companion character goes "Well, anyways," or something to that regard to Jim's shenanigans, and he just loses it.
Too bad you didn't manage to unlock the bipod, foregrip, ACOG scope, red dot laser and bayonet for your slingshot, because it's there where the game truly shines.
I sometimes imagine that this is what hell looks like. Not that you're playing a game like this, but that you're one of the enemies. Just a nameless asset, forced to die by the hands of annoyed players, and doomed to respawn back to life, just to die again. For eternity.
it should be noted that this game has eula you have to agree to. according to steam the contents of this eula are: There was an error loading the content of this EULA.
I'm flabbergasted. This is after 2 patches, one of which evidently addressed the fact that all the enemies would just muller you with eagle vision but this 'balancing' completely wrecked it. Amazing
Here's a fun challenge: See if you can get a decompiled version of this trainwreck and see where they've fucked up the optimization so badly that it runs the way it does. You can have more fun trying to figure out why this broken is the way it is than you ever could by playing it.
It's likely a bought game engine and they simply plonked a couple hundred entities near the player (too many for the default engine state to handle well). No optimization was done because they only knew how to place purchased objects.
11:20 Jim makes a break for the 3D silhouette of the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant armed with nothing but a slingshot, and is gunned down by countless braindead bandits. Such is life in The Zone.
It truly is a technical masterpiece to force a game that looks this bad to run like MS Powerpoint on systems that can handle plenty of other high end games absolutely fine.
Man, those various "graa-aaarrggh!" sounds would be perfect when paired with that clipart from "Age of Barbarian" you use so often. "Barbarian says HRAAANNNNGH!"
It's a normal day when you're more interested in talking with Jim Sterling about the parts of a gun (it's muzzle, by the way, you were right) than you are about the game he's playing. Incidentally, I thought the menu was more "FPS Creator" than "Game Guru".
Ugh! I can't believe all those critics and their critisism toward this game! This game teaches people such valuable lesson - don't go againts a whole damn army with a freaking slingshot YOU IDIOT. I think we can all appreciate stories with important messages like that.
"So what's the point of going outside?" There is no point. Just like there's no point in going outside in real life. That's what this game is trying to tell you.
System requirements, as outlined by the "developer": MINIMUM: OS: Windows XP/Vista/7 Processor: Intel Core i5 Memory: 4 GB RAM Graphics: 3 GB DirectX: Version 12 Storage: 40 GB available space Sound Card: совместимая с DirectX 12 x RECOMMENDED: OS: Windows XP/Vista/7 Processor: Intel Core i5 Memory: 8 GB RAM Graphics: 4 GB DirectX: Version 12 Storage: 40 GB available space Sound Card: совместимая с DirectX 12 x I...really don't know what to say about that, but I feel it's important anyway.
Here's a fun fact about slingshots: Even at over fifty yards a slingshot projectile can still punch through someone's eyeball and crack the skull beneath. You may not think that fact is particularly fun, but I had a grand old time!
This tripe was on my steam store page under "new releases" the other day. Imagine walking by a butcher's shop and they have a rotting mouse displayed in the window. Fucks sake Valve; I don't wanna hate you.
It's just some kids saved GameGuru project he made for shits and giggles just to mess around with and he successfully put it up on Steam. We have hit rock bottom again after bouncing on it for 118 times. Maybe it's time to crack down, Valve?
My first thought was BMC too, it has the same 'style' (if you can call it that), same kind of assets and environment pack, piss-poor textures, lack of purpose....all its missing is the live action shit.
Going by the title, I was imagining an 'angry-birds-esque' physics game, where you catapult people into castle walls, or something. I think my idea would have been better. Actually - I'm going to start work on that!
Now that you mention South Park, I vaguely recall seeing that before. Just when I thought I had a good idea, it turns out it was Trey & Matt's, all along. Well that's disappointing.
It's the easiest editor for level building. Harder for anything else - and that's why many games released are bad. I work with GG sometimes, and you can have level built in literally few minutes. Dev of this game just put stuff on the floor, didn't optimise, didn't add spawn scripts so every AI is working at all times. Ofc it runs like shit
I think this game pulls off an incredibly tricky balancing act - portraying World War 1 as the destructive, wasteful hell it was while providing a videogame that shooter fans could still find entertaining. ;)
You know, through this terrible, terrible game, Jim came up with a rather good idea. A game that actively watches your character as you play. Where the enemies start out stupid and weak, but as you go through the game it analyzes what you do and actively begins to learn all your tactics, all your methods and habits, and thus gets harder and more unpredictable as time goes on. At the start you're up against relatively benign foes, but after playing for a period of time... Every enemy should know how to fight against YOU. Not just a set of preprogrammed AI, but learned, active behaviors. Not THIS game, obviously. But a good game.
Step 1. Try frustum culling. If that doesn't work, try removing some of the objects in the scene. If that doesn't work try reducing how far the lighting works. If that doesn't work turn off everything else. Step 2. Start again. I've done VR testing today and the camera was moving in the opposite direction to the direction I was looking when the application was exiting. I don't need any more sickening things in my life today.
I don't think the title is a descriptive one, more of an instructional one. "Slingshot People" like "Kill people". Also seriously, Jim, hearing those massive laughs of yours never fails to make me smile. 6:25 was a thing of beauty.
10:34 ... when jim said this I had a strange image of the 'muderous AI goes rogue and wipes out humanity' story except the murderous AI was slingshot man the steam game
2007 - Can It run Crysis?
2016 - Can it run Slingshot People?
I love fps games. And this one is 9 times the fun at 9fps!
first-person slideshow
0x9=0
9 x 9 = 81
81 x 9 = 729 moving around
Mark Nobody 84 x 5 = 420 ;)
I always store my cartons of milk outside, on the second floor of my house, next to the urinals. Don't you?
4:18 That spider has the right idea.
gotta love the spider at 4:17 vanishing into oblivion.
It was some horror shit. I swear we need a game that starts out like a really shity steam game and then tricks you into being a horror game. It would be one hell of a mind blower.
All those generic NPCs standing unflinching and silent by the door was
creepier than 90% of actual horror games
6:25, the best reaction we have ever got out of Jim this year.
I think he has a better one in his 30 FPS Mafia III video, when he stops messing around outside of the car and gets back in, and the companion character goes "Well, anyways," or something to that regard to Jim's shenanigans, and he just loses it.
"YAARRGGHHHH...FIRE BAAAADDDD!!!"
16:30 onwards in the Eve of Destruction Redux vid is so much better
Keep these suggestions going, this is some good stuff.
Let's be clear: even in a year that included Age of Barbarian, Eve of Destruction Redux was a masterpiece.
Too bad you didn't manage to unlock the bipod, foregrip, ACOG scope, red dot laser and bayonet for your slingshot, because it's there where the game truly shines.
FPS goes up to at least 60fps.
Waldy500 the fact that you said "60fps" instead of just "60" is really jarring me
@Jimothy Fucksmen
ATM machine
Jimothy Fucksmen S.C.U.B.B.A apparatus
60 fps/s. Constantly accelerating.
The true cinematic experience
Ubisoft execs are all collectively climaxing right now.
Is this ready at dawn's ashcan project or something?
I sometimes imagine that this is what hell looks like. Not that you're playing a game like this, but that you're one of the enemies. Just a nameless asset, forced to die by the hands of annoyed players, and doomed to respawn back to life, just to die again. For eternity.
but the human eye can't see more than 9 frames per second so what's the problem??
Lost Connection I can kiss my own cock
Goner Does it kiss back?
Peardude89 Mine just cries.
Veilan
what the fuck are these replies
it should be noted that this game has eula you have to agree to. according to steam the contents of this eula are: There was an error loading the content of this EULA.
I'm flabbergasted.
This is after 2 patches, one of which evidently addressed the fact that all the enemies would just muller you with eagle vision but this 'balancing' completely wrecked it.
Amazing
Here's a fun challenge: See if you can get a decompiled version of this trainwreck and see where they've fucked up the optimization so badly that it runs the way it does.
You can have more fun trying to figure out why this broken is the way it is than you ever could by playing it.
It's likely a bought game engine and they simply plonked a couple hundred entities near the player (too many for the default engine state to handle well). No optimization was done because they only knew how to place purchased objects.
@@Nicholas_Steel How many of those objects are even bought separately and not shipped with GameGuru itself?
11:20 Jim makes a break for the 3D silhouette of the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant armed with nothing but a slingshot, and is gunned down by countless braindead bandits. Such is life in The Zone.
It truly is a technical masterpiece to force a game that looks this bad to run like MS Powerpoint on systems that can handle plenty of other high end games absolutely fine.
Man, those various "graa-aaarrggh!" sounds would be perfect when paired with that clipart from "Age of Barbarian" you use so often. "Barbarian says HRAAANNNNGH!"
Splicer: "Is it someone new?"
Jack: "ARRRRAWWRRRGH!"
I'm waiting for one of these games to literally have 60 fps as an unlockable.
Isabelle Rayth like Mafia 3
*30
I love that the game starts running better as soon as you run away from the game.
"Oh they're moving... they're adapting... They're learning!"
Best line ever XD
"Why's the milk hissing?"
- Stephanie Sterling, 2016.
6:27 That laugh was just beautiful.
4:18 the spider just gives up and disappears into the floor
Such a cinematic framerate. Almost brings a tear to my eye.
Slingshot? More like sli... slideshow.
Slick slideshow about slingshots on slings.
that joke sling sucked.
is this Metal gear survive???
Shots fired! SHOTS FIRED!
No it is the sequel of MG5. Didn't you recognize Quiet in the corner, breathing through her skin?
I clicked to watch Jim be tortured by 9fps.
It's a normal day when you're more interested in talking with Jim Sterling about the parts of a gun (it's muzzle, by the way, you were right) than you are about the game he's playing.
Incidentally, I thought the menu was more "FPS Creator" than "Game Guru".
This is SO cinematic! The framerate makes me feel like I'm actually there!
Ugh! I can't believe all those critics and their critisism toward this game! This game teaches people such valuable lesson - don't go againts a whole damn army with a freaking slingshot YOU IDIOT.
I think we can all appreciate stories with important messages like that.
"So what's the point of going outside?"
There is no point. Just like there's no point in going outside in real life. That's what this game is trying to tell you.
To paraphrase Johnny Cage: "It's called Slingshot people; WE slingshot."
I love how they're all crowding around you like ducks that realised you've got a loaf of bread on you.
I think I just drank a bug in my coffee and now I feel grossed out even though I've probably accidentally eaten lots of bugs by now.
I like how the enemies are gathered around like, "Kill us please! Save us from this horrid game!"
You know, I feel like I've seen that "scuffed-up wall" in the majority of crappy FPS games.
All comes in different flavors, too.
And they said Konami can't make a good game...
OutlawRebel117 Slingshot:a weapon to surpass Metal Gear.
That enemy audio... They're combatants of the Frankenstein army.
System requirements, as outlined by the "developer":
MINIMUM:
OS: Windows XP/Vista/7
Processor: Intel Core i5
Memory: 4 GB RAM
Graphics: 3 GB
DirectX: Version 12
Storage: 40 GB available space
Sound Card: совместимая с DirectX 12 x
RECOMMENDED:
OS: Windows XP/Vista/7
Processor: Intel Core i5
Memory: 8 GB RAM
Graphics: 4 GB
DirectX: Version 12
Storage: 40 GB available space
Sound Card: совместимая с DirectX 12 x
I...really don't know what to say about that, but I feel it's important anyway.
oh phew, I have at least 5 gigs of graphics so I should be OK.
Is he out of his fucking mind?
40gb of storage? Are you fucking serious?
That's almost as much as GTA V.
russian? what?
Alexey Stolovoy That was a literal copy-paste. That's how it appears on the page.
If you watch at double the speed it almost becomes tolerable to watch, almost. Also if you do that Jim sounds like a Hummingbird on 5 mugs of coffee.
This video only made me wish that there was a sequel to Bully.
Here's a fun fact about slingshots: Even at over fifty yards a slingshot projectile can still punch through someone's eyeball and crack the skull beneath. You may not think that fact is particularly fun, but I had a grand old time!
Did.... did you kill someone with a slingshot?
jokerswild00 I have been instructed by my defense attorney not to answer that question at this time.
George Sears We need answers
Now
are you talking about the classic y-shaped stick sling, or the one you spin around?
you mean the sling.
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' IN MY BASEMENT?
GET OUTTA HERE.
GET OUTTA HERE!
Dude. Its not like the human eye can see more then 9 fps anyway.
How could this game be realistically completed. How? They have overwhelming numbers and machine guns!
6:50, Serious Sam has WARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! and Orks have WAAAAGHHH!!!!
The circle strafing, it does nothing!
seeing these kind of games always makes me appreciate the work that goes into "actual" games
The enemies sound like the monster from Young Frankenstein.
It says on the store page that you need 40gb of storage...
That is fucking atrocious.
Not to mention a DirectX 12 Sound Card. No really!
for only 10 more gb i can install witcher 3 and waste my life away.
+Blood Doll the witcher is garbo
I rate this a *HYAGHH*/10
I'm pretty sure that loading screen is one of the first things you get when you google "old metal texture".
This game has got to be the latest offering from EA.
At 6:25 it sounds like Agnew from Futurama. You know, the headless Aide to President Nixon.
This game perfectly shows what games can now be found on Steam thanks to no quality control
I love how the enemies flock to you like their lord and master with a slingshot, awaiting their deaths ....
This tripe was on my steam store page under "new releases" the other day. Imagine walking by a butcher's shop and they have a rotting mouse displayed in the window.
Fucks sake Valve; I don't wanna hate you.
Wow that was a fantastic greenlight! such Quality! much frames!!
Absolutely love how the assets collapse like a dead spider
I know the UA-cam never portraits the looper quality of a game but wow that made me feel ill
This is better than cinematic; this is damn near picturesque!
This is gonna sound weird Jim, but your laugh (specifically at 6:25) is only second to Banzai from Birgirpall in terms of treatment of illnesses
I decided to turn on the automatic subsfor this video and i'm surprised how accurate it is since the last time i turned them on.
It's just some kids saved GameGuru project he made for shits and giggles just to mess around with and he successfully put it up on Steam.
We have hit rock bottom again after bouncing on it for 118 times. Maybe it's time to crack down, Valve?
banning Russians would be a good start
Sounds like BMC to me, honestly.
My first thought was BMC too, it has the same 'style' (if you can call it that), same kind of assets and environment pack, piss-poor textures, lack of purpose....all its missing is the live action shit.
Jim Fucking Sterling
Son.
yup those slingshot sound effects will never get old
and here we see slingshot sterling in it's natural habbit!
Going by the title, I was imagining an 'angry-birds-esque' physics game, where you catapult people into castle walls, or something. I think my idea would have been better. Actually - I'm going to start work on that!
Reminds me of South Park. Done right, that could be cool. :D
Now that you mention South Park, I vaguely recall seeing that before. Just when I thought I had a good idea, it turns out it was Trey & Matt's, all along. Well that's disappointing.
For the one guy that might e compiling soundclips for a jim sterling soundboard ... this is a good one
Technology has gone so far ! I'm really happy to be a part of this era
Performance remains me of Deus Ex Mankind Divided...
Upgrade your shitty hardware that can only run Cave Story nerd. Stop collecting panties from robots and play MANLY games.
chickmcjr Got a 980 Ti with a i7 (4.5 Ghz) 16GB of ram its a shitty port don't defend that mistake.
Cave Story's quite smashing, isn't it? It or Shovel Knight is my favorite indie sidescroller.
i thought the thumbnail was........different, especially with the video time blocking the floor making it look like a male arousal state
That spider crawled off its web and fell through the floor.
9:49 isn't that the Chernobyl NPP asset from the background of CoD4?
I think the low FPS gives it an immensely cinematic feel.
Spiders are more dangerous than men with shotguns. Thank you, Slingshot People.
If you go to this developer's profile, you can see it's been made in GameGuru: an engine nobody has ever heard of.
I won't deny that. I'm just saying I never heard of that engine.
TFSimple
Oh okay.
No, a lot of people have heard of it. It's basically 3d gamemaker.
It's the easiest editor for level building. Harder for anything else - and that's why many games released are bad.
I work with GG sometimes, and you can have level built in literally few minutes.
Dev of this game just put stuff on the floor, didn't optimise, didn't add spawn scripts so every AI is working at all times. Ofc it runs like shit
I typed this comment using Game Guru last week and it just uploaded
Got an ad before this. I wonder who claimed it...
The things Jim suffers for us...
I think this game pulls off an incredibly tricky balancing act - portraying World War 1 as the destructive, wasteful hell it was while providing a videogame that shooter fans could still find entertaining. ;)
Saw the title of the video and was surprised it was not a Jeorg Sprave video.
You know, through this terrible, terrible game, Jim came up with a rather good idea. A game that actively watches your character as you play. Where the enemies start out stupid and weak, but as you go through the game it analyzes what you do and actively begins to learn all your tactics, all your methods and habits, and thus gets harder and more unpredictable as time goes on. At the start you're up against relatively benign foes, but after playing for a period of time... Every enemy should know how to fight against YOU. Not just a set of preprogrammed AI, but learned, active behaviors.
Not THIS game, obviously. But a good game.
I think that game might be Hello Neighbor.
Gameguru? Isn't that the cartridge that allows you to use cheat codes on gameboy games?
Anyone else notice the spider just crawl straight through the floor? Yes, that's what I took from this.
The whole Dennis the Menace thing was super confusing in Australia. We got both
Step 1. Try frustum culling.
If that doesn't work, try removing some of the objects in the scene. If that doesn't work try reducing how far the lighting works. If that doesn't work turn off everything else.
Step 2. Start again.
I've done VR testing today and the camera was moving in the opposite direction to the direction I was looking when the application was exiting. I don't need any more sickening things in my life today.
Never mind, just skip step 1.
I don't think the title is a descriptive one, more of an instructional one. "Slingshot People" like "Kill people".
Also seriously, Jim, hearing those massive laughs of yours never fails to make me smile. 6:25 was a thing of beauty.
@12:46 Bravo for that Shakespeare reference.
6:26 with 0.50 speed is amazing. It's also very suitable considering the FPS.
Greasy kisspit is my new favorite intro from Jim.
Ooh, a Shakespeare reference. Jim's getting classier, even if the games ain't.
4:20
The spider on the right melted through the floor. Not surprised.
This makes me think of Serious Sam, if Serious Sam had clinical depression and just gave up on everything.
press e to pick up weapon? so you get a gun... in a slingshot game... on the first screen...
The best 74 cents anyone has ever spent.
The pirate terrorist soundbite was well worth those cents. Yarrrrr.
anybody else curious why jim didnt slingshot the spider in the beginning when he had the chance? i mean, the fkn thing just bit him.
10:34 ... when jim said this I had a strange image of the 'muderous AI goes rogue and wipes out humanity' story except the murderous AI was slingshot man the steam game
if you put the speed on x2 on the youtube settings it almost looks like a regular paced game looool