You will need a piece of paper and a piece of fabric/rag/towel for this exercise. Timestamps: 00:00 - Introduction to why anger wants to be expressed in a healthy way 00:58 - Exercise one - twist with rage 3:14 - Exercise two - Desire to Destroy
When i was a kid, everytime im having a tantrum, my parents will get mad at me bcs to them it's a negative feelings that is not deserve to be entertained. Now im 25, im healing myself and letting all the feelings come through me. But for anger, it's a special feeling i could not bury it down, i need to do something physical but not too crazy. Did both activities, and could already feel its immediate effect
Yes unfortunately the older generation aren't very well informed in regards to anger release . Today I was told twise by my family to "CALM DOWN" . This made me more angry . People should be telling each other "LET IT ALL OUT" .
Just did this right now I had so much pent up. The dish rag was amazing, and the paper was just what I needed. I threw the paper everywhere afterwards and it was so incredible. I made a mess without hurting anything or hurting myself. I felt so relieved I bawled my eyes out after. I can't thank you enough, Emily! Thank you for teaching me 🙏
😂 haha! No journaling when you’re filled with rage! Better to tear paper to shreds! I also find it so satisfying as you can probably see in the video 😅
I really enjoyed hearing myself growl while I did this. It feels so safe and so good to express my anger this way and it made me smile so big that I started laughing. I was trying to make myself smile all day and I didn’t think expressing my anger like this was going to do that! 💗🙏🏽 Thank you so much.
I used to have this weird habit. Whenever I got mad, I would dig my nails into my palms. It's been going on since I was a kid, I think because I was taught to bottle up my anger and never really learned how to deal with it. But I found this video, and it helps me in a way to let out stress and anger without hurting myself. It's way better and healthier. Thank you ❤
Thank you so much for this video. I have suffered from bruxism my whole life. I am anxious and wake up tense with jaw, neck and shoulder pain. I am now aware that it comes from a childhood of people pleasing. I will try this at bedtime. Thank you 🎉❤
I’m so glad that you found some relief from these exercises. Healing from people pleasing usually does involve getting in touch with your anger - I know from personal experience as a recovering people pleaser myself ☺️ Best wishes on your journey! And thank you so much for watching.
Thank you for this vid. It helps me a lot release my anger that causes neck pain and headache. All my childhood trauma flashback then I burst in tears... Thank you. I feel better.
Anger managed with the sense of safety is healthy, but anger expressed from the fear, thinking like "I have to get rid of this feeling, so I scream" does only more damage, and the feeling keeps coming back. Radical acceptance and loving compassion towards it is the way. Loving the anger part.
This is helpful, I’ll try this. I have PTSD and a lot of anger. I once punched a punching bag for 18 minutes before I finally felt relief from rage. I’m determined not to take my anger out on others so I’m looking for healthy outlets. Thank you for the video!
This is day one of me working to peacefully release store anger, and Woah, that was actually nice! To get into the anger and then release, rest. To see that it's just an emotion, just an expression. It's all ok. Thank you, I feel uplifted somehow.
Twisting and squeezing the fabric hugely helped me. I felt my breathing afterwards was slightly less fast but much deeper and actually satisfying. It released a lot of the tension i had in my chest. I dont feel angry now. Thank you so much.
I was reeeeaallly angry and I found this really helpful video.. It helped me alot and I feel alot better now and deffinately distracted from what I was thinking about... Thank you so much!
This is great exercise for releasing tension inside hands and jaw and also pelvic floor!! I have two books about bioenergetics and I dont know why they dont have these exercises!! Also boxing and the exercise from the book are good. i think its also important to validate your emotions
Wauw! That exercise with the paper ripping was soooo good for me! When I am angry I tend to turn it inward thorch myself and then I get depression, this is even the moment that I start to thing about hurting myself or have thoughts of unliving myself. So this exercise was soooo good for me. To find out that I am in destroying mode and instead of destroying myself I can destroy a paper or carton. That was amazing. (I really liked the other exercise as well, but this one with the paper was new for me) thank you so much. New subscriber here! ❤️🙏🏻
Thank you so much for this. I had a sudden and intense surge of anger and rage come up the day after an EMDR sesh, and this exercise really helped me to somatically experience and express my rage without repressing or invalidating it.
Thank you so much for this. I was having a “bpd” rage earlier but I wanted things to be different this time and not become destructive. I fell to my knees crying with the tea towel. And then afterwards I felt more compassion towards my partner ❤️ this helped me a lot and I will keep trying this when I’m angry
Wow, that is so great to hear that you were able to release some intense stress energy and feel better afterwards. Thank you for commenting your experience!
Those are some great ideas. They would have been helpful ten years ago. My dad was killed by a drunk driver in June of 2011, and I’ve had trouble moving forward. I am definitely better than I was, but I still have PTSD.
I LOVED this. 😍😍😍😍. I loved how primal it felt, especially when I was making the animal like sound and wring the dish towel. I felt like I was a wolf tearing away a prey's throat. I also loved the paper tearing. Is the desire to destroy and that sound why some of us (I mean me!!) like to eat crisps/crispy stuff....the need to feel like I can chomp down an irritant?
I just learned about one where you push against a solid wall. It works well for me. I close my eyes and press against the wall for several minutes. I think for me it wouldn't be enough to use the towel or paper, but I will keep it in mind none the less. I do find it curious that some people can have frequent angry outbursts and they appear to show no guilt about it, they are shameless, quite happy to be rude to others on a regular basis. Yet for me, I feel rage a million times a day, and each time I immediately repress it, because 'those feelings are not acceptable, I don't want to be an angry person.' Well, for the past few years, I have been working hard to analyse my thoughts and feelings every day, and journal, often for several hours each day. But I have still been triggered to anger constantly, and trying to repress it automatically. It turns out that if you keep doing that it just gets worse! So here we are.🙏🙏
Thanks for your comment. It sounds like some one-on-one Somatic work might be helpful for you around anger and the "fight response." Anger is a natural, primal emotion, but sometimes we end up with a lot of shame or fear associated with our rage. This keeps us from fully expressing and embodying it and releasing it. Finding more safety in your body and in the experience of anger might support you to feel better. Feel free to reach out if you'd like to explore a one-on-one session
this is not for everyone. When i do these exercises i actually feel in my body how i am amplifying the rage inside me. The more sensitive and delicate your nervous system is (if youre an empath or infj), the more these exercises will increase your anger and trigger it for hours after doing the exercises. For me, the release must be very gentle, way less intense, so i can feel that rage is easily flowing out. Be careful when trying these.
Thank you for sharing your experience. You are right! Somatic exercises are meant to be done gently and experimentally, to see if it feels right for your nervous system. I'm sorry you felt worse after doing this exercise.
@@EmilyWinterSE its ok, i was aware. But maybe it would be helpful to mention this in each video about somatic release. Thank you for responding in such sweet manner.
I’m sorry that you had that experience. I’m a NF and I notice that with each release (using the whole body, not this anger one), I feel less and less threatened and stuck in the feeling. I do tapping and too many other protocols (I had Resonance Repatterning sessions for about 15 years!) to list here, but over time with work, it’s easier and easier. In allowing myself to be a bit more vulnerable each time, it’s building on itself and now it readily flows out. That’s good for me because I still have a lot to let go of…have you seen Dr Peter Levines work? I hope that you will check out his videos here, his insights are supremely helpful. Find the one about the young solider that he helped with PTSD. It’s incredible to watch in real time. I wish you very well.
I'm glad the exercise helped you! It's pretty natural for different parts of our body to want to shake or tremble as we release energy. I'd only be concerned if the shaking did not stop.
I was so angry today I couldn't go on with my day but I decided it wouldn't stop me from doing the things I love. My anger often transforms into sadness and I end up crying but I find it drains me a lot. Your exercises helped me release my anger in a healthy way and I feel a lot better now. Got goosebumps all over my body after the 1st exercise. Felt really good to grind my teeth while ripping that paper, too. Thank you for what you do! 🤍
Hi! This is a really common response to releasing anger. By doing these exercises you are mobilizing stuck energy in your core/viscera. This can make emotions come all the way up to the surface to be expressed. Tears are healing.
My palms have some burning and next time I’ll take my ring off. The struggle on top of struggling with emotions is hearing instructions to release them and knowing that I need more than the suggested amt of times to practice (two or three times or one minute for example). There is 38 yrs worth of repression backed up in my heart. I know that I can choose for myself how I practice, but it does make me wonder why I can’t have results quicker.
I hear you ... Somatic exercises are great tools, but they probably won't unwind or release years of built up trauma and stress. We might need a different kind of support for that, including relational support in the form of a therapy or Somatic Experiencing session. Best wishes to you.
I somehow punched myself in the face ripping the paper 😂 Too much force haha, I guess I need something thats harder to rip apart! It did give me a good laugh after releasing the anger. Thank you for the tips ❤
Wow that actually felt pretty good 🙌🏽🙌🏽 thank you Emily! I’ve young and subscribed. Thank you for bringing this healing to the world because we need it specially those of us that are healing from CPTSD 💕
Do you have any Somatic exercises for grief? I feel I have soo much grief & sadness/hopelessness in my system but don’t know how to let it out. And I wasn’t allowed to cry growing up, so I can’t seem to release it that way either!
Thanks for your important comment. Grief takes a different course in the body than trauma, and needs to be supported differently; there isn't really a somatic tool for grief as a whole. Grief tends to come and go and get easier to carry over time; traumatic grief is when the grief is not able to process or move through or change over time. Working one-on-one with a somatic practitioner or grief specialist may support you to access those emotions that haven't yet been safe to feel. Like all emotions, grief is social: it's best healed when we are able to share it with a safe and supportive person. Best wishes on your journey. Feel free to reach out to me if you'd like to explore a one-on-one session: www.emilywintersep.com
I like these and am learning that i feel better when i do the bear growl in moderation, without scaring anyone or my pets. How about adding a dimension of the ripping of paper by first writing what you are mad about and then ripping it up? Would that work maybe??
This is not meant to be cathartic because it is done slowly with full conscious control and intention. If this feels too fast still, slow it all down even more. The release happens through feeling the exercise itself.
Thanks for bringing this up. Not every somatic exercise feels good or right for everyone, but luckily there are many ways to help your body release this "fight" response. The goal here is ultimately to engage your muscular system to use up a small dose of the angry energy, then relax your muscles and feel the release, then repeat as needed. You might explore sitting down and pushing your feet down into the floor, feeling your leg muscles engage. Hold for a few moments, then release and see if that feels better for you.
I enjoy tearing up boxes and papers so they fit in the recycling bin😂❤ I guess we already do some of these but its good to know about others i haven’t tried yet. I dont want to make myself sick holding it in… or do too much heavy lifting to get out my big feelings either. Time to do this more intentionally and stop taking sh@t.
Hi Emily, These exercises are really helpful only I wonder if it reinforces rage and sort of rewires you brain to experience it more? Does this in any way relate to the studies done showing that “venting” and expressing your anger actually creates more of it? I understand what somatic experiencing is but I can’t help but wonder
Hi Mao1132. This is a great question. Venting, or talking a lot/complaining about what makes us angry can bring up the angry feelings in our body, but may not be enough to move through/process and express the emotions associated with anger. So talking can keep us stuck in a loop sometimes. By Twisting the towel and feeling the release/relief that happens when you let go, you are mobilizing that emotional energy in the body and creating a route for it to discharge (through muscular action). If you keep twisting the towel and not feeling relief, that is a sign to slow everything down. Take a "less is more" approach so you can FEEL what is happening in your body as you twist and then release.
@@EmilyWinterSE Thank you for answering. Yes these exercises actually do work well for me. I just starting having doubts after seeing a video of a woman hitting sticks in her yard to release her anger and people were bringing up that study done on venting (including agressive behavior) saying that it only reinforces violent behavior in the brain. So I started wondering if twisting a towel for example could also apply to that situation since it is in a sense “agressive”
Yes, great question. We can totally get 'stuck in a loop' in our healthy aggression, too. The woman hitting sticks sounds a bit more like a cathartic/"big" movement of energy while in sympathetic activation, which can help to exhaust the body and send us into a shutdown state (which can feel relieving, but is only temporary). It's the equivalent of someone who cries for a very long time when they are overwhelmed; it's a way to move some energy and shift the body's physiological state but it is not bringing the nervous system into a more integrated place. The SE tools in this video are slow and done with awareness of the bodily impulses to engage muscles and then release and relax. When we are embodied like this (feeling our body), the brain is not in a state of looping/overwhelm.
Yes, you could try the paper exercise. Or, you can squeeze your hands together or squeeze the arms of your chair with your hands, instead of wringing a piece of fabric. But these exercises will work best when you can do them without holding back! :)
Do you mean that after you do intense physical activity, you find yourself doing verbal dumping on others? I’m not sure if I understand your question correctly. I want to be sure I understand what you’re asking before I answer.
Lol. So two weeks ago I lost it. I threw a bowl against the wall. I thought it felt so good I picked up a plate and flung it through the window. The need to destroy stood out for me. Because that's why I am angry. Because I feel like my life has been destroyed. (No one was harmed) Widowed.
Great, &: underneath of anger is UNFULFILLED NEEDS. Catharsis aka anger release has been shown in research to give short term relief & yet be addictive. Well Those unfulfilled needs need to be addressed or we'll keep getting angry & need to keep going back to anger releasing & short term relief. The unfulfilled needs may be very old, i.e. childhood. If we don't somehow address the old unfulfilled needs and wounds underneath of the anger, the problem remains.Therapy in various forms can get to the root. Charles Horowitz PhD
Correct. This is a non-cathartic somatic tool to help manage the intensity/level of anger. It is non-cathartic because we are moving slowly and with awareness of the exercise's effects on the body, and not overdoing it or overwhelming ourselves.
Hi! This can happen sometimes and means this may not be the right tool for you in the moment. If the exercises are just generating more energy, instead of giving you relief, I’d recommend you try a grounding exercise instead.
if someone search exercises to control anger, this video won't help, it will just contribute to build more anger - the speed, the smile, the tone, fxck
I’m sorry you didn’t find this helpful. Somatic exercises don’t work for everyone and they don’t work all the time. I hope you can find some relief another way.
I disagree as this was very helpful to me. I also believe it will not contribute to my anger because anger needs an avenue to express itself. I feel more after squeezing my hoodie and growling with no reservation. Amazing exercise Emily and God bless.
I'm sorry that this didn't work for you. Somatic exercises aren't always going to work or be the right tool for that moment. I hope you found relief another way.
You will need a piece of paper and a piece of fabric/rag/towel for this exercise.
Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction to why anger wants to be expressed in a healthy way
00:58 - Exercise one - twist with rage
3:14 - Exercise two - Desire to Destroy
I burst into tears after squeezing the towel and growling. I have so much unprocessed anger in me I just want to be happy.
I’m right there with ya!
Same
When i was a kid, everytime im having a tantrum, my parents will get mad at me bcs to them it's a negative feelings that is not deserve to be entertained. Now im 25, im healing myself and letting all the feelings come through me. But for anger, it's a special feeling i could not bury it down, i need to do something physical but not too crazy. Did both activities, and could already feel its immediate effect
I’m so glad you are letting yourself connect with and express your anger now! ☺️ Thank you for sharing your experience.
Yes unfortunately the older generation aren't very well informed in regards to anger release . Today I was told twise by my family to "CALM DOWN" . This made me more angry . People should be telling each other "LET IT ALL OUT" .
@@sergijoey8966
Just did this right now I had so much pent up. The dish rag was amazing, and the paper was just what I needed. I threw the paper everywhere afterwards and it was so incredible. I made a mess without hurting anything or hurting myself. I felt so relieved I bawled my eyes out after. I can't thank you enough, Emily! Thank you for teaching me 🙏
Paper tearing...so surprisingly damn satisfying!! I was concerned you were going to make us journal our thoughts...🤣 Thank you!
😂 haha! No journaling when you’re filled with rage! Better to tear paper to shreds! I also find it so satisfying as you can probably see in the video 😅
😂😂😂. I kno right.
I really enjoyed hearing myself growl while I did this. It feels so safe and so good to express my anger this way and it made me smile so big that I started laughing. I was trying to make myself smile all day and I didn’t think expressing my anger like this was going to do that! 💗🙏🏽 Thank you so much.
That’s awesome 🥰 thank you for commenting.
This is the first time I have heard of somatic techniques or exercises for anger but strangely enough I actually do similar things when I'm angry.
That’s so cool to see how your body’s innate wisdom has already been guiding you!
I used to have this weird habit. Whenever I got mad, I would dig my nails into my palms. It's been going on since I was a kid, I think because I was taught to bottle up my anger and never really learned how to deal with it. But I found this video, and it helps me in a way to let out stress and anger without hurting myself. It's way better and healthier. Thank you ❤
Thank you so much for this video. I have suffered from bruxism my whole life. I am anxious and wake up tense with jaw, neck and shoulder pain.
I am now aware that it comes from a childhood of people pleasing. I will try this at bedtime. Thank you 🎉❤
I’m so glad that you found some relief from these exercises. Healing from people pleasing usually does involve getting in touch with your anger - I know from personal experience as a recovering people pleaser myself ☺️ Best wishes on your journey! And thank you so much for watching.
Yes! Holding in anger -> tense jaw -> chronic pain (in my case pelvic floor problems)
These were awesome when I started growling I burst out in laughter and it completely took the anger away, thank you ❤❤❤
Thank you for this vid. It helps me a lot release my anger that causes neck pain and headache. All my childhood trauma flashback then I burst in tears... Thank you. I feel better.
Thank you for this video. I was so angry, I felt a bit of relief and started crying after.
Anger managed with the sense of safety is healthy, but anger expressed from the fear, thinking like "I have to get rid of this feeling, so I scream" does only more damage, and the feeling keeps coming back. Radical acceptance and loving compassion towards it is the way. Loving the anger part.
Yes. Safety is key to healthy expression and moving through all our emotions. ✨
This is helpful, I’ll try this. I have PTSD and a lot of anger. I once punched a punching bag for 18 minutes before I finally felt relief from rage. I’m determined not to take my anger out on others so I’m looking for healthy outlets. Thank you for the video!
That is such a sweet gift to share with angry people in need - thank you
So glad you enjoyed it.
I feel nice to finally have a proper way to release my anger
Why did i get a big smile after growling! Thank you.
Perhaps your body enjoyed getting to express some emotion!
this was extremely helpful! Especially the rag wringing. nice productive things that are safe and satisfying!
Thank you for this! I had a big smile and I felt I won and relieved when I throw the shredded papers.
I broke my teeth the other day when I was so mad at my daughter and clenched my jaw so hard…I’ll try this thank you
This is day one of me working to peacefully release store anger, and Woah, that was actually nice! To get into the anger and then release, rest. To see that it's just an emotion, just an expression. It's all ok. Thank you, I feel uplifted somehow.
That’s wonderful to hear! Thanks for watching.
THANK YOU. Very helpful. Allowing myself space to express anger is something I am working on -
That’s awesome 😊 Expressing anger is one of the keys to feeling alive!
It seems crazy to me that I felt some release just watching you tear that paper. I didn't notice till you had finished and I was breathing deeper.
That’s so cool! You were getting a release just from witnessing another’s. This shows how we all really do affect each other!
Twisting and squeezing the fabric hugely helped me. I felt my breathing afterwards was slightly less fast but much deeper and actually satisfying. It released a lot of the tension i had in my chest. I dont feel angry now. Thank you so much.
the towel growl really did it f or me thank you! subbed
Brill brill brill, so simple, so effective! Thank you for sharing, love your clear, gentle, compassionate and empowering presence and presentation
Love the facial expressions. You're really going at it.
Felt just like you stated …. Thank you, I wish to clear out as much as I can
I was reeeeaallly angry and I found this really helpful video.. It helped me alot and I feel alot better now and deffinately distracted from what I was thinking about... Thank you so much!
Wonderful to hear :)
This is great exercise for releasing tension inside hands and jaw and also pelvic floor!! I have two books about bioenergetics and I dont know why they dont have these exercises!! Also boxing and the exercise from the book are good. i think its also important to validate your emotions
Wauw! That exercise with the paper ripping was soooo good for me!
When I am angry I tend to turn it inward thorch myself and then I get depression, this is even the moment that I start to thing about hurting myself or have thoughts of unliving myself. So this exercise was soooo good for me.
To find out that I am in destroying mode and instead of destroying myself I can destroy a paper or carton. That was amazing.
(I really liked the other exercise as well, but this one with the paper was new for me)
thank you so much. New subscriber here! ❤️🙏🏻
So wonderful that you found this exercise helpful and enjoyable! 💖
Thank you so much for this. I had a sudden and intense surge of anger and rage come up the day after an EMDR sesh, and this exercise really helped me to somatically experience and express my rage without repressing or invalidating it.
I’m so glad it helped. Thanks so much for sharing your experience!
Thank you for this. I just have a hard time letting go of the situations that upset me. I kept them going and going in my mind.
Thank you so much for this. I was having a “bpd” rage earlier but I wanted things to be different this time and not become destructive. I fell to my knees crying with the tea towel. And then afterwards I felt more compassion towards my partner ❤️ this helped me a lot and I will keep trying this when I’m angry
Wow, that is so great to hear that you were able to release some intense stress energy and feel better afterwards. Thank you for commenting your experience!
They are really lucky I’m taking it out on that piece of paper
maybe seek therapy outside of youtube LMAO
Yes, they are! This is a really healthy way to process our rage without harming anyone.
@@ducciwuccihow bout shutup
@@ducciwucci Not everyone can afford therapy. And then it's a minefield trying to find a good therapist.
Thank you for this, enjoyed tearing the paper up
That’s awesome! Thanks for your comment 🥰
This is very useful. In particular for when I am at work. Thank you so much for posting.
That's awesome. These exercises are great because you can do them pretty much anywhere. Thanks for your feedback!
I am embarrassed I got so mad in the past I bit the screen out of a phone and had to spit glass on the ground. This is way cheaper. 😊
Those are some great ideas. They would have been helpful ten years ago. My dad was killed by a drunk driver in June of 2011, and I’ve had trouble moving forward. I am definitely better than I was, but I still have PTSD.
Thank you for those incredibly helpful videos! I love the scenery with beautiful flowers :)🌸
I am so glad you are enjoying :)
Tearing the paper really did a lot for me and I started to tear up. Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it! I, too, find that exercise so powerful!
I LOVED this. 😍😍😍😍.
I loved how primal it felt, especially when I was making the animal like sound and wring the dish towel. I felt like I was a wolf tearing away a prey's throat.
I also loved the paper tearing. Is the desire to destroy and that sound why some of us (I mean me!!) like to eat crisps/crispy stuff....the need to feel like I can chomp down an irritant?
So cool to feel those primal energies in a safe way! I'm so glad you found relief from these exercises. You might be right about the crisps, hehe!
Thank you ❤
I just learned about one where you push against a solid wall. It works well for me. I close my eyes and press against the wall for several minutes. I think for me it wouldn't be enough to use the towel or paper, but I will keep it in mind none the less. I do find it curious that some people can have frequent angry outbursts and they appear to show no guilt about it, they are shameless, quite happy to be rude to others on a regular basis. Yet for me, I feel rage a million times a day, and each time I immediately repress it, because 'those feelings are not acceptable, I don't want to be an angry person.' Well, for the past few years, I have been working hard to analyse my thoughts and feelings every day, and journal, often for several hours each day. But I have still been triggered to anger constantly, and trying to repress it automatically. It turns out that if you keep doing that it just gets worse! So here we are.🙏🙏
Thanks for your comment. It sounds like some one-on-one Somatic work might be helpful for you around anger and the "fight response." Anger is a natural, primal emotion, but sometimes we end up with a lot of shame or fear associated with our rage. This keeps us from fully expressing and embodying it and releasing it. Finding more safety in your body and in the experience of anger might support you to feel better. Feel free to reach out if you'd like to explore a one-on-one session
@@EmilyWinterSE Thank you, God bless!✨👍🥂💖
Thank you so much for this!
You're so welcome!
When part of my anger comes from having no clean laundry- including dish towels 😂
Good idea !!!
this is not for everyone. When i do these exercises i actually feel in my body how i am amplifying the rage inside me. The more sensitive and delicate your nervous system is (if youre an empath or infj), the more these exercises will increase your anger and trigger it for hours after doing the exercises. For me, the release must be very gentle, way less intense, so i can feel that rage is easily flowing out. Be careful when trying these.
Thank you for sharing your experience. You are right! Somatic exercises are meant to be done gently and experimentally, to see if it feels right for your nervous system. I'm sorry you felt worse after doing this exercise.
@@EmilyWinterSE its ok, i was aware. But maybe it would be helpful to mention this in each video about somatic release. Thank you for responding in such sweet manner.
I’m sorry that you had that experience.
I’m a NF and I notice that with each release (using the whole body, not this anger one), I feel less and less threatened and stuck in the feeling.
I do tapping and too many other protocols (I had Resonance Repatterning sessions for about 15 years!) to list here, but over time with work, it’s easier and easier.
In allowing myself to be a bit more vulnerable each time, it’s building on itself and now it readily flows out. That’s good for me because I still have a lot to let go of…have you seen Dr Peter Levines work? I hope that you will check out his videos here, his insights are supremely helpful. Find the one about the young solider that he helped with PTSD. It’s incredible to watch in real time.
I wish you very well.
I needed this
I really needed this ❤
I’m glad you found it 🥰
Hi thanks for this exercise you’ve been very helpful ı am just curious though my head kınd of started to shake weirdly is that normal
I'm glad the exercise helped you! It's pretty natural for different parts of our body to want to shake or tremble as we release energy. I'd only be concerned if the shaking did not stop.
@@EmilyWinterSE thanks for replying, tbh it lasts only as long as ı keep squishing the cloth
It does feel better thank you.
So glad to hear it ☺️
That was good exercise ty
I was so angry today I couldn't go on with my day but I decided it wouldn't stop me from doing the things I love. My anger often transforms into sadness and I end up crying but I find it drains me a lot. Your exercises helped me release my anger in a healthy way and I feel a lot better now. Got goosebumps all over my body after the 1st exercise. Felt really good to grind my teeth while ripping that paper, too. Thank you for what you do! 🤍
That was great! Thank you for the exercises
You're so welcome!
I started crying
Hi! This is a really common response to releasing anger. By doing these exercises you are mobilizing stuck energy in your core/viscera. This can make emotions come all the way up to the surface to be expressed. Tears are healing.
Me too!
My palms have some burning and next time I’ll take my ring off.
The struggle on top of struggling with emotions is hearing instructions to release them and knowing that I need more than the suggested amt of times to practice (two or three times or one minute for example). There is 38 yrs worth of repression backed up in my heart. I know that I can choose for myself how I practice, but it does make me wonder why I can’t have results quicker.
I hear you ... Somatic exercises are great tools, but they probably won't unwind or release years of built up trauma and stress. We might need a different kind of support for that, including relational support in the form of a therapy or Somatic Experiencing session. Best wishes to you.
I somehow punched myself in the face ripping the paper 😂 Too much force haha, I guess I need something thats harder to rip apart! It did give me a good laugh after releasing the anger. Thank you for the tips ❤
Brilliant thank you…
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for your comment!
THANK YOU!!!
This was really helpful for me! Thank you so much :)
I'm so glad it helped! Thanks for your feedback!
Wonderful! Thanks a ton.
You're very welcome!
Wow that actually felt pretty good 🙌🏽🙌🏽 thank you Emily! I’ve young and subscribed. Thank you for bringing this healing to the world because we need it specially those of us that are healing from CPTSD 💕
This was so helpful! Thank you! I am feeling much less 🤬😡🤬😡 and more 😌😌😌😌😌😌😌
Yay! I’m so glad to hear this helped. Thanks for your comment 💖
The dish towel is my preference ! Autistic son likes tearing paper. Thankyou!!
Amazing!
Thanks Emily, family drama be making me feel livid. Breathing easier after this *phew* 🙃
Glad to hear it! 🥰
wonderful, thank you
So glad you enjoyed!
Do you have any Somatic exercises for grief? I feel I have soo much grief & sadness/hopelessness in my system but don’t know how to let it out. And I wasn’t allowed to cry growing up, so I can’t seem to release it that way either!
Thanks for your important comment. Grief takes a different course in the body than trauma, and needs to be supported differently; there isn't really a somatic tool for grief as a whole. Grief tends to come and go and get easier to carry over time; traumatic grief is when the grief is not able to process or move through or change over time. Working one-on-one with a somatic practitioner or grief specialist may support you to access those emotions that haven't yet been safe to feel. Like all emotions, grief is social: it's best healed when we are able to share it with a safe and supportive person. Best wishes on your journey. Feel free to reach out to me if you'd like to explore a one-on-one session: www.emilywintersep.com
Thanks so much for your reply!
Absolutely, and thank YOU for engaging and watching 💖
I like these and am learning that i feel better when i do the bear growl in moderation, without scaring anyone or my pets.
How about adding a dimension of the ripping of paper by first writing what you are mad about and then ripping it up? Would that work maybe??
I think that's an amazing idea!
THANK YOU!
Thank you, that really helped
Wonderful to hear! You’re welcome!
i wish you spoke and demonstrated more about release phase. the way you showing is more like cathartic exercise.
This is not meant to be cathartic because it is done slowly with full conscious control and intention. If this feels too fast still, slow it all down even more. The release happens through feeling the exercise itself.
I have sensory issues. The friction when twisting the fabric triggers to hit my hands and fingers.
Is there something i can do without hands ?
Thanks for bringing this up. Not every somatic exercise feels good or right for everyone, but luckily there are many ways to help your body release this "fight" response. The goal here is ultimately to engage your muscular system to use up a small dose of the angry energy, then relax your muscles and feel the release, then repeat as needed. You might explore sitting down and pushing your feet down into the floor, feeling your leg muscles engage. Hold for a few moments, then release and see if that feels better for you.
Thank you!! 😊
Hey thanjuu😊
I enjoy tearing up boxes and papers so they fit in the recycling bin😂❤ I guess we already do some of these but its good to know about others i haven’t tried yet. I dont want to make myself sick holding it in… or do too much heavy lifting to get out my big feelings either. Time to do this more intentionally and stop taking sh@t.
First wring and started crying. What the whet!?! 😮
That’s a release of emotional energy! Great.
Hi Emily,
These exercises are really helpful only I wonder if it reinforces rage and sort of rewires you brain to experience it more? Does this in any way relate to the studies done showing that “venting” and expressing your anger actually creates more of it? I understand what somatic experiencing is but I can’t help but wonder
Hi Mao1132. This is a great question. Venting, or talking a lot/complaining about what makes us angry can bring up the angry feelings in our body, but may not be enough to move through/process and express the emotions associated with anger. So talking can keep us stuck in a loop sometimes. By Twisting the towel and feeling the release/relief that happens when you let go, you are mobilizing that emotional energy in the body and creating a route for it to discharge (through muscular action). If you keep twisting the towel and not feeling relief, that is a sign to slow everything down. Take a "less is more" approach so you can FEEL what is happening in your body as you twist and then release.
@@EmilyWinterSE Thank you for answering. Yes these exercises actually do work well for me. I just starting having doubts after seeing a video of a woman hitting sticks in her yard to release her anger and people were bringing up that study done on venting (including agressive behavior) saying that it only reinforces violent behavior in the brain. So I started wondering if twisting a towel for example could also apply to that situation since it is in a sense “agressive”
Yes, great question. We can totally get 'stuck in a loop' in our healthy aggression, too. The woman hitting sticks sounds a bit more like a cathartic/"big" movement of energy while in sympathetic activation, which can help to exhaust the body and send us into a shutdown state (which can feel relieving, but is only temporary). It's the equivalent of someone who cries for a very long time when they are overwhelmed; it's a way to move some energy and shift the body's physiological state but it is not bringing the nervous system into a more integrated place. The SE tools in this video are slow and done with awareness of the bodily impulses to engage muscles and then release and relax. When we are embodied like this (feeling our body), the brain is not in a state of looping/overwhelm.
@@EmilyWinterSEthank you, that’s very informative!
Thank You very mutch! And when we are not alone, what we can do? The Paper exercise? :D
Yes, you could try the paper exercise. Or, you can squeeze your hands together or squeeze the arms of your chair with your hands, instead of wringing a piece of fabric. But these exercises will work best when you can do them without holding back! :)
What if you don't see the trigger coming? Like an uncontrolled verbal dump, which occurs after intense physical activity? Thank you. GAD.
Do you mean that after you do intense physical activity, you find yourself doing verbal dumping on others? I’m not sure if I understand your question correctly. I want to be sure I understand what you’re asking before I answer.
Lol.
So two weeks ago I lost it. I threw a bowl against the wall. I thought it felt so good I picked up a plate and flung it through the window. The need to destroy stood out for me. Because that's why I am angry. Because I feel like my life has been destroyed.
(No one was harmed)
Widowed.
These impulses are so natural. We just have bad examples of how to express it without harming others. These are great examples. Love to you.
No wonder my cuban mother loved cleaning the floors ragefully lmao
Is it a good thing if you start crying when squeezing the towel?
It's very natural and common for this exercise to create an emotional release. I'd say it's a good thing :)
Great, &: underneath of anger is UNFULFILLED NEEDS. Catharsis aka anger release has been shown in research to give short term relief & yet be addictive. Well Those unfulfilled needs need to be addressed or we'll keep getting angry & need to keep going back to anger releasing & short term relief. The unfulfilled needs may be very old, i.e. childhood. If we don't somehow address the old unfulfilled needs and wounds underneath of the anger, the problem remains.Therapy in various forms can get to the root. Charles Horowitz PhD
Correct. This is a non-cathartic somatic tool to help manage the intensity/level of anger. It is non-cathartic because we are moving slowly and with awareness of the exercise's effects on the body, and not overdoing it or overwhelming ourselves.
I keep getting a burn from the friction of the towel
You might try pushing your hands together instead, as another way to use your muscular action, and don’t use the towel.
This is so unserious LMAOO
It's meant to be a playful and safe way to express anger. It's not for everyone.
My tea towel's dead...😢
thanks i laughed
What if you just feel more mad when you do these
Hi! This can happen sometimes and means this may not be the right tool for you in the moment. If the exercises are just generating more energy, instead of giving you relief, I’d recommend you try a grounding exercise instead.
thanks :)
@@EmilyWinterSE
Papercuts would make me a lot more angry 😅
Hehe, we must be careful with the paper tearing 😅
This made me feel worse. Thanks
Sorry to hear that.
if someone search exercises to control anger, this video won't help, it will just contribute to build more anger - the speed, the smile, the tone, fxck
I’m sorry you didn’t find this helpful. Somatic exercises don’t work for everyone and they don’t work all the time. I hope you can find some relief another way.
I disagree as this was very helpful to me. I also believe it will not contribute to my anger because anger needs an avenue to express itself. I feel more after squeezing my hoodie and growling with no reservation. Amazing exercise Emily and God bless.
This doesn't work! Makes it worse! 👎
I'm sorry that this didn't work for you. Somatic exercises aren't always going to work or be the right tool for that moment. I hope you found relief another way.
Amateur hour with this woman. LMAO, just foolishness. Someone pisses me off and I go get a dish towel to twist? And I growl? Comical af.
Hey, I get it, it’s not for everyone! 😁
Did you actually try it, Ronnie?
Professional hour with this woman. Lmao, such wisdom. The paper towel one worked extremely well for me and I will definitely be doing more of it.