Was the Bad Vegan a Victim or a Perpetrator? | Sarma Melngailis and Anthony Strangis Case Analysis
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- Опубліковано 19 чер 2024
- This video answers the question: Can I analyze the case of Sarma Melngailis and Anthony Strangis? Support Dr. Grande on Patreon: / drgrande
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After watching the Netflix documentary my biggest concern was that Sarma didn't seem sorry at all about how she treated her investors and employees.
Because to her, its "not her fault"
The money she made from Netflix went to the employees
She is sorry but they edited that out of series
@@user-uo3tm1dv5i of course Netflix edited it out. Netflix is a problem
Her affect was pretty flat; meds?
IDK why any woman who was playing with a full deck would have given Anthony more than 10 minutes of time. Sarma had some screws loose somewhere.
for sure😵🤦🏻♀️
Because he was manipulative, charming, presented himself as someone else and she may not see it in the first place? That’s what these type of men do, love bombing at the beginning, and then trauma bonding follows. of course when they drop the mask,there is nothing attractive about them, but unless u know, u don’t leave person just because they have extra pounds. Plus to keep her in the loop, he owned her money. They find something on you. She seems to be a person that gets to talk to homeless people, u are right, most people do not give a damm. Having said that, she believed in some pretty weird stuff and I think wanting your dog to be immortal- why would you do that unless you believe that u are immortal? I love my dog but when it’s her time, I need to let go knowing that love is with me for the rest of my life. So he played her on that. The whole forever, always, never…red flags!
Screws sold separately
@@nothingworksworks3511 Personally, I WOULD argue that anyone who has been brainwashed to believe that a god watches their every move, judging them for it, and that miracles are possible IS "unstable" in their thinking. History has proven that again and again.
trail runner 925: yeeeesss, now we're talking. Major screw loose... As in: 'Who in their right mind' would go along with somebody like Anthony??????
I think one of the saddest things in this unbelievable saga is that Sarma's mother lost all of her retirement money.
Sarma kept saying “and I feel like I have a part in that” not even taking 100% blame. Sad.
People that come from money never "lose" money.
I hate to say it but a sucker is born every day
@@maryfrancesbeckerhaggerty5353 why do you think they never “lose” money?
Sarma’s mother trusted a stranger who said Give me money for your daughter’s welfare and don’t tell her. Why do you think any parent would believe a stranger over the daughter they raised and agree not to tell the daughter?
You know what Navy Seals rarely do? They rarely tell anyone that they’re a Navy Seal! You know what else? They rarely let themselves get obese! Good job, Dr. Grande, as ever!
I knew a guy who claimed to have been a Navy Seal and he was quite overweight. I had no reason to disbelieve him. He wasn't asking for anything and wasn't one to tell a lot of tall tails. Why would they be less likely to get obese after they leave service? Lots of ex-military people go on to be like anyone else and gain weight.
@@Marnee4191 I only learn basic English, but I'm pretty sure 'are' and 'claimed to have been' aren't quite the same thing.
@rumvanillaacid Definitely true. That's why I pointed out I had no reason to disbelieve him. That is meant to confirm that I am not certain.
"There must be limits as to how much can be forgiven due to gullibility."
Correct. We are not robots. As humans we have choice and advanced reasoning skills. It is our responsibility to use it.
Rainbows & unicorns win the day 🌈 🦄
No limits, consider the mass suicide of the Apple white group, Manson's group etc.
Sick burn, as they say.
I dont beleive she was gullible. I think she liked the lifestyle Anthony was creating with the money she gave him while also distancing herself from the fact that she was stealing from others knowingly. In the documentary, she never to ownership of anything, not even that she was fooled. No. Rather she bece defensive. Like when she asked "What was she suppose to do?" As if she still has no idea what she could have done different.
Lol her defense basically boiled down to, "I'm just an idiot".
lol so true
This is sad.
😂 that's the gist of most people's defense
Not bad! Most of people don’t even realise that and keep making excuses
I live for Dr. Grande’s sarcasm “Hilaria was eating gazpacho and reading Don Quixote”. 😂🤣😂
Omg hilarious so cool too 😂😂
Oh, not only was she reading Don Quixote, she was having *vegan* gazpacho. 😆
"She then officially changed her name to Empress Moonbeam and created a cult of star spirit worshipers."
@@goranbreskic4304 🥒💃🏼🥒
@@goranbreskic4304I'm sure she enjoyed it with some pure vegan water!
I felt pretty bad for Leon. He seemed to have the most stable personality of any of the 3 of them and he deserved better.
The fact that she didn't respond to employees when they texted concerns makes me think she wasn't fully innocent. I think she liked the excitement Anthony brought because she's a typical bored person who just wants to be super special. She was born into some money so she didn't put a lot of importance on throwing it around.
Or she couldn’t admit to herself that she was being played. This happens a lot to people ripped off by online scams. They keep sending more money for the same reason…not admitting they have been duped.
@@sabias3932 Yea the victim angle is total BS.She is a nutjob and continually used "i cant remember" when asked tough questions
Exactly! She was a total narcissist herself. The public is who’s gullible to even consider the idea that she’s a victim just because she’s skinny white and blonde. She has absolutely no integrity no morals no values and she was totally obsessed with having a dog live forever. She’s the most self-absorbed self obsessed piece of garbage I have ever seen. And ends up that she was a huge waste of money a really really bad investment not unlike Donald Trump. By the way Trump also did the same bullshit to his own employees by not paying them! People only gave him the benefit of the doubt because of his social standing being that he is white and male and rich. This is all bullshit.
@ScienceFraction of course you believe “she was the victim”. Your comment reminds me of the saying:
“Women want the Power of a man, the Privilege of a woman, and the Accountability of a child.
@ScienceFraction yawn
I thought Sarma dodged a bullet not becoming romantically involved with Alec Baldwin...but then she met Anthony. 😳😳
dodge a bullet - indeed
No Alec Baldwin dodged the bullet
@@queenofhearts7507 i feel like the words alec baldwin and bullet in one sentence can only describe one particular scenario
Yeah that ghost gun prop
as Sarma’s former landlord, I can attest to the fact that the lying and manipulation preceded Shane by MANY years. Basically, she stole tips from kids who trusted and admired her, never showed an iota of remorse, and persists in casting herself in the role of victim. Omitted- Im not certain as to why- is the physical attack she perpetrated against former beau and business partner Matthew Kenney, and the desperation with which her backer worked to “back out” of involvement with her. She is someone who milks the lovely surface of her beauty for maximum sympathy and personal benefit. She has largely left my family in ruin- having removed all the ventilation from the raw vegan restaurant. This is a vicious manipulator who has been depicted extremely favorably by Netflix.
I’m so sorry you went through that. For sure there’s some darkness there…
I definitely found it odd when she was throwing tantrums in the hotels while she was on the run in the video footage.
It showed an unstable and erratic individual and because of this I don’t believe for a second that she is really how she was portrayed on the Netflix show.
Jeez louise
I agree she's a very manipulative person. I can't believe people actually believed her story.
Ok Anthony.
Well I'm not sure about being depicted favourable. Maybe that was her plan with this documentary, but to me, and many other people, after watching the whole thing, she looked like a selfish manipulative cunt.
I'm really sorry for what she did to you and your family, hope you manage to get back on your feet.
After watching it, I was so confused and couldn’t believe some people’s mentality.
She clearly doesn’t take any accountability for her role in this scam…🤔
I firmly believed she was manipulated but culpable in the whole scheme…right until the audio from that phone call after she got out of prison. It’s difficult to believe she would be so open to have a lighthearted conversation with someone who, for all intents and purposes, ruined her life. Spending any time on Rikers Island would be life changing, not for the better.
She's both. She knew at some point that she was being scammed and just went along with it. She's also a horrible employer. No one in their right mind would give her another chance to run another restaurant. If you never cared about your employees knowing they won't get their salaries, you are a horrible person and a no-good employer and should never be trusted to even manage a restaurant.
I'm not sure it worked that way. I think the suffering of her employees forced her deeper into the fantasy world exactly because she cared so much about them. The more horrible reality became, the more terrible her behavior, the more impossible it became for her choose the real world.
Like yall almost forget that the employees said they were treated well before she met Anthony. Did y’all even watch the documentary 💀
@@angxlpeach right! And: in the first place she lost all of her own money, let's not forget that either.
My take on Sarma after watching the documentary was that she grew up beautiful, privileged, and VERY sheltered. She’s obviously capable on a cognitive level but has some major gaps in judgment and common sense. We really can’t know what a person is made of until they have to overcome some type of adversity
I like you comment and was thinking the same while watching series
Yes this is the comment I was looking for. Also the wealthy and privileged often have an inner circle that helps prop them up if they are deficient in those areas so they look like they know what they are doing.
@@beekind5704 Absolutely
she grew up so sheltered she believed believed a man that told her that he would make her and her dog eternal after she gave him 100k? wuuuuuuut. nah. that has nothing to do with being sheltered. she was a kook
@@GorgieClarissa at some point during the documentary you begin to wonder if she’s okay 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
So glad you’re covering this! As I was watching, was really wondering “what is Dr. Grande going to say about THIS?” Thank you! 🙏🏽🌞
Me too!!! And felt a weird sense of pride 🤣 Dr Grande's in my head and I am pretty happy about it
I often end up wondering what the good doctor might think
Me too 💯🤣
After watching the documentary, at the end of the documentary she was laughing and joking with Anthony as if she beaming with pride that she barely did time. Not once did she show any remorse for not paying her employees. She never questioned where her money was going when she was wiring that money to him. I feel that she was with Anthony on stealing all that money.
I wanted to know too!! This docu blew my mind. I find her story utterly fraudulent.
"He spoke her language of nonsense" hahahaha that made me legitimately laugh out loud. Well put, sir.
Both are perps, no victim in this arrangement. Both were willing to be deceptive and larcenous for entirely selfish reasons.
and sarma was exceedingly stupid
I concur well put
She committed crimes and took responsibility but in the relationship she was definitely a victim. He victimized tf out of her.
@@fighterflight
yeah sure, when a woman does a crime, then, well, yes, because she is female, obviously it is not a big crime, because she is a female.
now i am sure the bloke that "victimized" her could find reasons why he is not guilty.
@@fighterflight No, she wanted to be a god. Probably the most self centered and selfish motive of all, even if it is looney.
“He spoke her language of nonsense”. I think your doing a great service for everyone. Calling it as it is, not sugarcoating the bs.
Dr. Grande's deadpan humor is everything
Ugh. I actually think he’s just unprofessionally snarky, not funny.
So much this
I really hate how people are using her to somehow show that veganism and vegans are bad people. Just because someone lives a vegan lifestyle doesn’t mean they’re a good person when it comes to other aspects of their lives.
We know they are bad people by how they treat others and use animals as an excuse to treat people like crap, meaning they don’t really care even about the animals. The ones who don’t act abominably no one hates. But as a collective, this is true of vegans. I would never want to be associated with the vegan lifestyle even if I quietly gave up eating meat. I’d pretend to eat some just to avoid supporting cruelty to fellow humans by appearing to support veganism.
Goes to show that being vegan isn't and identity like some people try to make it 😂
I'm a vegan and not weird or manipulative like these people. I don't have guilt issues, either. I just don't want to harm or eat animals.
That's completely fair! Unfortunately examples like this case can create bad stereotype of vegans being delusional and gullible.
Same here….. I found that comment about vegans odd. The same way most people don’t like the thought of a cat or dog getting killed, I feel that way about all animals.
Agree. Her food choices are irrelevant to this case.
That is YOU.. Not other vegans.. Vegans are often very fanatical and single minded. They moralize over meat eaters, and try to force meat eating people to become vegans by shaming them. I find them completely laughable. I am a HUGE animal lover myself. But i don`t eat my pets, so i think eating meat is ok. Why vegans have a problem with milk and eggs is also extremely weird to me. An egg is something that comes out of a hens ass every single day, and you don`t have to kill a cow to drink it`s milk. I find many vegans annoying and preachy. They think they are better than meat eaters which is not true. Vegans also seems to have a huge dislike of other human beings. While being extremely empathetic to a dog or a cat in need, they couldn`t care less about a human beings suffering. That is not very healthy to me, and very bisarre. I am perfectly able to feel empathy for both humans and animals who are suffering. I don`t feel like i have to pick and choose. Just my thoughts. There are perfectly normal vegan people of course who love other human beings and don`t feel the need to preach about their diet to other people.
Nah, she's a raw vegan, that's another level of vegan that hasn't had b12 in years. They're a lot more prone to getting into shenanigans like feeding newborns nothing but potatoe juice.
They were both guilty. During the doc she kept saying she didn't know they were on the run, didn't know he asked her mom for 450k, didn't know why she changed her name and covered her tattoos when they left NY. No accountability. I thought I'd feel bad for her but I literally spent most of the time screaming at the TV. Only victim is the investors and her employees
THANK YOU! i was feeling this way too, she knew what she’s doing and the way she talks about her innocence in the documentary stressed me out so much
I felt same , she didn’t know anything at all it was annoying at some point
Interesting point about gambling not having that self-limiting aspect that drug abuse can have. I'd never thought of that.
I have mixed feelings about this. I was in a relationship for a brief period of time with this type of person. I was in my twenties, and finally caught on due to my friends, butI was absolutely convinced that he was a Navy Seal and that he was a MENSA member . This was many years ago, but the documentary made me look him up. He died last year, and for some strange reason I feel relieved.He really messed with my head, and now I feel guilty for feeling relieved he’s gone. Please, stay away from narcissistic sociopaths. They’ll still haunt you 30 years later.
Did you mean something else instead of MENSA? MENSA is just a club that practically anyone can join as long as you're willing to pay dues. You don't have to be particularly intelligent to be accepted. If your boyfriend bragged about being a member of MENSA, it means absolutely nothing other than he was duped out of a little cash
@@MagerialPage Sarma was the con artist not Anthony. She wanted the money, lifestyle in Europe etc. She set Anthony up so she could look like the victim. The videos of her laying on the bed, crying on the floor was all staged by her. Anthony was a dufuss. How about the ‘last’ phone call when they are both laughing. Yup, they stold $6,000,000 and did almost no jail time. She is a self centered psycho.
Easier said than done, as your story shows. I am happy if I manage to be a victim instead of the narcissist sociopath, because there’s darkness in all of us and I don’t want to be a force of destruction.
@@MagerialPage you have to pass a test to get into Mensa. Not anyone can join....
@@CraftyMagicDollz The test isn't hard though. I've taken it before. Anyone of average intelligence can pass it, but they tell you that you have to be gifted to pass it bc they want your money. That's the entire point of the society, to make money off people who want to say they are smart. The commenter said "I was convinced that he was...[part of] Mensa," as if it's something impressive or freaky and I'm here to say that, objectively speaking, it's just not.
I am vegan, and not at all prone to magical thinking or guilt transference. I am a believer in evidence, not faith. I don’t eat animals because I don’t need to. I take personal responsibility not to contribute to the cruelty of the meat and dairy “industry” and the degradation of the planet. There is concrete science and morality behind my decision. I am a retired nurse in my 70s, ideal weight, clear complexion, energetic and healthy. I don’t ridicule others for what they choose to eat, and I don’t announce my preferences to others when invited to dinner.
I hope to be as healthy and level headed when I'm your age. I also don't believe in magic, nor do I believe in inflecting unnecessary suffering onto other creatures. I'm not sure where this magic + vegan thing came from, honestly. It seems so out there. lol
Thank you for your intelligent comment. I agree with your thoughts and lifestyle and I am also a vegan
I'm an omnivore, and also a believer in evidence, not faith. I eat plants AND animals because I'm biologically wired like bears, baboons and thousands of other species to do so. I don't shame the meat or dairy industry for breeding and farming animals as an essential resource and appreciate those transparent enough to record evidence of their humane treatment of said animals. I comprehend that electric car batteries and solar panels are made of unsustainable materials, that windmills kill birds, and that nuclear energy is the cleanest burning of all. There is concrete science and morality behind my decision. My weight, complexion, energy and health are immaterial to that point. My aunt, who ate mayonnaise for dinner, never went to the doctor and lived to 87. I don't ridicule others for what they choose to eat, and I don't announce MY preferences to others when invited to dinner.
@@jodi2847 I make the observation as to my health because a vegan diet is frequently and erroneously disparaged as lacking protein, which it is not. Animals ARE subjected to cruelty on a vast scale. Dairy and slaughter operations are concealed from consumers for this reason. The cows depicted on the side of the milk carton as “happy” are not happy. The “cage free” chickens are crammed together in vast dark barns. I forced myself to watch the undercover videos. They broke my heart.
Out of genuine curiosity, how do you deal with being invited to dinner and not wanting to talk about it?
Listening to their phone convos I just can’t imagine how someone could stay with a man that talks to her like that. It’s very degrading but mostly it was just so annoying - the constant yelling and anger. It’s not like she was a nobody or was ugly. She was very pretty and successful and could’ve gotten someone so much better. Also why would a Black Ops navy seal be fat? So many red flags. There’s no way I don’t think she noticed
Even a person who's ugly or a "nobody" shouldn't be spoken to that way.
@@blippypippy8167 EXACTLY... Society has such twisted concepts about who is and is not deserving of respect, love, or even life. Even on shows Dateline they always talk about the victim being pretty, as if to say "It's one thing to kill an uggo, but killing pretty people is unjustified 😡"
Everybody is somebody as long as they exist 🙄
@@Whol3NothaL3v3l oh YES.......and pretty girls from certain backgrounds get protected in those "Dateline" type episodes, too.
I thought the same thing. All of the phone conversations between them shown in the documentary were him yelling at her. Dropping F bombs every two other words. I don’t know how anybody can remain in a relationship with someone like that. Listen to those conversations, it sounded like he did nothing but bring stress and hostility into her life. I would’ve dumped him after a week of that.
I was married to a gambling addict…in Las Vegas, so you can imagine how that went. It truly is a terrible & destructive addiction.
I love it when you talk about personality disorders
Do you mind my asking, did your husband ever win any sizeable amount ? If so, did he just continue to play and give it all back and then some ?
@@brucejohnson9696 yeah. Nothing huge or anything, but even moderate amounts can cause addicts to keep gambling. It’s all designed to breadcrumb people like that, as I’m sure you know. They feel that sense of excitement & that enforces why they do it. I worked with a lady who did win a lot of good jackpots so it seemed she was in the red, but she’d gamble again the next day. What drove me nuts was all the video poker machines in convenient stores & grocery stores, because a short trip could turn into an hour or two. There are lots of people who can just throw some minor amount of money into a machine when out once in a blue moon & not feel enticed to do more (including me) & that’s fine. It’s such a different thing for addicts, obviously.
@@karifoto Thanks for your insightful response. Anything that stimulates dopamine can be dangerously habit-forming for certain personalities.
I study the odds and strategies of the games, and have had some minor success. Poker is the only game that I know of that can be won consistently based on skill, not just luck.
Even though I am thoroughly familiar with the odds, even I have struggled somewhat with greed and not quitting while I was ahead.
The latter is equally, if not even more, important than using the best playing strategy.
If a person manages to get up in their winnings, if they stay in the game it is much more likely that they will give it all back than continue to win even more.
I think compulsive gamblers suffer from greed, desperation, magical thinking etc. They start chasing losses with the escapist fantasy of hitting the "big one".
This usually leads to depression, anger etc. Some personalities aren't able to gamble responsibly, just like an alcoholic can't drink in moderation.
@@brucejohnson9696 you’re welcome:)
It obviously depends on the individual, but I don’t think it’s driven by greed & desperation as much, because they genuinely enjoy gambling. Like you said, though, that dopamine hit is powerful. (Dopamine is addictive to all of us) They’re chasing that next win, so they can get that hit, while also feeling like the losses weren’t so bad & even justifiable. They want to keep being able to do it. I’ve only known two people who were addicted to it, so I could be wrong on that & I’m surely no expert. (Did I just call myself Shirley? Lol… ‘Airplane’ humor;) Gambling definitely goes hand in hand with things like drinking & drugs though. That’s a bad combo that multiplies the compulsion they feel. There is likely a lot of greed, desperation & misery in those cases. It’s sad how casinos exploit all that.
@@karifoto A family member of mine is a gambling addict. If he loses, he gambles to win that money back. If he wins,:that proves gambling is profitable. He works hard and then hits the convenience store machine until the money he earned is gone. If he is asked for money for utilities by his roommate, he debates the amount or says he paid it all last month. It is a sad, and infuriating, thing to witness.
It boggles me how she fell for his nutso BS and dissed her loyal employees/friends. He was so creepy I don't know what any woman could see in him!
can’t believe how she could fall for this kind of scam when obviously she was intelligent for business
Was she really intelligent in business or did she just know a lot of people with money
She was not smart in business...she built good relationships and seemed to enjoy her work. the business was thriving but she initially took in a lot of debt when she bought the business.
It’s like when people join cults. Hard to understand from the outside but many intelligent people have done it. Some people are very good at finding vulnerabilities and exploiting them to the fullest.
@@angelasauceda7548 Just because she took on debt doesn’t make her bad at business. Most businesses require debt.
Noticed how she always got a loan from someone? Yeah she deserved to get scammed .
Thank you so much for this! I mean, I felt I suffered 4 hours watching that documentary. To imagine that you have to do the same and study it then come up with your analysis...my hat's off for you, Doc.
Tracy S, I agree that the documentary was way long and I could tell that Dr. Grande probably did not enjoy going through it. But, anything for his viewers and thank you Dr, Grande.
"Victim or perpetrator" it sounds like the documentary created many victims!😄
Lol lol 😂 Same here. I couldn’t watch the documentary to the end.
I’m stuck on the gullible part, how on earth could anyone really fall for such blatant BS! He was hardly subtle…..
I don’t think being a vegan has anything to do with the case. The big question should be “Why did a sometimes smart, pretty woman have trouble finding someone?”
I was wondering the same when I watched. You're telling me that a cute, petite blonde woman from Latvia couldn't find a single decent guy in New York City?
I thought the same, especially why was her food preferences even relevant to this bizarre case?
@@elco2737 because the doc thinks veganism is pointless, seems like taking a jab at the lifestyle that is one of the ways to save the planet. He also denies anything spiritual so that’s why he lives as a soulless corpse who hates his existence. He does make good videos when he doesn’t sh+t on those topics.
@@supercasualtarot4861 She wasn't looking for a decent guy. She was looking for a rich, decent guy. THAT is EXTREMELY difficult.
She wanted a rich thug.
I don't know how this intelligent woman can succumb to Anthony's mind manipulation.
Sarma is a beautiful, intelligent woman, yet she must have had some sort of self loathing to allow Anthony to deplete her not only financially but make her doubt her reality.
Did you catch the part about a "restaurant", that served "raw" food. The world is full of people who will fall for any story, or anything. Here's your plate of carrot sticks, that'll be $149.
@@chuckrobinson599 I concur. I do not think a pretentious yuppie, taking out a bunch of loans to open a business that sells stuff to other pretentious yuppies is a sign of intelligence. I also found it comical that her defense was the classic “a man made me do it”.
People can be successful in life, but desperate in love.
@Rinner cringe edge-boi take.
How do so many seemingly intelligent people fall for that “church” that shall not be named and sink millions of dollars into holding tin cans and being manipulated?Book smart doesn’t mean they have common sense.
Afternoon Dr. G., An intriguing post about gullibility, manipulation and narcissistic behavior. Thanks for the enlightening perspective.
he seems like the opposite of the kind of guy that an attractive cosmopolitan vegan would go for. I can't understand why she was impressed with all the military stuff. I thought vegans were against that too.
Vegans are against animal exploitation so that makes no sense.
She thought he was very wealthy
@@ltovar34 like and she felt vulnerable and he could protect her with his money? wierd how she didn't need any proof. also wouldn't there have been wealthy vegan people in her social circle?
Maybe she was attracted to the danger?
Why would vegans be against the military? There’s literally some vegans IN the military…
When I watched the documentary I found her statement about the possible relationship with Alec to be random and had no purpose. Was it her way of saying my life would have been different only if? And how could anyone seriously believe someone could make their dog immortal? 🤷♀️🤦♀️
Thanks so much for doing this one, Dr. Guru! So lemme get this straight. Neither decades on Earth NOR an expensive degree from Penn have to hinder you from being the queen of a utopia in the clouds with your immortal dog after shoveling over hundreds of thousands of dollars to someone who gets fat just for you! Do I have that right?
Maybe she's just a major 'Mother Theresa of Calcutta' type - feeling good about helping losers and befriending the homeless? I have family members who are like that, and have married men who'd be considered 'beneath them' because they believe in their own powers to 'make something of them'. Invariably they are abused or scammed, but they carry on believing in their powers to make losers into success stories.
I don't like her!! She let that con artist steal her own mother's life savings that she needed to retire on!! That's unforgivable and inexcusable!! And after he failed to repay the first $10,000 I wouldn't have given him another dime! She knew money was leaving her business too! She's either guilty as sin or dumb as a box of rocks!! Great video Dr. Grande!!!
Wow. That guy's claims were some of the stupidest I have heard in a long time, and the fact that she believed them (or that she even wanted to) is beyond sad. How does one have a "normal" life after such actions?
I'm getting the impression you aren't a New Age vegan star-worshipper.
@@avalonjustin Let's just say, "[my} mind is not for rent to any god or government."
Drug addled brains!
An inspiring story for all lazy, broke, unemployed, out of shape, and larcenous losers. Your soulmate is out there somewhere.
Bro those guy are always set, the more messed up the more women want them. Do you know how many women watched Anthony in this documentary and said to themselves “I can change him.” Netflix did this dude a favor he is set for life, and I am sure he is running another scam on another woman with a savior complex, hence why he didn’t want to appear on the docuseries, so it doesn’t mess up what ever else he has going on. I have a brother like this guy… seen it all, and it amazes me how many beautiful women have so many screw looses in their head. They fight over who gets to take him home to take care of him.🤦🏻♂️
@@juanonmashin4293 facts! It’s like when they can change the “bad Boy” but can’t then complain, but stay
@@Ishitonyou666Not every woman is so ridiculously delusional!! 🙄🤦
It's not just the vegan community in which magical thinking runs rampant. The raw vegan community is even worse. I got sucked into the cult-like raw vegan world when I was a teenager and following the advice of a bunch of "gurus" nearly destroyed my life.
I went to Sarma's restaurant (which was surprisingly delicious), and owned hers and Matthew's recipe book. At the time, seeing her as this smart, well-educated, beautiful, vegan business owner, she was kind of a role model to me.
However, she always struck me as strange and I couldn't quite figure out why. She just seemed a little stiff and dead behind the eyes. I stopped paying attention to her around the time she was arrested; I was so deeply indoctrinated by veganism back then that I was more turned off by her eating non-vegan food than her criminal activity.
Reflecting on all of this - her odd, flat affect, her gullibility, and susceptibility to manipulation - I wonder if she might be on the autism spectrum.
Wow ....you could be right...wow...
"I was so deeply indoctrinated by veganism" You mean you were indoctrinated by the people who happened to be vegan. Not veganism itself as that isn't a person.
Yeees. I felt her to be a flat liner-nothing going on behind those eyes, no activity, no connection. Very unnerving to watch her speak without expression/emotion. I suspect no ability to accurately connect to right/wrong, safety/danger, etc.
I'm vegan, but fully aware of the crazy ones. There are very few raw vegans who eat food like they should. It seems it's either 80 bananas a day and then a big salad or leafy greens and a bunch of "juice cleanses" and what not. Cooking is a great invention. It protects us against mean bacteria, makes food more digestible, easier to chew, makes food last longer and allows us to create a variety of flavours in a way that is really hard do create with only raw ingredients. You *can* eat only raw if you know what to eat and how, but why? It's not needed and makes life more complicated.
Veganism is about reducing your harm to others. I’m sorry a community of self proclaimed vegans treated you in this culty manner. We get a bad wrap because some people like to use veganism to pretend like they are better than other people, then turn around and manipulate others.
Recently, there seems to be a rash of documentaries about scammers, gas lighters and the like. It is fascinating in a weird way, but "Bad Vegan" could have been told in less than four hours, it's repetitious and really drags. I love the way Dr. Grande calls out poseurs.
Oh this is PERFECT!
I just walked out the door of my job, now I get to listen to Dr. Grande on my ride home.niiiiice😎
I understood from the documentary that Sarma did not have sexual feelings toward Anthony. They seemed to be using each other financially, although Anthony benefited the most because of his lies.
I just finished watching that entire documentary. I was blown away on how well this guy wiggled his way into all these people's lives and there pocket books
I was waiting for this analysis. Thanks for explaining how Sarma could be a victim but still partially responsible for being too gullible.
The Netflix documentary is strange to me because in the calls, she sounds like she can’t stand Anthony. Maybe these weren’t the actual calls and they were not getting the tone right. She sounded like he was a nuisance that she couldn’t stand. Not a man she was “following” or in a relationship with.
In the documentary she said that she started to hate him, she was disgusted by him, they had different bedrooms.
That type of dynamic is very common in a codependent relationship. I believe that she was completely full of contempt for him, but could not escape her addiction to "excel" in the made up "challenges" he threw in her way, or generally feeling to be "the better one" in the relationship. She seems to be an exceedingly competitive person, and that man somehow seems to have short circuited her desire to always appear to be superior in his favor. His addiction is gambling and pathological lying, her addiction seems to be being successful and "better" than other people. Dangerous combination. Hope this makes sense.
I've been the victim of narcissism , and until I learned this term and studied what it really meant, I had no idea how hateful, cold and evil these people really are. Time and time again narcissistic con artists flatter and deceive lonely women. They study them, groom them and then become their ideal "saviour". Sarma is not the first beautiful, intelligent woman to be taken in in this way. When I watched the documentary, what stood out to me most was how she CONTINUALLY pushed aside her gut instincts. As I've looked back on my relationships with narcissists I can see how I did the same - red flags are the words we use to describe that feeling in your gut that something is off. Depending on our own upbringing, life values, experiences, needs etc, sorting out what to believe can be very complicated! One has to dig very deep, peel back layers to figure out why we have certain behaviours and beliefs, where they come from and what drives us. It's not only men who are narcissists of course. Empathic men such as Will Smith and Prince Harry have also been targeted by deceptive narcissistic women, and we see them doing very out of character things as a result.
When you've never ever been treated so badly, and the treatment is 100x worse than the worst you've ever experienced, or seen, or even seen in a movie or on TV! - You just can't make your brain believe it is actually happening. Because NO ONE could be THIS BAD! It's SUCH a mind F. She could be (and talk) tough, but i could see she kept going with it, despite herself. He was gross in every way, and she put up with all this on top of THAT! She was lost, I believe. And of course I was taken by her coldness about how her actions affected all those other people. But apparently that was not her true nature ever, before the evil slob entered her life. He pulled the same stuff on his ex-wife and she was sucked in too. And she was no dummy either. When you're nice,you expect others are the same. And give benefit of the doubt for much too long, but by then, you're a shell of who you once were. It's sad and ruined her and all those around her.
This is a great comment, with lots of nuance. I have been on both sides of the fence, reeling in vulnerable men and also being reeled in by men who were more manipulative than I. You are right that it takes a lot of introspection and deep work to peel back the layers. For me I have never quite figured out how to handle a relationship and I understand, to a degree, how Sarma could give herself away like this. She seemed very very lonely and disconnected from herself. Some of her testimony made me think she might be a little bit on the spectrum.
Spot on
I was with you until the Meghan = Jada nonsense at the end. Sigh.
@@lisamcdonald2877 I'm not sure what you mean by nonsense, you don't think women can be narcissists? Or just that they are such high profile and famous men they couldn't possibly be taken in? Seriously, how many girls who marry a genuine Prince then want to drag him away from his family and his royalty and make it all about her?
As someone who is not easily manipulated, I had trouble understanding how Sarma believed his lies, but my main takeaway from watching the series was that Sarma seems as though she hadn't properly processed a lot of what happened. She'd switch from being highly articulate to answering a question with 'I don't know' and she seemed genuinely confused about some of her own actions. I absolutely agree that she knows right from wrong and had to be accountable, but I wish we could hear her side of things 5 years from now when she's hopefully gone to therapy or worked through it all a lot more. She seemed like she hadn't fully untangled herself from the fantasy yet.
they had absolutely NOTHING in common except an inherent wish to be something special..but that was still enough for him to get his con artist fangs deep into her neck..this is scary & shows how little it takes for scammers, long con artists & cult leaders to recruit their victims..they just play on their vanity & magical thinking..these scammers might be the only ones to beat narcissists at their own game ..oh well
So glad that Dr. Grande is here to ‘filter’ my Netflix viewing choices. (You’ve definitely saved me from losing several hours of my life) ☺️👌✨
" they tend to think of animals as more like humans." Choosing to acknowledge the sentience of other animals might seem that way to people who are not. That's sad because I know that one of the main things that bothers vegans is seeing animals brutally and miserably denied the opportunity to express their natural capacities unique to their own species.
It’s more than acknowledging sentience. She literally treated her dog as if his opinion was equally as valid as a human being. When her staff found out that “Shane“ was a fake name and that he was really Anthony with a long criminal record, they confronted her with this information but she chose to disregard all of that because her dog liked him and she trusted her dog’s judgment. That was it. You can still love animal and take care of it and treat it like your own family member while also acknowledging that it isn’t going to know ad much as humans do.
It's beyond obvious they made all this crap up to fall back on for when they eventually got caught. Extremely disappointed in how many people seem to be falling for her act.
It’s not obvious at all, considering that his ex-wife, Nazim, and all the recordings that Saran made going back years confirm the craziness
Thank you Dr. Grande for another comprehensive and clear analysis.
It’s amazing AND encouraging that people SO delusional are still able to be worth millions 🤯
“She’s was okay with subjecting her poor dog to living with her forever”
Omg I fell out laughing!
I had a client like Sharma who believes in crystals 🔮 and that new age BS!! 🤦🙄
"Anthony was a reincarnated navy seal demon magnet" I cannot fuggan breath I am laughing so hard lmfao Dr. GRANDE!!! It's Sunday now BE NICE holy shid that was a good one!
Is it just me or am I enjoying these videos too much, lol?
She knew exactly what was going on! She may look young but she's 50, 10 years older than Anthony, I think she liked the situation and at the end of the Netflix documentary he tells her out of all the people he ever met, she's the smartest, her answer? "I agree"
"I guess she had to put her shape-shifting utopian queen plans on hold." 😂 ( I hate that, when that happens)
She dodged a bullet not hooking up with Alec Baldwin, but as a vegan, she could already pronounce cucumber
🤣🤣🤣
I just finished watching the documentary last week. From my perspective of all the contributing factors (how Sarma was as a child/teen, her sister saying she needed to help Sarma express her feelings) and how she spoke and was in front of the camera, how she and her employees described her personality being able to be very professional in the restaurant but then being very withdrawn and almost anti social when not working in the restaurant) I feel like she could very well be Autistic. That would greatly influence hurt naivety to being manipulated as well as putting up with the verbal abuse (Anthony was exceptionally verbally and emotionally abusive). It would also effect how she expresses any remorse or fall out from the whole ordeal and I genuinely felt deeply empathetic for her.
I also am very aware of narcissistic traits from my own life experiences (although Anthony to me fits someone with NPD not mere traits). I feel she was an absolute victim
I had the same thought when they were describing her upbringing. And it probably would explain a lot of her actions and decisions but I didn't come to that conclusion. The way she explained some of her decisions seemed a bit evasive to me so I couldn't make up my mind about how responsible I found her to be at all.
[I mean I didn't come to the conclusion about whether she was an "absolute" victim. Not whether or not she's autistic, which I agree she does seem to be to me too.]
What is the name of the documentary? I missed it if he mentioned…
@@Seeker0fTruth Bad Vegan
@@Pixietoria Ok thanks I appreciate it. I wondered why the video was named as such. Makes sense now.
"Feelings of inappropriate guilt..." I often say that I was born with a guilty conscience. For the first 45 years of my life, I could commit the slightest offense or mistake and then believe that I had done something very wrong and I was a terrible human being. Or, if someone even suspected that I was guilty of something of which I wasn't, I would FEEL guilty.
The worst part about when narcissists split up is that now other people have to learn how horrible they are.
As for Gambling, I've seen at least two examples of it destroying families.
ROFL … it was so hard to stop laughing after the, “she was okay with subjecting her poor dog to the misery of living with her eternally.” I’m so grateful for your dry wit, Dr. Grande; laughing out loud is priceless.🙏❤️
Dr Grande, you explain with remarkable clarity. I’ve learned much from your channel.
Coincidence! Just watched part one two days ago and wondered if you'd cover this case. I thought she might be a victim, but seeing the employees stiffed of their wages I'm think she's as bad as him. Great analysis presented as adeptly as ever.
Would she be a narcissist who met an even bigger manipulative narcissist than herself.
Narcissists are among us. Keep yourself armed.
Fantastic content. Thanks so much! One of my newfound favourites
FYI…I am vegan but do not feel any guilt for other people choices…✌️
Who cares!?
@@johnndamascene Apparently you…
I really needed Dr. Grande to analyze this case. He did an amazing job as always, making me laugh a lot too😂
...awesome on the Vallow-Daybell comparison and what an insane story!
I watched it too.. there's something for everyone here, but the story isn't new or all that interesting; woman achieves success, but is lonely. Woman meets man online who gaslights her, love-bombs her, then cons her out of house and home. Then they both pay the price. This has been happening forever. Nothing more to see here folks.
''She was ok with subjecting her poor dog to the misery of living with her eternally.'' LOL
As one of the folks who asked for this, I thank you Todd! You and I had basically the same view of this from the available data. I love your academic approach, as it is a breath of fresh air in a sea of pop psychology and other weird trends. Solid analysis. Dr. Klajic
Thank you SO much for covering this!😊
I saw the the documentary this woman was so blind that she destroyed everything she worked and lost her freedom.
God damn it! Dr Grande!!!!You NEVER EVER disappoint with your choices of topics. I love your dissections and discussions. Love the content. You ROCK!!
Good Afternoon, Dr. Grande. Always eager to listen to your thoughts. 👌
That Netflix documentary should have been 2 episodes. It was like slowly ripping off a band-aid! I am much more content with Dr Gs storytelling than Netflix. Quick and to the point!
10:45 What you said about vegans is false. They don't think animals are the same as humans, they point out the similarities between humans and other animals to show why it is immoral to not be vegan. So there's nothing magical about saying that a human and a cow both have sentience. And because of that, the guilt that makes someone vegan and makes that person stay vegan is not inappropriate but 100% legit.
Yeah, he really threw me off with that one. I have been a vegan for 8 years now and I literally have never heard of anything like that before. I don't believe in magic, nor do I think a cow is the same as a human, but I do know that humans are also animals and we all have similar desires in nature. I would not eat my dogs because they have so much personality and seek safety, and comfort. To kill them and eat them is so unthinkable. Therefore I apply that logic to other animals. It is easy to ignore such logic when you have slaughterhouse workers do the dirty work for you and you never see anything but the end result of a burger patty. Maybe he is throwing 'magical thinking' in it to cover his own consciousness on the matter? Lol
@@ArsonisticElmo Right?
I was looking to see if anyone else would point this out. As a 3 year vegan, what I choose to eat or not eat doesn’t make me more susceptible to illogical thinking.
in fact i'd say people who are willing to look at the actual realities of animal agriculture and reject it, are far more logical than those who would rather not know and continue to engage in what is collectively destructive behaviour (ethically, environmentally, and ultimately economically because it is unsustainable). this is coming from someone who is an "aspiring" vegan - as in i wish i had the strength and consistency to fully adopt it, it's a process! weird take, grande.
I consider myself something of an animal lover yet I eat beef, pork, turkey, chicken, fish and lamb.
If I had to kill them myself I might be a vegetarian, or maybe just fish.
Maybe it is those animals karma to be incarnated as something that tastes so delicious ?
I think some of the commenters in this thread make some interesting points.
I wonder if they wear leather shoes, belts and clothes, or if their cars have leather seats ?
Thank you, you saved me a lot of time watching this.
Yes!! Dr. Grande, I've been waiting for this one. Interested to hear your thoughts. Here we go!!!! .....
so glad you cover this she goes into more detail on her blog actually as the ending of the series was factually inaccurate, she has paid the staff now with the netflix money, she couldn’t afford to fight shane on the grounds of coercion, in england coercion is illegal
Hard to believe she was that gullible. She had to know…
I for one needed the funnies in this episode! I had not heard of this case, very interesting for sure!!
"A reincarnated, navy seal, demon magnet..." Dr. Grande's dry sense of humor KILLS me! 🤣 Seriously though - Sarma must have some cards missing from her deck if she believed 1/4 of the garbage coming out of Anthony's mouth. I couldn't watch the series through - Sarma was maddeningly and continuously stupid.
She ripped off her investors-He ripped her off-Universe reset🤣
Lately, I have been watching your videos every night to help me fall asleep. Your voice is very calming. By the way, I'm vegan, and I think of animals as children. I do not believe in magic or god or gurus.
It's a bit disrespectful to think of an adult animal as a child.
@@Marnee4191 I never disrespect animals. I love them and care for them just as I do my own children.
Love your humor delivery. I’m always amused
I love the analysis but your humor makes it even better.
If not for hearing the phone calls I would never have realised how narcissistic mind control works. He berated, swore, made her feel crazy, wrong, doubting herself. He makes out that she's the one doing him wrong by refusing to give more money. When she tries to get a straight answer from him he attacks then tries to pull her back in with love bombing. Plus he also conned her mum and others. What's worse is he's now free and able to con others. Con artists don't change, we've all seen how that ends.
And him filming her was also a way for him to capture 'evidence' of her instability and craziness - very easy to do when what caused her behaviour in the first place is not shown.
Falling for all that bull he was giving her 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ Even if you are a person who believes in all that reincarnation nonsense, there should be some huge red flags going off if he had money but kept draining her.
Thank you so much for covering this.
I been waiting on this thanks Dr.
In my native country, sarma means cabbage rolls. They taste good but smells terrible. I will never understand why women/men buy those grand stories their potential mates claim.
Yes, I keep hearing "dolma" when he says Sarma-haha! (Sarma=dolma - same dish, different words). There's an unintentionally funny song I heard in Bosnia: "You left and you didn't even taste the sarma." Can you imagine? If only he had tasted her wonderful cabbage rolls he wouldn't have left.
@@goranbreskic4304 hahaha or he’d have to run to the bathroom afterwards and then she would’ve left his fat ass in disgust. Fermented cabbage works wonders in that area 😂
Those employees were the victims
Really interesting episode! Great analysis.
Your subtle sarcasm is GOALS.
My God, what a bizarre story! I can understand people being taken in by financial scams, especially sophisticated ones, but this is on a whole other level. It would have been interesting to delve into the upbringing of these people but I suppose that information is not available. Clearly, people who are desperate for love are extremely vulnerable. I can't help wondering why they are so desperate.