I Don't Hate Being A System & OSDD-1b

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  • Опубліковано 1 бер 2020
  • "And if we can’t love each other and ourselves, then what good is any of our work to get free?" - Mia Mingus, leavingevidence.wordpress.com...
    I feel like that this is our first video back after a short hiatus for having an extended unpredictable Bad Trauma Time makes it a little poetic.
    We're extra anxious so here's an extra disclaimer: This is not saying that there's one way to exist as a system, or even a 'proper' way, or that the way we do it is best - this video was made to show the diversity of opinions in the community. We see a consistent, almost constant narrative that "everyone who has DID/OSDD hates it , and it's always a constant bad experience" and this video seeks to diversify our community's voices on this issue. Our voice is just one among many, but still deserves to get heard. We love ourselves wholly and completely, not just in spite of being multiple but because of it - and I understand that that's a bit of a radical position to take. Everyone's healing is different and everyone's relationships with their disorder is different. Our community is vast and diverse, and we should celebrate that diversity.
    Disclaimer 2.0: This is not in response to anything that's happened recently. This piece was written weeks ago.
    ________________________________________________
    Tumblr: / the-rings-system
    Twitter: / theringssystem
    Music: www.purple-planet.com

КОМЕНТАРІ • 91

  • @letterborneVods
    @letterborneVods 4 роки тому +174

    Awesome response! I get the feeling that it can be very hard for systems to openly express their opinion about being a system. When they’re too positive, people are gonna say they wish they had DID, and when they’re too negative, they might perpetuate the mindset that there is no hope. Obviously I don’t agree with this, and systems are definitely not responsible for the way other people react to their statements. I think it’s always important to encourage people to be positive, just like you are doing. It can be so helpful for people in need of support. I’m sorry this is so hard. I wish you and every other system the best! Everyone should be able to say what they feel without being judged for it.

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +33

      Very very well said. Like you mentioned, I do truly understand why so many systems consistently repeat "this was caused by childhood trauma, it's horrible to have, you don't want this, it's practically living hell" - and it's as you said, being too positive can result in people romanticizing the disorder and wishing they had it.
      It really is a rough line to walk, but without narratives like what we shared about ourselves, those constant reminders wore away at us and negatively impacted how we treated each other & approached our disorder. It's important to have both - reminders that CPTSD is horrible and inexplicably entwined with DID/OSDD, but also you don't have to hate yourselves and constantly be in pain to be valid.
      Thanks for the comment ❤️

    • @ceridwentaliesin798
      @ceridwentaliesin798 4 роки тому +11

      I love this response! We are learning to work together (accepted diagnosis a year ago) and sometimes there are internal arguments , but it is like a family learning healthier communication. I love them and they love me. It feels like finding the family I never had. It is totally the PTSD that is hard to live with.

  • @ravengateley7677
    @ravengateley7677 4 роки тому +99

    I love my system, I don't hate BEING a system and if I suddenly was not I don't know what I would do. This is my normal, OUR normal, and that is okay. I love these guys.
    But loving my system doesn't mean I think it is a GREAT thing to have, or that it isn't hard or confusing or aggravating sometimes. It means you went through trauma that you couldn't handle as a kid. That is sad. I wouldn't wish anyone to have OSDD or DID because of that, but I do often wish someone had the internal support that I have my the others in my system.
    Trauma can be any massive number of things, some people handle far more or far less than other people. My therapist constantly has to remind me of that, and seeing how negative some people are about being systems is upsetting to me when they act like that is what is should be like - trauma and pain. It isn't that way for me, and my trauma is... shockingly small and a constant thorn in my side making me questing validity. I think a lot of how people feel about their own system has to do with the kind of trauma, and their communication.
    Systems are valid even if they LIKE their life as it is.

  • @havendidit
    @havendidit 4 роки тому +62

    Today I’m having a very serious talk with my therapist who seemed to imply last week that she didn’t think I had OSDD. I expect because she’s only met one alter (me) and also because I have only had a good experience with it. Ever since I met and recognised our old host again last year it was nothing but love between us all. I’m glad to hear that it’s not completely crazy for that to happen. It’s always nice to have less excuses for being invalidated.

  • @cirrusfloccus6080
    @cirrusfloccus6080 4 роки тому +53

    One of our protectors recently wrote a text in response to all the "why you don't want did" videos (I think. At least she wanted to).
    Because, in our experience, no one ever says that they want to have DID who didn't experience severe trauma. We're always asking the people who say that why and they always respond with something along the lines of "at least I wouldn't have to be alone with it".
    And actually, that was the first thought our host had when she first learned about DID. (Obviously didn't realize she already had it.)
    And I completely understand.
    For us, DID is not a disorder. In german the word for "disorder" literally means "something that needs to be repaired" and we always say that's not what we are. We don't need to be repaired. There's nothing wrong with us.
    The trauma needs to be treated. Not being multiple itself.
    Being multiple is just another way of living (that you didn't choose of course, but still). It's not better or worse than being a singlet. It's just what you make with it.
    And yeah, our experience is pretty different. We don't have severe amnesia. We first thought we had OSDD because we have no amnesia in our "main system", but we learned that there's a "trauma system" and we have amnesia for the people from that system.
    But it's also kinda getting less.?
    I don't know how DID is with full amnesia between each part, but I still think you can learn to live with anything(!) life throws at you. Sure, might be complicated. But not impossible.
    (And also, we all love each other too!)
    ~ Skye

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +6

      Yeah!!!! Very well said!! 💖💖💖

    • @RicinOnFire
      @RicinOnFire 4 роки тому +12

      Hey, I just wanted to say I had a similar experience. When we first heard of DID, I had said, "oh I wish I didn't have to deal with this on my own". It ended up ironic as that was the start of me realising I had OSDD and that I hadn't been dealing with it alone at all.
      We don't have amnesia between alters, but we do have a kind of memory amnesia when it comes to trauma in the past. Basically, if someone fronts, they "leave it at the door" so to speak (it's certainly not foolproof but it keeps some of the harder stuff hidden for a while). The more often they front regularly, the more likely something is to come up though. And even if it isn't an accessible memory, the effects of it are still there.
      Anyway, I did originally 'want' help from alters and stuff but over time realised I had been protected from so many memories and had more help than I realised. It was definitely tough to see how much I hadn't had to deal with. And for a while, I was convinced I somehow gave it to myself because I had said I wanted it. Realised that couldn't be the case because why would I "make up" trauma to "make up" a disorder to protect me from "made up" trauma lol.
      Anyway, sorry this is so long to just say I can relate haha.

  • @zaideaben
    @zaideaben 4 роки тому +66

    This was a huge eyeopener and comfort to me. We're a relatively new system, and I've (as the host) been terrified to start this journey because of others' horrible experiences. Your response instead gives me hope and determination to go into this with an open and optimistic mind. Thank you so much for bringing this to our attention. :')

  • @theSurvivorNetwork
    @theSurvivorNetwork 4 роки тому +32

    Thank you for bring this to light. We are a system that work well together as well and we don't hate having our system

  • @ikmin5462
    @ikmin5462 4 роки тому +39

    I am in a big system but everyone near the front ( 23 alters) care for each other and we can communicate really easily since the beginning. We didn't know that others systems shared this experience. Thank you for your words ^^.
    we are French so, sorry if I made a mistake ^^'

  • @poppysquids
    @poppysquids 4 роки тому +44

    except for our intrusive thoughts- most all of us love each other dearly and no one ever feels like they particularly dislike another person... ive only ever known systems to have at least that one pair that cant stand each other so its been a little invalidating for us to always love each other right from the start.. which sounds really contradictory .. this is a rly great video

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +12

      Thank you, and we totally understand. Feeling invalid back in the day for how we've always been there for each other was why we made this video, and it can 100% feel contradictory. ❤️

  • @neonbeams5923
    @neonbeams5923 4 роки тому +24

    I am glad I saw this. I have been hesitant to attempt switching since I saw a post where someone asked how they could fully switch with another alter and a lot of the replies were very aggressive and rude, saying stuff like "why would you WANT to switch and make your disorder worse??? Why would you WANT to dissociate more?" and I was like "oh shit maybe they're right"
    I have decided I don't give a shit what others think and I shall switch with alters if I want to.

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +20

      Yeah, literally don't listen to them! Wow! It's literally part of therapy to learn to lean on each other, and switch to best handle situations together. Also, sometimes you just want to switch because other alters want to do something, and you care about them, and they have just as much right to being in the front as the host does!
      Anyways, whoever said that was full of bullsh*t, keep being yourselves and keep being awesome :)

  • @eliyahunaftalibentziyon2558
    @eliyahunaftalibentziyon2558 4 роки тому +14

    I've suspected I have OSDD for a while (although I also have BPD and CPTSD which makes it hard to know for sure) but I only have two alters and have a good relationship with them and are glad they exist. They don't cause me any trouble and are only a positive in my life--it's the CPTSD, BPD, and all the damn stigma that's the problem for me. But I have had many people accuse me of faking and worry about it myself since I don't have a negative experience and hate being a system and it's constantly being reinforced that being a system is the worse thing ever which hasn't been my experience. It's nice to see someone else have a more positive view on it.

  • @scotty3169
    @scotty3169 4 роки тому +14

    systems always start out as a way for your brain to protect itself and i could never imagine hating my system like you said they are a family. :)

  • @quirkyblackenby
    @quirkyblackenby 4 роки тому +100

    I think it’s odd to constantly talk about how horrible having DID/OSDD is. It doesn’t really make sense considering that no one with it can exactly get rid of it. Hating something about yourself you can’t change isn’t healthy and will only make you feel worse. Reminding singlets this disorder comes from trauma is one thing but constantly reminding systems is pointless because trust me they know. Idk it’s such a weird way to view this disorder.

    • @wilkobye9533
      @wilkobye9533 4 роки тому +10

      The way you just said it kind of made me think that it's probably a shame thing. We've been reading a lot about trauma and shame, with shame being the believe that you're inherently bad, thus making you feel ashamed of yourself. Idk maybe even the kind of believe of "I need to suffer" or deserve to also plays into it. Idk it's a thing maybe.

    • @quirkyblackenby
      @quirkyblackenby 4 роки тому +5

      @Doseneis Doseneis I think you’ve got a point

  • @pearblossom1390
    @pearblossom1390 4 роки тому +8

    I've never thought it was horrible. Yes my Alters are my family too.
    I just watch the UA-cams etc and feel PRESSURE to be like ither systems...like talk of systems and all their communication with everything they do in there headspace. When I HAVE NONE OF THIS.

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +6

      Yeah, that's so valid! On youtube it's presented a very specific way, when in reality we experience similar things to y'all - we don't switch too often, our internal communication is kinda crap still, and our headspace is hard to reach!! So y'all are so valid and we need the voices of everyone in the community! :)

  • @Maichelanger
    @Maichelanger 4 роки тому +22

    Very well said 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
    Our system loved this video, and because we are that kind of system that started with good communication and good relationships, we can relate a lot with what you said.
    Keep up the good work 😋
    -Miguel

  • @ademdag2685
    @ademdag2685 4 роки тому +10

    I feel so positive right now. After a long time of guilt because I thought I was just faking having mental issues. The first time I heard about DID, I thought I had that but when I made research online I realized I never had gaps, amnesia at all.
    I finally found something that totally fits to me (OSDD-1b) and I hope I am finally right this time.
    We can finally be in peace, I hope. Without any guilt or shame about our mental situation.

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +2

      💕 I'm glad you guys are feeling so good 💕 💕 💕

  • @serenediipity
    @serenediipity Рік тому +1

    this was so important for me to hear. as the host of a recently discovered system who's still working through the denial phase (although i've heard denial is pretty consistent), i've heard people sharing the whole doomsday sentiment and it made me think i wasn't miserable enough to have alters and that it was all just in my head when in reality my experiences are just as valid and i don't have to hate my livelihood in order to accept my headmates.

  • @kj-sf4md
    @kj-sf4md 4 роки тому +6

    Extremely well put. I agree with you. Cause sometimes the internal conversations can be funny & a little entertaining. For instance, last spring several wanted a new spring purse. I'm, the main fronter, am very frugal. And just didn't see the need. So 4 female alters, ganged up on one of the male alters, frequently fronts, (it was an issue for weeks) well once the male realized he was out numbered, he told them, go ahead get a new purse, But I'm not carrying it! And he walked out. Then all the others, whom thought they won, got all upset threw their arms up in disgust. Cause, they seldom completely front, more cofront, and knew Billy, would carry a small plain brown leather purse, but never a large floral cloth bag. Which is what they've been wanting. It cracked me up. Cause i wasn't going to spend the money anyway. So it can be humorous.

    • @pearblossom1390
      @pearblossom1390 4 роки тому +2

      That's hilarious. See more of our funny stories should be told...not so much to the publuc, but so those who are just now coming to terms with the oddness of DID/OSDD understand...it's not all bad. If it were wouldn't you have figured out you have it many years earlier??

  • @thistlepatch
    @thistlepatch 4 роки тому +10

    This was obviously a very emotional video for you to make, and I applaud you for doing it, even when you probably know there's going to be some inevitable backlash of "stop romanticizing the disorder! a lot of people's lives are really awful because of their DID!" bleugh.
    honestly, my system, although newly discovered, is mostly peaceful, and slowly figuring it and my alters out have made me remember nostalgic bits of my identity that i was convinced had faded into nothing. since at the moment i'm only aware of a very small part of my system, most of my "experience" with DID has been through other people on the internet. and i've got to say, i do think that mindset that DID is primarily a Negative thing that will affect me Negatively until Years of Work happen hasn't exactly had the most healing impact. maybe it's because we're autistic (yay shoutout) and more sensitive to these kinds of things, i don't know. i do know it's meant that me as host has been more paranoid about some things which means i have a more negative reaction to them than is really warranted.
    i dont know a lot about my system yet, but from what i Do know, they seem intelligent, understanding, patient and most shockingly, kind. yes, even the ones that i thought were angry or scary. every time i feel a positive feeling or comment in response to something i do, i'm surprised. and i shouldn't be. they're my support system, since circumstance means that i dont have one. if i didn't have them, i wouldn't be who i am. i wouldn't be able to keep little bits of myself that are in them.
    i don't really know them, but i really want to. i don't want them to go away. hopefully one day, we can be a family like you guys.

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +4

      ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you. And never give up hope for your system. You guys not only deserve external love, but you deserve love from each other, and for your mind to be a sanctuary.

  • @anameyoushallnotknow1428
    @anameyoushallnotknow1428 4 роки тому +7

    I love my system mates I just have a bad habit of demonizing the dissociation and such. It's honestly something I need to work on, thinking more positively about it.

  • @Galactic_hippie1111
    @Galactic_hippie1111 4 роки тому +2

    I started with severe amnesia and fighting with persecutors who targeted me and littles and hurt the body. It was challenging to function and very scary, and I was at severe risk of successful suicide attempts, and in and out of psych wards for years. Absolutely miserable and swimming in trauma. Now, with very hard work and time, my system is cohesive and persecutors turned into protectors. We are a family and we all love each other. I like being a system and I have accepted it. Now as the host and wise adult, I can hold my altars with love and reverence and honor each individual for their skills and strengths.

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому

      I'm so proud of you guys!! That must've taken a lot of work and time and love, and I'm really glad to hear you've come so far ❤️

  • @vickivigar449
    @vickivigar449 4 роки тому +6

    Yes, yes & yes to all you said.

  • @333Eriana
    @333Eriana 2 роки тому

    That is fantastic - you worded this so well. I have always held a believe that we evolve with what we are given. So, no matter what - our choice is what: give up, or work with it and find the benefits. I do know people that use their illnesses to manipulate others, just as they might do anyway -if they were not ill. Knowing for sure that i actually have other persons that have looked after me, helped me through a million things - i have been through incredible stuff some may not believe. But i don't look at that. I look at the creativity that came from it. Right now, because i don't have a doctor anymore my main focus in my life is to work at getting the best communication i can with my system - because there is alot of intelligence and creativity held within. Thankyou for this Silver.

  • @altersaside
    @altersaside 4 роки тому +2

    Beautifully said! Not only are you casting a positive light, but you do not tear down people with a different experience. Thank you for putting this out there!

  • @nymiancomplex7336
    @nymiancomplex7336 4 роки тому +3

    Im really glad you made this video. I've been thinking I have osdd probably for a little while now, although I'm not diagnosed.
    We have typically pretty bad switches and it seems like things aren't great with how we get along with each other. We have a persecutor that hates everyone and thinks she's better than everyone, and I don't think anyone likes her back, and from what i can tell most of my alters seem to be some level of annoyed/condescending with me(the host). I'm not really sure on how the rest of them get along with each other though. And even tho I think it's probably osdd-1b and not DID, we still have really bad internal communication and I'm not sure how to fix this.
    So I've been pretty negative about this, in a bad mindset, and very anxious. This really helped me see that things can be a lot better even with did/osdd, there is still hope that things can get better for us!

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +2

      There is hope! We fully believe that love (of many forms) is one of the most profound ways to heal bridges within yourselves. I don't have many more words but I'm so glad we could help ❤️

  • @M13C7
    @M13C7 4 роки тому +2

    I am so thankful for this video and for the question asked. it could have been something i would have asked at some point.
    I have a lot of issues (me) and my whole headspace has issues BUT i feel like without "alters" my life wouldnt function (or function as well) and my every-daylife would be so much harder. Many things would likely be impossible, and i may not even be alive at this point anymore.
    I am still very insecure about saying i have OSDD or even alters, i dont want to call myself that without a diagnosis.
    I do want to talk in depth about this with my therapist, and i dont want to be someone to self-diagnose, but its difficult and takes time and we just finally found a good therapist not long ago. I respect people too much, too want to put myself in a box i may not belong into.
    That said... i really dont know any other way to put my experience than by describing it in a way, which is nearly identical to what you (and others) describe as OSDD-1b. Finding this experience online made me feel so much less alone and insane. For that i am very very thankful to have youtube and youtubers such as you, which kindly explain and share these experiences.
    So going with the strong assumption we have OSDD-1b....
    For us, switching is now mostly (although not always) easy to do by demand, but i admit that i am somewhat of a control-freak in that sense. I am terrified of losing control and terrified of losing time. In the past this lead to a lot of complicated, potentially dangerous or just awkward situations; which only boosted my anxiety. Even now there are always triggers and some time-loss, but in general we re living a very good life and we agree on thing which are safe and which are not. (mostly)
    I honestly wouldn`t know how to go about if i didnt had anyone to talk to in my head. And if noone in my head would tell me positive things, when im terrified and anxious or just straight up take the wheel. And i honestly dont know how much id get done, if i didnt had all the help. Some days im so depressed i cant get out of bed ; but then i "wake up" all dressed up, eating freshly cooked dinner in a tidied up apartment; and hell i am so thankful for that! Some days i am terrified of picking up the phone, or going grocery shopping or taking an exam, but luckily if i can`t do it, someone else can do it for me.
    I feel bad for leaving so much to other alters, and i feel bad for carrying a lot of bagage and fears, which is why i want to improve myself and handle my issues in therapy. I know they dont mind helping out...and yet i am so thankful and i love them so dearly.
    Still yes we had fights, BIG fights even, especially when we didn`t had good communication yet and everyone thought they are the sole owner of the body and can live and do what they please. But luckily we established communication on our own, somehow, though a lot of self-reflection and a lot of trying to understand.
    And with that help i even gained the courage to call up some therapist, to walk (take the bus and tram which terrify me) to see those therapists and to share my emotions with those strangers in hope to get better. Without my alters i would never have had that strenght either. I wouldnt have had the courage to leave my unhealthy home, i wouldnt left unhealthy relationships, i wouldnt have found a good caring partner, build myself a life and a home, get two academic degrees and most importantly continued living.
    I would never blame anyone who says DID sucks for them, because if they say so it is probably true. And i believe that perhaps there is a happier and healthier way to "exist" with one single and uniform personality. But i can`t really imagine another way of living, and while there is room for improvement, i am just so immensively thankful for all the help my brain is giving me.

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +3

      I'm so proud of you guys and I'm so happy that y'all have worked together to build this life together ❤️❤️❤️❤️
      (also: self diagnosing is valid, we were self diagnosed for 4-5 years before getting a diagnosis from a therapist ❤️ With research and care, don't hold yourself back from it)
      And just aaa ❤️❤️ I love reading your story. Thank you for sharing I'm so proud of you...

  • @ABC0le83
    @ABC0le83 4 роки тому

    Thank you for sharing. Love your outlook, admire your courage, and thankful for your strength.

  • @jennpod2378
    @jennpod2378 4 роки тому +4

    Thanks for this - really helpful perspective.

  • @user-pu8if4wd1s
    @user-pu8if4wd1s 4 роки тому

    LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!!

  • @leben.lernen
    @leben.lernen 4 роки тому

    So lovely and powerful at the same time - we started crying, because - in special me - have a bad attitude ‘of being a survivor and have parts’ ... thank you for this beautiful words 💖

  • @supermidoriya9323
    @supermidoriya9323 3 роки тому +1

    I only discovered that I might be a system but I've been a system for 4 years now and it's only grown since. I spent the first 3 days since I found out that I have OSDD (before i thought i was just making up a story and people... Like imaginary friends in some way or another.) hating it and hating that I had trauma too. I tried reaching out to other communities but they seemed to also seem to hate being a system too. I realised that a lot of this stigma i had stemmed from society and different people. I didn't mind having alters before i found out i had this but as soon as I did, I hated myself. Now, 4 days later, I'm beginning to accept myself and realises that societies judgment means very little.

  • @sarachristie8938
    @sarachristie8938 4 роки тому

    I just discovered that I have DID a few months ago while in therapy for PTSD from an abusive relationship. I’m not going to lie, it’s been difficult, exhausting both mentally and physically and not particularly enjoyable most of the time. But I have hope that as I keep working toward understanding and trying to recover memories, that they can be reprocessed and we can all live a fulfilling and satisfying life together as a system. I appreciate all of your videos. I’m learning so much and I’m starting to actually love all of my head mates. Thank you for putting yourself out there to educate and help.

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому

      I'm so proud of you for how far you've come already, and I'm so glad our video are helping ❤️

  • @fuzzyflowerproduction7586
    @fuzzyflowerproduction7586 4 роки тому

    Thank you for your content. It's been so helpful and so educational. :) So far, working with a System has been different for me. The way I found out and the way I have been working with my System for awhile. I think with any condition that it's going to have its ups and downs, its good and bad. You can talk negatively about the negative times, but it is important to recognize the positive times too and cherish them more than the negative.

  • @missl1775
    @missl1775 4 роки тому

    Thank you, I needed this.

  • @Gedankenwald
    @Gedankenwald 4 роки тому

    Thank you so much!

  • @NixinVictus
    @NixinVictus 4 роки тому

    That was beautiful, thank you.

  • @amywalter7570
    @amywalter7570 4 роки тому

    Beautifully said, thank you 💚

  • @Drmorganaurora
    @Drmorganaurora 4 роки тому

    Love you all.

  • @druscilla7138
    @druscilla7138 4 роки тому

    Beautifully put.

  • @HelloEmmaClare
    @HelloEmmaClare 4 роки тому

    I hate the problems that we have due to being a system, but I love my headmates and I love being part of a system. There are days where I get sick of all the fighting and the inconsistencies in our life, and the lack of control, and the repressed trauma, and there are days where my headmates get really frustrated about not having their own body and own life, and about having to deal with things I don't (trauma and ptsd), and not having as much time and control as I do, but we all love each other like family and I would never want them to leave.

  • @berritandersen288
    @berritandersen288 4 роки тому

    That video means a lot to me. Thanks! ♥

  • @hannah.8578
    @hannah.8578 4 місяці тому

    The only part I hate about being a system is how it happened, the trauma sucks. If I was just randomly born as part of a permanent system I honestly wouldn’t mind that, I just hate the pain I had to go through.

  • @saminajackson7295
    @saminajackson7295 4 роки тому

    So beautiful

  • @AmplexusSystem
    @AmplexusSystem 4 роки тому +1

    Love this video 💙🖤 we had written up a video like this, but you worded it waaay better than we would've 😅 best to you!

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +2

      Thank you!! 💙💙 I'm sure your write up is amazing too!!!! :)

  • @Sieggis
    @Sieggis 4 роки тому

    Thank you

  • @slimepuparibaba4909
    @slimepuparibaba4909 4 роки тому

    I'm actually the host of an OSDD-1b system, 25 alters near the front, and I'm actually... so glad to hear this. When I was younger and I was still undiagnosed, I still had good communication with my alters and we were pretty happy. I kept telling myself they were just coping mechanisms or imaginary friends that had their own feelings, and honestly, I was fine with that. We had our rough times, but they were practically human too, so I understood. But when I told someone this, they told me that they shouldn't exist and that it's dangerous--that I shouldn't be happy with my alters existing.
    My main protector, who is usually the one in co-conscuousness with me, heard this and said "if it meant making you happy, I would go away in an instant. If I could cause you less pain, I would leave. But I can't. I really can't leave."
    My system kept hearing how they weren't supposed to be around and it broke my heart, because honestly, I always find that when I'm having a hard time, they're always there for me.
    I really, really never hated being the host of this system. It might've been hard at times, but with enough communication and work... we're doing okay. And seeing your video made me happy to hear that it was okay to definitely feel this way, so thank you, Silver! ^^

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +1

      Aa! I'm so glad it has such an impact for you guys :) 2/3rds of people w DID/OSDD choose not to integrate and live a healthy life as multiple after recovery from trauma, so it's a majority of folks really! ❤️

  • @purpleblackpup
    @purpleblackpup Рік тому

    I love that ❤❤❤ I don't want to hate my headmates ethier I'm still a little bit in denial but it came pretty easy for me to accept because a headmate prepared me for it without me knowing

  • @myshreksbox
    @myshreksbox 3 роки тому

    For me when it comes to my system I felt like I was lying at first(I’m still new but regardless) because I didn’t have tension or hinder in my daily life. We did have a hiccup with a fictive interject of her understanding that she isn’t real and is part of a system. My first human alter sat down and talked to her and it took a couple of week but she understands now. Cause we’re co-con most of the time she switched in and was talking to my current boyfriend and told him we want to be whole. Our goal as a system is to become just bethany not bethany and her system. We have a somewhat healthy system and our prosecutor is turning into a protector and she loves the fact that she is wanting to change and help me not hurt me

  • @cryptidgod202
    @cryptidgod202 3 роки тому

    I don't hate being a system! Everyone is just trying to protect each other, so I owe it to protect them as well!!!! The alters also aren't the horrific part, the flashbacks and PTSD really are, and dissocating sometimes.

  • @catholicmurph7707
    @catholicmurph7707 3 роки тому

    👏👏👏

  • @sad_doggo2504
    @sad_doggo2504 4 роки тому +1

    I am having a hard time forming a coherent comment on this one! This is an oddly divisive topic for our system. I guess I always held onto a maybe unhealthy idea that self-acceptance and positivity would lead to reckless behavior and personal endangerment. I wonder if others have had similar negative experiences? - Cub

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +2

      That's a valid concern. I'm not sure if it would apply to everyone, but it's helped us work better together and decrease that - when I think about doing things I would've in the past, I automatically think "wait, that will impact my alters. I love them and I don't want to have them deal with this if I engage in this destructive behavior." Caring about my alters has helped heal some bad relationships between us too. I don't want to say this is how it should be or whether it applies to y'all, but thought to share 💙

    • @sad_doggo2504
      @sad_doggo2504 4 роки тому +1

      @@TheRingsSystem I honestly am thinking about this a lot now that we've had a chance to really chew on it. Like, coming home from a stressful day and maybe NOT thinking, "this is too weird, I can't handle this, how is any of this real" but instead, "this is normal, there's nothing wrong with the way I am and I'm allowed to exist this way." It's like... giving myself permission, I guess. But we've also been struggling to accept reality as it is rather than seeing things through rose-colored glasses all the time. Well, thank you for offering a fresh perspective. We kinda needed it at the moment. - Cub

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +2

      Y'all are always are allowed to exist the way you are. Reality is hard to accept sometimes and I honestly am not sure whether we'll ever get to the point where we always accept it. We're proud of y'all and I'm glad we could help 💖

  • @fernlovin5372
    @fernlovin5372 4 роки тому +1

    This is a little unrelated, but I think your system can answer this best: How do you tell if it is a little fronting, or if there is age-sliding happening? I am confused about my system because I am not sure whether I have a little or not, if so, she doesn't want to have another name than the body's name, so I can't really tell!

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому

      Hello!
      When age sliding or regressing, whoever's age sliding still feels like themselves, but small. There's no full or partial amnesia, (but sometimes lots of dissociation) and age regression is usually in response to trauma. There's a lot of material on age regression as a C/PTSD response, so you can find out more by googling that! :)

  • @art7420
    @art7420 4 роки тому

    (I know this is not a comment... so sorry)
    How do I get better communication between my alters?
    Also they all used to come out the past 2 nights. But then one day I decided to let them front without any push back and after the whole day I started to come back. That was very stressful for me any tips to finding yourself easily while someone else is fronting? :)

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому

      Leave some notes for them! Write some things back and forth physically. Also, we highly recommend our video on Accepting our System (because we talk a lot about this stuff and being comfortable switching). Also: some grounding techniques might be useful for you! We have some here: the-rings-system.tumblr.com/post/187648010400/some-mornings-i-wake-up-and-i-dont-know-whos

  • @naominights
    @naominights 4 роки тому

    This has nothing to do with the video, but I have a question. What happens when the person who is fronting goes to sleep? do you guys share dreams? Does everything just shut down? I dont know but I'm kinda curious.

    • @TheRingsSystem
      @TheRingsSystem  4 роки тому +1

      It varies system to System :) we don’t think we share dreams, and whoever falls asleep is the one that dreams. We have friend who switch in their sleep and share dreams however, so it really varies