Autism and Late Diagnosis: Q&A with Two Autistic Adults (Yo Samdy Sam & Paul Micallef)
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- Опубліковано 30 чер 2024
- For autistic adults receiving a late diagnosis of autism can be a life-altering experience.
In this rapid-fire Q&A session Sam (Yo Samdy Sam) and Paul will be answering autism questions such as: Why a diagnosis can be so significant? What's it like to meet other autistic adults for the first time? It can be a steep learning curve as run into stereotypes and labels such as Aspergers, autism spectrum disorder, or even 'High Functioning Autism'. What does it all mean? And how can it be such a liberating experience for so many of us?
CHANNEL LINKS:
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Email: aspergersfromtheinside@gmail.com
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// WELCOME TO ASPERGERS FROM THE INSIDE!!
My name is Paul and I discovered I have Aspergers at age 30.
If you're new you can check out a playlist of some of my most popular videos here: / aspergersfromtheinside
Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this blog, because if I didn't show you, you would never know.
As the name suggests, this channel is devoted to giving you insight into the world of Aspergers.
This blog started off being just my story, but I've learned SO MUCH about my own condition
from meeting others on the Autism Spectrum that now I make sure to feature their stories as well.
I've come a long way in my own personal journey.
Now I'm sharing what I've found so you don't have to learn it the hard way too.
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// WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG
You can expect me to get to the point with concise useful information.
I focus on what is most important and don't shy away from difficult topics.
The best way to learn about Autism is to see it in real life ( i.e. via the stories of many, many people on the spectrum).
In this channel I endeavour to show you what Autism and Aspergers look like in real people and to also give you some insight as to what's happening on the inside.
I upload a new video every weekend with some bonus content thrown in mid-week too.
There's always new stuff coming through so be sure to check back and see what you've missed. (Is this where I'm supposed to tell you to hit that subscribe button?)
Topics Include:
- What is Aspergers/Autism?
- Aspie Tips, coping strategies, and advice on common issues
- Learning Emotional Intelligence (this is my special interest!)
- Autism in real life: stories from special guests
Everything I do is and endeavour to go deeper and take you 'behind the scenes' to understand what may, at first glance, seem 'odd'.
oh, and I love busting stereotypes and turning preconceptions upsidedown :)
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// ABOUT ME
I discovered I have aspergers at the age of thrity.
It has been my life's mission to understand these funny creatures we call humans.
My special interest is a combination of emotional intelligence, psychology, neuroscience, thinking styles, behaviour, and motivation. (I.e. what makes people tick)
My background is in engineering and I see the world in systems to be analysed.
My passion is for taking the incredibly complex, deciphering the pattern, and explaining it very simply.
My philosophy is that blogging is an adventure best shared.
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// EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TRAINING
I also run autism friendly online emotional intelligence training. So if you like my direct, systematic style, and would like to improve your own emotional intelligence skills, check it out here:
emotionsexplained.com.au
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// CONTACT
Blogging is an adventure best shared which means I'd love to hear from you!
Feel free to leave me a comment or send me and email at any time and I'll do my best to respond promptly.
Email: aspergersfromtheinside@gmail.com
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this channel!
I look forward to hearing from you!
Peace,
~Paul
"Don't force me to fit in. Include me when I'm different."
I really like that.
#metoo
I was struggling with coming up with a good answer to the question of "What would you like the World to know about Autism", and then Paul basically came up with the perfect answer :D
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Except they don't do that, and you don't get included.
@@tos100returns Good thing I don't particular care about social inclusion.
AA people explode around me if they have less than a yr clean time but NA people handle my craziness a little better so 12 step groups can not handle me ! then who can they ?
"It felt like if I got too close they'd run away and I had no idea why."
Story of my life.
I agree. Dealing with this rn at new jobs. Coworkers can call me out on being quiet & standoffish, then i feel bad cause i dont want them to think im rude. After im comfortable enough to start conversation & joke around tho.. Pretty quickly its like a switch flipped & most of them dont try to talk to me much anymore
@@aroguereptilian yeh man, I get the same thing. Wtf?!
@@buttercxpdraws8101 lol well know youre not alone. The ppl i end up getting along with at jobs are usually the most authentic & least judgemental. Ive given up on needing everyones approval
For me, navigating through life has been like I'm floating on one those crappy pool rafts while everyone else is on a cruise ship.
"Gifted ... It made it sound it was my intelligence that was alienating me." Ditto. Finally diagnosed at 60!
My perspective when I learned that not everyone instinctively counted cards at blackjack, "well why wouldn't you keep track of every card that's been played?"
I too was seen as gifted, and in many areas I was. Being seen as gifted can mold your own and other people's expectations, and make failure to meet those expectations, or even achieve at a level lower than most often seems to be more a result of failures of discipline or poor effort. It can lead to mental health problems including self hatred, depression, suicidality, worthlessness, and hopelessness.
@@wadegarrison4547 LOL.
@@wadegarrison4547 LOL many people don't have that good of a memory. I was labeled gifted, too, but I don't think I could do that. But put an instrument (any instrument) in my hands and ask me to play a song I've heard at least twice, and I'll do it.
I was a gifted child too… 140 IQ at age 2. I’m going to be 52 in 2023, and I’m looking into a diagnosis.
Two good people coming together to help us
I read that as "two good looking people".
Still true though ;)
Yess I’m subscribed to both of their channels, love when they combine forces to show the male and female side of autism!
I can relate to both of them and i'm just deeply introverted person..... Sometimes i'm struggling to understand what's so autistic about them.....
I wish more people would realise that autistic people are a bit like the canary in the coal mine when it comes to capitalism’s effect on society, as autistic people pick up on health hazards quicker due to their sensitivities. They will let you know that the sound pollution is a health hazard before a neurotypical will start to notice its negative effects and so on. These things are not alien and random, it’s just a heightened human trait. This sensitivity is an asset to everyone and could play an important role in driving research about how to improve public health.
That analogy just made me think that we’re the ones they sacrifice to save the rest.
@@BeeWhistler We are, but I don’t think it’s mostly on purpose. I think it’s more that by the time they even notice we’ve been sacrificed, it’s way too late to correct the problem for us. I don’t think the NT world can even see autistic people sounding the alarm as an alarm that’s being sounded. I think they see it as the autistic person themselves being the negative stimuli - a mostly ignorable annoyance - and it takes a long time for the actual negative stimuli that we’re responding to to exceed the noise floor of the alarms we’re sounding so they can even perceive those things. In short, it’s like it’s the ignorance born of blindness. You can’t fix a problem you can’t see.
I also think the social difficulties can be affected by cultural conditions as well. In periods of great cultural upheaval and change, I think autistic people with our sensitivity to change can struggle to accept mixed messages that occur during periods of changing values and norms. I learned social rules through TV, movies and the internet. It took effort. And now in the past 10 years, things have already changed to the point where it's like I've had to overwrite my previous learning with new amendments. I remember never really swearing as a kid because swearing was handled more seriously back in the day. But by the time I got to high school I realised that swearing could be a pretty important tool for fitting in, because refusing to swear makes you seem like you're not part of the collective. And before social media became big, the internet was more fragmented prior to web 2.0, with niche separate communities for specific things. But soon you had huge social networks start to become ubiquitous and before you knew it, everybody had a Facebook account, and it turned into a sort of attention economy where people would glamourize their lives for approval and social clout.
I learned that the clothes don't make the man, but I see people judged on their looks because they are disliked. I learned that looks don't determine a human's value, but constantly people are dismissed or mocked due to their appearance. I learned that rights ALWAYS come with responsibilities, and yet people only ever seem to discuss the former. The modern world is basically people telling you to be "different", but if you're not different in the right way then you are mocked regardless.
It feels like the more interconnected the world gets, the less meaningful the majority of connections we make is, somehow. And maybe autistic people just have a much lower threshold than the general population for this kind of change and lack the same degree of adaptability, but even the most adaptable human being has a threshold for the amount of change they can process, I think.
I saw some danger at the workplace and let the boss know. He thanked me by firing me, declaring, "It's not your job to focus on safety."
I have never been viewed as an "asset."
That's particularly how I've always described myself, to myself. I seemed to always be hypersensitive to friction in the world, in societies, environments, groups, within myself and my senses, thoughts, imagination.. like being tuned into so many different modes of perception and consideration all the time that sometimes it overloads the canary's system and then suddenly the canary is looking or acting very strange or just disappears..
Got my diagnosis at 39. Hardest part for me is lack of making friends let alone keeping them. Love life is none existent.. I love my alone time but at the same time I'd die to have a drinking buddy and a GF that understands and loves me for who I am..
I knew I would retire from dating at 40 as soon as I started going to strip clubs alone. Dating is the hardest thing you don’t have to do.
The last one of Paul just hit me hard, guess iam tired of being the one doing all the compromise to fit in.
Negotiation is a nuanced social skill, not readily accessible by most on the spectrum. It requires thinking and seeing from the perspective of others, and realising what may provide incentive for others to compromise... and doing this quickly on the spot in an evolving situation. Without an understanding advocate managing negotiations well requires courage, and healthy self esteem.
Sorry I missed the premiere! Thanks for having me on your channel Paul!
👍❣️
Thank you 😀
Like you, I had my lightbulb moment with a recommended UA-cam video. In my case, it was your video called "Could you be Autistic and Not Know It?". Thank you for provoking self-discovery in me :)
I’ve been diagnosed at the age of 12. It felt like suddenly, almost all my questions were answered. Please get a diagnosis. It’s a life changer.
This was a really good video! I was diagnosed in June this year( at the age of 41), and I can relate with so much of what you talked about. I was labeled the smart, shy and weird kid growing up, later "the intelligent girl with so much potential but unable to live up to it". It was such a relief to finally understand why some things were so difficult to me.
I'd love you to make a video about how to help NT family members to understand autism. I have a feeling my family still thinks I'm exaggerating my issues, even after gettkng officially diagnosed.
Late diagnosis only benefits your piece of mind. Society will always hate you unless you pander to their emotions.
It sure is, do you know how hard it is to reconcile the memories of being gaslighted as a 2 year old let alone the 52 years of being told you’re stupid and imagining things?
It sure was nice to have that peace of mind, though. I finally stopped feeling like I'm defective and worthless - there are others like me.
@@reachcommunications400 It feels like the internet just gives me more chances to offend people unintentionally. I can’t decide whether to get a diagnosis anyway since my mom and sister have already decided I’m Autistic and somehow that means it’s not their fault they couldn’t accept me the way I was before they decided, and that my mom didn’t cause me to be the way I am through her emotional neglect. I don’t think she caused all of it, but she’s never been able to accept me and didn’t teach me the basic things I needed to know and I try not to be angry about it but she tends to have the attitude that people should just get over things. And my sister would bait me and treat me like a burden and chastise me for not just knowing things I hadn’t been told. I guess I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of being right and never accepting their part in it.
@@BeeWhistler let go of them being responsible for you. You are. You can't change the past but only the future.
I agree
Very authentic and thoughtful responses. I couldn't help but cry, when Paul said "Don't force me to fit in. Include me when I'm different". Thank you both for doing this.
What I wish the world would know about autism is the vital contribution autistic people make to a society. A neurotypical mind can work well for maintaining and deepening community. This is stabilising to a community (if power plays are kept in check). Whereas an autistic mind is innovative and able to see beyond group-think to create genuine progress in a community. The depth of knowledge that comes from an autistic way of observing the world, then following through with these insights in a single-minded way is vital for the community as a whole. Denying these individuals the ability to contribute to their community, pathologising and undermining them instead is detrimental to the whole. I often see a bastardised version of 'innovation' and 'progress' being used more as a marketing tool or grab for social status. I cringe at empty buzzwords like 'change-maker', 'innovator', 'pushing the envelope'. This bastardisation is a neurotypical mindset appropriating a neurodiverse mindset.
As Temple Grandin said one time; they would still be sitting around at the back of the cave and gossiping if it wasn't for us!
I agree, ive always wondered what a proper school or work setting would look like that properly channels and embraces true innovators, i use to think google was capable of that but not anymore.
If i were to open a college or highschool like this i would hold private interrviews with potential students. They then either provide a essay or presentation regarding their perspective of 20 years in the future or regarding either inventions ideas or optimizations. This would not be limited to technology. It would be a way of understanding how they think what their focus/passion is and the path to grow that.
Ideas and projects would be recorded documented and protected by the school with the student holding rights. If the school funds a project they will enter a joint contract where the school has as life time license to use and study the invention and earn a small percentage of earnings untill agreed return on investment.(maybe around 7 to 15% more than investment)
If the project flops the school can absorb the loss and write it off or something to protect the students from debt.
This can be improved just a crazy school thinktank idea
@@madjack7777 I've seen that before. You have to be in the box to be thinking a bit outside of it.
@@delicrux 20 what will the world look like in 20 years isnt really a question you politly ask any of uf it's targeting a known common area of weakness with open ended none litteral or explicit questions..YOu'd filter alan turing,einstien and so many of us out..
@@allenbrodess8510 i think you missed the fact that there was a choice.
Second why not leave it open ended the point is to figure where your mind is i should rephrase it to be "where would you like to see us or what advances would you like to see."
This stemmed from a question i was asked in college it lead to a very innovative and creative essay and discussion about how we have not progressed as far as we should be.
My label was “waste of talent”.
@Denis Frampton I knew college was a scam as soon as I went in the bookstore.
I feel that way.
The irony is, I used my college credentials to validate my intelligence because I was called "stupid" alot as a child. Little did I know it was because I was on the spectrum, and I never was interested in school.
That one hurts a lot. There’s no such thing as wasting talent. You’re not a resource that needs to be exploited. We are here to be and experience, Not produce.
My best friend has always described me as " a machine gun without bullets"
Late diagnosed last year at age 48 .. I always knew I was different and struggled to fit in and make and keep friends.. but I am married, with 2 boys and a full time job .. had done some reading years ago but now realise the books were outdated and couldn't relate.. then last year UA-cam threw YoSamdySams autism criteria vid at me and to say the least, I commenced a deep dive .. after doing about 10 online tests and watching all Sam's vid, my light bulb moment happened when reading another person's account .. he said he could remember the names of all the Jedi and Sith from Star Wars and their bios, but couldn't remember what he did 5 minutes ago.
At that point I broke down and realised that I wasn't an idiot after all and had been so hard on myself for so long.
My biggest regret is that the diagnosis didn't happen 30 or 40 years ago, could have accepted myself more and learned more effective coping strategies.
Better late than never though, and I now feel a lot less stress, shame and self doubt.
If you relate to any of these issues, an official diagnosis could literally change your life.
I've just been diagnosed at 48 as well 👍. It's a super power
My son aged 9 is going through assessment. I knew something was different with him but wasn't sure what it was.
Now I look back at my life and realise why it's been difficult for me. Especially in the workplace and school
“I needed to put the book down halfway because I related so much”
I've had moments like that, except mine happened while watching some of your videos, and reading some of their comments
I’ve figured for years I was Autistic with ADHD and at this point I don’t know how diagnosis would help. I don’t want to feel normal. I don’t want friends. Friendly acquaintances are something I have a few of, but I don’t try to make it more. It always fails.
Sure, I’ve had what I thought were friends. You can feel the tension build over the weeks as their tolerance stretches to breaking. Then they either bite your head off and make a weak apology or drift away and stop responding. I’ve even had someone see me coming, make eye contact, and turn and head for another person to talk to without saying a word to me.
The end result is the same. The discovery that you’ve outstayed your welcome. You get tired of seeing the veneer crack to reveal the simmer loathing they’ve been developing for you. After a while, you decide that you’ll be no more alienated by silence than you are by opening your mouth and that if the world doesn’t want you, then you don’t want them. It took decades of craving approval before I learned to do without.
I have my little family. Sometimes I suspect they only tolerate me because they love me, not like me. But we get along and my husband still seems to like and love me for some reason. But I don’t think I can even speak to an Autistic at this point, not for long. Belonging isn’t something I do. I can’t deal with another ugly revelation like the others. The few people I know who might consider themselves my friends... I try to be kind to them. But I fully expect that the day will come. They’ll see something inside me they can’t stomach or decide they can’t deal with me as I am. Or I’ll fail at something important when I was actually trying to be a good friend, something that brings it all down. So I don’t let myself get too close now.
This hits home on so many levels, being 35 and only just getting a diagnosis. I would like to be able interact with a community but there isn't really one where I live, especially for adults.
I wish I knew you two when I went to school; maybe I wouldn't have been so depressed and had to face bullies on my own. I had no friends and still really don't
Aspie here...(now ASD Level 1 😉) I love this channel. You both are so much like me! It’s pretty amazing to see it. I’m a professional Firefighter/Paramedic and being on the spectrum in that field is exceptionally challenging. I have overcome a lot of obstacles socially but still have issues with shutting down when I’m tired (which is often in this line of work) and you live with other people for 24 hour shifts. Love the channel and this video was great!
Ah! The “I needed to put the book down halfway because I related so much”. This right here is a feeling that I know so well and yet couldn’t describe it if I tried!! I relate to so much of how Paul expresses his autism, many little ways are so similar!
II think that I would like the world to know that it was not because I hid my Autism well which is why ie I was 50 when diagnosed i It means in many ways I was taught or trained to not let others see the real me and when you already know in your heart that you are different, that is detrimental.
Me too, words still stuck in my head in my dad's voice is "act normal damn!t" I've mirrored normal until 32, now I wear steampunk goggles on the shoulder strap of my jacket (I wear my awkward on my sleeve). My kiddos think they're badass
@@wadegarrison4547 and if like me it isa relief in many ways to just be yourself
@Denis Frampton nope no thyroid issues for me
When I was in my 50s a friend described another friend as probably having aspergers. When I asked what that was she said high functioning autism. That's when I knew: me, too!
Both of you do not only make amazing content, now even together, but you BOTH also get to my heart, thank you so much for being so valuable, open and vulnerable up here, I'm very grateful
Pencil/finger Drumming got me sent to the Dean countless times!! Clicking my teeth, snapping 8 fingers sequentially, thought I was ADHD for many years. Then my clinician asked me “if you enjoy something, can you do it all day?”
That’s when I really started thinking that there was hope. Still no official diagnosis.
I tap my fingers and shake my legs and stim but nobody knew got my peers had worse attention span and I was academically gifted
I thought it was completely normal to know everything about every single British monarch from William the Conquer to Queen Elizabeth II and all the people they were related to and how they were related to the rest of European royalty and the effect that had on the course of European history.
Totally normal.
I love this. Thanks for making me smile 😊
In other words, what you're saying is, when something catches your interest, that's all you're interested in and you study it to death? Am I right? I'm like that too. The problem is that no one wants to listen to us tell them all the interesting stuff we've learned about XYZ and that lack of interest probably adds to our feeling of isolation. Sound about right?
@@ddhqj2023 And then I want to talk about it in detail until everyone else is bored and has checked out forever ago!
What!? None of the Saxon kings lol
Yeah. Not only do you have intense interests and want to understand and learn everything you can about it... you can be really really puzzled and totally unable to understand why your peers have the interests they do... most of the time stuff you cannot relate to at all, that seem so unimportant like celebrities or fashion.
As a Brazilian individual currently struggling with employment (our economy is really going down), to be able to access the content that you and Sam make (as well as my fellow Brazilian Ana Muhlethaler) is really comforting.
I have been suspecting that I'm on the spectrum recently (not an easy thing to share while I don't have a formal diagnosis) and the content you amazing people upload has been a calming and informative one. I hope to be able to solve this doubt soon.
Until then (and probably even more after, depending on the test results), it really warms my heart to see people dedicated to educate society about such misunderstood questions that could be made much easier by a more inclusive world (not only ASD, but everyone fighting this good fight)
I have spent the past 4weeks and over a hundred hours watching Prof Tony Attwood, Temple Grandin, Paul and Sam. I have an appointment 1 Dec to be evaluated, I’m 52
i did the same
Tony Attwood and Temple Grandin are great places to start. They also have good books on the subject.
very good luck to you!!!
I related to this so incredibly much.
My daughter was diagnosed with autism 2 weeks ago, and I've been diving head-first into research since then. I didn't expect to hear so incredibly many stories/feelings/experiences that I identify with but here we are.
Thank you for sharing, this was very helpful and I so relate to it. I'm newly diagnosed at over 50. I have so much to reassess!
I’m in the process of getting diagnosed myself, my 3 year old was diagnosed at 2! Ever since I’ve found more and more similarities in us other than just being his mom for us to have in common. And watching more and more videos of those with their own experience as an adult i relate so much. Hoping to hear back from my dr soon to get evaluated! I want to know all i can on this journey! We’re still learning with my son, and we suspect my 2 year old may also be on the spectrum!
good luck!
Me too, I've had so many "ah ha" moments watching my two grow
Could you please share a short story on how you went about it? My sons 4; his teachers say “he can’t follow directions”, “we’d like him to be evaluated”, and “he’s not ready for school”, basically just like me. It’s disheartening because I hear him pronounce words(pachycephalosaurus)
and add and subtract, in addition to having relative pitch, so I know his intelligence is on par if not advanced. He doesn’t follow the pack and gets in trouble for it. Much love.
@@scottkingsley6905 As a parent of a now grown son (college Sr) that was of very advanced intelligence at a young age, I’ll never regret holding him back a grade when his preschool teachers were suggesting there were issues. We went through the gamut of doctors, all kinds of testing, many many questionnaires, etc but autism was never suggested; we found he had sensory processing & ADHD but Autism/Aspergers signs weren’t blatant. It was very difficult because he was otherwise very high functioning; he talked nonstop with very advanced vocabulary, loved socializing w/adults or younger age kids, knew how to read without being taught but he mostly parallel played & always had a running commentary whether anyone was listening. Teachers felt he struggled with processing/transitions & we decided even though he was obv smart, we would hold him back. It went great but it became increasingly obvious to him as he moved through school that there was something going on whenever he tried making friends & eventually in grade school he was officially diagnosed with Aspergers. He flew under the radar in most ways until it came to social abilities which are still the greatest struggle he contends with to this day. I believe the extra year is huge for social & emotional intelligence even knowing how very intelligent he was. You can always get the child involved in ways that match their intelligence (gifted) but my regret is that I didn’t immediately have him working with therapist/workshops for social skills, cues, etc. This has been a very long, hard, extremely painful & often sad battle. It’s very hard to be so lonely when you really desire/value social connection but nobody gives you the time of day. It’s a source of great sadness/loneliness that is heartbreaking as a parent & devastating to him. I would highly suggest any approach to educate your child with regards to socializing is of the utmost importance & giving my son that extra year was huge. Wishing you well & hope this helps!
@@scottkingsley6905 thank you guys all so much!
Scott, ever since my son was 6 months i had a feeling something was off, just seeing him around other children he was always “different” it always made me feel like i was doing something wrong and that’s why he was so delayed with talking. He skipped right through crawling and immediately started standing walking along with furniture. He’s always been very advanced with gross motor skills, but delays elsewhere. He was non verbal till almost 2 1/2 and now we can’t get him to be quiet ! Now he’s almost 4, and Everytime me thinks he’s 6 because now he’s so advanced compared to his peers! He does fall back still in certain areas but he is so smart! We thankfully made it into a study with him to get diagnosed, unfortunately we haven’t had that luck for my younger son so getting him diagnosed is a bit harder. I’m currently trying to get my oldest rediagnosed through an actual place than the study , get my other son in as well, and find a neuropsych that can hopefully test me! I wish all this was easier than it is. It should be. There should be more resources to hear about for parents that are easy to access and hear about!
I read the same book as Paul, "look me in the eyes". It impressed me so much that I wrote several pages of notes on things that I could relate to and experiences in my life that are similar. I told my wife and it was not received well - she told me everybody feels like that sometimes and discouraged me from pursuing it any more. My parents and siblings did not respond well either. That was before UA-cam. Now with Paul's channel, I can't stop watching until I'm done with every one of the video's. Like Yo Samdy Sam said, what better way to find out than through social media. I'm wondering if this is going to lead to a whole new category of personality traits rather than a negative diagnosis. If my life of being on the outside hadn't been so painful up to this point, just barely keeping my marriage going, I wouldn't be finding these video's so incredibly therapeutic.
Gets as happy every time I listen to you Paul and now also Sam. I'm not Aspie myself but my partner is. We've been together for 1 1/2 years and it's just getting better and better. His my "soalmate" i think❣️Something I feel is that I have to defend that our love is for real from both of us. I have learned a lot from you ❣️❣️ I have developed as a person because I have had the pleasure of meeting a person who gives me an insight into so many other areas ❣️
Karin Stromgren: Unfortunately, I don't know how to add the umlaut to your last name using the keyboard on my American phone. Anyway, I'm a high-functioning "Aspie" (a term I first saw in the last couple hours) and the Grammar Nazi (ex-proofreader and typesetter) in me compels me to correct one of your sentences: "He is my 'soulmate,' I think."
Great format.
Thank you very much and all the best!
' our inner world is extremely rich ' 👏 👏 👏
At 32 I’m still trying to find out what’s wrong with me, I was diagnosed with ADHD with severe depression as a child. Yet... I don’t think that was right especially being black in Mississippi in the 90s.
💜
Allen Brodess
0 seconds ago
early 90's and before autism diag's wernt given outside of cases that had severe co's to go with it...'white midwest' 91 'adhd diag' was ,non-verbal till 4 3/4,rep behave(stims)meltdowns,socially withdrawn stereotypical n more full list my testing was stopped at adhd tho cause of iq shown via play..Kanners classic autism not aspergers 'parents' that make kanners refeers look GREAT!...33yo now
You guys are just great! Love both channels!
Because of your informational videos. It helped me better understand what lead me to get diagnosed. Finding out helped me stop putting blaming on myself and helped me become more at peace with myself.
Really good to see. You guys are both great, thank you :)
I love this video and the format 🥰 really well done. it feels so validating to know others out there are like me ☺️
Thanks for sharing this with us to get to know you both more as you both are awesome. 😎 Keep up the good work guys. Most of the statements thst you both share is so relatable and do agree with you esp last part there Paul. Thanks once again
What a great video! Thank you both! And thanks to those who sent in questions, if that’s how the questions were gathered.
I love this video. I've been trying to find something to show my daughter that her "crazy" mother isn't crazy. This would be a good way. Sam, you showed me another way that I stim. I knew that picking at my fingers and chewing on the inside of my mouth was stimming, but I didn't know that rubbing my fingers together was also stimming. I do that a lot at work when I get stressed.
I’m 40 and am FINALLY getting my diagnosis. I just finished the main diagnostic assessment and she says she can’t say for sure yet as she has to review the other diagnosticians notes and talk with him, but she’s definitely leaning towards a “yes”. 🎊 (Muted screaming from the rooftops in suppressed elation at my life finally making sense, and frustration at not having anyone hear me sooner, especially because this could have made enormous differences in at least 3 of my loved ones lives, 2 who are now gone completely.) 🎉 And this only because we decided to stop going through the usual dead end channels that are “available” for those who are not rich, and pay for the assessment. We luckily found a place that does it at a fraction of the cost of most places ($400 vs. $4000 😳) AND that hires only ASD or ADHD employees!!! I felt safe doing this virtually since they KNOW what to really look for and not just the stereotype diagnostic criteria. If anyone is interested they are adhdinterupted.com, and they apparently serve worldwide except USA. I’m so grateful we came across this place. I might actually get my life a little bit more on track now. 😁
What a great collab! You both touched on things that helped me realize I was on the spectrum a couple months ago. It was Sam's video that kept showing up in my recommended videos on how autism in females that helped have that light bulb moment for myself! I actually recently started reading the book, "Look Me in the Eye" that you mentioned, Paul! :D
I really love you guys and that you both put out these great videos. Thanks!✌️
Thank you for making this video. It gave me some much needed encouragement
Aaaaahhhhh my 2 favorites together!!! Love this. Yall are the 2 I have related to the most going through all my journey. How exciting you are working together. One of these days I hope to get to work with you guys. Loved that book as well. Was my first book before I read more female books aspien women and others. This is blowing my mind even more.
Thanks so much for your videos. It's so helpful to hear about Asperger's from such a personal perspective. Thank you for your courage and vulnerability!
March 2020, thanks in part to a pretty sever breakdown and your videos helped me get my diagnosis. 38 years wondering what was "wrong". Thank you very much
Hi, thank you so much for sharing this. I really appreciate it.
I want to thank you both. The points of view that you have really help me to "focus" on my own. I don't know if I want to go through the rigors of getting a diagnosis, but there is so much I relate to from these videos and interviews. All my life I've been "apart", "different", etc. Part of it was the cruel joke my parents hammered into me all my life. It's so nice to hear voices that say "You are different and that's to be expected and ok."
Such a loving video ❤️. Thanks Paul, Thanks Sam. The knowledge that we are not alone is the most heartwarming thing.
i'm in the middle of my acessment test and i thank you and sam for it. both your channels were eye opening for me 😉
Thank you both. Your channels have helped me to understand that I am autistic. Suddenly things seem to make sense to me so thank you.
Thank you so much to both of you for a brilliant video. Late diagnosis here at 50. This helps a lots ❤
"We're all human" and "meet me half way" resonated with me most. Everyone is different, unique and special in their own way. Finding out there are others who think in a similar way to you is very liberating!
Nicely done, I like the colors and graphics, and your statements are well-put. I agree with Samdy -- there are special people inside of our awkward exteriors -- dig deeper!
Some helpful and encouraging thoughts from both of you. Thanks for sharing.
I thought this was a live Q&A instead it was an 8minute pre-recorded video?
You both make me cry! I relate so much!
I didn't know I was on the spectrum until my late twenties. The reason is that since my mother was also unknowingly on the spectrum (she found out when I did). We derived a sense of normalcy from each other so I didn't feel as strong a sense of alienation growing up as many others did.
This is amazing!
Thank you, Paul and Sam, for describing this experience. The more I watch and listen, the more I learn about Me. And the more I learn, the more I want to share, while also realizing that I may have to be careful about how I share and with whom. 🤗
I listen exactly the 2 of you, wow so nice to see you both in a video🧡
I love this video. It touches me deeply. Thank you!!
I have high functioning Autism I always knew I was different. Very Quiet in school
Thanks, it's a great help learning from others like me.
Your channels are both awesome! Hello from Olympia, WA
i think both of you are the greatest for what your doing by bringing out about autism as being helpfull in many ways for people who have this and i"am amazed by how i can relate to some of the things you both bring on that i never would have realized where it might of been coming from,i also would like to say it takes a lot of courage to come out about a lot of it,which mght help a lot of people in many ways whether they have it or they don"t and realize what it"s all about and to maybe accept people with this condition the way they are, and to not hurt them in certain ways by insulting and making fun of them which i know how a great amount of mental anquish can hurt a person inside thank you both,love Denny
I really enjoy listening to both of them, even though I'm probably rather affected by childhood trauma caused by parental emotional neglect than autism.
Watching this was quite emotional to see the child in us trying to survive in this big scary world.
I like the guest, the content of the discussing and the music score.
You both are doing amazing work. One of Sam's videos kept pestering me on my recommended section earlier this year. I went through a period of research, listened to the book Aspergirls by Rudy Simone, and concluded that I am not on the spectrum. However, the similarities ASD shares with ADHD guided me to repeat the process, watch videos, listen to Sari Solden's book Women with ADD and conclude that I may very well have ADHD. And even if my evaluation process would end up with neurotypical results, I'll be so grateful that I got sucked in to the world of neurodiversity. I think Paul says brilliantly in one of his videos that autistic experience is still human experience. I have and continue to learn a lot from you.
Also, I think the fact that Sam has been called hysterical is hilarious. Haven't we progressed at all from the 19th century??
It seems at 70 I have more out breaks and rambling super hyper about everything I read a lot last 3 months and that brought back my “Bold and Brash” speech ?
This was wonderful, thank you
Without diagnosis, I had come to say that I should be my best self. I have to be careful to be interested in the people who are interested in me because I almost always blow people off because I'm afraid of rejection.
Brilliant...... thank you, big help
A very good video! I just got diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at the age of almost 37. I started to feel different after my best friend whom I grew up with was taken away from me at the age of 7. I never made friends, never had any and was always by myself. None of my parents or sisters seemed to care. I was just a weirdo. My 'light bulb' feeling was in 2016 when I read an article of a girl who was an Aspie and I totally saw myself in what she was describing. So I went to my psychiatrist and he said no, no way I was autistic. Pretty run down I forgot about that until 2018 when I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I still wasn't satisfied because I knew I was an Aspie. After watching a lot of your and Sam's videos and also other ones about Autism I took another chance and insisted on getting a thourough check with a specialist. And now we have the diagnosis: Asperger Syndrome and at the brink of a mayor burnout. I was so insisting on the diagnosis is because all my life long I was called the odd one, the crazy one, the weirdo and I have to change and just need to learn how to be a human person. My mom actually was pointing her finger at me telling me who I was and in being so I was wrong and need to change. After all I can be such a nice young human being at times (yeah, all those times I was drunk. Because the I was the person I was supposed to be). I always felt I was wrong and family told me so too. It was such a relief to finally know I'm not crazy. But family didn't take it too well. I'm still all by myself and fighting. On trying to explain to my mom that over the years I got pretty good in masking she just wouldn't understand. Well, now I'm trying hard not to burn out but I'm pretty much done with everybody and everything. But going to rehab in January
Great video!
Currently falling down the rabbithole of self-diagnosis and wondering if getting the official label is worth it. But I find that as I am recognizing all the different behaviours, likes and dislikes of mine that fit with the diagnosis I am also noticing why I never felt too alone or alienated: I don't think anyone in my close family is NT and it's such a strange realization to come to.
Thank you
I am praying that Autists find help and support. My son killed himself at 27, finding it impossible to live with autism.
It's difficult.
I started to realize I had Asperger’s right before I turned 19. I was living with my 2 roommates who both have ASD. “One of them would tell me no you don’t have autism” and the other would answer my questions and ask me questions about how I live my life and my social life. B the one who would ask me questions eventually told me it sounds like I have ASD. And he told me to get checked right before I moved out. I was going thru many appointments and eventually was told I have ASD. My life suddenly made complete sense. As a kid I never had trouble making friends as most kids in my area were troubled youth or just geeks. I would hangout with the so called “bad kids” and that lead me down a dark path. I realized that they only hung out with me because I was good at making things to smoke out of and I could take apart and break into things in minutes. My mom told me I didn’t speak until I was about 4 and my I also found out that when I was younger a dr referred me to be evaluated and my dad pulled me out of the room refusing to admit that his son was neurodivergent I was never very good at math or science but when I learned how to read and write I could dish out essays in minutes. I was always good at building things and fixing them and I’ve been obsessed with power rangers since I was a kid at 19yrs old I still am and when I get talking about it I can’t stop. I realized that something’s I said growing up that I didn’t think had any emotion connected to it would either make people laugh or cry and I would often sit there wondering why they’re laughing or got upset. When I try to explain myself I try to explain why I feel that way so I can walk thru this myself as well and that tends to get people angry especially my gf. Sometimes I can’t tell if my gf is sad, mad, or happy. She tells me things sometimes and I often have little to no reaction. People always seem to think I’m upset cause I don’t often watch how I’m speaking or the tone that I’m speaking in. My family members have learned that it’s very obvious when I’m actually upset but my gf often gets upset when I answer questions or when I try to ask her to help me with something. Because I guess it sounds like I’m mad. When she shows me memes and I don’t laugh or something she gets upset. If someone in the house is mad I avoid them because I believe it was me who did something. I constantly feel like im not suppose to be somewhere like at a family gathering or even a friend meet up. I can’t go to crazy clubs or parties because I often have to wear earplugs or headphones so the music isn’t loud enough to give me anxiety. I have ODC tendencies about a lot of things and some don’t make sense to people. My gf especially gets mad when I move something or if I’m doing something and it gets messed with I get angry or annoyed very fast. I don’t like my stuff being near other people and I don’t like other people making my food unless I’m eating out. I didn’t have many friends because people just didn’t like me because I was either to quiet or I scared them with my RBF. It’s been this way my whole life. I use to think it was because I was mentally Ill but I learned that it was just ASD a couple months ago. My life now makes total and complete sense. And I’m still angry at my father and just angry that I didn’t know and if I would’ve known I could’ve saved a lot of friendships and relationships. But thu all the anger I am slightly relived that im not broken. Ido have mental illness but nothing of the sort that would make me act like that or cause some of those situations to arise if any.
I found that I don't look people in the eye when I'm talking to them. But I had a traumatic childhood, so I always thought that that explained it.
Very informative and uplifting session for a grandma of a 4 year old beautiful, articulate, curious, intelligent and caring boy who is on the spectrum . Thank you both!
My two favorites. 🧡
I went through an assessment last month which was horrendous. I was triggered and terrified (due to PTSD from horrible experiences with previous mental health professionals), as soon as I walked in the office. It did not go well. I was diagnosed with 5 different psychiatric disorders as well as ASD traits that caused “significant impairment “ in all areas of daily functioning. The psychologist stated she could not formally diagnose me as Autistic since I had no records of childhood development. Even my referring therapist was totally confused by the report, and said that she believes ASD makes the most sense. All recommendations for therapies were those recommended for people with ASD. I was so happy when Paul said he was ok with his “preliminary “ diagnosis and didn’t find it necessary to pursue “formal” diagnosis. I just don’t know if I can go through that again!
this was super helpful!
My son have have Autism and good boy and her helpful thank god
You being understanding is what led to that level headed lad. Even though he's not giving you that eye contact, he can memorize your every word (if he feels like it at the moment)
Thank you sooo much💫
Thank-you, finally I have found out that the noise in my head is from autism. Mine is da-da da-da just over and over again. Sometimes it will go away for weeks but always returns during stressful times.
At school I did my work in 5mins but was not recognized as gifted because I turned into class clown for the next 35mins as I couldn't sit still.
Hyper focused and don’t have to separate emotion from logic. My explanation
Hey this is the story of an aspergers from India..
Today after watching this video I am 101 percent sure that I have aspergers. I have some self realisation
1. 90 percent of time my brain becomes stuck/overwhelmed due to n number of thought processing at one point of time.. So that I forgot who I am? I fee lost.. Struggle to keep track of my thinking/feelings
2. I can remember a lot of situation specially in the office where I feel so overwhelmed that I go to washroom to catch some breath/hold my head in a situation I know I can't handle myself.
3.I believe I am not able to understand the feeling of people if they are joking around/serious/ .. I always go very deep into the meaning of conversation with someone so I fail to crack the essence of the topic.
4. I feel most of the time I am very egoistic and can't take jokes etc.. Because I feel nobody is understanding me and my feelings.
5. I don't understand that nobody has the power to hurt me and most of the time they don't want to because they also have feelings.
6. I discovered that it is the fluctuations of emotions which are controling me like sudden joy/anger/jealousy/insecurity etc.
7. If someone's praise can't make me happy why should I worry if they scold me??
8. I believe mixing with kindhearted non aspie people making me understand jokes/more emotions/helping me to take quick decision etc.
9. Most vital thing in this condition is self hurting feelings which overflows all the time and being unnecessary critical of yourself thinking about how others will dislike me
10. I again believe that I have realized these things very late on my thirties which I should have realised probably in my teen age. I blame my condition/bad upbringing /lacknofself awareness for this late realisation..
11. MY GOAL IS TO UNDERSTAND THE WORLD BETTER AND BE MORE EMPHATIC TOWARDS OTHERS...
Love ❤❤❤ to all
LOVE ❤️ THIS 🌹
Great Video.
I amaze always that autistics(we) are same a lot.
e.g -we know we are different at puberty a lot.
-We want to be lonely but then feel sad for being lonely.
-And also saying to ourselves
"it is exactly me" while seeing videos like this.
IS'T IT....
Hi Paul! Can you please make a video about common ASD traits you don’t have?
I'm a Gen X Aspie. I was diagnosed at 5, when the condition was diagnosed, and did not have a name. I would like to meet both Paul and his guest speaker.
Why would someone be committed to denying it? Most of the people I know found the realization to be a relief.
My son doesn’t like the idea. He’s 19 and I think he just wants to be a normal person and not be stigmatized. He got too much of that in high school and middle school, poor kid.
@@BeeWhistler That's understandable. What I've experienced is that older adults, after either not knowing or having chosen denial for awhile, then either choose avoidance -- to not try to function in jobs and/or college or do try and eventually burn out, finding that they're unable to cope w/ sensory processing overload and their lack of social communication skills to navigate the complex NT world, thus repeatedly getting hurt. Or, if masking, exhaustion and burnout result. Either way, it's difficult to make/maintain personal, school and/or professional relationships which leads to loneliness, boredom and depression. The best advice I've heard so far from others on the spectrum is to "find your tribe" of others on the spectrum. I also tend to think it might be helpful to find a good therapist who understands autism to be a consistent source of trusted emotional support and guidance, including perhaps providing some helpful feedback and having an emotionally safe place to practice newly learned social skills. The UCLA PEERS program looks promising online -- learning and practicing social skills by being paired off in dyads (often an autistic teen/young adult + a parent, sibling, spouse/significant other) working in small groups once a week and practicing in between sessions. However, I don't know how helpful a time-limited (6-8 week) program like that would be. That might be where a parent, sibling, trusted friends and/or therapist might be helpful. The reality is that most of the NT world will not have or take the time or energy to learn how to provide for accommodations. So, having a "tribe" that understands, accepts and is emotionally safe is key as are the other supports I've mentioned.