Tim Hawkins - On nursery rhymes

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  • Опубліковано 5 тра 2010
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    Tim Hawkins does stand up comedy about classic nursery rhymes.
    From the DVD Full Range of Motion.
    As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 726

  • @rachelpaquet9749
    @rachelpaquet9749 9 років тому +1012

    "Hush little baby, don't you see? Mommy's gonna need some therapy."
    Pure GOLD right here! XD

    • @author4croix82
      @author4croix82 9 років тому +9

      Exactly! I so agree! 😆

    • @pepper341
      @pepper341 9 років тому +1

      👍

    • @zacgriffith1071
      @zacgriffith1071 6 років тому +1

      Poo

    • @nbuehster
      @nbuehster 5 років тому +1

      @@schatheolafast789 If you think of it, a jack-in-the-box can be pretty harmful. Hold it close to your face, facing backwards. When the thing pops open,..."OW! My nose!!"

    • @evelynharris1138
      @evelynharris1138 4 роки тому +2

      I'll never be able to hear that song the same way again

  • @isabellasaggese5198
    @isabellasaggese5198 7 років тому +300

    "Hush little baby don't you see moms gonna need a little therapy" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @jennahaugh4531
      @jennahaugh4531 6 років тому +5

      I loved that part!

    • @nbuehster
      @nbuehster 5 років тому +2

      @@jennahaugh4531 Me too. lol

    • @jeffmcmillan2617
      @jeffmcmillan2617 11 місяців тому +1

      One of the best lines ever!! Lol😂😂❤

  • @Abhinav-MR
    @Abhinav-MR 4 роки тому +93

    "If you don't care why did you write the stupid song??" Lmao😂😂😂

  • @maggie304
    @maggie304 9 років тому +210

    "Let me get this straight is kill a bird I get bling bling?"

  • @09pbroom
    @09pbroom 2 роки тому +87

    The “pop goes the weasel” bit had me in the floor crying 😂😂😂 one of the funniest things I’ve seen in my entire life.

    • @PrincessJupiter14
      @PrincessJupiter14 2 роки тому +2

      It's the accent for me 😂 Tim always makes me laugh til I almost pee my pants lol

  • @vanessapamer4041
    @vanessapamer4041 8 років тому +392

    I love when he says need to call child protection services on these parents for leaving the baby in a stinking tree

    • @nbuehster
      @nbuehster 5 років тому +12

      I agree about that one. I don't know when I realized how sadistic it was.

    • @camillehollinger4944
      @camillehollinger4944 3 роки тому +11

      @@nbuehster the rockabye baby was actually French history on the Royal family. But Tim's spin on it is hilarious.

  • @cassidypagano6415
    @cassidypagano6415 8 років тому +58

    the baby's in a TREE 😂😂

  • @sorryihavemarchingband1544
    @sorryihavemarchingband1544 7 років тому +143

    "Old McDonald was dyslexic go ieie!"

    • @nbuehster
      @nbuehster 5 років тому +10

      I know this is (somewhat) off-topic, but...
      How many dyslexics does it change to take a lightbulb?

    • @gracedicken8708
      @gracedicken8708 2 роки тому +2

      @@nbuehster it’s 3 years later but I want to hear the end of the joke so, how many?

    • @Bloodstorm365
      @Bloodstorm365 2 роки тому +2

      @@gracedicken8708 None their still trying to read the instructions

    • @gracedicken8708
      @gracedicken8708 2 роки тому

      @@Bloodstorm365 thanks👌

  • @thydo8370
    @thydo8370 8 років тому +36

    "the baby's in a TREE!!!" i'm dying of laughter

  • @sunrider3238
    @sunrider3238 8 років тому +88

    "....if that looking glass gets broke momma's gonna buy you a....billy goat...
    so we're in Kentucky now, is that what the problem is?" is one my favorites and pop goes the weasel😂😂😅😅 he is my favorite comedian by far:)

    • @michelleshepard6674
      @michelleshepard6674 6 років тому

      F*k u

    • @bobbybaker9987
      @bobbybaker9987 6 років тому

      Sun Rider fuck you my mom's from Kentucky

    • @sunrider3238
      @sunrider3238 5 років тому +3

      “Hush little baby don’t you see? Mom’s gonna need a little therapy!” 😂

    • @ryanpulliam8987
      @ryanpulliam8987 5 років тому

      @@bobbybaker9987 have a sense of fucking humor dude!

    • @ericrutledge6614
      @ericrutledge6614 5 років тому +1

      Crybabies...sun rider didnt insult anyone

  • @Bareis777
    @Bareis777 3 роки тому +38

    He is in a league of his own. How he intertwined the previous jokes is an art of its own. Love Mr Hawkins

  • @leekeeboo
    @leekeeboo 8 років тому +46

    the way he said "the baby's in a TREE" 😂😂😂😂 I nearly choked on my sherbert!

  • @maddie4582
    @maddie4582 8 років тому +394

    " let me get this one straight here.... If I kill the bird I get bling bling!!!??"

  • @nettiemaxted5436
    @nettiemaxted5436 8 років тому +159

    im English and that is hilarious.

    • @johnathanholmes1297
      @johnathanholmes1297 3 роки тому +2

      You mean you speak English?

    • @eclipseyt05
      @eclipseyt05 3 роки тому +8

      @@johnathanholmes1297 he means he is from Britain

    • @johnathanholmes1297
      @johnathanholmes1297 3 роки тому +2

      I know that. But English is most used for language over country... Or is it races?

    • @RepentfollowJesus
      @RepentfollowJesus 3 роки тому +2

      @@johnathanholmes1297 Americans speak American English, Australia speaks Australian English etc

    • @RepentfollowJesus
      @RepentfollowJesus 3 роки тому +1

      He did great with his accent. I had a close friend from England. I nearly died laughing. I just sent this to a friend in Australia. Waiting for comments lol

  • @menslady125eif2590
    @menslady125eif2590 8 років тому +205

    Are you serious? If I shut up, I get a bird?

    • @miloshort3553
      @miloshort3553 8 років тому +8

      +menslady125 go on!

    • @kaylabarhite8880
      @kaylabarhite8880 8 років тому +11

      I told my mom this and she said no.
      but she said I could have......... breakfast.
      😃😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😃

    • @nbuehster
      @nbuehster 5 років тому +3

      Baby: If I shut up, I get a bird?
      Mom: Yes. But if you don't shut up, I might give you *the* bird.

  • @bluekloudwalker5468
    @bluekloudwalker5468 5 років тому +16

    how can anyone dislike this guy? he's hilarious!

  • @danielaustin7085
    @danielaustin7085 3 роки тому +19

    this dude is so underrated
    seriously this is one of the funniest comics there is

  • @maryj7423
    @maryj7423 Рік тому +15

    Tim's stuff will never get old. He's unrivalled

  • @michaelrysko
    @michaelrysko 5 років тому +7

    “The baby is in a.....TREE!?!?!” “Somebody better call child protective services on these parents!” LOL

  • @stealbuttons2528
    @stealbuttons2528 5 років тому +23

    His British accent is actually spot on.

  • @catont4662
    @catont4662 3 роки тому +19

    I’ve probably seen this 50 times and I still watch it

  • @jessieg154
    @jessieg154 11 років тому +9

    "Hush little baby don't you see, Momma's gonna need a little therapy"!!!!!! Love it!

  • @pi224dog4
    @pi224dog4 7 років тому +42

    My fav part is the pop goes the weasel one

    • @senseijoyner
      @senseijoyner 7 років тому +4

      that song is actually about a tool used by women to measure yarn they had spun. e weasel would be set to make a popping sound after a certain number of yards had been wound onto it.

    • @victorygraceforever
      @victorygraceforever 6 років тому

      senseijoyner , oooh, that's cool. The things we learn.

  • @italy_ball656
    @italy_ball656 3 роки тому +10

    I died at 0:22 because of how he said “tree”. Tears in my eyes! Thank you for the laugh!

  • @cozy_adventures_gaming
    @cozy_adventures_gaming 8 років тому +166

    Hush little baby don't you see mommas gonna need some therapy 😂😂😂

    • @codyrod4599
      @codyrod4599 7 років тому +4

      emily maurer my friend was over and my brother threw a remote at his back so he started crying what I said to Cheer him up hush little baby don't you see he's gonna need a lot of therapy

    • @tracylemire3010
      @tracylemire3010 6 років тому

      Hilarious

    • @nbuehster
      @nbuehster 5 років тому

      ROFLMAO at that one.
      About the diamond ring, I'm surprised he didn't say something about how a baby could choke on something like that.

  • @hopeinchrist5734
    @hopeinchrist5734 5 років тому +7

    “Hush little baby don’t you seeee
    Mama’s gonna need a little therapyyyy”
    🤣🤣🤣

  • @genewilliams617
    @genewilliams617 Рік тому +3

    The man is genius, AND HEEEEELARIOUS!!!!!

  • @danwonder7776
    @danwonder7776 5 років тому +10

    You need to call Child Protective Services on these parents 😂

  • @lyssassong
    @lyssassong 13 років тому +14

    I watch this video over and over! I love it and LOL every time, especially at the pop goes the weasel part.

    • @rameysue
      @rameysue 11 місяців тому +1

      this guy is the funniest man alive right now.

  • @austinolmstead8643
    @austinolmstead8643 8 років тому +13

    His facial expression at the end of "Rock a by baby" looked like doc from Back to the Future

  • @Onlywhitekids
    @Onlywhitekids 12 років тому +7

    "If I kill the bird I get Bling Bling??" LOL

  • @TheKeenTribe
    @TheKeenTribe 3 роки тому +10

    Oh my gosh, this guy is absolutely hilarious!
    I'm gonna start playing his stuff on my school bus!

  • @CherryyCrushh
    @CherryyCrushh 12 років тому +9

    "Hush little baby don't you see, moms gonna need a little therapyyyy!" LMAO

    • @rezkin_kdt7034
      @rezkin_kdt7034 3 роки тому

      I read this just when he was saying it

  • @mincraftgirllover
    @mincraftgirllover 12 років тому +6

    i almost died laughing
    "THE BABYS IN A STINKIN TREE"

  • @aardwolfmc774
    @aardwolfmc774 7 років тому +57

    "If that looking glass gets broke, momma's gonna buy you a..... billy.... goat.... So we're in Kentucky now, is that what the problem is?"

    • @adammilette3076
      @adammilette3076 7 років тому +2

      "See where's the dad chiming in? Hush little baby, don't you see? Mom's gonna need a little therapy." XD

    • @jameskendrix339
      @jameskendrix339 3 роки тому

      Yes thats the problem

  • @kdvincent1982
    @kdvincent1982 8 років тому +160

    Rub a dub dub, three men in a tub always bothered me 😳

    • @jakobwedel3168
      @jakobwedel3168 8 років тому +3

      😆

    • @FireLordJohn3191
      @FireLordJohn3191 7 років тому +5

      Kenyon Vincent yeah... um...

    • @justinwebb9232
      @justinwebb9232 6 років тому +10

      Idk what kinda tub that is....but I only got room for me in mine
      Big ass tub in that song

    • @nbuehster
      @nbuehster 5 років тому +5

      I'm surprised he didn't mention that one.
      The butcher, the baker, the *candlestick* maker, Worst euphemism for boner.
      "And all of them out to sea." Well, they're all out of the closet. I'm pretty sure about that.

    • @littlekitten5953
      @littlekitten5953 5 років тому +8

      Five feet apart cause they're not gray 😂

  • @victhorpe7199
    @victhorpe7199 11 років тому +5

    "Hush little baby don't you see? Mamas gonna need a little therapy" Can't stop laughing!

  • @scooberdoober2826
    @scooberdoober2826 8 років тому +8

    this guy is great! clean wholesome clever and funny!

  • @RjBenjamin353
    @RjBenjamin353 5 років тому +3

    The best clean comic around. A comedic genius.

  • @roseduke591
    @roseduke591 4 роки тому +4

    Thank you so much for hysterical laughter!!! 😂🤣😂

  • @RBTDestroyer
    @RBTDestroyer 10 років тому +83

    49 dislikes... People have no taste in comedy!

    • @exarsunrider6468
      @exarsunrider6468 7 років тому +7

      RBTD Ryebread The Destroyer No, I think it's that people don't like this because there's no profanity in it.

    • @silversunshinekitty9844
      @silversunshinekitty9844 6 років тому

      Ryebreadthedestroyer now it is 221

    • @weirdo.girl2018
      @weirdo.girl2018 3 роки тому +1

      @@exarsunrider6468 People are dumb
      But I don't care

    • @adammilette3076
      @adammilette3076 3 роки тому

      @@exarsunrider6468 well you're not wrong lol

  • @davidlucey1311
    @davidlucey1311 2 роки тому +3

    One of my earliest memories is when I was a very little kid and my elder sister was trying to get me to settle down for a nap. Annie sang the rock-a-bye baby song… I started crying hysterically. It took my sister and two of her friends, Carla and another girl whose name I forget, about 10 minutes to calm me down. I’m pretty sure that my sister never sang that song to any of her three children… She’s a good mom.😀

  • @Aeo16492
    @Aeo16492 11 років тому +4

    Pop goes the weasel! Haha hilarious!! Gotta luv this guy!!

  • @Dylanredd46
    @Dylanredd46 9 років тому +11

    3:40 had me laughing so hard i cried X'D

  • @ztails3276
    @ztails3276 4 роки тому +5

    I've always wanted to see Tim Hawkins on The Last Man Standing Lol that would be awesome and hilarious 😆😆

  • @wigmomm
    @wigmomm 8 років тому +46

    "Down will come baby, CRADLE AND ALL." Am I the only one who gets the Jim Carrey reference
    He said that in "Lemony Snicket A series of unfortunate events" when Sunny is in a cage at the top of the tower.

  • @Mistressrichards
    @Mistressrichards 3 роки тому +2

    I always sang “and momma catch baby cradle and all!!!” Go super mom!

  • @josephinebutler1989
    @josephinebutler1989 3 роки тому +2

    Ah, Rock-a-Bye, Baby. Nothing soothes a kid to sleep better then a horror song with a cliffhanger.

  • @robbymounce5764
    @robbymounce5764 8 місяців тому +3

    I actually remember the first one ending in “And Jesus will catch you, cradle and all”………….… lol ❤

  • @lilbitcrafty6528
    @lilbitcrafty6528 3 роки тому +4

    How does he keep a straight face with some of his jokes!!

  • @hahalol290
    @hahalol290 7 років тому +18

    "He had a cow, he had a horse, he had a... Moose" 😂😂😂

    • @jeenashirkey1987
      @jeenashirkey1987 7 років тому +1

      K Draper JARED PADALECKI

    • @nbuehster
      @nbuehster 5 років тому +2

      If Noah new about that song, I'm pretty sure he would say "This is why *I* build the ark! If Old MacDonald built it, the animal population would drop dramatically.".

    • @simeonbaumel7293
      @simeonbaumel7293 4 роки тому +1

      @@nbuehster Well there were 14 giraffes on the Ark..

  • @TheTangerineBlue1
    @TheTangerineBlue1 8 років тому +2

    LOVE THIS MANS HUMOR

  • @MasterAnakinSkyWalker
    @MasterAnakinSkyWalker 4 роки тому +9

    1:17
    Anyone else hear that weird laugh?

  • @Duckminifarm
    @Duckminifarm 10 років тому +2

    This is so funny I love Tim Hawkins because like a child just bigger and taller and well you get the point.

  • @brandonmesecar8641
    @brandonmesecar8641 Рік тому +1

    He's funny as hell and he don't curse which is great

  • @Its_tiff3478
    @Its_tiff3478 6 місяців тому +1

    This guy is hilarious. Every time before church service, the p.a people would play some of his videos before church and the whole church would burst laughing. He’s amazing.

  • @SamanthaVillegas
    @SamanthaVillegas 10 років тому +8

    "Pop goes the weasel will become a hit in America. They'll put it in a box with a clown and it will scare children. We'll sell a billion of these!" XD so funny!!!

  • @faithdonaldson306
    @faithdonaldson306 5 років тому +3

    "The babies in a TREE!"

  • @Menyhard
    @Menyhard 8 років тому +2

    This will never get old.lol

  • @rubywingo6030
    @rubywingo6030 7 років тому +1

    when my son was little he sang Jimmy "crap" corn! Lol!!

  • @bykers81
    @bykers81 6 років тому +5

    Dude, I don't know how I haven't found your channel before now but OH MY GOD I'm so glad I have. You have made me laugh at a time when I really needed to laugh. Thank you man.

  • @rilly1347
    @rilly1347 7 років тому +32

    Jimmy Crack corn and I don't care,... Well if you don't care then why did you write the stupid song!? LOL! I love this guy!

  • @caitlynnpetty4414
    @caitlynnpetty4414 7 років тому +2

    "He had a cow, he had a horse, he had a...moose."

  • @ThatWarriorCatGurl
    @ThatWarriorCatGurl 9 років тому +200

    Everyone knows Ring around the rosie right? THAT IS THE WORST SONG EVER!
    Ring around the Rosie, A pocket full of Posies, Ashes Ashes we all fall down.
    Here are what the lyrics mean:
    Ring around the rosie is a reference to the black sores that would appear on your body as part of the plague. Your "rosie" is around the center of the back of your hand.
    A pocket full of posies is a reference to people would carrying posies (flowers) around to not smell the sickening scent of dead bodies everywhere.
    Ashes Ashes signifies the ashes from all the bodies being burned on pyres. Bodies couldn't be buried or else the infection would spread.
    We all fall down signifies death....
    SOOOOO yea. Never sing this to your kids. I was tramitized in 5th grade when I learned this.....its just like 0o0

  • @chrisrudolf9839
    @chrisrudolf9839 2 роки тому +1

    A lot of old nursery rhymes from darker times (19th century and older) are quite gruesome when you think about them, putting the terrors of life into cutified soothing words. We have some even more disturbing ones in Germany. One that used to be sung with a toddler when playing rider on a rocking horse or on your knee goes:
    "Hoppe hoppe Reiter / wenn er fällt dann schreit er / fällt er in den Graben / fressen ihn die Raben / fällt er in den Sumpf / dann macht der Reiter 'plumps'."
    (Hop, hop, rider / If he falls he'll scream / If he falls into the ditch / the ravens will eat him / if he falls into the swamp / the rider will go 'splash')

  • @alexiamcculloch1322
    @alexiamcculloch1322 10 років тому +3

    Couldn't stop laughing on pub part lol

  • @Jazzyjen1997
    @Jazzyjen1997 10 років тому +3

    I just found out that I've been singing Pop Goes The Weasal wrong all these years!!! 😂😂😂

  • @isobelleheinricy265
    @isobelleheinricy265 7 років тому +46

    Hush little baby don't you see moms gonna need a little therapy

    • @pepper341
      @pepper341 7 років тому

      Fasionista117TheMIneCraftLover
      unrelated but my minecraft skin is almost the same as your profile

  • @2Himgrateful
    @2Himgrateful 3 місяці тому

    Crying laughing so hard! Thank you!!!

  • @Chrismasfish
    @Chrismasfish 12 років тому

    Rock'a'bye baby in the tree tops......
    The baby's in a TREE!!!
    The way he says "tree" is epic

  • @blueskies3752
    @blueskies3752 6 років тому +1

    I love Tim Hawkins clean comedy is the best

  • @skittlelover316
    @skittlelover316 12 років тому +2

    3:20 am and watching tim hawkins I know I need a life.but he's so funny!

  • @annap5589
    @annap5589 11 років тому +2

    "LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, IF I KILL THE BIRD, I GET BLING BLING" XD

  • @ghostofthebravegaming5393
    @ghostofthebravegaming5393 6 років тому +10

    Ring around the Rosie, guys it's messed up.
    Here's what the lyrics mean;
    -Ring around the Rosie,-
    That's a reference to the Black Plague, and the rashes it caused.
    -Pocket full of posies-
    Posy is a type of flower, and in the tone of the Black Plauge, people believed it was spread by the air, so they carried flowers in attempts to ward of the sickness
    -Ashes, ashes,-
    Does this even need an explanation? Cremation of the dead, when they could. Most just got dropped in mass graves or left on the street.
    -We all fall down!-
    We all die.
    Dark, I know.

    • @camillehollinger4944
      @camillehollinger4944 3 роки тому +1

      Most lullabies werer sung because people couldn't write and yes they would sing about things that were going on around them. However this guy spin on everything is funny.

  • @MasterAnakinSkyWalker
    @MasterAnakinSkyWalker Рік тому

    0:21
    The way he says “TREE” is hilarious

  • @breannarose1164
    @breannarose1164 8 років тому +4

    Lmao this dude cracks me up XD

  • @Shadowhunter414
    @Shadowhunter414 12 років тому +1

    I MET THIS GUY HES AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @hopeinchrist5734
    @hopeinchrist5734 5 років тому +2

    “So we’re in Kentucky now...”
    *me from and in Kentucky*
    Wellllll
    You may not be wrong🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Suedepants100
    @Suedepants100 Рік тому

    “THE BABY’S IN A TREE” 😂😂😂

  • @andysmith3737
    @andysmith3737 9 років тому +3

    My favorite comedian so funny!!!!!😁😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @tullymitchell9386
    @tullymitchell9386 6 років тому

    “Pop Goes the Weasel” was HYSTERICAL

  • @sophiacornette6309
    @sophiacornette6309 6 років тому

    Watching this on loop LOL

  • @annawaits690
    @annawaits690 2 роки тому

    The babies in a TREE!! 🤣

  • @terrylea5625
    @terrylea5625 8 років тому +1

    I never realized this!!!

  • @MsGinger4041
    @MsGinger4041 8 років тому +2

    He is so good! Very funny!

  • @TrainTrackTrav
    @TrainTrackTrav 12 років тому

    "uhp uhright 'isisin is one. Get 'a pen write this down" LOL! God bless!

  • @etannalight
    @etannalight 12 років тому

    This makes me very happy!!!!

  • @davidhays6286
    @davidhays6286 5 років тому

    AMAZING VIDEO THIS IS GOLD

  • @Furrymcwhiskers
    @Furrymcwhiskers 12 років тому

    POP GOES THE WEASEL!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha love that

  • @Misswarlord
    @Misswarlord 3 роки тому

    Pop goes the weasel 😂😂 fantastic

  • @logankirby7632
    @logankirby7632 6 років тому +1

    My favorite comedian of all time

  • @PuNkGrRrRrRl
    @PuNkGrRrRrRl 12 років тому +2

    IT`LL BE A HIT IN AMERICA THEY`LL LOVE IT! lol love his accent

  • @miloshort3553
    @miloshort3553 8 років тому

    i love singing the "pop goes the weasel" in the horor movie voice.

  • @durzagrimm6433
    @durzagrimm6433 7 років тому

    This HILARIOUS!!!

  • @giraffeNana2023
    @giraffeNana2023 Рік тому +1

    I sing Hush little baby to my 2 yr old grandson, but tweak the words. " if that billy goat won't bray, Nana's gonna take you to Chick-fil-A"!

  • @cannoina
    @cannoina 11 років тому

    The baby is in a TREE!!!! I died

  • @eddiemcrae1311
    @eddiemcrae1311 5 років тому +1

    POP GOES THE WEASLE!

  • @Morgan4746
    @Morgan4746 9 років тому

    This is the best one ever ;)

  • @NeeSaid247
    @NeeSaid247 13 років тому

    HALARIOUS!!!! I literally lol'd.

  • @micmikeman6865
    @micmikeman6865 2 роки тому +1

    My teacher showed the class this in 5th grade. 5 years later, I find it in my recommended