The Tweet Song - Tim Hawkins & Jonnie W.

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  • Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
  • Check out more at / timhawkinscomedy

КОМЕНТАРІ • 289

  • @Rassilon6
    @Rassilon6 5 місяців тому +46

    Wow, people really loved the Judas joke. True story: A friend once asked me if I ever noticed that the preacher at our church couldn't pronounce Iscariot correctly; he always said Is-a-carrot. I hadn't noticed. The next Sunday, he did an entire sermon about Judas Is-a-carrot. That was the toughest time I've ever had trying to suppress the giggles during church.

  • @yaynemyers394
    @yaynemyers394 7 років тому +25

    They found him in-between the couch cushions!

  • @ghostofthebravegaming5393
    @ghostofthebravegaming5393 6 років тому +63

    I would tell a joke about memory loss, but I forgot it!

  • @tinaprince5659
    @tinaprince5659 2 роки тому +3

    Being in your fifties and depressed dysfunctional dyslexic in the years2021 hysterically funny keeps me 😄

  • @shannonellefson444
    @shannonellefson444 7 років тому +11

    Can someone please make mullet over a thing?

  • @jameshatch1762
    @jameshatch1762 3 роки тому +1

    so hilarious

  • @originalmamagrizzly2478
    @originalmamagrizzly2478 3 роки тому +1

    Stopped using autocorrect... it changed everythOng!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @TheBubblyUnicorn
    @TheBubblyUnicorn 11 років тому +1

    i went to this one

  • @davidhtims
    @davidhtims 2 роки тому

    Making dad jokes mainstream lol

  • @CatsPajamas23
    @CatsPajamas23 4 роки тому +1

    Funny. (but tune your guitars, bro.)

  • @wendyokoopa7048
    @wendyokoopa7048 5 років тому

    Sorry but medical pot isn't bad

  • @notumbusbumbus3871
    @notumbusbumbus3871 3 роки тому

    Uh... Demetry Martin, y'all?

  • @SingingSpock
    @SingingSpock Рік тому +39

    Recently the inventor of the Hokey Pokey passed away. Took forever to get him into his coffin, though. They put the left leg in an that’s where the trouble started.

  • @ckmoore101
    @ckmoore101 2 роки тому +47

    "People who don't believe in autocorrect, go straight to heal".
    Damn, that is an unbelievably great juke.

  • @jq8974
    @jq8974 Рік тому +11

    Vegitales adding a character who betrayed Jesus. Please call him Judas is a Carrot!🥕 Unbelievable! You rock. Where have you been hiding? Keep going 👍 - we need you to help us ride this crazy time!

  • @gypsyrain369
    @gypsyrain369 6 місяців тому +13

    THANK YOU FOR THIS PAIRING ! Loved You Guys TOGETHER , CRACK ME UP ! BRILLIANT ! That's A RETWEET 🤣

  • @blurdrawsart
    @blurdrawsart 2 роки тому +31

    “And Sauron’s not gonna be happy happy happy.” I died 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @sherimcdaniel3491
    @sherimcdaniel3491 4 роки тому +56

    “Good friends are like fine wine, that’s why I keep mine locked in the cellar!!!!” HAHAHAHAHA. I should know better by now than to take a drink just before it’s Tims’ turn!!! Now I’ll have to repaint the wall opposite my bed.

    • @richardlloyd2589
      @richardlloyd2589 3 роки тому +1

      Ah the joys of getting older, used to be the wall behind the bed.

    • @tyrelhumble2006
      @tyrelhumble2006 3 роки тому

      @@richardlloyd2589
      Please explain

    • @richardlloyd2589
      @richardlloyd2589 3 роки тому

      @@tyrelhumble2006
      Without being too graphic, think being single and teenaged.

  • @j.d.wilkes7189
    @j.d.wilkes7189 Рік тому +13

    I heard that a scarecrow got promoted, because he was outstanding in his field.

  • @joeskis
    @joeskis Рік тому +17

    Making Steven Wright and Mitch Hedberg proud. They might even be jealous they hadn't thought of some of these.

  • @cedgson91
    @cedgson91 Рік тому +10

    People you don’t believe in autocorrect go straight to heel 😂😂😂😂

  • @PhantomLantern2814
    @PhantomLantern2814 Рік тому +15

    I love how Tim keeps cracking up at Jonnies bits.

  • @sandraglover2681
    @sandraglover2681 Рік тому +37

    My husband passed away in January this year, today is his birthday. Very emotional day today but Lord thank goodness for Tim Hawkins and his friends. I can always count on y'all to bring laughter and joy to this old girl's heart. Merry Christmas y'all

    • @theskinnypost
      @theskinnypost  Рік тому +10

      Praying for you now. I'm sorry for your loss. May God bless you with His peace.

    • @ittybittykittymama7582
      @ittybittykittymama7582 Рік тому +3

      Hi, Sandra, I hope that your heart is healing from your loss. I, too, lost the love of my life in 2009 and it took a while to find my footing again. In time, I allowed the love of God to break through the wall of pain around my heart. I found a scripture that said when you are widowed, He will be your husband. I came to lean on Him and allow Him to fill that place in my life.
      I hope that you can find this place of peace and healing. Much love from Tennessee. Becca

    • @sandraglover2681
      @sandraglover2681 Рік тому +4

      Healing is slow but daily through Christ. Thanking all for your prayers.
      gg in Tennessee

    • @annabennett5521
      @annabennett5521 Рік тому +3

      I'm so sorry for your loss 😢😢, I'm praying for you 🙏

    • @ahwheen
      @ahwheen Рік тому +3

      Sorry Sandra for your loss ♡

  • @jamesedgar3442
    @jamesedgar3442 9 років тому +239

    "If you're illiterate, you probably live your life by a set of unwritten rules." I LOVE IT!!!!!!

    • @thechickengamer4279
      @thechickengamer4279 5 років тому +1

      Wyft dyu sy

    • @brendasmith4524
      @brendasmith4524 5 років тому +1

      James Edgar god bless you James edgar.

    • @richardlloyd2589
      @richardlloyd2589 2 роки тому +3

      For fun…..
      If you’re an improv actor you probably live your life by unwritten roles.

  • @IanHulett
    @IanHulett 7 років тому +185

    Here's an old joke for a new tweet song: "They had trouble burrying the creator of the hokey pokey... he was burried with his left foot in and his right foot out."

    • @gwendaduffield721
      @gwendaduffield721 5 років тому

      Hopefully it's over I hate making videos 6

    • @richardlloyd2589
      @richardlloyd2589 5 років тому +1

      I heard the funeral was a very sombre affair, open casket etc.
      But when the pall bearers tripped on the steps to the church, the fun really started.......

    • @johnw2026
      @johnw2026 4 роки тому +3

      Y'all are going to heel... Lol!

    • @annek1226
      @annek1226 4 роки тому

      OMG! Stop! My sides hurt!

    • @sherimcdaniel3491
      @sherimcdaniel3491 4 роки тому +1

      420 Magnifique
      HILARIOUS!!!!!!! (I must say, thanks so much for planting that damn song in my head. Now I’ll have to live with it singing happily in my head-ALL DAY!)

  • @Runescope
    @Runescope 4 роки тому +32

    I'm an atheist and "Judas Isacarrot" is pure gold comedy.

  • @georgesitar4397
    @georgesitar4397 6 років тому +40

    Never make snow angels in a dog park.

  • @keepsaker548
    @keepsaker548 5 років тому +29

    I'm more of a KFC fighter.... LOL

  • @emeraldryder3496
    @emeraldryder3496 8 років тому +68

    I love how Tim's just showing off in between jokes

  • @knowledgetracker
    @knowledgetracker 4 роки тому +74

    Their dry delivery is hilarious!

    • @michaelvantuinen9216
      @michaelvantuinen9216 3 роки тому

      I didn’t get the Lego joke can somebody help me out

    • @knowledgetracker
      @knowledgetracker 3 роки тому

      @@michaelvantuinen9216 - LEGO's are little square plastic blocks that kids (or adults) use to build little buildings with.

    • @richardlloyd2589
      @richardlloyd2589 2 роки тому

      It’s from practice at delivering Dad jokes.

  • @basedbear1605
    @basedbear1605 3 роки тому +11

    Judas is a carrot... omg I'm dying!

  • @Chaplain_GM
    @Chaplain_GM 3 роки тому +9

    If you meet a rancher who's jolly chances are he's growing pot😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤦‍♂️

  • @spaceturtlemusic801
    @spaceturtlemusic801 6 років тому +173

    this could also be titled " almost 9 minutes of dad jokes"

  • @PatriotMomof5
    @PatriotMomof5 3 роки тому +40

    When I’m feeling down I watch Tim!! Makes me laugh and before I know it I’m feeling joyful!!

  • @brianmccarthy5657
    @brianmccarthy5657 Рік тому +7

    Tim and Jonnie together is more than twice as much of way too much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @PrincessLorie
    @PrincessLorie 5 років тому +70

    Watching this at 5am in bed and trying not to laugh and wake up my husband... so I just keep snorting. Y'all are just too funny, I love your clean humor. Thank you. ❤️

    • @900milesfromnormal3
      @900milesfromnormal3 2 роки тому +4

      Try being me. I'm watching at work and trying not to laugh...when I answer the phone...at the local hospital...and the caller is literally crying in pain.

  • @pietvanvliet1987
    @pietvanvliet1987 Рік тому +10

    Second uncle joke got me.
    Hats off sir, hats off.

  • @kwiechufithu
    @kwiechufithu 6 років тому +49

    Jonnie's pun are epic. My favorite - "conjoined twin...uncle from my father's side...once removed "😂

  • @melanne7901
    @melanne7901 Рік тому +4

    Another funny one about Johnnie's conjoined twin father, is if they were named Pete and RePete.

  • @cedgson91
    @cedgson91 Рік тому +5

    Judas is a carrot 😂😂😂😂

  • @gilbertg7
    @gilbertg7 2 роки тому +3

    I'm not American and English is not my first language.But I understood everything except the first tweet. Could a charitable soul please explain it to me?

    • @melmac15
      @melmac15 2 роки тому +2

      Sure.
      The pun is between “Mull it Over” (a phrase meaning to think about something over a period of time) and “Mullet Over” (‘mullet’ is a hair style where it’s short up front and long in the back-being here attributed to ‘Red-necks’.)
      Hope that helps some.

    • @gilbertg7
      @gilbertg7 2 роки тому +3

      @@melmac15 Thanks

  • @AmyMFry
    @AmyMFry 7 років тому +48

    I liked "Judas Iscarrot"

  • @Fox1nDen
    @Fox1nDen 5 років тому +15

    lego land joke was a sleeper.... hilarious

  • @kolenowacki7638
    @kolenowacki7638 8 років тому +62

    I have a "he who does not believe in auto correct go straight to he'll" Tee signed by both Tim and Jonny!!!!

    • @liquidsleepgames3661
      @liquidsleepgames3661 5 років тому

      Oh go to help

    • @MegaGermanShepherds
      @MegaGermanShepherds 4 роки тому

      Yet sometimes autocorrect is not always helpful because it gives wrong words part of the time.

    • @heidibower2538
      @heidibower2538 3 місяці тому

      I stopped using autocorrect. It changed every thong.

  • @EmmaKnickerbocker
    @EmmaKnickerbocker 9 років тому +29

    I`m going to heel for laughing at the conjoined twins one too early as well.

  • @prodigalthinker
    @prodigalthinker 11 років тому +24

    Judas is a carrot.. BWAHAHAHA!!!!

  • @sicariius7682
    @sicariius7682 8 років тому +21

    Old MacDonald was dyslexic o-i-e-i-e

  • @blazenjj2439
    @blazenjj2439 6 років тому +11

    My Uncle on My Father's Side, My Uncle Once Removed

  • @barrettdecutler8979
    @barrettdecutler8979 4 роки тому +16

    Props to Tim for taking the much harder guitar part.

  • @4GodLoves
    @4GodLoves 5 років тому +7

    "If you're illiterate, you probably live your life by a list of unwritten rules"... HA!

  • @goaway4236
    @goaway4236 6 років тому +21

    I'm a Lord of the Rings and Duck Dynasty fan so when I heard that one tweet I was like, "HAHAHAHAHAHA...nope."

  • @arianayavny8271
    @arianayavny8271 4 роки тому +14

    The jokes are even funnier when they laugh at their one jokes

    • @gabesmom29
      @gabesmom29 Рік тому +1

      I’m thinking a few of the jokes they just came up with on the fly. It is funnier when they crack up at their own jokes.

    • @nancyhowell4505
      @nancyhowell4505 6 місяців тому

      *own jokes (?) 🙂

  • @lisagrafitti1871
    @lisagrafitti1871 6 років тому +12

    I thought I was going to shut my computer down and ran across this. I have seen Tim Hawkins twice and almost peed my pants up the aisle laughing so hard.

  • @frankuebelackerlll9099
    @frankuebelackerlll9099 4 роки тому +3

    Also if your illiterate you do have judge a book by its cover

  • @jl_studios
    @jl_studios 10 років тому +31

    Old McDonald was dyslexic, O-I-E-I-E!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahaha priceless

    • @KaRLa66626
      @KaRLa66626 10 років тому +3

      I LOVE THAT ONE!
      And also the man who invented the television remote. ^_^

  • @christiannorton9400
    @christiannorton9400 10 років тому +45

    "retweet"? GENIUS! rofl

  • @messyroomstudios1989
    @messyroomstudios1989 8 років тому +17

    I like the one about the guy who invented the TV remote!

  • @katguid2011
    @katguid2011 9 років тому +23

    Whenever I want to be alone I go the the mall and hold a clipboard!!!!

  • @shauni..
    @shauni.. 6 років тому +10

    That’s not the joke mam.. you gotta lot of nerve 😂😂🤣

    • @deepbluefyre777
      @deepbluefyre777 6 років тому +4

      That deadpan facial expression. 🤣🤣🤣

    • @shauni..
      @shauni.. 6 років тому +3

      Shadras9 yes!! That’s what took me out 😂

  • @bobmistark3836
    @bobmistark3836 4 роки тому +9

    Thanks for the laughs.

  • @twicebitten260
    @twicebitten260 4 роки тому +32

    Lost all my family on 12/23 4 years ago, so this is a tough time of year for me......just found this and needed it. Badly

    • @annek1226
      @annek1226 4 роки тому +10

      Hang in there. We will say a prayer!

    • @dukezilla3471
      @dukezilla3471 6 місяців тому +1

      God is closest to those in grief 🙏

    • @denahamlin2059
      @denahamlin2059 3 місяці тому +1

      Read your comment on your family... soooo sorry!
      May God bless and comfort you!!! Crawl up in His Loving Lap ans let Him hold you to His heart and rest thete....

  • @ironmandave3000
    @ironmandave3000 6 років тому +8

    funny funny funny. just Twisted enough for my sense of humor.

  • @pappy451
    @pappy451 6 років тому +8

    damn Tim can play .
    a retweet he says , lmao . the best one was the last one . . .

  • @allison9615
    @allison9615 7 років тому +15

    The Judas Iscarrot was my favorite. Too bad that VeggieTales ain't gonna do it because their number one rule is can't portray Jesus as a vegetable.

    • @mamabambina3829
      @mamabambina3829 6 років тому +13

      Allison Barrett Because He's the bread of life 😂😂😂😂

    • @patriciabass9502
      @patriciabass9502 3 роки тому +1

      @@mamabambina3829 haha now that was funny

  • @glewman
    @glewman 5 років тому +4

    Jolly Rancher pot joke , Jolly Rancher founded in Colorado.

  • @marybarrett146
    @marybarrett146 7 років тому +10

    these guys are hillarios!!!!

  • @ChrisDoss12
    @ChrisDoss12 Рік тому +2

    Here’s my plan. When I die I’m going to be cremated. It’s my last chance to ever have a smokin’ hot body.

  • @luisamador8460
    @luisamador8460 2 роки тому +4

    My favorite part is the retweet joke

  • @simeonbaumel7293
    @simeonbaumel7293 5 років тому +3

    Veggie tales..... Judas is a carrot... OR... Judas Asparagus

    • @glenkaiser633
      @glenkaiser633 4 роки тому +4

      If they did one of the angels announcing the birth of Jesus to the shepherds. Have the shepherds be heads of lettuce, and sing "Oh come lettuce adore Him".

  • @lindalape8493
    @lindalape8493 Рік тому +4

    Laughing out loud at this. Too funny and clever!

  • @TheRealDrJoey
    @TheRealDrJoey 3 роки тому +7

    This is a slice of the sublime.

  • @maskandvaccinefreeandproud2110
    @maskandvaccinefreeandproud2110 2 роки тому +4

    I wonder what their first run through is like when they havnt heard each other’s tweet. Lol!

  • @alekssan1694
    @alekssan1694 2 роки тому +3

    Frisbee golf = Disc golf = ♡ ♡ ♡

  • @gregschaper5807
    @gregschaper5807 4 роки тому +11

    "Judas is a carrot" Oh my God funny.

    • @difficultjourney3216
      @difficultjourney3216 3 роки тому

      I don't think God thinks it's funny.

    • @shilohstore6086
      @shilohstore6086 3 роки тому

      English is not my first language why is that funny

    • @difficultjourney3216
      @difficultjourney3216 3 роки тому

      @@shilohstore6086 Judas's surname "Iscariot" sounds a little like "is a carrot" in English. Only a luke- warm/carnal Christian would find that funny though. Judas betrayed the Son of God and is now being tormented in hell for eternity. Nothing I would joke about.

    • @gregschaper5807
      @gregschaper5807 3 роки тому +1

      @@difficultjourney3216 You must still be worshipping the Old Testament od that had no sense of humor and went around smiting everyone. I believe the New Testament God finds it quite funny. Smart people like puns. Maybe there's a reason that you don't.

    • @difficultjourney3216
      @difficultjourney3216 3 роки тому

      @@gregschaper5807 You're not even a Christian. You're a gnostic.

  • @Dan-sb2fb
    @Dan-sb2fb 4 роки тому +5

    i’m totally stealing a bunch of tim’s guitar licks

  • @greendaleforever
    @greendaleforever 6 років тому +11

    This should have been called "Dad Jokes"

    • @barryschwarz
      @barryschwarz 5 років тому +3

      It should have been called "Awesome Dad jokes."

  • @CarolFennessy
    @CarolFennessy 23 дні тому +2

    Just found Jonnie recently but have known about Tim for a long time. Just about didn't survrve laughing. Thanks guys

    • @Guitarplayer724
      @Guitarplayer724 23 дні тому

      Same, found Jonnie on the Dry Bar Comedy channel just a week or two ago.

  • @TheChazaqingdude
    @TheChazaqingdude 7 років тому +8

    That was a retweet. LOL

  • @feat.shanika
    @feat.shanika 6 років тому +18

    Please make lord of the rings 4 and let Phil from duck dynasty be Gandalf. Gandolf what do we do?! (In Phil's voice) it's looks like we need to go to moreadore and Sions not gonna be happy happy happy 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @robertmounce2667
    @robertmounce2667 4 роки тому +3

    I'd WATCH Mullet Over! Lol

  • @noneofyourbusiness5626
    @noneofyourbusiness5626 3 роки тому +4

    He makes me laugh without saying anything

  • @carolynssistercantcook1181
    @carolynssistercantcook1181 3 роки тому +3

    Judas is a carrot! I lost it

  • @mclel217
    @mclel217 Рік тому +3

    Now, that's funny, don't care who you are

  • @JoeyGABC123
    @JoeyGABC123 3 роки тому +2

    Dimitri Martin called and wants his act back. Good stuff though.

  • @maskandvaccinefreeandproud2110
    @maskandvaccinefreeandproud2110 2 роки тому +4

    This was absolutely brilliant. Wow. 🤣

  • @elijahjohnston-ligesha
    @elijahjohnston-ligesha Рік тому +2

    we have ALL said thong instead of thing lol

  • @wendyokoopa7048
    @wendyokoopa7048 5 років тому +3

    Tim and Johnnie should team up with Danny from most amazing top ten for an album of stupid tweets

  • @kaiga1
    @kaiga1 5 років тому +4

    hahaha i enjoyed this way more than i was expecting to

  • @noellepcm3744
    @noellepcm3744 9 років тому +5

    Or "Good friends are like fine wine, there old

  • @enigmaepic17
    @enigmaepic17 6 років тому +7

    Keep on miking that G chord

  • @lyndaadams7097
    @lyndaadams7097 2 роки тому +4

    Laughed so much thank you guys.

  • @HousBinPhartiin
    @HousBinPhartiin 2 роки тому +3

    Awesome!

  • @relentlessmadman
    @relentlessmadman Рік тому +1

    I couldn't help but notice the tweet song is in the key of G???????

  • @debmeder7127
    @debmeder7127 Рік тому +2

    I enjoyed your song 🤩

  • @michaelvantuinen9216
    @michaelvantuinen9216 3 роки тому +2

    I love the veggie tales one then the weed jolly rancher one.

  • @beatlesfabfan
    @beatlesfabfan 2 місяці тому +1

    The Lego tweet is hilarious!

  • @attayalafayette155
    @attayalafayette155 3 роки тому +2

    "That's not the joke ma'am"

  • @westondecker68
    @westondecker68 4 роки тому +2

    Dad jokes set to guitar music.

  • @jeffmclaughlin8564
    @jeffmclaughlin8564 5 років тому +4

    OMG Judas is a carrot! LOL

    • @glenkaiser633
      @glenkaiser633 4 роки тому +1

      If they did one of the angels announcing the birth of Jesus to the shepherds. Have the shepherds be heads of lettuce, and sing "Oh come lettuce adore Him".

  • @terriecalamusa9303
    @terriecalamusa9303 2 роки тому +2

    These are some funny guys!!!!!! 😁