Ranking Every Mario Kart 8 Track by How Safe It Is

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @j0rts
    @j0rts  Рік тому +1616

    Stay safe out there

  • @thatguyhanzo3468
    @thatguyhanzo3468 Рік тому +2055

    I must say thwomp ruins got rated VERY high for a track with no guard rails, jumps, rolling boulders, and, well, thwomps

    • @shannonhartfield2100
      @shannonhartfield2100 Рік тому +311

      The Thwomps paid for a higher score.

    • @djroscurro9859
      @djroscurro9859 Рік тому +120

      ​@@shannonhartfield2100they did pave all the roads after all

    • @adora_was_taken
      @adora_was_taken Рік тому +85

      @@djroscurro9859 the kart-industrial complex is insidious. it goes all the way to the very top.

    • @paulstock260
      @paulstock260 11 місяців тому +17

      ⁠​⁠@@djroscurro9859I thought Whomps were the ones that paved the roads, not Thwomps?

    • @djroscurro9859
      @djroscurro9859 11 місяців тому +26

      @@paulstock260 True, but they're usually close to each other. They share a brotherhood. Hell, Thwomps reside in Whomps fortress alongside the Whomps.

  • @pedroleitevik5523
    @pedroleitevik5523 Рік тому +1790

    To be fair, with 1up mushrooms and necromancy, the mushroom kingdom most likely have incredible healthcare wich is most likely why they seem to ignore any and all safety precautions

    • @MatthewConnellan-xc3oj
      @MatthewConnellan-xc3oj Рік тому +159

      Yeah, when your healthcare is that good, at that point, safety is just a waste of resources

    • @johnrickard8512
      @johnrickard8512 Рік тому +104

      1-up mushrooms ARE necromancy...but they are damn good at it. Hyrule also has these things called Fairies which are just as good.

    • @yohhh6715
      @yohhh6715 Рік тому +25

      @@johnrickard8512Doesn't the fairy die? I don't remember any shopkeepers selling any fairies and you often catch them yourself so i guess it has to be taboo

    • @johnrickard8512
      @johnrickard8512 Рік тому +42

      @@yohhh6715 it isn't that they die but that they are often in places that a mere NPC may have trouble getting to.

    • @elvingearmasterirma7241
      @elvingearmasterirma7241 Рік тому +36

      ​@@yohhh6715 What? No!!
      The fairy just flies away after healing you up!
      which i mean considering you stuff em into a jar beforehand is super duper nice of em
      But yea. No fairies die. Theyre just difficult to get your hands on because they often are in monster infested areas or just hard to reach areas

  • @HarleyMaebry
    @HarleyMaebry Рік тому +3960

    Definitely gonna need Safety Inspector j0rts’s Safety Ratings on the DLC tracks before I invest my money into something potentially dangerous.

    • @PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth
      @PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth Рік тому +101

      Excellent point. If you play Super Smash Bros, I recommend watching the video that goes over each stage's OSHA violations, so you can be certain you only fight in absolute safety.

    • @titouanv4532
      @titouanv4532 Рік тому +7

      But he did them

    • @V00doo1Xim
      @V00doo1Xim Рік тому

      ​@@titouanv4532link to video?

    • @TotalDramaHarold
      @TotalDramaHarold Рік тому +15

      @@titouanv4532I think they meant the booster ones

    • @TomBrady-xf9mq
      @TomBrady-xf9mq Рік тому +3

      LOL that's funny

  • @rybot7182
    @rybot7182 Рік тому +1283

    "Drome" was originally an ancient Greek word, 'dromos,' meaning 'course.' It gained notoriety through the Greek hippodromos, chariot racing arenas where brave Disney characters would fight to the death in the gaaaaaames as Danny Devito coached them from the sidelines. The French later stole the word and cut off the last few letters as they're wont to do, resulting in 'drome,' and continued the racecourse tradition with Formula Une. Danny Devito's love of various methods of transportation would later result in variations such as the motordrome and aerodrome. The widespread adoption of electricity would eventually lead to famed inventor Deadmoufive creating electronic music, whose pairing with Japanese go-kart enthusiasts and esteemed Mario villain Doug Bowser culminated in the creation of the Electrodrome: a musically imbued go-kart race track.

    • @j0rts
      @j0rts  Рік тому +315

      Wow thank you, I feel so much wiser now

    • @MisterNohbdy
      @MisterNohbdy Рік тому +223

      this incomprehensible mesh of information and nonsense truly captures the zeitgeist of our time

    • @LotoTheHero
      @LotoTheHero Рік тому +15

      Thank you for the insight!

    • @OliverSchlecter
      @OliverSchlecter Рік тому +46

      @@MisterNohbdyperchance

    • @danielgoldberg8214
      @danielgoldberg8214 Рік тому +28

      You did not have to go this damn hard with your comment

  • @rurintoge7425
    @rurintoge7425 Рік тому +463

    This video made me realise I never quite took the time to just... look at the tracks. Missed so many details before! Granted, it IS safest to keep your eyes on the road while driving...

    • @jonahdunch4056
      @jonahdunch4056 Рік тому +27

      Would recommend Any Austin for this kind of content - he has a video just exploring "odd and unremarkable" places in Mariokart Wii, and it revealed a lot of the beautifully rough edges in that game

    • @geaux13saints56
      @geaux13saints56 Рік тому +9

      Literally, I’ve never seen those bats on yoshi valley or that construction sign on grumble volcano

    • @crinsombone5380
      @crinsombone5380 4 місяці тому +1

      Personally I love going on the time trials and just explore the tracks

  • @WCircuit7224
    @WCircuit7224 Рік тому +1109

    Now I want to see a mod where every track is made safer based on this

    • @DanielHarveyDyer
      @DanielHarveyDyer Рік тому +70

      Let's get them all up to FIA grade one, and the complain about track limits for 90 minutes every Sunday!

    • @CheesyLizzy
      @CheesyLizzy Рік тому +19

      I like this idea 😆
      First off, we gotta add safety rails everywhere we can

    • @IShy2
      @IShy2 Рік тому +18

      I'd call the mod "easy tracks"

    • @atsukana1704
      @atsukana1704 Рік тому +9

      Just imagine all the good tracks but more boring

    • @JonathanWalcott
      @JonathanWalcott 11 місяців тому +5

      @@atsukana1704 i got an idea we make it so there is no ramps or boosts

  • @Automaton_Spy_Network
    @Automaton_Spy_Network Рік тому +85

    I love the idea of this random real life safety inspector being called in to professionally analyze the safety of fictitious and out there worlds. And him fully taking it as professionally as possible

  • @techoeastveld
    @techoeastveld Рік тому +306

    The fact he uses a real Mercedes car colab vehicle to test these tracks, really shows his dedication to keeping us safe!

  • @PenelopeStoneVT
    @PenelopeStoneVT Рік тому +503

    How did Thwomp's Ruins get that high a score after almost dying several times? lol

    • @taida8511
      @taida8511 Рік тому +135

      The very reason why I went to look at the comments. Especially right after Sweet Sweet Canyon got a lot less points, despite Thwomp Ruins having all the things that made SSC dangerous, and in addition to that, it's own dangers too. I'm starting to doubt how safe it is to have someone like j0rts judge the safety of tracks...

  • @haroeneissa790
    @haroeneissa790 Рік тому +235

    I love how Sunshine airport implies that the mushroom Kingdom is absolutely massive and not just some small country with a few villages like most people imagine it. Bone dry dunes is an almost 6 hour flight. That is similair to the amount of time it takes to fly from Amsterdam to Dubai in the real world.
    But somehow the metro connects all those places which means that the metro stations must be incredibly far apart.

    • @MisterNohbdy
      @MisterNohbdy Рік тому +25

      but everybody in the Mushroom Kingdom uses zeppelin-style airships, so a 6-hour flight by one of those is probably like a 30-minute plane trip

    • @haroeneissa790
      @haroeneissa790 Рік тому +35

      @@MisterNohbdy the planes at Sunshine airport seem to be regular planes.

    • @Dexuz
      @Dexuz Рік тому +4

      Which is kind of bullshit as the continent where the Mushroom Kingdom exists is quite small, as you can see on Mario Odyssey's globe.

    • @haroeneissa790
      @haroeneissa790 Рік тому +20

      @@Dexuz Maybe the planet is much bigger than earth. We don't get anything as a reference for scale and we don't know how long it takes for mario to travel between the Kingdoms.

    • @Dexuz
      @Dexuz Рік тому +1

      @@haroeneissa790
      That's a possibility although the planet would have to be very big, and big rocky planets cannot exist as they would collapse into gaseous planets.

  • @amesstarline5482
    @amesstarline5482 Рік тому +63

    The helmeted look of Miis really sells the Safety Inspector vibes, that and being in a realistic car.

  • @StarshadowMelody
    @StarshadowMelody Рік тому +88

    "Bowser's castle has a _Lot Of Work To Do._ 2.1 out of 10."
    Bowser: "Yup, gotta get that 0.5."

  • @LocalGhostSoru
    @LocalGhostSoru Рік тому +130

    I appreciate that the antigravity isn't counted as danger, as it's safe enough to stop upside down without any problem

    • @sinteleon
      @sinteleon Рік тому +26

      As long as there are proper guardrails keeping you on the anti-grav.

  • @the-inatorinator
    @the-inatorinator Рік тому +167

    Yes I want to see this for the DLC, it was hilarious. The concept is already funny, but what put it over the edge was your role as the safety inspector instead of a random youtuber talking about safety

  • @nikk-named
    @nikk-named Рік тому +235

    It took me to Toad Harbor to realise that it wasn't a rating of how dangerous the track is, but how safe it is.
    Now everything makes a lot more sense.

    • @axisred2301
      @axisred2301 Рік тому +57

      Baby Park danger level: 9.9/10

    • @Vanta526
      @Vanta526 7 місяців тому +2

      @@axisred2301 XDD

  • @everest5718
    @everest5718 Рік тому +94

    Extra note with every underwater track: In this game you can play as Inklings! Who are well known to be unable to swim or be submerged in water >:( this means they are even less safe as any unsuspecting inkling could be splatted!!

    • @Drizzilenotreal
      @Drizzilenotreal 7 місяців тому +11

      actually, if we assume this isnt salt water, theyre fine!

    • @mikeb5415
      @mikeb5415 4 місяці тому

      There probably fine , they don’t dissolve , so it’s fine

  • @GTCMoxxie
    @GTCMoxxie Рік тому +379

    jorts never fails to do the thing where you do the thing to find out how to do the thing

    • @j0rts
      @j0rts  Рік тому +85

      That’s a great description of my channel

    • @Bulblorb
      @Bulblorb Рік тому +16

      Facts

    • @linkfan0542
      @linkfan0542 Рік тому

      *j0rts

  • @bruh_dah_
    @bruh_dah_ Рік тому +67

    I remember in Mario Kart 7 when i was a kid i use to hold my breath when i enter any underwater sections for as long as i lasted racing there, Wario's Shipyard was a killer for me

  • @tiannaroberts6153
    @tiannaroberts6153 Рік тому +53

    I disagree with giving water park a lower score due to you not being able to breathe underwater. This park was obviously made for a different sort of creature with different needs, saying that their park is bad because it has alot of places for fish-pigs to breathe is biased. If you are going off this standard, then Mario Kart Stadium should get a much lower score because it doesn't have anywhere for fish-pigs to breathe and is extremely hazardous to them. Especially when you consider the Water Park was ruled more dangerous than Thwomp Ruins which has multiple things in it that could crush and instantly kill you.

    • @nicholasstanton9575
      @nicholasstanton9575 2 місяці тому

      Bro turned into a nerd (sort of)

    • @ShrekNumberOneEnjoyer
      @ShrekNumberOneEnjoyer Місяць тому

      You can see the Fish Pigs breathing without water. The very fact that the Amusement Park is located directly on a Race Track is a hazard in itself.

    • @JoJoSiwaPhobic
      @JoJoSiwaPhobic Місяць тому

      @@nicholasstanton9575he didn’t, if being a nerd is having a opinion then I’m a nerd I guess.

  • @ethancheng6734
    @ethancheng6734 Рік тому +116

    On Toad’s Turnpike there are signs that say “no limits”. Very safe indeed.

  • @CK_123
    @CK_123 Рік тому +105

    You know, I had no idea that slowly running into hazards didn’t actually stun you, neat

  • @commander-fox-q7573
    @commander-fox-q7573 8 місяців тому +3

    19:32 has gotta be one of the best lines I’ve heard in a while. Nice to see so many safety enthusiasts out there!

  • @Pumpernikkle
    @Pumpernikkle Рік тому +131

    Im starting think your safety officer certification isn’t legitimate…..

    • @LotoTheHero
      @LotoTheHero Рік тому +16

      No way! Seems totally legit!

    • @AnonymOus-ss9jj
      @AnonymOus-ss9jj 10 місяців тому +2

      In the Mushroom Kingdom you don't need certification.

    • @TheManofBrisk
      @TheManofBrisk 7 місяців тому +11

      ​@@LotoTheHeroDude said a desert track with a quicksand pit and giant spiky caterpillars is safer than a country road with a mole problem. The inconsistency in the rating criteria actually bothers me.

    • @CucuiKingGanondorf
      @CucuiKingGanondorf Місяць тому

      @@TheManofBriskOCD? I’m all too familiar with it, so I’m just curious.

  • @javagirl98
    @javagirl98 Рік тому +67

    This is the most anyone has ever used the “reverse” button in this game.

    • @angelogaray8019
      @angelogaray8019 9 місяців тому +4

      Me on 200cc:

    • @Mr-Trox
      @Mr-Trox 3 місяці тому +2

      I dunno, bagging and reversing at the start line is a very popular strategy on certain tracks in online play.

  • @Jeetaruey
    @Jeetaruey Рік тому +26

    There is actually 4 Animal Crossing tracks. There is one for each season and you only inspected the summer one. Which one you get is randomly generated, so you will have to try a few times to get the rest.

    • @TheManofBrisk
      @TheManofBrisk 7 місяців тому +7

      Actually while you're selecting Animal Crossing, you can hold down R, L, ZR, or ZL to choose which season you want to race in. Each button corresponds to a different season, I don't remember which one is what.

  • @eusier9403
    @eusier9403 Рік тому +27

    This is like how fast can you touch death but Mario Kart version

  • @alyssalong7913
    @alyssalong7913 Рік тому +80

    Please do more once wave 6 is out! This was so fun to watch!

  • @alansmithee419
    @alansmithee419 Рік тому +13

    1:40
    You forgot the fact that if you drive into water at high speed it's almost like driving into concrete. The deceleration on impact will be immensely unsafe.
    Also if you're in a vehicle with just your head poking above the body of the car the car's gonna wanna keep going and your head aint.
    Whiplash go brbrrrr.

  • @Goatman_Gamer
    @Goatman_Gamer Рік тому +5

    A drome is a place for running or racing. And agreed, I thought it was electro dome at first too.

  • @therawkhawk64
    @therawkhawk64 Рік тому +22

    I loved this one. A j0rts video never fails to entertain. In addition to the DLC for Mario Kart 8 DX, I'd love to see you give the bois over at CTR a safety check.

  • @MasterLagoz
    @MasterLagoz Рік тому +12

    This is what they mean with the saying "cutting corners," so many corners without safety railings just to save on money!

  • @PhoenixAce64
    @PhoenixAce64 Рік тому +101

    When jorts uploads you know it’s gonna be a good time.

  • @BobTheAnimeDude
    @BobTheAnimeDude Рік тому +7

    I never noticed how demonic the snowman on sherbet land looks lmao

  • @TheRandom000
    @TheRandom000 Рік тому +11

    My man rated an amusement park 4 points higher than just a normal town

  • @reaganmonkey8
    @reaganmonkey8 Рік тому +5

    In NeoBowser City, it is always raining, which decreases friction and makes guardrails even more important.

  • @ericrautio7451
    @ericrautio7451 Рік тому +10

    I'd say most of the antigravity sections, particularly the ones that go fully sideways or upside down, would DEFINITELY count against the safety rating since there's no obvious safety precautions in place for if the mechanism causing the antigravity effect malfunctions

    • @AnonymOus-ss9jj
      @AnonymOus-ss9jj 10 місяців тому +2

      I don't think he's there to rate the safety of the anti-gravity, and probably assumes that somebody else will do it. (Nobody will.)

  • @cyberknightgaming2094
    @cyberknightgaming2094 Рік тому +23

    your "how fast can you _________ in every __________ game?" series is what made you take off and i like that but IMO these kinds of vids are better

  • @3possumsinatrenchcoat
    @3possumsinatrenchcoat Рік тому +23

    important question: how quickly can you become cool in every Mario Game? (touch ice)

  • @arthurlaurencon1697
    @arthurlaurencon1697 Рік тому +7

    Jeez this is exactly the type of content I crave. Not a Nintendo game but I'd love to see someone rank the Dark Souls 1 bonfires by how comfy they are.

  • @mattm7220
    @mattm7220 Рік тому +7

    Wait... *THAT'S* how to get up to that ledge in Bone Dry Dunes!? By purposely running into the *obvious stage hazard* that in any other course would destroy you instantly? 🤯

  • @ninjaydes
    @ninjaydes Рік тому +3

    As someone who enjoys Mario Kart, I think sharp corners are the worst safety infraction... but this video and its literal sense safety standards brought a smile to my face. Thank you.

  • @TheWeirdcoreMan
    @TheWeirdcoreMan Рік тому +7

    Such a generous lad, risking his own life to keep us safe. Definitely much appreciated 🗿

  • @yoshidababies4222
    @yoshidababies4222 8 місяців тому +4

    Never noticed the subway map or airport departures screen! Thank you for helping me see new details!

  • @boshman11
    @boshman11 Рік тому +9

    How did Thwomp ruins end up with that high a score with crushing boulders, edges that lead to a free fall, a jump into a possible underwater segment and one jump down a giant flight of stairs across a chasm?
    I was pretty surprised to see it fare better than Waterpark

  • @Lukingordex
    @Lukingordex 4 місяці тому +1

    Dry Dry Desert: has a giant quick sand spot on the middle of the road that would suck and suffocate any living being with no warnings whatsoever.
    J0rts: "This gotta be one of the safest deserts out there"

  • @notshockwavedemon7543
    @notshockwavedemon7543 Рік тому +15

    Rainbow Road being the most dangerous track is what I expected. Good

  • @oddishsmile7368
    @oddishsmile7368 11 місяців тому +2

    As someone who lives near cows moo moo meadows is way safer than the real thing. You haven't lived until you've turned a blind corner and there's a cow sleeping in the road that you have to wait for.

  • @just_ur_local_idiot
    @just_ur_local_idiot Рік тому +4

    I love how Mario kart puts ur character's life in danger, it adds to the thrill!

  • @stanzacosmi
    @stanzacosmi Рік тому +2

    22:41 Fun fact. In the original, waluigi was actually so tall he could get hit by that. Meaning they actually took safety into consideration and adjusted the ride for its antigrav appearance

  • @semaJCh
    @semaJCh Рік тому +4

    This knowledge will keep me much more secure 🚗

  • @LeamonPuppy
    @LeamonPuppy Рік тому +2

    The Canadian accent was wild

  • @epp678
    @epp678 Рік тому +12

    Mushroom Cup
    Mario Kart Stadium: 8.3/10
    Water Park: 5.2/10
    Sweet Sweet Canyon: 4.9/10
    Thwomp Ruins: 5.7/10
    Flower Cup
    Mario Circuit: 8.1/10
    Toad Harbor: 8/10
    Twisted Mansion: 4.8/10
    Shy Guy Falls: 5.3/10
    Star Cup
    Sunshine Airport: 6.6/10
    Dolphin Shoals: 4.2/10
    Electrodrome: 7.1/10
    Mount Wario: 5/10
    Special Cup
    Cloudtop Cruise: 4.9/10
    Bone Dry Dunes: 6.3/10
    Bowser’s Castle: 2.1/10
    Rainbow Road: 1.9/10
    Shell Cup
    Moo Moo Meadows: 8.5/10
    Mario Circuit (GBA): 8.1/10
    Cheep Cheep Beach: 7.7/10
    Toad’s Turnpike: 8.2/10
    Banana Cup
    Dry Dry Desert: 7.3/10
    Donut Plains 3: 6.9/10
    Royal Raceway: 8.3/10
    DK Jungle: 4.3/10
    Leaf Cup
    Wario Stadium: 4.5/10
    Sherbert Land: 6.8/10
    Music Park: 5.7/10
    Yoshi Valley: 6.1/10
    Lightning Cup
    Tick-Tock Clock: 6.4/10
    Piranha Plant Slide: 3.7/10
    Grumble Volcano: 2.3/10
    Rainbow Road (N64): 4.8/10
    Egg Cup
    Yoshi Circuit: 8.4/10
    Excitebike Arena: 9.2/10
    Dragon Driftway: 7.9/10
    Mute City: 5.1/10
    Tri-Force Cup
    Wario’s Gold Mine: 5.4/10
    Rainbow Road (SNES): 4.9/10
    Ice Ice Outpost: 8.6/10
    Hyrule Circuit: 7/10
    Crossing Cup
    Baby Park: 9.9/10
    Cheese Land: 6/10
    Wild Woods: 6.2/10
    Animal Crossing: 8.2/10
    Bell Cup
    Neo Bowser City: 5.9/10
    Ribbon Road: 6.1/10
    Super-Bell Subway: 6.2/10
    Big Blue: 4.7/10

  • @konekoray9323
    @konekoray9323 Рік тому +1

    Giving Baby Park a 9.9 safety rating like it’s not a veritable slaughter ground for infants in any context other than hot lapping.

  • @HmmmmmLemmeThinkNo
    @HmmmmmLemmeThinkNo Рік тому +4

    I loved this!! I also love that first and last were predictable, but nothing else was c:

  • @DanielSanGMR
    @DanielSanGMR Рік тому +2

    Return of the King

  • @DaShikuXI
    @DaShikuXI Рік тому +9

    I appreciate how you managed to make a character that does in fact just scream safety inspector.

  • @RainShinotsu
    @RainShinotsu Рік тому +3

    Thank you for the inspection, but I'm gonna need a breakdown on these scores. Some of them felt way underrated

  • @bingusbongus9807
    @bingusbongus9807 Рік тому +5

    you failed to account for the employed lakatus that save you from any falling hazards, still more dangerous then railings(although since this removes the possibility for a crash into the railings it could be safer) since the lakatus could fail it is still a great attempt to reduce the hazards of these unsafe environments and should have been considered

  • @Sly88Frye
    @Sly88Frye Рік тому +1

    Okay wow! Now I wish you would just do this for all the Mario Kart games because this actually is a surprisingly brilliant and funny idea. It was a lot of fun to watch and listen to your commentary

  • @Kesune5
    @Kesune5 Рік тому +11

    That was fun and an interesting view through the tracks. Please do it with the DLC courses as well. =)

    • @spicybeantofu
      @spicybeantofu Рік тому

      Gotta wait for them all first

    • @adora_was_taken
      @adora_was_taken Рік тому

      @@spicybeantofu they are here. i expect to hear some words about wii rainbow road.

  • @wafity
    @wafity Рік тому +2

    Hill climb racing is even more dangerous!

  • @comehaveabageltv
    @comehaveabageltv Рік тому +3

    I want the checklist on some of these deductions. Toad's Turnpike got hosed on the safety rating.

  • @doodlebug47
    @doodlebug47 Рік тому +2

    "Looks like we got a classic case of THERE'S LAVA EVERYWHERE."

  • @Mobtrapper-hq8is
    @Mobtrapper-hq8is Рік тому +4

    1:20 *They’re called Noki!*

  • @ErickTurdan
    @ErickTurdan Рік тому +1

    "I dont know why there'd be CHOCOLATE ON BUBBLEGUM" 😂😂😂

  • @dscrib2492
    @dscrib2492 Рік тому +6

    finally, the safety inspector showed up. we've been waiting for you for a decade!

  • @eclipsicalbluestocking1182
    @eclipsicalbluestocking1182 9 місяців тому +1

    There's something really cute and wholesome about that safety inspector Mii and his slow driving

  • @ragnell27
    @ragnell27 Рік тому +4

    J0rts is always asking the important questions.

  • @RadioSPD
    @RadioSPD Рік тому +1

    i love watching some guy rank mario kart tracks on how safe they are at 4 am 💪💪💪💪

  • @QMADDEN
    @QMADDEN Рік тому +5

    You should do how safe are the smash bros levels

  • @Th4tC4t
    @Th4tC4t Рік тому +1

    9:35 you have now commited vehicular coppaslaughter

  • @LotoTheHero
    @LotoTheHero Рік тому +5

    I really appreciate your attention to safety. I hope you've spoken to the Mario Kart officials so that they can be made aware of these oversights and have them looked into.

  • @Jopes
    @Jopes Рік тому +2

    Baby park is worst because of the fatal levels of boredom

  • @ChuckTP1
    @ChuckTP1 9 місяців тому +5

    here from sambucha newest video

  • @dili3713
    @dili3713 Рік тому +2

    I love how he sounds like a real inspecter😂

  • @manupm9161
    @manupm9161 Рік тому +6

    3:35 how the hell is sweet sweet mountain less safe than Thwomp ruins?

  • @izzyme989
    @izzyme989 Рік тому +1

    This video was truly amazing. I laughed, I cried, and, surprisingly, I felt safe. I am ready to go on only the safest tracks going a safe, manageable speed.

  • @alexcat7034
    @alexcat7034 Рік тому +3

    j0rts upload :)

  • @coralinefoster7831
    @coralinefoster7831 9 місяців тому +1

    i was gonna leave a comment about how a lot of these rankings don’t make sense in comparison to eachother but then i realized it’s literally a mario kart video and it’s almost 1am

  • @TheBreadPirate
    @TheBreadPirate Рік тому +3

    SMH... Road workers have no respect for safety these days.

  • @aquawrld
    @aquawrld Рік тому +1

    I’ve never thought about how unsafe Mario kart tracks are, I’ll remember this next time I get on Mario kart!

  • @Pumpernikkle
    @Pumpernikkle Рік тому +4

    j0rts I need to complete my driver’s ed to get my permit for high school, could you be my driving instructor pls

  • @KingLaZrButBad
    @KingLaZrButBad Рік тому +1

    for alot of the long falls, you should probably account for the safety of the race itself, since every time you fall a lakitu catches you right before you could get hurt and takes you back on the track safely

  • @CasuallyShadow
    @CasuallyShadow Рік тому +3

    Some of these feel like IGN review, you're like "Wow, sounds absolutely horrible" and then he gives them better scores than the ones you were kinda okay with, great video though!

  • @xoxo5296
    @xoxo5296 7 місяців тому +1

    Maybe "baby park" refers to the one track as just a diversion for the wee ones while the adults and teens take on more thrilling rides.

  • @MichaelGaming-bu4cl
    @MichaelGaming-bu4cl Рік тому +4

    🦆

  • @BlueBoiYT
    @BlueBoiYT 9 місяців тому +1

    That “yellow” liquid is honey my friend

  • @DesignFrameCaseStudies
    @DesignFrameCaseStudies Рік тому

    If Nintendo doesn't take these safety concerns seriously in the next packs, I'll be taking them to court.... I like your tone of voice here and Water Park had me rolling with fish pigs lol. I know this requires more work but maybe consider establishing a ranking system that you can deduct points off of in its categories. Great work inspector!

  • @inesnobre2703
    @inesnobre2703 11 місяців тому +1

    9:34 YOU MANIAC! YOU KILLED ME BOI!

  • @systemverilog4727
    @systemverilog4727 Місяць тому +1

    According to that subway map, rainbow road is located somewhere between Baby Park and cheese land.
    Needless to say, after reading that map, _I have some questions_ about the layout of this subway system.

  • @Monkeymario.
    @Monkeymario. 4 місяці тому +2

    10:21 lack of oxygen

  • @bob171
    @bob171 Рік тому +2

    SNES Mario Circuit 3 would probably get a 10/10. There is pretty much no danger besides the 1 optional speed boost near the end of the track

  • @Cjweavss
    @Cjweavss 11 місяців тому +1

    I like how I got an ad for car protection on this video

  • @juliagiles1547
    @juliagiles1547 Рік тому +1

    j0rts: I’m not sure what chocolate is doing on ~bubblegum~ here
    me, with a rage i didn’t know I had: *ITS TAFFY*

    • @MisterNohbdy
      @MisterNohbdy Рік тому +1

      see, it's nice when videos like this can teach us new things about ourselves

  • @kingboo4518
    @kingboo4518 Рік тому +2

    This is what the moo cow community post was about. Neat. Didn't expect that.

  • @AceJackWagon885
    @AceJackWagon885 Рік тому +2

    I thought this was gonna be a ranking video based on how dangerous the tracks are in MARIOKART, not REAL LIFE.

  • @mathybrain8
    @mathybrain8 Рік тому +1

    According to the giant soda bottles in the 'sea,' the yellow-orange liquid on Sweet Sweet Canyon is Princess Orange brand orange soda.

  • @XenyxYT
    @XenyxYT Рік тому +1

    Now, Wario’s name is Wario Danger Wario, which is his canonical last name

  • @wombatpandaa9774
    @wombatpandaa9774 Рік тому

    I'm glad you decided to talk about this because I literally never knew this existed until doing a government internship last summer.