That's a really good video Damien. I think this is the piece that a lot of pickup artists and dating coaches miss; that introverts and extroverts play the game differently.
Cheers bud, and yeah I completely agree wiht you! My criticism of dating coaches has long been that they trying to convince guys to pick up women "just like they do themselves" - essentially copying the coach's styles and mannerisms, which is a terrible strategy since we are all quite different, and have different tastes in women.
Introverts are so much more attractive and deeper thinking. I just as much have to keep up with what other introverts enjoy. I do need to try some cold approah. Some times I love the challenge of a guy so introverted that I feel I want him so badly and having to wait to finally meet him.
You say if I'm introverted I should go for introverted women. But I've heard and sometimes indeed feel that the flame is larger when partners are mixed and therby complement each other.
Yes I've seen this work as well - mind you the data suggests the gap can't be too large either - the data is also a little unsure if it's more about social confidence than extroverts dating introverts. I'm socially confident, but I'm an introvert for example, I've NEVER been in a relationship with an extrovert... But as far as approaching in bars and clubs, it's MUCH easier if you approach women closer to you on the introversion spectrum than far away is the general message - not that it can't ever work romantically.
About the point of "introverts do better with introverted women" - this is an idea that I call "a neighbor from above paradox". Let's imagine for a second in the apartment above mine lives a "perfect girl" for me. She is cute, introverted, smart, she is into science fiction, tech, video games and Dungeons&Dragons, and under the coat of shyness she has a deep sexuality. She would be an ideal partner for me, and I would be ideal for her... ... but despite the fact that she is separated from me with just 5-10 meters, she will never be my girlfriend, and she will never get me as a boyfriend. Why? Because we are both introverted. Because we both rarely leave our houses, and therefore, we will not meet in real life to get to know each other. And why do we both rarely leave our houses? Because there are not a lot of interesting things to do outside, in the region where I live. Sometimes I may go out into a coffee shop to read a book and relax, and sometimes she may go out to a public lecture about evolution of stars, but it takes a lot of effort do do it, because we live in a place with terrible logistics. And because the chance of us meeting is low - in any public place there are more extroverts than introverts - the chance of two introverts encountering each other is lower, and that's why we both don't go out as much. It's a paradox because it is closely related to a prisoner's dilemma - if both me and her started to go out, the chance of us meeting would be higher, and therefore, it would be worth it to go out more. But if only one of us goes out more, it becomes a waste of effort - like in a classic prisoner's dilemma. And we cannot coordinate our efforts to go out more because we don't know of each other =-) So far, the only solution to this paradox that I found for myself is to move into a place with better logistics, but sadly, I'm working on moving into Moscow for already three years, and I get literally no progress because the Russian economy is crashing, and my wages (accounted for inflation) became seriously lower.
So this is well written... Somethign that I tihnk needs attention here though is the difference between confidence and introversion - they sometimes correlate but they don't causate... If one of you builds self confidence, you have a far better chance of meeting each other... It's also my experience that the vast majority of isolated introverts (like the example above) have less social life than they emotionally need - but becuas ethey are introverts, they can make it work and be happy enough... But introvert or not, you have to have a certain base level of social interaction and connection to maximise happiness. In the past, the church largely served this function... or religion in general... even introverts went to church once a week and were socialised this way. Okay so church doesn't much exist for people anymore, but we still need community somewhere. I'd argue in the man and woman in the example above, they BOTH need more community in their lives even if they ultimately still spend most fo their time alone. In this way they'd meed each other, or someone else.
Haha I have a habit of taking on new hobbies until I'm 'okay' at them, then finding something else to jump into - I love learning new things, so I end up with a weird list of hobbies.
do you think age would matter when looking for one night stands as a man? Im over weight and 31 that.looks around 24. I actually did look like a model around 16 TO 18 or so... and i know that due to the type of compilments i got...but got compulsive with my video games and wasted a lot of my twenties.. and became quite overweight... i plan to lose this weight and hopefully make up for it until im around 40 or so.... is there still hope? I have no kids or responsibilities and live rent free so have lots of time
@SchoolOfAttraction thank you for replying. You have given me a bit more optimism because missing out is a bad feeling. I'm gonna try to make the most of my thirties. I love your channel I will subscribe :]
That's a really good video Damien. I think this is the piece that a lot of pickup artists and dating coaches miss; that introverts and extroverts play the game differently.
Cheers bud, and yeah I completely agree wiht you! My criticism of dating coaches has long been that they trying to convince guys to pick up women "just like they do themselves" - essentially copying the coach's styles and mannerisms, which is a terrible strategy since we are all quite different, and have different tastes in women.
I can relate to the beginning. The rest I can’t because I don’t go at all😂😂😂 I gotta fix this.
OMG you fly fpv quads too??? Definitely my favorite dating coach now for sure 😁
Haha yeah man - I'm an addict! I have 5 of the damn things
This video is so motivating! 👍
Thank you!!
Introverts are so much more attractive and deeper thinking. I just as much have to keep up with what other introverts enjoy. I do need to try some cold approah. Some times I love the challenge of a guy so introverted that I feel I want him so badly and having to wait to finally meet him.
You say if I'm introverted I should go for introverted women. But I've heard and sometimes indeed feel that the flame is larger when partners are mixed and therby complement each other.
Yes I've seen this work as well - mind you the data suggests the gap can't be too large either - the data is also a little unsure if it's more about social confidence than extroverts dating introverts. I'm socially confident, but I'm an introvert for example, I've NEVER been in a relationship with an extrovert...
But as far as approaching in bars and clubs, it's MUCH easier if you approach women closer to you on the introversion spectrum than far away is the general message - not that it can't ever work romantically.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Thanks for answering! Last time you replied to my comm, the next day I found my gf (we're not dating anymore but it was nice) :p
About the point of "introverts do better with introverted women" - this is an idea that I call "a neighbor from above paradox".
Let's imagine for a second in the apartment above mine lives a "perfect girl" for me. She is cute, introverted, smart, she is into science fiction, tech, video games and Dungeons&Dragons, and under the coat of shyness she has a deep sexuality. She would be an ideal partner for me, and I would be ideal for her...
... but despite the fact that she is separated from me with just 5-10 meters, she will never be my girlfriend, and she will never get me as a boyfriend.
Why? Because we are both introverted. Because we both rarely leave our houses, and therefore, we will not meet in real life to get to know each other.
And why do we both rarely leave our houses? Because there are not a lot of interesting things to do outside, in the region where I live. Sometimes I may go out into a coffee shop to read a book and relax, and sometimes she may go out to a public lecture about evolution of stars, but it takes a lot of effort do do it, because we live in a place with terrible logistics. And because the chance of us meeting is low - in any public place there are more extroverts than introverts - the chance of two introverts encountering each other is lower, and that's why we both don't go out as much.
It's a paradox because it is closely related to a prisoner's dilemma - if both me and her started to go out, the chance of us meeting would be higher, and therefore, it would be worth it to go out more. But if only one of us goes out more, it becomes a waste of effort - like in a classic prisoner's dilemma. And we cannot coordinate our efforts to go out more because we don't know of each other =-)
So far, the only solution to this paradox that I found for myself is to move into a place with better logistics, but sadly, I'm working on moving into Moscow for already three years, and I get literally no progress because the Russian economy is crashing, and my wages (accounted for inflation) became seriously lower.
So this is well written... Somethign that I tihnk needs attention here though is the difference between confidence and introversion - they sometimes correlate but they don't causate... If one of you builds self confidence, you have a far better chance of meeting each other...
It's also my experience that the vast majority of isolated introverts (like the example above) have less social life than they emotionally need - but becuas ethey are introverts, they can make it work and be happy enough... But introvert or not, you have to have a certain base level of social interaction and connection to maximise happiness.
In the past, the church largely served this function... or religion in general... even introverts went to church once a week and were socialised this way. Okay so church doesn't much exist for people anymore, but we still need community somewhere.
I'd argue in the man and woman in the example above, they BOTH need more community in their lives even if they ultimately still spend most fo their time alone. In this way they'd meed each other, or someone else.
0:16 you have the most eclectic set of hobbies I've ever seen
Haha I have a habit of taking on new hobbies until I'm 'okay' at them, then finding something else to jump into - I love learning new things, so I end up with a weird list of hobbies.
do you think age would matter when looking for one night stands as a man? Im over weight and 31 that.looks around 24. I actually did look like a model around 16 TO 18 or so... and i know that due to the type of compilments i got...but got compulsive with my video games and wasted a lot of my twenties.. and became quite overweight... i plan to lose this weight and hopefully make up for it until im around 40 or so.... is there still hope? I have no kids or responsibilities and live rent free so have lots of time
You have a chance as age doesn't matter. All the best with it.
@annaradford6752 Thank you Anna, gotta live life to the full
Age can play a role, but not nearly as much as most other things... get into better shape is an easier win, if you have a good sense of humour great!
@SchoolOfAttraction thank you for replying. You have given me a bit more optimism because missing out is a bad feeling. I'm gonna try to make the most of my thirties. I love your channel I will subscribe :]
@SchoolOfAttraction a girl wouldn't be put off by an older age even if you are very good looking would they?