Just got my avoidant break up with me because depsite my tangible best efforts of being there for here as a secure stable base I received the most undeserved vitriol in my life and I am a kind person but this is really hard to keep myself together without taking it personally. And the worst part I have to move out 7.5 thousand miles after all I did. Is God punishing me for using Marx for larp and satire on youtube? :D The understanding of theory helps but survival instinct is like a wild dragon now and I am riding it.
Hey Craig, Can you do a video on dumpers mirroring their dumpee on social media? Literally every time I post my ex posts a similar thing (usually with a one upping vibe). Ie) I’ll post a pick about going for a hike, they’ll post about going for a run. I post about going to a restaurant (say a steakhouse) they’ll post about them cooking a steak. It’s weird / frustrating
Post breakup motivation is so real! I remember I used to go on walks for hours every single day for weeks after the breakup because I felt so motivated to get outside and help process my emotions :)
How to thrive? Watch these videos, take the lessons, and realize that the lessons are for you and not for your ex. Then put in the work and grow in every way you've ever wanted to grow but have been putting off. Almost 9 months after the break up and I'm loving who I'm becoming, man. Took awhile to get here but it's here now and it rules.
I am actually surprised that on some days I feel like I’m thriving, don’t get me wrong I’m still grieving. I really look forward to the person that I will become after all the work is done. I’m doing the workbooks and plan on doing the creative course afterwards.
Hey Craig, Your videos have helped me tremendously. In the 6+ months post break up, I have lost 85lbs; quit smoking, started focusing on me. Aside from a couple NC slip ups, I’m doing much better. Been dating new people and seeing my worth. Healing isn’t linear and some days are tougher than others, but I’m moving on day by day. The one thing I’ve noticed aside from my ex watching all my social media activities, is one weird thing. Mirroring. It seems every time I post something, she posts something (sometimes in a one upping manner). If I don’t post, she seems to not post, but if I do, she does shortly after. Strange. Overall, just wanted to thank you guys for all your videos. Helping bring me back to me.
Okay, if you read this: how the hell did you go through nicotine withdrawals while also going through breakup pain? The thought of that makes me feel sick to my stomach 😂
@@dannycolwell8028 honestly. When the bu happened it was the worst few weeks of my life. Between that, I was facing renoviction, my car sustained over a thousand in damage (the day post bu) and 3 weeks later my mom had a stroke. Everything was collapsing around me so I focused on what I could literally have control of. Everything else I couldn’t, so focused on what I could. I switched to vaping for 2 weeks while listening to Allen carr audiobook, then switched to patch for a week. The done. I totally get how it’s daunting. But the power of post breakup rage can bring results. You got this man!
I was doing the same thing. Everyday I try to work on myself and after work sometimes I just fall down. Craigs videos help, try not to lose hope I promise you not alone. It's like I just went numb.
Same situation, the silverlining is that I've been thru one worst.. just expect it to get worse before it gets better.. cry and cry as much as you need to.. stay busy, stay busy!! Hit the gym, study more. The anxiety at night is agonizing at times... as I fall asleep listening to coach Craig and coach Margaret, all I can repeat to put me to sleep is " let it be"...
It will get better I promise you'll get better. Went to break up with a woman I've been seeing for 13 years. I feel so good now but I still love my toilet
I am an AP and my DA ex ended our relationship out of the blue five weeks ago. Since the breakup I have learned about attachment styles which is something I had no idea about and am doing so much work on myself to become more secure. I am at a place where I genuinely couldn't care if he contacted me again and if he did he would have to be the one begging for me back not the other way around. To anyone heartbroken I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and the most important part is knowing your worth and never settling for less xxx
Victoria is spot on. Salsa or Bachata lessons. Group lessons. You rotate through numerous opposite sex dance partners with no rejection and basic physical touch. Exactly what you need right after a breakup! Did miracles for me.
I have thrived so much after my break up 6 months ago. I have started dating an amazing guy and we have been together for 2 months. And me and my friend have starting taking a dance class after her break up.
I’ve never heard of post traumatic growth. Super interesting. So true about binge watching the videos too. It’s a real comfort and support. I appreciate your continued contribution. I’m learning a lot. And the space has allowed me to calm the anxiety and see what was not working and recognise my worth, needs and own attachment style and conflicts. Also, love the cheeky humour you guys have. 🙏💜
About 30 minutes of exercise can get a happy hormone reaction rather than relying on reconnecting with the ex for those happy hormones to come back. Morning and evening walks are a great start.
I have watched your videos for years. Broke up with my abusive husband this week. I am looking forward to working on myself. I have NO desire to find a new person. I want to see how I got to the place where I married a man that I knew wasn’t right.
I was very depressed because of my break up. Ibought a motorcycle and learned to ride it. I lost almost 20 pounds and look better than ever. I am able to run like I never imagined I could and opened a business that went really well. Now I ride motorcycles, look great, run 6 miles 7 days a week, have an amazing business and Im very depressed because of my break up 😉. Yup, you can better yourself but still feel like shit...
Exactly. My life was quite good before the breakup. I have a very good job, I can afford my hobbies, traveling, sports. Now I don't have anybody to enjoy all this kind of thing I fought for. Doing more sports or getting a better job won't help at all.
@@brokenup4585 Exactly, you can better yourself and then what? You could still feel very lonely and in a very dark place. Bettering yourself is not always the antidote for your breaku up. You and I are examples of this.
Post breakup growth I did was take a First Aid Course. Depending on your local provider, you get to learn some amazing skills and awareness of situations you might come across. In my course, they taught you some basics about staying calm, assessing/triaging a situation , communicating with bystanders, and you get to say 'I'm a First Aider, I'm here to help' if you are first on the scene. If you are lost on what to do after BU, I highly recommend doing a FA course for your own personal growth and mental fortitude :) and its nice knowing you can help someone one day
6:13 Absolutely Craig, I am attached to it and I have not looked back. It’s given me more joy than what my ex ever provided. To come home to it everyday is truly a blessing. The love I have for it flows out of me daily and consistently, sometimes more on some days, and it receives me gracefully, our dynamic works well and is truly the recipe for a great relationship.
Lol Frof is disc golf...fun. I broke no contact 2 months after last text, bc I thought I thought I saw her and I used an indirect approach. I've done a lot of progress with my life and she was doing well and it seemed that things calmed down. She's definitely an avoidant and there's things I couldn't do, nor could do to make things better. That's something each of us need to work on our own. I'm in acceptance and the gains I've made are truly life changing! Because I see the value and benefit I'll stick with it. If she wants to meet up and isn't set on friendship (sounds bad but I handled the conversation well and I didn't spill my guts) she can reach out to me if and when she's ready. But I'm definitely going to continue to move on with my life. Everything happens for a reason, the good ones are a blessing and the bad ones are a lesson.
Talk about timely video… it’s been a couple of months now and while I have been pushing through some tough days, I don’t give up during the process… I keep in the back of my mind, how diamonds were formed.. through pressure, heat and time. Just take it a day at a time🙏🏼
Always a good day when a new vid comes out 😀 Would you be able to do a video on different scenarios of people getting back together? Like mini interviews of how couples reunited and a brief background on what happened? Interests me so much!
They are also learning and developing relationship skills through the material and the case studies they help...a much smoother move than telling your girlfriend to read these 7 books
I’ve been divorced for years, but never moved on. We stayed friendly over the years even though she remarried the guy she cheated with me. That didn’t last either, but they had kids. I moved back to town after 4 years right when Covid hit. We didn’t see each other until March of this year. We spent most days together and 5 nights in the same bed, from March-June, but no intimacy. I was hoping we could rekindle but she didn’t want that, she just wanted to be friends. I told her I wasn’t interested in being just friends, she said through text, that’s all she had to offer and bye”. Haven’t heard from her since 7/27. I’ve always struggled to move on. She’s still very attractive, blonde with green eyes Barbie doll so always has a lot of male orbiters. I’m just not sure how to finally let her go. I don’t even know how to date or meet anyone. I’d rather just be alone, it’s easier…
After 6 months of break up still struggling really bad, because she is with someone else now. I’m daying inside, even though i cant take her back if she came back because she cheated on me. I still love her so much ugh i wish i had a reset button
Yeah, but the point is to try new things to see if you can enjoy and care about them. Not everything you try will fit with you but some will. It's also very rewarding to just pick something and get good at it over 6 months, a year, whatever. Seeing yourself able to start with zero skill and get to basically mastering it in a year, even though you don't necessarily care for it, will give you so much confidence - you can do anything! Then imagine what you can do if you care for it....
My therapist thinks I am crazy to try and get my ex back. She stated to block her completely and recognize it’s totally over because we started divorce proceedings and she is dating someone else right at the beginning of the breakup…
Hey craig! Quick question. I understand no contact and I have been in no contact, she did an indirect direct approach about a week ago but that same day she unfollowed me off of ALL SOCIAL MEDIA! Even Linkedin! She has an avoidant attachment style. I never reach out. Never begged, we broke up July 21st the day after my birthday. BUT we have a lease together. She lives there, I live at home with my parents now. I feel like she still thinks she has me and can get me back because my name is still on the lease. I have been thinking of taking my name off to show her I have self respect and I am simply just giving her what she wants. Should I go through with it ? I know it will annoy her cause she will have to pay a pet deposit and pet fee and reapply for the apartment again because our dog is a service dog to me but she is keeping the dog. so really she is just benefiting off it and i dont think its fair if she wanted to break up. It will show her i am moving on and I think would open her eyes. Should I do it? In a nice way though not mean obviously lol. THANK YOU!
Absolutely! If you aren't living there why stay on the lease? And if it is your dog, I think it would be smart to take it back, unless you want it to be her dog now. Are you guys actually split up? Letting her keep your dog and the name on her lease suggests that maybe you haven't actually split up yet...
OMG this video is for me! I cut my ex off after she checked up on me and pushed me away again, and I LOVE dancing, I found a community the same week I came back to town
Hi, I have a lot of separation experience and I do not call after another separation, and after the other party returns to me, why do I not feel anything anymore? What I do is very strange. Really, why do I choose traitorous men?
Sounds like you can move on and detach easily, which could be a good thing. You are probably just moving on and never looking back, which can help you to move on. The only concern might be that perhaps you don't really bond fully or you avoid the attachment once it is threatened... maybe you could benefit from being present with your emotions and attachments after a break up (and hopefully before! 😅) so you can really feel the pain - if you don't feel you lost anything then why be in the relationship in the first place? Perhaps you have an avoidant attachment style Anyway, I don't know enough about you but those are my thoughts based on what you said, and maybe they are somewhat helpful to you
Do The Knowledge 30 minutes a day! The work always pays off! 💪
The workbook is crucial!
Is it possible to send this work book into federal prison?
Just got my avoidant break up with me because depsite my tangible best efforts of being there for here as a secure stable base I received the most undeserved vitriol in my life and I am a kind person but this is really hard to keep myself together without taking it personally. And the worst part I have to move out 7.5 thousand miles after all I did. Is God punishing me for using Marx for larp and satire on youtube? :D The understanding of theory helps but survival instinct is like a wild dragon now and I am riding it.
Hey Craig,
Can you do a video on dumpers mirroring their dumpee on social media? Literally every time I post my ex posts a similar thing (usually with a one upping vibe). Ie) I’ll post a pick about going for a hike, they’ll post about going for a run. I post about going to a restaurant (say a steakhouse) they’ll post about them cooking a steak. It’s weird / frustrating
@@stu713 Sorry to hear about that. It does sound annoying and petty (the mirroring thing).
Post breakup motivation is so real! I remember I used to go on walks for hours every single day for weeks after the breakup because I felt so motivated to get outside and help process my emotions :)
Yeah my first bad breakup had me taking long walks every morning.
How to thrive? Watch these videos, take the lessons, and realize that the lessons are for you and not for your ex. Then put in the work and grow in every way you've ever wanted to grow but have been putting off. Almost 9 months after the break up and I'm loving who I'm becoming, man. Took awhile to get here but it's here now and it rules.
I am actually surprised that on some days I feel like I’m thriving, don’t get me wrong I’m still grieving. I really look forward to the person that I will become after all the work is done. I’m doing the workbooks and plan on doing the creative course afterwards.
Agreed
Growth is a continual process ❤️🙏
Hey Craig,
Your videos have helped me tremendously. In the 6+ months post break up, I have lost 85lbs; quit smoking, started focusing on me. Aside from a couple NC slip ups, I’m doing much better. Been dating new people and seeing my worth. Healing isn’t linear and some days are tougher than others, but I’m moving on day by day. The one thing I’ve noticed aside from my ex watching all my social media activities, is one weird thing. Mirroring. It seems every time I post something, she posts something (sometimes in a one upping manner). If I don’t post, she seems to not post, but if I do, she does shortly after. Strange. Overall, just wanted to thank you guys for all your videos. Helping bring me back to me.
Okay, if you read this: how the hell did you go through nicotine withdrawals while also going through breakup pain? The thought of that makes me feel sick to my stomach 😂
@@dannycolwell8028 honestly. When the bu happened it was the worst few weeks of my life. Between that, I was facing renoviction, my car sustained over a thousand in damage (the day post bu) and 3 weeks later my mom had a stroke. Everything was collapsing around me so I focused on what I could literally have control of. Everything else I couldn’t, so focused on what I could. I switched to vaping for 2 weeks while listening to Allen carr audiobook, then switched to patch for a week. The done. I totally get how it’s daunting. But the power of post breakup rage can bring results. You got this man!
Update?
As I lay here crying…. Devastated by this break up… good timing as always
I was doing the same thing. Everyday I try to work on myself and after work sometimes I just fall down. Craigs videos help, try not to lose hope I promise you not alone. It's like I just went numb.
Maybe we can hang out sometime. Forget that messed up guy.
Same situation, the silverlining is that I've been thru one worst.. just expect it to get worse before it gets better.. cry and cry as much as you need to.. stay busy, stay busy!! Hit the gym, study more. The anxiety at night is agonizing at times... as I fall asleep listening to coach Craig and coach Margaret, all I can repeat to put me to sleep is " let it be"...
It will get better I promise you'll get better. Went to break up with a woman I've been seeing for 13 years. I feel so good now but I still love my toilet
Sameeee, crying all the time. Im so tired
I am an AP and my DA ex ended our relationship out of the blue five weeks ago. Since the breakup I have learned about attachment styles which is something I had no idea about and am doing so much work on myself to become more secure. I am at a place where I genuinely couldn't care if he contacted me again and if he did he would have to be the one begging for me back not the other way around. To anyone heartbroken I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and the most important part is knowing your worth and never settling for less xxx
Victoria is spot on. Salsa or Bachata lessons. Group lessons. You rotate through numerous opposite sex dance partners with no rejection and basic physical touch. Exactly what you need right after a breakup! Did miracles for me.
I have thrived so much after my break up 6 months ago. I have started dating an amazing guy and we have been together for 2 months. And me and my friend have starting taking a dance class after her break up.
I’m still in denial
I’ve never heard of post traumatic growth. Super interesting. So true about binge watching the videos too. It’s a real comfort and support. I appreciate your continued contribution. I’m learning a lot. And the space has allowed me to calm the anxiety and see what was not working and recognise my worth, needs and own attachment style and conflicts.
Also, love the cheeky humour you guys have. 🙏💜
About 30 minutes of exercise can get a happy hormone reaction rather than relying on reconnecting with the ex for those happy hormones to come back. Morning and evening walks are a great start.
±²³⁴⁸⁰⁷³³¹⁷⁴⁶⁰
±²³⁴⁸⁰⁷³³¹⁷⁴⁶⁰
I have watched your videos for years. Broke up with my abusive husband this week. I am looking forward to working on myself. I have NO desire to find a new person. I want to see how I got to the place where I married a man that I knew wasn’t right.
I was very depressed because of my break up. Ibought a motorcycle and learned to ride it. I lost almost 20 pounds and look better than ever. I am able to run like I never imagined I could and opened a business that went really well. Now I ride motorcycles, look great, run 6 miles 7 days a week, have an amazing business and Im very depressed because of my break up 😉. Yup, you can better yourself but still feel like shit...
Exactly. My life was quite good before the breakup. I have a very good job, I can afford my hobbies, traveling, sports. Now I don't have anybody to enjoy all this kind of thing I fought for. Doing more sports or getting a better job won't help at all.
@@brokenup4585 Exactly, you can better yourself and then what? You could still feel very lonely and in a very dark place. Bettering yourself is not always the antidote for your breaku up. You and I are examples of this.
Post breakup growth I did was take a First Aid Course. Depending on your local provider, you get to learn some amazing skills and awareness of situations you might come across. In my course, they taught you some basics about staying calm, assessing/triaging a situation , communicating with bystanders, and you get to say 'I'm a First Aider, I'm here to help' if you are first on the scene. If you are lost on what to do after BU, I highly recommend doing a FA course for your own personal growth and mental fortitude :) and its nice knowing you can help someone one day
6:13 Absolutely Craig, I am attached to it and I have not looked back. It’s given me more joy than what my ex ever provided. To come home to it everyday is truly a blessing. The love I have for it flows out of me daily and consistently, sometimes more on some days, and it receives me gracefully, our dynamic works well and is truly the recipe for a great relationship.
Starting section 8 of the creative healing course today, been working on it for almost 5 months now. Great stuff in there
🙌💪❤️
Lol Frof is disc golf...fun. I broke no contact 2 months after last text, bc I thought I thought I saw her and I used an indirect approach. I've done a lot of progress with my life and she was doing well and it seemed that things calmed down. She's definitely an avoidant and there's things I couldn't do, nor could do to make things better. That's something each of us need to work on our own. I'm in acceptance and the gains I've made are truly life changing! Because I see the value and benefit I'll stick with it. If she wants to meet up and isn't set on friendship (sounds bad but I handled the conversation well and I didn't spill my guts) she can reach out to me if and when she's ready. But I'm definitely going to continue to move on with my life. Everything happens for a reason, the good ones are a blessing and the bad ones are a lesson.
Talk about timely video… it’s been a couple of months now and while I have been pushing through some tough days, I don’t give up during the process… I keep in the back of my mind, how diamonds were formed.. through pressure, heat and time. Just take it a day at a time🙏🏼
Always a good day when a new vid comes out 😀 Would you be able to do a video on different scenarios of people getting back together? Like mini interviews of how couples reunited and a brief background on what happened? Interests me so much!
that would be a great video also you are really beautiful Olivia!
Thank you 🙂
@@BabeeBlue0x youre welcome love! hope youre having a good day
Oh and my new hobby is boxing. IT IS AMAZING ---- really put all that energy into the punch bag. I picture my ex's face. LOL
Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up
+12048082234⏭️
🤣
Omg that’s what I want to get into 😂😂 going for my first kickboxing session this week
@@adrij4961 It truly is life changing. Who needs therapy lol
My man is telling us useful information and shooting his shot with that lady. I see you brother
They are also learning and developing relationship skills through the material and the case studies they help...a much smoother move than telling your girlfriend to read these 7 books
I really need this, Craig.....feels I'm in a rut.....thank you!!!
I’ve been divorced for years, but never moved on. We stayed friendly over the years even though she remarried the guy she cheated with me. That didn’t last either, but they had kids. I moved back to town after 4 years right when Covid hit. We didn’t see each other until March of this year. We spent most days together and 5 nights in the same bed, from March-June, but no intimacy.
I was hoping we could rekindle but she didn’t want that, she just wanted to be friends. I told her I wasn’t interested in being just friends, she said through text, that’s all she had to offer and bye”.
Haven’t heard from her since 7/27. I’ve always struggled to move on. She’s still very attractive, blonde with green eyes Barbie doll so always has a lot of male orbiters.
I’m just not sure how to finally let her go. I don’t even know how to date or meet anyone. I’d rather just be alone, it’s easier…
After 6 months of break up still struggling really bad, because she is with someone else now. I’m daying inside, even though i cant take her back if she came back because she cheated on me. I still love her so much ugh i wish i had a reset button
Hello I can connect you to someone who helped you get my ex back within 48hours he'll help you too.
+13047147651⏭🇺🇲🇺🇲
+13047147651⏭🇺🇲🇺🇲
I find Extremely sad going to activities you don't care just to meet new people. Kind of a desperation club. My social phobia does not help.
Yeah, but the point is to try new things to see if you can enjoy and care about them. Not everything you try will fit with you but some will. It's also very rewarding to just pick something and get good at it over 6 months, a year, whatever. Seeing yourself able to start with zero skill and get to basically mastering it in a year, even though you don't necessarily care for it, will give you so much confidence - you can do anything! Then imagine what you can do if you care for it....
Loving coach Victoria more and more :)
OMG it really work for me he came back to me 🌹🌹I'm so glad it worked out who need any help
+13047147651⏭⏭💕💕
My therapist thinks I am crazy to try and get my ex back. She stated to block her completely and recognize it’s totally over because we started divorce proceedings and she is dating someone else right at the beginning of the breakup…
Talk about it.Talk Therapy works!
Yes I did have a relationship with the toilet 🚽 for awhile after the break up down 30 pounds and going to gym everyday
Hey craig! Quick question. I understand no contact and I have been in no contact, she did an indirect direct approach about a week ago but that same day she unfollowed me off of ALL SOCIAL MEDIA! Even Linkedin! She has an avoidant attachment style. I never reach out. Never begged, we broke up July 21st the day after my birthday. BUT we have a lease together. She lives there, I live at home with my parents now. I feel like she still thinks she has me and can get me back because my name is still on the lease. I have been thinking of taking my name off to show her I have self respect and I am simply just giving her what she wants. Should I go through with it ? I know it will annoy her cause she will have to pay a pet deposit and pet fee and reapply for the apartment again because our dog is a service dog to me but she is keeping the dog. so really she is just benefiting off it and i dont think its fair if she wanted to break up. It will show her i am moving on and I think would open her eyes. Should I do it? In a nice way though not mean obviously lol. THANK YOU!
Hello it's works I can't believe an with my love again contact him
⏯⏯✝13047147651⏭⏭💕💕
Yes! I hope you did it!
Absolutely!
If you aren't living there why stay on the lease?
And if it is your dog, I think it would be smart to take it back, unless you want it to be her dog now.
Are you guys actually split up? Letting her keep your dog and the name on her lease suggests that maybe you haven't actually split up yet...
OMG this video is for me! I cut my ex off after she checked up on me and pushed me away again, and I LOVE dancing, I found a community the same week I came back to town
At last! Coach Victoria had evolved from Picacoach to a Vicachu and changed her sign-off!
Hello I can connect you to someone who helped you get my ex back within 48hours he'll help you too.
+13047147651⏭🇺🇲🇺🇲
+13047147651⏭🇺🇲🇺🇲
+13047147651⏭🇺🇲🇺🇲
😅 Love the FROLF and LARP talk
Can I just say you both look very smart, nice 🙂.
Thanks 😊
They sound smart too
Hi, I have a lot of separation experience and I do not call after another separation, and after the other party returns to me, why do I not feel anything anymore? What I do is very strange. Really, why do I choose traitorous men?
Hello I can connect you to someone who helped you get my ex back within 48hours he'll help you too.
+13047147651⏭🇺🇲🇺🇲
+13047147651⏭🇺🇲🇺🇲
Sounds like you can move on and detach easily, which could be a good thing. You are probably just moving on and never looking back, which can help you to move on.
The only concern might be that perhaps you don't really bond fully or you avoid the attachment once it is threatened... maybe you could benefit from being present with your emotions and attachments after a break up (and hopefully before! 😅) so you can really feel the pain - if you don't feel you lost anything then why be in the relationship in the first place?
Perhaps you have an avoidant attachment style
Anyway, I don't know enough about you but those are my thoughts based on what you said, and maybe they are somewhat helpful to you
What if you don't like who you were before the relationship?
Then become someone new (by adding to changing parts of yourself)
Second breakup this year...I'm settelments doing things wrong..Two guys is to much but hey..I'm trying to b me
Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up
+12048082234⏭️⏭️
I can’t wait for that change!!
Hopefully there will be free workbooks😔
No, but there are over 1000 free videos!
People got to eat but videos are plenty helpful. Trust me.
Hello I can connect you to someone who helped you get my ex back within 48hours he'll help you too.
+13047147651⏭🇺🇲🇺🇲
+13047147651⏭🇺🇲🇺🇲
If my ex said she will contact me 'if' she feels comfortable what are my chances. She's said this after I already pushed and pushed her
Give her time and space it works
Hello I can connect you to someone who helped you get my ex back within 48hours he'll help you too.
+13047147651⏭🇺🇲🇺🇲
+13047147651⏭🇺🇲🇺🇲
@@cynthiachinyere8979 was it Craig or Margaret?
Wue it was tough!
may the frolf be with you! :D
Second!
Like number 36
First!