Why You’re Attracted To Emotionally Unavailable People
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- Опубліковано 9 тра 2024
- Ever wondered why you're drawn to emotionally unavailable people? Here's why you're attracted to unavailable people. It often boils down to your attachment style and how it influences your relationships. Maybe you're subconsciously seeking out familiar patterns from your past, or perhaps you're craving the challenge of winning over someone who seems out of reach. But here's the thing: diving into relationships with emotionally unavailable partners can lead to frustration and heartache. If you find yourself stuck in this cycle, it might be time to reflect on your attachment style and seek relationship advice to break free from the pattern. Watch this video to find out more.
#love #relationship #dating
Writer: Stela Kosic
Script Editor: Kelly Soong
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Brandon
Animator: Sarimopi (IG: sarimopi)
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
Hello!
Hi ^^!
First
Helooooo
Hi
Hi
"They need to want help before you can help them".
0:00 intro
0:28 the Healer
1:13 hurtful history
1:46 the need to hide
2:25 got you trapped
3:13 captivating Independence
3:48 outro
Been admiring someone like this just now
then this video came 💀
They're stalking us
@@HydraticJaz 👀...run
🏃♀️💨💨
You gals make the decisions of a hamster. This is why men tell y'all to be pure and submissive to hard working honest guys
Another reason can be that you yourself are emotionally unavailable, for example because of childhood trauma or not being over an ex yet. So (in order to protect yourself) you end up unconsciously going for people who you won't have to commit to, since they're not emotionally available either.
Thank You.
Yep, am currently in this situation.
this stabbed me in the chest by how accurate it is
You should see a doctor
Join the club 😑🍷
Hello folks
Real bro. She’s like perfect too😔
I stopped to play this game. Choosing to stop following emotionally unavailable individuals is an act of self-respect. We all deserve mutual attention and respect for our time. Investing in relationships where both parties are emotionally present fosters growth and fulfillment
This feels like a sign from the universe
yeah i can totally relate to this
This just came right in time. I just need only one advice. How to let go? Always when im feeling like im over it, the feeling just comes back, and i always hurt myself with negative toughts caused by overthinking.
It’s going to take time. You kinda just have to accept that there’s no single thing you can do to just be rid of the feelings. They’ll fade with time. In the meantime, do your best not to act on the feelings, cuz that will keep them fresh. Do all the things you’re supposed to do in your life, give yourself time to do things you enjoy doing, and allow yourself time and space to heal.
We made a video on signs your relationship is over ua-cam.com/video/S3amZQUZ7Hc/v-deo.html and Signs It's Time To Let Go (of a BFF) ua-cam.com/video/TjERyIxUoKg/v-deo.html. It's never easy to simply let go of someone who you deeply care. If these videos don't help, you're more than welcome try searching it under our channel. We have a lot of videos on around this subject.
Thank you.🫶🏻
I completely relate to this. I broke the number 1 rule and fell in love with a friend who was dating another friend. I've had the misfortune of being homeless after my father figure lost his life to cancer, losing most of the function in my left eye to disease and my military career my grandpa had inspired me to chase since I was a little kid because of it. This girl put me back together mentally and emotionally when I couldn't do it myself, even though I could see the conflict and abuse her own relationship. She has seen me in my highs and lows and was nothing but my rock through it all. I won't go into the messy details but her boyfriend who is also my friend has now found out I have deep feelings for her and won't let me even speak to her anymore unless he or someone else is there with her and is kicking me out. I can't fully bring myself to despise him but I also can't truly forgive him. I have watched him verbally abuse her so much and he has even thrown things at her but she refused to leave him because like me he would have nowhere else to go. Now she is giving him a second chance even tho she had previously stated her unhappiness and disinterest in continuing her relationship with him. Now she is saying if I can't trust him again then she and I can't be friends anymore. I'm already back to sleeping in my car with a job I can no longer keep and an unfinished mobile home I dont have the means to move. I can feel myself sliding back into that dark place I was before, and I can't even speak to the only person in whole world whose shoulder I could cry on and talk to about our insecurities with anymore without being judged and labeled as a cheater and a liar by her included. I don't know what to do but I realize I can't be near the situation or it will just keep getting worse. I don't regret loving her for a second and I want to see her grow and be happy even if it's not with me because I truly believe she deserves it, but I can't stand having these feelings if this the path she's choosing to go down
There's a video about that.
To detach from your crush.
This video deeply speaks to me; it's as if it was made for this moment. I've just made the difficult decision to end my crush. It's been a challenging realization, but it's necessary for my emotional well-being and growth.
Hope this video helps!
You killed your crush 😮 (taking notes)
Omg same… it’s for the better tbh 😕
@@Kira-urva Haha, that's too aggressive. Just move on and treat yourself well. A better man is coming.
@@panarinsriyathep856 Pray the best for you!
I think UA-cam is trying to tell me something because I'm emotionally Ultra-available
Edit:
After some replies, I have realized that the word "Commercially" might insinuate something negative, now Im honestly still not sure what it exactly implies, buuuut do check the comment section if you would like to see explanations.
I ammmm, sorry? I don't know what to tell you guys ;^;
Vice versa for me xd
@@swinina I'd say both have their merits lol
Have a good day (⌒‐⌒)
Same 🥲
So, a parasite that sucks up belongings of someone until you leave?
@@__-tp4tm I'm trying to say that I am quite ready for acts of commitment wether that be for a special someone or a regular friend, and generally just there for peeps, hence, my comment
As a emotionally unavailable person, i know this probably seems cold, but i hope no one is attracted to me. I hate making people sad.
(Im emotionally unavailable because of trauma)
Shoot bruh, I'm sorry you have to deal with worries like that. It's kind of the same with me as well.
@@Kosher_Salt374 Thank you, if you ever want to talk about it I'm here :)
This is exactly me (anxious attachement) with my Avoidant partner...
When you have been in a relationship for 11 years. And you literally share everything in this video
I wasted almost 10. And it’s left me burned to a crisp. But I know I’m at fault for wasting my time on someone who doesn’t want to be right.
The timing of these videos are impeccable.
It indicates they have more value, whether true or not.
I haven't even pressed play yet because I groaned when I saw this come up on my for you page. I know this is going to be a punch in the gut....... I'll come back to let you know how this goes
Timestamps
1). The healer 0:28
2). Hurtful history 1:13
3). The need to hide 1:45
4). Got you trapped 2:25
5). Captivating independence 3:12
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Story of my life
:'(
This hit hard for me bc I dated a guy that is emotionally unavailable, but when we were dating, he wasn't emotionally unavailable. It started after he broke up with me. He lost feelings for me but he still genuinely cares about me and didn't want to hurt me. It's been going from him liking me to after a few weeks of us dating to saying he lost feelings for me. Then it lost feelings for me to he doesn't know. Then to him saying it's alright bc I apologized to him a few days after we had our first ever fight to him completely ignoring me and ghosting me. And now it's going to he's not ready to be friends cuz of stuff he's dealing with rn to he doesn't know if he wants to still be friends with me. And it hurts bc I still love him and I still want him to be in my life whether he's a friend or not. And I'm trying to move on from my feelings towards him but it's hard bc I'm conflicted and confused about whether he wants me in his life or not and other stuff he's done or said. I just rly hope I don't lose him and that he's doing ok rn.
Why not choose someone whos not like that?
@@jinchuriki7022 like I said I'm trying to move on but it's not easy dude
Join the club 😑🍷
I wish you to get over this soon... or just to get over this at your own pace. Many people can relate. You are not alone in this.
im in an extremely similar situation with you, except im the guy. the reason i put more and more distance between me and my girl is because it was too mentally taxing for me to show love, and i realized i cant keep up being who she thinks i am. So to not disappoint her, and to stop wasting her time on a relationship that i cant see coming to fruit,and to stop giving her hope that we can still get back together, i ignore her messages and wish she can just find a better person...
im sure it hurts her that im trying to leave her world, and it hurts me when she still cant get over me. it hurts me even more that i know im hurting her but i just cant do or promise anything. being irresponsible is the last thing i want to do. im sure this situation can unfold in many different ways, but having a serious and genuine conversation on this topic might be beneficial to both sides. (and i should probably take my own advice)
Thank you so much for this video.
Im recently studing psychology your videos are really helpful 😊❤️
I am cuz I've been told that I'm very unsocial and someone developed an obsession with me in which I needed a friend to backup reasons why they love only the idea they have of me and how it won't work out. It's over and I'm glad. I've been called fake for only contacting people for formal work, although they also contact me for answers or math help
The second and third point hit hard 😢
Holy thats-- so accurate
Interesting insights. Good job, I appreciate
love how you called me out on this one
This video tells the truth and it speaks to me
I’m kinda in this situation right now myself. Two months ago I started talking to someone online, and right away I felt we had an incredible connection. Both our calls lasted 4 and 6 hours, and then early march we met in person for the first time. However recently she’s been very quiet and hasnt been responding to me, which isnt exactly unusual cuz i have so many friends who also struggle with checking text messages. But the person I’m talking to told me how she has ADHD and is bipolar (which explains a lot) and hasnt taken meds in a while. Although I often worry about her, I’ve learned that she’s probably just very busy lots of the time and seems to greatly struggle with mental health.
Bruh this UA-cam channel just explains my whole life
Hii Psych2Go
I always like watching your vids
I learn more on Psychology >:3
And i actually relate a lot to these things sooo ye :)
Releasing them today, mentally, spiritually, emotionally etc. I cannot keep giving away free hard worked energy. I’m good😝
As a man who is emotionally unavailable for good reasons, I try to be as honest as I can about it without getting too deep too quick. I’ll go ahead and speak for those like me when I say that you cannot change that about us, the video is right. If you sense this about someone and you’re not totally sincerely on the same page, just let them be, don’t try to be the hero 😂 give your time and energy to someone who will properly reciprocate.
Thanks for your sharing your experience!
If you knew a girl really liked you, would you avoid spending too much time with her (even if you like her too) so that she wouldn’t get attached?
@@1crafter408 yes I would. Honestly my answer lately has just been to avoid dating altogether 😂
To add to that, I’d try to do what I could to refrain from making her like me in the first place.
Ngl I'm kinda relieved you guys didn't just paint emotional unavailable people as monsters like a lot if other people. I'm kinda one of them so to hear that I'm a red flag and a monster who should be avoided all the time sorta made me feel sort of guilty. Atp I just hide the fact that I am from friends and struggle through those venting situations. I know I care about them genuinely but I don't know why my brain is so confusing.
I'm aware that I need help and I really, really, want to change so I'm gonna need to find help somehow until I'm able to get a therapist.
bruh this is so spot on lol
Thanfully this vidoe came in time to help me
me trying to figure out why i like jotaro kujo and shadow the hedgehog
Have you figured out the reasons?
@@Psych2go No i think i just like edgy, powerful vigilantes
your so real for that
Multiple combo hits
I never was one to understand this. To elaborate, a few of my friends have openly stated they love ones who are emotionally unavailable. I was confused by it, but I think watching this helps me understand. I do share a lot of traits touched on in the video, but I got over those, and now looking back and realizing I did fills me with joy/pride.
To get off whatever high horse I feel like I just got on, I hope that I can maybe help those friends, and remind some here who may need it that they can overcome anything 🤍
My partner is emotionally unavailable and is aware of it and constantly warns me of it. They say they love me too but sometimes I don't feel like they do. They say they don't want to hurt me because of the emotional unavailability. But I know that he tries
Amazing how this video just appears talking about a situation I'm in the middle of. And it suck because this one problem is ruining my dream guy 😅
I feel like I should send this to the guy who is clearly interested in me. I don’t feel comfortable with being in a relationship right now because I know I need some time to fight my own inner demons but he doesn’t seem to understand I only want friendship and tries way to hard, especially to “fix me” (med-school student syndrome probably). We share classes so I can’t really… force more distance unfortunately.
You can try to share it ambiguously or generally. For example, post on a social media you're both in. That might help avoid direct contact.
But really, the easiest (but difficult) way is to just say it straight to your friend. It may help him move on faster.
That guy sounds like every dude who are a fan of anime
@veiserexab1428
That's such a negative generalization... Did the anime fans hurt you or anything? 😅
@@freconsbo you can literally see most dudes are like that in every comment section when there's someone they find attractive
@@veiserexab1428
Haha but calling it out specifically as 'every dude' feels harsh. 😅
Not all anime fans are like that.
Aahahahah this video is just what I needed after what just happened like 10 minutes ago 💀
Yup, that's totally me
This is my current case, I suppose. 😅
But I'm already accepting that our relationship will most likely not go to anything romantic. And the person has already considered me 'a fantastic friend'. That's good enough for me. 😌
Liking someone doesn't always mean we must form something more. As long as that person is happy and healthy, I will be happy, too. As selfishly silly as that may seem. 🤷🏻♂️
Emotionally unavailable people suck to date because after a time it feels like they don't want to be with you or put energy into it, even if they say they do. My advice is to have some self-respect and drop these people, no matter how much you love them
Huh. 😭 I lost hope. But also gained hope for myself.
I think I'm in love with a woman that lives on the other side of the country, who I've never seen in person, or spoken to and is also married or attached to someone. It's messed up because I've been married over 20 years and I know it's wrong for me to think of her like that. I remind myself that she's just an Electric Girl but there isn't really anything in my life that shines the way she does. At the end of the day it's just me daydreaming but I find myself wanting to live my dreams more and more...
You’ve told us why out crushes are toxic, so please tell us how to actually get a partner 😭 I’m craving affection so badly rn 😭😭😭😭
relatable
Where’s narrator Amanda 😢😢
A good advice: keep yourself busy, mind your business, no matter what. Alone, insecure, weak people tend to seek for companionship at any cost. This lead you to grow but also to lose yourself. Don't fall in this trap and don't fool yourselves. Relationships have always been situationships. To live better is a choice. And any choice belongs to a plan, even if you are in a relationship. Peace.
I can handle being in love with emotionally unavailable people, it's growing up with emotionally unavailable people from kid to an adult that destroys me in ways I can never fix. Ever.
It's so lonely here and I feel like I'm living in a black void all the time.
That if I somehow sleep and never wake up, I'll be completely fine with that. In fact, I wish for that every single night. Screw being in love, I didn't even have basic love growing up. How the hell am I supposed to love when I never had it to begin with? 😑
thank you so much
I'm emotionally unavailable I guess due to a personality disorder. I've noticed some girls id consider really out of my league are sometimes interested in me at first. Guess this is why
I wish everyone could know it. Im so tired of pushing ppl away, they seems to don't understand when im not interested even if i say i clearly :l
uhh I feel this much more than I wished.
@1:44 I don't think anyone thinks that way, but I would say, most people's traumas are from early childhood from caregivers.
Could we maybe get a video on what you should do if you feel emotionally unavailable? I've turned a few girls down in the past because of shyness or perhaps this. What can we do? What do you do when your nervous system isn't telling you about the importance of connection? Does that mean you're seriously broken?
Great topic suggestion! Will share with the team :)
@@Psych2go Thank you
YES PLEASE-
I had an artist I commissioned artwork for fall in love with me after 2 years just talking with her about random things
Hmmmm to be honest I know some people in real life and also in social media, but yeah I guess it's just to be yourself to attract someone especially to talk or share your own problems. And I just hope i don't do it for attention, i hope i do because it was my real self. Fr
Edit: although I'm an introvert, I'd like to try something than "Ohhhh I'm an introvert, I can't do this or that"
I wouldn’t waste my time with a person like that ! Life is to short! 😅
How is it that I can still watch this when I minimize YT but I can't do that with other videos on YT?
thank god
HI LOVE YALL TO MERCURY AND BACK
Thanks man, I hope you have a great day 😁❤️
Had a thing for a woman for the past few years who is like this and she rejected me. Probably seems for the best. Just sad now, I don’t think she even wants a friendship anymore. Like she can’t accept being friends with a guy who had a thing for her.
I am both the person attracted to these people and I am this person
Anyone has tips on how to help friends that behave like that? On both sides?
Been dating someone like this, even asked them to be my girlfriend. She turned me down because she wasnt ready for a relationship, and has been pushing me away since. Every time she pushes me away, i feel like ending things.
😑🍷 just move on dude we only have until 2025 before Ww3 nuclear wars start and who knows you might find "the one".
I'm sorry for you, and I hope you can make the best decision for yourself 🙏🏻
@@lenninmontiel4539 Just imagine asking a girl to be your girlfriend and she squeals and tears up exclaiming yes and you're so excited, more than you've ever been in your life. Then you see a flash then a few seconds later y'all start burning alive, and your eardrums pop so she can't even hear you're last words "This is just my luck..."
@@lenninmontiel4539it's not so easy to move on bro
@@CyranofromBergerac welp if that ever happens to everyone who finally has the courage to ask "the one" out at the start of Ww3 welp hope they find "they're one" where ever afterlife they believe in. But yeah that will be pretty funny to see 🤭🤭🤭🍷🍷🍷
Would love if Psych2go made a video on how to deal with uncertainty.
Because you are recreating the relationship you had with your emotionally unavailable parent. Only by "winning" their affection can you prove your self worth. or rather, overcome the lack of worth that parent saw in you. That's why guys who are fives chase tens. Only by overcoming a big obstacle can they "fix" themselves. You can't prove your self-worth by climbing a rock. You have to climb your own personal Mt. Everest.
大佬，你用什么软件制作的，一个短片要制作多久
Im emotionally unavailable actually i dont have emotions other than anger & hatred bruh so how come i never meet someone who has a crush on me then?
I do seem interested in these people. I think I just miss some of the signs that they're completely unavailable rather than the capable independent person idealized.
Why be attracted to one when you ARE one?
Too bad we can't date ourselves. I mean, how the hell do you love yourself?
Preslatko..
my oh my-
❤
I've realized that I'm that unavailable person unintentionally according to the trauma I got from my ex, But I just figured it out and I don't knoe what to do to the other person without hurting him
Pls I need an advice asap😢
I'm in the exact same situation 🥲
@@violet_sky3603 Ahh if you find anything to make it better please share it with me😭
Can we get Amanda Silvera to voice more of your videos? We miss her.
Who else watched this video, relates to it, but still will not "break up" with their "partner"?😅
i'm dead
I am emotionally unavailable 😞
I'm dealing with my ex now. He said love and care for me but found out later it's all lies
I’m avoidant 🙂↔️
I'm emotionless to strangers in public I'm also inside 93 percent of my life
Imagine having parents like this lol
Or, you're attracted to someone who just isn't in to you
♥️ ❤❤❤
Can you make a video of how someone's emotions can be affected when falsely accused of sexual abuse please, to help a friend of mine.
This is me with prof Snape-
(I'm aroace)
What does it mean to be emotionally unavailable? 🤔 I had never heard this before.
I'm a Emotionally Unavailable Person
Why?
So it is because people want to subconsciously try to help them not experience their own emotional distant result. 🤔
Oh look, time for Psych2Go to personally attack me again. 😂
2:42
3:00
I just learned that I completely screwed myself over with my first and last (for now) GF...
Yoooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!😭😭😭😭
Did this video help you?
Can you show us your source ?
I kinda feel like I'm a emotionally unavailable people attracted to other emotionally unavailable people.
Same
I feel like you just ran a sword through my chest. I'm emotionally unavailable. All my emotions are really just a show as I've actually told people. The unfortunate issue is that the person who wants me to change is Christian, which is a religion that really wants to change emotionally unavailable individuals for some unexplained reason. Which one of us has more leverage would you say? lol.
They arent emotionally unavailable....they are emotionally unavailable to just me...😂