One is delaying gratification...one is punishment. I think it's a natural reinforcer to finish a task well and then have gratification of some kind- a hot bath, a glass of wine, or, in Abbie's case, a bowl of her favorite cereal.
I do the same with blood draws, after I'm done with the blood draw and/or vaccine, I always get a treat. I'm completely blind, autistic, and have a chronic heart condition, my youtube channel is Dringa vlogs
I believe it’s a first and then situation. Not you cannot have food until you do that. Nothing to do withholding. First we do this and then we do that. Just my thought as a a retired teacher. I am so grateful for your channel and the great example your family sets for others. A real family dealing with real things! (Like Hackers) LoL You had a trip and felt the hurt and got back up!❤
Behavior analyst. you making Abbie clean up before breakfast is just like getting her to do any task before she got any reinforcement. You’re not withholding food from her, you are just letting her know that she has to clean up her mess first then she gets breakfast. You would be withholding if you were to make her clean it up and not give it to her at all. You told her she can have what she wants but she has to do this one thing first, It’s a first then statement you are telling her that first you have to do this thing then you can have this thing. You are also teaching her the life skill of cleaning up her mess before she can move on. ( Hope this makes sense)
This a difficult one that I used to deal with as an caregiver quite regularly. Yes, it is a now and next approach but how long do you wait? I have had people who would delay or refuse tasks for several hours because they really didnt want to do it. If I waited several hours for them to eventually do the task and then gave them the food they would effectively miss the meal and so I would probably be accused of withholding food because of the length of time it was delayed. ie I wonder how long, delaying food counts as witholding. Witholding food is physical abuse and obviously wrong so I didnt want to risk it.
I work for a non-profit in Canada. We are strictly play based therapy. We do not use ABA therapy at all. However, in this circumstance, this is a first/then strategy. First we clean our mess, then we eat. It’s not at all withholding food. Just life skills. You guys are doing great with Abbey!
It’s not like she’s not going to get her meal, it’s just delayed until the task is done. I can see how it’s different than if you enticed her with a treat but then didn’t give it to her because the task wasn’t getting done.
Love how much attitude miss Abbie gives lately ! Definitely full on teenager giving mom and dad attitude . Just because she has a non verbal autism diagnosis, doesn’t mean she can’t give attitude 😂. Love watching your family !
Cilla please the fried chicken with linguine lemon sauce. That dish is so awesome. Summer and a couple girls made it one time too. What you were doing imo was the same as saying wash your hands before you eat.
Its different because its not being used as a disciplinary/reinforcement of action. Its simply just what is, plus your doing it together as a family, and that's happiness /Fun. I completely agree with you in regards to food being withheld or given as a learning/disciplinary tool, it should not be in the equation. Many children on the spectrum have complex process of understanding, woven with Comorbidies of multiple afflictions. Giving these differences in each individual..... its not so cut and dry/ black and white as some people may believe. What may work for one may not for another. Do this or else never works with Autistic children in my 30 years of experience. Consequences are not usually remembered easily, or thought of easily. Many of these special children are spontaneous, impulsive, have one track minds, live in the moment, childlike, truthfull, and are the most innocent of all mankind. Some cannot do much in the way of cleaning up after things and thats ok. I find doing things together as a family /friends is fun for my special kids, making a game of tasks, and praising them for how well they are doing will go further than anything else!
It's different because we all have to do things before we do other things, like you have to get out of bed before we get dressed, it's routine based not reward and punishment based ❤❤
I don’t think saying “you can have your breakfast after you clean up!” is withholding food! It would be different if you were withholding food because she was being “bad”. As a kid my mom would say you’re not eating dinner until you wash your hands, and it’s the same thing. I wouldn’t worry about it, you’re great parents :)
Farm families didn't eat breakfast until morning chores were done, also dinner/supper wasn't served until evening chores were done. Nothing wrong with delaying food. You are not withholding food.
I don't think it's withholding food from her. I think that it can be a motivator to get a task done because the reward is breakfast. I think it's a normal parental reaction .
Meltdowns have a reason they occurred. We don’t focus on her listening when she has a meltdown, we focus on helping her gain control again and get through the meltdown. If it’s a tantrum that leads to a meltdown we get through it then she finishes the task that may have started the tantrum to begin with but we talk about it and work through it with her so she knows that there are better ways to communicate that she doesn’t want to do something. Hopefully that answers your question. I’m assuming you are talking about if it happens when she’s supposed to be cleaning up or doing something she may not want to do.
Priscilla I love all your food, I miss your videos! Im so sorry you guys went through that! Abbie you were so persistant with the sushi thing ha! You look very relaxed with your magazines! You are not witholding food, its not like shes not going to give it after, you are asking her to do a task first like any parent asks a child hey can we clean this up first! Anyway, have a great weekend and see you in the next video! ❤😊
Abby you make me laugh girl listen to your parents please I I know you really want to go out but dinner is more cheaper. Sometimes I know you probably don’t understand that. Hopefully you will love you guys you keep up the good work Abby.
Premack principle right? First this, then that! It is the #1 thing that works for my son. I highly encourage it!! He loves fruit snacks & mm’s. We use it as a reinforcer. First clean up, then fruit snacks! First potty, then mm’s! He’s 6, & stubborn, but it really works!!! We don’t withhold meals of course but fruit snacks & mm’s are treats. Is this wrong?
Asa, I’m not a therapist but when I was little if I made a mess before breakfast my mom would make us clean up are mess first before we could enjoy our cereal. I never felt like my parents with held food. They were teach us if you make a mess you first clean that up then eat breakfast or whatever meal it may be. It works for a typical child as well.
Jordan is 19. He loves tearing his paper as well. We have never withheld food for any behaviors. What we do is show him the plan for the morning. Always 3 things and we do that. (He loves 3. Always has). He has food phobias (a big plate of food scares him)so we use side plates and divide the food into bite sizes.
Ab was trying so hard to go out to eat! Every teen in America!!😂 I don't think it's withholding! I'm not a therapist at all, just another parent with 2 teens who have autism.🥰🥰 Have a great Friday everyone!!💚🧡
If you were to tell her that she misbehaved this morning, so now she doesn’t get a snack, that would be food withholding. Having her clean up and then being able to have that treat is more positive reinforcement in my mind.
im not a therapist telling her that you wanted her to something first before you get to eat is not witholding food to me.. i think thats with any child autistic or not
I was taught this too so its normel mind yeah back in those days we had no choice or our mom would get realy msd and its like abbie gets to enjoy her breakfast even more
A few of my favorite channels..now including y'all have had their channels terminated (although your situation was different)....for strikes that were absolutely unbelievable!! They need a different freaking plan lol Just like that..gone..and some people solely make a living doing what they do ...just my opinion lol
You're not withholding food from her. You're not eating either. My son was in ABA therapy, and I never liked them rewarding my son with food. Instead of food he would get stickers or a small toy.
its more like lets clean up before we move on to the next thing. Like lets clean up before we leave, lets clean up before we go to bed or lets clean up before we have dinner. we feel like we have accomplished something and we do not want to come back and clean up later. teaching to clean up as we go along.
You are so lucky it only happened to PP&P not your main channel!! I know that was your biggest fear, losing the videos. Hope the back up process is happening!
Hi abbie and family are y'all ready for the weekend,i clean up before and after i eat breakfast, hope y'all are having a wonderful friday and stay safe out there 🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️
I don't think you are withholding food necessarily I think it's more of delaying her access to food because if you were withholding food she would have never got the food because she didn't want to clean up the paper shredds but what you did it delayed her getting the food by saying do this first then you get the food you wanted
I do the same thing with my 3 year old granddaughter who is not autistic. It’s more of a suggestion, let’s get this cleaned up and then we’ll eat. Will she still get fed if she refuses to clean up? Of course she will. Will she be able to get anything else out before she cleans up the first mess? Absolutely not
Poor Priscella, I feel like it's wrong for people to completely loose their channels due to no fault of their own just because youtube worked in a certain way as people put so much time (and time is money one could say) into doing their videos and building up their subscribers. I wish youtube could be sued for that kind of thing (there should always be an ability to bring back a channel by them esp when this kind of thing is probably happening to many).
I know you try to explain things best you can but I honestly don't understand why people cause you all so much stress. I've raised 6 children, none with autism like Abby but I know kids. You are doing nothing different with Abby with a daily task basic thing than I have done with my own children many times over. It seems some people think Abby should not have task at all or that you guys should never push her to accept new ideas or stresses ????? IMHO, you'd be failing her otherwise !!! She has to have some sort of comfort level in the world or her life has no quality !! She also doesn't need to be a wild child with no manners or ability to do things that are of a daily need !! I applaud you guys AGAIN for opening up your life & taking all the guff you do from some of the public to show people that those with Autism can be productive & learn new skills
I believe you can delay breakfast, but Dr. Phil would always say to never use food as a punishment. this is what he would tell families with Neurotypical kids so I could imagine with autism children it would apply even more. For our son what our doctor recommended is say, he made a big mess in the living room, he is to clean it up even if he puts one piece of paper in the garbage then give him breakfast cause sometimes they’re hungry and they can’t do their task, and if it sits there for three days, let it sit there for three days but don’t give up and don’t give in let them do it and they will eventually.
I think what you might have been trying to say as for "withholding food" is withholding food would be a negative consequence. If you don't do "x" you can't get "y". Whereas what you were doing with Abbie was not meant to be a consequence. You would never withhold breakfast if for some reason she was not complying with the request. You know her well and have gotten her to the point that everyday chores such as picking up after herself is just an everyday part of life, not something that might be frustrating or traumatic. I've watched quite alot of your videos on this channel and I'm curious to know your thoughts on the other end of the spectrum: using food as positive reinforcement.
I believe in food reinforcement because we use it daily in my special education classroom if you work on this task you got your favorite snack which works like a charm but we never say no you can’t eat a snack just you need to complete this task first!
Yes! This works for my ASD son & it has never felt like a punishment or something a moral. It started in ABA & we use it at home. Maybe when he’s older it will change but he’s 6 & it’s seems ok to me.
Do you put some of your chores or tasks before breakfast or are you only doing this to her in order to get her to complete something? If you're changing her routine (meaning if she normally does breakfast before doing chores) then you are not doing the right thing for an autistic person. As someone on the spectrum, I can see why this is upsetting to her. She woke up thinking she'd get her normal bowl of cereal and you've taken that constant away to clean up a mess of paper (not a mess that would actually cause any real harm). You could have had her clean up before bed the night before, but you decided to instead insert it into a random place in her routine. Morning routines are perhaps the MOST important routines for an autistic person and messing up that routine is going to upset your ADULT daughter who should have more control over her time.
As a child if I wanted something and my mom said I had tocleqn my room first to get the thing that's what happened.. i don't think your withholding food youare explaining there's an order to things.. chores first then fun things or positive thing.. abbies fun thi g is food.. if she was having a high stim day and it would take all day to clean you wouldn't withhold you would choose a different order to things.
I see nothing wrong at all by saying you can't eat till you do/finish this chore if the chore is just a normal kind of one which wont take long to do. It's not like you are going to force her to miss breakfast, rather it's a case of her being treated more like how everyone treats their kids (like treating her like a normal child) so I see nothing wrong with this as she was quite capable of doing what you wanted. Kids get food "delayed" all the time eg they need to wait till a certain time to eat if they are at school so what can be wrong with getting her to tidy up her mess first. Having to delay things one wants to have or do is just a part of normal life. You weren't doing it to punish her and that is where I believe a difference lies, you only were doing it to get her to clean up quicker. It's okay to treat her at times as a normal kid. Did you ever say to your other child when he was growing up.. we will have dinner (or whatever) once we/you have done/finished this. I bet you did at times
Therapist here: It's different because you are using a "first/then" approach (first we do this, then..... ). This is a common approach used with a lot of children on the spectrum.
It is amazing the message that you give when you have a first/then approach. I think kids feel respected. One time I had some new kids visiting our home. Of course, they asked for a snack. Their mom was embarrassed, but I looked right in the kids' eyes and told them, "I have a nice snack planned for this afternoon. I will call you when it is ready.". They did not nag, but ran off to play feeling like they were company because refreshments were already planned for a certain time.
I'm not an expert in any field but had 2 kids and taught school 37 years. I used "Logical Consequences".....If you do this then these are the consequences.....or If you don't do this then these are the logical consequences. Abigail is smart. I believe she will catch on and understand. "You made this mess and until you get it cleaned up, (the consequence is) No breakfast UNTIL you get it cleaned up. Works with kids of all ages. For toddlers...pick up your toys and put them in the toybox, then you can have breakfast, snack, free time....whatever you decide. Teen: Clean your room or you can't go out tonight.
That’s because channels are worth money. That’s like saying “funny how banks get robbed”. They have something of value so they become a target. Just like any other crime
I think that what people become concerned about is if she doesn’t clean up, then will the parent just let her starve? I personally don’t have an issue with the way you two are doing it as I’ve watched your channel long enough to know that Abby’s welfare is your top priority and I see zero red flags. Unfortunately, there are parents in the world who would let their children starve. :(
I started watching a channel with an autism young man and was overwhelmed with the amount of fast food the parents were allowing him to eat. He is very overweight and has low or no energy. I cannot watch without my heart breaking for this young man. Abigail has the best parents and big brother who support her in every way possible.🤗🤗😘😘
If Abby was upset because she was hungry, I know you would let her eat. She may be complaining, but she's doing the task. She argues, just like my 12 year old son.
Would it be an okay thing to ask for a time lapse of beginning to end of a magazine shredding session or is that crossing boundaries like too much in to personal life stuff? I just thought it would be interesting to see because the end is always such a big spread out pile that its hard to imagine how it gets that big! Abbie has an incredible talent for finding ways of self soothing and it has encouraged me to find different ways to be creative when needing to calm down some of my own sensory seeking. Thank you for sharing!
She doesn't want to be bothered much when she's shredding. I'll check on her and talk to her for a few seconds but she always wants to be left alone. I think filming it for anything more than a few seconds would be invading and intruding on her time if that makes sense. Thank you for asking though.
One is delaying gratification...one is punishment. I think it's a natural reinforcer to finish a task well and then have gratification of some kind- a hot bath, a glass of wine, or, in Abbie's case, a bowl of her favorite cereal.
I do the same with blood draws, after I'm done with the blood draw and/or vaccine, I always get a treat.
I'm completely blind, autistic, and have a chronic heart condition, my youtube channel is Dringa vlogs
I believe it’s a first and then situation. Not you cannot have food until you do that. Nothing to do withholding. First we do this and then we do that. Just my thought as a a retired teacher. I am so grateful for your channel and the great example your family sets for others. A real family dealing with real things! (Like Hackers) LoL You had a trip and felt the hurt and got back up!❤
Behavior analyst. you making Abbie clean up before breakfast is just like getting her to do any task before she got any reinforcement. You’re not withholding food from her, you are just letting her know that she has to clean up her mess first then she gets breakfast. You would be withholding if you were to make her clean it up and not give it to her at all. You told her she can have what she wants but she has to do this one thing first, It’s a first then statement you are telling her that first you have to do this thing then you can have this thing. You are also teaching her the life skill of cleaning up her mess before she can move on. ( Hope this makes sense)
Right?! I clean up my mess before I have my breakfast and I’m 43.
Can you give me advice on my 15 yr old high functioning autistic son?
I always clean anything before breakfast
Yes!!
Well said it was like you were in my head
It like doing your chores before eating or doing something else so don't worry she is loved abd that all that matters you guys are so good to her
This a difficult one that I used to deal with as an caregiver quite regularly. Yes, it is a now and next approach but how long do you wait? I have had people who would delay or refuse tasks for several hours because they really didnt want to do it. If I waited several hours for them to eventually do the task and then gave them the food they would effectively miss the meal and so I would probably be accused of withholding food because of the length of time it was delayed. ie I wonder how long, delaying food counts as witholding. Witholding food is physical abuse and obviously wrong so I didnt want to risk it.
What are we doing...walffe fries 😂😂😂 love abbie❤❤
I work for a non-profit in Canada. We are strictly play based therapy. We do not use ABA therapy at all. However, in this circumstance, this is a first/then strategy. First we clean our mess, then we eat. It’s not at all withholding food. Just life skills.
You guys are doing great with Abbey!
It’s not like she’s not going to get her meal, it’s just delayed until the task is done. I can see how it’s different than if you enticed her with a treat but then didn’t give it to her because the task wasn’t getting done.
Put a button on there that says leave me alone old man
I have absolutely no judgment at all, I think you are all amazing, I just enjoy the content on all channels and love you guys!❤
Could you get Abbie a little ball pit where she could shred her paper so it is contained in one spot so it is easier clean up? Just a thought
Love how much attitude miss Abbie gives lately ! Definitely full on teenager giving mom and dad attitude . Just because she has a non verbal autism diagnosis, doesn’t mean she can’t give attitude 😂. Love watching your family !
I love when Abbie gets excited it’s the cutest thing ever.😂
Cilla please the fried chicken with linguine lemon sauce. That dish is so awesome. Summer and a couple girls made it one time too.
What you were doing imo was the same as saying wash your hands before you eat.
Ooooh your crab boil thing in the giant pot! I'm in uk.... I dont like crab .. but I want to try that!
Its different because its not being used as a disciplinary/reinforcement of action. Its simply just what is, plus your doing it together as a family, and that's happiness /Fun. I completely agree with you in regards to food being withheld or given as a learning/disciplinary tool, it should not be in the equation. Many children on the spectrum have complex process of understanding, woven with Comorbidies of multiple afflictions. Giving these differences in each individual..... its not so cut and dry/ black and white as some people may believe. What may work for one may not for another. Do this or else never works with Autistic children in my 30 years of experience. Consequences are not usually remembered easily, or thought of easily. Many of these special children are spontaneous, impulsive, have one track minds, live in the moment, childlike, truthfull, and are the most innocent of all mankind. Some cannot do much in the way of cleaning up after things and thats ok. I find doing things together as a family /friends is fun for my special kids, making a game of tasks, and praising them for how well they are doing will go further than anything else!
It's different because we all have to do things before we do other things, like you have to get out of bed before we get dressed, it's routine based not reward and punishment based ❤❤
I love it when Abbie knows what you're talking about and still tries to argue with you
Abbie girl, you need a tall ishh Recycling Box easy access for your paper shredding desires!!
I don’t think saying “you can have your breakfast after you clean up!” is withholding food! It would be different if you were withholding food because she was being “bad”. As a kid my mom would say you’re not eating dinner until you wash your hands, and it’s the same thing. I wouldn’t worry about it, you’re great parents :)
It’s different because its not like your saying no you cant eat your saying we will when this task is done.
Farm families didn't eat breakfast until morning chores were done, also dinner/supper wasn't served until evening chores were done. Nothing wrong with delaying food. You are not withholding food.
I don't think it's withholding food from her. I think that it can be a motivator to get a task done because the reward is breakfast. I think it's a normal parental reaction .
What do you do when Abbie has a full blown meltdown, where she is not going to listen ?
Meltdowns have a reason they occurred. We don’t focus on her listening when she has a meltdown, we focus on helping her gain control again and get through the meltdown. If it’s a tantrum that leads to a meltdown we get through it then she finishes the task that may have started the tantrum to begin with but we talk about it and work through it with her so she knows that there are better ways to communicate that she doesn’t want to do something. Hopefully that answers your question. I’m assuming you are talking about if it happens when she’s supposed to be cleaning up or doing something she may not want to do.
Priscilla I love all your food, I miss your videos! Im so sorry you guys went through that! Abbie you were so persistant with the sushi thing ha! You look very relaxed with your magazines! You are not witholding food, its not like shes not going to give it after, you are asking her to do a task first like any parent asks a child hey can we clean this up first! Anyway, have a great weekend and see you in the next video! ❤😊
Abby you make me laugh girl listen to your parents please I I know you really want to go out but dinner is more cheaper. Sometimes I know you probably don’t understand that. Hopefully you will love you guys you keep up the good work Abby.
How often does somebody trip on the pathway bricks. I cringe every time you walk through there.
I don’t think anyone’s ever tripped there
Premack principle right? First this, then that! It is the #1 thing that works for my son. I highly encourage it!! He loves fruit snacks & mm’s. We use it as a reinforcer. First clean up, then fruit snacks! First potty, then mm’s! He’s 6, & stubborn, but it really works!!! We don’t withhold meals of course but fruit snacks & mm’s are treats. Is this wrong?
Ok I linked back up with pots and pans. I will look at the salsa video later.
Abbie repeating various fast food places had me giggling. She's quite determined to get what she wants huh. ❤
Looks like our crazy life. Thanks for sharing.
Asa, I’m not a therapist but when I was little if I made a mess before breakfast my mom would make us clean up are mess first before we could enjoy our cereal. I never felt like my parents with held food. They were teach us if you make a mess you first clean that up then eat breakfast or whatever meal it may be. It works for a typical child as well.
Jordan is 19. He loves tearing his paper as well. We have never withheld food for any behaviors. What we do is show him the plan for the morning. Always 3 things and we do that. (He loves 3. Always has). He has food phobias (a big plate of food scares him)so we use side plates and divide the food into bite sizes.
The whole family is amazing and full of love and patience and it is working!
Please share the deets on those lights? They would be perfect for someone I know who bakes and always struggles with light for fine work.
I can so relate to Abbie. I too LOVE going out to eat and would do it all the time if I could.
Ab was trying so hard to go out to eat! Every teen in America!!😂 I don't think it's withholding! I'm not a therapist at all, just another parent with 2 teens who have autism.🥰🥰 Have a great Friday everyone!!💚🧡
If you were to tell her that she misbehaved this morning, so now she doesn’t get a snack, that would be food withholding. Having her clean up and then being able to have that treat is more positive reinforcement in my mind.
To me it’s the same as with anyone get the chore done and then we eat
im not a therapist telling her that you wanted her to something first before you get to eat is not witholding food to me.. i think thats with any child autistic or not
I was taught this too so its normel mind yeah back in those days we had no choice or our mom would get realy msd and its like abbie gets to enjoy her breakfast even more
A few of my favorite channels..now including y'all have had their channels terminated (although your situation was different)....for strikes that were absolutely unbelievable!! They need a different freaking plan lol Just like that..gone..and some people solely make a living doing what they do ...just my opinion lol
She’s so smart she knows what she is doing
Can I have the link to the new PPP please
I love Abby hiding under a blanket 😂 oh she is a sassy pants!!!
My husband and I love to make crunch wraps with Doritos:)
You're not withholding food from her. You're not eating either. My son was in ABA therapy, and I never liked them rewarding my son with food. Instead of food he would get stickers or a small toy.
It’s not withholding….. it’s delayed satisfaction which more of us need today 😊
its more like lets clean up before we move on to the next thing. Like lets clean up before we leave, lets clean up before we go to bed or lets clean up before we have dinner. we feel like we have accomplished something and we do not want to come back and clean up later. teaching to clean up as we go along.
You are so lucky it only happened to PP&P not your main channel!! I know that was your biggest fear, losing the videos.
Hope the back up process is happening!
Just subscribed to Priscilla's new channel 😊❤
Hi abbie and family are y'all ready for the weekend,i clean up before and after i eat breakfast, hope y'all are having a wonderful friday and stay safe out there 🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️
What are you going to do about more mass. I liked that content to.
They still have More Maass
He still post on that page
Even though Abbie is non verbal it fascinates me how she seems to understand everything you say to her love you guys and keep on keeping on
Your just saying let’s do this before we eat. I think
Withholding would be saying no you didn’t do this so no food
I don't think you are withholding food necessarily I think it's more of delaying her access to food because if you were withholding food she would have never got the food because she didn't want to clean up the paper shredds but what you did it delayed her getting the food by saying do this first then you get the food you wanted
You're right you're not with holding food. You are delaying...and that's just life
I do the same thing with my 3 year old granddaughter who is not autistic. It’s more of a suggestion, let’s get this cleaned up and then we’ll eat. Will she still get fed if she refuses to clean up? Of course she will. Will she be able to get anything else out before she cleans up the first mess? Absolutely not
Poor Priscella, I feel like it's wrong for people to completely loose their channels due to no fault of their own just because youtube worked in a certain way as people put so much time (and time is money one could say) into doing their videos and building up their subscribers. I wish youtube could be sued for that kind of thing (there should always be an ability to bring back a channel by them esp when this kind of thing is probably happening to many).
I know you try to explain things best you can but I honestly don't understand why people cause you all so much stress.
I've raised 6 children, none with autism like Abby but I know kids.
You are doing nothing different with Abby with a daily task basic thing than I have done with my own children
many times over.
It seems some people think Abby should not have task at all or that you guys should never push her to accept new ideas
or stresses ?????
IMHO, you'd be failing her otherwise !!!
She has to have some sort of comfort level in the world or her life has no quality !!
She also doesn't need to be a wild child with no manners or ability to do things that
are of a daily need !!
I applaud you guys AGAIN for opening up your life & taking all the guff you do from
some of the public to show people that those with Autism can be productive & learn new skills
I believe you can delay breakfast, but Dr. Phil would always say to never use food as a punishment. this is what he would tell families with Neurotypical kids so I could imagine with autism children it would apply even more. For our son what our doctor recommended is say, he made a big mess in the living room, he is to clean it up even if he puts one piece of paper in the garbage then give him breakfast cause sometimes they’re hungry and they can’t do their task, and if it sits there for three days, let it sit there for three days but don’t give up and don’t give in let them do it and they will eventually.
I think what you might have been trying to say as for "withholding food" is withholding food would be a negative consequence. If you don't do "x" you can't get "y". Whereas what you were doing with Abbie was not meant to be a consequence. You would never withhold breakfast if for some reason she was not complying with the request. You know her well and have gotten her to the point that everyday chores such as picking up after herself is just an everyday part of life, not something that might be frustrating or traumatic. I've watched quite alot of your videos on this channel and I'm curious to know your thoughts on the other end of the spectrum: using food as positive reinforcement.
Not have anything, even a snack, before chores was a thing growing up for us. Just like foing our to play or wven video games
I’m not hearing you dad , la la la la la
I believe in food reinforcement because we use it daily in my special education classroom if you work on this task you got your favorite snack which works like a charm but we never say no you can’t eat a snack just you need to complete this task first!
Yes! This works for my ASD son & it has never felt like a punishment or something a moral. It started in ABA & we use it at home. Maybe when he’s older it will change but he’s 6 & it’s seems ok to me.
Priscilla! I think you should make sliders 😊 My daughter wants sliders this weekend and I just don't know how to make them 😂
It's not withholding, it's just life, right? I wld get up & pick up my mess before breakfast ❤
I wish the US would help its own people😢
As I was watching you talk about Pricilla’s channel, I got the notification at that moment that Pots, Pans and Pricilla just uploaded the video
So I can still see all her old vids on PPP
its not witholding food,,, its delaying food i think. but i am not in anyway experienced
I would love her macaroni and cheese.
Do you put some of your chores or tasks before breakfast or are you only doing this to her in order to get her to complete something?
If you're changing her routine (meaning if she normally does breakfast before doing chores) then you are not doing the right thing for an autistic person.
As someone on the spectrum, I can see why this is upsetting to her. She woke up thinking she'd get her normal bowl of cereal and you've taken that constant away to clean up a mess of paper (not a mess that would actually cause any real harm). You could have had her clean up before bed the night before, but you decided to instead insert it into a random place in her routine.
Morning routines are perhaps the MOST important routines for an autistic person and messing up that routine is going to upset your ADULT daughter who should have more control over her time.
The breakfast was not made yet and it’s a meal/ task/ part of the day and not a snack/ edible reinforcer.
Were you able to back up all of the videos on here so if, (heaven forbid) you get hacked again you’ll have all of them?
As a child if I wanted something and my mom said I had tocleqn my room first to get the thing that's what happened.. i don't think your withholding food youare explaining there's an order to things.. chores first then fun things or positive thing.. abbies fun thi g is food.. if she was having a high stim day and it would take all day to clean you wouldn't withhold you would choose a different order to things.
It’s not withholding food, it’s just postponing until she’s done her task1 she’s still getting her breakfast
Lol I'm with Abbie...SUSHI! She's definitely being a teenager today. 🙂
Sorry 'Cilla lost her channel
That was unfair to take away Priscilla’s channel!
I see nothing wrong at all by saying you can't eat till you do/finish this chore if the chore is just a normal kind of one which wont take long to do. It's not like you are going to force her to miss breakfast, rather it's a case of her being treated more like how everyone treats their kids (like treating her like a normal child) so I see nothing wrong with this as she was quite capable of doing what you wanted. Kids get food "delayed" all the time eg they need to wait till a certain time to eat if they are at school so what can be wrong with getting her to tidy up her mess first.
Having to delay things one wants to have or do is just a part of normal life. You weren't doing it to punish her and that is where I believe a difference lies, you only were doing it to get her to clean up quicker. It's okay to treat her at times as a normal kid. Did you ever say to your other child when he was growing up.. we will have dinner (or whatever) once we/you have done/finished this. I bet you did at times
If you were going out somewhere, the paper would have to be picked up first. This is not food reward it's life skills.
You're not withholding food you're teaching her to finish one task before starting another. ❤❤❤
Therapist here: It's different because you are using a "first/then" approach (first we do this, then..... ). This is a common approach used with a lot of children on the spectrum.
It is amazing the message that you give when you have a first/then approach. I think kids feel respected. One time I had some new kids visiting our home. Of course, they asked for a snack. Their mom was embarrassed, but I looked right in the kids' eyes and told them, "I have a nice snack planned for this afternoon. I will call you when it is ready.". They did not nag, but ran off to play feeling like they were company because refreshments were already planned for a certain time.
I'm not an expert in any field but had 2 kids and taught school 37 years. I used "Logical Consequences".....If you do this then these are the consequences.....or If you don't do this then these are the logical consequences. Abigail is smart. I believe she will catch on and understand. "You made this mess and until you get it cleaned up, (the consequence is) No breakfast UNTIL you get it cleaned up. Works with kids of all ages. For toddlers...pick up your toys and put them in the toybox, then you can have breakfast, snack, free time....whatever you decide. Teen: Clean your room or you can't go out tonight.
Funny how UA-camrs get hacked 😂
That’s because channels are worth money. That’s like saying “funny how banks get robbed”. They have something of value so they become a target. Just like any other crime
lol I guess Uline paper catalogues are getting *some* use instead of straight into recycling!
I am so sick today Asa
She's so sweet x how old is she? X
18
I think that what people become concerned about is if she doesn’t clean up, then will the parent just let her starve? I personally don’t have an issue with the way you two are doing it as I’ve watched your channel long enough to know that Abby’s welfare is your top priority and I see zero red flags. Unfortunately, there are parents in the world who would let their children starve. :(
Woohoo! Uline cattys are huge!
I know you have someone in your family who is a vegetarian. I’m a vegan. Can you please make some vegan recipes for your PPP channel?!?❤😊
Fathering Austim Family I Hope You My Peter Wedding At First Congregational Church of Los Angeles Is On June 27, 2024 Time 8 or 10 a.m.
I started watching a channel with an autism young man and was overwhelmed with the amount of fast food the parents were allowing him to eat. He is very overweight and has low or no energy. I cannot watch without my heart breaking for this young man. Abigail has the best parents and big brother who support her in every way possible.🤗🤗😘😘
Chicken ricotta how to video please
If Abby was upset because she was hungry, I know you would let her eat. She may be complaining, but she's doing the task. She argues, just like my 12 year old son.
I can relate with Abigail wanting to eat out.I am not a fan of cooking, so if I’m out and about I want to eat out too.
I always use doritos instead. It is so much better.
Its not withholding food, its just delaying it until she cleans up the mess she made. Withholding means she won't get food but she will.
Either he has infinite patience or I'm just jerk
It feels different because it is different. You’re delaying the next activity until the 1st one is done.
Would it be an okay thing to ask for a time lapse of beginning to end of a magazine shredding session or is that crossing boundaries like too much in to personal life stuff? I just thought it would be interesting to see because the end is always such a big spread out pile that its hard to imagine how it gets that big! Abbie has an incredible talent for finding ways of self soothing and it has encouraged me to find different ways to be creative when needing to calm down some of my own sensory seeking. Thank you for sharing!
She doesn't want to be bothered much when she's shredding. I'll check on her and talk to her for a few seconds but she always wants to be left alone. I think filming it for anything more than a few seconds would be invading and intruding on her time if that makes sense. Thank you for asking though.
@@fatheringautism that exactly what I figured, but thank you for your response! I do appreciate it! 👍 👍 👍
You are not withholding the food, you are delaying the food until the required task is complete.