No, that's NOT how Autism Works...
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- Опубліковано 28 лют 2024
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💛WATCH NEXT💛:
Autistic People are STILL Being Mocked Online: • Autistic People are ST...
Autism Moms are making a MOCKERY of Autism.: • Autism Moms are making...
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00:00 But that's not how autism works...
📹 My Videos mentioned 📹:
Gen Z, This Term for Autism is NOT OKAY.: • Gen Z, This Term for A...
The 4 Types of Autistic Masking: • The 4 Types of Autisti...
📒 Sources 📒:
r/NotHowGirlsWork Posts:
/ nothowgirlswork
/ had_autism_mansplained...
/ not_how_autistic_girls...
/ found_in_a_comment_sec...
/ what_the_fuck_does_tha...
/ apparently_women_lose_...
/ autism_as_birth_control
Parental Age and Autism: www.spectrumnews.org/news/lin...
Pregnancy Doesn't Cure Endometriosis: theconversation.com/pregnancy...
Adults Discovering they're Autistic after Child Diagnosis: www.theguardian.com/society/2...
Manic Pixie Dream Girl Reddit Post: / can_we_talk_about_how_...
Current State of Autism Knowledge of General Public USA: www.sciencedirect.com/science...
📖 *Books I'd Recommend about Autism 📖 :
Aspergirls by Rudy Simone:
amzn.to/3xSZ6Mg
Different not Less by Chloe Hayden (read if you want to cry):
amzn.to/40fKx2m
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price:
amzn.to/3LhMV3j
*These are affiliate links. The channel will receive a small commission if you buy anything on Amazon after clicking through with this link. There's no extra cost to you; any money will go towards putting out more content. I'd love to post twice a week and put more time into research for these videos. Thank you so much - I really appreciate every like and comment!
DISCLAIMER: I am a second-year psychology student and a late-diagnosed #actuallyautistic individual. I am not a qualified healthcare professional.
Which of these opinions do you think is the most ridiculous (and/or scary!)
Hopefully this gives you a bit of a laugh after all the heavier stuff we’ve had recently!
If you'd like to continue laughing, you might also enjoy my last reaction to the ‘evil autism’ subreddit (full of actually autistic people): ua-cam.com/video/mTF2Fqr7D4c/v-deo.html
If you’re in the mood for dismantling some misconceptions about autism (and bath bombs??) you might like this one: ua-cam.com/video/Ms7NOHAZ-Vk/v-deo.html
Hope you’ve had a good February and I’ll see you on Sunday! 💛💛💛
P.S. Lewis recommends putting the credits at the end on double speed to make the penguins waddle faster. You’re welcome 😂🐧
Probably the fetishising one. It kinda seems self-contradicting. And also people being surprised when you know stuff, because that happens, and once they get used to you knowing things they didn't expect, they might do the same in reverse, being surprised whenever you didn't know something they thought you should know.
I'm honestly still riled up by the person on your last video who said you were transphobic for making the video at all. Because showing Buck on your video is the exact same as you agreeing with Buck, APPARENTLY. /s
Genuinely can't let it go, it was just baffling to me. You apparently also hate non-binary people because....again the reason wasn't made clear in any of their rants, I still can't figure it out, and I'm queer and usually sensitive to people's dogwhistles.
Not to scare anyone, but even perimenopause is no joke. Tips: Find a good GYN if you don't have one EARLY on so you are ready, even though I know it isn't fun. (Especially if you have hypermobility/EDS/dysautonomia.) Be at the ready with HRT, like Meg said! (Go Meg!). If you have floppy collagen, it gets worse and it's a huge downward spiral if you don't know what's going on until way too late. 🙋♀ Starting ASAP- epigenetics are real & most of us have comorbidities that will also get worse ... so eating the healthiest food possible (or good multivitamins/soylent green, whatever you can do) can help genes express themselves the best they are able to (and help prevent symptoms of other illnesses from worsening in your life and causing more stress). Also, do the most & best exercise you can safely do... also for reasons of staying strong and in the best shape to help with gene expression & just keeping your body doing the best it can. I let these things slip & it's made this time of life SO much harder... I literally found this channel after googling, could I be becoming more autistic? (because the sensory stuff & my people stuff just got so much harder & more exhausting the last few years). I really think so much of this is preventable or treatable if you can stay on it!
@@cynthiabrown5456I’ve heard mixed views on HRT and haven’t tried it myself. My periods are fully gone now and I don’t miss them but I do think more women should be warned about the periods you get as they’re reaching their end… the ridiculously heavy ones that soak through a pad + a super size tampon inside an hour.
@@trippingandbrowsing1269 Me, a nonbinary sort of trans person who was only able to bear watching that video because of her explaining why buck and the autism mommy were wrong (and also just the bits where she was talking and I could relax and recover between having to listen to buck and the other one talk)
😳
"How high are you?" Not high enough.
i came here to say this. 👍🏻
Yes🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😮
*looks at bong* "I can fix that."
No, when I saw that, I thought of the House episode with the dwarves:
"Are you high?"
"Higher than you."
Next we need
r/AreTheNeurotypicalsOkay
Now that needs to be a thing!
As someone with autism, no. I hate those disgusting condescending tribal subreddits.
@@WDS820^^
YES
@@WDS820yeah this whole trend of subreddit naming is cringe. At least there can be a better name for the subreddit that isn't explicitly pointing fingers and casting a group of people as the "out group"
Pregnancy can trigger all sorts of health and psychiatric conditions, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a case where it cures them.
maybe it triggers neurotypicality lol (it doesn’t)
I'm not sure about mental health conditions but weirdly I have a pain condition called CRPS that can go into remission during pregnancy but no one knows why
Exactly. I have ADHD and the symptoms got exponentially worse after I had kids. And that is very common in women.
@@sheilaross1449pretty much. It’s executive dysfunction x2. Motherhood is exhausting, but also, your body and brain literally change from pregnancy to birth and beyond.
@@CelestinWIDMERoh god, if my entire personality/being got changed in a second from being pregnant, that’s just extra reason to get sterilized for me lol
As someone who gets the weirdest responses to me being childfree, yes, society in general just wants women to procreate.
I relate to this! Also child free & now perimenopausal - I wonder if people will leave me alone once I've menopaused...🤔
Yep. Doctors refused to have conversations about getting sterilized; they blurt out "you might change your mind and want more children someday!" and then they ran out of the room.
I think I have finally hit the point where doctors will agree with me upon getting my tubes tied. I’m 35 but also the fact I’ve had three transplants, and it would be insane to assume that my body could handle a baby. No one on earth in the medical field would be happy to hear that I am pregnant. I have to go to special hospitals just for my care. When I brought up getting my tubes tied when I was younger after my first transplant, it was told to me that I was still young and I could change my mind. When people ask me why I don’t have children or married… like how much time do you have for me to explain decades of health problems to where I was trying to survive. But the fact they ask this question to anyone because they assume is horrible.
Our society in general hates women. After Roe was overturned and I hear women being denied abortions for unsafe pregnancy until it's literally killing them. They prefer us as dead incubators. The last few years have cemented my decision not to have children.
@@lindac6919Until my balance in my bank account changes and our grocery prices stop raising, my mind is made up.
I'm often told I "don't seem to be autistic anymore". I've learnt to fit in, I'm sure my brain is still wired differently!
when you get settled into a masking routine that suits you and your environment, and then someone brings attention to it lol.
its liek somenone whispering in your ear : youre breathign manually now "
Though you may PRESENT like a neurotypical, Your Autism will still affect how you process stimuli, handle stress and new situations, and how you try out new routines.
Please be careful with yourself sibling. Masking can take a heavy toll.
It's interesting, I don't really self-consciously mask, I think I learnt a few "do nots" by my early twenties, so I just come across as introverted.
I think there's a bit of a grey area between masking and being considerate of others, talking about your special interests for hours on end can be irritating even for other autistic people!
@@laurencewinch-furness9450I mean, do you consciously brush your teeth or do you just go through the motions that you've gotten used to doing?
on the "neurotypicals assuming they know what autism is without any actual knowledge"... Anytime I tell a male friend that I think I'm autistic they respond with "I think everyone is at least a little autistic"....not how that works and also feels like I'm being patronized a bit and dismissed, fun after having my doctor totally dismiss my desire to get diagnosed.
One of my community mental health nurses told me we're all "a bit autistic" and "fit on the spectrum somewhere", I had no words 😩
It's like telling someone who's black that we are all a little black lmao
I know that it is bad to say that to someone but there is something called the broad autism phenotype which is basically a way to say that someone has sub-clinical autism aka they are "a bit autistic." BTW I have ASD and ADHD.
@@mh6276 it's very possible the people Ive talked to are also on the spectrum and just don't realize that their experience isn't shared by everyone. I think it's more about how it was worded, and to be fair, I wasn't upset with either of them, just felt a bit dismissed or like they were trying to make me feel better or something (patronizing), even though I don't feel bad about it, I'm happy to finally have an explanation for all the things I've felt interacting with neurotypicals in my life.
@@imsoreetodddid9007This may actually be the best response, as it is simply a genetic difference. My response next time to such thoughts was going to be "By that logic, since we're all capable of cancer we're all cancer survivors right?". But I think your response is much better.
Maybe the true autism is the friends we made along the way
autistic friends
😂😂😂
the friends my dna made along the way maybe
On the "women can have more childlike interests", I feel like this neglects to point out that masculine interests just don't get aged. If a man is into football at a young age and stays that way into adulthood it's not seen as childish, same with other "masculine" things like cars, robots, and even figurine modeling/making, ect. Men get to continue to enjoy their childhood interests, it is only when something is seen as feminine that it is also childish for one to keep enjoying it. Doll collecting comes to mind for me; Even if it's art dolls or antiques (which children maybe shouldn't be playing with), it's seen as childish to have dolls.
*looks up from my doll customization project, which includes use of various sharp implements and toxic chemicals
I think the opposite sexism happens too, viewing boys as more adult like - aggression, domination, confidence is what adults do, but boys should also be these things. Being shy, hesistant, mindful and considerate is seen as inexperience rather than deliberate and mature.
Footballs and cars, engineering, these are thinga boys like because they're not kiddy and in turn they're viewed as competent in an adult role. Because men have to take charge or whatever bs.
Outside of sports, car stuff, and music (all of which adults also commonly take part in, regardless of sex), that's not really true at all. Men who enjoy model building with legos, playing video games, and watching cartoons (to name a few) are absolutely judged harshly for it also.
@@MoonsideResident absolutely wild take that cars and sports are commonly seen as gender neutral activities. Nobody's saying girls can't enjoy activities considered masculine but they're clearly seen as gendered
@@bujustic Cars maybe a bit, but sports? You must not know much about sports if you think they aren't considerably gender neutral. There are even several sports that women hold the most visibility and acclaim--or at least an equal amount. Nothing "wild" about that at all.
“Will do sexual things in exchange for toys/games” that’s a horrifying bullet point. That feels like simultaneous infantilization and objectification, like they don’t care about the person, but rather getting sex whenever they want, so they like the idea of easily bribing a person into sex. That’s so creepy and horrible and vile
The “I’m in the medical field” clip will never not be funny. 😆
💯
community in-joke
“I’m in the medical field” while she is standing in a field of medical marijuana 😂☠️
one of my cousins's wife is anti-vax and part of her explanation was "i used to work in the medical field" and I swear I'll be hearing this clip whenever I think of her now 💀💀💀🙈
Some people are enriching the medical field with bovine medical fertilizer
I just remember that Homeopaths, Chiropractors,and a lot of Anti-Vax nurses are also “in the medical field” and do what I do whenever someone confuses their beliefs for reality.
Mask hard until they leave.
"a-holes who use it as an excuse for their lack of social skills" is such a frustrating sentence that i always get met with!!! just because you have an easy time with it doesn't mean that others will be the same. even if you make the claim that people can work on it, it's no use if you judge people for not being good at it or don't give someone the patience and understanding they need
in the first place i feel like it should be OK to not have the best social skills in the world. the constant demand when it comes to wanting you to pick up on things, read the room, read under the lines and other things is just so tiring and frustrating when you really just feel like you can't 😭 it's like being stuck at a math problem your brain just can't figure out and you end up crying, 'cause you're pressured to solve it quickly on your own while never having been taught it
Sounds like projection on their part, lol
It's just weird the way neurotypical people get OFFENDED by someone else's lack of social skills. They feel so personally attacked by someone just being a bit odd... I don't get it
@@sugarmayo5333 It's because they'd only act that way if they disliked/disrespected someone. A lot of neurotypicals interacting with each other is them trying to read subtle signs of rudeness and "hints" they're giving each other because being direct is too dangerous.
Literally. I was thinking about this.
One of my classmates had to send in a book to one of the younger students, but the younger student didn't say "thank you" when given the book. My classmate then got upset about that (for some odd reason idk) and told one of her friends. The friend then, oddly, went on a whole rant about how that younger student was so rude and it's just "basic social decency" and they were just going on about how they would react to that situation if it was them.
It's just such cringe behaviour to me honestly. Like if you get this offended and mad at somebody not immediately saying "thank you" or "hello" then you must be so in and over your head because like... it's really. not. that. deep.
People who act like social etiquette is the sole base of human decency or even MORAL decency need a reality and reason check.
No, Because, what if that person was preoccupied with something, what if they're tired, like there's just so many reasons as to why people may not do these social etiquette "necessities". You not realizing and or even conceptualizing that supposed fact, shows the immense impulsivity and lack of reasoning. (Also self-centered delusion)
A nice message to those people, GET👏A 👏GRIP👏 YOU MF *DIPAER BABY!!*
it's so weird.@@sugarmayo5333
I think the person talking about people “using autism as an excuse” was talking about how some people (men usually) will use their autism as an excuse to hurt others instead of apologizing. I’ve witnessed/experienced a few instances where autistic men have been incredibly creepy towards women or myself and then refused to acknowledge that their behavior was harmful, using their autism as a justification rather than an explanation.
Being a autistic is no excuse for being a creepy loser. #respectwomen
I can only speak to my own experience.
"I'm Sorry," is a statement of how I'm feeling. "I have Autism," is a statement of my limitations. Whatever I did may not have had malicious intent. It may have been a bad script which I need to re-write or re-consider. It may even be a challenge for me to change going forward, so if I slip up, it doesn't mean I'm not trying, just that I have a disability to overcome.
If I ask for help, I'm not blaming the other person. Like:
"You monopolized the entire conversation at the party."
"I'm sorry. I'm Autistic. I'll try to be aware of that, but please tell me if I start to do it again."
Sometimes I've misread a room. Sometimes I've been in a meltdown. Etc... But those explainations don't mean I feel less sorry for having caused someone pain.
I have seen some cruel behaviour and question if that's really Autism, but I can't know. I just know what it's like to be inside of me.
I've also experienced this, it feels like autistic men are given more permission to use this excuse whereas autistic women/assumed women are told they need to "act your age" "grow up" "stop being a b*tch" etc and men just get to throw up their hands and say "but I'm autistic!" And that's the end of it
"yeah well I can't help it, I'm autistic" boils my piss so much. what you mean to say is you didn't realise or remember that might be/cause an issue because of your neurodivergences. and now you have at least one or two clarifying questions to ask so you can at least attempt to go through the motions of basic empathy and try and learn for future reference, right? right??? oh no wait you just want to make your compassion fatigue everyone else's problem instead of taking any responsibility. got it.
people that routinely say they "can't help it" to the extent of just being repeatedly manipulative even to other neurodivergent people (who might even be trying to figure them out so they can accommodate what they're throwing a tantrum about while also trying to make sure their own needs aren't steamrollered) make me feel like saying, if you're *SOOOO* incapable *boo hoo uwu* of giving a shit about other people, then do everyone a favour and get yourself either 1. a carer or 2. fucking sectioned.
I've experienced it. I dated a guy who was diagnosed with autism and he said some verbally abusive things via text. When confronted about it the next day, he tried to use autism as justification. There's a fine line between missing social cues and being a jerk.
"How high are you on the spectrum?" sounds like a question a stoner would ask their autistic stoner friend, wondering if smoking the flower differs between neurotype lol
Thought you might be interested:
Autism has hit the local news in my area. There was apparently a sharp up in kids with autism or likely to have autism (their words, not mine) being kicked out of daycare. The section was more about how the daycare system isn't equipped to handle the perceived rowdiness of autistic kids and how they are failing the autistic community.
so glad my aunt was my kindergarten teacher but at that time, they just thought my natural " rowdiness" was just unusal but put up with it cause the boys were kinda worse and they didn't get kicked out either.
i'm not saying asd kids are rowdy, it's just true in my case cause tomboy from birth lol.
back then, you were just considered autistic if you banged your head against a wall or didn't talk.
just about 10 years later the influx of diagnoses was astounding when the perceptions and testing changed.
society changed a lot but it's still not enough.
Little autistic me was very quiet, always well behaved.
The idea that people would assume I'd be rowdy because of my autism is hilarious.
I was excluded at daycare by the other children so I invented a friend and played quietly on my own.
As an Early Childhood Educator (I teach 3 year olds) I have some unique insights. Firstly, we aren't trained or often equipped to handle autism needs in our spaces. In my area (New England) there are many public schools that will have early childhood education options for special needs children, but the spaces are limited, and many of them are part time, not full time. I have had students who attended our center part time who had IEPs and support, in which case my center was always willing and supportive team members in helping the child.
I see more struggles with undiagnosed children, who are denied the tools they need, and we need, to help them. I am not trained in screening, but I do have years of experience and understand benchmarks and milestones. I have had many children who I suspect are autistic but the parents won't have them evaluated. There have even been cases where our directors have suggested it, and many parents have said no. The excuse often is "I don't want my child labeled."
My 19 month old son is already getting into trouble at daycare. He’s definitely seen as a “strong-willed” toddler at this point. The fear of having my son kicked out is definitely there, even though his teachers are lovely. I’m more concerned with what other parents might try doing. So far, though, the main issue has been with him taking other kids’ things and getting bitten in return, lol.
@life in my view, they don't only get kicked out cause they're allegedly harder to handle than nt kids.
it proves researches and statistics about nt's being less inclined to take autists seriously and act more dismissive on purpose, even more so after knowing someone is autistic.
treating people who are diverging from the norm with less respect and care is a very dark and evil aspect of nt society.
those who are perceived as not worth the same or weaker are removed more easily than perceived normal kids even though the latter might be more difficult to handle in some cases.
i don't want to fan your fears, just offer a tiny vent cause i can relate.
it's often not the fault of asd toddlers, but the non existant education or regulation of nt kids that cause greater problems for the nd child based on said statistics.
caregivers are more inclined to stick with nt kids, no matter how rowdy they can get.
as you mentioned, he gets bitten, which isn't an appropriate response at all.
all you can do is suggest the teachers have a word with the parents of kids who think biting other kids for whatever reason is legit.
try explaining things to your kid, i remember it was definitely an advantage and big help that my mom intuitively explained everything to me instead of saying " cause i said so and don't you dare do it again"
Yeah, my dad was diagnosed right after I was diagnosed.
He thought that a lot of my responses seemed "familiar".
Girl, samee. Initially my mom was like "I don't think you are autistic, I do those things too". Eventually she came to realize that she herself is possibly in the spectrum
@@sugarmayo5333that's what my husband did, too. He was one of those people who say "everyone does that, I do that".
Yes🎉🎉🎉😂
@@sugarmayo5333Lmao congrats! Where's that one comic of the woman's mom saying "you're not gay, I wanted to get with women too but I got over it!"
@@sugarmayo5333imma be honest I wish I had another family member who also had autism, but I’m one of those people who was born with the autism gene that has, NO ONE ELSE that has the gene, IN THEM😭UNLESS ITS MY BROTHER HE ACTS LIKE ME A LOT BUT IDK-
It is hilarious to me when neurotypicals insist autistic people have low empathy and don't understand humor meanwhile the comments section on these posts are HILARIOUS and we clearly empathize with each other and relate over this nonsense lmao
(Obvs some generalizations here, ymmv)
That pregnancy helped you realise your autistic, because you didn't have the energy to mask, resonated a lot with me. The point at which I connected all the dots was when I became chronically ill, because like you, I just did not have any shred of energy left to keep on pushing through.
Yes. This. Exactly this.
I told someone I'm diagnosed with aspergers and he replied (in an attempt to be supportive) "oh you know, everyone would be diagnosed with something if they just went to get checked!" and my instant response was to take it literally and so I replied along the lines of "no that would mean the medical system is flawed and not serving it's function". It's been YEARS and I only just recently realized people don't actually mean it literally and are essentially trying to say "everyone has their quirks and that's ok" and they don't literally think "everyone would get diagnosed"... I both feel stupid and like I cracked some secret code and levelled up.
They're trying to downplay the autism because they think it's a negative trait.
How is that supposed to mean “we all have our quirks 🥰”???? What even is the neurotypical communication??? I sometimes wonder if neurotypicals speak the same language.(sorry for coming off aggressive, don’t mean it, just dont know how to express it differently)
My oldest son was diagnosed Autistic, and as the doctor was describing the whole checklist, my wife said "Yeah, you just described my husband." So I got tested, as a 31 yr old adult, and I was diagnosed too.
Worse than your favorite product being discontinued, is that when they subtlety change the design so you don't know until it's too late
HOW DARE THEY
I hate it so much!!!
Or change the recipe, even slightly, and it’s just not the same thing at all any more.
@@ShintogaDeathAngel i hate when this happens :(
Or worse, the ingredients, so you are suddenly allergic to it. :/
I am just starting the video but I have to say you have perfected the "WTF" face for your thumbnails 😂
😂😂😂 thank you, Claire! It's so awkward to do!
Now, ive been told by family that if i ever decide to get tubes tied or hysterectomy or whatever- that if im up front about my autism and frame it as 'i dont want to pass this to the next generation' that a doctor would be less likely to refuse to do it even if im still in my 20s, because thats an issue people have when seeking out permanent birth control.
Always felt kinda eugenics-y, throwing around a condition in that context, but i do feel the sentiment. I have a lot of health issues that i would not want a hypothetical child that i would presumably love and care about to have to go through their life struggling with the way ive struggled.
It’s so stupid, ugh!
I feel this. I don't want to force anyone to have to live the life I've lived. From the outside it looks like I had an easy life. 38 and living with my parents still. I spend money on Lego and video games. But literally if I didn't have my hobbies I'd crack. I would just give up and let myself starve to death or something. Because all my life has been a stupid pointless battle. I have to battle to be understood and heard and loved as myself. I have to fight every manager for just an ounce of respect. I'm sick and tired of being told I can only do things and life in a way that will be harder and more miserable for me. I'm tired of jobs setting me up for failure and then being mad at me.
My childhood was horrible and I was depressed all the time at such a young age. And my parents were burnt out and sucked at taking care of us. We didn't get a normal kid experience. We got the undiagnosed disfunctional family experience. And so I just don't want to do that to someone else. I don't want to tell a kid we can't do anything fun because mommy is gonna have a meltdown and ruin it for everyone or accidentally scream at you and cause you trauma.
Our civilization is eugentics-y unfortunately. I wouldn't want to make a kid because the civilization will kick them for not being "normal" enough, whether autistic or not. The demands and environment we live in today are intolerant of living in ways that don't comply.
@@megzasaurusrexi can relate
Aye. I have the hEDS/AuDHD combo and whoo boy, I could not in good conscience make a person who would have to deal with this.
Like, of course it’s not bad for us to exist. But it can be a bad experience.
And any child I made could have an even worse expression of symptoms, and an even worse quality of life.
Some of it is societal, sure, but not all. No level of social acceptance or accommodation is going to make the physical pain, gut motility, executive functioning issues, etc… go away. They can be exacerbated by the stress and anxiety and all. I can wear sunglasses and hats, and it can help, but no one can turn down the discomfort of the sun. It’s still painful and oppressive to be in most of the time.
If I knowingly inflicted my conditions, potentially more severe even, on an innocent child who has no say in the matter just because - I want to have a child - how horrible that would be of me.
My mother didn’t know.
Now we do.
And besides, I can’t even really manage to take care of myself 😂
Even if I could recover to my best level of functioning, there’s plenty of kids already born who need homes. Many with complicated mental/physical health issues.
Yeah, I’m going to choose to make another person exist with my ish while leaving others to just age out of the foster system.
I get that they’re concerned about people who have a higher risk for being abused/taken advantage of/etc… being coerced into getting sterilized for eugenics reasons.
But they are also then, just like women in general, doing the external reproductive coercion/control themselves. 🤦🏼♀️
I don’t want to pass on my conditions.
Eugenics might endorse that because they want less people like me to exist in society, if any.
I’m saying that because I care enough about the hypothetical child to not knowingly force them to exist. Like, if I can only have a kid if it would mean breaking their legs, maaaayybe I could just…not have a child. Like, it doesn’t mean I or someone coercing me thinks that children who can’t walk shouldn’t exist. It means I think that it would be pretty f***ed up to do that to a kid if I can avoid it.
Even if my symptoms weren’t as rough, the kid might not be as lucky.
For my situation, being a good and responsible parent means not being a parent.
I don’t hate kids. I babysat. I’ve even worked with kids of all ages as a mentor/tutor. I was even particularly good at working with high schoolers the teachers had more or less given up on.
But I don’t have as much functionality, now, and the stress of just trying to be employed, generally, just kinda yeeted me into severe burnout, skill regression, and hastened the progression of my symptoms/conditions.
But I also vowed as a teenager in the mid 2000’s that I wouldn’t have kids, no matter how much I might want to later. I had of course heard, “Oh, just wait, you’ll change your mind. Biological clock starts ticking…” I was, in fact, kind of horrified that people would think my only reason for saying I wouldn’t have kids was because of my own wants. And that they fully expected me to change my mind once I had matured and transitioned to adulthood (I’m 33, if the clock hasn’t started ticking by now… 😂). If ‘I want a baby’ was the primary reason for that, I don’t think I ought to. That’s a whole-a$$ person! Their life is in your hands. Once you have a kid, that’s your responsibility. That’s what your life is about, now, is raising and preparing a human being so they can be as happy, healthy, and functional of an adult in society as possible. It’s an impossible job, often thankless work, and the most important job most people will ever do. ‘Wanting a baby,’ is not the same as wanting to be a parent and be responsible for their development and future. Wanting a little baby, or wanting to ‘carry on one’s legacy’ always struck me as alarmingly self-serving reasons to make a person. Years before my health took a nosedive, or I even knew about my conditions just an odd cluster of seemingly unrelated symptoms and ‘awkwardness’ 😂). Because I had learned enough about the world, population and resource pressures, how people mostly only want to adopt infants, and such. Because I took to heart that ‘we do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we are only borrowing it from our children.’
Now *this* ?! * gestures vaguely at self *
Lol, no.
Yup, clearly I don’t actually have sound reasoning. If it’s not in deference to a hypothetical future husband that might want to coerce me into having children when a condition of mine for marriage would be not having kids it’s out of fear someone is coercing me to get fixed because eugenics. Which is funny, because my heritable conditions preclude me from donating my eggs. But, I’m sure there’s no contradictions there 🙄
I suppose I should have known. After all, I have a uterus. And as I once heard articulated, “a woman’s place is in the wrong.’
Regarding pregnancy "taking problems away", my mom would definitely beg to differ. Her pregnancy with me triggered an autoimmune condition, and that's apparently not rare...also, a staggering amount of women still die due to pregnancy complications (at least, in the US), so...
For most women, autoimmune problems will go away during pregnancy, but come back afterwards (which might make it more noticeable afterwards because you are comparing it to when it was gone).
It's possible that the immune dampening of pregnancy might trigger an autoimmune disorder, particularly after pregnancy ends.
Getting pregnant is a technique some women with severe autoimmune disorders use to manage it.
My best friend was violently sick during her entire pregnancy and could hardly leave her bed. I used to send her electrolyte popsicles and drinks all the time, I was so worried about her. Now she has high blood pressure and problems with her feet, digestive system, and bladder.
My mom developed dangerously high blood pressure.
Both my SIL’s mental health declined; one developed psychosis, the other developed major depression and became aggressive and paranoid.
And this isn’t even mentioning the awful things that can happen during birth. People take the idea of childbirth way too lightly.
Some things may temporarily stop during pregnancy, but only temporarily. We can’t be pregnant forever lol. That’s not a proper medical treatment.
Connective tissue disorders and inflammatory conditions tend to get worse
I just gotta say, as a man, my experience of growing up undiagnosed feels very similar to what a lot of women describe. I was always high masking and my special interests were mainly music and art related, though I did like science a lot too. For a while I suspected I was autistic but it wasn't until I heard some women tell their experiences that I was convinced I was. I remember recently watching your burnout video and thinking "wow this is me."
Yeah from what I’ve heard There are male traits and female traits of autism but some autistic men have “female” autism traits and some autistic women have “male” autism traits.
@@Sonicfan-cc1te that's why it's a spectrum, I guess.
@@Sonicfan-cc1te It's not that there is a "male autism" and "female autism". The differences are due to male and female socialization, they aren't related to the autism itself. Which is why there are exceptions.
I mean I'm basically self-diagnosed. I hope I'm not stealing any diagnosis from 8-year-old boys who like trains
I am officially diagnosed since 9, my symptoms align with boy symptoms more because I was never taught masking... My dad is very obviously autistic and my mom very obviously has ADHD so that played a big part in me just not even bothering to fit in...
But I suppose that makes me transgender male cause female autism is "made up" 😂
I am a woman and I don't mask much but I still don't have the male form of autism. I think I have half of the male form and half of the female form. Researcher Sarah Hendrickx (who is autistic herself) has some videos on the differences. It is more than masking.
@@adish1401I like your channel redirect thing and your art is really cool looking!
A man is called a manchild when his partner has to act like his mommy, not when he buys a plushie.
Things that men are into are not seen as "childish" by society, but think about stuff like baseball or "car toys" etc. Adult men who are (still) really into baseball or cars could also be seen as appealing to their inner child. So it's the issue of women being infantilized in general I think
Yes🎉🎉🎉😮
Not to mention Legos and model trains. Men's interests are just generally seen as more legitimate
Sigh, some of you really seem to try to make EVERYTHING a gendered issue, it seems. As a guy on the spectrum who still likes many "childish" hobbies and entertainment (gaming, cartoons, etc) we are absolutely judged harshly for such things too. I'm not sure where you got the idea that isn't the case.
Also, if you watched the video, she even points out how, in some cases, women are even allotted more breathing room on this topic as most people don't bat an eye at them collecting stuffed animals (as just one example).
In other words, let's not turn everything into a pointless "us against them" p*ssing contest, please.
@@qryptid Lol, that is demonstrably nonsense.
@@MoonsideResidentThat's because games and cartoons aren't considered men's hobbies, they're "children's hobbies". Even men who are into any of those get ridiculed. And nobody is saying that men always have it better every time and never suffer. But there is definitely a gendered issue where "typical" women's hobbies are seen as lesser than "typical" men's hobbies.
"There can only be one!" is a reference to Highlander. Immortals fought each other and could only be killed by having their head chopped off, the victor absorbing their essence in the process.
Yep. I was going to make a comment about Highlander right before she read that reply, and then I was gonna come explain it, but you got here first.
Yep. I was going to make a comment about Highlander right before she read that reply, and then I was gonna come explain it, but you got here first.
@@emisformaker heh, see, and I _did_ make (or rather, write) a comment myself, but then right before hitting submit, it occurred to me to look. So, Neko wins... I guess there can be only one? ;)
But here's what I wrote, just because:
8:53/8:58 - their head. It's a reference to a film called Highlander, in which there's a set of generally-speaking-immortal people who, for whatever reason, have (by some cosmic necessity or something, I don't remember how it's justified) to basically battle each other to the death-by-decapitation, with the mandate that "there can be only one" (to ultimately survive this set of battles).
@@DavidLindes I think it was a god thing? Or close enough to it. Something something curse?
All I remember with any detail is Queen did Princes of the Universe and that was the TV series opening and I was sad it wasn't a rock opera by Queen.
@@neoqwerty Yeah, something something curse something sounds about right. :D
Also, I trust you're familiar with A Kind of Magic? That album ties closely to Highlander, as I understand things.
Fighting for that top Autism spot
Make sure to always stay up to date on your vaccinations, I've heard they make autistics more powerful!
Mom said it's my turn with the autism
Kinda sucks that so many of us are type A 😂 this fight will go on forever
@@Spooki_Tanuki Nah I'm a B type. I'm the wild card
@@VoobleboobleNO*GETS VIOLENT*
4:28 BTW guys the word ur looking for is apothysexual, or sex-repulsed. Apothysexual is ace and sex-repulsed. Sex-repulsed is adversion to sex, or, sexual things cause repulsion and beyond just having no desire.
Neither are a religious thing btw, Ik ppl get that mixed up too, that's a whole different term for when it's just a purposeful action and not to do with attraction or feeling.
thank uuuuuu
I’m new to menopause and yes to the amplification of Autism, but in reality I think I just lost the extra energy to mask it.
Unmask and just go for it... unless work, society, your circles make that not possible 🙂🙃
People who say that autism causes infertility may have misunderstood the book “How to be ace” by Rebecca Burgess as she is both autistic and asexual. They might assume that because she is autistic she can’t have kids and therefore is asexual, however autism is not a choice and has nothing to do with your sexual orientation
Asexuality isn't a choice either?
@@nonyanae2 It never was .Sexual orientation is never a choice. I know non-autistic people that are ace.
@@fieryrebirth I know. I was being incredulous at the fact that they specifically stated that autism isn't a choice implying asexuality is.
Lol neither autism or asexuality is a choice.
Nobody’s sexual orientation or neurological makeup is a choice.
I grew up thinking of autism as a "girl thing" because every autistic person I knew (myself, two of my three sisters, my best friend, her cousin/friend) is female. I'm still baffled by the idea that some think autistic girls don't exist, I actually was surprised when I was little that boys with autism exist. What I find frustrating though is that a lot of people think autism is obvious and visible, in some cases it might be, but it isn't always. Both my best friend and I are autistic, but very few people have guessed her to be while some have picked up on it from me. Neither of us fit the stereotypes that the people who think "real autism" is those infamous viral social media posts try to impose upon us.
I don't know about autism in particular (I have traits of but no diagnosis) but I KNOW that having children made my ADHD (diagnosed back when it was ADD) much worse. I don't know if it was just the increased load of executive function required to manage a family, the increased amount of stimulation, decreased sleep, or all three combined but, I was coasting along nice and functional and now i'm definitely struggling.
I could imagine that the struggles most people have when having a child kinda both amplify and get amplified by ADHD.
Research is also looking at links between ADHD and hormones like oestrogen / progesterone so that may very well factor into it! Some people find their symptoms vary throughout the menstrual cycle, during pregnancy, and during menopause etc.
My favorite socks are the ones my aunt knits. They are so fluffy and so colorful. It's just perfect. It's like my autism is happy to feel the same sock every day and my ADHD is happy to see a different sock every day. 🤣 ...okay, I really just realized that. It's also the same with my shirts. Only a few brands but ALL TEH COLORS AND PRINTS! /overshare
I knit my own socks and...yes.
Hand knit socks don't have that awful seam on the toes.
Huge relate! I want the clothes to feel the perfect way but it has to be fun and interesting too. Tho in your case it's also extra special because they're handmade by someone who cares about you which is extra lovely ❤
If 5:24 is a real comment youve gotten i think THAT might be one of the scariest "not how autism works" things in this video. Just openly and bluntly dehumanizing their own sister online just to... what, make personal assumptions about a person they dont know??
If you have to see comments like that frequently, thats horrible.
Maybe a nice comment can help offset it, so...
Youre a great person and really help give important reeducation about the truth about autistic people, thank you so much
"Women having babies past 40 is why we have autism." Ah yes because every mother of a person on the spectrum was in their 40s before having their child.
That is so stupid 😂
Unless my mum has been lying to me my whole life, she was in her early 20s when she had me and my twin sister 😂
My mind gets so boggled by some of the things people say, but also I need more of this kind of video ❤️
How high on the spectrum are you? and how high are you today? are two very different questions 😂❤
My mom was 19 lol.
There may a bit of a link between older parents and Autism but like, im pretty sure that the correlation is still smaller than say.... having Autism in the family.
Also its telling that the mother gets "blamed" when there are several studies saying its mainly the fathers age that effect it
They are thinking of Down Syndrome, and even young mothers can still end up with a Down Syndrome baby.
My mum was 19 when she had me lol (she is also autistic) meanwhile my dad was in his late 30s
I think they’re mistaking autism and Downs Syndrome
@@teawitchedmom was 28 for me :) and my two younger sisters arent lol
8:59 I believe that is a “Highlander” reference. It’s a movie about people around the world who find out they are special because they cannot die. They can only be killed if another one of them chops off their head with a sword. And then the “winner” receives all their powers. All that goes on until there is only one of them left. (“There can be only one” is the tag line of the movie.)
Incidentally, the Highlander, the protagonist, is also somewhat autistically coded: prefers to be alone, isolated from society, mostly just practicing his sword fighting, and masking who he really is when in social settings.
The person saying that autism is caused by maternal age angered me. My mom had me at 28, which some people consider a little older than normal to have a kid these days. When she worked in a special education classroom, she had a student with high support needs and a very young mom. I'm not sure how old she was, but she was young for having a kid in elementary school. And not to mention all of the young moms on tiktok I always see who have autistic children, many of them are presented as high support needs.
My mom was 29 and 34 with us kids, and dad is two years her senior, so neither of them were exceptionally old to be having kids. Both of us are on the spectrum, probably inherited through dad (never diagnosed but I recognise my own kind pretty well).
As for socks, I actually dislike bamboo socks because they are so smooth that they tend to slide off my foot and bunch up under my ankles, which I find maddening on a sensory level. I prefer close fitting cotton socks; same breathable advantage but 'coarser' material? It's more likely to stay put. I like cotton anyway, but nothing beats my unholy love of linen clothing. I just adore linen, the way it looks, the way it feels; if I'm thrifting and I recognise the fabric in between all the hundreds of garments pressed together on the rack, I must try it on, regardless of color, design or even size.
@@Annique If there's one thing I've learned from historical fashion UA-cam, it's that linen is the Superior Fabric. (Natural fiber in general but especially linen)
28 is old??? My mom had me at 39/40…
@@reinarosario1084 28/in ur thirties is actually a better time to have kids than in ur early twenties actually (I've heard, don't quote me)
My parents were early 20s when they had me, and I’m the oldest of 5.
ALL of us are on the spectrum
I love that a man thought the concept of only men having neurological issues was a flex.
Historically, people are combative when I know stuff 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Yeah . . .
Yep, people love to twist things too to make you look dumb when that's not what you said...
@@claireswaine5774 I think society has a pretty large and internationally extensive cognitive dissonance problem, people seem so afraid to accept the reality in front of them. More content to play pretend even if that causes a fight or shames someone
@anthapersephone7311 yes and it would be funny if it weren't sad that most people don't even know what Cognitive dissonance is, let alone that they experience it. Many NTs also seem unable to recognise that opposing things can be true at the same time and that they hold conflicting views/ double standards without being able to see that is what they are.... Thought I was supposed to be the one with Cognitive dysfunctions lol
It's somehow both for me... People are shocked when I know stuff but at the same time don't believe me and start arguing.. or are mansplaining concepts to me that I told them word for word like they did... it's like having a parrot who gaslights you.
Polly want's a cracker?
Polly: NO! I said I want a cracker!
Tha'ts what I asked...
Polly: NO you DIDN'T, I said I want a cracker!
But with grown adults...
"You lose your autistim" 😂
"Dangit! Now I know I just had it, where did I set it down?"
Neurotypical: "Hey, are you still autistic?"
Autistic: "Yes. Are you still a virgin?"
NT: 😡
@@emisformaker LOL!
@@sebswede9005LMAOOOO YESSSS
@@emisformaker yep, my ADHD makes me lose things just after I put them down. I knew I felt less weird lately so that must be why! 😂
My autism made me hyperfeminine but with masculine interests (computers, STEM, video games, metal) so when people tried the "you're not like other girls" crap on me, I'd feel so awkward. I was a little lesbian teenager that wore 10 layers of makeup and spent 1 hour on doing my hair in the morning.
people on reddit are insane anyway, i wouldnt step foot in there even with a hazmat suit on 😂😂
Totally agree!
TikTok is worse than reddit
@@Catlily5are you gatekeeping a site being bad?
I diagnosed myself after I had a child too 😂. I also only wanted one child, especially because the pregnancy was not easy for me.
I was an addict, but I couldn’t pay with money because I didn’t have a job, so I paid with my body. Oh yeah and I was 14 and he was 25. So I was basically being rewarded for giving him my body. I agree with you that this is disgusting, even as someone who isn’t asexual. And with my age and his age it just makes it 10x worse. The amount of trauma I have because of this man is just horrifying. I’m now 2.5 years sober and haven’t seen this man since I got sober! But you are right, giving someone something in response to them giving you their body is horrible and predatory behavior.
You are still partially responsible for your own decisions even at 14.
@@deleted01 Perhaps, but you cannot take back the bad decisions you made either. All you can do is try to make better decisions, day by day, going forward.
@@deleted01 Dude wtf
@@deleted01 so? It doesn’t change the fact that giving someone something in exchange for their body is horrible and predatory. Also doesn’t change the fact that this was a 25 year old preying on a 14 year old. When I was 14 I had so much trauma and was so mentally ill that I had decided to end it all before I turned 15. That is why I became an addict, because I didn’t plan on staying in this world. And it is not legal to work at 14 where I live, so I really didn’t have a way to pay him. Even then, I would have turned down his offer to let me pay with my body if he hadn’t roofied me first. He had already taken my body without my consent. If you don’t find that disgusting then idk what to tell you.
@@deleted01nope, a 25 yr old having sex with a 14 yr old counts as statutory rape. Even if the 14 yr old thought they wanted it, it still counts as rape since its sex with a minor. Even if tge 14 yr old chose to take drugs to which they later became addicted. Still rape.
I’m going to have an entire line of clothing and accessories made, branded as “sparkling awkwardness”… ❤❤
The two sides of one circle guy sounded like the early days of LLMs. Like, these words sound like they SHOULD mean something but the longer you look, the less meaning you can squeeze out of it.
How high am I today? Not high enough to climb my spectrum ladder ma'am
I struggle with people pleasing. I gained this thought process young long before diagnosis. My need to people please has really put me in many regrettable situations.
As I climb the ladder, life pours down metaphorical Nickelodeon slime; I lose grip and fall flat on my arse.
A bit like Sisyphus, but neurotypical white guys on tiktok would bully me instead of making me a trend 😩
So I'm a POTS person also. I had an awesome cardiologist who said he'd had many cases where a pregnancy "reset the autonomic system," and the POTS was sometimes gone or much improved. He said it was a possibility, but not a probability. My grandmother stopped fainting after she had her first child, but later in her life I saw other ANS symptoms come back (so it was minimized but not gone. If this doesn't happen with autism people, the root of the theory may be because of the ANS connection between POTS/dysautonomia/autism.
Some people get POTS after pregnancy. Interesting it could go both ways.
@@Catlily5 It makes sense, because there's some kind of "reset." So, it can go either way, or not at all.
The pregnancy cure-all thing drives me up the wall! After I had one of my kids I had the MWAs trying to stop me having my crutches because "baby has been born now, you don't need them" but I'd had them for 2.5 years after struggling for about the same before that! Equally I used to get told all the time "you're pregnant not disabled"! Because of course you can't be both, can you? I started having dramatic falls during pregnancy 20 years ago, 15 years ago I started using crutches and three years ago I started using a wheelchair.
I have met so many women who where taught and thought it was "Normal" to use sex to control men, it's abuse (irregardless of gender) thank you so much for pointing this out!!!!
Also when she said “if someone does something for you, regardless of how nice, you don’t owe them anything” I know it’s daft but I needed to hear that 🙈 sometimes “thank you” doesn’t feel like enough 😅
Sorry, are you implying men are the victims when they expect sexual favors in exchange for gifts? Confused about what you’re referring to
@@intrusive-th0tno in this case the men would (losely) be the abusers, but she is saying that the whole notion of seeing sex as an exchange for something is kinda bad no matter what side is using it for what, which also by extension means that women using sex for their own advantage f.e. withholding it is also bad
@@GrungeGalactica It's only true if you didn't know they were expecting a fair exchange. You can't keep accepting favours from people and then say to yourself, "I owe them nothing because I never promised to reciprocate."
@@deusex9731 I agree as long as no one is expected to put out.
It's okay to have like fetishes or kinks that are completely communicated between partners and understood. However, if you're just straight up manipulating somebody, that's absolutely obviously quite dangerous
18:05 I also hate it whenever my autism isn't accepted as a part of me (which luckily rarely happens) and instead handled like an illness. Because it simply is not.
And to the comment after that, I am really bad at social interactions and unfortunately regularly "collide" with other people because I either miss their subtle signals or unknowingly send the wrong ones myself. And I'm pretty direct in what I say, so no elegant, soft talking from me. And unfortunately I sometimes fail to express myself correctly and cause unnecessary miscommunication…
Then when you try to clarify you're speaking a different language they demand you simply speak their language. But if you can't, that's an intentional decision to be bad.
@@hayuseen6683
The problem with that analogy is that I absolutely can learn new languages (in fact, I'm currently in the process of learning Japanese), but I can't just train away my autism. I can learn to live with it and how to work around some of my weaknesses, but I can't get rid of them completely.
@@Lampe2020 No problem with the analogy, that isn't part of the analogy. Analogies are just to relate something analogous, not be a match in other elements. Replace dialect with language if you prefer.
And NTs can learn to understand literal speech, so the point about being able to learn language isn't that off, but subtext isn't said - so you can't learn an unspoken language. Except ASL, if you want to poke the analogy.
_"I also hate it whenever my autism isn't accepted as a part of me (which luckily rarely happens) and instead handled like an illness. Because it simply is not."_
This. Very much this. This is why I hate the "person first" wording that is pushed by some people. I'm not a "person with autism", I'm an AUTIST. Address me correctly, neurotypicals.
Im autistic and more emotional, so all these people making videos about how logical autistic peoples are tend to be really confusing to me. My brain does operate on a bit of machine logic, preferring to execute my processes in order and focus on single tasks rather than juggling tons of them.
I was labeled an attention seeker as a child rather than being screened for any developmental disabilities. Interestingly my father was labeled mentally retarded instead of autistic back in the 70s because of a learning difficulty, so there's a good chance it runs in the family.
Edit: sorry if I'm off topic a bit, I just thought of this stuff when you made the comment about stereotypical autism.
I am both more emotional and more logical than most people. High emotions make it harder to be logical but when I calm down I am extremely logical. I am not highly emotional all the time.
I found out I was autistic right after having my baby. Pregnancy was uncomfortable but I was so hyperfixated on nesting that I was accommodating myself so well and keeping my life so stress-free and slowly preparing that pregnancy was weirdly one of the healthiest times of my life (after the morning sickness ended.) Even the first 6 months of my child's life were laid back and structured and calm. Around 6-9 months he started doing so much more and needed more from me sensorily and socially and that's when we finally figured it out.
The one about women having babies past 40 is WILD. I had my son at 23 and he is low support needs autistic. And I only found out that I was autistic AFTER my son got diagnosed….
Actually the older age of the father is much more tied to autism.
@@Catlily5 Do you have sources for this claim?
@@odiechan I went to a talk hosted by the medical college about it in 2018 or 2019. I don't remember which studies they quoted.
But here is an interesting article.
Spectrum | Autism Research News: The link between parental age and autism explained.
Meg, you're a much needed sharp thinker indeed!
Menopause is different for everyone. Me no need for estrogen but before I came that far I needed progesterone. One type made me crazy but the other was OK. After I stopped menstruating I didnt need that anymore and as it looks now, I have no other menopause symptoms. No sweats, no mood changes. I feel more stable. And not having a period is so nice, you can plan whatever and just go away or whatnot.
I'm autistic and this one person hits me up every once in a while with a degredation kink, and likes to be shamed for being autistic, so I do it for her. So I don't think fetishizing it is that horrible, if you aren't alistic, but the wanting them to be ace and wanting them to do sex acts, that they wouldn't enjoy and normally wouldn't consent to seems SUPPPEERR predatory.
I mean, big diff between consensual kink (even if it includes a fetish) and nonconsensual fetishization.
Lots of people have various types of humiliation/degredation kinks they explore consensually with a partner they trust, and all the appropriate guardrails in place.
But, non consensual fetishization is completely gross.
Right, when people get gatekeepy about lower and higher support needs, it makes me think of visual impairment, which, like MANY disabilities, is a spectrum, you have those that just need glasses, maybe even some who only need glasses when reading/driving, then you have those that are blind, and they might be completely blind and see literally nothing (incredibly rare) or they'll have varying amounts of light and colour that they might be able to see, and you don't see blind people moaning at people who aren't blind, complaining about how they're getting glasses and getting their support needs met. Like it just all baffles me how people can get mad. Like I get maybe the argument for whether it should always be classed as a disability if maybe the severity is really really low, but it doesn't mean that you still wouldn't need help or that you shouldn't receive help, just like how people who don't have to wear glasses all the time will still need them while driving.
Yeah, i require 24/7 caregiving but i get autism warrior moms telling me i cannot be autistic or high needs since i can type on the internet 🤦♀️
Great analogy!
Any other autistic women here, who allways get misaged a LOT younger than you are?
Yes. I'm in my 40s and get carded (mistaken for 25 or younger). I also get offered student discounts.
All the time.
Wow, it really seems to be a wierd thing often co-ocuring with autism. Is it related somehow?
Profesionally it is super awkward and anoying when people treat you like a teen worker/intern and you are 30+. I even try to wear serious work clothes, and skinny pants that ought to give away my age 🤷♀️
@@jo45 Sometimes it's related to comorbid Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Once that's ruled out, I have no idea.
Isn't that a compliment for women? Most (NT) hate being 30+ because that's when they lose their beauty. They also like to lie about their age a lot.
As a man, I do not get comments of that kind ever, but I have reason to believe that I might appear younger than I am...which is kinda not a good thing in this society but who cares, it's not the worst thing to still have a little youth left in my old ass body.
That first story reminded me of when my sister was having a lot of medical issues and the doctor straight up told her he didn't know what was wring with her, but he had a patient before with all the same symptoms and they went away after she got pregnant. Like Sir WHAT
Everyone is an expert now, everybody is a historian
Well, when the experts are priests, the historians are mythologists and Science is a new religion... What are we to do?
@@livenotbylies..... What??
@@BarbieDreamDungeon
Priests are authorities of acceptable beliefs - actual experts are just knowledgeable
Mythologists (I am misusing the word a little, "mythmakers" maybe) tell the stories that support the shared fantasy of a culture, historians just know a lot about the past
A culture's religion is the view of the world that holds the society together, "science" was supposed to be a commitment to submit ourselves to objective measurements
@@livenotbylies I feel like I'm having a stroke what the fuck are you saying
Meg, I wanna say that I appreciate how open you are about your own experiences with things like relationships, breastfeeding, etc. It’s really helpful to know that so many autistic women actually have similar experiences and I think we need to talk about it more in the community
14:08 My autistic boyfriend actually does walk around wearing just one sock when he doesn't have shoes on! He says it's more comfortable than two.
REAL
I don’t were socks💀at least with uggs crocks and slipp on
My mom has a PhD in psychology, but she doesn’t know shit about Autism. She got her PhD in the 80s and I’ve noticed her using “ everybody is a little autistic” , bombarding me with tasks when I’m hyper focused on one, steering conversations into meaninglessness and then complaining they’re going on for too long, withholding control of my inheritance from my grandfather even though I have never showed a lack of responsibility with money specifically and especially in that area, moving the goalposts.
Yup, mental health professionals don't necessarily know much about autism. Most don't where I live.
After the first post, I was gonna mention endometriosis!! I never had a doctor say that to me directly, but my therapist shared with me that my care team and a few other people met behind the scenes when I was in the process of getting approved for a hysterectomy, and a doctor there that had ever met me really did say I should try getting pregnant! 🙃🙄
That's insane cuz my doctor told me that my 3 c sections made my endo much worse and they did not suggest pregnancy at all lol
Thankfully I do not have the required biology to risk having endometriosis, and yet I have seen a couple gals I knew be treated in a way I would call downright criminal about their endometriosis. What _IS_ the deal with health care providers in this country?????
18:18 being outgoing and hyper friendly actually can paradoxically be a symptom of autism.
That is me and I am diagnosed with autism.
I'm pretty sure I slipped through the cracks because I learned how to talk really early at 8 months old. I was already speaking in full sentences, and I haven't stopped talking since (until internalized shame built up). In the early 2000s when I was first tested at 6 years old, I'm pretty sure the common consensus was autism meant mostly non verbal.
Yes and no. "Autism" was associated with language delay, but "Aspergers" had pretty much the same symptom list without language delay, so lack of language delay would be the reason you weren't diagnosed with a condition called "Autism", but it doesn't explain why they failed to make *a* diagnosis
@@JonBrase They literally told my mother that I couldn't possibly have autism or aspergers because I articulated my speech so well. I was tested by my school district, and from what I've been told by the psychologist who diagnosed me at 21, they're notoriously bad at diagnosing properly, especially at that time. Also, it's really weird that you put aspergers and autism into quotations.
@@ingridc0ld I put them in quotes to distinguish them from the modern term Autism which covers both.
As for "can't have autism *or Aspergers* b/c no language delay", all I can say is "🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️".
"No language delay" was *literally* the main distinction between "Autism" and "Aspergers" in the diagnostic criteria at the time. What were they smoking?
@@ingridc0ldoh same here 😅 i didnt get diagnosed until the ripe age of 26 bc i spoke and walked before 8 months
7:14 😂 I'm picturing a Karen furiously trying to return an Autism due to a sale that just started.
Or trying for a reduced price lol
My favorite is trying to turn a spectrum into a binary of high/low.
Not pretending I figured it out... but, what if higher occurrence of autism in children born to older parents has nothing to do with the parents themselves being older, but the fact that they had children at an older age is because of the parents themselves being autistic? Given heredity...and the prevalence of late diagnosis.
That could be so. Autistic people can be late bloomers when it comes to romance.
On another note, the father being older is much more tied to an increase in autism than the mother being older.
“One of these things where most people think they know a lot more about something than they do” = the Dunning Kruger effect. It’s fascinating and horrifying, but explains SO much.
8:55 it’s a Highlander reference as in the film you need to cut off an immortals head to gain their power & after the last there is only 1
10:50 that's pepe, (people) a mascot of 4chan (that's where it originated) usually used to make a political statement or for trolling purposes.
Yeah, I call them "pepe the racist frogs". But they don't limit themselves to racism
11:19 this face, this is the exact face I was pulling as you read that
The person with the comment about “my sister has Autism because she has no emotions” That could be something else too. Like Psychopathic behavior sort of. No remorse and such. But they literally called it a SPECTRUM. And then tried to box the entire thing. 😂
Meg, my ASC pin made it across the pond. Thank you!
Yay!!! Thank YOU! 💛
When you're autistic and get pregnant your autism flows into your child, when you give birth your autism leaves your body and is transferred to your kid (sarcastic).
I can't think of anyone that reminds me of you for you to cosplay... but all I can think of is Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob because that's all I've been watching lately and I think it would be really funny to see you try and do a squirrel's country accent (I'm american lol)
Meg should cosplay as Deanna Troi, she's already got an English accent and a husband with a beard. All she needs is a Starfleet uniform and she's golden.
For my entire childhood, I only wore one kind of sock because i hated the feel of elastic on my ankles.
Does having children at an older age make you more likely to have an autistic child, or does you being autistic make you likely to have your children at an older age and then pass it on to them?
Good point!
It doesn't, they're confusing it with Down's syndrome.
wow i am the earliest i’ve ever been lol. thank you so much making videos! your channel has really helped me and i’m now in the process of getting diagnosed!
Its really gross to fetish autism in girls and be like "i want an aspie gf" and then point out that you want to ABUSE her:
"Asxeual - will do sexual favors in exchange of toys/games" that right there, is abuse, asking for sexual FAVORS in EXCHANGE for toys or games are disgusting and I'm only so passionate because a lot of my previous relationships where like that..
In my case I was given things, and then expected to show my thanks by doing them a "Favor", and yes this happened in almost all of my relationships.. It broke me real bad, i often feel guilt and pressure when there is none, i don't like to get gifts, i rather want to buy things myself.. I have an amazing partner now that knows, and he has really helped me getting though it.
yes that one was really gross. they took it right out of a child predator's playbook. so gross. i'm sorry you had to be subjected to this abuse.
What you describe about your own experiences sounds more like unsolicited "gifts" which were then leveraged to try and manipulate you. Which is despicable, of course. No matter what they wanted in exchange, a gift with strings attached isn't a gift, it's a tool for manipulation.
But there needs to be a distinction here.
Manipulating someone who, say, cannot find employment because of stupid neurotypical HR departments rejecting them for being autistic, exploiting their weakness/poverty and lack of access to luxury goods on their own, to force them what essentially amounts to mostly-unwilling prostitution? Yeah, that's despicable. As is just general manipulation with false gifts given first, then "services" demanded after the fact.
But if it's a mutually acceptable exchange of goods and services, with no emotional manipulation or exploitation, with the other person having a job so they could buy toys or whatever else they desire on their own, then what exactly is wrong with that? I mean, yes, if the person rendering services feels gross about it, then that's clearly not a healthy relationship, but if they have access to things they want on their own then it's their fault for accepting the deal. Should still disassociate from the other person though, if they realize that there's unhappy feelings involved, because that's a lack of empathy right there.
@@theuncalledfor
What you describe in the end, receiving gifts for doing a service, is prostitution or "sugar dating", now I'm not against that at all, if anyone above the age of 18, WILLINGLY engages in trading sex for goods, i fine with that.
But that is often very clear, if it is prostitution or sugar dating. And i would go so far to say, a real relationship should not be transactional at all.
The last problem you don't really address is, yes a person could just say no when offered something they REALLY REALLY want, so they wouldn't have to trade with their body - but again people who are already very easy to manipulate have trouble doing that - this is where you can manipulate them, by GIVING them the thing they want the most, dangling it in their face, all they have to do is to let you use their body for 30 minutes, this might seem like a small price to pay in the moment, but it can become such an harmful act in the end.
So for me and many others, this is not really a thing that should happen within an established relationship, and the post that was shown in the video where showing extremely predatory behavior as it described how vulnerable and easy to manipulate the girl he wanted should be.
I shouldn't be so enthusiastic that you also have endometriosis - I'm like Hey, she's endo and tism like me then I was like ... Wait, being excited somebody else is in a lot of pain is not something to be excited about.
When I was young I kept trying to explain to my mom that I was "allergic" to some of my socks. I didn't have any other words to explain it, and she was super confused lol.
My daughter was diagnosed, but it still took me 30+ years to figure out me too! I didn't train her to mask as well as my mom taught me. My mom was a school teacher and my little eager to please brain said I must be a perfect child, so I tried to achieve that.
I'm glad my daughter has been allowed to be herself more than I was, and she has taught me some valuable lessons.
I had both my autistic babies before I was 22, so dunno about that maternal age thing. But it does run strong in my family, my dad for sure, though undiagnosed. My cousins have kids that are diagnosed.
Age of the father matters much more in autism than age of the mother.
@@Catlily5 Only a 6 year difference, we were both under 30.
@@nannywhumpers5702 Yeah, it is not a given. Just more likely if the father is older and more like 40+. You were both young so it wouldn't apply to you. My parents were both under 30 as well. It just happens more often if the father is older.
I would say my symptoms got worse after kids considering my daughter was 3 and my son 1 when I recieved my audhd diagnosis😅
I appreciate you wading through the cesspool of social media to bring us these nuggets of gold.
13:32 I’ve never cosplayed either but I would love to!!! I feel like it’s so fun but then I get overwhelmed at the thought of everything I need to do in order to create the character on me😅
Not surprised that a lot of these are specifically against female autism as if its somehow taking away from male autism, it is a known thing that a lot of autistic males have very unfortunately fallen into the manosphere.
That is very unfortunate.
Cosplay idea: Wednesday Addams. I feel like you were mostly joking when you asked for recommendations so I am just leaving this comment for the algorithm.
7:20 Envy - Contrapoints (genuinely obsessed with that essay in particular)
My pregnancy also "enhanced" my autism- visually speaking.
My endometriosis also got worse after pregnancy. Mirena has helped !
Maybe NTs would have more time to study and understand Autism if they quit assuming every adult who enjoys animation or Lego or whatever is a groomer and took to TwatteX to 'expose!!!' them.
Forgive me if this is inappropriate; it's been in my focus lately.
I wish I didn't have to give my partner sex in exchange for being treated lovingly and with kindness.
I lived like that for about 10 years and it made me suicidal every day. My ex husband finally ran off with his best friend's wife. I choose to stay alone now, and am much happier with a platonic roomate, not a lover.
Frustrating because I remember being taught that it's supposed to be the other way around, seems like that's a rare sentiment these days from what I've seen.
You don't have to. It is hard but you can stop and stay or stop by leaving.
i love how unbiased and humble you are about things, you dont act like you know more than you do and its really refreshing
The last comment about socializing brought a question to mind. I like how you covered those who may just not be as capable of socializing but knowing this has sometimes put me in an uncomfortable situation. Knowing and accept that but running into a person that isn't failing in a minor way but an extremely inappropriate way! This has almost always been followed up by using their diagnosis as an excuse. I mean the type of person who brushes off being told that was an inappropriate question to ask a co-worker in a more "Oh I can't help it. 🤷♂" vs "Oh my goodness I'm sorry I had no idea I didn't mean to."
How do you suggest approaching these situations. Or the more tame flips side where a higher functioning person is self crippling by beating on them self and saying they can't do better at say asking for clarifications because one team mate was short with them but they were honestly doing good by trying to ask!
I don't know which breaks my heart more but I'm always floored by both. I can usually work around a person beating on themself but it's a hard dance to not offend while complimenting someone on how good they are at something many play off as easy. But it is even harder to have the hard conversation of "you can't use your diagnosis to be "creepy"" without feeling iky or rude if you know what I mean.