"I dont keep secrets from you" while fully keeping secrets from her. I can promise her that inappropriate things were going on or he would not have lied. RUN GIRL.
"All the other wives knew" did it for me. He obviously deliberately left her out of the loop. Not the way to reassure your pregnant wife that all is well! Yes, she's being needy but he's being evasive. Now he's with buddies that are undoubtedly in his ear telling him she's the problem. NOT telling her about the strip club is a red flag, now this? He's digging a bigger hole. Not that she's not being clingy, but being pregnant and having your own body changing then having your SO hiding going to strip clubs would suck for her self-esteem.
Normally I would say she was hovering, but he gave her reason to not trust when he was lying and keeping things from her before. Theyve got some stuff to work out, she is NTA, maybe ESH. She has ever right to want transparency and so does he. And with a baby on the way, the stakes are high for her. Get it together in tour marriage, yall. Its time to grow up.
I caught this and Dusty did too that she wrote "go back to not trusting each other".... I think she has a bit of a reason to be so paranoid. My guess, and this is based on this line and the change, is that he's cheated on her before. And if this is true, she was already NTA, but this brings hubby to ascon 1. If there was a black hole past it, I hope he goes into it because he deserves it.
I've heard (and seen) of helicopter parents, but a helicopter spouse? He's away with friends and you need hourly "what are you doing" updates? This implies a HUGE lack of trust. Don't know if that's justified, but I consider it a bit extreme and I can understand hubby being upset by it. One or two messages per day for "good morning, what's your plans for the day" and a "good night, did you have a good day and I love you" should be more than enough. But while it would have been good if hubby answered immediately, that's not always possible. He was at least reading her texts to see if anything was urgent and just didn't immediately respond if he didn't feel it was. It's apparent there's some trust issues from past events, but I'm inclined to say NTA!
Leaning towards NTA as there seems to be trust issues on his behaviour, but it does seems like it is a communication breakdown. It doesn't sound like a healthy functioning relationship. You both need marriage counselling. If you can't communicate effectively or trust your partner, the relationship isn't going to be healthy or last. I've been married almost 20 years now in a loving and committed relationship. Trust and communication are key components to make a relationship work. John Gottman is great at helping relationships. Pick up one of his books. His work is life changing for all relationships.
She’s 20 weeks pregnant and not having any emergency (I’m pretty sure that if her health was at issue, it would have been mentioned). If my partner was pinging me repeatedly while I’m away on a planned trip, I would have gone ballistic. Having said that, there seems to be some problematic behaviors in the past. If that’s true, go to therapy and figure it out or get out before you’re raising a kid in the middle of a toxic relationship.
I agree 100% with Candy Thunder- ESH. These two are not compatible when it comes to their communication needs. She's overly needy and he's not responding.
Well, did she agree to have him go to the party in the first place? If she did not want him to go, then why is he away? If she did agree, wholeheartedly or not, did they plan out emergency scenarios? If she ends up having to constantly checking up on him, and him not delivering what she needs to feel secure, this couple has a problem with expectation setting and communicating. NTA, but they both sure are irritating.
ESH ... She needs to quit texting constantly. He's on a "boys trip" at a bachelor party. And he needs to be better understanding. AND the "it was a secret, but all the other wives already knew" ... kinda odd. You still tell your WIFE, regardless if it's a secret or not. Just saying... You shouldn't be keeping any secrets from each other. Agree... Communication needs to be MUCH better between them. She's pregnant, yes... but feels like there's more to this story than just her side and this ONE moment that happened that has been posted about.
She’s being clingy. She’s not trying to get a hold of him because of an emergency. She just wants to know his every move. How many people have looked at a message, been distracted, and forgot to reply? He just wanted to enjoy his time and not be glued to his phone. Let’s just put it this way: if a man did the same to his wife and she wasn’t responding like in this situation, he’d be called controlling.
Shes only 20 wks preggers, not 39! I would understand if it was a high risk pregnancy but it dont sound it, BUT if he was the cause of the trust issues thay have had in the past then it would sound understandable. Both are at fault.
I mean if he’s going on a trip maybe don’t bug him every hour and you won’t get a snippy SO. However it sounds like he’s also given her reason to want to check his every move. ESH. I feel like there is stuff going on behind the scenes that we don’t know about. That comment where he said that they were going back to not trusting him makes me wonder if he strayed. However if you have to check up this often….. just divorce and be done with it.
I'm a female. She is too much. She did ruined his weekend. How would she like it if he constantly texted her the whole time she's with her girls? He's out to have fun not constantly on the phone. There's more to the story. She doesn't trust him. Why? Was there cheating before? Or she just doesn't trust him. I've been out with someone who is constantly on their phone. That wasn't fun. (And we only went to the store! Lol)
She's not having an emergency. She's being insecure. If someone called and texted me all day, every day on my trip, I'm not answering. I get that she's pregnant, but she's also a drama queen.
ESH- 1.5 hours of not responding is not crazy and he’s having fun with his friends. But he could be a little more understanding and nicer to his hormonal pregnant wife. Just a little assurance instead of saying she ruined the vibe.
Nah.. I get she is pregnant and that maybe playing a part.. But, this one had me screaming she is the ahole.. She qas going in looking for a fight. She was angry on "slow" responses.. She was passive aggressive and then facetimed to argue with him in front of friends..
No, it's not different. She's pregnant, not on her death bed. ...and if they didn't have cell phones, this would not be a problem. Leave him be. Being pregnant does not excuse bad behaviour.
Pregnancy does not give anyone an excuse to being overbearing and nosy. She knew where he was. So what he didn't say exactly where he was. He was going there apparently. If she had an emergency that's one thing, but, she was just trying to track him. He's not an a hole at all.
I think she over reacted, yes she is pregnant but let him have his weekend. When away I think he got caught up in the fun. She is allowed her feelings she just needs to slow down and think.
Candy, one size does not fit all lol. They are toxic and someone may have a history of cheating and makes someone in edge when the other walks out in a group.
ESH - Yes, hubby should be quick to respond to wifey, and ofc give honest answers, but wifey knows he's 2000k miles away for a bachelor party weekend. Leave the man alone! Sure, msg him here and there to say good morning/night, I miss you smoochie smoochie, or if there is something important. But ffs woman, stay off of his back for a couple days and let him have fun! Pregnancy hormones only excuse so much IMO, and sucking the soul out of his entire weekend with your obsessive tracking and hounding just goes too far. Was hubby giving half-truth answers & omitting details (eg: strip club) because he didn't want to deal with wifey turning into Pregasaurus Rex? Kinda understandable lol, but not the right thing to do. It only makes things worse in the end, and he should have been transparent from the beginning. They both suck. I hope they get their shit together before their wee one gets here.
I can't make a decision on who's the AH without both sides here. If my SO was on a planned bachelor trip when I was pregnant, I'd message to say 'Hope you're having fun!' But I wouldn't want to ruin the trip by messaging every hour and getting PO for not having a reply straight away or track his every movement. If it's not an emergency, don't harrass. People are assuming that there was a cheating issue but it could be that she's just an insecure and untrusting person. Who knows? They need to talk about why she feels the need to know his every waking step before the baby arrives. He's not totally infallible with him not telling her the truth, but if you're busy with your friends on a bachelor or bachelorette party there is the possibility that he said that he was one place because they were already making plans to go there at the time even if they weren't there that very second. Maybe he was fed up of being hounded and knew she'd find an excuse to make him look bad even if he was an innocent party? We won't know without his imput. Hell, if my SO was going to a strip club I'd ask for pictures because I'm shameless and would play the 'that one looks amazing' game walking down the street with him on a normal day 😂 (no trust issues at all, just an appreciation for the wonderful people in the world of all shapes and sizes lol) Trust is a two way street. She doesn't have any trust in him and he doesn't in her.
Every aspect of this kind of ticks me off. He's already gone off on one trip just a few weeks ago and now is off in Vegas - wife at home, whether pregnant or not. She is constantly texting him which is one of my pet peeves - lord, give him just a bit of free time with his friends! Does she also expect him to put his job in danger by never waiting more than five minutes to respond to her RIGHT THIS SECOND!?!?!? This immediacy is just not the norm - at least not to me (at 64). Everyone sucks here - him for leaving her alone yet again - why did he marry her? To leave her at home? Her for being so demanding and throwing hissy fits because he is not paying attention to her 24/7 - why didn't she tell him she didn't want him to go then? And what did she think a bachelor party in Vegas entailed? Bingo? Touring car museums?
You have to trust wach other in a marriage or get a divorce. Shes the asshole. Leave the messaging alone. If theres an emergency you can call. Get in touch with each other in the morning and then at night or set up times. Constantly messaging is over the top.
NTA . The lying and lack of transparency from him is a big problem. It would be an issue whether she was or wasn't pregnant.
"I dont keep secrets from you" while fully keeping secrets from her. I can promise her that inappropriate things were going on or he would not have lied. RUN GIRL.
I just can’t imagine marrying someone I didn’t trust enough to send on a similar vacation….
NTA. Husband is acting really shady.
"All the other wives knew" did it for me. He obviously deliberately left her out of the loop. Not the way to reassure your pregnant wife that all is well! Yes, she's being needy but he's being evasive. Now he's with buddies that are undoubtedly in his ear telling him she's the problem. NOT telling her about the strip club is a red flag, now this? He's digging a bigger hole. Not that she's not being clingy, but being pregnant and having your own body changing then having your SO hiding going to strip clubs would suck for her self-esteem.
Normally I would say she was hovering, but he gave her reason to not trust when he was lying and keeping things from her before. Theyve got some stuff to work out, she is NTA, maybe ESH. She has ever right to want transparency and so does he. And with a baby on the way, the stakes are high for her.
Get it together in tour marriage, yall. Its time to grow up.
I caught this and Dusty did too that she wrote "go back to not trusting each other".... I think she has a bit of a reason to be so paranoid. My guess, and this is based on this line and the change, is that he's cheated on her before. And if this is true, she was already NTA, but this brings hubby to ascon 1. If there was a black hole past it, I hope he goes into it because he deserves it.
He said that to her though
"One shoe fits the goose and one shoe fits the gander" is a GREAT new way to say ESH 😄
NTA, it's the lying for me
I've heard (and seen) of helicopter parents, but a helicopter spouse? He's away with friends and you need hourly "what are you doing" updates? This implies a HUGE lack of trust. Don't know if that's justified, but I consider it a bit extreme and I can understand hubby being upset by it. One or two messages per day for "good morning, what's your plans for the day" and a "good night, did you have a good day and I love you" should be more than enough. But while it would have been good if hubby answered immediately, that's not always possible. He was at least reading her texts to see if anything was urgent and just didn't immediately respond if he didn't feel it was. It's apparent there's some trust issues from past events, but I'm inclined to say NTA!
I agree with you 100%
NTA. Sounds like he might’ve don’t some things in the past to make her want updates & such. His lies don’t help either.
Leaning towards NTA as there seems to be trust issues on his behaviour, but it does seems like it is a communication breakdown. It doesn't sound like a healthy functioning relationship. You both need marriage counselling. If you can't communicate effectively or trust your partner, the relationship isn't going to be healthy or last. I've been married almost 20 years now in a loving and committed relationship. Trust and communication are key components to make a relationship work. John Gottman is great at helping relationships. Pick up one of his books. His work is life changing for all relationships.
GASP!!!L a strip club at a bachelor’s party?!?!? The audacity😂😂😂😂
I agree 100% with Candy. They both have issues.
She’s 20 weeks pregnant and not having any emergency (I’m pretty sure that if her health was at issue, it would have been mentioned). If my partner was pinging me repeatedly while I’m away on a planned trip, I would have gone ballistic. Having said that, there seems to be some problematic behaviors in the past. If that’s true, go to therapy and figure it out or get out before you’re raising a kid in the middle of a toxic relationship.
3:04 this got me lmfaoooooo
I agree 100% with Candy Thunder- ESH. These two are not compatible when it comes to their communication needs. She's overly needy and he's not responding.
Well, did she agree to have him go to the party in the first place? If she did not want him to go, then why is he away? If she did agree, wholeheartedly or not, did they plan out emergency scenarios? If she ends up having to constantly checking up on him, and him not delivering what she needs to feel secure, this couple has a problem with expectation setting and communicating. NTA, but they both sure are irritating.
ESH. He lied, but she is engaging in stalkerish behavior.
ESH ... She needs to quit texting constantly. He's on a "boys trip" at a bachelor party.
And he needs to be better understanding.
AND the "it was a secret, but all the other wives already knew" ... kinda odd. You still tell your WIFE, regardless if it's a secret or not. Just saying... You shouldn't be keeping any secrets from each other.
Agree... Communication needs to be MUCH better between them.
She's pregnant, yes... but feels like there's more to this story than just her side and this ONE moment that happened that has been posted about.
She’s being clingy. She’s not trying to get a hold of him because of an emergency. She just wants to know his every move. How many people have looked at a message, been distracted, and forgot to reply? He just wanted to enjoy his time and not be glued to his phone. Let’s just put it this way: if a man did the same to his wife and she wasn’t responding like in this situation, he’d be called controlling.
Were the nights plans disclosed beforehand?
I got to go with ESH on this one
She’s clingy and he seems like he’s over it
Shes only 20 wks preggers, not 39! I would understand if it was a high risk pregnancy but it dont sound it, BUT if he was the cause of the trust issues thay have had in the past then it would sound understandable. Both are at fault.
I mean if he’s going on a trip maybe don’t bug him every hour and you won’t get a snippy SO. However it sounds like he’s also given her reason to want to check his every move. ESH. I feel like there is stuff going on behind the scenes that we don’t know about. That comment where he said that they were going back to not trusting him makes me wonder if he strayed. However if you have to check up this often….. just divorce and be done with it.
I'm a female. She is too much. She did ruined his weekend. How would she like it if he constantly texted her the whole time she's with her girls? He's out to have fun not constantly on the phone. There's more to the story. She doesn't trust him. Why? Was there cheating before? Or she just doesn't trust him. I've been out with someone who is constantly on their phone. That wasn't fun. (And we only went to the store! Lol)
She's not having an emergency. She's being insecure. If someone called and texted me all day, every day on my trip, I'm not answering. I get that she's pregnant, but she's also a drama queen.
ESH- 1.5 hours of not responding is not crazy and he’s having fun with his friends. But he could be a little more understanding and nicer to his hormonal pregnant wife. Just a little assurance instead of saying she ruined the vibe.
🖤🤎
Nah.. I get she is pregnant and that maybe playing a part.. But, this one had me screaming she is the ahole.. She qas going in looking for a fight. She was angry on "slow" responses.. She was passive aggressive and then facetimed to argue with him in front of friends..
She needs to get a grip.
No, it's not different. She's pregnant, not on her death bed. ...and if they didn't have cell phones, this would not be a problem. Leave him be. Being pregnant does not excuse bad behaviour.
Who said it was bad behavior?
So true!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Pregnancy does not give anyone an excuse to being overbearing and nosy. She knew where he was. So what he didn't say exactly where he was. He was going there apparently. If she had an emergency that's one thing, but, she was just trying to track him. He's not an a hole at all.
I think she over reacted, yes she is pregnant but let him have his weekend. When away I think he got caught up in the fun. She is allowed her feelings she just needs to slow down and think.
Candy, one size does not fit all lol. They are toxic and someone may have a history of cheating and makes someone in edge when the other walks out in a group.
ESH - Yes, hubby should be quick to respond to wifey, and ofc give honest answers, but wifey knows he's 2000k miles away for a bachelor party weekend. Leave the man alone! Sure, msg him here and there to say good morning/night, I miss you smoochie smoochie, or if there is something important. But ffs woman, stay off of his back for a couple days and let him have fun! Pregnancy hormones only excuse so much IMO, and sucking the soul out of his entire weekend with your obsessive tracking and hounding just goes too far. Was hubby giving half-truth answers & omitting details (eg: strip club) because he didn't want to deal with wifey turning into Pregasaurus Rex? Kinda understandable lol, but not the right thing to do. It only makes things worse in the end, and he should have been transparent from the beginning. They both suck. I hope they get their shit together before their wee one gets here.
Pregasaurus Rex? Using it. 😂
@@solsticebaby 😁By all means@ Enjoy, spread the word!
I can't make a decision on who's the AH without both sides here. If my SO was on a planned bachelor trip when I was pregnant, I'd message to say 'Hope you're having fun!' But I wouldn't want to ruin the trip by messaging every hour and getting PO for not having a reply straight away or track his every movement. If it's not an emergency, don't harrass. People are assuming that there was a cheating issue but it could be that she's just an insecure and untrusting person. Who knows? They need to talk about why she feels the need to know his every waking step before the baby arrives. He's not totally infallible with him not telling her the truth, but if you're busy with your friends on a bachelor or bachelorette party there is the possibility that he said that he was one place because they were already making plans to go there at the time even if they weren't there that very second. Maybe he was fed up of being hounded and knew she'd find an excuse to make him look bad even if he was an innocent party? We won't know without his imput. Hell, if my SO was going to a strip club I'd ask for pictures because I'm shameless and would play the 'that one looks amazing' game walking down the street with him on a normal day 😂 (no trust issues at all, just an appreciation for the wonderful people in the world of all shapes and sizes lol) Trust is a two way street. She doesn't have any trust in him and he doesn't in her.
If Dusty hears pregnant, he'll give ANY leeway he can. No matter how much she sucks.
You're not wrong! If I were pregnant, I would be the biggest PITA on the planet. Even bigger than I already am.
Every aspect of this kind of ticks me off. He's already gone off on one trip just a few weeks ago and now is off in Vegas - wife at home, whether pregnant or not. She is constantly texting him which is one of my pet peeves - lord, give him just a bit of free time with his friends! Does she also expect him to put his job in danger by never waiting more than five minutes to respond to her RIGHT THIS SECOND!?!?!? This immediacy is just not the norm - at least not to me (at 64). Everyone sucks here - him for leaving her alone yet again - why did he marry her? To leave her at home? Her for being so demanding and throwing hissy fits because he is not paying attention to her 24/7 - why didn't she tell him she didn't want him to go then? And what did she think a bachelor party in Vegas entailed? Bingo? Touring car museums?
You have to trust wach other in a marriage or get a divorce. Shes the asshole. Leave the messaging alone. If theres an emergency you can call. Get in touch with each other in the morning and then at night or set up times. Constantly messaging is over the top.