How do I inform 29M this woman 29F that she is not my gf? + UPDATE! Dusty Reads & Reacts!
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- Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
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How do I inform 29M this woman 29F that she is not my gf? + UPDATE!
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OP was totally stringing Rachel along until he found someone he liked more. The title makes it seem like she’s deluded when they were 100% in a relationship. He probably would’ve begrudgingly married her and cheated with the comforting feeling that it was all “one sided”. And props to that one comment, it was savage and very insightful.
Edit: how much does everyone wanna bet that OP didn’t break up with Rachel the way he said he did? I’m betting he *did bring up the technicality.
I’m going to guess he sent a break up text and then ghosted her. This dude is way too much of a coward to actually do it in person.
Like you, I’m also guessing he never referred to it as a relationship, just something like “this just isn’t working out anymore” followed by some bs that makes him feel like he is still such a good guy
The top commenter guy? It was deep.
If you let her call you her boyfriend for four years?!?!? then you’re her boyfriend!!!
Guarantee food truck girl wasn’t the first, she’s just the first he’s had enough success with to “ask her to be his girlfriend” - meaning it’s getting too hard to hide the women from each other. He’s absolutely been dating and hitting on women this whole time because he was “technically single”
Not gonna lie. I hope “food truck girl” discovers that jerk’s reddit posts, and ditches him real quick.
OP was totally stringing Rachel along and wasted 4 years of her life. I am glad OP was flamed because he is the absolute worst and I hope Rachel finds much better.
That reply. 🎉🎉🎉
I think OP just went to reddit to beta test and refine his manipulation tactics before rolling them out on these poor women.
He took the "we were on a break" meme to the extreme of "we were never a couple".
Flip the script. If Rachel had been stringing him along & met food truck guy....he'd go full ATate on her...... 🙄
He’d prob unalive her.
I just realized i never asked my husband to be my boyfriend 10 years ago. Looks like we just have a situationship
Speaking from experience I definitely would have appreciated it if my ex had told me he was done before he found someone else. I asked if he was done with the marriage for at least a year and always was told no and he would reluctantly agree to counseling. Later he had excuses why he wouldn't go to counseling. After 8 years of marriage, he told me he was done because he wanted to end it before he cheated (emotional cheating is cheating).
EXACTLY... Please, just be honest with me. I already know something isn't right, or I wouldn't be asking.
The consistent denial of trouble I can feel in my bones is in the top 3 of the cruelest things that have ever been done to me
Me: he's just cheating....
Dusty: there's this beautiful woman...
Me: knew it......
This guy is emotionally stunted stunt it because this sounds like some schoolyard antics
Someone send this story to both women, and let them take turns punching OP in the ego.
Let this be a screaming example of how you should know when to leave someone is making it known that they're not that into you. Know the signs that are glaringly showing that you're their placeholder until what they really want comes around. Know that sometimes being single IS the upgrade. I hope this Rachel lady finds the person she needs that will reciprocate their feelings to her, cuz this dude sucks.
Everyone should save that B S response for their next job interview. 😂
I am ashamed to say that I was the Liz in almost this exact situation in the past. When we got together, he made a big deal of going out to tell his "friends with benefits" women he had been seeing that he has a gf now. He had given one a ring he had designed for her (but he assured me it wasn't an engagement ring). And told me how upset she was and cried. I was so dumb and had such low self worth at the time that I took that as a compliment that I wad the one he chose. It was the biggest mistake of my life and the worst 8 months I've ever gone through. He was for sure a "technically" guy. Didn't lie, just omitted and skirted the truth.
Phew! Thank goodness for OP - I was able to correct the error of neither party asking the other to be boyfriend/girlfriend with my husband of ten years, romantic partner of four years before that.
Poor Liz. 😢
What a total POS. Wow. He's "remorseful" no he's not. He used her as a placeholder for four years. What a jerk. I'm so glad Rachel is free from him. I really hope she finds a great guy who will heal with this POS did
OP is a huge jackass. Wow! He didn’t write a note to Rachel, ‘will you be my gf? Check yes or no.’ So, she’s not his gf after 4 years. 🤦♀️
Well, this validates my eschewing dating since the 90s, when I had two different guys like this who I thought I was dating. Nope. Some guys are just such pieces of work and for me it is hard to detect them, so I just stopped bothering with any of them at the turn of the century.
Also, Top Commenter: I love you! You are amazing, and if I could reach through my monitor and hug you right now, I would. If there more men like you... ***sigh** then maybe I wouldn't be single.
Really hope Liz finds out her boyfriend posted this.
YTA, full stop. 💯.
MASSIVE SHOUTOUT TO THE GENTLEMAN WHO WROTE THAT EXTRAORDINARY RESPONSE….W O W👏👏👏🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
It's my belief that having the testicles exposed and vulnerable produces two types of men:
1) Those who realize pain in life is inevitable, so you should make sure all the pain was worth it, and
2) Those who try to avoid pain no matter the cost, and will willingly hurt or allow others to be hurt if it means they can avoid pain.
OP is in the latter category.
This is actually kind of profound in its own little way... I'm gonna borrow this, if you don't mind.
I'd be ready to find food truck girl "lizz" and warn a girl the dude is delulu!!!!
The comment ate and left no crumbs!! 🎉
This sounds exactly like what happened to me, almost creepily similar. I actually thought that it was my ex who wrote it but just changed the ages because I was a minor when we started talking/dating.
Duuuuuude, what are you doing!? Then again, what is she doing!? How did she not pick up that you weren’t into her? The whole post, from start to finish, was complete crap, mostly on OP’s part. He got what he wanted, so I doubt he’ll actually be a changed person. Sounds like a guy for women to avoid. Despite how I feel about Rachel not being more cognizant, I do hope she finds someone so that if you do want her back, she’s already taken.
He did all of the boyfriend things and treated her nicely. This is just a dude justifying wanting to cheat and leave a relationship. This isn’t on the girl.
I bet money that he was doing boyfriend things and pretending to like her.
If you hire a therapist to help you with your trauma, is it your fault if they take your money and skip town? They were certified, had good reviews, and did, in fact, use the appropriate therapeutic techniques needed to treat your trauma.
How were you supposed to know that after four years they'd take your money for today's session, then abruptly leave town with no explanation?
It's the same way with relationships. If your partner acts like a partner for four years, what reasons do you have to not believe they're your partner?
I agree with everything Dusty said, however, do we need to check on him to make sure he hasn't thrown a coronary? I felt his rage through the screen!😊
Damn!!! lol the comment after was amazing
… What “anniversary” was he celebrating? If not how long they’ve been dating?
He doesn’t feel bad. If he did he wouldn’t have kept up his behavior for 4 years
From the title i thought it was going to be 2-3 months tops, not 4 years
Ummm WHAT?!? This OP is crazy
Just a couple things here. OP’s apology is very reminiscent of when anyone famous tweets something bad, or uses a slur, and apologizes saying my behavior is abhorrent.. blah blah blah. He’s not apologizing for being a certain way, He’s apologizing for getting caught up in his own BS.
Secondly perhaps the title should have been “How should my (29m) girlfriend (28F) inform me that we are in a relationship?
He knew he was in a relationship. Once someone calls you their girlfriend/boyfriend or is celebrating anniversaries with you, you are in a relationship. The only exception being if that person is a stalker and you are trying desperately to get away from them.
Liz, is going to dog walk him. Once she does he's going to try and go back with Rachel
😅wow that’s was amazing!!
You did many, if not all, the things a couple do essentially leading her on. Is it an otherwise FWB situation? Regardless, you were leading her on and it's totally your fault. If this was AITA, the answer would be YTA!
UPDATE: We all need scoop shovels because it's getting deep!
I've totally been there... Luckily it wasn't that long before he went 'I didn't realise this weas a relationship' after we took weeks away, was at each others places regularly, going to each others individual activites as support... What is it with some men...
He felt so bad he went to make it official with Liz got it lol OP is pathetic
You don't celebrate anniversaries with someone who is not your girlfriend
Ugh. What a douche. He was all about letting her think she was his gf, but now he's met another woman he wants to pretend he never was her bf. Aight... 🙄🙄
i hope liz finds this post and runs for the hills, and i hope this guy goes to therapy and achieves a learned level of empathy. the reply ate him up!!
I think it may age me, but your advice @09:41 was highly reminiscient of the song "Popular" by Nada Surf! Anyway.. OP needs to pull his head out of his own rear end, and touch some grass, and perhaps learn what adult relationships look like before he ventures into another relationship.
The problem with the non defined social-emotionall structure of today is this: vaguery of terms. What is a relationship? Are we dating? Is there such a thing as being exclusive if there is no ring on the finger? Should we call each other life partners or friends with the benefits of we plan to be long-term with each other but hate societal norms?
Without nomenclature, you live in constant vaguery, and their is a certainty of a bond.
❤️
That top comment though...
You should create a bullsh*t animation for your videos.
I would never let the person call me a girlfriend or celebrate anything BUT, to me, if no one asked or made it official, IT ISN'T. I can make a friendship with benefits work for years easily too, doing couple things and all. Won't be your girlfriend if you never asked me to. Thing is tho, i would make it very clear that we are not in a serious relationship
Another follower of A Tate