Malignant Narcissists: Stay Away!
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- Опубліковано 16 вер 2024
- What is a malignant narcissist? Well, they typically have a grandiose sense of self-importance and regularly have fantasies about power. Learn more about narcissism by subscribing! Interested in starting therapy? Learn More About My Private Practice: jimbrillon.com...
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Narcissists are absolute monsters
"Anytime you hear an accusation, that's actually a confession. " - Yes I believe that. They get a thrill out of seeing normal people feel uncomfortable. Creepy, aggressive, controlling behavior.
Nasty evil mother fu....is still to smooth of a description for those reptile beings on 2 legs. Beware!
A secretive person is never a safe person. No contact was my only option. Malignant narcissists can't be trusted.
Narcissists keep everything a secret and need to know everything about others so they can manipulate. Keeping ones business to oneself is the number one rule of maintaining a healthy boundary against the narcissist. Certain information is only ever given on a 'need to know' basis. Why live in a glass house and make it easy for them?
don’t you trust your employer? 😅
why add malignant? no narc can be trusted
@@sebi98cr7 not even narc women? they are everywhere 😅
No contact is your only option.
Thank goodness for the internet and UA-cam. Narcissists are under the spotlight now. We are learning all about them.
Amen
Couldn't agree more. If it wasn't for this knowledge on the internet I would still be a puppet on a string.
20 years ago it was on the “net” but we had to print it off!😅 still worth it. I walked around with 40 sheets of paper gaining clarity!
Absolutely true. Know your enemy and the knowledge is now so accessible thanks to UA-cam.
Wonder how Many narcAsits whatch these vids And think They are the victem
Don't ever feel sorry for a malignant narcissist. They will not be feeling sorry for what they have done to you. In fact they will feel a sense of pleasure, dominance and power that they were able to hurt you. It's what they get off on. Don't ever start feeling sympathetic to them.
I'm learning to separate, and go silent with my younger daughter of 55 years old, and though I will love her till my last breath, I'm beginning to fieel like I could sprout wings and fly, with this new sense of freedom I'm enjoying at this point. I'm aware the battles that will be there to face, but this wonderful sense of freedom supercedes any thoughts of battles that lie in my pathway.
Once guilt can be conquered, a person can then begin to heal.
It's what they get off on - Satan
“The best way to cope in a relationship with a narcissist is to get out of it” - you nailed it, sir. Run for your life.
What about antisocial personality disorder? I thought they are worse?
ITS BAD ITS BAD VERYBAD U HAD ME AT ANTI AND THE WORD SOCIAL SEALED IT NARSC ASPD BPD BI POLAR ETC ULL B BUSY I KNOW I HAVE CLYNICAL OCD AFTER 40YRS
Trauma does not excuse behavior. Thank you! Even at age 81, he never changed. Still dangerous .He has driven his second wife into being psychotic.
Who are we talking about?
@@garymitchell5899 you.
Nope. Not an excuse. It is a reason. Understanding the difference between "an excuse" and "a reason" is very important.
Understanding trauma EXPLAINS behavior and creates a jumping-off point for one to learn how to heal, and to learn how to communicate in a healthy way
Yes, as they age they get worse and more desperate. I’m glad you are alive and made it out. ❤
Does not excuse it, but does help cause it
I think both sociopaths and malignant narcissists are evil. . They may have arrived at the same station on different trains but their playbooks are similar enough .
Psychopaths are born, and sociopaths are created.
True
@@xombiekillaaccording to who?
Psycho means the mind, and Socio means the social; the way the conditions function lies in their name.@@staceystrukel1917
@@staceystrukel1917He even says it in the video, but look up brain scans of psychopaths...very distinctive.
I was with a Covert Narcissist-Sociopath for 23 years. After he passed away I met the “Malignant Narcissist”. Fortunately after the death of my partner I read multiple, leading books on the subject to understand what NPD is. I then met the new Narcissist.
He fits the exact description you describe as very successful, very intense, lots of sexual energy, charismatic, paranoid, manipulative and very controlled in everything. He absolutely fits The Dark Triad perfectly. I spent only two months with him and quickly shut him down and walked away.
Knowledge is power!!
👍👍
👏👏👏👍🙌
Congratulations for spotting and walking away.
Slayer!
Congratulations for learning and leaving this toxic narcissist leaving is the best thing to do you can breathe a huge sign of relief and heal and you have peace!🙏
The only pain I have is ‘I wish I got out sooner’
Yea
Me too
Disgusting me!!!!!!
No Help you must do it yourself
This describes someone that I considered a friend. Unfortunately I’m going to have to let him go.
My former partner was a malignant narcissist with a masters in philosophy and a PhD in law, which made marriage counseling like an afternoon in a courtroom. How he discard me, was similar to how he discarded his 1st partner. My loneliness and denial ignored the warning signs when dating.
Power, control, status, etc. Their obsession. They are impulsive, intense, irreflexive, selfish, lack empathy. They know how to fake being a normal person. I ended up simplifying the whole topic in: they are bad people, evil. It doesn't matter their trauma or whatever the reason may be.
I think we should add the word (greedy) to the list also 🤔 😮 ♡♡♡♡
He is not isolating me. But he does everything to poke me and waits for a reaction. Then he observes me closely without talking. He enjoys. He takes pleasure. Very weird
Dont show any emotional reactions!
@anabellaparis YOU don't see it. POKING at you will isolate you over time. A narcissist CAN ONLY MISUSE OTHERS, AS THEY ARE A BOTTOMLESS PIT.
It’s called reactive abuse.
And yet you stay with the abuse...
Isolation comes next
They're also sometimes made by parents who've spoilt them and put them first all the time therefore making them feel superior ! They are Severely TOXIC !
If you stay with an abusive partner especially with npd it will kill you no matter the dynamics. I actually witnessed the energy being drained from my granddaughter by NM, her great grandmother. She's 6 and her energy is being drained in more ways than one. It's really disgusting. Narcissistic sociopaths need to be locked away for everyone's safety, sanity and physical health
I can tell it simply, this is the worst kind of person. The most physical and emotional pain I'd ever gone through.
Hugs, I know its horrible.
@@cyberninjasworld thank you. Hugs received and hugs returned ❤️
psychopath: sees others as cattle/food
narcissist: sees others as domain
Highly malevolent people.
Jim your description of a malignant narcissist sounds like corporate America.
What came to mind was the European colonial entities... To this day still gas-lighting and dismissing those that have been on the receiving end
When a malignant narcissist has their eyes set on you as their next target one will find that their behavior will be extremely cult like. The malignant narcissist will spread lies and gossip and try to do whatever it will take to destroy your image and your friendship with anyone and everyone you know. The malignant narcissist is the worst of the worst of all narcissists. If you are dealing with one of these extremely mentally ill and evil people, take your losses and walk away. These narcissists will hold a grudge and make one's life extremely uncomfortable till you end up having to leave town.
The really odd thing about malignant narcissism is that malignant narcissism is caused by severe emotional / mental trauma. For those who have an in-depth understanding of what trauma does to the brain severe trauma can physically change the brain permanently. Malignant narcissism is like a person with a broken leg. If a person sees a doctor the leg can be fixed almost like new. However, if the body is left to its own devices the body will repair itself the best that it can. This is equally true to malignant narcissism. However the narcissist's "EGO" transforms "SUPEREGO" as a coping mechanism to deal with the external emotional / mental stressors (which is consistent with Freud's theory on the ego and superego.)" In other words, the narcissist becomes literally a "SUPER narcissist" which makes these individuals extremely dangerous people to be around.
The external stressor(s) may involve the narcissist becoming invovled in a relationship with a sociopath in their life and developing severe emotional / mental trauma as a result. Sociopaths (as most psychologists will recognize) lack any moral consciousness thus will stop at nothing to get whatever they want. Modern research has shown that sociopaths are genetically disposed to the their condition thus if a mother of father has sociopath characteristics the son or daughter may also develop the same sociopath characteristics as they become older.
Emma McAdam does an excellent job at describing trauma and how trauma affects the brain in her link below >
ua-cam.com/video/wdUR69J2u6c/v-deo.html&pp=ygUZdHJhdW1hIGFuZCB0aGUgYnJhaW4gZW1tYQ%3D%3D
Add in trauma into the equation to an individual who already has extreme narcissist and you will have all the proper ingredients for the makings of the "malignant narcissist." 100% ego with zero or near zero ability to tolerate any form of shame whatsoever.
Be extremely wary if you need to deal with a malignant narcissist as one's own personal mental well being should be the primary concern as malignant narcissist's are also pathological liars, and will literally stop at nothing once they feel they have being wronged, shamed, or embarrassed in any way. Narcissism at this level is virtually on the same level as an extreme sociopath and/or psychopath.
Jim Jones of the 1978 Jonestown "Kool-Aid" massacre is an excellent example of a malignant narcissist as all the ingredients are also there for the makings of the malignant narcissist.
What I'm going through right now
I blocked him malignant narcissist from everywhere, saw few red flags , we were not even in a relationship it was just a introduction phase between us and I blocked him after seeing few red flags. IDK how he'll gonna react?? My own uncle and his wife is flying monkeys (they indirectly asked me some personal and provoking questions which I found quite strange at that time didn't react much , now I'm thinking he made them to do that so he can access to my weaknesses and fears) 😒😒.
The cult like is so true
@@hanlievanzyl4782 If I didn't see this phenomenon for myself I would be highly skeptical but the behavior is very very real. I believe that the bigger the ego that the narcissist acquires the more need for attention the narcissist requires. One thing I have also noticed is that as the narcissist's ego gets larger and larger the narcissist's tolerance to "shame" becomes lower and lower. Even Dr. Les Carter (another psychologist here on UA-cam even confirmed my observation and theory. Inevitably, when it comes to a malignant narcissist their ego becomes so inflated (to the point that reality itself is no longer real > "supergo" as Freud called this) the malignant narcissist tolerance to shame is near or at zero. This, BTW (tolerance to shame) happens at the subconscious level in the narcissist which is why the narcissist is unable to deal with criticism. Criticism itself is seen as an attack on the narcissist's ego and their inability to deal with shame.
It's an interesting theory that appears to work and Dr. Les Carter also agreed with my observations and theory on both narcissism and malignant narcissism
Yup and to get a better idea how dangerous a malignant narcissist is scar from lion king is a malignant narcissist.
He tried to isolate me from friends and family in everyway. And when I finally find myself completely alone, angry as hell, he denied any responsability.
Did you ever get out?
Dr. Sandra Brown says not all people who get involved with these people are codependent. The intimate partner often has super traits. Dr. Brown runs the Institute for Relational Harm Reduction if anyone wants to understand those. It took 44 years and loss of my health before I understood what a dangerous situation I was in. This information was not available to me until during the last years of my marriage and I am so happy that so much is available now. My malignant narc died suddenly after the discard and while trying to take everything. I am in recovery now for five years, pursuing renewed goals, and helping other women.
Good look 👍
@@hasansarhan9296 thank you. It takes more than luck. It takes abiding in Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. I believe in a sovereign God who allowed my difficulties in order to conform me to the image of Christ and so that HE could use me to minister to others. May God richly bless you
Teresa, sending hugs and support 🤗 👍🙌👏👏👏
They are charming evil serial killers ! And they know what their doing! Excellent video!
Not that charming, 15 minutes of pseudo charisma but definitely evil serial killers.
They are sadistic dominant style don t be conned or fooled
Thanks so much jim 🙏 , literally text book my life partner.. So hard to get away from these toxic poisonous people, please avoid at all costs.🙏❤️
You are very welcome. I'm glad you found this helpful!
Nearly impossible to get away. I found listening to Women Who Live Too Much by Robin Norwood on repeat (audible) helped. This after 12 years- heart breaking
Literally just described my life for the last 25 years and he seemed to get worst as he aged because that insecurity grew because he physically started to age
Good people vs evil people
Documentation and gathering evidence of communication (text, audio, and video) are recommended for these types. The reason being is lying is their most effective tool. They can use the lies to gain favor with people you have a mutual relationship with. When you show evidence to those in mutual relationships they can begin to see the truth. This will help bring the allies needed to deal with this evil.
Great advice!
I am very certain my ex was a malignant. He was a sexual deviant, a serial cheater, master manipulator and liar. He persued me relentlessly when we met, and at that time i took that persuit as genuine interest. At the beginning, I met him I was not educated on anything to do with NPD, the different forms of it and the warning signs were. I knew there was something off, but at the beginning of the relationship I thought "loves never easy, I love this person and want to give him a chance and help him" ..what a grave mistake that was.
The first few years there was triangulation with talking about his exes often, I do looking back feel certain he more than likely cheated throughout the relationship. It took several years for the full mask slip. It got to a point where he was not only verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive on an almost daily basis, he knew it was really hurting me and I'd notice that me telling him he was hurting me, pleased him. Some of the worst fights were AFTER I broke up with him.
For trigger reasons for others here, I won't say everything he did.. but he was making me feel physically fearful and terrified for my safety. I spent several months after the breakup where I never left my home unless I had to, or was going to work. My heart would race everytime I had to leave my home or anytime I was walking to my car.
He stalked me by phone, calling hundreds of times..anytime of the night and day. Me begging him to stop, made it even worse. He was sadistic and cruel, and he enjoyed it.
I began looking over my shoulder everytime I left the house, and I still look over my shoulder 2 years after the breakup.
I mention these things not to upset anyone here, it's in case someone Herr suspects they are in a relationship with this type of person or experiencing similar things..please, find a plan to leave. Get law enforcement involved if needed. Every bit of fear I've felt, was worth leaving that relationship and cutting that person out of my life.
You didn’t block his phone number?
You just described my Narcissist malignant husband in every way and I do mean in every way you can imagine
This is literally a mirror of what I’m going through . I’m so so sorry it’s really the worst type of pain .
@@shirleyguinyard8183same
I married a malignant narcissist. I figured out he is a narcissist but I couldn't figure out what type. I also new he is what is called a sociopath. He is now in a situation that mirrors who he is and these beings are really raking him over the coles. He is receiving what he is.
I married one too. As petty as it may be, I cant wait for the day its returned to him.
@@christymckee8133I feel the EXACT same way. It’s not petty, this is a justified feeling we have!
These men need to meet their mirror in another person and receive what they gave out to a good person(girlfriend/wife) in their life that they disregarded and disrespected.
Born and not made. Neurologically miswired.
Main people trait is neuro plasticity, and our brain is developing till 25. So, made. Nobody is born as an asshole.
My son is a victim of a female malignant narcissist. Our entire family - all 3 of us mind you are victims. She has and does take pleasure and great delight at hurting him and us. She accused him of cheating when she was the cheater. She is cruel, she lies about everything, she is a thief of souls and our son's money. Her entire existence is a fantasy. She is evil.
These people are actually demonic poseesed it's called the jezebel spirit. It's only through jesu christ these demons can be casted out of them. These demons use people to drain, provoke and terrorise people. I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. God bless you all.
I can relate entirely to your comments. They are pure evil. They will destroy you.
You sound like The Smother of my Malignant Narc
I'm sure she'd say the same of me.
He runs to Mommy plays victim smears me & twists everything onto me
I'm the scapegoat target
@@katalynbabe my thoughts exactly. The mother of my narcissist who herself was a narcissist claimed I was the problem. This sick family lived in lies (age, education, possessions) and I was a threat to expose those lies.
The only people who know who the narcissist really is are those who study narcissism extensively and I repeat very extensively, as if you're going for the clinical psychologist or forensic psychologist degree.
Or both.
I dated one of these and I’m traumatized. I found out today what this is. I’m a empath and very very compassionate
Empathic people that are honest as much as possible are very suseptable to narcissists.
"I'm an empath 🤢"
Be very careful about dating.Once you have been with a Narcissist,you will be targeted by them.
It is difficult to hide being an empathetic from them.
After two Narcissistic relationships,I shut down.
Don’t ever show emotions to these people. It’s dangerous and they’ll always use it against you
As soon as you start calling yourself an empath you start developing covert narcissism. You aren't an "empath" you're simply a person. Im sorry you got hurt, but you aren't any different than anyone else.
Plotting also behind back smirk dupers delight . Honestly your got stay away . I nearly died . Never argue either . They think their god !
I am currently in a coercive control relationship. He is everything you have spoken about. I'm in fear of him. He uses tauch methods to try and get to me. He has no boundaries, and tells me he's going to kill me. He uses sex as a weapon and punishes me if I dont give it to him, BUT everyone who interacts with him likes him! He projects onto me so that gives me an insight into him. No empathy at all, just feels he's sucking the life out of me.
hes telling you hes going to kill you bc hes capable of it...please call a domestic violence hotline as soon as possible.
I hope you got away from him. This describes my ex perfectly, I had to go to women's refuge to get away from him and court orders to keep him away but still always watch my back.
Your life is in danger. Seriously! Ive been married to one of these monsters for 19 years. He has tried to kill me both covertly and with his hands around my neck, my feet off the ground saying "im going to f#cking kill you bitch". If he out right says he is going to kill you, he will eventually kill you. I hope you dont have children with him. And I hope you know you and your life have value and you are worthy and deserving of so much more than he will ever give ❤❤❤
In the last ten years I was with two malignant narcissists that also fit the hallmarks for psychopathy. Very dangerous people (I survived domestic violence by both and attempted murder), they are chronic liars, cheaters and manipulators. I constantly live in fear that they’ll finish what they started with me. I also put up with stalking also by my ex husbands psychotic new girlfriend. They have zero sympathy for anyone they run over to get what they want and will use violence to further get what they want.
If you know anyone in these relationships, help them get out ASAP. These are evil lost souls
I was married to one for 30 years. He allowed our daughter to take close up photos of a black mamba in the garden. It was more important to see me very upset than the safety of his daughter. His sister was his enabler. He put knives all over in the house to scare my daughter...told her it was me. Well, it wasn’t me. He even broke his hand against my head. I forgave him. I know he needs help...his finances are in a terrible state. Yes, I loved him but it was impossible to get old with him.
Look at those words, how the hell you not even that bitter !!???
You are such a good woman, you deserve nothing but happiness and peace of mind ❤️❤️
this makes me want to cry what that bastard did to you, please stay strong bc of yawl eye gained the strength thru this fear and left.
I held it all in for decades. When I finally opened my mouth because my daughter is an abusive malignant narcissist/psychotic torturing us now that we are elderly, sick and financially unstable. She wins every time. No one believes me including police and other agencies. People believe I’m crazy. Another month before we can get out and I don’t think we’re going to make it. I’m terrified. You couldn’t believe in a million years the things she does and it’s getting worse the closer we are to getting out. These people are truly dangerous. If you suspect, even if they are your child please get away. Get away. You can’t help them. I’ve done everything possible to. You can’t help them or anyone (grandchildren) they have their claws into.
Are you ok? 😢
This is an excellent video. There is no excuse for abuse. I was raised in the same neglectful, abusive family as my two siblings. I was also, and still am at 62, being abused by these two siblings. They both have plenty of money to seek all of the professional help that money can buy, but won't do the work. No contact for 3 years now. Thanks Jim. Also, your Christmas tree is absolutely beautiful.
they don't care about others, they are just out for compliments and are people pleasers just because they want to be adored and for attention.
I always feel like I have to defend myself. they have an opinion about you and make others think that's how you are. none of the family has contact with me through lies and her persuasiveness.
After 39 years I was able to walk away. Oh he does have his flying monkeys to and some do not even realize they are doing it!. It's been tough, but financially I am making it. It is tough.
Good for you!❤
Sounds like the description of the American Government as a collective.
British empire
I think they can also be that way from being over indulged as a child ,spoiled and never having consequences for bad actions or bad character other people blamed for the childs behavior because they think thier child can do no wrong. They are taught they can do anything and do it betyer than anyone even when its not true
I've been raised by a father with this sort of narcissism. Besides been narcissist, he is rich, womanizer and violent. I had severe TBI and was in coma when I was 5 y.o and I grew up hiperactive and been hitten by him so much. Nothing I did or said was enough for him. He had kids with 6 women, including my mother and a girl I use to date, and he paid her apartment and university carreer to keep her. I still struggling to heal myself. I am 50 old and he stills playing strange and hurtful mind games. It've been and still been exausted. I'm in the process to finally cut ties.
Thank you Dr. for your dedicaton and information to help. Blessings to you and all the ones that keep struggling.
First off, thank you for this abundance of knowledge, good sir. I suspect my dad is a malignant narcissist, and i was his golden child (i may be a covert narcissist - lots of childhood neglect/trauma). However, i have turned away from him, all his golden child crap has gone down the sink. My supposed "good" dad was always a lie, and always had this sinister, develish side he showed to others. I don't want to even know what things he has done to other people, but the truth is coming out now, wish me luck, all. Love.
what does he do?
Good to know licensed psychogists are familiar with this type of turd and how they move
This is my ex boyfriend. Father of three of my children. He is a deadbeat dad who for 15 years now has never paid child support. He doesn't make excuses or make apologies. He has done so much to me and it's crazy that I didn't force him to pay and he throws screws under my tires, turns the power off in my home and harassing anyone who helps me financially during my hard times. Basically they're doing what he should be. He's violent. He can't keep a job and lives off people and has never lived alone and never has paid bills. He keeps whatever money he gets. This describes him perfectly
I don’t reward bad behavior or enable it - Not Ever !
One thing i know about narcissists
STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM!!
RUN!
no seriously..
RUN!!!
LIKE THE WIND BLOWS!!!
Just finished a year of crazy amount of pain and releasing the malignant mother out of me...i can say i have all the energy to run to the end of the world..my full purpose is to not live the life I saw her living...what a hollow darkness
Amazing description. They are the worse. I had one open narcicist. Was bad but not impossible. Coverts and this are worse 😢
I left my ex narcisst wife, my life is better, i was so damage but I am now well, these people will distroy you, they do not love you, they see you as a slave.
You are describing what I just kicked out, they literally drain the life out of you, sadistic is right, blame you while hurting you, covert narc is dillusional and pure evil. They need to be held accountable
I would like to turn him in he’s done some crimes
How were you able to get him out? Mine won't leave even though he says he can't wait to "shake the dust off" his feet.
My husband filed for divorce surprisingly to me. Caught me off guard. I’ve grown tremendously as will not ever play his controlling mind games - ever. Now he goes after our children bc he is trying to get to me. They see it but they don’t have much of a voice yet!! This man really thinks he can continue to fool everyone around him. He comes off as so loving and caring and plays the victim. He was a high official in the church and that hid his coldness for years. But I know one thing my children will be protected and he will not get my peace. Sometimes I feel sorry for him (to an extent) bc his mind is nasty and deranged to me. Sad state to be in
He will have his day. Narcissist do not realize, they themselves are their own karma
I'm sorry you had this happen in your life and I am so glad you protect your children.
The most shocking feature , for me, was the "calculating". I had never seen it in my family or friends. In an elaborate and calculating way he turned the family against me. They didn't figure it out for over 20 years. I took me even longer to see what he did and how long it took him to accomplish his plan. He portrayed himself as the victim. Gaslighting expert. Damaging. I stayed too long because we had 2 children She says because he has money.
I had no idea what this was until I was isolated with one and no money. A family narc dynamic on a tiny island..... Shock n aw to say the least. I survived when other men (she had kids with #5 total) took there own lives. She yells, hits, I take my daughter outside, flagged a car, she comes out seconds later with tears saying she 'can't take it anymore'. What a joke
I unfortunately found one on a dating app with all the worst traits of a malignant narcissist. He was extremely manipulative and dangerous. I wish I could warn his future victims. The only thing I can say to look out for is love bombing at the beginning and trampling all over your boundaries.
Thank you for genuine insight and understanding into this absolutely horrible topic. Like all of the other commenters, my life has been deeply impacted by narcissistic people. How is it that a person can slap another person and the legal system will react immediately, but these incredibly toxic and dangerous people have the freedom to destroy the lives of others without consequence? It's terribly unfair.
It is very unfair and the system does not support adequately victims of narcissistic abuse. Narcissists regularly manipulate police and judges, and get away with horrendous behaviors.
Everything is a game to win for them and they get worse during court process if you try to get them accountable. That's usually when they go and murder their wives. So, it's better to cut the losses and break it off fast with them. Even then it's difficult to get rid of them smoothly.
Thats because many in power and control jobs are narcissists psychopaths. They wreck all systems of justice.
Cold cold cold. Very good actor. Seems inocente.
Who psychopaths or malignant narcs?
I married one and started a family 19 years ago. What a ride!
Prince charming can kick rocks!
This has to be among the very best videos on the subject of malignant narcissism. I've worked with one for eight years and the cost to my co-workers and myself has been immense. Coping strategies are often discussed amongst our group as we weather the storm.
These malignant types I wonder how many end up behind bars
Brillon is brilliant, compassionate and absolutely accurate here.
Way better than a lil Wayne I like and appreciate what he does
Very well explained
Is rare someone so intense can be so superficial and cold same time. 😊
Ik I honestly think some people are just sick in the head
can NOT polish a 💩
@@New-qy5mi they scare the ' daylights ' out of me . I would not want to spend a nano - second in their mind .
can not polish a 💩
Thank you for this. It took me 6 years to get out through fear. Finally I did. Then he had a really scary (for me) narcissistic rage. He broke my router and banged hard on my window. Then he slandered me and projected his cheating onto me. He'd cleaned me out financially but finally he could not stop me talking to others or leaving the house. I didn't know what a malignant narcissist was until a few years after. He's been in many short lived 'relationships' both before and after me, primarily to get their money. Thank you very much for your explanation. He is exactly as you described.
Very useful information, thank you !
I want to say thank you♥️ Im in therapy, my mum is a narcissist (i think a malignant one) and you basically described her in this video. I keep distance, (no contact atm). I learned that ,apart from getting out of the relationship, all I can do is being educated about her tricks and not let her play me anymore. You are helping me and my sisters a lot with this. We are each others support system. so for all the help you gave us with this: Thank you♥️
@Milchan You are very lucky to have your siblings as your support system. I know they often pit one person or all family members against one or each against the other, to be the chosen scapegoat. They divide and conquer, to take the heat off of themself and to give the truth teller/the one that they are responsible for but neglected emotionally and/or physically no one to turn to, but them. It's no good to turn to a malignant person. Any one of the siblings could be a tattetale, or an enabler, so they side with the narcissist secretively. REMEMBER THAT'S HOW THE NARCISSIST GETS POWER AND CONTROL OVER THEM AND YOU AND OTHERS, FRIENDS. THEY GET TO KNOW EVERYONE, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW REALLY WHO THEY ARE. SO BE VERY CAREFUL AND GO NO CONTACT, (OR OTHER ?)
@@bernitacenteno1326 Thank you. I am indeed lucky my siblings never fell for her attempts to turn us against each other. My youngest sister was in the limbo of her lies for the time she still lived with mum but has meanwhile caught up with all the missinformation. Shes still keeping in touch with her but on a very distanced level. And I showed her this very video to be alert about this womans behaviour. I do send my mum a text on holidays or her bday but apart from that I dont talk to her anymore.
my adopted only daughter is one, we got her at 3 1/2 and she was given up at 18mos to orphan and she has has some light issues as a child, but when she was 12 and ran away and told me nobody loved her was a wake up call, she now 24 with a 4 year old and i had to cut all ties, she is getting worse and has NO REMORSE, calling family behind my back saying that i put poison on her cloths and can not get help because i am the one in her mind who is crazy!! i am sooo done, no contact for my new years resolution, and its been a month of no contact so far!!
It does in court. The Parkland murderer was deprived of the death sentence because one of the jurors decided to hang the sentence and caused it to commute to life.
I think his attorneys were FOUL-ass narcissists. It disgusted me to the core.
The isolation tactics, if you're with a very smart narc, are often quite subtle and sneaky, and there is often a bit of truth in them. Example: you have issues with your family of original, so the narc will exploit that and use it to push for you to self-isolate. Another one is starting fights anytime you want to spend time with others - the fights can be with you or with them, but the end result is that you end up feeling like it's not worth it to always put yourself or others in the line of fire just to spend time with them. It's not always as bold or explicit as "I don't want you to spend any time with X."
Was with my ex narc husband for thirty years. I always knew something was terribly wrong with him. I thought I could “fix” him with love and prayer. He only got worse & abused me in every way including beatings usually while drunk. He would hurt my pets & wait for my reaction, seeming to delight in my anguish. He finally discarded me for an alcoholic girlfriend he met on a dating site after depleting all the family financial resources. I was able to keep the family home & now he has been through multiple failed relationships. It’s scary to think of him lurking out there on internet dating sites looking for a new victim.
10:28 - Accusations = Confessions
Best explanation. Bless you. 👑♥️🙏
Oh there never wrong. Are you kidding me? Very true.
I was kidnapped by a narcopath when I was three. My life was never the same again. I want to believe the person is sick, and not evil. But they could be both. I'm 47, and better, but still really messed up.
Mine is 81 and came in last week to declare he had a warrior’s mindset, wasn’t self reflective and had no curiosity about others. Yep. I’ve known that for years. His therapist told him and he was proud of it. His get out of jail free card. Just how he was and we had to deal with it. I almost laughed - he had no idea he was describing himself as a malignant narc. Im now staying even further away.
I was married to a malignant Narcissist, I didn't realize it until I got out and did my research. He was very dangerous to be around and would rage at me and beat me, it was awful and you are right they don't get better, I'm very fortunate I didn't loose my life in that situation I was in, they are really sneaky so be careful, I would be sitting down watching TV, he would come out of no where and start fist fighting me among other things, get out if you can run
Yessss!!! I did run away!!! Best thing I did in my life
My mother victimized herself in this way...she had us very young,,and we saw her through the eyes becoming this monster and hating us...well we have stepped away and she has realized that, that was nobody else's but her life,,it was her trashy life..all that drama and sadness was centered around her eyes,,in her malignant way she hid this big identity of hers in church and GOD...sure enough God has been understanding and there for her in her sadness..everyone has stepped away and I mean none now expect it asks of anything from her.....
Ah well. we all go out of this world alone. Good luck Narcs lol
Thanks Jim that’s what I was married to for twenty three years when the discard phase started, it was terrifying almost demonic dangerous especially with a seven year old son, and a ten year old son. We are still bruised but it’s better every day. And it has been ten years since the divorce! Thanks again ❤️
It is demonic it’s not a mental health issue
I could write a book! I tried to let it go and forget, but I think God wants me to learn from it
A spit on accurate description. There are patterns that must be acknowledged & identified before a victim of one can begin escaping the hell of being targeted by one.
This describes a former friend of mine to the letter, after discovering he had been playing head games for years intentionally triggering reactions to exploit and control. He saw nothing wrong with it, and of course attempted to gaslight me with lies and distortions, actually blamed me, etc. I cut him off about a year ago, and have never felt better about taking such an action.
Not just a disregard of feeling attacks on it. They arent mostly neglectful they attack and are vindictive they enjoy hurting and causing pain.
Jim, this explanation was just excellent! Very well done, thanks so much!
If narcs are made, how come they all have same pattern?
After one relationship with a narc (I didn’t know anything about narc until 2 weeks ago) I felt it was so strange during our relationship: my brain was literally foggy, chaos! My life turned upside down and I didn’t know what happened 😵💫😵💫😵💫
But now I understood that my mother is malignant/covert narc. It’s like scales fell off my eyes and all confusing pieces fell into place 😮 I’m the only child and my childhood was a nightmare! I lived in fear every day because I was her scapegoat and a true teller. I was physically and mentally abused. One thing I couldn’t understand was why she hit me when I didn’t do anything wrong: the answer is narc rage 😮💨
It feels really good to have names and that I’m not alone. I always knew something was wrong with her but I felt sorry for her past. But I guess I lived in denial and made all kind of excuses for everything I have been through. No wonder I got PTSD! I thought I burned out from work but now I think I have had PTSD as a child already. My stress sensitivity gets worse after every time I burnout 😔😔😔
Narcs will NOT change - ever! No matter what they tell you, if their lips are moving they are lying! I guess I need to grief and heal…
yes I too found out my parents were narcs after dealing with my step son who I speculate is covert malignant narcissist. I knew there was something mentally ill about him but could not pinpoint it. I watched videos, read books, etc and then one psychiatrist from a video suggested to me via email that he could be a covert malignant narc. I researched and researched and then discovered that my parents are narcs. I have not spoken or contacted my mother for about 30 years. My dad, I have not associated with him for about 7 years. My parents are divorced since I was 4, but both were abusive verbally, physically, etc..My mother allowed her bf when I was 3 to sexually molest me..he was an illegal Mexican in USA. ugh My dad allowed his second wife to abuse me. It is crazy weird that I did not grow up narcissist too, but I was taught by my grandmother about Jesus Christ. I love the scripture where Vengeance belongs to God, He will repay. I was taught that if I repay the abuse to them then I am just as guilty. If I wait on Jesus Christ, then I am rewarded for being obedient and submissive to Jesus. Also those who have abused me will have to suffer the consequences with Jesus ..they will have to answer to Him for their sins. This has helped me to heal. For years before I would have them in my life trying to form a relationship and finally had to let them go and have no contact with them entirely. These videos help me to see that I was right for walking away from the drama and abuse that these evil people have caused me. My dad claims to be a Christian and my mom practices witchcraft, yet they do not see how they are in the wrong and they never will. It hurts that they have never apologized to me, but it is because they are evil and children of satan. In the bible it states ...when our mother and father forsakes us..Yahweh will always be there for us. And yes He has in my life and He can too in yours as well.
Im sorry thats been your experience. You likely have C-PTSD. The C stands for complex. Be grateful you didnt turn out like your mother. I hope you are able to heal from all that you didnt deserve. Children are hard wired to believe everything that hapoens in their little worlds is their fault. Its not your fault! Theres no such thing as a "bad kid"!
Healing your inner child is a for real thing and its beautiful. Very healing. One of the most awesome tools for healing also is forgiveness. Forgiving yourself firstly. Maybe for ever blaming yourself or for carrying things that werent yours to carry, for example. I hooe you know you are worthy and deserving of love and that is hard to see when those, especially the ONE thats supposed to love and care about you didnt do that. It wasnt ever your fault ❤❤❤
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You hit the nail on the head. I can't prove to anyone the things you've said...i just sound paranoid...or crazy...and I know this particular person is happy with that. I've had to learn that the ones who this particular MN targets are those he perceives as weak and controllable people--or finds their weaknesses and works it to his advantage. They have to see what is happening, for themselves, in their own time. I can't say much more...
I just wish that more people knew this when they ask--- "why doesn't/didn't that woman just leave?" ---but you have to be that woman/man, whatever the case may be----to truly understand the layers involved there.----there is no "just" leaving. She either doesn't defend herself and winds up dead, in an oil drum, or in jail, where she sits watching that same documentary, --- after trying to "just" leave--- and loses everyone and everything---- because she did defend herself. Left wondering if maybe that woman in the oil drum had the better outcome...after all, she wouldn't have to explain the reason why she didn't "just" anything. Her girls died with her that day, but people seem more satisfied that the story ends there and they get to cry for her then. And not satisfied when another ---tried to "just" leave.
You couldn't have explained it better.
I wish I had known myself beforehand, that monsters don't always exist in a nightmare or make-believe- under your bed. I have always tried to see the best in people, but there are the ones that don't have the capability to acknowledge the existence of it, so deep in their insecurities that they eventually crush everyone in their path without remorse, the belief that everyone should bow down and give them the big ol' thumbs up and say "you're a god, we love you!" And then thank him for the honor. I mean he deserves it right?
Wow, not allowed to speak truth
This is helpful because the one I was dealing with, he played the victim but in a tactful way .. very cunning and insidious. I don't think he was just a covert narcissist at all. He had the confidence and charm but wasn't just an overt narcissist either.
My malignant narcissist is the paternal grandmother to my son
I didn’t release I trapped in a abusive relationship. I work so hard to grow myself and become the best person I could be in when I got to the point of where I thought I was absolutely perfect three years and she was still super mean to me like I did nothing so I looked deeper into it she’s a therapist and she has a DSM in the house so I went to the DSM and personality disorders and I found npd and my stomach dropped and I realize that this is exactly what’s going on. I broke down and told her and seeing how delusional and how did I know I broke down and told her I knew exactly what was going on and I knew that she knew and she needs help and I still love her and I want her to get help but she denies it and it’s just completely delusional and now I’ve landed on this but she’s actually a malignant narcissist, and I need to figure out what the last three years was. I’m Lucky god put this newly found spirit inside of me, and every sign and everything I needed to know to get out of this relationship. It’s really amazing how it worked. I’m looking a the whole thing As I learned so much and I will never be with another person like this again now I totally understand I didn’t know people like this existed
They wanted you to obey them and they used fear to gaslight and you.. This is still struggle for me until now coz I still feel empathy for them but my mind and body is feeling the traumatic experience such as headaches and stomach pain whenever I see or remember him.
Everything you have said about the Malignant Narcissist rings 100% true for my ex.... since educating myself about narcissism I believed he was a malignant narcissist. Your video has really defined the dark triad combo Narcissist for me. I've saved and downloaded this video to watch any time I start missing him
So true. Exactly Exactly spot on!!!
My mother in law has the pathology. She had 6 children, my wife being the youngest. They all many problems understandably . My wife had to get therapy and she is amazing because of the work she has done . Cutting to the chase , my mother in law is a total POS !
Thank you 🙏🏽
Been dating a man 52 yr old a little over a year. Very quickly I noticed he had a lot of Rage especially road rage while driving then I noticed a lot of lying from where he was during the day to what he ate. He told me he owed a business and house that part was somewhat true and false. He lost everything do to not paying taxes in 2017. Yet he in his head is delusional believes he still has his business and house. He has always been the aggressive bully type and somewhat verbally abusive mostly towards me without merit. He has never shown me affection isn’t sexual hates to kiss and never love Bombed me so I’m unsure what he suffers from. Hes not charming and when we first met wouldn’t make any eye contact with me and sat sideways next to me yet kept calling me for dates. Hes the type feels the would is against him and is jealous when he sees other men doing well in business will go as far as to sabotage jobs against his own family and best friends so they lose jobs. Talks random stories about being accused falsely by police of robbery and always claims someone has stolen money from him. Something is always missing from his pocket. Feels the entire world is out to get him or stick it to him. Has Amnesia to how many times he’s been married and to whom. Quickly the big lies I started noticing he told me he was robbed of his ROLEX WATCH later he changed it to a Kenneth cole watch then back to a Rolex. Then he said he had bought his kids cars when they each turned 18. When I asked his kids they looked at me like I was crazy. He also told me he bought his son and daughter-in-law a house when I asked them about it they said nobody helped them at all. He also told me during covid he was food shopping weekly for his elderly ex in laws. Later I had asked his daughter and she said the elderly in law’s died 20 years Prior. I honestly don’t know what to make of this man. I recently left him after finding out he still lives with his separated wife on her sofa. Since then I asked him for answers to all his deceptions and he had his Ex call me cursing me and threatening to slash my face and attack me break my jaw and she supposed to be a lawyer. I have no clue why this women is attacking me or who she is. All of this because I demanded answers to where he lives full time and about all the lying during this past year together. Is this a narcissist???
I’m extremely confused and emotional drained. I had to block him. I’m not sure what I’m dealing with and he many times has said crazy things and threatened to have me arrested saying I have his clothes and personal stuff Now he has strange women calling me threatening my life.
Whatever he is, he is incredibly toxic and dangerous. As a starter, road rage is incredibly dangerous and an obvious sign of narcissism. In the future, break off contact with someone with the first signs of toxic behavior.
Yes! They dude is messed up in his head! Run like the wind blows and dont look back. I know you want to trust him but you cant! Its so bizarre its hard to believe its real. Believe me, its real! Do yourself a favor and get far far away from him! Its hard telling what lies he is telling his ex. But she seems a lil off kilter too...
Yes, I’m in probate with a malignant narcissist former sister. She is as described. Her most recent endeavor, was to unilaterally decide she was the plaintiff and not the defendant. The law doesn’t recognize that. However, she’s made it clear, throughout the case, that she is disinterested in the law.
😂Thank you Jim,
what an incredibly informative video. you’re amazing ❤️
sounds exactly like the leader of a social group I belonged to. He was so abusive to myself and other members. Need for power and control especially when others are getting accolades he was right there making sure he diffused that situation or took the praise for himself. When He organized a smear campaign with other members against me and then intern gaslighted and abused me. He took such extreme pleasure verbally abusing me. I quietly left the group thinking it will end but now I’m being stalked, phone hacked where deleted photos and years of text messages deleted. my computer is also being hacked. He has called from several other numbers and of course I don’t answer. I’ve moved on and will NEVER open that door it’s permanently closed. His Anger, rage ,being the victim all the time. His Child like responses, led him to tell me he can talk to me any which way he wanted and believes those who didn’t obey got punished. We were never in a relationship but I worked tirelessly for this group with zero respect and then told I just wanted praise😜. It’s true he was probably a victim of neglect and abuse but like you said trauma doesn’t excuse nor give him the right to abuse others. I don’t feel sorry for him at all he CHOSE not to heal.
Dana been there . Keep em out . I nearly died .cars come at me when on bike smeared stalked . He had dupers delight smirk ! Get away or get the old bill in ! Never be on own with these snakes !
With respect, and thank you to the men who are talking about this type, the descriptions can not touch the impact of the thinking and behaviours of this type.
I can not listen or watch women talking about the mothers with this type.
I thought that it was me who was at fault as a daughter. It can be very painful. Facing it is ultimately key to healing.
Every word of what I'm hearing here is spot on. This guy has it down. My father was a malignant narcissist. He died last year, and had I known the mess he would leave in his wake, I would have left home and he would have never seen me again. The only difference I see here is that my father was coddled by his mother. She refused to discipline him. He was a replacement baby for his older brother, who died at 2. The other baby was perfect, and my father had a deformity. Now he's gone, and I'm grieving the only parent I grew up with, and he was awful.