My goodness i went through this for 10 years, never even realized how manipulative this was until i was out of the relationship, these people are truly SICK...............
Im dealing with1 now. Been going on for3months. Love bombing gaslights already, now its move on. So I will. Im getting bored with this madness. His story is changing constantly.
He used me to make the woman, who was living with him with her kids, jealous. I think he was falling in love with her while she was sexually involved with someone else. I believe she was using the man I was seeing because he told her he was going to leave her his house when he died.
Yes, it now makes sense why my husband said I deserve better-he was projecting how he felt about his AP (who is his boss and a married woman). Fucking garbage. Both of em.
Never go back. You will regret it. They will return for one last time to hurt you more. It will be really hurtful. THey have dark hearts of satans behavior.
oof! When he said "There's no place for you here," I walked away without a fuss, drove a few hundred miles and eventually had to pull-over and vomit. That was three years ago and I haven't been with anyone since.Oh sure, he did things to lure me back like posting things on his social media that harkened back to times we spent together, but he never reached-out directly. It was just more games and I eventually just stopped looking. I know I have PTSD because I have zero, I mean ZEE ROW tolerance for any behavior that even remotely resembles his in any kind of situation. I bristle with the slightest whiff of narcissistic b.s, now and have to do whatever to get away from the person as quickly as possible. I'm 54 now, so I'm thinking it's a wrap for 'relationships' and most days, hours, minutes and seconds I'm good with that, too, but of course there are moments I'm not......which is why I'm here.
My ex husband always said “ur a pretty girl, u can find someone new. Any man would love to be with u. You deserve better. It’s ok”. It’s very confusing but it feels good when u finally take their advice & leave them stumped seeing your glow up soon as u stop giving a fuxx about them 🙏🏽😌
Sometimes the hard truth is they’re just not into you anymore and really want you to MOVE ON bc they actually find you annoying and unattractive. Harsh truth and very triggering but also a reality that ppl must be aware of to avoid false hope and delusions.
Lmao such a delusion over here and trying to make the victim feel worse. Everyone who saw throught their bs is suddenly "unattractive" so here it is a big plus.
I was literally told by him that my days are numbered. Really? Unlikely. I do not take kindly to threats. Firmly believe in karma a spiritual law that cannot be broken. Truth is he truly never cared. Run Ron Ron. Never looking back.
Tips? Gay or straight a narc is a narc. I don’t have tips. I was at the bottom of the pit. I spoke my heart. Cried like a baby. Begged. I did it all. Then I got pissed and spoke my mind. My truth that was always denied. Then the healing began. I caused a narcissistic injury. It’s called reactive abuse and it’s ugly and as hurtful as the narcissist. I don’t suggest it. Just delete. Block. Remember the good. And never look back. It was all a fairytale. Bottom line: we meant nothing to them. We were a stepping stool they never put away. Got what they needed off the shelf and moved on to a new room.
Yes mine was like that so heartless etc etc he had someone else!! But it didn’t work out karma tried to contact me he’s blocked on everything for two years now!!
My wife did and is doing this currently.. Zero fight for the marriage.. Just ok we’re done and I have nothing else to talk about.. Total silence from her, her only words were move on with your life
Twisted individuals. The fact that each move is calculated (sometimes subconsciously, sometimes not) means you have to read between the lines with each and every word. It’s a total power play - get as far away from these sick people as you can. Peace resides where madness does not…. Take your sanity & the goodness of your soul & get the fuck away from them. They will destroy you if you don’t.
Just started.. I’m so scared. I have become such a shell of a person and I’m so full of anxiety now that I don’t even know how to leave without panicking 😔
@@ashleynicole38 don't be afraid of them try to be nice Don't fight with them and argue alot just stand up and tell them it's not working out.Then get away and go no contact.If you have any problems after that call the police on them.They are twisted con artist,manipulative and crooked.Get away from them.
This happened a couple months in. We were discussing an issue that arose and when he suggested me move on, I was stunned. I thought it was me, didn’t react, left and he came back. Then the real torture cycles began.
@@RawMotivations but why is it never in the way you hope? She’ll txt me after years but not look for any sort of conversation, even a cordial one. and she’ll stalk me online, check in what I’m doing. Just always disappointment
@@RawMotivations also if i ll move on then what? Is that going to hurt him. Im dealing with one 3 months now. Getting literally bored with his mind games. He said he loves me but I need to move on blah blah yet he comes to see me few times a week and buys me things. Walking contradiction
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Yes. This is exactly how my situation ended. His bluff game didn’t trigger me to run towards him because I was already aware of overt and covert narcissism. I immediately went no contact and blocked him in every way. That was like 3 years ago and I’m so glad I stayed away.
My relationship has given me a deep understanding of Stockholm syndrome. I went from complete interaction and thought control to sudden freedom. I feel like somebody who just got out of prison and is overwhelmed by the freedom.
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I did move on and he still stalked me. I give no fucks about him and I love my life without him!! Guess he didn't see that coming huh? #nocontactstrong! They think your gonna beg and fight for them, they need to be wanted. 19 years with a covert narcissist. "If you need to Google their actions. That's a RED FLAG!"
It means vanish like a thief in the night. Block and delete them from everything and live your life without them. I still have some residual anger and resentment, so I have some healing to do myself. The best option is disappearance.
No doctor therapist can take away 54 years of heartache. MY life is constantly moving on. Forever changing yet constant. Apparently I can now officially say... suck my... MN BREACHING BRITCHES LOST MY JOB DUE TO POLITICIANS AND POLICE BARGANING BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. THAT IS RECORDS I HAVE YET YTO ACQUIRE. YEP. HEARTRENCHED A CATASTROPHIC INJURY. BROKEN FINANCIALLY AND NOW HOMELESSS. HE STILL THINKS HE IS WINNING. HOW DOES THE FRAUD PERPETRATORS COLLECT MY INHERITANCE CHANGE PAPERW9RK ILLEGALLY KEEPS MY MAIL DAILY BR3ACHED MY BIRTH RECORDS AND STOLE $330000+ UNAUTHORIZED WITHDRAWLS AND ILLEGAL ACCESS TO MY BANK ZERO RESOLUTION. WORKED MY ASS OFF FOR CRUMBS. MR MAYOR YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY ATTORNEY MR CONFLICT OF INTEREST. Where is my 1994 shares stole. My Eebond stole. Intent is everything literally could write a screenplay of my life. Struggles to prove that I am strong and beautiful I l9ve me. Thankfully survived.
And A CAR ILLEGALLY TRADED BACK WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE NOT OK. No that's not the original estate. EXCUSE ME FRAUD A CAR IS NOT A HOME. I CANNOT LIVE IN MY CAR BRITCHES. FRAUD ASSES.
Married 23 years and divorcing because his narcissism was getting worse. Emailed him to get financial statements. Sent me an attachment that was a pic of him and his female student tenant posed to look like they were a couple (laughable, because they weren't) Husband told me 'to move on like he did'. Lawyer not impressed and threatened him with restraining order and told him to provide the info. When a narc tells you to move on it is to avoid accountability.
Yep. I went through this. Just substitute the him for a her. She also always threatened to print out the divorce papers when I would stand up for myself.......
My ex knew I figured him out. Years ago I told him he was a covert narcissist, he said bottle it up. He already knew. We were in touch years later, he was homeless. I was able to get him through three surgeries, and found him an apartment. I couldn’t handle the stress, the lies. He was smearing me with neighbors I had never met. I’m out . He has a long road ahead of him.
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I am with a narcissist, and he just recently discarded me and advised me we're not dating anymore. We're just gonna hang out from time to time and I told him never.
I got to the point of realizing that I don't want to be with anyone that doesn't want to be with me. So I moved on. Mever threatened him before that turning point, but once I got there it was concrete. An hour before I reached that point I had no idea or intention of leaving. I was willing to keep investing in the crazy making, hoping for him to change.
going through this rn, little does he know that I am planning on moving on, I am almost all of the way packed and in 11 days I will be 1,000 miles away, ensuring that I do not return. Best wishes for anyone that needs it.
In later stages of the relationship she would literally warn me sending me messages like, ' Please leave me alone so I can get help as your triggering me all the time..And i shouldn't be in a realtionship as hurt people hurt people , and I want you to be happy eith somebody else...'
mine have said usually during arguments.... 'we shouldn't have got married', 'i let some people go because of you', 'you are pretty woman, an older guy will like you' (he is actually much older than me), 'I am committed to this relationship, you decide what you want to do...' (while really not putting any heavy repair work after betrayals), 'I don't see this working out', but when I come up and say 'well it looks like it's not working out between us', he starts arguing about it. But majority of the time he treats me indifferently.
Basic reverse psychology?! Mine told me several times to leave and that I was “done”! Then things would just go back to “normal” as if nothing ever happened. I finally agreed with him and got out! It’s not been smooth sailing, with death threats to me, our pets, my property, etc. and police involvement. Even though he told me to get out, when I did, he’s now the victim. 🤦♀️
Appreciate you sharing your story. It must have been really tough. I'd love to invite you to our free masterclass where you can learn how to break free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
I walked out after 24 years and I told him tell people what you like as I couldn’t care less what your friends and family think of me ! Later whilst discussing the sale of the house he said to me “ I shouldn’t have let you go 😂😂😂😂reverse discard ? Best thing I ever did !
In the last message he ever sent to me where he was still being kind of loving, he said I could do better than him in every way and that he was a very bad man. That I would make a very good wife to.someone someday, but he was "very, very bad". This is insane... This is EXACTLY what is going on. He has been actively ignoring me for 2 weeks and I have been obsessed with him and messaging him EVEN THOUGH I ACTUALLY BROKE UP WITH HIM FIRST. I keep thinking, "what am I doing? I broke up with him, I was tired of his lying and cheating and now I am chasing after him?"
Run run run , I’m actually going through something similar but he started chasing me and gets mad when I ignore him at church , i don’t call or text him at all and he’s asking me to come over now and me being stupid I go and I be feeling so stupid and dumb for putting myself back in this same situation again after 6 months of love bombing me and then ghosting me and now he’s back with his love bombing again smh
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this happened to me and i knew it was a manipulation. But it's so sick! I'm not entering a relationship to play these games, but they are. Thanks for opening these topics to really dissect what goes on in this addictive dynamic and how it is possible to get trauma bonded, against every reason. Because it is very non-obvious to anyone outstanding, and for a longer time even to the people involved. 🙏 People just don't bother to understand, oversimplify and downplay it, and in this way wrong the "victims".
The nuance hits a little differently when it isn't done in the discard phase, to be sure. I believe that when this method is used in a stage of the cycle of an abusive relationship other than the Discard stage, there are typically other dynamics at play within the relationship that the abuser knows will make it almost impossible for the victim to leave; a different object to use as leverage when they know you know the relationship has become toxic or unhealthy. That leverage could be something such as financial leverage (loss of prestige or status, the threat of homelessness & poverty, etc.) or relational leverage (reputation, custody of children, friends, family connections, etc.). It might even be something like not being able to leave because they can't guarantee themselves alternate accommodation that will allow them to take a beloved pet with them, or the animal is registered to the abuser. The name of this strategy escapes me but it's the one where the abuser is making it seem like the victim has a choice, but really it is not freedom of choice at all. And the victims are compelled to do what the abusers want regardless of how negatively they feel about it. The abuser will not need to worry about the love bombing phase anymore to win the victim back because they know the victim isn't going anywhere else soon. Whatever the leverage is, generally it'll herald a new level of hell for the victim.
I never knew he was like this until someone told me he sounds like a narc and I started seeing his behavior and reaction so dismissive towards me and of cheated been separated a month now and he would txt me all this kind of stuff that it was all my fault but now he doesn’t txt me anymore especially on the weekends when he’s out with someone only when it’s convenient for him . I’m learning to just ignore him and trying my best to move forward..
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Telling someone to move on is just forcing narrative assumption that the other person is the one causing problems, that you don't want to move on, that you don't want to get away.
My narc seemed upset when he "thought" I moved on. I didn't deny or correct him. I blocked him and I supposed I did move on. Then what happened to him when I moved on and didn't return, stay or chase? He thought I was going to chase him. Ha! Nope.
What the hell?? He actually DID tell me this and I was confused why he was telling me this back when I was with him. I didnt get it. And I would tell him "no, why would I move on? I love you. I dont have eyes for anyone else but you" and he would say "well, I know your family would rather have you marry a doctor" and I would a million times say, I DONT WANT THAT, I WANT YOU!! or he would say "well, you should probably get with a guy who is already all set, i know you want kids, a family, and a house so badly. I cant give you that. you dont seem happy with me" i dont know if this was all trying to mess with my head or he was genuine because he would start off saying "you should move on" but then he start the next sentence so vindictively and make me feel bad. and honestly, when he said that, I DID try harder to show him no one else would get between us, even my family, friends, church. More loyal and act more jealous around other girls to show I really really want him. Cuz if I didnt express jealously, it would tell him I didnt care. I hated that. I would overly react when he said all the above to me. .....it was all a control tactic and I didnt even know it. It makes me so angry. I dont want to feel like this, but knowing the truth make me so angry at him. He was trying to keep me trapped. I kept running back and tried so hard to make it work with him, just like you said, it was addictive and I would have horrible withdrawls. I have been 9 months no contact, and I FEEL SO FREE!!! I had the strength to block and not speak to him and NOT go back this time. Thank you GOD! 🙏🙏
It's been 1 week tomorrow, no contact. He was blocked from contacting me. I'm still healing and it will take time, but he and his friends who fought for him will never be allowed to hurt me again.
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My Narcissist husband asked me to move out of our house after 53 yrs of marriage. Been together since I was 18 yrs old. I didn’t go, he did as I refused. He was very controlling to a point it made me ill. See his house in the same village from my front door. If I had gone, it would have saved his reputation and people would have seen a different side of him. Now people see straight through him. He has been gone 4 yrs now, so would have been 57 yrs of marriage.
He would tell me he doesn't want a relationship, he won't love me the way I need to be loved, things have changed, we forcing issues, we don't understand each other, he can't be with someone who has different views from him, 5 years I tolerated this, begged him to STOP and then I decided to Leave
I fought for the relationship. “Relationship”. I got told for a year “let me clear my head. No calls. No text. Let me clear my head!” And “what you don’t know is I do want this to work but you won’t let me clear my head”. All this. This treatment towards me knowing I was just out of beating stage 4 cancer. Death of my dog. And refusal to let me see the dog we had adopted. I even kept my final promise and moved to his apt complex when the goal was we would move in together. Whatever this was. It was evil. Even promised to come to therapy and never came. Again “wanted it to work”. Recorded calls. Had monkeys and mom listening. My reactive abuse allowed him to win. Two years and still blocked and ghosted and no proof he left to be with someone new. Not cuz I look. Mutual friends we had have fun into me.
One more thing. I still don’t understand this: him saying “you hurt me, and they don’t know my side of the story. They only know what you tell them making me the bad guy!” Really? I did nothing but love him unconditionally. Stayed after he cheated and not into cheated but invited the guy and the friends that all knew. Why not just dump me and celebrate with them and the new guy. The new guy is the one that told me. The next day. The whole situation was lies. From “oh a dark spirit in my closet made me cheat it didn’t want me to be with you”. Psychotic. Why I stayed I can’t answer. I was better than this nonsense and saw right through it. I was going to prove love existed I guess. “Love him harder”. “Love him through his bs”. I’m over it now. I just miss the dog we adopted. Note: he did run back to two exes before me and took him out for his bday. Not back together that I’m aware of. His exes befriended me. They helped me heal actually. Narcissist do not love. The ex he had the gull to take out, he got his student loans paid for by him and then left him. Never paid him back. They say narcissist always come back. I am blocked and ghosted. Almost 3 years. I just don’t see mine ever reaching out. Not even a “want to watch the dog” or “hey I don’t want to rekindle anything I just wondered how your health is”. He’s a medical administrator/nurse. I’ll never understand this. And I don’t have to.
I said to my ex gf that I still loved her……..and she replied “please don’t” . I think that is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me
My narc ex and I had a stupid fight initiated by him. We didn't talk a whole weekend. When I saw him he told me he still cared about me still misses me but was never coming back. I told him I didn't think it best we didn't talk then. He called me dramatic but good luck with your life. After watching videos about narcissists I realize they say "I'm done, it's over, I'm never coming back......but I still really care and I miss you when you're not around" equates to ...I found new supply but don't know if it's going to work out BUT I told you I care about and miss you SO if I come back you'll think this is SO romantic that I couldn't be without you" he's done it before. It's been over a month and my anxiety has been high because I know he's going to be back. Sooner rather than later.
I had this said to me once and I did move on The narcissist then said if I tell you to stick your hand in a fire will you do it? No accountability for what was said to me Zero
THE MORE I LISTEN TO THIS GUY THE MORE I REALIZE HOW VERY FORTUNATE I AM THAT I WAS ABLE TO PEEP DUDE'S GAME AFTER ABOUT 2 WEEKS, even though i KNEW NOTHING about this disorder. i'm a very sensitive person, all i need to know is...i...FELT...his behavior was abusive. and i KNEW it was UNACCEPTABLE!!!! i did NOT know what i was dealing with. NOW i do! ...end result: DUECES!!!!!
But up until I found out about her he lied about seeing someone else and was asking to take me out etc but once I found out about her he was completely about her
He told me i derserve so much better man than i recently heard he cheated on me. When i knew he cheated on me, i dumped him right away. I will never give chance that he pretend "good person"
What he meant to do is destroy me. He spent twice as many years with me than his original family. After everything we shared all he cared about is hurting me as much as possible. He was getting back at his stepmother and stepsister and any girl would do. Maybe someday I will get my sanity back. Not yet a year after divorce my anxiety has gone way down. I have 2 great therapists and they confirmed all my suspicions that it isn’t fixable Trust your gut.
When my toxic ex broke up with me. Right after she told me she moved on but never cheated or lied to me bla bla bla. Her words were moved on with her life and blamed me and told me good luck. All after ignoring the actual incident where she blew up on me for saying something didnt make sense
She has been gone for almost three months.I have already excepted my mistakes for loving and helping my exgirlfreind malignant narcissist.I excepted the mistakes I made and take responsibility for them.I realize I was in love with her but she could never stay in love with me for a long period of time.She would just love bomb me then devalue me,cheat on me insult me the leave me and not tell me anything just disappear.Then hoover me go through the cycle again.Thats not real love.Thats just using me to get things.Never caring for me and giving me no empathy.Also not helping me and growing in any kind of relationship.Everything was about her ,. Everything was competitive games to win at Instant gradification..You have to focus on yourself She hurt me real bad but I'm getting over all of it I know I will be okay I'm focused on me and my needs.I want someone to care about me and my feelings I have a life to live and I'm getting my joy and happiness back.👍💯🙂.So everyone love yourself and do things that make you happy.Everyone in a relationship with a narcissist needs to understand something..Why should you love work so much and exhaust yourself so much and the Narcissist's cheats,lies,insults you,bully's you steals things from you,breaks the law and don't give you much in return Just alot of abuse and problems.Love yourself and build yourself back up.Take care everyone.👍🙂💯
Excellent observations & you're absolutely spot on! I think it's important to focus not so much on the mistakes you made because remember they always had an agenda and it was a failed project from the start. She was incapable of loving you the way that you deserved & everything you ever experienced with her was fake. She knew that - you didn't! We need to ask ourselves some serious questions- why we tolerate their BS and why we desperately seek the love and validation from them when we should be validating and loving ourselves first! I wish you all the best with your healing journey.
My ex narc never said this but this video was really helpful in understanding his behaviour and why he said other statements. Such as he used to say if we ever broke up I'd go from abusive relationship to abusive relationship full well knowing I had history of being abused. I now realise he was trying to trigger me and fear his abandonment and keep me triggered and trapped. Very informative 👏
My ex keeps in contact and asked why is she seeking a relationship again after back fourth everyweek she offered friendship i rejected it and said im only interested in romantic relationship i said thank you for the closure and said goodbye. This is the happiest day as she never answered any questions and when she said i should find another woman and only offer friends i was thankful for the closure as i can walkaway happy now as see its just games. Ive never been the contactor its her so she made her self look really stupid
Just wanted to throw this out there, not only is this an excellent video and I told you how much I have grown in strength because of your educational videos. But I also wanted to Applaud, you on that background …yes yes yes. Awesomeness.!!!💪💖
Your spot on he did this to me consistently and continuously. I could never explain it like you just have. You have given me a new vocabulary identifying my life with him. I can’t tell you how much your videos are helping us all. You explain it exactly how it was. I’m so grateful my ex narc is out of my life and my Childrens.
Asking for answers on a text because in person equals silence, he said I know where the door is. Part of him knows I am out of my denial. I can’t think straight yet.. reeling. These are patterns that are never changing…
She told me this 5mos ago. Just before discard. I of course gave 1000 reasons why not. She won that mind match & got good reaction. What i didnt realize was SHE was in process of moving on behind my back w new supply she was grooming all along. 8yrs gone when she discarded me out of blue. Now she smear campaign me online and is the total victim!
I just got dumped by a narcissist he told some such Crap& I knew it was complete crap what he was saying .. I’m sure he’s got someone else or someone he might have his eye …so I’m really not sure just guessing..He then thought it was still OK to keep following each other WTF on instagram 😳 hell noooooo The last thing he got from me was the whatever emoji.. I think he thought I’d start begging and pleading with him he got nothing and that was about 3 weeks ago …Yeah it hurts but life goes on whatever …. done
@@di_decaire Absolutely my friend he was nothing but lying trailer trash complete dumpster fire who lied & had sex with anything he could get his hands on … I hope whoever’s got him now doesn’t get ruined by him.. Everything he liked about me that I was smart,pretty,funny, good career strong character good morals & values he ended up hating me for those qualities.. Selfish cruel rude disgusting pig of a man… I hope he gets his one day and he will what goes around comes around…
Ahh yes, I remember 2 years into our relationship we were talking about our future one day and he verbatim said he wants to be with me forever then the next day like clockwork he was cold and told me "you know I wouldn't mind if you dated someone else, if you want to go I just want you to know I wouldn't mind and It wouldn't hurt me" I was like.... you wouldn't care or be hurt at all if your GF just up and goes and dates someone new today?? WHAT? Then of course he flipped it and said "wooowww what you'd WANT me to be upset?! You'd want me to be sad and hurt? That's messed up Amanda what's wrong with you?" Such head games
My heart is bleeding. Discarde 12:02 d in december. And he told me to find someone else and be happy! Left me with a 2 year old boy. He used all my savings. Had to sleep on the floor for 2 months to get enough money for a flat........ My heart stopped. He was acting weird. Talking to someone on the phone and stopped whenni came near. Found a picture of him and nother lady wrapped in his closet. Boasted to his friend about his rich cousin. I looked after him and his foster children financially for 3 years. They did not even say goodbye. And i hate myself. For being me.
Please know, this pain will pass too. One day you will see the blessing in this. Keep on pushing through and do not look back! Coming from a fellow, my ex husband dumped me over the phone After 12 years. I am now happy and engaged, he became very sick...
My ex contacted me a month after we broke up and NC asking if we could be "sex friends" I kept my dignity and declined only to find out shes got a new guy smh. I called her out for who she is and told her to never contact me again. She's since proceeded to stalk me last 3 weeks.
@@windrock right. Like as if they now what's mature with throwing tantrums when something isn't going their way etc. It's actually funny when it wouldn't be so sad
Omg thank u so much.i been obsessively watching these videos but people covered discard but not the you should move on. Ironically i thought he meant it when he said i shud move on as in he has no further use for me and was hoping i would break it off. This is such a weight off my shoulders to know it was a snare that backfired in his face. You have helped me beyond what i can express. Subscribed! 😊❤
I was told! ' you not have purpose for me anymore!'... those words said it all for me. Hes blocked and deleted for ever. Still trying to get over but working on that now. Taking time off and reflecting how stupid I was beleiving that he might have any feelings
Mine told me when she left in a defensive comment shifting blame and shame on me, told me i confuzed myself and fooled myself and ruined it. I still have no idea exactly what i did in the moment to do this or cause this
My ex told we are simple not meant to be and was time to end he thought i was going to fight that i said ok ur right this was months after discard and he already been married but was trying to make me keep is old rented place i told him no so i left
Omg Ben, I am almost 1 year post my narcissistic relationship, he did everything bad on the scale 10 fold. But this literally just happened to me! He ghosted me in February after having a breakup last Sept, he kept hoovering more or less. Then in Feb I finally spoke my peace, set boundaries regarding his disrespect. He didn’t like that. And then he ghosted me since. I reached out a cpl mths ago to let him know my mom has stage 4 cancer, I told him I missed the friend I had in him prior to the relationship. He responds a cpl weeks later saying he wants nothing to do with me, he has no love for me, I repulse him, and if I reach out again he will get a no contact order. Um we were so in love and the mask slipped, and I did everything to make him happy including moving 800 miles to be with him, and he changed his mind 24 hours later. Back to the topic, do you think he meant this recent text, or is this manipulation? This vid hit me hard. Help Ben! This JUST HAPPENED to me!
I know it sucks to hear this & deal with this… but move on, somehow someway. It could be a manipulation tactic… to hurt you, put you on the back burner for later because he has no use for you now, it could be a projection, or a combo. Regardless of the reason, you deserve better than that.
Just to hurt you out of control 🤦♀️ remember they have no higher emotions ❤️🩹 operate out of fear rage envy revenge & denial 👩 it’s misogyny… you were a standing for the mother he couldn’t separate from & he became your parent in the shared delusion 🥲 good cop & bad cop both sick cop
Sound like manipulation. Let's work on you getting free. I'm here to support you on your healing journey. If you need assistance, please schedule a one-on-one session with me at www.rawmotivations.com
@@sth1399 I don’t want to be friends with him. I had a weak moment when I found out my mom has terminal cancer, and that particular day I was in a real bad place. Emotionally and don’t know what possessed me to reach out. The reason I spoke my mind in February when he claimed he wanted to try and be friends, was because he started devaluing me a day after my grandma passed, and it actually happened the night of my daughters high school graduation dinner. It was all about her and his self righteous evil words made me lash out and tell him exactly what I thought of him. Also when we were together I had a cancer scare myself and he ghosted me for 2 weeks not knowing my biopsy results and his excuse was that I had disrespected him. Ruminating happens and it’s so hard, why I continue to watch these videos and interact because I need to keep it in the forefront that what I thought was my soulmate, was really one of the devil’s minions, and it was all fake. The fake is the hardest part to this day for me. But I know it. Hope that all made sense lol
My narc did this to me about a month ago after I seen him had sex with him then he ghosted me an I’ve been looking for him but he has me blocked on everything so I called him from my sister phone && he told me he moved back to his hometown an telling me to move on with my life…basically saying we’re done 💔 I feel so used an stupid about everything
Who cares , what they say or do?Get away and stay away from these crazy people.
My goodness i went through this for 10 years, never even realized how manipulative this was until i was out of the relationship, these people are truly SICK...............
You are not alone, it happened to me for 6.5 years
Im dealing with1 now. Been going on for3months. Love bombing gaslights already, now its move on. So I will. Im getting bored with this madness. His story is changing constantly.
Me too a decade of HELL.
It is because they have someone else they think is better for their benefit at the moment. Their interest is with the new person.
He used me to make the woman, who was living with him with her kids, jealous. I think he was falling in love with her while she was sexually involved with someone else. I believe she was using the man I was seeing because he told her he was going to leave her his house when he died.
It's always for their benefit.
This is true. They have moved on and it’s easy to say it.
Bluffing usually so they can have upperhand and get you to chase so they can squeeze put more validation and attention from you.
Yes, it now makes sense why my husband said I deserve better-he was projecting how he felt about his AP (who is his boss and a married woman). Fucking garbage. Both of em.
He told me I should be with someone else and left me, and bcz I’m a good wife, I actually did. And now I’m deeply in love with the new person. ❤❤
This is why it’s better to just leave entirely, and let them explain why! They’re going to anyhow! Just make sure that you never ever ever go back!
yes
Amen 🙏🙏❤❤
Never go back. You will regret it. They will return for one last time to hurt you more. It will be really hurtful. THey have dark hearts of satans behavior.
oof! When he said "There's no place for you here," I walked away without a fuss, drove a few hundred miles and eventually had to pull-over and vomit. That was three years ago and I haven't been with anyone since.Oh sure, he did things to lure me back like posting things on his social media that harkened back to times we spent together, but he never reached-out directly. It was just more games and I eventually just stopped looking. I know I have PTSD because I have zero, I mean ZEE ROW tolerance for any behavior that even remotely resembles his in any kind of situation. I bristle with the slightest whiff of narcissistic b.s, now and have to do whatever to get away from the person as quickly as possible. I'm 54 now, so I'm thinking it's a wrap for 'relationships' and most days, hours, minutes and seconds I'm good with that, too, but of course there are moments I'm not......which is why I'm here.
Yes vomit feel that daily. Puke...
Yes. Good for you. You did exactly what i want to do drive away as far as I can. Entire lifetime experience. I am just fine single. Amen.
Ohhh you sound just like me. ZERO TOLERANCE from anyone lol well know when it’s time to be with someone we know that we know NOW
My ex husband always said “ur a pretty girl, u can find someone new. Any man would love to be with u. You deserve better. It’s ok”. It’s very confusing but it feels good when u finally take their advice & leave them stumped seeing your glow up soon as u stop giving a fuxx about them 🙏🏽😌
My ex bf said those same words to me. He was such a mind f…er!
Sometimes the hard truth is they’re just not into you anymore and really want you to MOVE ON bc they actually find you annoying and unattractive. Harsh truth and very triggering but also a reality that ppl must be aware of to avoid false hope and delusions.
Yeah he told me to stop being a stupid b*tch and I am annoying af 😢
They are not into anyone they can’t love like a normal person
Lmao such a delusion over here and trying to make the victim feel worse. Everyone who saw throught their bs is suddenly "unattractive" so here it is a big plus.
I was literally told by him that my days are numbered. Really? Unlikely. I do not take kindly to threats. Firmly believe in karma a spiritual law that cannot be broken. Truth is he truly never cared. Run Ron Ron. Never looking back.
Love self first. Period.
Same as “it’s a breakup! Get over it! You think I haven’t been dumped before?! Get over it! Move on!” My ex did not care. Ghosted and blocked.
Lucky 👍
Tips? Gay or straight a narc is a narc. I don’t have tips. I was at the bottom of the pit. I spoke my heart. Cried like a baby. Begged. I did it all. Then I got pissed and spoke my mind. My truth that was always denied. Then the healing began. I caused a narcissistic injury. It’s called reactive abuse and it’s ugly and as hurtful as the narcissist. I don’t suggest it. Just delete. Block. Remember the good. And never look back. It was all a fairytale. Bottom line: we meant nothing to them. We were a stepping stool they never put away. Got what they needed off the shelf and moved on to a new room.
Yes mine was like that so heartless etc etc he had someone else!! But it didn’t work out karma tried to contact me he’s blocked on everything for two years now!!
@@caroleminke6116 No seriously! Lucky af cause a narcs “care” ain’t the Category you wanna be in ever as a matter fact …give us the tips 💯💯
My wife did and is doing this currently.. Zero fight for the marriage.. Just ok we’re done and I have nothing else to talk about.. Total silence from her, her only words were move on with your life
Twisted individuals. The fact that each move is calculated (sometimes subconsciously, sometimes not) means you have to read between the lines with each and every word. It’s a total power play - get as far away from these sick people as you can.
Peace resides where madness does not…. Take your sanity & the goodness of your soul & get the fuck away from them. They will destroy you if you don’t.
Just started.. I’m so scared. I have become such a shell of a person and I’m so full of anxiety now that I don’t even know how to leave without panicking 😔
@@ashleynicole38 don't be afraid of them try to be nice Don't fight with them and argue alot just stand up and tell them it's not working out.Then get away and go no contact.If you have any problems after that call the police on them.They are twisted con artist,manipulative and crooked.Get away from them.
Trauma bonding
This happened a couple months in. We were discussing an issue that arose and when he suggested me move on, I was stunned. I thought it was me, didn’t react, left and he came back. Then the real torture cycles began.
Test
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Yep go get that britch she moved in right up the street. Yep. GOODBYE
They say move on, yet will continue to chase……
Cat with mouse
He didn't chase me
My narc ex told me “I deserved better” after manipulating me for months post breakup. Then left and has been stalking me online for the past 3 years
narcissist always comes back
@@RawMotivations but why is it never in the way you hope? She’ll txt me after years but not look for any sort of conversation, even a cordial one. and she’ll stalk me online, check in what I’m doing. Just always disappointment
Question how do you know wen toxic ppl and narcs stalk you ?
@@RawMotivationswhy?
@@RawMotivations also if i ll move on then what? Is that going to hurt him. Im dealing with one 3 months now. Getting literally bored with his mind games. He said he loves me but I need to move on blah blah yet he comes to see me few times a week and buys me things. Walking contradiction
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Yes. This is exactly how my situation ended. His bluff game didn’t trigger me to run towards him because I was already aware of overt and covert narcissism. I immediately went no contact and blocked him in every way. That was like 3 years ago and I’m so glad I stayed away.
This happened....SO many times..."I think you should go"...I am not sure I love you anymore"..."This isn't working"....Now I understand...TY Ben
Control games
Same shit over and over again until he could not handle me calling him out, so here comes the silence, the discard from the narc
It means he found a new supply to prey upon
I think he is gay. Could have told me years ago. No thanks.
My relationship has given me a deep understanding of Stockholm syndrome. I went from complete interaction and thought control to sudden freedom. I feel like somebody who just got out of prison and is overwhelmed by the freedom.
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Horrible horrible experience.
I did move on and he still stalked me. I give no fucks about him and I love my life without him!! Guess he didn't see that coming huh? #nocontactstrong!
They think your gonna beg and fight for them, they need to be wanted.
19 years with a covert narcissist. "If you need to Google their actions. That's a RED FLAG!"
It means vanish like a thief in the night.
Block and delete them from everything and live your life without them.
I still have some residual anger and resentment, so I have some healing to do myself. The best option is disappearance.
That’s exactly what I did 👏🏻
No doctor therapist can take away 54 years of heartache. MY life is constantly moving on. Forever changing yet constant. Apparently I can now officially say... suck my... MN BREACHING BRITCHES LOST MY JOB DUE TO POLITICIANS AND POLICE BARGANING BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. THAT IS RECORDS I HAVE YET YTO ACQUIRE. YEP. HEARTRENCHED A CATASTROPHIC INJURY. BROKEN FINANCIALLY AND NOW HOMELESSS. HE STILL THINKS HE IS WINNING. HOW DOES THE FRAUD PERPETRATORS COLLECT MY INHERITANCE CHANGE PAPERW9RK ILLEGALLY KEEPS MY MAIL DAILY BR3ACHED MY BIRTH RECORDS AND STOLE $330000+ UNAUTHORIZED WITHDRAWLS AND ILLEGAL ACCESS TO MY BANK ZERO RESOLUTION. WORKED MY ASS OFF FOR CRUMBS. MR MAYOR YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY ATTORNEY MR CONFLICT OF INTEREST. Where is my 1994 shares stole. My Eebond stole. Intent is everything literally could write a screenplay of my life. Struggles to prove that I am strong and beautiful I l9ve me. Thankfully survived.
I still have yet to discover truth of my birth... seems my entire community knows. Pure humiliation. Retaliation and abuse.
And A CAR ILLEGALLY TRADED BACK WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE NOT OK. No that's not the original estate. EXCUSE ME FRAUD A CAR IS NOT A HOME. I CANNOT LIVE IN MY CAR BRITCHES. FRAUD ASSES.
Excuse me Mr officer... those plates not mine. MY ORIGINAL PLATES ARE ON HIS CAR... DMV DOESN'T SEEM TO CARE EITHER. BS
Hes telling you to move on because he already has plain and simple.
yeap!!
He has moved on, but also is willing to mess with your head indefinitely. Please don't let him do that to you. Move on and call it a lesson learned.
True. Bless them anyways.
Intent is everything mf.
Married 23 years and divorcing because his narcissism was getting worse. Emailed him to get financial statements. Sent me an attachment that was a pic of him and his female student tenant posed to look like they were a couple (laughable, because they weren't) Husband told me 'to move on like he did'. Lawyer not impressed and threatened him with restraining order and told him to provide the info. When a narc tells you to move on it is to avoid accountability.
Yep. I went through this. Just substitute the him for a her. She also always threatened to print out the divorce papers when I would stand up for myself.......
My ex knew I figured him out. Years ago I told him he was a covert narcissist, he said bottle it up. He already knew. We were in touch years later, he was homeless. I was able to get him through three surgeries, and found him an apartment. I couldn’t handle the stress, the lies. He was smearing me with neighbors I had never met. I’m out . He has a long road ahead of him.
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My ex narc used to tell me: "you are free" is better to be friends that to be in a relationship.
I am with a narcissist, and he just recently discarded me and advised me we're not dating anymore. We're just gonna hang out from time to time and I told him never.
Good. Run and get free. www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough
I got to the point of realizing that I don't want to be with anyone that doesn't want to be with me. So I moved on. Mever threatened him before that turning point, but once I got there it was concrete. An hour before I reached that point I had no idea or intention of leaving. I was willing to keep investing in the crazy making, hoping for him to change.
Just came out with me, too, but I knew I meant it. ❤
The very last phone interaction I had with the nex was him saying ‘we need to separate ‘-I said yes I agree-once that call was over I went NC
He’s never said it but has shown me a few times he doesn’t care. So good. Makes it a lot easier to get over it.
going through this rn, little does he know that I am planning on moving on, I am almost all of the way packed and in 11 days I will be 1,000 miles away, ensuring that I do not return. Best wishes for anyone that needs it.
Glad you are getting free. Check out how to help you with the feeing the mindset piece: www.rawmotivations.com/clarity-challenge-home
Congratulations 🎊
He did this and I moved on. Never look back. 😊
In later stages of the relationship she would literally warn me sending me messages like, ' Please leave me alone so I can get help as your triggering me all the time..And i shouldn't be in a realtionship as hurt people hurt people , and I want you to be happy eith somebody else...'
mine have said usually during arguments.... 'we shouldn't have got married', 'i let some people go because of you', 'you are pretty woman, an older guy will like you' (he is actually much older than me), 'I am committed to this relationship, you decide what you want to do...' (while really not putting any heavy repair work after betrayals), 'I don't see this working out', but when I come up and say 'well it looks like it's not working out between us', he starts arguing about it. But majority of the time he treats me indifferently.
Basic reverse psychology?! Mine told me several times to leave and that I was “done”! Then things would just go back to “normal” as if nothing ever happened. I finally agreed with him and got out! It’s not been smooth sailing, with death threats to me, our pets, my property, etc. and police involvement. Even though he told me to get out, when I did, he’s now the victim. 🤦♀️
Appreciate you sharing your story. It must have been really tough. I'd love to invite you to our free masterclass where you can learn how to break free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
My ex initiated the break up and said to me "Who would want you?" I calmly said
"Nobody" I divorced him later on grounds of adultery.
I walked out after 24 years and I told him tell people what you like as I couldn’t care less what your friends and family think of me ! Later whilst discussing the sale of the house he said to me “ I shouldn’t have let you go 😂😂😂😂reverse discard ? Best thing I ever did !
In the last message he ever sent to me where he was still being kind of loving, he said I could do better than him in every way and that he was a very bad man. That I would make a very good wife to.someone someday, but he was "very, very bad".
This is insane... This is EXACTLY what is going on. He has been actively ignoring me for 2 weeks and I have been obsessed with him and messaging him EVEN THOUGH I ACTUALLY BROKE UP WITH HIM FIRST. I keep thinking, "what am I doing? I broke up with him, I was tired of his lying and cheating and now I am chasing after him?"
Run run run , I’m actually going through something similar but he started chasing me and gets mad when I ignore him at church , i don’t call or text him at all and he’s asking me to come over now and me being stupid I go and I be feeling so stupid and dumb for putting myself back in this same situation again after 6 months of love bombing me and then ghosting me and now he’s back with his love bombing again smh
This resonates with me. I never realized that it was a manipulative tactic. Thank you.
I went through this …It was so sickening, but I am out of it now. Let my healing begin
Told me I need to move on because he didn’t believe we were compatible and said I can find a someone who can do more for me than he did
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this happened to me and i knew it was a manipulation. But it's so sick! I'm not entering a relationship to play these games, but they are. Thanks for opening these topics to really dissect what goes on in this addictive dynamic and how it is possible to get trauma bonded, against every reason. Because it is very non-obvious to anyone outstanding, and for a longer time even to the people involved. 🙏
People just don't bother to understand, oversimplify and downplay it, and in this way wrong the "victims".
The nuance hits a little differently when it isn't done in the discard phase, to be sure.
I believe that when this method is used in a stage of the cycle of an abusive relationship other than the Discard stage, there are typically other dynamics at play within the relationship that the abuser knows will make it almost impossible for the victim to leave; a different object to use as leverage when they know you know the relationship has become toxic or unhealthy.
That leverage could be something such as financial leverage (loss of prestige or status, the threat of homelessness & poverty, etc.) or relational leverage (reputation, custody of children, friends, family connections, etc.). It might even be something like not being able to leave because they can't guarantee themselves alternate accommodation that will allow them to take a beloved pet with them, or the animal is registered to the abuser.
The name of this strategy escapes me but it's the one where the abuser is making it seem like the victim has a choice, but really it is not freedom of choice at all. And the victims are compelled to do what the abusers want regardless of how negatively they feel about it. The abuser will not need to worry about the love bombing phase anymore to win the victim back because they know the victim isn't going anywhere else soon.
Whatever the leverage is, generally it'll herald a new level of hell for the victim.
I never knew he was like this until someone told me he sounds like a narc and I started seeing his behavior and reaction so dismissive towards me and of cheated been separated a month now and he would txt me all this kind of stuff that it was all my fault but now he doesn’t txt me anymore especially on the weekends when he’s out with someone only when it’s convenient for him . I’m learning to just ignore him and trying my best to move forward..
Thank you so much for this video. I really thought I was alone in this experience
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Telling someone to move on is just forcing narrative assumption that the other person is the one causing problems, that you don't want to move on, that you don't want to get away.
My narc seemed upset when he "thought" I moved on. I didn't deny or correct him. I blocked him and I supposed I did move on. Then what happened to him when I moved on and didn't return, stay or chase? He thought I was going to chase him. Ha! Nope.
What the hell?? He actually DID tell me this and I was confused why he was telling me this back when I was with him. I didnt get it. And I would tell him "no, why would I move on? I love you. I dont have eyes for anyone else but you" and he would say "well, I know your family would rather have you marry a doctor" and I would a million times say, I DONT WANT THAT, I WANT YOU!! or he would say "well, you should probably get with a guy who is already all set, i know you want kids, a family, and a house so badly. I cant give you that. you dont seem happy with me" i dont know if this was all trying to mess with my head or he was genuine because he would start off saying "you should move on" but then he start the next sentence so vindictively and make me feel bad.
and honestly, when he said that, I DID try harder to show him no one else would get between us, even my family, friends, church. More loyal and act more jealous around other girls to show I really really want him. Cuz if I didnt express jealously, it would tell him I didnt care. I hated that. I would overly react when he said all the above to me.
.....it was all a control tactic and I didnt even know it. It makes me so angry. I dont want to feel like this, but knowing the truth make me so angry at him. He was trying to keep me trapped. I kept running back and tried so hard to make it work with him, just like you said, it was addictive and I would have horrible withdrawls.
I have been 9 months no contact, and I FEEL SO FREE!!! I had the strength to block and not speak to him and NOT go back this time. Thank you GOD! 🙏🙏
girl u are literally me 🥲🥲 glad ur away from it
Congratulations. I am in the middle of it. I felt so stupid, once I realized.
It's been 1 week tomorrow, no contact. He was blocked from contacting me. I'm still healing and it will take time, but he and his friends who fought for him will never be allowed to hurt me again.
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My Narcissist husband asked me to move out of our house after 53 yrs of marriage. Been together since I was 18 yrs old. I didn’t go, he did as I refused. He was very controlling to a point it made me ill. See his house in the same village from my front door. If I had gone, it would have saved his reputation and people would have seen a different side of him. Now people see straight through him. He has been gone 4 yrs now, so would have been 57 yrs of marriage.
He would tell me he doesn't want a relationship, he won't love me the way I need to be loved, things have changed, we forcing issues, we don't understand each other, he can't be with someone who has different views from him, 5 years I tolerated this, begged him to STOP and then I decided to Leave
As soon as he started calling me names. I was done
....he broke my heart four years ago. thanks to these videos....im glad im single again. :)))...and done.
I fought for the relationship. “Relationship”. I got told for a year “let me clear my head. No calls. No text. Let me clear my head!” And “what you don’t know is I do want this to work but you won’t let me clear my head”. All this. This treatment towards me knowing I was just out of beating stage 4 cancer. Death of my dog. And refusal to let me see the dog we had adopted. I even kept my final promise and moved to his apt complex when the goal was we would move in together. Whatever this was. It was evil. Even promised to come to therapy and never came. Again “wanted it to work”. Recorded calls. Had monkeys and mom listening. My reactive abuse allowed him to win. Two years and still blocked and ghosted and no proof he left to be with someone new. Not cuz I look. Mutual friends we had have fun into me.
I hope that disgusting psycho is Totally out of your life now, & So Proud & Happy for you Beating Cancer, That's HUGE!! 👍❤️🌞
Sounds very traumatic. So sorry. Hope you are on your healing journey. Love and light 🙏🏽
One more thing. I still don’t understand this: him saying “you hurt me, and they don’t know my side of the story. They only know what you tell them making me the bad guy!” Really? I did nothing but love him unconditionally. Stayed after he cheated and not into cheated but invited the guy and the friends that all knew. Why not just dump me and celebrate with them and the new guy. The new guy is the one that told me. The next day. The whole situation was lies. From “oh a dark spirit in my closet made me cheat it didn’t want me to be with you”. Psychotic. Why I stayed I can’t answer. I was better than this nonsense and saw right through it. I was going to prove love existed I guess. “Love him harder”. “Love him through his bs”. I’m over it now. I just miss the dog we adopted. Note: he did run back to two exes before me and took him out for his bday. Not back together that I’m aware of. His exes befriended me. They helped me heal actually. Narcissist do not love. The ex he had the gull to take out, he got his student loans paid for by him and then left him. Never paid him back. They say narcissist always come back. I am blocked and ghosted. Almost 3 years. I just don’t see mine ever reaching out. Not even a “want to watch the dog” or “hey I don’t want to rekindle anything I just wondered how your health is”. He’s a medical administrator/nurse. I’ll never understand this. And I don’t have to.
Get out of here then
Preach
I said to my ex gf that I still loved her……..and she replied “please don’t” . I think that is one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me
My narc ex and I had a stupid fight initiated by him. We didn't talk a whole weekend. When I saw him he told me he still cared about me still misses me but was never coming back. I told him I didn't think it best we didn't talk then. He called me dramatic but good luck with your life. After watching videos about narcissists I realize they say "I'm done, it's over, I'm never coming back......but I still really care and I miss you when you're not around" equates to ...I found new supply but don't know if it's going to work out BUT I told you I care about and miss you SO if I come back you'll think this is SO romantic that I couldn't be without you" he's done it before. It's been over a month and my anxiety has been high because I know he's going to be back. Sooner rather than later.
He sounds like an Avoidant
@jessylee1834 Either way block him,go no contact why are you still entertaining him for ..Block him/ her...Indifference killea yhe Narc
I had this said to me once and I did move on
The narcissist then said if I tell you to stick your hand in a fire will you do it? No accountability for what was said to me
Zero
THE MORE I LISTEN TO THIS GUY THE MORE I REALIZE HOW VERY FORTUNATE I AM THAT I WAS ABLE TO PEEP DUDE'S GAME AFTER ABOUT 2 WEEKS, even though i KNEW NOTHING about this disorder. i'm a very sensitive person, all i need to know is...i...FELT...his behavior was abusive. and i KNEW it was UNACCEPTABLE!!!! i did NOT know what i was dealing with. NOW i do! ...end result: DUECES!!!!!
Just leave. You don't need to win the argument. You can't reason With the devil. Because they will just lie. Just leave.
🙌🏽🙌🏽😮💨
My ex husband would tell me that he could see me with someone else 😢
Correct unless of course they have a new source of supply and have no further use for you.
Yess he wanted me to show that I loved him more not someone else
But up until I found out about her he lied about seeing someone else and was asking to take me out etc but once I found out about her he was completely about her
He said “I hope you can heal from this.”
Then he makes a motion with his lawyer to make the judge have me mentally evaluated.
He told me i derserve so much better man than i recently heard he cheated on me.
When i knew he cheated on me, i dumped him right away.
I will never give chance that he pretend "good person"
What he meant to do is destroy me. He spent twice as many years with me than his original family. After everything we shared all he cared about is hurting me as much as possible. He was getting back at his stepmother and stepsister and any girl would do.
Maybe someday I will get my sanity back. Not yet a year after divorce my anxiety has gone way down. I have 2 great therapists and they confirmed all my suspicions that it isn’t fixable Trust your gut.
When my toxic ex broke up with me. Right after she told me she moved on but never cheated or lied to me bla bla bla. Her words were moved on with her life and blamed me and told me good luck. All after ignoring the actual incident where she blew up on me for saying something didnt make sense
She has been gone for almost three months.I have already excepted my mistakes for loving and helping my exgirlfreind malignant narcissist.I excepted the mistakes I made and take responsibility for them.I realize I was in love with her but she could never stay in love with me for a long period of time.She would just love bomb me then devalue me,cheat on me insult me the leave me and not tell me anything just disappear.Then hoover me go through the cycle again.Thats not real love.Thats just using me to get things.Never caring for me and giving me no empathy.Also not helping me and growing in any kind of relationship.Everything was about her ,. Everything was competitive games to win at Instant gradification..You have to focus on yourself She hurt me real bad but I'm getting over all of it I know I will be okay I'm focused on me and my needs.I want someone to care about me and my feelings I have a life to live and I'm getting my joy and happiness back.👍💯🙂.So everyone love yourself and do things that make you happy.Everyone in a relationship with a narcissist needs to understand something..Why should you love work so much and exhaust yourself so much and the Narcissist's cheats,lies,insults you,bully's you steals things from you,breaks the law and don't give you much in return Just alot of abuse and problems.Love yourself and build yourself back up.Take care everyone.👍🙂💯
Stay strong! You got this!!! 💕
Excellent observations & you're absolutely spot on! I think it's important to focus not so much on the mistakes you made because remember they always had an agenda and it was a failed project from the start. She was incapable of loving you the way that you deserved & everything you ever experienced with her was fake. She knew that - you didn't! We need to ask ourselves some serious questions- why we tolerate their BS and why we desperately seek the love and validation from them when we should be validating and loving ourselves first!
I wish you all the best with your healing journey.
My ex narc never said this but this video was really helpful in understanding his behaviour and why he said other statements. Such as he used to say if we ever broke up I'd go from abusive relationship to abusive relationship full well knowing I had history of being abused. I now realise he was trying to trigger me and fear his abandonment and keep me triggered and trapped. Very informative 👏
My ex keeps in contact and asked why is she seeking a relationship again after back fourth everyweek she offered friendship i rejected it and said im only interested in romantic relationship i said thank you for the closure and said goodbye. This is the happiest day as she never answered any questions and when she said i should find another woman and only offer friends i was thankful for the closure as i can walkaway happy now as see its just games. Ive never been the contactor its her so she made her self look really stupid
Just wanted to throw this out there, not only is this an excellent video and I told you how much I have grown in strength because of your educational videos. But I also wanted to Applaud, you on that background …yes yes yes. Awesomeness.!!!💪💖
Your spot on he did this to me consistently and continuously. I could never explain it like you just have. You have given me a new vocabulary identifying my life with him. I can’t tell you how much your videos are helping us all. You explain it exactly how it was. I’m so grateful my ex narc is out of my life and my Childrens.
So revealing. I knew this all instinctively but it is great to hear it straight on.
Asking for answers on a text because in person equals silence, he said I know where the door is.
Part of him knows I am out of my denial. I can’t think straight yet.. reeling. These are patterns that are never changing…
Happened to me. I eventually left and filed for divorce now he is obsessed. Writing several emails per day everyday just to call me evil.
My ex narc constantly called my parents every time we had a disagreement or I expressed my emotions about anything. I don’t understand. 🤦🏽♀️
They want you to be alone and isolated. They want to tradrash your support system.
She told me this 5mos ago. Just before discard. I of course gave 1000 reasons why not. She won that mind match & got good reaction. What i didnt realize was SHE was in process of moving on behind my back w new supply she was grooming all along. 8yrs gone when she discarded me out of blue. Now she smear campaign me online and is the total victim!
& After You say 'Omg Yes! Bye!' They all of a sudden take it back, & you Never loved them to begin w/. Bottom line, you can't win w/ a narc
A narcissist telling you to move on is a blessing. No more gaslighting lol.
He told me after he left my house not to call him no more it's been three yrs 😂and I didn't answer his hoover
When it's a covert saying you this with puppy eyes it can also be to fish compliments
I just got dumped by a narcissist he told some such
Crap& I knew it was complete crap what he was saying .. I’m sure he’s got someone else or someone he might have his eye …so I’m really not sure just guessing..He then thought it was still OK to keep following each other WTF on instagram 😳 hell noooooo The last thing he got from me was the whatever emoji.. I think he thought I’d start begging and pleading with him he got nothing and that was about 3 weeks ago …Yeah it hurts but life goes on whatever …. done
Join the club. They are downright cruel. We need a support system.
I'm here to support you on your healing journey. If you need assistance, please schedule a one-on-one session with me at www.rawmotivations.com
@@di_decaire Absolutely my friend he was nothing but lying trailer trash complete dumpster fire who lied & had sex with anything he could get his hands on … I hope whoever’s got him now doesn’t get ruined by him.. Everything he liked about me that I was smart,pretty,funny, good career strong character good morals & values he ended up hating me for those qualities.. Selfish cruel rude disgusting pig of a man… I hope he gets his one day and he will what goes around comes around…
Ahh yes, I remember 2 years into our relationship we were talking about our future one day and he verbatim said he wants to be with me forever then the next day like clockwork he was cold and told me "you know I wouldn't mind if you dated someone else, if you want to go I just want you to know I wouldn't mind and It wouldn't hurt me" I was like.... you wouldn't care or be hurt at all if your GF just up and goes and dates someone new today?? WHAT? Then of course he flipped it and said "wooowww what you'd WANT me to be upset?! You'd want me to be sad and hurt? That's messed up Amanda what's wrong with you?" Such head games
My heart is bleeding. Discarde 12:02 d in december. And he told me to find someone else and be happy! Left me with a 2 year old boy. He used all my savings. Had to sleep on the floor for 2 months to get enough money for a flat........
My heart stopped. He was acting weird. Talking to someone on the phone and stopped whenni came near. Found a picture of him and nother lady wrapped in his closet. Boasted to his friend about his rich cousin. I looked after him and his foster children financially for 3 years. They did not even say goodbye.
And i hate myself. For being me.
Please know, this pain will pass too. One day you will see the blessing in this. Keep on pushing through and do not look back!
Coming from a fellow, my ex husband dumped me over the phone After 12 years. I am now happy and engaged, he became very sick...
My ex contacted me a month after we broke up and NC asking if we could be "sex friends" I kept my dignity and declined only to find out shes got a new guy smh. I called her out for who she is and told her to never contact me again.
She's since proceeded to stalk me last 3 weeks.
He is not telling me anything ,ive been discarded, so he might come back?! Or never return to me . Its so confusing to get discarded for no reason
Its hard hun but best really don't expect him to come back will drive you crazy
,,But I want to be friends with you".. nah
That old chestnut. He said that's what mature people do. And in the next sentence, it wasn't a real relationship. 11years.
@@windrock right. Like as if they now what's mature with throwing tantrums when something isn't going their way etc. It's actually funny when it wouldn't be so sad
Omg thank u so much.i been obsessively watching these videos but people covered discard but not the you should move on. Ironically i thought he meant it when he said i shud move on as in he has no further use for me and was hoping i would break it off. This is such a weight off my shoulders to know it was a snare that backfired in his face. You have helped me beyond what i can express. Subscribed! 😊❤
He called it ' pushing the envelope '
I was told! ' you not have purpose for me anymore!'... those words said it all for me. Hes blocked and deleted for ever. Still trying to get over but working on that now. Taking time off and reflecting how stupid I was beleiving that he might have any feelings
Mine told me when she left in a defensive comment shifting blame and shame on me, told me i confuzed myself and fooled myself and ruined it. I still have no idea exactly what i did in the moment to do this or cause this
Am going thrue a devorce for 17 years of lied cheat abuse and he still in the house court is in 3 weeks can’t Waite to get reed of it 🙏
My ex told we are simple not meant to be and was time to end he thought i was going to fight that i said ok ur right this was months after discard and he already been married but was trying to make me keep is old rented place i told him no so i left
Love love love your videos RAW ❤
Mine showed 💯 no emotion at all leaving me and constantly told me she was a empath from the start
Hm. When he says „if you don’t like it, move on“ isn’t it that he just doesn’t care and that’s why he can afford bold moves?
Or they say I can’t make you happy don’t fall for that either
Omg Ben, I am almost 1 year post my narcissistic relationship, he did everything bad on the scale 10 fold. But this literally just happened to me! He ghosted me in February after having a breakup last Sept, he kept hoovering more or less. Then in Feb I finally spoke my peace, set boundaries regarding his disrespect. He didn’t like that. And then he ghosted me since. I reached out a cpl mths ago to let him know my mom has stage 4 cancer, I told him I missed the friend I had in him prior to the relationship. He responds a cpl weeks later saying he wants nothing to do with me, he has no love for me, I repulse him, and if I reach out again he will get a no contact order. Um we were so in love and the mask slipped, and I did everything to make him happy including moving 800 miles to be with him, and he changed his mind 24 hours later. Back to the topic, do you think he meant this recent text, or is this manipulation? This vid hit me hard. Help Ben! This JUST HAPPENED to me!
I know it sucks to hear this & deal with this… but move on, somehow someway. It could be a manipulation tactic… to hurt you, put you on the back burner for later because he has no use for you now, it could be a projection, or a combo. Regardless of the reason, you deserve better than that.
Why do you want to be friends with someone who treated you so bad like you're his worst enemy? He don't care and never did
Just to hurt you out of control 🤦♀️ remember they have no higher emotions ❤️🩹 operate out of fear rage envy revenge & denial 👩 it’s misogyny… you were a standing for the mother he couldn’t separate from & he became your parent in the shared delusion 🥲 good cop & bad cop both sick cop
Sound like manipulation. Let's work on you getting free. I'm here to support you on your healing journey. If you need assistance, please schedule a one-on-one session with me at www.rawmotivations.com
@@sth1399 I don’t want to be friends with him. I had a weak moment when I found out my mom has terminal cancer, and that particular day I was in a real bad place. Emotionally and don’t know what possessed me to reach out. The reason I spoke my mind in February when he claimed he wanted to try and be friends, was because he started devaluing me a day after my grandma passed, and it actually happened the night of my daughters high school graduation dinner. It was all about her and his self righteous evil words made me lash out and tell him exactly what I thought of him. Also when we were together I had a cancer scare myself and he ghosted me for 2 weeks not knowing my biopsy results and his excuse was that I had disrespected him. Ruminating happens and it’s so hard, why I continue to watch these videos and interact because I need to keep it in the forefront that what I thought was my soulmate, was really one of the devil’s minions, and it was all fake. The fake is the hardest part to this day for me. But I know it. Hope that all made sense lol
Thanks!
W attract them coz they like a challenge and see straight through the BS . I don’t even feel sorry for this personally type
My narc did this to me about a month ago after I seen him had sex with him then he ghosted me an I’ve been looking for him but he has me blocked on everything so I called him from my sister phone && he told me he moved back to his hometown an telling me to move on with my life…basically saying we’re done 💔 I feel so used an stupid about everything
🙏🏽 you will get through this!