Neuroscientist Reveals: The SCIENCE Of Falling In LOVE with Caroline Leaf
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- Опубліковано 8 сер 2023
- If you are looking for the Keys to Finding Love and a great partner... THIS is the Science of Falling in Love!
Your Relationship is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life, and Caroline Leaf has not only been married for decades (and yes she is madly in love) but she also studies how the brain and the mind work around relationships and finding healthy love.
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0:00: 🧠 We need to observe and manage our minds to identify and address negative patterns that impact us.
6:40: 🧠 Our thoughts and experiences are stored as vibrations in the brain, shaping our mind and creating meaning.
13:27: 🔑 Toxic thoughts from past experiences can affect our ability to attract healthy love in the future.
20:09: 🔑 The speaker emphasizes the importance of looking at individuals as unique human beings before considering their gender in relationships.
26:29: 🤝 It is important to acknowledge the impact of both positive and negative experiences in life.
32:52: 💥 Living in isolated and pressure-filled environments can lead to relationship problems and explosive arguments.
39:53: ✨ Steps to heal a broken relationship and create harmony.
45:33: 💡 The speaker discusses the importance of focusing on positive aspects of oneself and one's partner to build resilience in relationships.
52:06: 📚 The speaker reflects on the impact of words and the importance of communication in childhood.
58:28: 🧠 Creating a mind management space can improve mental health.
1:05:49: ❤ How to support and love someone who frequently harms themselves.
1:11:42: 🔧 In an intimate relationship, if someone feels broken, they can either become more reactive or withdraw.
1:18:26: ✅ Validating and listening to someone with bipolar disorder is important to understand their experiences and emotions.
Recap by Tammy AI
Thanks for the breakdown Tammy AI!
I love ppl like u who do this 😁
Thnq for saving my time
That is fantastic!
Now can you please breakdown what's happened in this country's politics since 2016? 😂❤
Year by year?😂❤
Alchemy of thoughts is a crucial skill. The science is intriguing... sometimes it feels like scientists and doctors dig so deep they go past where is necessary, and they study the building materials rather than the structures. Dr. Leaf definitely goes deep, but she also looks for the roots, and that's where answers start to develop.
Define what is necassary? You can't.!
@@CONEHEADDK I can define where is necessary, I might not be able to determine where it is though.
You don't have to know a single thing about chemical processes to get an idea as to why the body produces them, sure having the knowledge will help understand the "hows" of things happening, that doesn't necessarily tell you the "why" of things happening.
Some people get so caught up on how that they completely overlook why, and vice-versa.
When it comes to behavior, the why probably takes priority over the how. In certain cases, it makes more sense to be able to understand things rather to be just be able to replicate them. Replication doesn't guarantee understanding, but it definitely can help.
@@ignorantlyspeaking If scientists knew, what the results of their science would be, and what the future would bring, and what would be best for everybody involved, then MAYBE it could be possible to define necassary.. But they can't, and neither can you - or I.
@@CONEHEADDK i cannot determine what is necessary, but I can definitely define it.
I probably could determine it if I had a goal as to what I wanted to study though. It's not that difficult. In that case I would probably prefer to replicate what I am studying, and then reverse engineer it, as I would want margin for trial and error. I just wouldn't fixate on the how if the why was a more pressing matter, which is almost entirely the case when it comes to behavior. The medicinal and medical values of replicating behavioral processes do not go unseen though. Intrusive treatments/procesures could suppress, regulate, or increase important functions which could help people with psychosis or illnesses. It could be extremely beneficial. Though, it's still likely more practical to understand why things are the way they are, before going and trying to create the ideal behaved human. I wouldn't limit anyone...
People always thought humans could fly, but they probably didn't think it would be by building a box +5x their own weight and getting inside it. That is how it happened though. Counterintuitive thinking leads to wonderful things. In the case of behavior, given how smart the brain is, I still say it's more pragmatic to understand the why over the how.
@@ignorantlyspeaking I'm pretty sure, that we actually agree. I was just pointing at the word necassary, that is very fluent, unless you have a very exact goal. You and I would probably have a different goal for mental patients than many others, who would have more focus on short term costs. Your plane thing reminds of H. Ford's clamied words: "If I were to listen to the customers, I should have designed a faster horse.". They wanted a problem solved, but would probably never had voted for his idea, and still ended up happy to pay for it.
Biggest takeaway - your first real "love" and how that relationship went is actually what shapes how we are in relationships! What an eye opener! I've had trauma in my life but that comment really was lightbulb moment for me. Part 2 PLEASE!
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Finaly some really good and healthy advice on love! This is why being single is absolutely nothing anyone should feel ashamed or sad about. It can be an extremely valuable time to figure out who you are and what exactly you are looking for and heal what needs healing. ❤
Lewis's energy exudes so much kindness and compassion. You hear it in the way he asks questions 🙏🏾😊. Thank you much for this healing episode
Lewis is a great interviewer, he always comes from a place of curiosity...an apt pupil. Well done as usual, Lewis!
As a child of divorced parents I never felt it was my fault, but DEFINITELY feel 100% responsible for their happiness since they are alone and don’t have a spouse or partner.
That's so sad! They are grown and in charge of their own happiness and life. I have two little boys 5 & 6 and I am also divorced. I hope they don't feel responsible for my happiness. I'm the only one who can make myself happy. I don't want them to be co-dependent like that.
lol mine are both remarried and i rarely see them or their new families lol only child. my main issue is being a third wheel to my friends relationships just like how my childhood was
@@LeahBreHappy They will, it's natural. But it's your duty to make it clear to them that they are free of responsibility for your happiness. That they are only responsible for their own individual happiness. And that you will be all right :))
She came to my church back in 2016 here in Syracuse, NY and was AWESOME!!! ♥️🙏🏿🤗
Was it Abundant Life
@@JustACat613 Yes! With Pastor Carter🙏🏿♥️
@@MsE711 knew it! That man knows Bible.
I immediately picked up South African accent 🇿🇦, when she said she was born in Zimbabwe 🇿🇼 I was like aaahh I wasn’t far off. Great interview/episode 🙏🏾
Thanks for being here!
I want a part two. This is so important. For the relationships of everyone in my family. To repair so much trauma in our family.
Wow, I wish every person on this planet would watch this. Such a powerful conversation. Wonderful questions Lewis. I adore Dr Leafs humility.,brilliance and compassion ❤
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
"You're gonna go from relationship to relationship looking for something missing in you" ... Thank you both for the enlightenment !
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
I am that person. I have had a great childhood, great parents, great friend circle. And then marriage happened. A broken person and them him projecting his brokenness. And at the initial part of marriage there was no fail safe for me. I couldn't manage my emotions that were mostly anger and helplessness and the grief of what could have, should have , would have. And I was blamed for everything that was bad in the marriage and not my husband's brokenness or his narcissistic mom and unhealthy attachment style and dynamics within his family. There was so much sadness, helplessness in me because I wasn't even aware of what is happening, wasnt equipped with the tools and knowledge I have now. I was blamed and tagged to be the messy one. I am better able to manage emotions, manage expectations.
I wish I had come across gem of a video like this earlier. But then another way of saying this is all the healing and positive thought Alchemy I did while I was angry and helpless brought me to this video. Both of you are great! Thank you
Please let’s see part 2! Thank you so much for the work you both do! 🙏
I loved this conversation and so important how to talk to our children and save them to adapt our bad habits! Eye opening for me and was so grate for the tool Dr. Leaf mentioned! Dear Lewis is always so good to tune to your podcast thank you 🙏🏻
I been in before 4 longer 2-7 years relationships and only on my last relationship I felt jealous .I felt a lot of emotions that I never before felt that strong.
Part 2, please! The fact that children as young as 2 can grasp these (simplified) processes was mind blowing. So exciting for what this research and organized process means for this new generation
I really needed to hear this!! It validates how I am feeling struggling the past 4 months with emotional overwhelm and chronic illness and anxiety and depression and my relationship with my partner has broken down also. I've started working with a psychologist as I can't get anyone else to actually listen to my problems.
The conversation between you two is excellent. Dr Leaf is so honest, provides real life examples. Keep bringing her back, you guys are both are wonderful ❤️
Just wow. Incredible interview. The biggest take away is explaining how to do the protocol. How you need to repair the relationship with yourself and a partner who is always pointing out faults really doesn't love you. They are seeing things in them self they need to repair but wanna do it in you instead. I love how she Gave tools to return the physical and mental to more relaxed state.
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Yes, more about managing relationships. This was not only fascinating, but helps me with skills for responsibility for my stuff.
I love how she says "We are wired for Love."
Part 2 for sure! This was SO amazing and just one of the greatest discussions ever. She really broke down the mind and how it functions so incredibly well with such fantastic visuals! I love a good tactile visual to hold, touch, see. Just a wealth of wisdom and insight into my Self and Others. I especially love the idea of creating that safe space for the whole family, but especially for my kids to go to when they need to process their emotional state to tend to their mind, because I know it’s a space to be with them as well (when that’s what they need and/or want). This was just so great thank you! Super grateful! We need more safe community spaces in all the ways!
Appreciate you for watching.
Powerful, thank you for gifts to humanity Dr.Leaf and Lewis!!! Would love a part 2!
Part 2 for sure. I love her. Found her in 2017 rewiring the mind. It literally saved my life. Thank you, such a delight 😊 ❤
Most definitely want a part 2 of the conversation. The conversation is helping so much.
Means a lot!!! Glad this was helpful for you🧡
agreed!
I would love a part two! More info on how to introduce this with teens and young adults. This has been fantastic! Thank you!
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I love how Lewis processes what she says out loud whether it's for clarity for himself, or for us, or both... it helps a LOT to get a deeper understanding of what's being said 💜
Agree. Dr Leaf is so passionate and this is why she talks "lots and fast"...a bit difficult for some of us to process without his help.
i love the big guy
Caroline saying it is okay to be messy, but you can move through it helps to
validate our feelings. Thanks Lewis
Thank you.Yes to part deux please! Caroline's examples helped confirm how the loudspeak of my own inexperienced mom with unresolved issues when I was her 1st young child really did leave deep scars. At 3&4, I somehow reminded Mom of her MiL (who was the primary reason we emigrated) ....let's just say it apparently resulted in much self-speak of what I did and didn't deserve later in life.
Who tf knew?!
This was an amazing conversation session. I agree with everything she said. I learned so much! 💕 Thank you! So many parts I identified with, but when she talked about people that gets labeled with mental deceases and that makes them think they are broken, that got me. Because I have seen that happening to a love one! Thank you 🙏🏽❤
I am sorry your loved one experienced that. It can be so damaging :(
We live in a culture that fosters insecurity. And we are very quick to point it out in others in order to make ourselves feel superior, and make others feel badly, sometimes to exert control and dominance over them, or in order to get the upper hand, or be condescending and self righteous. But the truth is that no matter how confident a person is, there is always something they are insecure about. It is totally natural and okay, it is part of being human, especially when having to cope with this ridiculous pretentious fakery constantly beombarding us in the media. We are frequently being compared with, and comparing ourselves to, unrealistic and heavily filtered imagery of attributes, lifestyle, fame, wealth, etc. Perfection which is unattainable. A never ending pursuit for more and better and bigger, but which leads us into disappointment, frustration, exhaustion, nothingness, and eventually mental illness such as depression and anxiety. It is good for us to work on our insecurities and grow stronger and more confident in ourselves, but I think it's is also equally as good to just accept it as a part of being a normal human being, because very much of you we are insecure about and comparing ourselves to, or being compared to, is not reality at all. Hopefully that makes sense. I love your topics, your guests, your views, and your videos in general. Lewis, you are the kindest, most profound, most sensitive, and always interested and interesting host. 💕💕💕💕💕💕
❤My word... you sound like someone who has done the work.
Yes good way of explaining our need to accept we all have areas of Insecuritues and need to accept and work on them..
Excellent definitely a part 2. Would love a focus on assisting 7-9 year Olds in the community. Too many kids are prescribed meds to manage anger issues. Whoever makes the titles of the videos is mis labeling this one. It needs to reach a broad audience not just those in intimate relationships . Thanks Lewis for all you do to try and help and educate your audience 👍.
Here struggling years after a divorce I tried apps, got sick & have not dated for years. Thank you for your amazing content.
Bendiciones!
So true, I met someone friends comes from broken family or Ignored parents cause their avoidant relationship later on, we have to show love and support by listening and understanding, it’s not our responsibility to heal them but why not be the light to be someone’s life when you can. Thank you for this amazing conversation ❤
This is so helpful!I am undergoing a lot of stress as I am getting to know someone and feeling at aloss on how to handle the situation.This is insightful and very informative☺
Hi Lewis, I saw your interview with Dr Leaf few years ago and I was blown away by her. I bought three of her books after that interview and I am so grateful for what I have learned about epigenetics and neuroplasticity from her. I must say that you have such a great way of interviewing her (as well as other guests) that you bring out the best answers. You are a great duo!
Love hearing this! Thank you so much 🧡
I do this with my kids❤ they’re my heart, they matter more than my ego and anger.
Indeed, a part 2. She is brilliant.
I got to comprehend more from her tonight than in the past when I watched her videos. The neuro cycle is brilliant. Thank you.
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
My mother-in-law was a very toxic person and being around her for 20 years definitely took years of my life. Her depression created a lot of tension in the family.
Lewis! Man you really have the best people and knowledgeable podcasts / interviews in your school of greatness... This video is now part of my "most important videos" Playlist and I'm in awe of all of them ❤😢 soooo greatful!! 💯 Thank you humans for your learnings, doings and sharings
Would love a part 2 of this 🙏🏽☺️💕
Very much needed this..I have listening a lot of your podcasts…keep doing the good work ❤
Thank you so much for watching! :)
love her! I WANT A PART 2! PLEASE HER WORK IS SO IMPORTANT.
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I love that she is advising parents about having a processing space and not trying to give advice to people. I am in the mental health field and she explained it very well.
Longtime fan here, and gotta say this is the most profound podcast I’ve watched yet!! Thank you! ❤
Appreciate you and your support🧡
She is great! I saw her presentation at my Christian church in Fresno Ca❤❤❤
This conversation is my playground!! So fascinating 😊
I must admit, as a French person, her accent is challenging. But I love what she says. Her analysis is really complete and practical. She gives sound and useful advice. Thank you Lewis, your conversations are always so powerful. 😊💚
yea i feel like she stops a word before it ends im trying to follow tho
Excellent content so informative but I too, am struggling with accent, as well as speed of speech, short breaths, and stopping mid-word.
Good evening Lewis and Caroline
Greatest, wee thankyou to Caroline.
Stumbled across your work couple of years ago. Gave me validation both professionally and personally when very much needed.
Truly Grateful.
💜
Thanks for being here!
This was one of the most eye-opening, encouraging and understandable ways I have seen this information conveyed.
Thank you both for this valuable insight.
Looking forward to a Part 2…
Thank you so much! 🧡
This was an incredible conversation! I’m floored how much I connected to the points made here. Very profound and kudos to asking important questions💯❤️
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
I absolutely love Dr.Leaf! She definitely goes deep ❤️And thank you Lewis for all you do! You rock!
P.s. I would LOVE to see Matthias Barker (he has lots of knowledge about trauma) on this show as well as Alieen (she’s founder of Lavendaire and helps people create their dream life and such) ☺️⭐️
Thanks again!
What Dr Leaf says around 1:18 approx is so important. Putting mental health labels or loose diagnosis on huge problems, is itself problematic. I can see how you end up owning that label instead of working through it. The work is challenging and it doesn’t end but it’s always going to he preferable to labelling your problems and wearing them as an identity !
Would love a part 2! Excited to start these books! 💜💜💜
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The best podcast i’ve ever seen 👏🏽👏🏽 there’s a lot of information
So happy to hear this! Thank you 🧡
Loved this video. Incredible content explained in a way where we can work through our trauma and lead healthier lives.
Please create a part 2. Thank you.
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Lewis I think you’re such a great human being and I feel like you and I have VERY almost EXACT upbringings because every question that you asked pertained to me
Wow, what a wonderful talk. I need to watch and listen to this again.
Working on myself to understand how I could be a better person for me and a better parent to 20 something old kids and a wonderful grandmother. This one is one which I will share with my daughter to help guide her with her children. Wish more of this stuff was available when I was a parent of young children but so glad I’m able to help my children now and apologise for my lack of knowledge (I was a pretty good mum, was just overprotective, which lead to stress and anxiety in me and my children). I will be buying the book for sure.
Thank you so much for watching!
Such amazing information provided in this interview. I’ll be sharing this with everyone who is willing to listen. Thank you Lewis for your continued work towards helping others level up by reaching healthier minds, spirits and connections.
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
I would like a part two. I found her profoundly intuitive and practical. The discussion on anxiety and attachment trauma behaviours in the context of generally happy childhoods, without abuse, and how early childhood and adolescent exoeriences can affect our future relationships is very good, very helpful. I will watch this more than once.❤❤
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
I think she is so so brilliant and so grounded and caring!
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
Please have a Part 2, great to hear positive actions and neuro cycling.
part 2 pls! validate emotions. be strong enough to support others. it is ok to be a mess. supporting increase your health. work on yourself. work on others.
YOU are the definition of GREATNESS Lewis!!!!! ❤
Thanks! Appreciate you for watching. 🧡
Carolineee.. your good intentions, kindness and the amazing message comes across, exudes in ur being. Thanks for this. Agree to agreee:)
This is a life-changing interview! Thank you so much! Would love to hear a Part 2 ❤❤❤
This is uber fascinating!❤
Oh I am so speechless.
I feel this has and will change my life. This is a video I will watch again and refer back to. So much insight. Thank you for posting this. Truly grateful ❤
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Wonderful discussion for those who have been diagnosed with a mental illness. It’s not enough to be labeled and then ostracized and seen as weak. These are moments in life we can move out of with CBT neurocycling and presence work. Thank you!!!!
I love Caroline, she changed my life. Her book Switch on your brain is great!!
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I got both books on Audible, I have 2 boys (10 & 13yrs). I was just thinking about apologizing to kids, and i got my anwer in this podcast. More, please!!
I love this conversation ❤ I train my kids to open up what their feeling eveyday and I ask them to share their story about them all day at school or just being at home. So I know what they’re going through. Ask them if they have new friends and if they are happy and enjoy going to school to check them they’re okay all the time..We meditate/pray together before going to sleep. And we can only share good stories before sleeping and we do take a deep breath before sleeping to have peace while asleep❤❤❤❤ They are 6&9yo❤ and they listen and absorb what I say for them to be a happy kid every single day even day fight sometimes😂😂😂
Love this. Thank you for sharing. 🧡
This episode absolutely can't be missed!! ❤️❤️❤️👏✨
Thank you so much!
I am seeing Caroline all over Youtiube these days, love it!! ❤
Loved this. Thank you! Would love a part 2
Thank you so much for watching!
Thank you Caroline, thank you Lewis for this beautiful, enlightening, comforting discussion. I leave this podcast with simple, yet precious tools to help in daily life. And with revived hopes, where I tended to feel I can't be fixed. ❤
You're welcome!
I LOVE my fellow Zimbo Dr Leaf. Excellent podcast on so many levels. Would love a second episode with her!!
You may check out another episode with her here ua-cam.com/video/zX4DeCV31YY/v-deo.html
Giving the step-by-step is so useful. I love her🥰🥰🥰🥰!
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Sure part two would really come in handy. Very good info.
Thank you Caroline for this information! ❤& validation!
Try this method it works!!
20 years of doing it & it’s best decision I’ve ever made in our family with my kiddos 😊
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Wow!!!! I cried watching this. Greatness, thank you for your work 🙏
Thanks! Appreciate you for watching.
What a great conversation❤❤❤
Very insightful, I’d love to listen to Caroline again! Thanks 💯😉
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
such an informative conversation. I only wish the audio was better. I can barely hear her. Thank you.
I love everything said in this interview and I love evey question Lewis askedto her. It's amazing to see how well elaborated the questions were. He even asked a question that i had. Awesome message!
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Create a part 2 please! Amazing discussion
Life changing episode. Definitely going to keep her on my radar from now on. thank you.
Thank you so much for watching!
❤love it, it helped me a lot by unerstanding my daughter's lack of energy fo4 1 year.
Thank you both for your knowledge beautiful souls love n light 💚💞
Yes part two! Great show
I am reading her recent book cleaning up your mental mess and this book has a technique to help to manage your mind and thoughts.
What a wonderful interview. Thank you so much
Glad you enjoyed it!
@@lewishowes is there an email if I wanted to share some words with you?
Love this pod cast, thank you!!
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My Zimbabwean home girl, what am amazing interview. Thank you 😊
Thanks for being here!
Yes please do a part 2! Interested what Dr. Leaf has to say about CPTSD.
Yes I would love to know her advice for CPTSD
Caroline looks fantastic. Thank you Lewis for asking such an interesting questions.
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Oh wow! I have learnt so much! So informative, I'll definitely be saving this and watching it over...
So happy to hear this 🧡
PLEEEEEASE do a part 2! 😊 and also ignore that "thumbs down". Ugh.... I tried to hit the "like" thumbs up and accidentally hit the wrong one. I LOVVVVVVE YOUR CHANNEL LEWIS!!! 💖💖💖💖💖
You can always add a thumbs up :) part 2 for sure
This was absolutely amazing...
I loved this and all the wonderful information. Thank you Lewis and Caroline Leaf!!!!,,,,,I am 70 yrs old and still learning how to have better relationships.
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡