I’ve experienced Alive In Wonderland Syndrome (Todds Syndrome) all my life, mostly changes in perception of time and size of body parts. One i would get a lot is how i would always feel like my body was i’m fast forward mode like someone was time-lapsing my movements. And then times where my hands or head would feel 10x larger or smaller.
Derealization is so dangerous. I used to have it a lot and one time I started viewing my family as random strangers. Sometimes I will be hanging out with them and then my mind will suddenly decide that I don’t actually know these people. They notice it too when it happens. I also used to think of my body as not mine, and my belongings were someone else’s. I sort of become empty, lifeless, with no emotion, doing tasks like I’m on auto pilot.
I would just be staring at them, completely detached from myself and my body, my vision is all weird, and I’m looking at them and starting to panic because everything’s so different. I know exactly what u mean by viewing them as random strangers. It’s like u see them, u know them, but everything’s just so wrong and feels so different, and ur kinda like wtf this is so wrong why does this feel unreal. Having derealization before made me terrified of dementia or any form of psychosis because it’s actually so scary how you can loose yourself like that. It’s a very panicking feeling to feel that way, and I was able to control it, I got control of it, but imagine not being able to. So scary
Yeah I get like this sometimes but I just shrug it off and act like that didn’t just happen lmao. I used to have panic attacks from it but I’m just tired of it and hope its not a progressive disease.
Derealization is fucking trippy, wasn't comfortable when I had it a while back, but looking back it's actually quite interesting how something like that forms. The fact that I wanted to be so distant from my environment that my brain just decided it wanted to leave and make everything feel like it wasn't real. It's wild what we are capable off, and how we are barely in control of ourselves.
idk man, I just started to treat it like every other sensation I experience daily It still went on, but I wasn't bothered by it as much after that, Just getting my life together and socializing more really helped me ground back into reality Back in the day I used to just let it hit me and I retreated from the outside world but after actually trying to do something about it and not let it drag me down as much it slowly faded away and I've never felt better
Mine was a cannabis induced panic attack. I'd taken psychedelics before which were he'll sometimes and caused derealisation but it always went away. Then one night I smoked too much, started tripping, felt crazy, panicked. Boom. It happened. Took me 3 years of hell before I (mostly) recovered. I'm still on medication.
@@jackjohnson9548 jeez man, that happened to me when i greened out for the first time but it went away luckily. Psychedelics weren’t even as bad as weed for me though oddly
one of the weirdest things about it was thinking back on it. I have two specific instances whenever I think of my own experience that immediately come to mind. the first one being when I was about 7 and went to an amusement park. its like somebody took a movie clip of the moment and whenever i think about it, i picture myself in front of me but not at all vividly because my perseption was warped, i see my surroundings and then it zooms out to the entire area i was in. the other one is when I was just having a simple conversation in my house and suddenly its like i couldnt figure out how i was saying what i was saying because i didnt think of anything. all that was in my head was how out of my own body i felt and how it felt like i was on some reality tv show.
I have recently discovered I have “exploding head syndrome”. Caused by stress, I will be in a deep sleep and suddenly a loud noise (explosion, fireworks, window breaking) will happen inside my head but not in real life. Leaves me with anxiety for hours afterwards. **Edit** almost 2 years later I didn’t realise this comment got so much attention but I was diagnosed with PTSD. Turns out lack of sleep, high anxiety and a traumatic experience will do this to you. Appreciate all the nice comments
Happens to me sometimes load ringing that wakes me up ever time i try to go back to sleep it happens again along with a weird type of ear pain it hasn’t happened for a month now though
I’ve had that happen a couple of times, and it’s freaky! Once I was falling asleep and this loud growling screaming noise startled me awake. I then realized the sound wasn’t real. I was so worried to go back to sleep because I didn’t want to be jolted awake again.
Me too! I have had it for as long as I remember and always thought it was normal. Since it happens when falling asleep or waking up I made up a scientific explanation that I would just still be in a dreaming state while also awake. When it gets too loud I just open my eyes and it goes aqay so it was easy to deal with too. This year a few months ago I asked my Biology teacher about it(he knows everything💀). I was curious if my theory was right, I was so convinced it was normal that it was the first ever time I told someone about it. He said it wasnt normal at all. My classmates tried to joke around about me living with ghosts and stuff. When I learned it wasnt normal I started asking around and really NO ONE was experiencing it?! 😭 One morning, I heard the sound of ironing but very loud. I assumed my parents already got up for work and I should get up as well. I open my eyes and walk to the door, it was literally morning. The room was light. I open the door and suddenly its night again, no light, just the black quiet corridor. My parents still sleeping. I got my phone on my hand and thought thats enough Im getting to the bottom of this. Wrote everything I experienced and found EHS. I also learned sometimes you could see light as well so it fit. Im curious to learn what kind of noises you hear? Mine are usually shouts, loud talking, someone shouting my name and bell sounds.
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 I think it's because you feel like exploding emotionally, and it manifests in your mind, but I might be wrong, that's just my theory. I sometimes got that too, but it wasn't chronic and the last time it happened was years ago.
Absolutely! I always try and remind people of this. Especially now that 'psychopaths and sociopaths are outdated terms (they fall on the spectrum of Antisocial Personality Disorder) and everyone thinks that is someone has psychopathy, they are going to go kill everyone and blah blah blah. Individuals with ASPD do have extreme symptoms and typically either lack empathy all together or have a very skewed image of empathy. It doesn't mean they are going to act out on violent tendencies towards themselves or others, but it obviously poses a higher risk. They are still people like everyone else, but their brain happens to be wired in a pretty shitty way and I wish we had more treatment plans for individuals on the ASDP spectrum.
I have suffered from Truman Disorder since I was a little kid (like before the movie came out). I assumed there were cameras on me at all times filming me, and everybody around me was just in on it. No paid actors, no set, I was the living the original reality tv, but created by scientists to study human behavior. They air some parts of my day with doctors explaining what and why I do certain things or at least their suspicions as to why I do them. My family always brushed it off as me being silly (different times, folks). It was always very present for me, and I just accepted this as my life, but would have bigger flare ups where I would be afraid to do anything because I knew I would get caught. When I was older and finally in therapy, it took a while to bring this up, because obviously, I didn't want the camera people to know that I know they exist. Even though I knew this wasn't real, I still went through a lot of "but what if it is really?" moments. And treatment took forever, because I lied during most of it. Because if it was real, of course the therapist would want me to think it wasn't real. My thought process was always me trying to play it cautious, because I don't know what kind of consequences I would have if I admitted that I knew about the cameras. Even though I'm better than before (yeah, I can finally do things like have sex without freaking out about accidentally making a porn tape), I'm still not convinced. Just writing this is making me anxious, because once I hit the button and post this, it's out there. Every day can be a struggle because I know it's not happening, but it's also 100% happening. Nobody can prove me wrong, because they would make sure that I have limited access to information so that I wouldn't ruin this decades long study. So if this is real, sorry about the most recent episodes and how boring it's been. You've seen what I'm going through and I'm exhausted.
@@dakotalusk1163 I’ve had Truman Show disorder, it’s not that simple. If it was easy enough to explain away, you wouldn’t be in that mode of thought in the first place. You can’t just “think your way out of it”. It’s logic that got you into it in the first place. Even if it’s faulty logic, it’s still a ‘kind’ of logic. My treatment included years of therapy that happened to include a lot of trial and error of different kinds of medications.
I always though that too thinking that maybe my reality its made up by some aliens that kidnapped me since young to study how much stress a human being can bear
I had a weird phase that was similar, I was pretending to be like a youtuber/tv show guy. Like i'd talk like im on a video. an example was in a car "hey guys, welcome back. we are going on a road trip" and id babble on with stuff like that
@@dakotalusk1163 it has nothing to do with vanity or an inflated sense of self or whatever youre talking about. it has to do with paranoia and detachment. you think this person is happy and comfortable to feel/believe that theyre constantly being watched ? i wouldnt think so.
Man I thought everyone constantly questioned their own existence. I constantly have these anxiety attacks where I think I'm fake and everything else is fake and I don't actually exist. I thought it was normal this whole time.
FR. I used to be so distressed a couple years ago because I felt like everyone around me wasnt real. I kept asking myself “what if” questions like “what if this is all a dream and none of this is real?” It was very stressing and I think it contributed to some of my seperation anxiety. I never talked about it because I thought this was normal, as ive seen plenty of people saying they’ve felt this way. I still feel this way sometimes but it was much more common a few years ago.
YES when I was little I could never enjoy things like celebrations, events, holidays, etc because in the back of my mind the thought "This is all a dream and none of this is real...." always lurked, but now I'm much better and I haven't felt like that in quite a few years.
literally had a mental breakdown like... three hours ago over whether anything was real or not. was pretty scary, i called my friends and they thought i was high lmao. i mean like most people i question my existence when im high but this time i was sober and literally on the edge of having a panic attack
I was not expecting to see depersonalization/ derealization here, it’s something I deal with daily. Thank you for explaining it so well and in a way that didn’t make me feel crazy.
i deal with it daily as well- i actually didn't expect other people to go through this before i was enlightened on the disorder... i've been dealign with it for 5 years now. it's nice to see others who suffer from it as well, it gives me a sense of connection
I have dissociative symptoms due to childhood trauma. Mostly depersonalization. It took me ages to realize that the reason I didn’t like taking pictures of myself or have any sort of opinion on my appearance was actually because I subconsciously didn’t recognize my reflection as actually being myself. Since then I’ve experimented with my appearance and found something that makes it better, but at its worst my depersonalization was so bad that my reflection felt like a doppelgänger rather than a reflection. It was like it was some malicious thing pretending to be human instead of just light reflecting off of glass… not a fun time.
I had dealt with that shit as well a while back when I was 14 after a bad high I’m 23 now and since then have forgotten about it all through my teen years , things will get better. Understanding is everything ,you just gotta focus on other shit and set goals for yourself ,don’t even acknowledge the shit . That worked for me at least
I have Alice in Wonderland syndrome, the episodes aren’t very distressing as they are confusing, it’s mostly altering to my perception of sounds and time, feeling like everything is very loud and repetitive, or time quickly speeds up or slows down, and it becomes impossible to count seconds. It’s very odd, but neat
oh my god i have this too, this is the first time ive ever heard of AiWS outside of my own googling and the wiki page. It's strange for sure, like imagine your hands on your cars steering wheels, except now your arms seem 60 feet long, your car is now the size of a football field and you could 100% believe it. Or you're watching a movie at night in your living room, and you feel like your body truly feels like its the size of an ant and the screen your watching is now the biggest movie screen you've ever seen. All the while (and something I've never read about online), my thoughts in this state turn 'loud'. Like imagine whispered screaming, except not screaming because it's not scary, just like as loud as an inaudible sound in your head can get. Thanks for sharing its nice hearing what other symptoms people have
@@neiro314 yes! i think the size changes are less for me, because I’m definitely affected by them, sometimes getting woozy in my room feeling like I’m triple my height and my bed is far off in the corner, but god the sound is a big part. thoughts being as loud as they can is a very good description of it, it’s never yelling really, and never really bothering, but it’s all very loud, then stops so suddenly
@@maebeenot1023 holy shit dude I love hearing that you get the same thing haha. I’ve been the only one I know of and it’s been happening to me since I was tiny
@@teehee4096 yeah it would if I ever had it in a bad moment but I can’t think of any actually important moment or life or death situation that it would hinder me or stop me from reacting how I normally would honestly
Alice in Wonderland Syndrome is surprisingly common. In my case it was first induced by a fever I had as a child. I used to often lose my perception of size, and it actually felt incredible when I experienced the illusion that my own body was undoubtedly as large as a continent or a planet.
oh yeah, I once practically got heatstroke in kindergarten and as I was struggling to stand in line, waiting for everyone to pick up their toys so we'd be let in, I swayed a bit and from my perspective my head went all the way to the ground one way, hovering about a centimeter away, and then quickly went up and down again as I swayed the other way. I was probably about to pass out, but luckily it wasn't too long before they let us in the air conditioned classroom and with the rush of cool air I was immediately much better.
wait, i kind of remember something similar happening to me when i was a child. not caused by fever, but sometimes when i was falling asleep or just resting my eyes, i would start to feel that my body was extremely thin (basically a stick figure) and/or extremely huge, and it would rapidly switch back and forth and sometimes feel like both at once. it's so hard to explain... it wasn't really a physical feeling of shrinking/growing. y'know how sometimes you just aware of your body and the space it takes up? it was like that perception was changing rapidly... it felt like my normal body, but suddenly it would seem so small yet normal, then the next moment so massive. also sometimes my vision would become super detailed (uncomfortably detailed), and then super smooth for some reason. kind of like if you took a photo and turned down the exposure, cranked up the contrast & definition, and made it kinda grainy. even a blank wall looked complex and overwhelming, and then it would suddenly look very simple and "smooth", like everything was perfect and polished.
Wow, so cool to hear other people's experiences with Alice syndrome. Most of my nights in my childhood I would feel infinitely small, and the next second infinitely tall. It was kind of fun or enthralling, but also so beyond my control that it would keep me up for hours. Thanks for sharing.
@@thisislegalright Me too. I've never been able to describe it so well. I would feel my body shrink to thin as a sheet, even each of my fingers, like the cells themselves changed shape, and then become immeasurably big and fat in the very next moment. I also would go back and forth between the two sizes, and sometimes both at once. I used to get this all the time as a kid, and now as an adult, maybe once or so a year. I've never experienced the super detailed/smooth vision. Thanks for sharing.
I knew someone with lycanthropy disorder. He also believed he worked in the Navy despite being 15. Dude also kept a gun in his book bag just in case of a shooting at school. he actually pulled it on me during a conversation over the name of the song Chop Suey by System of a Down. He was arrested. He was also the councilors son which is ironic.
@@nickmagrick7702 Yeah it was wild. Looking back on it with what he said earlier that day it was clear not all the screws where tight in his head. I still can’t believe it myself some times. It was so surreal.
I actually have Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. I’ve had it since I was little but it’s not as common in my adulthood luckily. It’s quite the experience and trying to talk about it with others as a teenager made me feel like I was going crazy 😂
I have it aswell, I remember experiencing it first time as a child and im still experiencing it occasionally. I haven’t talked about it much with other people
@@FukcAUsername I mean, the short and long of it is that my perception is whack. Things look further than they are or bigger or smaller or closer, it can be distressing at times and confusing, I just describe it as perception problems
my brother had alice in wonderland syndrome, it was severe for him when he was little, and occasionally when he's sick but it hasnt happened for years.
Depersonalization and derealization are so much more common that you’d think. It’s usually a response to trauma as the brains last ditch effort to separate itself from the threat of danger. My gf has had several episodes of this and it’s very surreal every time it happens. The brain is such a fragile but complex thing.
I suffer from derealisation and it is taking a bit of a toll on me at the moment, after doing psychedelics and having a panic attack (i did a spice called nutmeg which lasts for 48hrs) feeling better then having a panic attack from weed then cold turkey off my medication for a week with barely any sleep and bam now i feel not real and often scared. Any advice?
@@Jessamessaa well. It depends, everyone is obviously different and I would say my number one advice is seek a professional. They will be able to test and find the right “tools” for you. My gf had to be put on a light dose of bupropion, she still has panic attacks but they don’t necessarily interfere with her life much anymore. It’s been a little over a year now since her first episode and I would say the last 6 months have been pretty good for her. Other things that professionals will tell you, sleep and diet are extremely important. Your brain needs the necessary nutrients in order to be at a baseline and if you aren’t getting that your neurotransmitters and hormones will go out of wack. Vitamin D3 and D12 and I believe magnesium play a big role in regulating dopamine and serotonin. There are kind of two types of panic attacks, if you have the type that reoccurs and feels worse when you try to calm yourself down, instead try doing something to shock yourself into reality. Dunk your head in ice cold water, try to force yourself to panic, blow really hard into a straw until you feel lightheaded and immediately lay backwards with your legs in the air (you may need another person to help with that one). You can do those things if you are having reoccurring ones and need a trick to stop the episode from coming on. Prayer or meditation is also super valuable and under appreciated. I hope all of that helps but again, if you really want to dial it down you should see a psychologist.
@@Jessamessaa also I’m not sure how old you are but stay away from any psychedelic, weed included. That will more than likely eventually make it worse.
@@Jessamessaa yeah those substances aren’t for everyone and especially if you aren’t 25+ it has a much higher chance of leading to those types of mental disorders. You should treat your mind like any other organ and try to do things to keep it healthy, they can be finicky. If it is taking a toll on you and affecting your life you should speak treatment just like if you had a broken bone or something. What happened to you is very common, there are a lot of psychologists and psychiatrists out there that can help. Also remember that it’s completely fine and normal to get help. In this day in age it’s almost rare to be mentally healthy.
Derealisation is something I live with. My health team and I have never been able to identify what in my life caused it, which makes me feel like I always have to justify it or question it. So already, I never feel quite attached to my reality, and then I question that feeling even more because we don't know what causes it. Just stuck in a gaslighting cycle within myself!
@@KezickTV I hope we do too ❤️ my advice to you is to find some hobbies and people that remind you of a connection to 'reality', and when times get hard to not judge yourself too harshly if you withdraw because it not necessarily something that we can control or really need to. Just be aware of it and communicate with anyone it might affect. Journalling has really helped me but I'm a writer by Nature so it's not for everyone.
Try transcendental meditation, i got derealised from smoking weed and having a panic attack. I suffered with it for 2 months, I thought that was it for the rest of my life. Then I cured it.
nothing in your life caused it, derealization is just a symptom of having no control over anything that happens in your life, the reason they're saying somethings wrong with is so you dont wake up and realize that we live in a shallow world full of people who will lie to you and pump you full of drugs so they can buy a new car this year.
Alcohol and cigarettes addiction actually destroyed my life. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help me with the reliable source. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Netherland. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES very sure of Dr.Burkeshroom. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
Derealization feels like everything is in liminal space. It’s so odd to observe, especially when you’re seeing it in places you’ve been at for years, and it somehow looks and feels different, even though nothing has changed. It can feel so unsettling.
I randomly get this at work with no trigger and I have to snap myself back into reality wich is incredibly hard at a fast food place. Basically no time to do any technique to pull me back so then I end up disassociating all day bearly making it through.
Thank you!! I always describe it as feeling like your constantly in a liminal space like everything is normal but it feels just slightly off and wrong. Idk why but it made me so happy someone else describes it like that.
Derealization is like thinking you're in the matrix. You don't know anything outside reality but you know that it isn't actually real. At times when you feel extremely stressed it feels like someone is trying to unplug you from the matrix, everything gets foggy and kind of numb. It's like experiencing all the characteristics of life without experiencing life itself.
I have the same feeling. Got diagnosed with derealization and depersonalization because it went too far and I actually began to believe that my life was a simulation like The Sims and I thought that if I died I would respawn. The meds helped a lot with the crises and for me today it's kinda about living besides those feelings most of the time, but it's some type of thought that once you experience you can't forget.
I lost my uncle to alzheimer's in 2020 which was made worse by the fact that i couldn't attend the funeral due to lockdowns,our cousin had wait an entire year cause international flights were banned from nz. Then last year i lost both my grandparents within a span of 2 months,i kinda detached myself from trauma. i still don't know if it was derealization or, just my depression coming back given I have had depression for like 5 years .
@@dragonlordsaviour7005 sounds like derealization, it's a natural response your brain does to cope with unbearable stress. I find it comes with depression as well because depression is usually caused by childhood trauma and derealization is just your brain trying to escape reality
alice in wonderland syndrome is such an odd disorder. i was on call with a friend when they experienced AWS,and they described it as "feeling like they're the size of a thimble" and "time simply didn't exist". from a psychology and psych student perspective it's rather fascinating.
Sometimes I lie in the dark, and in my head I know my hand is like on my stomach or whatever, but it feels like it’s miles away. The most common ones that happen to me is my teeth feel really big and round and my hands feels big and heavy. One time when I was really stressed I woke up and my torso felt like it was like a dr Seuss character, like it was a tube and it was all twisted and the room looked really long. It’s an odd experience
I have this when I look at someone in the eyes when they talk to me. Suddenly their head grows HUGE and it looks like it's right in my face. I could never explain it. At times it would be right in front of me and then back to normal rapidly back and forth. What a weird thing. I avoid eye contact for this reason
I remember one of my first derealisation episodes. It happened back in highschool, I was sitting at a bus stop, numb and dissociated. The anxiety of being in a school that I hated, surrounded by people that I hated really took a toll on me, and I'd often zone out to deal with the constant stress. I was looking at the road in front of me, not really thinking about anything, and suddenly it began to rise and fall slowly. It looked as if it were breathing. It didn't disturb me, I didn't feel anything, I just stared blankly as the tarmac pulsed in front of me. I've dealt with derealisation for years, going through life as if in a waking dream. It's not fun, and I have memory problems now because of how long I've dealt with a combination of derealisation, depression, and a fuck of a lot else
high school is LITERALLY the worst. coming from the isolation of quarantine and then getting thrown back into the social setting took a toll on me too. i think i have derealization, but at the same time i wonder if i’ve always been this way, because i can’t remember the way i was before. i don’t know if this helps but i hope you find the middle ground in the darkness
I have something similar happen. If i stare at 1 place too long, my vision looms almost vhs-y and has a weird old 70s or 80s aesthetic. Its pretty cool visuals and i can do it whenever bit i doubt its the same as what you experience. I still feel grounded in reality and fine, not dissociated or anything.
Wait uh, like staring at something for a bit and then it starts moving isn't normal- like for example I would stare at the swim pool ceiling after getting overwhelmed with everything going on. And the ceiling just started moving like a conveyor belt. I uh thought that that was normal- is it not-?
Ohhh I have had similar experiences! :0 I never tought anything unusual about them. I have seen floor tiles pulsing or waving when I'm simultaneously stressed and bored. I have felt like my tongue swells so much it fills my entire mouth, the feeling goes away after some time, it may happen when I'm scared and feel like I want to flee but can't. I may lose my ability to understand speech when I'm very stressed and tired.
I remember a guy with Capgras Delusion who was at a psych ward at the same time I was. His story was so, so sad... I remember once he was talking about it and usually he would say "I thought my parents were replaced by aliens" but that time he said "my parents were replaced by aliens". He didn't turn violent towards them, though. He had a dream in which he was told he had to perform seppuku at the main square of his city for his parents to be returned. Fortunately, his friends realized something was very wrong so they caught him before he managed to do that. I hope he is better now.
Poor guy!!! That is so sad. I hope he is okay. I know of one person who posted their father's text messages to them on Reddit. I didn't know this disorder had a name at the time. None of the commenters seemed to, either. The dad's language was profane and nasty, and constantly alluded to a period of time when his son had been replaced. The strange thing was, he behaved normally enough around other friends and family, but if the father and son were alone the father would verbally and physically abuse the child, enraged at the "government plant" in his house. The child turned 18 and fled the home. We were advising OP to get a restraining order because the father kept alluding to catching his son and harming him. OP described their father as a "narcissist" but no one seemed aware of what Capgras disorder was. He replied to the texts calling his father a coward and telling him he hated him for singling him out and hurting him all the time. This wasn't even a long time ago, it was either last year or 2022. Definitely post Jan 6. I hope that kid is okay.
Been struggling with clinical lycanthropy for years, it's embarrassing and frightening constantly questioning not who you are, but what you are and what type of monster you may become at any given time in the night. It's been going on for a long while but I'll be able to get long term therapy sometime soon though. God bless whoever reads this 🙏
@@beena953 You basically have animal-ish like characteristics, and you look at yourself and you notice some parts of you look like they're becoming the animal that "you are". I look at my hands and I see that I'm growing claws at times. My teeth feel like their canines are growing longer and getting sharper than they should. Sometimes you get joint pain, I get back pain. You begin to make animal noises out of instinct. Craving meat most of the time.
To anyone who experiences derealization, this is what I’ve learned that’s helped me: Learn to recognize when you start to feel it (if it’s episodic). This helps so much because once you’re all the way there you feel like you’re in a different world. Recognizing it allows you to say to yourself “this is what’s happening, this is real.” And then ground yourself. Activate your senses to make you feel grounded in reality. I listen to music really loud. It help me to focus on the words and the sounds and to activate my brain. Or else I’ll just hear people talk and immediately forget bc it seems like a dream. Touch things! Feel the texture, know that this is where you are and this is what it feels like. You’re not floating outside your body. All this really helps me to stay in my body and in reality until I can come out of it. It’s so hard to focus on the world and details when it feels like you’re dreaming. But it’s not a dream, find the details. Let your brain know you’re there
Since it tends to get worse or happens more when you obsess over it due to anxiety when it starts to happen or whenever, I listen to that song Weightless by maricon union I think his name is. Song is said to be specifically engineered to help with anxiety related issued so I listen to it and it helps me calm down during an episode too.
Stendhal or “Florence Syndrome” would’ve been interesting to add here; where people, almost exclusively foreigners, would suffer from tachycardia, profuse sweating, hallucinations, or even loss of consciousness, when in places like Florence, Rome, or Paris; thought to be due to the overwhelming stimuli made more intense by subjectively-summated objects or art of beauty. I remember as a kid growing up in Italy, sometimes the news would talk about tourists fainting at St. Peter’s or in the Uffizi.
I happen to have conversion disorder and I really appreciate you bringing more attention to it. I didn’t know about it until I was diagnosed with it and many many people don’t understand before I explain it.
Honestly feel bad for anyone who has to go through any of these or any other psychological disorder, what makes psychological disorders almost scary to me is the fact that we really know so little about ourselves in that matter, great video as always though
@@nevokrien95 Thats statistically unlikely, I wouldn't take what your friends say at face value. Especially these days where pretending to be mentally ill is something people do for fun.
@@indiomoustafa2047 its not a random selection its my close friends. One of them was with me in a mental hospital the other was diagnosed with autism as a child and the third has five suicide attempts. I fail to see how any of these 3 can be not mentaly ill
@@nevokrien95 I mean I'm not gonna argue with you, you know them better than I do. Lol All I'm saying is theres a shocking amount of people self diagnosing for attention.
I've got DID. It was nice to see a respectful overview of it, considering how violently it is portrayed and treated in media. There's a lot of stigma and fear-mongering, and not a lot of good research on it. It's a pretty invisible disorder most of the time, even to the person who actually has it. It's meant to be a quiet way for the brain to cope with trauma, but it can be pretty distressing to the person who has it, whether or not they know what's going on.
My gf has DID, i love all of them, sadly the host that Fell in love with me and i Fell in love with first doesnt exist anymore since they had enough of the world and basically got absorbed by the new host
@@H.G.Halberd Sorry to hear that--it does happen sometimes. Communication is definitely key when you're in a relationship with a system, but it can be tricky, Especially when someone you were in a relationship with integrates or decides they don't want to front as much.
@@BugHazard luckily the others are all very loveable and loving towards me (when the emotions arent too much to handle for them) and everyone is adorable in their own way but sometimes its a bit complicated when we want to do something more "adult" in bed and one of the little younger ones decides its cuddle time, luckily the caretakers look out that this doesnt happen too often or other things like that
@@H.G.Halberd Hah yeah it happens... No one can keep a little away from cuddle time come hell or high water :) I'm glad it sounds like you're working through things together though! It can be hard to find people who are so understanding about it.
super cool you talked about these :) i’ve been diagnosed with derealization/depersonalization and it was comforting to hear it talked about on a video with a million views. it’s really hard and a lot of people will respond, “oh, i get you! i dissociate all the time, like when im driving home”. no. it’s not that at all. there really no break from it or lull in the symptoms. im constantly doing mindfulness exercises. it’s scary, isolating, and it causes me the most frustrating memory issues ever. anyway be nice to people because their brains probably aren’t being nice to them.
@@Chr.Saint-Michaelyou might think its that easy but we cant control our brain. no matter how hard you try you literally cant. its like watching your life through a tv screen. you literally cant see the world properly, because at least for me, its hard to feel present or in my own body and i cant see the world as it is. dont think we dont try
@@taylormichalski501 hmm interesting thx for explaining you seem like a normal dude you can type normal, maybe its just some weird shit that doesnt even matter that much if it doesnt hurt you
@@Chr.Saint-Michael basically yes. doesn’t necessarily effect anything but my perspective of the world. just mostly blurred and everything is out of focus kinda it’s insanely frustrating because i really feel trapped
@@taylormichalski501 well if you think about it everyone is trapped but you are also free to do what you want to do and that can be freeing. I for example enyoy weight lifting and climbing maybe something that you enyoy doing can also take your thoughts away for a bit
when the pandemic just started, my whole family never left the house for a whole year. This is because both my mom and my grandmother suffer from autoimmune diseases and with all the paranoia of the first months of the pandemic, they found no more rational solution than to completely lock us up in an extremely hermetic way. details aside, this generated a huge psychological impact on me the first few months and with the passage of time I began to develop a quite apparent derealization. it was wild. I will never forget the day where I looked in a mirror and I couldn't recognize myself, I was very scared because I didn't know who was behind the glass. my days felt weird, i felt like floating, i was too disconnected from my own body. I stopped feeling things like stress, that feeling of urgency, fear, happiness, enjoying the things I like all because nothing I lived felt real my days felt like when you make up a fictional story of yourself before bed... nothing had real weight. I spent a lot of time hiding from mirrors, and living in a kind of alternate reality. my family's extreme measures started to loosen up a bit and when I started to go out again, to talk again with other people who were not the same ones who are in my house, and gradually return to the routine I did before everything exploded, I slowly began to recover. As of today I'm pretty mentally healthy (from the derealization, I still have a few different things to deal with haha) but i still get a little scared when i see a mirror for the first time in the morning, it was a very surreal experience. I hope I never feel it again. It wasn't THAT bad really, but for a long time in my later years I didn't feel like a real human being, I felt like I had been imagining myself for several months.
I'm sorry you had to go through this. It's terrifying what isolation can cause. So I'm glad you're doing better now :) It's kinda weird how we look at these moments and feel like "okay I guess it wasn't that bad after all I got better and stuff" but it really was that bad for you and it's kinda scary how we could get into that place.
I didn’t know there was a feeling of urgency. I don’t consider myself to have this problem because I don’t view it in the same way but I’ve had those symptoms my whole life. I just still recognize that me is me.
The 2020 quarantine also did horrible damage to my mental health, I ended up having a psychotic episode and voluntarily admitted myself into a mental hospital. I'm fine now though but it was really scary at the time
I'm almost like 99% sure that I don't have derealization or the other one, but for some reason since I was born whenever I look in the mirror I know that that isn't me, I know it has to be. But it isn't, what I am looking at is a stranger. I'm guessing for me it has something to do with my gender dysphoria, but I don't know
DPDR happens to me after panic attacks and I can describe what it feels like. It’s like an exact copy of yourself sitting behind your eyes using them like windows to watch your own actions. Like a first person game that lets you look around to see your legs and arms and body. The feeling of moving your muscles or speaking barely registers it’s like you are just commanding your shell (your body) to move. You’re essentially being two people at once, one that thinks and observes and the other that interacts with the world. This feeling is temporary but for me can last for almost a month. When I first felt it, I would panic and think I was stuck like this forever which would begin a loop. I’ve found that trying to live completely normally and act as if nothing is happening helps me to recover faster. By now I’ve experienced it so many times I know it will end and I can be comfortable until then. Stay healthy everyone.
I have episodes of this and you explained it perfectly. Thankfully mine never last for more than a day. But my psychiatrist says they could be set off by similar things to epilepsy. I feel it happen a lot when I go from a dim room with few people to a bright room with many people. (Like movie theaters)
This seems to resemble how I perceive myself in lucid dreams. I would sometimes realize I’m dreaming because of the weird feeling, but not be able to wake up, so I would cruise around until I did. Places and time would shift a lot: I may be walking in school then suddenly plop in front of the dinner table. Thankfully the dreams were rarely unpleasant.
hey this is probably a year late (sorry) but I just read your comment and it really really helped me to hear exactly how I've been feeling the past year or so. I've never really known how to describe it but you have explained this so well and I don't feel like I'm crazy anymore so thank you! I hope you're doing well :)
i have a kind of conversion disorder known as psychogenic non-epileptic seizures, and one thing i learned recently from my neurologist is that its entirely possible to have non-epileptic AND epileptic seizures- sometimes these can occur in the same episode too. conversion disorders like what I have are also commonly treated using cognitive behavioral therapy or dialectical behavioral therapy to help learn skills to better manage triggers/pull yourself out of disregulated states
When I was going through a period of bad mental health I was in a medical setting with other patients. There was this one girl who seemed perfectly fine, rather friendly, and empathetic about how all the other patients were feeling. However, she was insistent that her su*cide attempt had been successful and she was now dead. She refused to wash (idk why but I guess because dead people don't shower?) and would claim that the smell was "proof" she was decomposing. Never heard of Walking Corpse Syndrome before this, and obviously not going to diagnose someone I only briefly met like eight years ago, but makes me wonder.
I have Truman syndrome. It was worse before, but from time to time the suspicion resurfaces with great strength and puts me into a very detached state of mind. Say I'm talking to someone and my Truman suspicion gets triggered for some reason, it makes me interpret every word from there on out as if I'm being conveyed a secret message. This is of course a state of mind very incompatible with conversation. It has gotten better. Through exposure therapy I experience these episodes less frequently and with less intensity. But I notice that underneath I am going about my life with the constant suspicion that there is something everyone else knows, but me. And that is a very uncomfortable suspicion to have. My suspicion is not a TV-show suspicion, like Truman himself had (and revealed). Mine is a spiritual one. I have seen the DMT realm, and yes, that is definitely what made me question all this. Me knowing this does not make the suspicion any less rational, though. I do not think I'm being watched by other humans. But I do believe I might be watched by otherworldly spiritual entities, and that maybe even I am not really human, but chose to forget I am not for the sake of entertainment, and that my otherworldly friends are watching my experience. It is fucked up anyhow. Regardless if it's true or not. If it isn't then I'm crazy. If it is then the world is crazy. Edit: Oh. And I forgot to mention that I at age 14 went through the norwegian utøya massacre. Pretty traumatic. So if this is simply a mental disorder, and not a suspicion that turns out to be true, then it is not just due to having played with psychedelics like DMT, but also because of that experience at age 14.
I want to smoke dmt but my family’s mental health history is terrible so kinda on the edge with it, also I think that’s your ego tryna get it’s position back, anyways sorry to hear about your situation sounds undesirable much love anyway brother
@@titahibay2362 I initially reacted negatively to the ego part of your response. But I can't rule it out. It would make a lot of sense. Regardless, I'm never getting anywhere near spiritual practice again. Even without psychs, spirituality can twist your mind in all sorts of ways, including bad ones.
It wouldn't be very surprising to entertain that a traumatic experience could have such an effect on you. There are many instances of people that have near death encounters who have had experiences before, during or after the instance believing that god or some force spared them in that moment. That it wasn't their time to go. That of course doesn't exactly describe your situation. It's just speculative. I've had psychedelic experiences myself as well. And it really has even made kind people seem horrifying to me during bad trips. I think it's something to be done with much consideration and caution. Even with the supposed mental health benefits it could have it doesn't feel very responsible at all sometimes. Especially when you look at the Manson family types. Your theory also reminds me of that one South Park episodes where earth is just some reality TV show for aliens. Who knows really, though as you said spirituality can be a double edged sword. It can make you feel euphoric, but it can also put you through some really bad times that might not be very fun for yourself or others. I do think it's fascinating however that shamanistic cultures do find themselves all over the world. I've definitely gone from a former christian atheist to an agnostic at this point. There's just no way of how we discern reality. We all seeme to just be biological machines made by billions of cells interpreting the world through our limited perception. Even if we think we have mastered it through scientific methods. The quantum questions still show us there's much more than meets the eye. In the end we're all just human beings living on this rock in space. Make of it what you will.
You were specifically diagnosed with Truman syndrome and not schizophrenia or OCD? Generally Truman syndrome is understood to be a secondary condition caused by other illnesses.
@@titahibay2362 I am Schizotypal but have smoked DMT as well as taken lsd, shrooms, salvia etc etc. Can recommend all of them if in the right set and setting! :)
I think Fregoli disorder or foreign accent syndrome would be interesting to put in. Fregoli disorder is where you believe everyone you know is one person in disguises, and foreign accent syndrome is a condition, most often after a stroke, where you seem to speak in an accent from another country even if you’ve never been to that country and aren’t of that nationality or ethnicity. For example you could have a stroke and end up with a French accent even if you’ve never been to France or are French at all.
Something I feel is important to add here: Foreign accent syndrome is entirely explained by someone's speech patterns changing in some way after a brain injury. They're not speaking in a _particular_ different accent at all; it's the brains of the people _around_ them that automatically (and erroneously) map it onto an accent they already know because it's similar-ish. When speaking different languages, I like to refer to each accent as having a different "mouth feel" to it. There are certain patterns in the way you move your mouth and tongue. They're subtle but fairly consistent. You tend to move certain parts of your mouth more than in others, or less. Inhibited control over the facial muscles resulting from a brain injury would very easily impact those habits enough to no longer sound like you speak with the same accent.
i used to experience derealization a lot when i was a kid because i was being bullied at school. Everything I saw seemed grayer and paler, and everything I touched felt like it wasn’t actually me who was touching it. When derealizing, I felt like I would see things from a perspective about a foot above where my eyes are. My thoughts were always a second too long apart from each other. I had to remind myself to breathe, even though I felt like I was not in control of my body. Idk if this is even a possible symptom but everything smelled different too. Like, the scents different things had felt muted or far away or wouldn’t instantly smell, like if I directly sniffed a flower or candle I knew to be strongly scented it wouldn’t really hit me right away. I would try to converse with my sister during these times and told her what I was feeling. She looked up what it was for me and was concerned, but it never occurred to me until now that she didn’t judge me for it. Just wanted me to feel grounded again.
I have OSSD 1b, which is a disorder like DID but without amnesiac barriers between alters (basically we are able to know what others do while fronting) and I’m very thankful that you did not say that the host was the “original” personality. It’s a very common and irritating misconception that one alter is the “real” one and the rest are from the disorder but the fact of the matter is that the reason we have the disorder in the first place is BECAUSE the mind never solidified into one identity so there can BE no original.
(Also have this disorder) I've seen it described as dropping a plate and it shattering, not one piece is the "original" since they all were broken at the same point
@@BzotsOutOfIllinois3500 Are you seriously so stupid that you think this kind of paranoia bait would do anything to someone with OSDD? OSDD is not even close to psychosis.
So do different alters have completely different interpretations of events (interactions with loved ones, for example.. not like The Super Bowl)…even they you agree on the facts?
@@DrDeuteron Yes actually. Different thought processes can lead to things being interpreted very differently. One of our protector alters, Aubrey, absolutely HATED a few of our friends that I was completely enamored with. (He turned out to be right but that's besides the point 💀)
My grandmother had Alzheimer's, and the first major symptom that let everyone know something was wrong was Capgras. Looking back, she'd had minor signs for at least five or more years, but this was the first noticeable one. When it started, she seemed fairly mentally "normal," except she was convinced her husband (of 50+ years, who was suffering from another form of dementia himself) had been "replaced." She wouldn't talk about it in front of him, and at first, she was afraid to tell my dad and aunt (her children) what she believed. She would say somewhat cryptic things that could jokingly be taken metaphorically, like, "that's not the man I married" and "who are you and what did you do with my husband?" She would even say them jokingly, but then look at my dad with a wink, as if she was giving clues. When she finally shared her thoughts with my dad and aunt, it was clear it was very upsetting to her. They only tried to convince her he was her husband to comfort her, but it didn't work. My dad moved in to care for them, and during that time, both got sicker, with her Capgras becoming more obvious. My grandpa passed away first, and my grandma did not understand that it was her husband who had died. At the funeral, she externally "played along" that it had been her husband, but later, she would refer to him as "the other man." Just curious one night when she was talking about the other man, my dad asked her, "where do you think your husband is?" She said, "I don't know! That's what I've been trying to figure out! It's a big mystery!" A few minutes later, she exclaimed, "I know how we could solve it! DNA!" I'm very thankful to the hospice team who figured out what it was and explained it to us.
I used to get Alice and wonderland syndrome occasionally. It never happened perpetually, but usually it would happen when I woke up and I was completely thrown off. Like my mind turned off depth perception completely. Reaching out for a door handle it appeared literally 20 feet away even though it was within arms reach. Hallways sometimes only a few feet long but as I walked they got longer and longer. I had to slide down the stairs because there was no getting around that.
My mother and I suffered from Alice in Wonderland Syndrome when we were children. It came in episodes and for me they were usually preceded by a weird headspace where I would imagine a series of finger-like tangled objects, each more confusing and more difficult to untangle than the last. When I would inevitably imagine an object that I couldn't see how to untangle, the episode would start. Something I don't always see mentioned is the distortion of sound it can cause. For me the episodes would cause all sounds to have a certain character to them. Every sound would ring out with a particular kind of timbre, and for some reason this timbre felt inherently anxiety-inducing. I hated it so much! I thankfully don't experience AWS anymore but sometimes if I try really hard I can "induce" the feeling for a split second
@@gagebrandon6674 It is great to be able to talk to others with this experience. It's such a distinct and disturbing feeling that you don't just forget! Nice not to feel crazy :P
I had something like this, but as an after-effect of a 2cb trip. I was mostly back to sober and had no visuals or anything, but my depth perception looked like a relief (that sculpting method found in ancient Greece, and sometimes in Chinese restaurants). Unlike regular visuals you get with those trips, this felt more like a solid change in perception.
I had that was a kid too. I saw all kinds of things and some sights would register in my brain as sounds. It was so confusing sometimes I would cry or not want to leave my bed because the room looked like it had no open space for me to walk. Life was weird. Idk how to describe it. My parents were freaked out but it eventually got rid of itself
I don’t usually tell people this but I have DID, I was professionally diagnosed by a psychiatrist about 2 years ago. I am still confused about my own disorder. Currently I know of five other personalities/ altars. It feels nice not being portrayed as some kind of monster like in the movie split.
I love hearing more conversations around conversion disorder; it is just as real as a neurological disorder, just not as life threatening such as geniuine epilepsy. It is all in our heads, but that doesnt mean it isnt real.
i randomly clicked on this video and did not expect to see conversion disorder on here. i was diagnosed around a month ago and was really confused when i was told i had it (because i had no idea what it was). it’s just not something you hear about, mostly cause it isn’t that common, but seeing it here i was like “omg someone else knows what this thing is”. it’s definitely a weird one to describe to others, and i always love concerning friends when i’m like “haha i have seizures kinda often so pls be prepared, i’ll let you know when i feel one happening but from there it’s up to you to not call for emergency services i am not spending 10 hours in a hospital bed for no reason.” basically what i’m saying here is that i’m glad to see a video that actually talks about it and shares what the disorder is to other people.
It's now called FND. Also it doesn't have to be the result of trauma. It's the most common 'rare' condition and I'm glad we're finally getting some recognition.
Same I really think that if I talk to a doctor about it I would just make up a mental illness because I can't be 100% sure of what I am feeling it's almost like thinking it's normal but you don't know what you should tell them like if I am just pretending and I usually forget about panic attacks so even if I go to a doctor I would get a fake diagnosis and later would get worse than ever
@@hawhaw6815this doesn’t sound like conversion disorder by how you wrote that comment. But I can’t be sure it was hard to read as one bit sentence. If you have panic attacks that is a different disorder that is very treatable with therapy and medication. Conversion disorder is also treatable. Don’t be afraid to tell your doctor and/or psychiatrist about how you are feeling. If you are unsure how you feel, focus inwardly and journal about what you feel inside. Write it down in words everyday. Just the journaling itself could help immensely.
6:27 This is not the term for this disorder that most sufferers of it use, or that recent scientific papers use. It is called BID, meaning Body Integrity Dysphoria (It is also frequently called BIID, meaning Body Identity Integrity Disorder. The term BID is kinda recent so you'll probably see BIID more often really.) I have this disorder, it is not sexual in any way (although I do not deny it may be for some), and it is more complex than simply a "desire to mutilate parts of the body". It feels as if my left forearm (the part of my body affected by BIID) is not mine or in someway does not belong to me, like some sort of parasite, so I believe I _need_ to be rid of it. I cannot speak for those who desire to be blind or paralyzed or anything of the sort, but I imagine it is fairly similar in concept. I am very aware that this is not a healthy desire, is not normal, and that my arm is perfectly physically healthy, and it's removal would cause great disadvantage to me in many areas, I am aware that I am fairly lucky to be in a completely able body. I am not delusional. BIID is a neurological condition, and stories about how much of a struggle it is to be disabled is not going to cure it (I see these very frequently on videos discussing BIID, calling the existence of people who have it "disrespectful") I personally wouldn't liken it to being transgender, although it I won't deny that it is similar in concept. The thing is that gender is a social construct that we've merely associated with genitalia and such, meaning that, for example, a trans man identifies as a man, and therefore is a man. This is very much not possible to do with most disability. Very much sorry about the wall of text. If I have more to say I'll do it in the replies. If anyone stumbling upon this actually reads it and has any questions, feel free to ask them. TL:DR apotemnophilia is not called that, and is also a bit more than just wanting to mutilate yourself.
@@thesuccessfulone No, not really. at least to my knowledge (although, my knowledge of alien hand syndrome is very little, and there isn't much proper medical information on BIID either.). I suppose it could cause something similar to BIID? but I really don't know. BIID is likely something that you're born with, and alien hand is the result of some forms of brain damage IIRC. I suppose I can see the connection though, as BIID often manifests as feeling as if a body part doesn't belong to you, and alien hand syndrome is a body part basically not belonging to you lmao.
@@jennathomas4274 I personally haven't tried anything, so I can't really say. Although, from what I've seen online, therapy doesn't really help in almost all cases, and achieving the desired disability can basically cure it. I like to draw on my arm when I'm having a particularly bad day, a lot of the time I'll draw a dotted line specifically where I want my arm cut off. It doesn't really lessen the BIID but it makes me smile.
The difference between the two is that one is desired to be inflicted on other people other than themselves, well that’s what I believe please correct me if I’m wrong
(This is an extremely long one, I apologize) As someone with OSDD (basically a "mild" form of DID), I want to applaud you for your explanation and also clear up a few things. (If you don't want to read all of this, skip to the second section, that's where the important stuff is). First, that disclaimer is really important and I'm glad it was started that way, especially with the video title being "15 weirdest disorders". Second, dissociation is something I've struggled with since around 5 years old. Whenever I looked at myself too long or thought about my name too much, I started to question if I was even real. Which are disturbing thoughts for a 5-12 year old to be having. More recently it's come in the form of feeling like I'm just a spectator in my own life, or a "camera" that's just filming anything, not a living being. Also thank you for normalizing dissociation, because it is a completely normal thing to experience once in awhile, especially after periods of stress. People with more "mild" disorders can also experience greater amounts of dissociation, like people with ADHD, autism (I believe), and those with other trauma disorders. I do want to clear up/add some information about DID, though. The basic description was good for a surface-level overview of the disorder. Something that rubbed me the wrong way however was the "causes". It is indeed caused by childhood trauma, specifically severe, repeated, inescapable trauma. However, "clinicians inadvertent suggestibility has caused DID" is not correct. This implies that DID is not a real disorder and is caused by clinicians telling their patients they have this, which is not the case. I'm sure there are some who are misdiagnosed with this disorder, in most cases doctors will diagnose a patient with everything under the sun before diagnosing one with DID. If a patient has "symptoms" but doesn't actually have the disorder, they likely have another disorder called Munchausen syndrome (a mental disorder where a patient fakes illness to gain attention and sympathy). DID is a very real disorder that already has a lot of stigma and people believing it's fake, so it's unfair to display it this way. *Resources: www.docdroid.net/arPAtHT/van-der-hart-2006-the-haunted-self-pdf (Onno van der Hart, Ellert R. S. Nijenhuis, and Kathy Steele's "The Haunted Self); did-research.org/ (DID Research); www.isst-d.org/ (The International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation, a professional organization which specializes in trauma and dissociative disorders)* For anyone interested, I will explain the science behind DID/OSDD. For more information, see the resources above. For simplicity's sake, I will just be saying DID, but the same can (typically) be applied to OSDD as well. The current leading theory an dissociative disorders is called "Structural Dissociation", outlined in van der Hart's "The Haunted Self" (first listed resource). It explains that the mind does not start out as a whole consciousness, rather a group of "ego states" control the mind. These states are very simplistic, controlling different needs and desires in an infant/toddler's life like hunger, thirst, love, things they enjoy, etc. As one matures, these ego states fuse together to create the whole self. However, repetitive denial of these desires can cause the ego states to not fuse properly, resulting in a split consciousness. The traumas have to occur before the age of fusing, which experts believe is somewhere between 3 and 5 years old, though some research goes as high as 9-11 years. Dissociation of this severity is the brain's *final* defense mechanism against severe trauma, when fight or flight fails repeatedly (which babies and toddlers normally don't have anyways). Most children will appear to develop somewhat normally. Though some may show signs of PTSD or mild dissociation, symptoms of the disorder normally don't arise until late teens and beyond. However, some may live their entire lives without knowing they have this disorder. This is because DID is meant to be a hidden disorder, to protect the body and conscious mind from it's own trauma. The purpose is to keep memories out of the conscious, "working" mind, so the person can live their life as normally as possible. People with DID often experience denial and the feeling that their alters are fake, even if their symptoms and behaviors are affirmed by medical professionals and loved ones. Symptoms don't normally start appearing until the body/brain has been in a safe(r) environment for a long period of time, or when diagnosed by a clinician (which might be where "clinicians inadvertent suggestibility has caused DID" came from). Once the brain has registered that it's in a safe and stable environment, it is typically able to begin healing. The healing process for DID is often very messy, as things seem like they're getting worse for a long time before they start to get better. Patients with DID often have to spend decades in therapy to heal, including years spent in therapy before diagnosis. DID is considered very rare and is also highly stigmatized, as seen in the movie "Split" or recent media. However, DID is not as rare as many think. The estimated prevalence for DID is as high as 1% of the population, which doesn't seem like a lot, but this means there is likely at least one person you know who suffers from DID, whether they know it or not. There is *way* more I can talk about, however this is already very, very long. If you read this far, thank you for bearing with me 🥲 Make sure you do research before talking about things, especially highly stigmatized disorders (not saying this video didn't, but that one part- 😬). If you have questions I'll be happy to answer them 😁
@@Amikqvz it's not rude. I'm currently working on a diagnosis, but the process is typically very long. Most OSDD/DID patients are in therapy for 7+ years before a diagnosis is made, and it's difficult to navigate because so little is known or taught within psychology or neuroscience, plus the stigma which I mentioned before. Some people in the field have gotten threats that make them turn away from the field or not pursue it to begin with, while others implement toxic to abusive treatments from the 80's and 90's due to limited education, and end up doing more harm than good. The best thing is to find a therapist/psychiatrist that's understanding and wants what's best for their patients, whether they have expertise or not, and to trust your own instincts (if you're looking for help for yourself/someone you know.) Sorry that I don't have a lot of personal experience yet, but I hope this helps in some way :)
@@MM-pv5tp it is an unfortunately very common occurrence the amount of nasty shit i've heard or even been told right to my face about dissociative disorders While having one is insane
I have ADD and sometimes reading something is a lot like how you described visual agnosia. You'll look at the words and string together the sentences but you can't interpret them, or at least keep them in your head long enough to remember what they communicated after a couple seconds.
@JERKSIMULATOR I read a lot and I do well in english because I work hard. But I'm still working way harder than anyone else because of my diagnosis. I can't fucking believe you're calling someone dumb because they have a literal mental disorder bruh.
@plantopiamedics you're giving people false hope. either that or trying to sell them drugs, or just scamming them. I'm not quite sure which it is or which is worse but you should stop either way.
@plantopiamedics Don’t advertise in comment sections. It only shows that you’re desperate and if you’re desperate it’s likely because your product sucks.
Absolutely! It's incredible to see how psilocybin mushrooms and psychedelics have the potential to make a positive impact on mental health. They've shown promising results in treating depression and anxiety. It's exciting to think about the possibilities they hold for helping people.
Having someone talk about depersonalization/derealization made me feel a surprising comfort. It’s been a battle for over 10 years. Thanks for talking about it!
Conversion disorder is also know as Functional Neurological Disorder. I developed it a few years back. My speech was massively impacted and i had to use a cane to get around. Life revolves around avoid stress, because thats the only way to reduce the symptoms.
I experience derealization and depersonalization on and off, my main theory about why I personally experience it in episodes is my body and my brain don't communicate very well (evidence: I have broken my toe without noticing, I literally forget to eat for entire days if I don't have cravings or remind myself with alarms, my circadian rhythm seems almost nonexistent) so when I really really need something (think food, water, sleep, the basic basics) and my body is sending all these signals and my brain just leaves the chat. I feel like I have been placed about half a foot to the left of my own body, or that my legs never end, or that my head is completely weightless, or just this general feeling of *off* where everything is just wrong enough to freak me the hell out but trying to communicate what is actually wrong is impossible, or any combination of all that bullshit. Usually it goes away if I resolve whatever I've been neglecting, and even if it doesn't, hell even if Im completely off base and it was never the root cause in the first place, having some quick food and water and then taking a nap is never a bad response to "aw no my brain broke again"
Same the funniest and scariest one I had was when I felt like my brain was just floating by its self. It was like i was spinning and flying in like a tornado pattern but I was just sitting there. And during the day it feels like your in a dream and everything is foggy. Like objects seem so fake
Derealization is so terrifying and draining it feel so real and nothing can snap you out of it no reassurance can help only until your mind decides to snap back but it doesn’t feel real it’s kinda like you went into one world to the other and back and forth
I could remember several years ago I suffered from severe depression and mental disorder. I was addicted to illicit pills, alcohol, and smoking until I was recommended for psilocybin mushroom treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly I'm 8 years clean now. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against anxiety and depression.
To be honest, mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on the planet and it is natural, they serve in many ways not only for mental related issues.
Can you help me with a reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. It is very hard to get a reliable source here in New Zealand. Really need!
Yes, Sporeville. I had the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction... Mushrooms definitely made a huge difference to why I'm clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He's 59 & has many mental health issues plus probably CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD knows if it is common for an obsession with violence.
As many here, I not only suffer from derealisation that happens in episodes, I have constant derealisation. I‘d describe it as being detached from your mind and reality. This is different for everyone though! - Some people only experience the detachment from reality, while others might just experience detachment from their mind. Your thoughts might feel slow, as if there is cotton in your head. While you might not feel visual or auditory effects, you know something is different. If it is your first time experiencing it, you might feel as if you are going crazy, some people feel as if they are in hell. Being detached from yourself is one of the worst things we can feel, it damages us while it is actually supposed to be protecting us against trauma since derealisation is a stress response. No matter how disgusting you feel, it is not harmful, you are not going crazy and it will most likely fade over time! - sometimes quicker, sometimes slower. My life has been challenged by it quite a lot. Wether I had to leave class because I‘d start having problems hearing properly, sounds would be louder or quieter, my perception of time was messed up and objects and distances were bigger and smaller than they actually were (This also seems to be Alice in Wonderland Syndrome). Often I‘d feel as if I am not real, as if nothing is. I knew this was not right (therefore not a delusion) but it felt as if it was. I started panicking and it made my life hell while I was already suffering from other disorders. My memory got worse and so did my concentration, speaking wasn’t difficult but i‘d often forget words or mumble around. The only thing that helped was stopping the constant research on how to stop it and trying to ignore it. While I still feel it, ignoring it every time i notice it makes everything easier. Derealisation is the only time when forgetting is the better option! Just know that if you ever feel this way feeling scared is alright, but there is no need to worry. Life goes on, just make sure to talk to someone you trust about it.
@Pylo If you have ever watched the movie IT, it is just like that, when you face your fear of it, it will be killed. As ironic as this sounds, it is caused by a loophole of anxiety your mind has made about it. As soon as you learn to embrace, accept and be fearless of DR, it will go away, i promise. I have dealt with it for 5 months on-and-off after a 12 hour long bad trip from weed (it was my first time doing anything, plus chemically it is just not made for me) and I have fully felt like it would never get better, but as i write this i am confident that it does. Accept it, try not not to google symptoms (makes anxiety worse), remember that it will never ever cause any other issues, no matter how bad your experience is (this is what i struggled to accept the most), and remember that DR is simply a natural reaction to intense and long periods of anxiety. I promise, you will get better, and it is 100% possible to feel exactly like you again. Best wishes and remember to stay strong, dealing with something like this is a true indicator of how strong you are
@Pylo I get what you mean. As hard as it is I have found “forgetting it” to be the best way to help it go away. I think doing “grounding” anxiety coping strategies helps, e.g. sometimes if I walk outside or am talking to someone and it suddenly gets really bad and I feel completely disconnected, I stop for a minute and breathe and just look at things around me and tell myself they are there and that everything is fine (“the sky is blue and I’m gonna be okay, that bench is green and I’m gonna be okay, my shoes are black and I’m gonna be okay” is a good grounding exercise as you associate things that you know to be real/true with knowing you will be okay). I know there are times when it feels unbearable and times when you feel crazy but you will get through it. Do what you love and even though there will be ups and downs you will be okay and you may get to a point where derealisation/depersonalisation is a rare occurrence. I hope that helps but if not there are way more ways you can try to calm your anxiety to help deal with your derealisation. Have a good day/night :)
I honestly fear so much that I'm developing schizophrenia. I've dealt with hallucinations ever since I can remember, which were usually just visual hallucinations at like the age of 3-4 and onwards. but as I'm getting older its slowly getting worse I'm seeing things constantly, hearing things and feeling things that are not there. I get some comfort when I'm not alone but when I am in the house alone I end having panic attacks and having to phone someone to come get me as I fear my life is in danger. People keep telling me not to self diagnose my self and that's not what I'm doing at all but all of my symptoms point towards schizophrenia and possibly derealisation as the hallucinations make me question my self and surroundings. its honestly becoming a huge problem as I'm in my last year of school and I've been failing since my second year. I actually tried to talk to my mum about this but its frustrating as she doesn't really believe in mental illness unless its extreme and visible, which is just even more frustrating as her herself struggles with multiple mental illnesses but she's afraid ill be placed into a mental hospital over schizophrenia. Also although it is constant I sometimes get episodes which I cannot fully remember where it is extremely bad and I only really know about them because of people who were around to witness them but for the most time I am alone when I get these episodes. I literally don't know what to do in getting help as I don't know who to turn to :|
Schizophrenia isn't diagnosed until q8yrs of age or older. Symptoms may show briefly in an early psychotic episode. Mostly it's late 20s for male, 30s for females. By ignoring hallucinations you recall from age 3? You are actually causing your own brain damage. The idea is to get helpnearly, medications nock the misfiring pathways in the early stages, preventing the development of permanent pathways in the brain. Don't self diagnose see a Dr and have uour history you've identified written out. Stopping the aberrant pathways earlier than later regardless of Mommy, will be to your advantage. You could have a brain growth, but no you've diagnosed yourself by internet. Signed a ER RN and Clinical Psychologist.
@@joywebster2678 I literally said I wasn't self diagnosing, I'm not saying I have it at all I just have symptoms of it, it could literally be nothing lol
@@kenziboyle9072 that person was being a mega douche and i feel bad for anyone that goes to them for medical care. I wish you the best on finding answers . It’s ok to do so on your own terms.
I suffer with DID. I have 24 distinct parts, and have been managing it somewhat successfully for 3 years now. The symptoms have been present for as long as I can remember, and DID also inherently comes with Depersonalization and Derealization. And I can confirm it comes from childhood trauma. I was put through some of the most horrifying things as a child... and I had my symptoms appear before even ever seeing a therapist. Even as early as 5 years old my family members have told me stories about my strange unpredictable behavior, using "funny voices" consistently, changes in demeanor, and memory problems. These kinds of disorders can really make one question what is real and what isn't. Oh, and for those curious, I am on good terms with the other parts. We're a team. It's called integration!
how did you find out?? i have underlying symptoms and i black out lots, experience derealization, have absence in memory and well,, i often "do things" that i hva no memory of doing
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I don't have DID, but I've met several people that have multiple parts to themselves. The first thing I want to tell you is how incredibly strong and awesome you are for not only finding a way to manage your DID, but even be on good terms with the others and accept them. Even being just ONE person seems so incredibly daunting, and at 19 I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I want and what the future has in store for me. Doing that 24 times over!? That is incredible to me. I remember the first time I learned about it -- it was when a friend confided in me about it. We talked for a while and they told me about their other personality (only one at the time, but more appeared in later years, not sure how many). And at the end, I understood what was happening logically but couldn't understand it psychologically. The idea of having another person in my head still confuses me sometimes. Then, a while later, I started talking with another friend who also had DID (that I met through the first one), and I felt the same way. Then one day the three of us were hanging out, he went to use the bathroom or something and when he came back, he seemed not just different but out of it. Spacing out, maybe like 20% himself. He didn't have the capability to tell me for that moment, but I think what was happening was he was switching personalities and couldn't really talk or process anything. I saw him... fade within himself, if that makes sense. Then he switched completely, but I remember it wasn't at all like how they make it look in the movies. I thought watching that process happen would have seemed more "crazy" like people make it sound. But it was more scary than anything, because his other personality was really scared and confused. The other personality was I think a much younger boy. He didn't know who we were, and he was talking in a higher and more timid voice. Of course, he was using the voice box he was born with, so he still sounded a little like my friend, but it didn't seem like he was putting in effort to make that voice. In that moment, that WAS his voice, and I wasn't sure how to comfort him or what to do. My friend, having experienced DID, was able to reassure him until the primary personality came back. But I remember just sitting there almost completely in silence because I didn't know how to help or if I even could, and I felt awful. I still feel awful for being too confused to try. For letting something unfamiliar cloud my inherent desire to help someone that was close to me. And I feel awful because I have a strong feeling that if something like that happened again, I would feel similarly stuck. He did come back, but he was just off the rest of the day, and I really wish I had said something more or consoled him more, because I think I could have made him feel better. I know it's a lot to read... it just brought back quite a few memories for me and I felt like I had to share.
@@jax2322 i think finding a good trauma informed therapist, did specialists are almost inexistant but did is a reaction to trauma and if you talk to a specialist then that might help but i havent been diagnosed yet so this advice might not be that useful
i used to experience something similar with truman syndrome, i would believe i was constantly being watched and that everyone around me knew something, nice to know it has a name haha
I have dissociative identity disorder, and it pains me to see so many people on the internet faking this disorder. People don’t understand how hard it can be and how serious it is.
@@rickwrites2612 integration is the lowering of dissociative barriers so that communication is possible, which, yes, is treatment. it's not medically necessary to pursue final fusion [i.e. becoming one, to whatever extent your brain can] but the goal of treatment is to allow for most/all parts to communicate and work through trauma + daily life together.
i've dealt with cotard's delusion in the past. fortunately for me, it wasn't to the severity of trying to have a funeral for myself or visiting a morgue, but i struggled with hallucinations of my body 'rotting' and was convinced that i didn't need to take care of myself because i was dead. this lead to not showering for a while, not brushing my teeth, not paying attention to what i eat or when i eat, and isolating myself until the episodes were over. i'm happy to say that having these beliefs is a very, very rare occurrence for me now, and is typically only due to dissociative episodes. medication does wonders.
I lived with episodes of derealization for years without having a word for it. It was such a relief when I figured it out a few years ago. I cried tears of joy. It’s so hard to explain if you’re not experiencing it. For me it’s like suddenly my view of the world is as if my body is a giant fleshy mech and I’m looking out through my eyes like I’m a tiny person in the head of a power ranger mech. It’s the closest description I’ve come to getting it across. I don’t get depersonalization, so it’s mostly just a visual perception thing. For me the only thing I can do do get the episode to move on is ignore it as best as I can. My episodes last a few weeks to a few months, but it’s the first week or so that takes some time to adjust.
i've had derealization for as long as i can remember, though the nature of it has changed since i've been put on meds. sometimes i don't think about it, other times it's crushing and it feels like the curtain could fall any second. at worst, it feels like everything makes so little sense that it almost _has_ to be fake. it's like having a 6th sense that just returns a binary answer to the question "is this real?", and the answer was always no. i'd have weird sensations about needing wider, larger eyes so that i could see everything in "full screen," rather than through a tiny window. it's a hard thing to articulate because my vision itself is the same as ever after starting ssris, things became very pronounced and deep, like suddenly experiencing depth perception. colors started really standing out to me, and i'd constantly move my head from side to side to watch how nearby objects move much more than further ones. felt like being a baby and seeing the world for the first time. it actually felt like way too much pretty frequently at first, but i'm getting used to it. it still doesn't feel real though, it just seems like i switched derealization flavors from "bland and far away" to "silly and weird." things are just kind of a lot now, and i'm wondering if this is maybe why my derealization was a thing in the first place lol. i worry that this is just what being alive feels like and it'll never feel real, but i just ignore the thought. my guess is the drugs make it all silly, and when i get off the antidepressants, i'll be able to defeat the derealization by squashing all the little bugs in my brain myself. everything is just a lot and nothing at all, silly and stupid and limp, and i think it could all stand to be less so.
It feels good seeing derealozation talked about. I feel insane when I start to experience everything as fake and it feels like there’s nothing I can do. My psychologist told me that it can occur coupled anxiety.
I have visual agnosia. I'm fine when dealing with it now, but when I was younger, I misidentified a pot on the stove for my dog, freaked out, put my hand on the stove, and burnt it lmao
i remember experiencing derealization a few times but the longest i experienced was thirty minutes. it was terrifying. i just watched myself sit outside as i felt paralyzed but it was like i was watching myself from the tree above me. i started seeing little black dots and red dots around the corner of my eyes but was still out of my body. but when i “went back” to my own body, i couldn’t even tell if my body was mine anymore. i kept looking at my hands and moving them just to make sure i still had control over myself.
Ya it can just kinda happen like that a close friend of mine once had an episode in which they could not speak or react. They were completely off for like half an hour. I tries snaping them back to reality with very little success
My brain is so weird. And yes I hate it. When I get hurt or shocked I yelp like a dog... when I get threatened I will growl and show my teeth... and when I get very sad and cry I sometimes whimper... this started as a child but it’s hard to stop as an adult. It’s weird. It’s all in my head and I fight myself to undue the things my mind does.. but it feels so natural that sometimes when I’m alone, I just allow myself to do that... I haven’t been alone for a very long time now and it can be hard.
having derealization disorder is like watching your life through a foggy tv screen and its so werid when you randomly become aware and everything feels real again its very overwhelming
ive been suffering with derealization my whole life but its been getting worse as ive grown up. its very difficult and i find myself isolating myself and refusing to go out because i feel more comfortable in a "fake" room than the "fake" world. i also have some other personal issues that cause me to just feel uncomfortable outside (trees talking to me, hallucinating people watching and following me).
Hi! DID system here :) small correction at 7:45, a host does not necessarily carry the body's legal name. Any alter can become a host, there can be multiple hosts, and hosts can change over time. On the other side of the spectrum some systems have no host at all
I've been living in a state of derealization for upwards of 2 years now, and neither I nor the mental health professionals I work with know how to tackle it. I feel like a pair of eyes that's just looking at the world but not really processing it. The things my body does just feel like I'm piloting it in the 3rd person. It's fucking terrifying. To be so disconnected from yourself that it feels like you're not even part of your own body, but that you're also trapped within it. For the most part I let my body autopilot the things I need to do (working, schoolwork, etc.) but when I'm left alone with myself, I have existential crises, wondering why I am the way I am and when it will stop. I don't even feel like myself anymore. I feel like a machine that's programmed to do certain tasks on a day to day basis. It's such a dehumanizing way to live, and I'm not sure how much more of it I can take. Thank you, Sisyphus, for giving a delicate but very true and educational description of derealization. I'm hoping I'll be able to claw my way out of my own soon. It's no way to live. It's hardly even living, it's just existing.
I swear you will get through it trust me you will so many people go through the same thing it’s just the mystery of the brain. I myself went through it and still deal with it time to time you just have to accept it don’t allow the anxiety to take you over and one day slowly you’ll realize it faded away. I promise you pray for strength and happiness and soon you’ll be at peace. A big trigger for the disorder is stress so even when you are going through a lot I promise you just have to see life in the beautiful way it is. I know I sound like it’s easy cuz it isn’t but trust me you will be okay. Love the people around you enjoy their time be grateful for life even if your mind is tricking you that you don’t, you truly do and you will be fine, love you ❤️
derealization is horrible ..have it for around 10-ish years now and i really wouldnt wish it on anyone else. It doesnt feel like you are "There" anymore and it feels more like your subconscious controls more of your life than your actual being. alot of tasks are done automatically and you often wont even remember what you did just 10 minutes ago since you are so far away from whats going on around you. But the most horrible part for me is being Unable to "feel" the world around you anymore.. there is no difference between being "inside your room" or being outside in a huge park... it just the only thing thats different for me is Smell and Temperature of these places.. the rest is just like a screen in front of you without any depth. Time also doesnt feel real anymore and since you cant remember much of the stuff you do, time will fly much faster for me... I am 23 right now and if you asked me to recall ANY moment from the past 10~ years I could actually not recall any events in my life. When telling my Phsychologist about those symptoms they just say: "That doesnt really sound like anything to me" which makes me absolutely hopeless since i feel like just a shell of what is supposed to be a Human being. I drifted off into Alcoholism since it is the only thing that Makes you feel "Something". Im Scared.
drinking makes it harder, i have an addiction to pills, so i can't say much. you're probably much older than me, since you're drinking alcohol- i've only been suffering for ~5 years, i'm only 14. it baffles me to sometimes look at myself and think "where did the time go", my childhood was ruined and this is the outcome. soon i'm getting tested for medication and i might have somatic OCD as well. i have underlying symptoms of DID, and i don't think a child should be thinking about suicide. but if you have similar thoughts, please don't worry. you're not alone. people are here with you. my psychiatrist makes me track my dissociation, and i've been missing out recently due to my visit to the mental hospital. i really hope i can get that back on track as soon as possible
I’ve been getting episodes of DPDR almost every day for five years now. It’s really, really tough. It happens whenever I achieve something, or try something new, or go somewhere new. Many times it happens as soon as I step outside. Many times it happens as soon as I wake up in the morning. I feel like I can’t make myself happy, and that there’s nowhere I can possibly go in life, and a lot of times I feel I have no hope. There’s no point. But I am still here, I am alive. And I am fighting. Even if it feels there is no hope, stay and fight with me.
I have conversion disorder. The confusion around when it first started and later when I was diagnosed was horrible, and trying to work through the trauma that causes it is dibilitating.
We have DID or dissociative identity disorder. I am glad you covered. I would like to add DID is not suggested by therapist either you have it or you don't In recent DID research they show in Brain scans how different parts of the brain are active when an alter fronts vs the host. There definitely should be more research on the area but when you deal with consciousness it can be difficult.
It's so wild to see something I have (derealization) on a list like this - I always forget that it's not something everyone experiences and that it's relatively uncommon, since it's just kinda my everyday
@@dismaleclipse5587 it’s been pretty bad, i don’t get too much of it anymore (but it’s not uncommon) but early 2023 was a hard hitter. i just felt so unreal and it was in a way that made me absolutely desperate to try and feel something again resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms, and at one point i had basically convinced myself that i was an alien who stole a young girls body and stripped her away from her family and friends and turned her into a whole different person??
I have Conversion Disorder, its honestly really frustrating because the doctors excuse it as "its all in your head" and though its true it still hurts me when they say that
I took ssris for a while and i ended up with derealization, it was very odd because every once in a while you become aware of your existence and it’s a freaky experience. I imagine it’s similar to being born again 😭
I'm not sure if this is exactly what you're talking about but during the many years I was derealised, I would occasionally have these abrupt flashes of reality being real and I'd literally feel nauseous. I think I was so used to feeling like I existed in a dream that when things actually became real, it left me reeling. It's horrible! Derealisation/depersonalisation is like this absurd embodiment of existentialism.
@@alexandria.c yes exactly, or the random “how did i get here?” when you’ve been in the passenger seat of a car for too long it’s all just scary as fuck because it’s like watching a movie then all of a sudden you’re transported into the movie
@@rickertonfickerton1268 big time, waking up from a dream when you didn't even realise you were asleep is absolutely terrifying- it makes everything in the world feel so amplified. it feels like ive just been half asleep doing my thing in a dark room and suddenly someone has come in and blasted the lights and thrown water in my face lol
oh no is it something ssris can cause?!!! i’ve been on citalopram for years and i experience something that’s… kind of like derealizatjon? it rarely happens because it’s only when i’m alone in a very quiet space or extremely bored. It’s basically like if i’m deprived of stimulus for long enough i detach from myself completely and start to convince myself that pain isn’t real. then i start trying to bite all the skin off my fingers or scrape all the skin off my legs, etc. it usually only manifests as biting the inside of my mouth or picking at the skin around my nails, but it’s led to stuff like one time i was stuck at a really shitty high school orchestra concert and i was so fucking disassociated from boredom that i convinced myself pain wasn’t real and i bit my fingers until they were super bloody. it’s not like a picking disorder or something cuz i don’t have an urge to do it when i’m in a normal emotional state, it only happens if i am left alone with my thoughts for extended periods of time lmao
I had/have conversion disorder, my thoughts can cause seizures. Memories of past trauma can cause seizures, stress and anxiety were also triggers. A year of therapy helped me, though.
wanted to add two to this list: stendhal syndrome and misophonia. misophonia isnt actually a recognized psychological disorder but its characterized by intolerance to certain sounds, or trigger sounds like popping, clicking, chewing, and other sounds. stendhal syndrome is another disorder characterized by hallucinations and disorientation when seeing something beautiful like an artwork. just two conditions i think should really be talked about more
Was going to make a comment about the years I spent living with depersonalization and, later, derealization but now I see that many beat me to it. I am amazed at how many people are reporting to have had it, I always felt completely alone. For me personally, it began after smoking marijuana frequently, and would often be amplified by the use of computers and looking at screens. The proliferation of both these things in modern society may provide some answers as to why it is so common, but I think such things just tend to amplify internal feelings that many have regarding not being in control of their lives. If you have DP/DR now, I was able to shake it off by never taking any drugs again, and traveling to places outside of the modern/western world (greater sense of freedom, but also the sense of danger will kick your senses back into shape), living largely independent of obligations. It cost money to live like that, but in the end it saved my mental health and it was absolutely worth it.
4:29 Jerusalem Syndrome seems like the kind of feeling you get after watching out of a really good movie and feeling like you're within that world when the credits roll 😂
I experienced derealisation for a number of years, it petty much disappeared after I started medication for anxiety symptoms. It was really surreal to just feel like the world around me is fading away like I’m being isolated from the world physically, usually when feeling overstimulated.
I had Alice in Wonderland syndrome as a kid and I remember it mostly happened when I was about to sleep, if the room was dark chances were that I would see furniture in my room get really small and far away. It felt so common to just see my room get far away each night that at 23 I can't believe it's not happening anymore.
Same I used to visualize myself shrinking to the size of a quarter and then floating into the corner of my room and just looking around. Lasted like 10 minutes or so. Happened maybe 5 times
i used to have the opposite, and it was terrifying… my perception would become smaller and smaller until i felt like i was tiny, my bedroom wall would stretch out for miles.. usually i would try to ground myself by moving around and i would manage to get to sleep
Your videos feel like an ARG to me. I feel like at any point it's just gonna swap to something else and spook the hell out of me. Keeps me on my toes. Quite well done!
I remember a little while back I read this book that was about the psychological affects of emotional and sexual abuse to a child and its abusers. At the end, the main character was revealed to have had dissociative identity disorder, and the way it was played out was so realistic. The book made it seem like there were 2 main characters, and later in the book when one character was mentioned to the other, they were confused like "What do you mean, I'm right here" and such. The book is called Identical by Ellen Hopkins. It did a great job showing what DID could look like and how emotional and sexual childhood trauma could psychologically affect someone.
As someone with Schizophrenia, this video was very informative, not to meantion enlightening. These other psychological issues share a lot of chracteristics my schizoactive symptons- a lot of the time I miss interpret someone talking to me or seeing something which looks VERY, so It's hard to distinguish reality from imagination. I know it's not real but it's like my subconscious is wired to be afraid of it.. I've had cases where a stranger is minding their business and I get the convuluted inpression that they don't like me, are threatening me, out to get me, etc; It's very jarring
stay strong. psychotic features are a part of life and they suck. as someone who experiences them from bipolar (hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, etc etc) it’s strangely comforting hearing others share your experiences. u got this :)
the animation at 5:40 is an almost perfect representation of how I feel when I'm spiraling. Also I know that you didn't intend to but it was quite triggering for me. For me at least, its kinda like a switch that just flicks itself on and off and usually I don't know what triggers it but you mentioning it did. I wish there was some kind of warning. Again, I understand that there was no way of you knowing and that you didn't mean to cause any harm but just please consider it next time.
Obviously another fantastic video, but aside from the subject matter, I love the development of this guys visual style. the font choices, EQd music and little drawings have become more cohesive as the channel has grown and I'm now always delighted with such a pleasant visual experience alongside the bottomless well of philosophical insights. One of my favourite channels
I have DID and some de-realization. It is so hard to find someone who understands this disorder well and you will most likely be put on medicines for schizophrenia or bipolar since there is a bias against DID. Hollywood also portrays the most extreme and violent cases which makes society have a caricature idea of what it's actually like.
I might have DID, but I'll only say I do when I get professionally diagnosed, but I have used credible sites to learn about symptoms I show and know of. I've had blackouts, only ones that I know of are 2, which were after a fight with my mom that triggered a bag physical response during the fight. during gym class my teacher told me that I just started screaming in the middle of gym class out of no where, both times. all I remember is just playing Pokemon HeartGold. I am impulsive, but that can be many things, like adhd I do have memory issues, a few of my memories are static faced with no voice, but I know what's being said just not the face. some of those memories are distorted when I am able to I'm going to get a proper professional to see if I do have DID, or it's another mental issue, hopefully I don't have DID
Those who understand it well usually have dissociative barriers and muliplicity themselves. Knowledge and theories about it are kind of only pushed by word of mouth, unfortunately. We, Our system have had the privilege to have discussions with systems of massive intellect, And even together we tended to show different ways of how our symptoms surfaced.
I’ve had symptoms of severe derealization and depersonalization, I talked about it with my psychiatrist but I’ve never been diagnosed which is quite of a problem because it affects my daily life. These symptoms often triggered anxiety, paranoia, intrusive thoughts and, in most cases, mild memory loss Living with this at the moment is shit but I’ve had it a lot worse when I was in elementary school
Sir, Madam, or whatever you identify as... If you constantly bring up the same phenomena time and time again, and your therapist/psychologist consistently dismisses it, it's time to find a new one.
My fiancé has DID. It’s been an interesting experience learning to navigate life with their disorder but open communication makes all the difference! I wouldn’t trade them for the world and I’m even on pretty good terms with a few of their alters! Though my fiancé is the only one I would ever love from the system in a romantic sense I still respect the others for who they are!
As someone who;s in a relationship with a few members of the same DID system, it's genuinely so nice to hear this! I wish you and your fiance the best of luck in your relationship! :)
I might have dereliazation. It completely fits the description, I was always wondering what it was. People around me get stressed in certain situations very easily whether nothing of it all matters to me. But then, there are some moments in life, just some moments, where I feel like I'm cured. It occurs during a nighttime walk or when I get told something rather nice: It feels like I live again.
I was waiting for it, but I'd be one of the few with Clinical Lycanthropy. I don't have such dramatic symptoms, but I do have schizophrenia and PTSD since i was a little kid. Basically i had a super traumatic 2021 with drastic things happening one after the other along with nearly dying a couple times. And in the stress of it all while having PTSD, whenever those moments show up i'll instinctively growl as a way of my mind making a blockade from going further into the memories that cause my PTSD. That and small growls when I yawn or when i get pissed off. I dont see myself as a wolf or a warewolf & I'm glad i have it in a minor state, cause in a way it protects me from the mental side that causes me more harm/stress.
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Hello, how can i communicate with you sir
great vid but the fact that i had to pause and search on youtube for more vids and info for every topic cuz u dont explain it at alllllllllllllll. :/
#1. Marxist.
You forgot to add Wokeness...
I’ve experienced Alive In Wonderland Syndrome (Todds Syndrome) all my life, mostly changes in perception of time and size of body parts. One i would get a lot is how i would always feel like my body was i’m fast forward mode like someone was time-lapsing my movements. And then times where my hands or head would feel 10x larger or smaller.
Derealization is so dangerous. I used to have it a lot and one time I started viewing my family as random strangers. Sometimes I will be hanging out with them and then my mind will suddenly decide that I don’t actually know these people. They notice it too when it happens. I also used to think of my body as not mine, and my belongings were someone else’s. I sort of become empty, lifeless, with no emotion, doing tasks like I’m on auto pilot.
Yes dude omfg
I would just be staring at them, completely detached from myself and my body, my vision is all weird, and I’m looking at them and starting to panic because everything’s so different. I know exactly what u mean by viewing them as random strangers. It’s like u see them, u know them, but everything’s just so wrong and feels so different, and ur kinda like wtf this is so wrong why does this feel unreal.
Having derealization before made me terrified of dementia or any form of psychosis because it’s actually so scary how you can loose yourself like that. It’s a very panicking feeling to feel that way, and I was able to control it, I got control of it, but imagine not being able to. So scary
Duuuuuuuude you perfectly explained what happens to me at least once a week. It even happens when I’m driving and I’ll get panicky
Yeah I get like this sometimes but I just shrug it off and act like that didn’t just happen lmao. I used to have panic attacks from it but I’m just tired of it and hope its not a progressive disease.
This is so accurate
Derealization is fucking trippy, wasn't comfortable when I had it a while back, but looking back it's actually quite interesting how something like that forms. The fact that I wanted to be so distant from my environment that my brain just decided it wanted to leave and make everything feel like it wasn't real.
It's wild what we are capable off, and how we are barely in control of ourselves.
How did you free yourself from it?
idk man, I just started to treat it like every other sensation I experience daily
It still went on, but I wasn't bothered by it as much
after that, Just getting my life together and socializing more really helped me ground back into reality
Back in the day I used to just let it hit me and I retreated from the outside world
but after actually trying to do something about it and not let it drag me down as much
it slowly faded away
and I've never felt better
Mine was a cannabis induced panic attack. I'd taken psychedelics before which were he'll sometimes and caused derealisation but it always went away. Then one night I smoked too much, started tripping, felt crazy, panicked. Boom. It happened. Took me 3 years of hell before I (mostly) recovered. I'm still on medication.
@@jackjohnson9548 jeez man, that happened to me when i greened out for the first time but it went away luckily. Psychedelics weren’t even as bad as weed for me though oddly
one of the weirdest things about it was thinking back on it. I have two specific instances whenever I think of my own experience that immediately come to mind. the first one being when I was about 7 and went to an amusement park. its like somebody took a movie clip of the moment and whenever i think about it, i picture myself in front of me but not at all vividly because my perseption was warped, i see my surroundings and then it zooms out to the entire area i was in. the other one is when I was just having a simple conversation in my house and suddenly its like i couldnt figure out how i was saying what i was saying because i didnt think of anything. all that was in my head was how out of my own body i felt and how it felt like i was on some reality tv show.
I have recently discovered I have “exploding head syndrome”. Caused by stress, I will be in a deep sleep and suddenly a loud noise (explosion, fireworks, window breaking) will happen inside my head but not in real life. Leaves me with anxiety for hours afterwards.
**Edit** almost 2 years later I didn’t realise this comment got so much attention but I was diagnosed with PTSD. Turns out lack of sleep, high anxiety and a traumatic experience will do this to you. Appreciate all the nice comments
oof im sorry that sucks
sometimes when i stay up late i will hear the floor creak even tho no one is up. freaks me out to :/
Happens to me sometimes load ringing that wakes me up ever time i try to go back to sleep it happens again along with a weird type of ear pain it hasn’t happened for a month now though
I’ve had that happen a couple of times, and it’s freaky! Once I was falling asleep and this loud growling screaming noise startled me awake. I then realized the sound wasn’t real. I was so worried to go back to sleep because I didn’t want to be jolted awake again.
Me too! I have had it for as long as I remember and always thought it was normal. Since it happens when falling asleep or waking up I made up a scientific explanation that I would just still be in a dreaming state while also awake. When it gets too loud I just open my eyes and it goes aqay so it was easy to deal with too. This year a few months ago I asked my Biology teacher about it(he knows everything💀). I was curious if my theory was right, I was so convinced it was normal that it was the first ever time I told someone about it. He said it wasnt normal at all. My classmates tried to joke around about me living with ghosts and stuff. When I learned it wasnt normal I started asking around and really NO ONE was experiencing it?! 😭 One morning, I heard the sound of ironing but very loud. I assumed my parents already got up for work and I should get up as well. I open my eyes and walk to the door, it was literally morning. The room was light. I open the door and suddenly its night again, no light, just the black quiet corridor. My parents still sleeping. I got my phone on my hand and thought thats enough Im getting to the bottom of this. Wrote everything I experienced and found EHS. I also learned sometimes you could see light as well so it fit. Im curious to learn what kind of noises you hear? Mine are usually shouts, loud talking, someone shouting my name and bell sounds.
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
I think it's because you feel like exploding emotionally, and it manifests in your mind, but I might be wrong, that's just my theory.
I sometimes got that too, but it wasn't chronic and the last time it happened was years ago.
Remember
Psychopath doesn’t mean murderer
Sociopath doesn’t mean criminal
OCD doesn’t mean perfectionist
Absolutely! I always try and remind people of this. Especially now that 'psychopaths and sociopaths are outdated terms (they fall on the spectrum of Antisocial Personality Disorder) and everyone thinks that is someone has psychopathy, they are going to go kill everyone and blah blah blah. Individuals with ASPD do have extreme symptoms and typically either lack empathy all together or have a very skewed image of empathy. It doesn't mean they are going to act out on violent tendencies towards themselves or others, but it obviously poses a higher risk. They are still people like everyone else, but their brain happens to be wired in a pretty shitty way and I wish we had more treatment plans for individuals on the ASDP spectrum.
Sounds like what a psychopath would say to attract distractions
OCD means wash your hands until they bleed :')
@@PersonaNonGrata666 eh not always, some people need things to be up to their standards
@@coffeebeancas i have ASPD, youre right but I dont want treatment, thanks for the offers though
I have suffered from Truman Disorder since I was a little kid (like before the movie came out). I assumed there were cameras on me at all times filming me, and everybody around me was just in on it. No paid actors, no set, I was the living the original reality tv, but created by scientists to study human behavior. They air some parts of my day with doctors explaining what and why I do certain things or at least their suspicions as to why I do them. My family always brushed it off as me being silly (different times, folks). It was always very present for me, and I just accepted this as my life, but would have bigger flare ups where I would be afraid to do anything because I knew I would get caught.
When I was older and finally in therapy, it took a while to bring this up, because obviously, I didn't want the camera people to know that I know they exist. Even though I knew this wasn't real, I still went through a lot of "but what if it is really?" moments. And treatment took forever, because I lied during most of it. Because if it was real, of course the therapist would want me to think it wasn't real. My thought process was always me trying to play it cautious, because I don't know what kind of consequences I would have if I admitted that I knew about the cameras.
Even though I'm better than before (yeah, I can finally do things like have sex without freaking out about accidentally making a porn tape), I'm still not convinced. Just writing this is making me anxious, because once I hit the button and post this, it's out there. Every day can be a struggle because I know it's not happening, but it's also 100% happening. Nobody can prove me wrong, because they would make sure that I have limited access to information so that I wouldn't ruin this decades long study. So if this is real, sorry about the most recent episodes and how boring it's been. You've seen what I'm going through and I'm exhausted.
@@dakotalusk1163 I’ve had Truman Show disorder, it’s not that simple. If it was easy enough to explain away, you wouldn’t be in that mode of thought in the first place. You can’t just “think your way out of it”.
It’s logic that got you into it in the first place. Even if it’s faulty logic, it’s still a ‘kind’ of logic.
My treatment included years of therapy that happened to include a lot of trial and error of different kinds of medications.
I always though that too thinking that maybe my reality its made up by some aliens that kidnapped me since young to study how much stress a human being can bear
I had a weird phase that was similar, I was pretending to be like a youtuber/tv show guy. Like i'd talk like im on a video. an example was in a car "hey guys, welcome back. we are going on a road trip" and id babble on with stuff like that
@@thingythesigma what they're talking about definitely isn't the same as pretending
@@dakotalusk1163 it has nothing to do with vanity or an inflated sense of self or whatever youre talking about. it has to do with paranoia and detachment.
you think this person is happy and comfortable to feel/believe that theyre constantly being watched ?
i wouldnt think so.
Man I thought everyone constantly questioned their own existence. I constantly have these anxiety attacks where I think I'm fake and everything else is fake and I don't actually exist. I thought it was normal this whole time.
me too! when i was younger i tried to explain it to my friends and they told me i was a crazy person. i guess i am.
FR. I used to be so distressed a couple years ago because I felt like everyone around me wasnt real. I kept asking myself “what if” questions like “what if this is all a dream and none of this is real?” It was very stressing and I think it contributed to some of my seperation anxiety. I never talked about it because I thought this was normal, as ive seen plenty of people saying they’ve felt this way. I still feel this way sometimes but it was much more common a few years ago.
YES when I was little I could never enjoy things like celebrations, events, holidays, etc because in the back of my mind the thought "This is all a dream and none of this is real...." always lurked, but now I'm much better and I haven't felt like that in quite a few years.
Wait, not everyone questions their own existence? Wtf?
literally had a mental breakdown like... three hours ago over whether anything was real or not. was pretty scary, i called my friends and they thought i was high lmao. i mean like most people i question my existence when im high but this time i was sober and literally on the edge of having a panic attack
I was not expecting to see depersonalization/ derealization here, it’s something I deal with daily. Thank you for explaining it so well and in a way that didn’t make me feel crazy.
Same, but I dont actually have it anymore. The syndrome was so random and came out of nowhere.
I started experiencing it one time after a bad trip, it's just chronic for me now :(
i deal with it daily as well- i actually didn't expect other people to go through this before i was enlightened on the disorder... i've been dealign with it for 5 years now. it's nice to see others who suffer from it as well, it gives me a sense of connection
I have dissociative symptoms due to childhood trauma. Mostly depersonalization. It took me ages to realize that the reason I didn’t like taking pictures of myself or have any sort of opinion on my appearance was actually because I subconsciously didn’t recognize my reflection as actually being myself. Since then I’ve experimented with my appearance and found something that makes it better, but at its worst my depersonalization was so bad that my reflection felt like a doppelgänger rather than a reflection. It was like it was some malicious thing pretending to be human instead of just light reflecting off of glass… not a fun time.
I had dealt with that shit as well a while back when I was 14 after a bad high I’m 23 now and since then have forgotten about it all through my teen years , things will get better. Understanding is everything ,you just gotta focus on other shit and set goals for yourself ,don’t even acknowledge the shit . That worked for me at least
I have Alice in Wonderland syndrome, the episodes aren’t very distressing as they are confusing, it’s mostly altering to my perception of sounds and time, feeling like everything is very loud and repetitive, or time quickly speeds up or slows down, and it becomes impossible to count seconds. It’s very odd, but neat
oh my god i have this too, this is the first time ive ever heard of AiWS outside of my own googling and the wiki page. It's strange for sure, like imagine your hands on your cars steering wheels, except now your arms seem 60 feet long, your car is now the size of a football field and you could 100% believe it. Or you're watching a movie at night in your living room, and you feel like your body truly feels like its the size of an ant and the screen your watching is now the biggest movie screen you've ever seen. All the while (and something I've never read about online), my thoughts in this state turn 'loud'. Like imagine whispered screaming, except not screaming because it's not scary, just like as loud as an inaudible sound in your head can get. Thanks for sharing its nice hearing what other symptoms people have
@@neiro314 yes! i think the size changes are less for me, because I’m definitely affected by them, sometimes getting woozy in my room feeling like I’m triple my height and my bed is far off in the corner, but god the sound is a big part. thoughts being as loud as they can is a very good description of it, it’s never yelling really, and never really bothering, but it’s all very loud, then stops so suddenly
does that cause problems when you're driving or otherwise doing something that requires you to know the distances and sizes of things?
@@maebeenot1023 holy shit dude I love hearing that you get the same thing haha. I’ve been the only one I know of and it’s been happening to me since I was tiny
@@teehee4096 yeah it would if I ever had it in a bad moment but I can’t think of any actually important moment or life or death situation that it would hinder me or stop me from reacting how I normally would honestly
Time stamps:
15.)Diogenes Syndrome 2:55
14.)Conversion Disorder 3:40
13.)Jerusalem Syndrome 4:16
12.)Visual Agnosia 4:49
11.)Depersonalization/Derealization 5:22
10.)Truman disorder 5:51
9.)Apotemnophilia 6:27
8.)Walking Corpse Syndrome 6:48
7.)Alice And Wonderland Syndrome 7:11
6.)Dissociative Identity Disorder 7:33
5.)Boanthropy 8:10
4.)Clinical Lycanthropy 8:34
3.)Capgras delusion 8:52
2.)Phantom Pregnancies 9:18
1.)Koro syndrome 9:38
It’s been a year and there’s no comment so I’ll say it first: thank you, it helps a lot
@@vehement. Your welcome 😊
thank you so much :)
@@zeniapoirot Your also welcome :)
Nice
Alice in Wonderland Syndrome is surprisingly common. In my case it was first induced by a fever I had as a child. I used to often lose my perception of size, and it actually felt incredible when I experienced the illusion that my own body was undoubtedly as large as a continent or a planet.
oh yeah, I once practically got heatstroke in kindergarten and as I was struggling to stand in line, waiting for everyone to pick up their toys so we'd be let in, I swayed a bit and from my perspective my head went all the way to the ground one way, hovering about a centimeter away, and then quickly went up and down again as I swayed the other way.
I was probably about to pass out, but luckily it wasn't too long before they let us in the air conditioned classroom and with the rush of cool air I was immediately much better.
wait, i kind of remember something similar happening to me when i was a child. not caused by fever, but sometimes when i was falling asleep or just resting my eyes, i would start to feel that my body was extremely thin (basically a stick figure) and/or extremely huge, and it would rapidly switch back and forth and sometimes feel like both at once. it's so hard to explain... it wasn't really a physical feeling of shrinking/growing. y'know how sometimes you just aware of your body and the space it takes up? it was like that perception was changing rapidly... it felt like my normal body, but suddenly it would seem so small yet normal, then the next moment so massive.
also sometimes my vision would become super detailed (uncomfortably detailed), and then super smooth for some reason. kind of like if you took a photo and turned down the exposure, cranked up the contrast & definition, and made it kinda grainy. even a blank wall looked complex and overwhelming, and then it would suddenly look very simple and "smooth", like everything was perfect and polished.
I still get that when I'm sick... 😄 well now I know
Wow, so cool to hear other people's experiences with Alice syndrome. Most of my nights in my childhood I would feel infinitely small, and the next second infinitely tall. It was kind of fun or enthralling, but also so beyond my control that it would keep me up for hours. Thanks for sharing.
@@thisislegalright Me too. I've never been able to describe it so well. I would feel my body shrink to thin as a sheet, even each of my fingers, like the cells themselves changed shape, and then become immeasurably big and fat in the very next moment. I also would go back and forth between the two sizes, and sometimes both at once. I used to get this all the time as a kid, and now as an adult, maybe once or so a year. I've never experienced the super detailed/smooth vision. Thanks for sharing.
I knew someone with lycanthropy disorder. He also believed he worked in the Navy despite being 15. Dude also kept a gun in his book bag just in case of a shooting at school. he actually pulled it on me during a conversation over the name of the song Chop Suey by System of a Down. He was arrested. He was also the councilors son which is ironic.
dude pulled a gun over a conversation about music?
@@nickmagrick7702 Yeah it was wild. Looking back on it with what he said earlier that day it was clear not all the screws where tight in his head. I still can’t believe it myself some times. It was so surreal.
Who was right about the song's name?
@@aricori21 I was, he thought the song name was “angels deserve to die” because that was the lyric that repeats itself the most.
@@dandrive3249 Oh he definitely has some issues.
I actually have Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. I’ve had it since I was little but it’s not as common in my adulthood luckily. It’s quite the experience and trying to talk about it with others as a teenager made me feel like I was going crazy 😂
I have it aswell, I remember experiencing it first time as a child and im still experiencing it occasionally. I haven’t talked about it much with other people
Whats it like? Can u plz explain it and ur experiences in detail?
@@FukcAUsername I mean, the short and long of it is that my perception is whack. Things look further than they are or bigger or smaller or closer, it can be distressing at times and confusing, I just describe it as perception problems
@@Mmmsandwich ok thanks for explaining. I always wondered what it felt like
my brother had alice in wonderland syndrome, it was severe for him when he was little, and occasionally when he's sick but it hasnt happened for years.
Depersonalization and derealization are so much more common that you’d think. It’s usually a response to trauma as the brains last ditch effort to separate itself from the threat of danger. My gf has had several episodes of this and it’s very surreal every time it happens. The brain is such a fragile but complex thing.
I suffer from derealisation and it is taking a bit of a toll on me at the moment, after doing psychedelics and having a panic attack (i did a spice called nutmeg which lasts for 48hrs) feeling better then having a panic attack from weed then cold turkey off my medication for a week with barely any sleep and bam now i feel not real and often scared. Any advice?
@@Jessamessaa well. It depends, everyone is obviously different and I would say my number one advice is seek a professional. They will be able to test and find the right “tools” for you. My gf had to be put on a light dose of bupropion, she still has panic attacks but they don’t necessarily interfere with her life much anymore. It’s been a little over a year now since her first episode and I would say the last 6 months have been pretty good for her. Other things that professionals will tell you, sleep and diet are extremely important. Your brain needs the necessary nutrients in order to be at a baseline and if you aren’t getting that your neurotransmitters and hormones will go out of wack. Vitamin D3 and D12 and I believe magnesium play a big role in regulating dopamine and serotonin. There are kind of two types of panic attacks, if you have the type that reoccurs and feels worse when you try to calm yourself down, instead try doing something to shock yourself into reality. Dunk your head in ice cold water, try to force yourself to panic, blow really hard into a straw until you feel lightheaded and immediately lay backwards with your legs in the air (you may need another person to help with that one). You can do those things if you are having reoccurring ones and need a trick to stop the episode from coming on. Prayer or meditation is also super valuable and under appreciated. I hope all of that helps but again, if you really want to dial it down you should see a psychologist.
@@Jessamessaa also I’m not sure how old you are but stay away from any psychedelic, weed included. That will more than likely eventually make it worse.
@@nathanfowler2835 17, 18 in 3 days and yea i am sober now
@@Jessamessaa yeah those substances aren’t for everyone and especially if you aren’t 25+ it has a much higher chance of leading to those types of mental disorders. You should treat your mind like any other organ and try to do things to keep it healthy, they can be finicky. If it is taking a toll on you and affecting your life you should speak treatment just like if you had a broken bone or something. What happened to you is very common, there are a lot of psychologists and psychiatrists out there that can help. Also remember that it’s completely fine and normal to get help. In this day in age it’s almost rare to be mentally healthy.
Derealisation is something I live with. My health team and I have never been able to identify what in my life caused it, which makes me feel like I always have to justify it or question it. So already, I never feel quite attached to my reality, and then I question that feeling even more because we don't know what causes it. Just stuck in a gaslighting cycle within myself!
I feel you ... you have described my exact experience. I hope we find peace
@@KezickTV I hope we do too ❤️ my advice to you is to find some hobbies and people that remind you of a connection to 'reality', and when times get hard to not judge yourself too harshly if you withdraw because it not necessarily something that we can control or really need to. Just be aware of it and communicate with anyone it might affect. Journalling has really helped me but I'm a writer by Nature so it's not for everyone.
Your deeper self knows what caused it. Something happened.
You know it because you even say you are gaslighting yourself.
Try transcendental meditation, i got derealised from smoking weed and having a panic attack. I suffered with it for 2 months, I thought that was it for the rest of my life. Then I cured it.
nothing in your life caused it, derealization is just a symptom of having no control over anything that happens in your life, the reason they're saying somethings wrong with is so you dont wake up and realize that we live in a shallow world full of people who will lie to you and pump you full of drugs so they can buy a new car this year.
Alcohol and cigarettes addiction actually destroyed my life. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my wife which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.
Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes. And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.
Can you help me with the reliable source. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Netherland. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them
YES very sure of Dr.Burkeshroom. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
Derealization feels like everything is in liminal space. It’s so odd to observe, especially when you’re seeing it in places you’ve been at for years, and it somehow looks and feels different, even though nothing has changed. It can feel so unsettling.
right!? its so strange how people and things i’ve lived with can seem so unfamiliar. it always freaks me out
Exactly! One moment you’re in a familiar place with familiar people, the next moment you feel like you’re alone in a strange place.
Wait I didn’t know that last part was derealization 😅
I randomly get this at work with no trigger and I have to snap myself back into reality wich is incredibly hard at a fast food place. Basically no time to do any technique to pull me back so then I end up disassociating all day bearly making it through.
Thank you!! I always describe it as feeling like your constantly in a liminal space like everything is normal but it feels just slightly off and wrong. Idk why but it made me so happy someone else describes it like that.
Derealization is like thinking you're in the matrix. You don't know anything outside reality but you know that it isn't actually real. At times when you feel extremely stressed it feels like someone is trying to unplug you from the matrix, everything gets foggy and kind of numb. It's like experiencing all the characteristics of life without experiencing life itself.
yeah, it's like an everpresent feeling of dreamlike reality, but at the same time logic dictate that it isn't actually real
I have the same feeling. Got diagnosed with derealization and depersonalization because it went too far and I actually began to believe that my life was a simulation like The Sims and I thought that if I died I would respawn. The meds helped a lot with the crises and for me today it's kinda about living besides those feelings most of the time, but it's some type of thought that once you experience you can't forget.
I've had episodes like this and I try not to think about them or I might put myself into another one
I lost my uncle to alzheimer's in 2020 which was made worse by the fact that i couldn't attend the funeral due to lockdowns,our cousin had wait an entire year cause international flights were banned from nz. Then last year i lost both my grandparents within a span of 2 months,i kinda detached myself from trauma. i still don't know if it was derealization or, just my depression coming back given I have had depression for like 5 years .
@@dragonlordsaviour7005 sounds like derealization, it's a natural response your brain does to cope with unbearable stress. I find it comes with depression as well because depression is usually caused by childhood trauma and derealization is just your brain trying to escape reality
alice in wonderland syndrome is such an odd disorder. i was on call with a friend when they experienced AWS,and they described it as "feeling like they're the size of a thimble" and "time simply didn't exist". from a psychology and psych student perspective it's rather fascinating.
It sucks ass i had it bad as a kid when i had fevers and everything in the house would look super close yet look miles away
Sometimes I lie in the dark, and in my head I know my hand is like on my stomach or whatever, but it feels like it’s miles away. The most common ones that happen to me is my teeth feel really big and round and my hands feels big and heavy. One time when I was really stressed I woke up and my torso felt like it was like a dr Seuss character, like it was a tube and it was all twisted and the room looked really long. It’s an odd experience
I have this when I look at someone in the eyes when they talk to me. Suddenly their head grows HUGE and it looks like it's right in my face. I could never explain it. At times it would be right in front of me and then back to normal rapidly back and forth. What a weird thing.
I avoid eye contact for this reason
I remember one of my first derealisation episodes. It happened back in highschool, I was sitting at a bus stop, numb and dissociated. The anxiety of being in a school that I hated, surrounded by people that I hated really took a toll on me, and I'd often zone out to deal with the constant stress. I was looking at the road in front of me, not really thinking about anything, and suddenly it began to rise and fall slowly. It looked as if it were breathing. It didn't disturb me, I didn't feel anything, I just stared blankly as the tarmac pulsed in front of me. I've dealt with derealisation for years, going through life as if in a waking dream. It's not fun, and I have memory problems now because of how long I've dealt with a combination of derealisation, depression, and a fuck of a lot else
high school is LITERALLY the worst. coming from the isolation of quarantine and then getting thrown back into the social setting took a toll on me too. i think i have derealization, but at the same time i wonder if i’ve always been this way, because i can’t remember the way i was before. i don’t know if this helps but i hope you find the middle ground in the darkness
I have something similar happen. If i stare at 1 place too long, my vision looms almost vhs-y and has a weird old 70s or 80s aesthetic. Its pretty cool visuals and i can do it whenever bit i doubt its the same as what you experience. I still feel grounded in reality and fine, not dissociated or anything.
Similar here, the memory issues upset me a lot it’s to the point where I can’t really remember two whole years of my life
Wait uh, like staring at something for a bit and then it starts moving isn't normal- like for example I would stare at the swim pool ceiling after getting overwhelmed with everything going on. And the ceiling just started moving like a conveyor belt. I uh thought that that was normal- is it not-?
Ohhh I have had similar experiences! :0 I never tought anything unusual about them. I have seen floor tiles pulsing or waving when I'm simultaneously stressed and bored. I have felt like my tongue swells so much it fills my entire mouth, the feeling goes away after some time, it may happen when I'm scared and feel like I want to flee but can't. I may lose my ability to understand speech when I'm very stressed and tired.
I remember a guy with Capgras Delusion who was at a psych ward at the same time I was. His story was so, so sad... I remember once he was talking about it and usually he would say "I thought my parents were replaced by aliens" but that time he said "my parents were replaced by aliens". He didn't turn violent towards them, though. He had a dream in which he was told he had to perform seppuku at the main square of his city for his parents to be returned. Fortunately, his friends realized something was very wrong so they caught him before he managed to do that.
I hope he is better now.
Poor guy!!! That is so sad. I hope he is okay. I know of one person who posted their father's text messages to them on Reddit. I didn't know this disorder had a name at the time. None of the commenters seemed to, either. The dad's language was profane and nasty, and constantly alluded to a period of time when his son had been replaced. The strange thing was, he behaved normally enough around other friends and family, but if the father and son were alone the father would verbally and physically abuse the child, enraged at the "government plant" in his house. The child turned 18 and fled the home. We were advising OP to get a restraining order because the father kept alluding to catching his son and harming him. OP described their father as a "narcissist" but no one seemed aware of what Capgras disorder was. He replied to the texts calling his father a coward and telling him he hated him for singling him out and hurting him all the time. This wasn't even a long time ago, it was either last year or 2022. Definitely post Jan 6. I hope that kid is okay.
It makes me think of the will wood song
@@Sanchlingernon that's why it's named that! Cotard's Solution is another song based off a psychological disorder
@@clev3rett yup!
What is "sepukku"?
Been struggling with clinical lycanthropy for years, it's embarrassing and frightening constantly questioning not who you are, but what you are and what type of monster you may become at any given time in the night. It's been going on for a long while but I'll be able to get long term therapy sometime soon though. God bless whoever reads this 🙏
what is it like living with clinical lycanthropy?
@@beena953 You basically have animal-ish like characteristics, and you look at yourself and you notice some parts of you look like they're becoming the animal that "you are". I look at my hands and I see that I'm growing claws at times. My teeth feel like their canines are growing longer and getting sharper than they should. Sometimes you get joint pain, I get back pain. You begin to make animal noises out of instinct. Craving meat most of the time.
To anyone who experiences derealization, this is what I’ve learned that’s helped me:
Learn to recognize when you start to feel it (if it’s episodic). This helps so much because once you’re all the way there you feel like you’re in a different world. Recognizing it allows you to say to yourself “this is what’s happening, this is real.” And then ground yourself. Activate your senses to make you feel grounded in reality. I listen to music really loud. It help me to focus on the words and the sounds and to activate my brain. Or else I’ll just hear people talk and immediately forget bc it seems like a dream. Touch things! Feel the texture, know that this is where you are and this is what it feels like. You’re not floating outside your body. All this really helps me to stay in my body and in reality until I can come out of it. It’s so hard to focus on the world and details when it feels like you’re dreaming. But it’s not a dream, find the details. Let your brain know you’re there
Omg thank you for these tips 🥹
Everytime it happens I just go to sleep and it goes away for a little
Since it tends to get worse or happens more when you obsess over it due to anxiety when it starts to happen or whenever, I listen to that song Weightless by maricon union I think his name is. Song is said to be specifically engineered to help with anxiety related issued so I listen to it and it helps me calm down during an episode too.
@@jadrobe3492 I listen to a lot of fog lake when it happens, it keeps me grounded
@@zay9341 oooh I'll check that one out
Stendhal or “Florence Syndrome” would’ve been interesting to add here; where people, almost exclusively foreigners, would suffer from tachycardia, profuse sweating, hallucinations, or even loss of consciousness, when in places like Florence, Rome, or Paris; thought to be due to the overwhelming stimuli made more intense by subjectively-summated objects or art of beauty. I remember as a kid growing up in Italy, sometimes the news would talk about tourists fainting at St. Peter’s or in the Uffizi.
@Nunya Business do you think seeing a photo of the eiffel tower would feel the same as standing beneath it?
@Nunya Business do you think an 8k virtual reality video with a high end VR headset is the same as being physically there?
I happen to have conversion disorder and I really appreciate you bringing more attention to it. I didn’t know about it until I was diagnosed with it and many many people don’t understand before I explain it.
Honestly feel bad for anyone who has to go through any of these or any other psychological disorder, what makes psychological disorders almost scary to me is the fact that we really know so little about ourselves in that matter, great video as always though
psych disorders are only almost scary ? :D
Most of my close friends have some sort of disorder from this list. And while some are in a bad place rn most are not.
@@nevokrien95 Thats statistically unlikely, I wouldn't take what your friends say at face value. Especially these days where pretending to be mentally ill is something people do for fun.
@@indiomoustafa2047 its not a random selection its my close friends. One of them was with me in a mental hospital the other was diagnosed with autism as a child and the third has five suicide attempts.
I fail to see how any of these 3 can be not mentaly ill
@@nevokrien95 I mean I'm not gonna argue with you, you know them better than I do. Lol All I'm saying is theres a shocking amount of people self diagnosing for attention.
I've got DID. It was nice to see a respectful overview of it, considering how violently it is portrayed and treated in media. There's a lot of stigma and fear-mongering, and not a lot of good research on it. It's a pretty invisible disorder most of the time, even to the person who actually has it. It's meant to be a quiet way for the brain to cope with trauma, but it can be pretty distressing to the person who has it, whether or not they know what's going on.
@T han are you ok ?
My gf has DID, i love all of them, sadly the host that Fell in love with me and i Fell in love with first doesnt exist anymore since they had enough of the world and basically got absorbed by the new host
@@H.G.Halberd Sorry to hear that--it does happen sometimes. Communication is definitely key when you're in a relationship with a system, but it can be tricky, Especially when someone you were in a relationship with integrates or decides they don't want to front as much.
@@BugHazard luckily the others are all very loveable and loving towards me (when the emotions arent too much to handle for them) and everyone is adorable in their own way but sometimes its a bit complicated when we want to do something more "adult" in bed and one of the little younger ones decides its cuddle time, luckily the caretakers look out that this doesnt happen too often or other things like that
@@H.G.Halberd Hah yeah it happens... No one can keep a little away from cuddle time come hell or high water :) I'm glad it sounds like you're working through things together though! It can be hard to find people who are so understanding about it.
super cool you talked about these :) i’ve been diagnosed with derealization/depersonalization and it was comforting to hear it talked about on a video with a million views. it’s really hard and a lot of people will respond, “oh, i get you! i dissociate all the time, like when im driving home”. no. it’s not that at all. there really no break from it or lull in the symptoms. im constantly doing mindfulness exercises. it’s scary, isolating, and it causes me the most frustrating memory issues ever. anyway be nice to people because their brains probably aren’t being nice to them.
Why cant you simply do something and focus on that
@@Chr.Saint-Michaelyou might think its that easy but we cant control our brain. no matter how hard you try you literally cant. its like watching your life through a tv screen. you literally cant see the world properly, because at least for me, its hard to feel present or in my own body and i cant see the world as it is. dont think we dont try
@@taylormichalski501 hmm interesting thx for explaining you seem like a normal dude you can type normal, maybe its just some weird shit that doesnt even matter that much if it doesnt hurt you
@@Chr.Saint-Michael basically yes. doesn’t necessarily effect anything but my perspective of the world. just mostly blurred and everything is out of focus kinda it’s insanely frustrating because i really feel trapped
@@taylormichalski501 well if you think about it everyone is trapped but you are also free to do what you want to do and that can be freeing. I for example enyoy weight lifting and climbing maybe something that you enyoy doing can also take your thoughts away for a bit
when the pandemic just started, my whole family never left the house for a whole year. This is because both my mom and my grandmother suffer from autoimmune diseases and with all the paranoia of the first months of the pandemic, they found no more rational solution than to completely lock us up in an extremely hermetic way.
details aside, this generated a huge psychological impact on me the first few months and with the passage of time I began to develop a quite apparent derealization.
it was wild.
I will never forget the day where I looked in a mirror and I couldn't recognize myself, I was very scared because I didn't know who was behind the glass.
my days felt weird, i felt like floating, i was too disconnected from my own body. I stopped feeling things like stress, that feeling of urgency, fear, happiness, enjoying the things I like all because nothing I lived felt real my days felt like when you make up a fictional story of yourself before bed... nothing had real weight.
I spent a lot of time hiding from mirrors, and living in a kind of alternate reality.
my family's extreme measures started to loosen up a bit and when I started to go out again, to talk again with other people who were not the same ones who are in my house, and gradually return to the routine I did before everything exploded, I slowly began to recover.
As of today I'm pretty mentally healthy (from the derealization, I still have a few different things to deal with haha) but i still get a little scared when i see a mirror for the first time in the morning, it was a very surreal experience. I hope I never feel it again.
It wasn't THAT bad really, but for a long time in my later years I didn't feel like a real human being, I felt like I had been imagining myself for several months.
I'm sorry you had to go through this. It's terrifying what isolation can cause. So I'm glad you're doing better now :)
It's kinda weird how we look at these moments and feel like "okay I guess it wasn't that bad after all I got better and stuff" but it really was that bad for you and it's kinda scary how we could get into that place.
I didn’t know there was a feeling of urgency. I don’t consider myself to have this problem because I don’t view it in the same way but I’ve had those symptoms my whole life. I just still recognize that me is me.
The 2020 quarantine also did horrible damage to my mental health, I ended up having a psychotic episode and voluntarily admitted myself into a mental hospital. I'm fine now though but it was really scary at the time
I'm almost like 99% sure that I don't have derealization or the other one, but for some reason since I was born whenever I look in the mirror I know that that isn't me, I know it has to be. But it isn't, what I am looking at is a stranger. I'm guessing for me it has something to do with my gender dysphoria, but I don't know
DPDR happens to me after panic attacks and I can describe what it feels like. It’s like an exact copy of yourself sitting behind your eyes using them like windows to watch your own actions. Like a first person game that lets you look around to see your legs and arms and body. The feeling of moving your muscles or speaking barely registers it’s like you are just commanding your shell (your body) to move. You’re essentially being two people at once, one that thinks and observes and the other that interacts with the world. This feeling is temporary but for me can last for almost a month. When I first felt it, I would panic and think I was stuck like this forever which would begin a loop. I’ve found that trying to live completely normally and act as if nothing is happening helps me to recover faster. By now I’ve experienced it so many times I know it will end and I can be comfortable until then. Stay healthy everyone.
I have episodes of this and you explained it perfectly. Thankfully mine never last for more than a day. But my psychiatrist says they could be set off by similar things to epilepsy. I feel it happen a lot when I go from a dim room with few people to a bright room with many people. (Like movie theaters)
this is literally the most accurate way ive ever seen derealisation described holy heck?? thank you for putting this into words oml
This is a perfect description of how I feel. I also try and ignore it and it goes away. But it usually comes back.
This seems to resemble how I perceive myself in lucid dreams. I would sometimes realize I’m dreaming because of the weird feeling, but not be able to wake up, so I would cruise around until I did. Places and time would shift a lot: I may be walking in school then suddenly plop in front of the dinner table. Thankfully the dreams were rarely unpleasant.
hey this is probably a year late (sorry) but I just read your comment and it really really helped me to hear exactly how I've been feeling the past year or so. I've never really known how to describe it but you have explained this so well and I don't feel like I'm crazy anymore so thank you! I hope you're doing well :)
i have a kind of conversion disorder known as psychogenic non-epileptic seizures, and one thing i learned recently from my neurologist is that its entirely possible to have non-epileptic AND epileptic seizures- sometimes these can occur in the same episode too. conversion disorders like what I have are also commonly treated using cognitive behavioral therapy or dialectical behavioral therapy to help learn skills to better manage triggers/pull yourself out of disregulated states
When I was going through a period of bad mental health I was in a medical setting with other patients. There was this one girl who seemed perfectly fine, rather friendly, and empathetic about how all the other patients were feeling. However, she was insistent that her su*cide attempt had been successful and she was now dead. She refused to wash (idk why but I guess because dead people don't shower?) and would claim that the smell was "proof" she was decomposing. Never heard of Walking Corpse Syndrome before this, and obviously not going to diagnose someone I only briefly met like eight years ago, but makes me wonder.
I have Truman syndrome. It was worse before, but from time to time the suspicion resurfaces with great strength and puts me into a very detached state of mind. Say I'm talking to someone and my Truman suspicion gets triggered for some reason, it makes me interpret every word from there on out as if I'm being conveyed a secret message. This is of course a state of mind very incompatible with conversation.
It has gotten better. Through exposure therapy I experience these episodes less frequently and with less intensity. But I notice that underneath I am going about my life with the constant suspicion that there is something everyone else knows, but me. And that is a very uncomfortable suspicion to have.
My suspicion is not a TV-show suspicion, like Truman himself had (and revealed). Mine is a spiritual one. I have seen the DMT realm, and yes, that is definitely what made me question all this. Me knowing this does not make the suspicion any less rational, though. I do not think I'm being watched by other humans. But I do believe I might be watched by otherworldly spiritual entities, and that maybe even I am not really human, but chose to forget I am not for the sake of entertainment, and that my otherworldly friends are watching my experience.
It is fucked up anyhow. Regardless if it's true or not. If it isn't then I'm crazy. If it is then the world is crazy.
Edit: Oh. And I forgot to mention that I at age 14 went through the norwegian utøya massacre. Pretty traumatic. So if this is simply a mental disorder, and not a suspicion that turns out to be true, then it is not just due to having played with psychedelics like DMT, but also because of that experience at age 14.
I want to smoke dmt but my family’s mental health history is terrible so kinda on the edge with it, also I think that’s your ego tryna get it’s position back, anyways sorry to hear about your situation sounds undesirable much love anyway brother
@@titahibay2362 I initially reacted negatively to the ego part of your response. But I can't rule it out. It would make a lot of sense. Regardless, I'm never getting anywhere near spiritual practice again. Even without psychs, spirituality can twist your mind in all sorts of ways, including bad ones.
It wouldn't be very surprising to entertain that a traumatic experience could have such an effect on you. There are many instances of people that have near death encounters who have had experiences before, during or after the instance believing that god or some force spared them in that moment. That it wasn't their time to go. That of course doesn't exactly describe your situation. It's just speculative.
I've had psychedelic experiences myself as well. And it really has even made kind people seem horrifying to me during bad trips. I think it's something to be done with much consideration and caution. Even with the supposed mental health benefits it could have it doesn't feel very responsible at all sometimes. Especially when you look at the Manson family types.
Your theory also reminds me of that one South Park episodes where earth is just some reality TV show for aliens. Who knows really, though as you said spirituality can be a double edged sword. It can make you feel euphoric, but it can also put you through some really bad times that might not be very fun for yourself or others.
I do think it's fascinating however that shamanistic cultures do find themselves all over the world. I've definitely gone from a former christian atheist to an agnostic at this point. There's just no way of how we discern reality. We all seeme to just be biological machines made by billions of cells interpreting the world through our limited perception. Even if we think we have mastered it through scientific methods. The quantum questions still show us there's much more than meets the eye. In the end we're all just human beings living on this rock in space. Make of it what you will.
You were specifically diagnosed with Truman syndrome and not schizophrenia or OCD? Generally Truman syndrome is understood to be a secondary condition caused by other illnesses.
@@titahibay2362 I am Schizotypal but have smoked DMT as well as taken lsd, shrooms, salvia etc etc. Can recommend all of them if in the right set and setting! :)
I think Fregoli disorder or foreign accent syndrome would be interesting to put in. Fregoli disorder is where you believe everyone you know is one person in disguises, and foreign accent syndrome is a condition, most often after a stroke, where you seem to speak in an accent from another country even if you’ve never been to that country and aren’t of that nationality or ethnicity. For example you could have a stroke and end up with a French accent even if you’ve never been to France or are French at all.
Something I feel is important to add here: Foreign accent syndrome is entirely explained by someone's speech patterns changing in some way after a brain injury. They're not speaking in a _particular_ different accent at all; it's the brains of the people _around_ them that automatically (and erroneously) map it onto an accent they already know because it's similar-ish.
When speaking different languages, I like to refer to each accent as having a different "mouth feel" to it. There are certain patterns in the way you move your mouth and tongue. They're subtle but fairly consistent. You tend to move certain parts of your mouth more than in others, or less. Inhibited control over the facial muscles resulting from a brain injury would very easily impact those habits enough to no longer sound like you speak with the same accent.
That is a Jreg title
Literally first thought this feels like the voices in my head speaking
Fax 😂
I don’t even watch jreg lol
Jr. Egg*
Top 15 Best Psychological Disorders
i used to experience derealization a lot when i was a kid because i was being bullied at school. Everything I saw seemed grayer and paler, and everything I touched felt like it wasn’t actually me who was touching it. When derealizing, I felt like I would see things from a perspective about a foot above where my eyes are. My thoughts were always a second too long apart from each other. I had to remind myself to breathe, even though I felt like I was not in control of my body. Idk if this is even a possible symptom but everything smelled different too. Like, the scents different things had felt muted or far away or wouldn’t instantly smell, like if I directly sniffed a flower or candle I knew to be strongly scented it wouldn’t really hit me right away. I would try to converse with my sister during these times and told her what I was feeling. She looked up what it was for me and was concerned, but it never occurred to me until now that she didn’t judge me for it. Just wanted me to feel grounded again.
I have OSSD 1b, which is a disorder like DID but without amnesiac barriers between alters (basically we are able to know what others do while fronting) and I’m very thankful that you did not say that the host was the “original” personality. It’s a very common and irritating misconception that one alter is the “real” one and the rest are from the disorder but the fact of the matter is that the reason we have the disorder in the first place is BECAUSE the mind never solidified into one identity so there can BE no original.
(Also have this disorder) I've seen it described as dropping a plate and it shattering, not one piece is the "original" since they all were broken at the same point
Yeah did you know that the voices in your head are trying to get you to eat drywall? They sure are hungry!!!!!
@@BzotsOutOfIllinois3500 Are you seriously so stupid that you think this kind of paranoia bait would do anything to someone with OSDD? OSDD is not even close to psychosis.
So do different alters have completely different interpretations of events (interactions with loved ones, for example.. not like The Super Bowl)…even they you agree on the facts?
@@DrDeuteron Yes actually. Different thought processes can lead to things being interpreted very differently. One of our protector alters, Aubrey, absolutely HATED a few of our friends that I was completely enamored with. (He turned out to be right but that's besides the point 💀)
My grandmother had Alzheimer's, and the first major symptom that let everyone know something was wrong was Capgras. Looking back, she'd had minor signs for at least five or more years, but this was the first noticeable one. When it started, she seemed fairly mentally "normal," except she was convinced her husband (of 50+ years, who was suffering from another form of dementia himself) had been "replaced." She wouldn't talk about it in front of him, and at first, she was afraid to tell my dad and aunt (her children) what she believed. She would say somewhat cryptic things that could jokingly be taken metaphorically, like, "that's not the man I married" and "who are you and what did you do with my husband?" She would even say them jokingly, but then look at my dad with a wink, as if she was giving clues. When she finally shared her thoughts with my dad and aunt, it was clear it was very upsetting to her. They only tried to convince her he was her husband to comfort her, but it didn't work. My dad moved in to care for them, and during that time, both got sicker, with her Capgras becoming more obvious. My grandpa passed away first, and my grandma did not understand that it was her husband who had died. At the funeral, she externally "played along" that it had been her husband, but later, she would refer to him as "the other man." Just curious one night when she was talking about the other man, my dad asked her, "where do you think your husband is?" She said, "I don't know! That's what I've been trying to figure out! It's a big mystery!" A few minutes later, she exclaimed, "I know how we could solve it! DNA!" I'm very thankful to the hospice team who figured out what it was and explained it to us.
I used to get Alice and wonderland syndrome occasionally. It never happened perpetually, but usually it would happen when I woke up and I was completely thrown off. Like my mind turned off depth perception completely. Reaching out for a door handle it appeared literally 20 feet away even though it was within arms reach. Hallways sometimes only a few feet long but as I walked they got longer and longer. I had to slide down the stairs because there was no getting around that.
My mother and I suffered from Alice in Wonderland Syndrome when we were children. It came in episodes and for me they were usually preceded by a weird headspace where I would imagine a series of finger-like tangled objects, each more confusing and more difficult to untangle than the last. When I would inevitably imagine an object that I couldn't see how to untangle, the episode would start.
Something I don't always see mentioned is the distortion of sound it can cause. For me the episodes would cause all sounds to have a certain character to them. Every sound would ring out with a particular kind of timbre, and for some reason this timbre felt inherently anxiety-inducing. I hated it so much!
I thankfully don't experience AWS anymore but sometimes if I try really hard I can "induce" the feeling for a split second
@@gagebrandon6674 It is great to be able to talk to others with this experience. It's such a distinct and disturbing feeling that you don't just forget! Nice not to feel crazy :P
I had something like this, but as an after-effect of a 2cb trip. I was mostly back to sober and had no visuals or anything, but my depth perception looked like a relief (that sculpting method found in ancient Greece, and sometimes in Chinese restaurants). Unlike regular visuals you get with those trips, this felt more like a solid change in perception.
how do you know the difference between derealization vs alice in wonderland syndrome?
I had that was a kid too. I saw all kinds of things and some sights would register in my brain as sounds. It was so confusing sometimes I would cry or not want to leave my bed because the room looked like it had no open space for me to walk. Life was weird. Idk how to describe it. My parents were freaked out but it eventually got rid of itself
I don’t usually tell people this but I have DID, I was professionally diagnosed by a psychiatrist about 2 years ago. I am still confused about my own disorder. Currently I know of five other personalities/ altars. It feels nice not being portrayed as some kind of monster like in the movie split.
I think you are a normal dude dont think about it and live normally
@@Chr.Saint-Michaelbruh stfu you know nothing
@zenityracer75you tryna start shit with 5 guys bruh
@zenityracer75 always a car obsessed person
I love hearing more conversations around conversion disorder; it is just as real as a neurological disorder, just not as life threatening such as geniuine epilepsy.
It is all in our heads, but that doesnt mean it isnt real.
Thank you so much for that, I 100% agree.
i randomly clicked on this video and did not expect to see conversion disorder on here. i was diagnosed around a month ago and was really confused when i was told i had it (because i had no idea what it was). it’s just not something you hear about, mostly cause it isn’t that common, but seeing it here i was like “omg someone else knows what this thing is”. it’s definitely a weird one to describe to others, and i always love concerning friends when i’m like “haha i have seizures kinda often so pls be prepared, i’ll let you know when i feel one happening but from there it’s up to you to not call for emergency services i am not spending 10 hours in a hospital bed for no reason.” basically what i’m saying here is that i’m glad to see a video that actually talks about it and shares what the disorder is to other people.
It's now called FND. Also it doesn't have to be the result of trauma. It's the most common 'rare' condition and I'm glad we're finally getting some recognition.
Same
I really think that if I talk to a doctor about it I would just make up a mental illness because I can't be 100% sure of what I am feeling it's almost like thinking it's normal but you don't know what you should tell them like if I am just pretending and I usually forget about panic attacks so even if I go to a doctor I would get a fake diagnosis and later would get worse than ever
@@hawhaw6815this doesn’t sound like conversion disorder by how you wrote that comment. But I can’t be sure it was hard to read as one bit sentence. If you have panic attacks that is a different disorder that is very treatable with therapy and medication. Conversion disorder is also treatable. Don’t be afraid to tell your doctor and/or psychiatrist about how you are feeling. If you are unsure how you feel, focus inwardly and journal about what you feel inside. Write it down in words everyday. Just the journaling itself could help immensely.
6:27 This is not the term for this disorder that most sufferers of it use, or that recent scientific papers use.
It is called BID, meaning Body Integrity Dysphoria (It is also frequently called BIID, meaning Body Identity Integrity Disorder. The term BID is kinda recent so you'll probably see BIID more often really.)
I have this disorder, it is not sexual in any way (although I do not deny it may be for some), and it is more complex than simply a "desire to mutilate parts of the body". It feels as if my left forearm (the part of my body affected by BIID) is not mine or in someway does not belong to me, like some sort of parasite, so I believe I _need_ to be rid of it. I cannot speak for those who desire to be blind or paralyzed or anything of the sort, but I imagine it is fairly similar in concept.
I am very aware that this is not a healthy desire, is not normal, and that my arm is perfectly physically healthy, and it's removal would cause great disadvantage to me in many areas, I am aware that I am fairly lucky to be in a completely able body. I am not delusional. BIID is a neurological condition, and stories about how much of a struggle it is to be disabled is not going to cure it (I see these very frequently on videos discussing BIID, calling the existence of people who have it "disrespectful")
I personally wouldn't liken it to being transgender, although it I won't deny that it is similar in concept. The thing is that gender is a social construct that we've merely associated with genitalia and such, meaning that, for example, a trans man identifies as a man, and therefore is a man. This is very much not possible to do with most disability.
Very much sorry about the wall of text. If I have more to say I'll do it in the replies. If anyone stumbling upon this actually reads it and has any questions, feel free to ask them.
TL:DR apotemnophilia is not called that, and is also a bit more than just wanting to mutilate yourself.
Is it related to alien hand syndrome?
@@thesuccessfulone No, not really. at least to my knowledge (although, my knowledge of alien hand syndrome is very little, and there isn't much proper medical information on BIID either.). I suppose it could cause something similar to BIID? but I really don't know. BIID is likely something that you're born with, and alien hand is the result of some forms of brain damage IIRC.
I suppose I can see the connection though, as BIID often manifests as feeling as if a body part doesn't belong to you, and alien hand syndrome is a body part basically not belonging to you lmao.
Are there any specific treatments/types of therapy that have helped?
@@jennathomas4274 I personally haven't tried anything, so I can't really say.
Although, from what I've seen online, therapy doesn't really help in almost all cases, and achieving the desired disability can basically cure it.
I like to draw on my arm when I'm having a particularly bad day, a lot of the time I'll draw a dotted line specifically where I want my arm cut off. It doesn't really lessen the BIID but it makes me smile.
The difference between the two is that one is desired to be inflicted on other people other than themselves, well that’s what I believe please correct me if I’m wrong
(This is an extremely long one, I apologize)
As someone with OSDD (basically a "mild" form of DID), I want to applaud you for your explanation and also clear up a few things. (If you don't want to read all of this, skip to the second section, that's where the important stuff is).
First, that disclaimer is really important and I'm glad it was started that way, especially with the video title being "15 weirdest disorders".
Second, dissociation is something I've struggled with since around 5 years old. Whenever I looked at myself too long or thought about my name too much, I started to question if I was even real. Which are disturbing thoughts for a 5-12 year old to be having. More recently it's come in the form of feeling like I'm just a spectator in my own life, or a "camera" that's just filming anything, not a living being.
Also thank you for normalizing dissociation, because it is a completely normal thing to experience once in awhile, especially after periods of stress. People with more "mild" disorders can also experience greater amounts of dissociation, like people with ADHD, autism (I believe), and those with other trauma disorders.
I do want to clear up/add some information about DID, though. The basic description was good for a surface-level overview of the disorder. Something that rubbed me the wrong way however was the "causes". It is indeed caused by childhood trauma, specifically severe, repeated, inescapable trauma. However, "clinicians inadvertent suggestibility has caused DID" is not correct. This implies that DID is not a real disorder and is caused by clinicians telling their patients they have this, which is not the case. I'm sure there are some who are misdiagnosed with this disorder, in most cases doctors will diagnose a patient with everything under the sun before diagnosing one with DID. If a patient has "symptoms" but doesn't actually have the disorder, they likely have another disorder called Munchausen syndrome (a mental disorder where a patient fakes illness to gain attention and sympathy). DID is a very real disorder that already has a lot of stigma and people believing it's fake, so it's unfair to display it this way.
*Resources: www.docdroid.net/arPAtHT/van-der-hart-2006-the-haunted-self-pdf (Onno van der Hart, Ellert R. S. Nijenhuis, and Kathy Steele's "The Haunted Self); did-research.org/ (DID Research); www.isst-d.org/ (The International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation, a professional organization which specializes in trauma and dissociative disorders)*
For anyone interested, I will explain the science behind DID/OSDD. For more information, see the resources above. For simplicity's sake, I will just be saying DID, but the same can (typically) be applied to OSDD as well.
The current leading theory an dissociative disorders is called "Structural Dissociation", outlined in van der Hart's "The Haunted Self" (first listed resource). It explains that the mind does not start out as a whole consciousness, rather a group of "ego states" control the mind. These states are very simplistic, controlling different needs and desires in an infant/toddler's life like hunger, thirst, love, things they enjoy, etc. As one matures, these ego states fuse together to create the whole self. However, repetitive denial of these desires can cause the ego states to not fuse properly, resulting in a split consciousness. The traumas have to occur before the age of fusing, which experts believe is somewhere between 3 and 5 years old, though some research goes as high as 9-11 years.
Dissociation of this severity is the brain's *final* defense mechanism against severe trauma, when fight or flight fails repeatedly (which babies and toddlers normally don't have anyways).
Most children will appear to develop somewhat normally. Though some may show signs of PTSD or mild dissociation, symptoms of the disorder normally don't arise until late teens and beyond. However, some may live their entire lives without knowing they have this disorder. This is because DID is meant to be a hidden disorder, to protect the body and conscious mind from it's own trauma. The purpose is to keep memories out of the conscious, "working" mind, so the person can live their life as normally as possible. People with DID often experience denial and the feeling that their alters are fake, even if their symptoms and behaviors are affirmed by medical professionals and loved ones.
Symptoms don't normally start appearing until the body/brain has been in a safe(r) environment for a long period of time, or when diagnosed by a clinician (which might be where "clinicians inadvertent suggestibility has caused DID" came from). Once the brain has registered that it's in a safe and stable environment, it is typically able to begin healing.
The healing process for DID is often very messy, as things seem like they're getting worse for a long time before they start to get better. Patients with DID often have to spend decades in therapy to heal, including years spent in therapy before diagnosis.
DID is considered very rare and is also highly stigmatized, as seen in the movie "Split" or recent media. However, DID is not as rare as many think. The estimated prevalence for DID is as high as 1% of the population, which doesn't seem like a lot, but this means there is likely at least one person you know who suffers from DID, whether they know it or not.
There is *way* more I can talk about, however this is already very, very long. If you read this far, thank you for bearing with me 🥲 Make sure you do research before talking about things, especially highly stigmatized disorders (not saying this video didn't, but that one part- 😬). If you have questions I'll be happy to answer them 😁
sorry if this is a rude question, how was the diagnosis process? (if you were diagnosed), what were some of the processes?
Thank you so much for this, I was wondering if anyone else had picked up on that
@@Amikqvz it's not rude. I'm currently working on a diagnosis, but the process is typically very long. Most OSDD/DID patients are in therapy for 7+ years before a diagnosis is made, and it's difficult to navigate because so little is known or taught within psychology or neuroscience, plus the stigma which I mentioned before. Some people in the field have gotten threats that make them turn away from the field or not pursue it to begin with, while others implement toxic to abusive treatments from the 80's and 90's due to limited education, and end up doing more harm than good.
The best thing is to find a therapist/psychiatrist that's understanding and wants what's best for their patients, whether they have expertise or not, and to trust your own instincts (if you're looking for help for yourself/someone you know.)
Sorry that I don't have a lot of personal experience yet, but I hope this helps in some way :)
@@nope8741 You're welcome, I hope my obsession with the brain/psychology (plus personal experience) has helped some people who may be misinformed 😅
i appreciate you taking the time to write all this, it's really nice to see correct, sourced information on DID, thanks :)
it's sadly rare that anyone talks about dissociative disorders kindly and without judgment, thank you for that :)
I’ve never seen anyone talk about dissociative disorders WITH judgement
@@MM-pv5tp you'd be surprised. have a friend who was told he had 'demons in his brain' once
It's good that things can become this way. I was really excited when it was mentioned!
@@MM-pv5tp it is an unfortunately very common occurrence
the amount of nasty shit i've heard or even been told right to my face about dissociative disorders While having one is insane
@@phantomspade81well that’s not really talking about in any cogent sense.
I have ADD and sometimes reading something is a lot like how you described visual agnosia. You'll look at the words and string together the sentences but you can't interpret them, or at least keep them in your head long enough to remember what they communicated after a couple seconds.
lol its very diffrent still but yea same cant kep 1 digit numbers in my head for more than 2 secs lol
@JERKSIMULATOR I read a lot and I do well in english because I work hard. But I'm still working way harder than anyone else because of my diagnosis. I can't fucking believe you're calling someone dumb because they have a literal mental disorder bruh.
@plantopiamedics what you're doing is awful. stop.
@plantopiamedics you're giving people false hope. either that or trying to sell them drugs, or just scamming them. I'm not quite sure which it is or which is worse but you should stop either way.
@plantopiamedics Don’t advertise in comment sections. It only shows that you’re desperate and if you’re desperate it’s likely because your product sucks.
Mushroom was good to
Me
Absolutely! It's incredible to see how psilocybin mushrooms and psychedelics have the potential to make a positive impact on mental health. They've shown promising results in treating depression and anxiety. It's exciting to think about the possibilities they hold for helping people.
Where can I source em?
@@ThomasOlivia-dy5wiSurely dr.johnsonshroom is the perfect
person for you
Can he be on instgram?
@@jack-vw4mu Yeah. He is dr.johnsonshroom
I like how both Sisyphus and Jreg uploaded mental health related videos in the span of an hour. This can't be a coincidence.
Your schizotypal is showing
i also like the polar opposite styles in videos
yep
theyre competing, jreg tries to ruin everyones mental health and sisyphus tries to help. eternal stalemate
I love Jreg
Having someone talk about depersonalization/derealization made me feel a surprising comfort. It’s been a battle for over 10 years. Thanks for talking about it!
Conversion disorder is also know as Functional Neurological Disorder. I developed it a few years back. My speech was massively impacted and i had to use a cane to get around.
Life revolves around avoid stress, because thats the only way to reduce the symptoms.
I experience derealization and depersonalization on and off, my main theory about why I personally experience it in episodes is my body and my brain don't communicate very well (evidence: I have broken my toe without noticing, I literally forget to eat for entire days if I don't have cravings or remind myself with alarms, my circadian rhythm seems almost nonexistent) so when I really really need something (think food, water, sleep, the basic basics) and my body is sending all these signals and my brain just leaves the chat. I feel like I have been placed about half a foot to the left of my own body, or that my legs never end, or that my head is completely weightless, or just this general feeling of *off* where everything is just wrong enough to freak me the hell out but trying to communicate what is actually wrong is impossible, or any combination of all that bullshit. Usually it goes away if I resolve whatever I've been neglecting, and even if it doesn't, hell even if Im completely off base and it was never the root cause in the first place, having some quick food and water and then taking a nap is never a bad response to "aw no my brain broke again"
holy shit that sounds terrible and frankly terrifying. i hope it gets better if it can.
Same the funniest and scariest one I had was when I felt like my brain was just floating by its self. It was like i was spinning and flying in like a tornado pattern but I was just sitting there. And during the day it feels like your in a dream and everything is foggy. Like objects seem so fake
maybe using reminder apps will help you take care of yourself better
Derealization is so terrifying and draining it feel so real and nothing can snap you out of it no reassurance can help only until your mind decides to snap back but it doesn’t feel real it’s kinda like you went into one world to the other and back and forth
I could remember several years ago I suffered from severe depression and mental disorder. I was addicted to illicit pills, alcohol, and smoking until I was recommended for psilocybin mushroom treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly I'm 8 years clean now. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against anxiety and depression.
To be honest, mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on the planet and it is natural, they serve in many ways not only for mental related issues.
Can you help me with a reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. It is very hard to get a reliable source here in New Zealand. Really need!
Yes, Sporeville. I had the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction... Mushrooms definitely made a huge difference to why I'm clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He's 59 & has many mental health issues plus probably CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD knows if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on Instagram?
This channel helped me pass psychology. Much love, man.
You ate psychology?
@@Fnidner mm yummy
As many here, I not only suffer from derealisation that happens in episodes, I have constant derealisation. I‘d describe it as being detached from your mind and reality. This is different for everyone though! - Some people only experience the detachment from reality, while others might just experience detachment from their mind. Your thoughts might feel slow, as if there is cotton in your head. While you might not feel visual or auditory effects, you know something is different. If it is your first time experiencing it, you might feel as if you are going crazy, some people feel as if they are in hell. Being detached from yourself is one of the worst things we can feel, it damages us while it is actually supposed to be protecting us against trauma since derealisation is a stress response. No matter how disgusting you feel, it is not harmful, you are not going crazy and it will most likely fade over time! - sometimes quicker, sometimes slower.
My life has been challenged by it quite a lot. Wether I had to leave class because I‘d start having problems hearing properly, sounds would be louder or quieter, my perception of time was messed up and objects and distances were bigger and smaller than they actually were (This also seems to be Alice in Wonderland Syndrome). Often I‘d feel as if I am not real, as if nothing is. I knew this was not right (therefore not a delusion) but it felt as if it was. I started panicking and it made my life hell while I was already suffering from other disorders. My memory got worse and so did my concentration, speaking wasn’t difficult but i‘d often forget words or mumble around. The only thing that helped was stopping the constant research on how to stop it and trying to ignore it. While I still feel it, ignoring it every time i notice it makes everything easier. Derealisation is the only time when forgetting is the better option! Just know that if you ever feel this way feeling scared is alright, but there is no need to worry. Life goes on, just make sure to talk to someone you trust about it.
@Pylo If you have ever watched the movie IT, it is just like that, when you face your fear of it, it will be killed. As ironic as this sounds, it is caused by a loophole of anxiety your mind has made about it. As soon as you learn to embrace, accept and be fearless of DR, it will go away, i promise. I have dealt with it for 5 months on-and-off after a 12 hour long bad trip from weed (it was my first time doing anything, plus chemically it is just not made for me) and I have fully felt like it would never get better, but as i write this i am confident that it does. Accept it, try not not to google symptoms (makes anxiety worse), remember that it will never ever cause any other issues, no matter how bad your experience is (this is what i struggled to accept the most), and remember that DR is simply a natural reaction to intense and long periods of anxiety. I promise, you will get better, and it is 100% possible to feel exactly like you again. Best wishes and remember to stay strong, dealing with something like this is a true indicator of how strong you are
@Pylo I get what you mean. As hard as it is I have found “forgetting it” to be the best way to help it go away. I think doing “grounding” anxiety coping strategies helps, e.g. sometimes if I walk outside or am talking to someone and it suddenly gets really bad and I feel completely disconnected, I stop for a minute and breathe and just look at things around me and tell myself they are there and that everything is fine (“the sky is blue and I’m gonna be okay, that bench is green and I’m gonna be okay, my shoes are black and I’m gonna be okay” is a good grounding exercise as you associate things that you know to be real/true with knowing you will be okay). I know there are times when it feels unbearable and times when you feel crazy but you will get through it. Do what you love and even though there will be ups and downs you will be okay and you may get to a point where derealisation/depersonalisation is a rare occurrence. I hope that helps but if not there are way more ways you can try to calm your anxiety to help deal with your derealisation. Have a good day/night :)
I honestly fear so much that I'm developing schizophrenia. I've dealt with hallucinations ever since I can remember, which were usually just visual hallucinations at like the age of 3-4 and onwards. but as I'm getting older its slowly getting worse I'm seeing things constantly, hearing things and feeling things that are not there. I get some comfort when I'm not alone but when I am in the house alone I end having panic attacks and having to phone someone to come get me as I fear my life is in danger. People keep telling me not to self diagnose my self and that's not what I'm doing at all but all of my symptoms point towards schizophrenia and possibly derealisation as the hallucinations make me question my self and surroundings. its honestly becoming a huge problem as I'm in my last year of school and I've been failing since my second year. I actually tried to talk to my mum about this but its frustrating as she doesn't really believe in mental illness unless its extreme and visible, which is just even more frustrating as her herself struggles with multiple mental illnesses but she's afraid ill be placed into a mental hospital over schizophrenia. Also although it is constant I sometimes get episodes which I cannot fully remember where it is extremely bad and I only really know about them because of people who were around to witness them but for the most time I am alone when I get these episodes. I literally don't know what to do in getting help as I don't know who to turn to :|
Schizophrenia isn't diagnosed until q8yrs of age or older. Symptoms may show briefly in an early psychotic episode. Mostly it's late 20s for male, 30s for females. By ignoring hallucinations you recall from age 3? You are actually causing your own brain damage. The idea is to get helpnearly, medications nock the misfiring pathways in the early stages, preventing the development of permanent pathways in the brain. Don't self diagnose see a Dr and have uour history you've identified written out. Stopping the aberrant pathways earlier than later regardless of Mommy, will be to your advantage. You could have a brain growth, but no you've diagnosed yourself by internet. Signed a ER RN and Clinical Psychologist.
@@joywebster2678 I literally said I wasn't self diagnosing, I'm not saying I have it at all I just have symptoms of it, it could literally be nothing lol
@@kenziboyle9072 that person was being a mega douche and i feel bad for anyone that goes to them for medical care. I wish you the best on finding answers . It’s ok to do so on your own terms.
I suffer with DID. I have 24 distinct parts, and have been managing it somewhat successfully for 3 years now. The symptoms have been present for as long as I can remember, and DID also inherently comes with Depersonalization and Derealization. And I can confirm it comes from childhood trauma. I was put through some of the most horrifying things as a child... and I had my symptoms appear before even ever seeing a therapist. Even as early as 5 years old my family members have told me stories about my strange unpredictable behavior, using "funny voices" consistently, changes in demeanor, and memory problems. These kinds of disorders can really make one question what is real and what isn't. Oh, and for those curious, I am on good terms with the other parts. We're a team. It's called integration!
how did you find out?? i have underlying symptoms and i black out lots, experience derealization, have absence in memory and well,, i often "do things" that i hva no memory of doing
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I don't have DID, but I've met several people that have multiple parts to themselves. The first thing I want to tell you is how incredibly strong and awesome you are for not only finding a way to manage your DID, but even be on good terms with the others and accept them. Even being just ONE person seems so incredibly daunting, and at 19 I'm still trying to figure out who I am and what I want and what the future has in store for me. Doing that 24 times over!? That is incredible to me.
I remember the first time I learned about it -- it was when a friend confided in me about it. We talked for a while and they told me about their other personality (only one at the time, but more appeared in later years, not sure how many). And at the end, I understood what was happening logically but couldn't understand it psychologically. The idea of having another person in my head still confuses me sometimes. Then, a while later, I started talking with another friend who also had DID (that I met through the first one), and I felt the same way.
Then one day the three of us were hanging out, he went to use the bathroom or something and when he came back, he seemed not just different but out of it. Spacing out, maybe like 20% himself. He didn't have the capability to tell me for that moment, but I think what was happening was he was switching personalities and couldn't really talk or process anything. I saw him... fade within himself, if that makes sense. Then he switched completely, but I remember it wasn't at all like how they make it look in the movies. I thought watching that process happen would have seemed more "crazy" like people make it sound. But it was more scary than anything, because his other personality was really scared and confused. The other personality was I think a much younger boy. He didn't know who we were, and he was talking in a higher and more timid voice. Of course, he was using the voice box he was born with, so he still sounded a little like my friend, but it didn't seem like he was putting in effort to make that voice.
In that moment, that WAS his voice, and I wasn't sure how to comfort him or what to do. My friend, having experienced DID, was able to reassure him until the primary personality came back. But I remember just sitting there almost completely in silence because I didn't know how to help or if I even could, and I felt awful. I still feel awful for being too confused to try. For letting something unfamiliar cloud my inherent desire to help someone that was close to me. And I feel awful because I have a strong feeling that if something like that happened again, I would feel similarly stuck. He did come back, but he was just off the rest of the day, and I really wish I had said something more or consoled him more, because I think I could have made him feel better.
I know it's a lot to read... it just brought back quite a few memories for me and I felt like I had to share.
@@jax2322 i think finding a good trauma informed therapist, did specialists are almost inexistant but did is a reaction to trauma and if you talk to a specialist then that might help but i havent been diagnosed yet so this advice might not be that useful
im glad youre all fully integrated!
@@peanutsans6780 no
i used to experience something similar with truman syndrome, i would believe i was constantly being watched and that everyone around me knew something, nice to know it has a name haha
As a young child I was convinced that when I went to bed, my parents would take of their disguise and become pirates.
@@KarlSnarks When I was little for some reason I thought my family turned into skeletons at night
6:13 this was me as a kid. I never even watched The Truman show as a kid. I just always had paranoia about it
I have dissociative identity disorder, and it pains me to see so many people on the internet faking this disorder. People don’t understand how hard it can be and how serious it is.
Yes, they also seem to forget the treatment is integration.
@@rickwrites2612 integration is the lowering of dissociative barriers so that communication is possible, which, yes, is treatment. it's not medically necessary to pursue final fusion [i.e. becoming one, to whatever extent your brain can] but the goal of treatment is to allow for most/all parts to communicate and work through trauma + daily life together.
i've dealt with cotard's delusion in the past. fortunately for me, it wasn't to the severity of trying to have a funeral for myself or visiting a morgue, but i struggled with hallucinations of my body 'rotting' and was convinced that i didn't need to take care of myself because i was dead. this lead to not showering for a while, not brushing my teeth, not paying attention to what i eat or when i eat, and isolating myself until the episodes were over. i'm happy to say that having these beliefs is a very, very rare occurrence for me now, and is typically only due to dissociative episodes. medication does wonders.
I lived with episodes of derealization for years without having a word for it. It was such a relief when I figured it out a few years ago. I cried tears of joy.
It’s so hard to explain if you’re not experiencing it. For me it’s like suddenly my view of the world is as if my body is a giant fleshy mech and I’m looking out through my eyes like I’m a tiny person in the head of a power ranger mech. It’s the closest description I’ve come to getting it across.
I don’t get depersonalization, so it’s mostly just a visual perception thing.
For me the only thing I can do do get the episode to move on is ignore it as best as I can. My episodes last a few weeks to a few months, but it’s the first week or so that takes some time to adjust.
you get individual episodes? mine has never stopped? what the hell
i've had derealization for as long as i can remember, though the nature of it has changed since i've been put on meds. sometimes i don't think about it, other times it's crushing and it feels like the curtain could fall any second. at worst, it feels like everything makes so little sense that it almost _has_ to be fake. it's like having a 6th sense that just returns a binary answer to the question "is this real?", and the answer was always no. i'd have weird sensations about needing wider, larger eyes so that i could see everything in "full screen," rather than through a tiny window. it's a hard thing to articulate because my vision itself is the same as ever
after starting ssris, things became very pronounced and deep, like suddenly experiencing depth perception. colors started really standing out to me, and i'd constantly move my head from side to side to watch how nearby objects move much more than further ones. felt like being a baby and seeing the world for the first time. it actually felt like way too much pretty frequently at first, but i'm getting used to it. it still doesn't feel real though, it just seems like i switched derealization flavors from "bland and far away" to "silly and weird." things are just kind of a lot now, and i'm wondering if this is maybe why my derealization was a thing in the first place lol.
i worry that this is just what being alive feels like and it'll never feel real, but i just ignore the thought. my guess is the drugs make it all silly, and when i get off the antidepressants, i'll be able to defeat the derealization by squashing all the little bugs in my brain myself. everything is just a lot and nothing at all, silly and stupid and limp, and i think it could all stand to be less so.
It feels good seeing derealozation talked about. I feel insane when I start to experience everything as fake and it feels like there’s nothing I can do. My psychologist told me that it can occur coupled anxiety.
I have visual agnosia. I'm fine when dealing with it now, but when I was younger, I misidentified a pot on the stove for my dog, freaked out, put my hand on the stove, and burnt it lmao
i remember experiencing derealization a few times but the longest i experienced was thirty minutes. it was terrifying. i just watched myself sit outside as i felt paralyzed but it was like i was watching myself from the tree above me. i started seeing little black dots and red dots around the corner of my eyes but was still out of my body. but when i “went back” to my own body, i couldn’t even tell if my body was mine anymore. i kept looking at my hands and moving them just to make sure i still had control over myself.
What did you take? lol
I’ve experienced this too, but only ever on hallucinogens or disassociants like ketamine.
I had it for 10 years. It sucked.
@@MmmMulholland im sorry :(. i still suffer from it but i would never wish that length of time upon anyone. im glad u recovered
Ya it can just kinda happen like that a close friend of mine once had an episode in which they could not speak or react. They were completely off for like half an hour. I tries snaping them back to reality with very little success
@@numerum_bestia nothing lol it was random. i wasn’t on drugs
My brain is so weird. And yes I hate it.
When I get hurt or shocked I yelp like a dog... when I get threatened I will growl and show my teeth... and when I get very sad and cry I sometimes whimper... this started as a child but it’s hard to stop as an adult. It’s weird. It’s all in my head and I fight myself to undue the things my mind does.. but it feels so natural that sometimes when I’m alone, I just allow myself to do that... I haven’t been alone for a very long time now and it can be hard.
My brother had the video in his recommended, pointed at it, and said “that’s you”
having derealization disorder is like watching your life through a foggy tv screen and its so werid when you randomly become aware and everything feels real again its very overwhelming
ive been suffering with derealization my whole life but its been getting worse as ive grown up. its very difficult and i find myself isolating myself and refusing to go out because i feel more comfortable in a "fake" room than the "fake" world.
i also have some other personal issues that cause me to just feel uncomfortable outside (trees talking to me, hallucinating people watching and following me).
That sounds more like schizophrenia buddy.
Hi! DID system here :) small correction at 7:45, a host does not necessarily carry the body's legal name. Any alter can become a host, there can be multiple hosts, and hosts can change over time. On the other side of the spectrum some systems have no host at all
Another note: all identities are alters, even the hosts are in fact alters
I've been living in a state of derealization for upwards of 2 years now, and neither I nor the mental health professionals I work with know how to tackle it. I feel like a pair of eyes that's just looking at the world but not really processing it. The things my body does just feel like I'm piloting it in the 3rd person. It's fucking terrifying. To be so disconnected from yourself that it feels like you're not even part of your own body, but that you're also trapped within it. For the most part I let my body autopilot the things I need to do (working, schoolwork, etc.) but when I'm left alone with myself, I have existential crises, wondering why I am the way I am and when it will stop. I don't even feel like myself anymore. I feel like a machine that's programmed to do certain tasks on a day to day basis. It's such a dehumanizing way to live, and I'm not sure how much more of it I can take. Thank you, Sisyphus, for giving a delicate but very true and educational description of derealization. I'm hoping I'll be able to claw my way out of my own soon. It's no way to live. It's hardly even living, it's just existing.
I swear you will get through it trust me you will so many people go through the same thing it’s just the mystery of the brain. I myself went through it and still deal with it time to time you just have to accept it don’t allow the anxiety to take you over and one day slowly you’ll realize it faded away. I promise you pray for strength and happiness and soon you’ll be at peace. A big trigger for the disorder is stress so even when you are going through a lot I promise you just have to see life in the beautiful way it is. I know I sound like it’s easy cuz it isn’t but trust me you will be okay. Love the people around you enjoy their time be grateful for life even if your mind is tricking you that you don’t, you truly do and you will be fine, love you ❤️
derealization is horrible ..have it for around 10-ish years now and i really wouldnt wish it on anyone else.
It doesnt feel like you are "There" anymore and it feels more like your subconscious controls more of your life than your actual being.
alot of tasks are done automatically and you often wont even remember what you did just 10 minutes ago since you are so far away from whats going on around you.
But the most horrible part for me is being Unable to "feel" the world around you anymore.. there is no difference between being "inside your room" or being outside in a huge park... it just the only thing thats different for me is Smell and Temperature of these places.. the rest is just like a screen in front of you without any depth.
Time also doesnt feel real anymore and since you cant remember much of the stuff you do, time will fly much faster for me... I am 23 right now and if you asked me to recall ANY moment from the past 10~ years I could actually not recall any events in my life.
When telling my Phsychologist about those symptoms they just say: "That doesnt really sound like anything to me" which makes me absolutely hopeless since i feel like just a shell of what is supposed to be a Human being.
I drifted off into Alcoholism since it is the only thing that Makes you feel "Something".
Im Scared.
drinking makes it harder, i have an addiction to pills, so i can't say much. you're probably much older than me, since you're drinking alcohol- i've only been suffering for ~5 years, i'm only 14. it baffles me to sometimes look at myself and think "where did the time go", my childhood was ruined and this is the outcome. soon i'm getting tested for medication and i might have somatic OCD as well. i have underlying symptoms of DID, and i don't think a child should be thinking about suicide. but if you have similar thoughts, please don't worry. you're not alone. people are here with you. my psychiatrist makes me track my dissociation, and i've been missing out recently due to my visit to the mental hospital. i really hope i can get that back on track as soon as possible
I’ve been getting episodes of DPDR almost every day for five years now. It’s really, really tough. It happens whenever I achieve something, or try something new, or go somewhere new. Many times it happens as soon as I step outside. Many times it happens as soon as I wake up in the morning. I feel like I can’t make myself happy, and that there’s nowhere I can possibly go in life, and a lot of times I feel I have no hope. There’s no point.
But I am still here, I am alive. And I am fighting. Even if it feels there is no hope, stay and fight with me.
I just want to say I feel the same way and I hope you are living your best life to the fullest 😊❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
Need new therapist.
I have conversion disorder. The confusion around when it first started and later when I was diagnosed was horrible, and trying to work through the trauma that causes it is dibilitating.
8:33 This comment is for reference, in case I need a refresher on the aerodynamics of a cow
I feel like a video about Foucault's view on the history of mental health and institutions would be a great follow-up to this!
We have DID or dissociative identity disorder. I am glad you covered. I would like to add DID is not suggested by therapist either you have it or you don't In recent DID research they show in Brain scans how different parts of the brain are active when an alter fronts vs the host. There definitely should be more research on the area but when you deal with consciousness it can be difficult.
It's so wild to see something I have (derealization) on a list like this - I always forget that it's not something everyone experiences and that it's relatively uncommon, since it's just kinda my everyday
i do the same thing too 😭 i have to remind myself it’s not extremely common to convince myself i’m not here.
@@burgercatzhow has your experience been with it? I also suffer from this disorder. Heavily.
@@dismaleclipse5587 it’s been pretty bad, i don’t get too much of it anymore (but it’s not uncommon) but early 2023 was a hard hitter. i just felt so unreal and it was in a way that made me absolutely desperate to try and feel something again resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms, and at one point i had basically convinced myself that i was an alien who stole a young girls body and stripped her away from her family and friends and turned her into a whole different person??
"inside your skull is the greatest mystery of universe"
- the brain
I have Conversion Disorder, its honestly really frustrating because the doctors excuse it as "its all in your head" and though its true it still hurts me when they say that
I took ssris for a while and i ended up with derealization, it was very odd because every once in a while you become aware of your existence and it’s a freaky experience. I imagine it’s similar to being born again 😭
I'm not sure if this is exactly what you're talking about but during the many years I was derealised, I would occasionally have these abrupt flashes of reality being real and I'd literally feel nauseous. I think I was so used to feeling like I existed in a dream that when things actually became real, it left me reeling. It's horrible! Derealisation/depersonalisation is like this absurd embodiment of existentialism.
@@alexandria.c yes exactly, or the random “how did i get here?” when you’ve been in the passenger seat of a car for too long it’s all just scary as fuck because it’s like watching a movie then all of a sudden you’re transported into the movie
@@rickertonfickerton1268 big time, waking up from a dream when you didn't even realise you were asleep is absolutely terrifying- it makes everything in the world feel so amplified. it feels like ive just been half asleep doing my thing in a dark room and suddenly someone has come in and blasted the lights and thrown water in my face lol
@@oliviafrancis3074 exactly lmaoooo
oh no is it something ssris can cause?!!! i’ve been on citalopram for years and i experience something that’s… kind of like derealizatjon? it rarely happens because it’s only when i’m alone in a very quiet space or extremely bored. It’s basically like if i’m deprived of stimulus for long enough i detach from myself completely and start to convince myself that pain isn’t real. then i start trying to bite all the skin off my fingers or scrape all the skin off my legs, etc. it usually only manifests as biting the inside of my mouth or picking at the skin around my nails, but it’s led to stuff like one time i was stuck at a really shitty high school orchestra concert and i was so fucking disassociated from boredom that i convinced myself pain wasn’t real and i bit my fingers until they were super bloody. it’s not like a picking disorder or something cuz i don’t have an urge to do it when i’m in a normal emotional state, it only happens if i am left alone with my thoughts for extended periods of time lmao
I had/have conversion disorder, my thoughts can cause seizures. Memories of past trauma can cause seizures, stress and anxiety were also triggers. A year of therapy helped me, though.
Does physical pain trigger your episodes?
@@meaadwadi104 Not really, it's mental/emotional pain.
wanted to add two to this list: stendhal syndrome and misophonia. misophonia isnt actually a recognized psychological disorder but its characterized by intolerance to certain sounds, or trigger sounds like popping, clicking, chewing, and other sounds. stendhal syndrome is another disorder characterized by hallucinations and disorientation when seeing something beautiful like an artwork.
just two conditions i think should really be talked about more
Was going to make a comment about the years I spent living with depersonalization and, later, derealization but now I see that many beat me to it. I am amazed at how many people are reporting to have had it, I always felt completely alone.
For me personally, it began after smoking marijuana frequently, and would often be amplified by the use of computers and looking at screens. The proliferation of both these things in modern society may provide some answers as to why it is so common, but I think such things just tend to amplify internal feelings that many have regarding not being in control of their lives.
If you have DP/DR now, I was able to shake it off by never taking any drugs again, and traveling to places outside of the modern/western world (greater sense of freedom, but also the sense of danger will kick your senses back into shape), living largely independent of obligations. It cost money to live like that, but in the end it saved my mental health and it was absolutely worth it.
Thank u
4:29
Jerusalem Syndrome seems like the kind of feeling you get after watching out of a really good movie and feeling like you're within that world when the credits roll 😂
I experienced derealisation for a number of years, it petty much disappeared after I started medication for anxiety symptoms. It was really surreal to just feel like the world around me is fading away like I’m being isolated from the world physically, usually when feeling overstimulated.
I had Alice in Wonderland syndrome as a kid and I remember it mostly happened when I was about to sleep, if the room was dark chances were that I would see furniture in my room get really small and far away. It felt so common to just see my room get far away each night that at 23 I can't believe it's not happening anymore.
Wait i had that happen to me too! I remember i used to stare at my wall every night and seeing it shrink and move further away from me… It was so cool
HOLY CRAP same here, I used to have it back then, and it also ONLY happened when the room was dark •_•
Same I used to visualize myself shrinking to the size of a quarter and then floating into the corner of my room and just looking around. Lasted like 10 minutes or so. Happened maybe 5 times
yoooo ik what that feels like fr
i used to have the opposite, and it was terrifying… my perception would become smaller and smaller until i felt like i was tiny, my bedroom wall would stretch out for miles.. usually i would try to ground myself by moving around and i would manage to get to sleep
Your videos feel like an ARG to me. I feel like at any point it's just gonna swap to something else and spook the hell out of me. Keeps me on my toes. Quite well done!
I remember a little while back I read this book that was about the psychological affects of emotional and sexual abuse to a child and its abusers. At the end, the main character was revealed to have had dissociative identity disorder, and the way it was played out was so realistic. The book made it seem like there were 2 main characters, and later in the book when one character was mentioned to the other, they were confused like "What do you mean, I'm right here" and such.
The book is called Identical by Ellen Hopkins. It did a great job showing what DID could look like and how emotional and sexual childhood trauma could psychologically affect someone.
As someone with Schizophrenia, this video was very informative, not to meantion enlightening. These other psychological issues share a lot of chracteristics my schizoactive symptons- a lot of the time I miss interpret someone talking to me or seeing something which looks VERY, so It's hard to distinguish reality from imagination. I know it's not real but it's like my subconscious is wired to be afraid of it.. I've had cases where a stranger is minding their business and I get the convuluted inpression that they don't like me, are threatening me, out to get me, etc; It's very jarring
stay strong. psychotic features are a part of life and they suck. as someone who experiences them from bipolar (hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, etc etc) it’s strangely comforting hearing others share your experiences.
u got this :)
@@bluewuppo Thank you, It is really nice hearing somebody give me their two cents on the situation.
Diogenes syndrome is a misnomer because Diogenes hoarded nothing and no possessions except a bowl that he eventually threw away.
the animation at 5:40 is an almost perfect representation of how I feel when I'm spiraling.
Also I know that you didn't intend to but it was quite triggering for me. For me at least, its kinda like a switch that just flicks itself on and off and usually I don't know what triggers it but you mentioning it did. I wish there was some kind of warning. Again, I understand that there was no way of you knowing and that you didn't mean to cause any harm but just please consider it next time.
There is a warning. It’s the title of the video.
Obviously another fantastic video, but aside from the subject matter, I love the development of this guys visual style. the font choices, EQd music and little drawings have become more cohesive as the channel has grown and I'm now always delighted with such a pleasant visual experience alongside the bottomless well of philosophical insights. One of my favourite channels
I have DID and some de-realization. It is so hard to find someone who understands this disorder well and you will most likely be put on medicines for schizophrenia or bipolar since there is a bias against DID. Hollywood also portrays the most extreme and violent cases which makes society have a caricature idea of what it's actually like.
Let me guess your self diagnosed?
I might have DID, but I'll only say I do when I get professionally diagnosed, but I have used credible sites to learn about symptoms I show and know of.
I've had blackouts, only ones that I know of are 2, which were after a fight with my mom that triggered a bag physical response during the fight. during gym class my teacher told me that I just started screaming in the middle of gym class out of no where, both times. all I remember is just playing Pokemon HeartGold.
I am impulsive, but that can be many things, like adhd
I do have memory issues, a few of my memories are static faced with no voice, but I know what's being said just not the face. some of those memories are distorted
when I am able to I'm going to get a proper professional to see if I do have DID, or it's another mental issue, hopefully I don't have DID
Those who understand it well usually have dissociative barriers and muliplicity themselves. Knowledge and theories about it are kind of only pushed by word of mouth, unfortunately.
We, Our system have had the privilege to have discussions with systems of massive intellect, And even together we tended to show different ways of how our symptoms surfaced.
@@appreciatereciprocate5748 interesting
@@AryFemMtF could you please give me the name of some credible sites ?
The brain is so amazing when it works well; but terrifying when it fails.
9:00 Amogus
I’ve had symptoms of severe derealization and depersonalization, I talked about it with my psychiatrist but I’ve never been diagnosed which is quite of a problem because it affects my daily life. These symptoms often triggered anxiety, paranoia, intrusive thoughts and, in most cases, mild memory loss
Living with this at the moment is shit but I’ve had it a lot worse when I was in elementary school
Sir, Madam, or whatever you identify as... If you constantly bring up the same phenomena time and time again, and your therapist/psychologist consistently dismisses it, it's time to find a new one.
@@KitsuneCentral the problem is that a psychiatrist cannot diagnose and I can't get a therapist so we can't do much.
My fiancé has DID. It’s been an interesting experience learning to navigate life with their disorder but open communication makes all the difference! I wouldn’t trade them for the world and I’m even on pretty good terms with a few of their alters! Though my fiancé is the only one I would ever love from the system in a romantic sense I still respect the others for who they are!
Did isn't real. Your fiancee is an attention starved narcissist and you're gullible
As someone who;s in a relationship with a few members of the same DID system, it's genuinely so nice to hear this! I wish you and your fiance the best of luck in your relationship! :)
It's not real. She's playing you.
I might have dereliazation. It completely fits the description, I was always wondering what it was. People around me get stressed in certain situations very easily whether nothing of it all matters to me. But then, there are some moments in life, just some moments, where I feel like I'm cured. It occurs during a nighttime walk or when I get told something rather nice: It feels like I live again.
I was waiting for it, but I'd be one of the few with Clinical Lycanthropy. I don't have such dramatic symptoms, but I do have schizophrenia and PTSD since i was a little kid. Basically i had a super traumatic 2021 with drastic things happening one after the other along with nearly dying a couple times. And in the stress of it all while having PTSD, whenever those moments show up i'll instinctively growl as a way of my mind making a blockade from going further into the memories that cause my PTSD. That and small growls when I yawn or when i get pissed off. I dont see myself as a wolf or a warewolf & I'm glad i have it in a minor state, cause in a way it protects me from the mental side that causes me more harm/stress.
were you diagnosed with clinical lycanthopy? i have ptsd and sometimes i've hissed to stave off intrusive thoughts. it could just be a tic of sorts
Hearing "genitals" and "clamping device" in the same sentence is disconcerting.