If your a glutton for punishment and You like headaches, panic attacks, aches and pains, joint pain, muscle pain, skin irritation, eczema, high blood pressure,stress, anxiety, depression, overall poor health due to all the mind fuckery..... By all means take them back or else you can live your best life. There isn't two choices here there is only one.
It’s a damn shame that one person can cause you and your body to have all these issues. What makes it even worse is that this isn’t even half the S#** they’re capable of doing too you if you allow them to stay or come back into your life. Being with them is a death sentence, and they literally give -0 F’s! about you while they’re slowing kill’n you off!
Anxiety, palpitations, stress - this is what I felt when having to deal with him. I ran away. I can't stand the thought of speaking to him so am NC. He is an energy vampire. I felt drained and exhausted. So sad because he once used to make me feel alive. Now I feel I would rather die than be anywhere near him. There really is nothing left. Just the smoking embers and ashes of what once was. I am relieved, indifferent and at times a little numb. But most of all I'm tired - actually just exhausted. I need space and time.
@@iamresilient341 it is a shame I've been in plenty of stressful situations in my life and handled myself because I knew what I was dealing with but with her it took me years and only Copt on when I read up on narcissiam it takes its toll and its a shock to the system when you find out it was a sick game
Narcissist in particular don't come back because they changed and appreciate you all of a sudden. They come back for supply, your unearned/ non reciprocal care and affection. They come back because they can't stand being on their own lackluster company. They come back to manipulate you and fill their void of insecurity. They come back to show you their greatness. The come back because they are shallow people who only know how to perform and they need an audience. They come back because they lack options, because being single isn't a good look in their book. They come back acting entitled to a human accessory by their side that would add value to their image. They come back to treat you as a convenience, not a human being. They come back in disbelief you're doing better without them. They come back to confirm they can still have you. They come back because of them, not because of you. They come because they need you, not because they love you and they'll still think they're doing you a favor.
My narc contacted me after a year absence. I found out that he was actually married. So when he texted me I said to say hello to his wife. He seemed shocked and said “you are a f***ing nut” then he blocked me. Lol what an idiot,
Excellent 🤣🤣 That's exactly what I would have done too and he would have denied it. Just as he denied the existence of his kids and who their mother is although I had their birth certificates in my hand, unbeknown to him. Bare-faced lying straight in my face 😒 😐 🙄
@@paulreints2279I know exactly how you feel. I was with a beautiful young narc woman and it was the breakup make up cycle for 3 months and then she started blaming for everything wrong in her life. And she would always lure me back and every time we would break up I would beat myself up hoping I would get another chance to fix it the next time. Not say something or do something that would cause her to push me away. All of my friends kept saying move on and I never listened until a few days ago when I woke up and recognized that something wasn’t right. I haven’t had contact for 3 days but it’s been miserable because all I want to do is hear from her or have her ask me to come over. I’m trying to stay strong.
Yep mines beautiful but very insecure. Asked her to marry me. She said yes. Then she vanished day after. Not heard anything since. I've kept the door open for her as I'm a doormat😢
I had to comment! Mine is just THAT nosey and the need to control is overwhelming! So, he has to know what I am doing. GO NO CONTACT. STAY NO CONTACT. DON'T FALL FOR ANY MORE LIES.
very well put! now I have a better understanding. as an empath it took me a while to try to understand how someone could be so cruel “to someone they cared about” why they treated me the way they did and had no sympathy nor ever decided to give any apology. I now understand that they never cared and that it has everything to do with THEM and not me. they are VERY miserable human beings. no one should deserve to go through this. I am no longer a part of them and I thank God for it!!
In my younger years, I disregarded the toxicity these people had. I concentrated on the entertainment part. The charm they use to draw you into their sticky web. I was an easy target. An obvious one. This video explains very well how the relationship works. Eventually I began to recognize the narcs and understand their game. The narc who tries to hook up with you again is pathetic and desperate. It would be comical if it weren't so sad. Once you set a boundary with a narc, maintain it in a calm, deliberate way. It's like a catharsis. You are free to fly!
So well explained, thank you 🙏 Narcissist have no regard, respect, honesty. They are crazy! I finally managed to get away after 9 years of turbulence! Never 👎 again
Yes! They say the damnedest things. As if empaths will simply fall for it without questioning. What worked for them initially won't work a second time if you maintain your boundaries. Otherwise it's on again, off again and nauseum.
These videos really make sense I have taken my husband back twice after discards and even after he filed for divorce I wanted to believe that he had realized our 27 years marriage was worth saving 10 months of love bombing then he flip his switch once again I stand up for my self so he filed for divorce and blames me he did I want to get my life back and love me since he doesn’t know what deep love is My reality is he will never value our relationship so I’m ready to focus on my self I feel so much stronger and confident to move on and be alone with my dog who loves me unconditionally I am determined to be a survivor of narcissistic abuse
I could have written this except I only went back once....my oldest son learned from his father .he has the same personality Surprise-surprise...he's blocked me and hasn't spoken to me in over a year..couldn't even thank him for the favor..😊😊😊
@@pamh2018 it's hard. My wife of five years is a textbook narcissist. Has done everything described in these videos. Time to move on, but she has a way of drawing me back daily. I keep dreaming she gets it & has really changed. Then she lies right to my face about stuff I have evidence of. Sad. Both her and I.
@@paulreints2279 sweetheart let her go it doesn’t do you any good they never ever change they only get worse. It’s hard to leave and I know my journey of recovery will be long as I was devoted to him and I’m still very much in love with him. But now I realise there is only me who can save me. Go ahead and forge a happier life for yourself and don’t look back. Xxxxxxxxx
Day 25 of no contact after he discarded me without any explanation. I blocked him on all communication platforms. He hasn’t tried anything and I doubt he’s hovering as I think he already had new supply. I wish the new supply luck and strength, he’s not my problem anymore and honestly I feel like myself again. The only thing that makes me sad is that he’d even let me build a relationship with his 10 year old daughter and we were so close. Reading the letters she wrote me breaks my heart and I miss her.
@@nanfeminer446 I’m sure it feels so good to have been the one that left. I struggled for days with being the one that was left even though I felt like leaving him long before he left me. Either way I’m happy to be free of his toxicity and insanity.
UPDATE: 2 weeks ago he tried to contact me. I didn’t respond to any messages and because he’s blocked his calls didn’t come through, I kept getting messages from the service provider that he’s trying to call. It felt so good. I just pray he doesn’t physically come to my home or workplace.
Yep. He openly told me ‘i suppose i do need some stability’. They are so open about it all - yet so very few hear it. Once we have been through it its like we are privy to a whole new language and its crystal clear 🙏🏼
Ya my hubby too told me when I revolted to his ways that it is his needs to have a woman connected with me for 24 hours otherwise he cannot survive . He is a totally dependent person and cannot imagine living on his own . I did not know what narcissism was about till recently , I could relate his behaviour to that of patriarchy , that axman has to be always higher than the woman in everything and all decisions are theirs and the woman should tone down to be subordinates and they should only give input but not make decisions . It has to be their way always . I am not supposed to do anything that shows me in more lime light than him , so I should keep a low profile . He should control my money , and I cannot buy any saving policy in my name alone . He wasn’t very smart in putting my name as the owner of all our property and making sure he aaa the nominee without who the primary owner cannot cannot have any right in it with out the nominee’s permit . So that way he would not take responsibility but wants to enjoy the ownership in disguise. He has been utterly mean .. no concern what so ever . He feels it was his right to get into extramarital to take revenge from me for having revolted in the relationship . So it has been a full movie of my life , that sure needs to be written down as a novel and then enacted into the movie
Sitting here numb at the accuracy of this description which perfectly mirrors my experience. The lack of empathy was profound, The need for validation and approval never-ending. Brilliant summary.
Press charges if they do return. Don’t be afraid to get law enforcements involved for your safety or well-being. Don’t ever be afraid to contact the authorities. Press every charge there is against that person that you can get processed.
Mine came back after a whole year, following the traditional cycle of love bombing, gaslighting, cheating, devaluation, never taking accountability. I was extremely hurt at first bc I thought I was in love and had found my soulmate but I ended up blocking him everywhere when he wouldn’t own up to his actions & I was just done being treated like crap. I asked myself why I was putting up with that when it was easy for me to find another man. It took me a while to get over him (a couple months) but I did end up moving on and finding somebody who treated me much better. Anyways A whole year later he ends up emailing me wishing to reconnect. No apology, no nothing. Just sliding back in the dms asking what went wrong and wanting to talk. I ended up ignoring it again and blocking his email. The audacity. Where was he when I needed him? Oh that’s right with the supply he cheated on me with. Never give these monsters a second chance. The cycle of abuse w them will NEVER end.
5 months ago ! İt was agust and she came back after 15 months later she is from different country when i met with her first in the hotel i liked her we had nice time she back to home maybe 2, weeks or 3, weeks she was talking with me even she said i wanna come back soon and said this time i will come! But she didnt and changed and she said i only care about myself ! And for no reason she deleted me on instagram and said instagram has problem please add me back but i didnt ! After that maybe 2 weeks she stalked my stroies ! And stop! İ forgot her and 15 months later i dont know how she find me back and rememebered ! She send me messages like very sorry for the past what she did like forgive mec! İ was in schoked i said how can u remmeber me? And she said im Turkey im in the hotel and we met again everyday she was with me in my activty every night she was with me but later i learned she cheated there also and so many manipulatiosn ! Before she back to home she said next martch i will be back and everyday she started to text me but all about her always her problems! Always acting me and wanting my interest on her once a few times i blocked her but she always find me back ! And explaning but i didnt understand all is manupilations i was in love with her! And later she she started like im terrible like im nothing like im animal always excuses! İ get so mad i always cared even she was saying i care about you but i understood she always cheating and kidding with me because she knows i love her ! Always thinking herself she is smart she is beautifull! İ understood all she is narcist i said you are just fucking liar and gamer you just playing your game! She also said im reget but all was lie ! Then she stop with me i also stop texting and how she cut me and throw me out ! İ felt like im the worst person in the life i saw she has no feelings! No pity! 15 days more her sister stalked me ! And stopped 1 month later again her sister stalked me again ! Why her sister is watching me? İt was confusing me.. İ text her do you remember me? She said Hey it will take time and you will get over it hope that you feel better atleast ! İ was in shock cuz i just asked do you remember me? İ said i see that you stalking me ! She said so relax im looking sometimes! İ didnt say anything and next night also she watched again but why her sister! Anyway i didnt say anything ! And 10 more days passed her sister watched me again ! İ didnt say anything after 5 days later first time she herself watched my stroy ! İ was in schoked but i didnt say or write anything ! And stopped since 1 month and 24 january in yhe morning she agian herself watched my story ! How she remember me? Why she is watching and stoping? Why she is not talking? And she stoped again and yesterday i coverd my page outside! So if she look again she will not see anymore! But her sister was also herself i understood her ! So terrible game! What i did to her ! Anything ! Will she come back again ?
My Narcissistic girlfriend also had a dangerous Narc daughter. Threatened my doctor and Real Estate broker with law suits. She told them when she got done their children would starve. I watched her daughter murder her uncle in his last days of life. She couldn't wait to get money. The police didn't care. She poured oxys down his throat. I was in shock. They all just use people for what people can do for them. Then throw them away like trash. The stories get so insane no one believes them.
I really thought I was that girl! He came back over and over and wouldn’t leave me alone! Now I realize that wasn’t a flex at all!! He was using me just like he was using a bunch of other women for his own personal gain. I know better now.
Narcissists see people as objects from which to extract supply. That's all.. They do not see human beings the way normal people do. No contact is essential. ANY response from us is supply. ANY, even tiny response.
oh hell no! a narc that left me in jan just came back exactly as i was getting over em and cutting cords and doing all the hard work emotionally! i was hoping they'd stay away since i did NOT chase them when they left i just continued on with my life, but oh god no. my anxiety is back. this is my body telling me to leave.
My narc never came back after a thousand times of love bombing, then discarding, then love bombing for two years. The last correspondence was me telling him if there was nothing there for him (he disappeared for a month) then to just say it and I’d never reach out again. He never answered. It’s been two months. I felt like I died I was so hurt but I am finally starting to feel like myself again. I can now think he didn’t care about me and my heart doesn’t feel like it’s ripping apart. It’s turned into a dull sadness more than anguish.
right, good of you to keep going over this issue, as it is surprisingly difficult to not get sucked in again, no matter how much you have suffered, and no matter how sure you are that "this time", you will stop it...
Great analogy with the phone! Very helpful for understanding why they try to come back. Careful reading of her hoovering texts plainly reveals she has zero interest in my well-being, zero understanding of her role in making life miserable, but wants to exploit what I can do for her. Always, always, always everything is about her. Months and years after she abandoned me, broke my heart over and over, out of the blue come texts like nothing ever happened. Hey, let's get together, OK? "No, I don't want to do that. " And immediately the old argument provoking response. "I can't imagine why!" After 20 years .. nope. Not going there again.
Perhaps you can make a video about why a narcissist will never get help to change themselves. I have learned that narcissists live with a low grade level of depression and this is what spurs them to find new sources to feed off of. Why would an individual that suffers not want too understand why they suffer and find possibly new and less destructive ways of getting their needs met. This part really does puzzle me. Thanks
They won't get help because they don't think anything is wrong and they don't want to change. They are perfectly content with themselves and actually have a very high regard for their false self....and they can't go anywhere near their real self which is what actually needs the therapy.
@@gypsyroseverrazzano1010 but if they suffer from a low grade depression which they can only escape by doing the crazy things they do wouldn’t they at some point get tired of being on that merry go round and not seek help? I’m asking cause most people usually will look for a longer lasting solution rather than live such a draining existence. Thanks
@@richvail7551 No....they just get more extreme...and as they age, it gets worse. They cannot get anywhere near their real self because then they have to deal with all their shame and guilt and self loathing, which is the result of abuse/neglect/objectifying by a primary caregiver when they were growing up. It's not draining to them, it's normal.
I walked out on a narc husband. After that he would ask whether he may come over. Then he spoilt me just in order for me allowing him to come over. No sleepover. He always asked what do I need...Any groceries. even dogfood. So we ended up like now and then friends. Whenever he became nasty,I asked him to leave. After a week or two, he would ask may he visit? He became very ill and I cared for him till he passed. He left a good inheritance to me. So this narc story had a better ending.
Yea it’s transactional for them. Everything leads back up to their mood, happiness, and how they interpret things. It’s all about them. They’ll even make you feel bad if you come to them about your personal struggles or issues, it’ll always reverse back to them. Everything is about them their needs and wants. It’s a one sided narrative false relationship with absolutely no loyalty or commitment that’s why will abandon their partners.
@Of the Refrain thank you ...all I did was give to the kindness of my heart...whatever he asked of I gived him...and all he did was lie an manipulate to gain his needs...using the word 'I love you' still wonder if he cared at all...
@Of the Refrain will continue to educate myself...🙏💕theres good days and bad...but seeing that Im not alone and how people cope and learn to heal is a great start...hopefully I will learn from my mistake...
Great synopsis! I had a 40 year friendship w/ a narcissist. Once I understand what a narcissist was I began to trend her behavior. I fully understood what was happening but I allowed the friendship to continue because of the longevity. I had an awakening incident with her six months ago and it was a watershed moment for me. I realized the friendship must end...not w/ malice but with a clear understanding that our pathologies could not co-exist any longer. Of course, she did not understand and made light of the incident but I said my peace to her and tried to end it in a nice way. I have since blocked her on my phone and all social media. It been a journey of grief and empowerment for me. I am in therapy and it has helped as well as just giving it time. She recently tried to contact me through a friend. I will stay strong and confident in my decision. I wish her and her family the very best as I'm sure she does mine. Sometimes friendships must end for a myriad of reasons.
I wish I had all this knowledge when I took my narc husband back after 4 years apart whilst he was with another women. I took him back for another 4 years of hell and he decided to have another affair and leave me high and dry with his debts. I am in the process of losing my home. Soo learned a hard lesson for life
I’m sorry to hear this but they “Hoover” back into your life to wheel you back in or to use you. That’s all they don’t have love or respect or empathy towards the person they hurt. They don’t even care about you once you come back together with them. Either they reach out because their new fling didn’t workout or they reached extreme debts or they’re looking to sleep together to use you basically. Don’t ever let no in Hoover you back in that’s a narcissist. Imagine after 4 years you come back to an ex? Lmao. Don’t ever return.
I had a panic attack and she didn't even care, I'm glad its over. its hurts because I thought she really cared, but now that I know she doesn't, I'm glad she's gone. I never wanna date again
If you caused "mortification" (injury), they will not come back! If you called them out and caused a great amount of shame they will NOT come back!! My experience!!
I think I heard at least 4 reasons… 1. get needs met 2. Object permanence 3. They have no empathy 4. Confident you willl take them back. A short recap would have been nice…
lack of empath , superficial ، impulsivity and supply are Reasons for the narcissist's return to you .. narcissist always convincing himself of many things that justify his impulsivity , meets his needs and corresponds his fantasy world .
My husband got a younger woman pregnant while he wanted a “trial separation”. Until he knew she was pregnant he kept trying to work on us while I thought we were still monogamous. When I found out about her and then the pregnancy much later it really messed me up. But as I heal and undo all the damage he caused to my psyche and confidence, I realize it’s a good thing. He knows I will never tolerate being with a man with a baby from an affair. I could not spend the rest of my life with the constant reminder. That alone is enough to make me immune to any of his attempts for reconciliation.
I use the phone analogy as well but I say a narcissist treats you like a phone, when the latest model comes out they sell you off and get the new one.. you’re an object.
Coincidentally and oddly enough I ran into my ex Narc almost a year to the day of our break up while walking my dog. We played catch up. He went back to his life just as it was before he met me. Same friends same routine same everything. He showed me a text between him and one of my neighbors where they were both bashing me. He made reference to some texts I sent him after our break up where he accused me of giving him an STD. I gave him a verbal beat down and beat his ego like a pinata out of anger. He was the perpetrator turned victim. I said things to him to make him not ever want to return to me. But he's cleverly flipped the script telling everybody that I'm crazy and he doesn't want anything to do with me. Despite me rejecting all his Hoover attempts and threatening to show how he kept constantly reaching out to me via text messages. I was on the verge of getting a restraining order against this person.
They wont come back and if they actually do, never accept em. Just move forward and upgrade for a better person worth you. Time heals the wounds and just make sure to work on yourself.
Truly when I first read about a Human Being seeing another Human being as an Object. think it was 7 months ago. It was the first time in my life 62 years old. I couldn’t Panthom that. It is unthinkable, beyond subhuman. I had to sit and think how is this humanly possible. The Rearing? Plus more. NPD is a horrible disconnection to reality.
Their friends and family are seeing through the BS Shenanigans....save their own face. Use your presence to provide from you what you can do for them...not to care for your wellbeing
Object constancy is a used term in psychology, and does refer to everybody. It has nothing to do with narcissists' treating you as objects (which they do, but here this term does not apply), it is about the inner safety that ideally should develop in everybody in early childhood, meaning that even if an important person is not there physically, they still exist, they will come back, they will not abandon them. The simplest example: if the mother leaves the room, the baby becomes tense as they do not have object constancy yet, they subconsciously are terrified that the mother disappeared. A 3 year-old, however, ideally has object constancy developed to a certain level, therefore if the mother "disappears" for a while (the toddler is left in daycare, for instance), they are aware that she still exists, and she will return to pick them up. THAT is object constancy.
the worst narcissist in my life..my adult son (37) ..I am NC with him and my X husband..bubble burst..quit lying to myself..no more being a pretzel...one nervous breakdown is enough..finally free..living my best life..shame and blame..gone..choices have been made by all..
Coming back should not be an option if you have done NO CONTACT PROPERLY DELETE EVERYTHING CHANGE NUMBERS MOVE PHYSICAL IF YOU. Don’t give them any way to come back. Look 👀 them straight in the eyes and say F K OFF
I like the things your are saying, but my question is, "Why do they gang stalk you after you've ended the entanglement?" What is the purpose of them keeping track of your whereabouts?
My x narcissist is literally still stalking me after 2 years of no contact from me ( many attempts from her ) after she did her best to ruin me when she left ( I clearly and repeatedly warned her) 13 years of giving all my time effort and money to her and her 3 kids from 2 fathers and she actually blurted out she hated me to gaslight me. Now she begging and trying everything to get me to respond.
Narcissistic injury. They become obsessed with you after you discard them before they have the chance to replace and discard you. And they can't get you out if the fantasy world (their head), unless they can destroy or kill you (malignant narcissist). That's what she didnt mention.
That’s where you get the law involved. I threatened my ex with the law if he comes any where near me and I will get licensed to carry a concealed weapon. I don’t mind taking out charges for assaults, stalking, and harassment. I told them if they ever showed up at my home or work place I will have 911 on speed dial.
Mine walk I guess a year ago. She never gave closure. The last thing I couldn’t provide her when I was going to see her. Apple laptop pro. “ I’ll pay you back”. That was the cost of admission. A computer. I didn’t have the 2k. And myself slid into depression and she walked. I’m in nyc shed lives in brasil. 63 yrs old. I’m 60 and put up with a lot. She’s had my replacement a few months. I wonder if she will Hoover? I went silent. On new years.
Yes . When he come back I’m always accept . Well I love him I thought about it . If I didn’t except we are over .but once I accept and he had other girl so I let him go … it’s half he’s ego . He put relationship change the name to other girl. So I can’t do anything . But no contact one month . He came back . I think this leaps happen . I’m deal with it . Cause I still love him .
My ex narcosociopathic friend and wannabe horse trainer and I are unfortunately stuck at the same barn where she dared to try to snake charm her way back into my life as of this morning and was shown the door. I’m so done! She acts like she’s the most wonderful thing ever to walk the earth and thinks that she can keep me in her little box and that I’m just going to cave in like I did before. Then there’s the gaslighting act where she discusses me in my presence to my friends and hijacking’ a conversation that didn’t include her at all and starts with the I’m only doing it for your safety act . She isn’t doing anything for me except pissing me off and totally ruining my morning.
I was hesitant to put my ex in the narcissist category. However after two breakups (her choice) she got into long distance rebounds quickly both times. She monkey branched back to me both times, love bombed me both times, then came the devaluation and discard both times. Now after therapy, l can safely say l was in a relationship with a narcissist. She's off repeating the same pattern.
I’ve posted on several of your videos detailing my struggles, and after watching this, I’m thinking, will he really be back? I mean, I walked away from him twice before and stupidly (I was trauma bonded) allowed him back in. This time he just unceremoniously ghosted me, and I saw it as a blessing in disguise. I feel the trauma bond is broken. I’m still very hurt and miss him, but I’m over it all and I don’t want any more to do with him. I’d rather heal than return. But he must know that ghosting me would be final, right? I mean, could anyone be stupid enough to think there is any chance of coming back after that? He knows I won’t buy his lies anymore. Couldn’t this be final? I just want to heal and move on and not deal with this anymore.
1 To get their needs met
2 They lack empathy for your experience
3 They live in a fantasy and believe you will take them back
Thanks
Sad part is they are incapable of reciprocating
If your a glutton for punishment and
You like headaches, panic attacks, aches and pains, joint pain, muscle pain, skin irritation, eczema, high blood pressure,stress, anxiety, depression, overall poor health due to all the mind fuckery.....
By all means take them back or else you can live your best life. There isn't two choices here there is only one.
It’s a damn shame that one person can cause you and your body to have all these issues. What makes it even worse is that this isn’t even half the S#** they’re capable of doing too you if you allow them to stay or come back into your life. Being with them is a death sentence, and they literally give -0 F’s! about you while they’re slowing kill’n you off!
Anxiety, palpitations, stress - this is what I felt when having to deal with him. I ran away. I can't stand the thought of speaking to him so am NC. He is an energy vampire. I felt drained and exhausted. So sad because he once used to make me feel alive. Now I feel I would rather die than be anywhere near him. There really is nothing left. Just the smoking embers and ashes of what once was. I am relieved, indifferent and at times a little numb. But most of all I'm tired - actually just exhausted. I need space and time.
@@AJ-kb9hf it is sad because I felt the same way now I know I'm allergic to her I went back one hoover to many I get nauseated even thinking about her
@@iamresilient341 it is a shame I've been in plenty of stressful situations in my life and handled myself because I knew what I was dealing with but with her it took me years and only Copt on when I read up on narcissiam it takes its toll and its a shock to the system when you find out it was a sick game
@@dub1951 It is sad. Grieve the relatioship, feel the pain and then move on. Allow healing to take place.
The narcissist is like a ROBOT...No feeling, no emotion. Run from them!!!!
Their manual is preety redundant
Narcissist in particular don't come back because they changed and appreciate you all of a sudden.
They come back for supply, your unearned/ non reciprocal care and affection.
They come back because they can't stand being on their own lackluster company.
They come back to manipulate you and fill their void of insecurity.
They come back to show you their greatness.
The come back because they are shallow people who only know how to perform and they need an audience.
They come back because they lack options, because being single isn't a good look in their book.
They come back acting entitled to a human accessory by their side that would add value to their image.
They come back to treat you as a convenience, not a human being.
They come back in disbelief you're doing better without them.
They come back to confirm they can still have you.
They come back because of them, not because of you.
They come because they need you, not because they love you and they'll still think they're doing you a favor.
That’s exactly the right way to say it: I gave them unearned and unreciprocated love.😢
I need to read this list daily! Thank you for these harsh truths 🙏🏿
@@victoriayebuga3097❤❤I was gonna type the same comment 😅 yes ds List will be A reminder as Journal for us 😊
There are 3 reasons they come back.
Supply.
Supply.
Supply.
supply!
And MORE SUPPLY!!!
They want supply
😂
I call it "Self Esteem Juice."
My narc contacted me after a year absence. I found out that he was actually married. So when he texted me I said to say hello to his wife. He seemed shocked and said “you are a f***ing nut” then he blocked me. Lol what an idiot,
Excellent 🤣🤣 That's exactly what I would have done too and he would have denied it. Just as he denied the existence of his kids and who their mother is although I had their birth certificates in my hand, unbeknown to him. Bare-faced lying straight in my face 😒 😐 🙄
The audacity 😩
😂😂😂😂😂
They are a waste of your time and energy, stay no contact for your peace🙅.
My x nearly destroyed me she couldnt understand how much she hurt me as a human being ...she had no emphaphy no feeling ..it was all about her
Thats how disgusting they are.
I feel you man
Agreed. I've got my own. Beautiful, broken, narcissist wife. She breaks my heart every day then somehow, I stick around.
@@paulreints2279I know exactly how you feel. I was with a beautiful young narc woman and it was the breakup make up cycle for 3 months and then she started blaming for everything wrong in her life. And she would always lure me back and every time we would break up I would beat myself up hoping I would get another chance to fix it the next time. Not say something or do something that would cause her to push me away. All of my friends kept saying move on and I never listened until a few days ago when I woke up and recognized that something wasn’t right. I haven’t had contact for 3 days but it’s been miserable because all I want to do is hear from her or have her ask me to come over. I’m trying to stay strong.
Yep mines beautiful but very insecure. Asked her to marry me. She said yes. Then she vanished day after. Not heard anything since. I've kept the door open for her as I'm a doormat😢
I had to comment! Mine is just THAT nosey and the need to control is overwhelming! So, he has to know what I am doing. GO NO CONTACT. STAY NO CONTACT. DON'T FALL FOR ANY MORE LIES.
very well put! now I have a better understanding. as an empath it took me a while to try to understand how someone could be so cruel “to someone they cared about” why they treated me the way they did and had no sympathy nor ever decided to give any apology. I now understand that they never cared and that it has everything to do with THEM and not me. they are VERY miserable human beings. no one should deserve to go through this. I am no longer a part of them and I thank God for it!!
In my younger years, I disregarded the toxicity these people had. I concentrated on the entertainment part. The charm they use to draw you into their sticky web. I was an easy target. An obvious one. This video explains very well how the relationship works. Eventually I began to recognize the narcs and understand their game. The narc who tries to hook up with you again is pathetic and desperate. It would be comical if it weren't so sad. Once you set a boundary with a narc, maintain it in a calm, deliberate way. It's like a catharsis. You are free to fly!
The worst thing you can do is have children with this type of person.
Touché
So well explained, thank you 🙏 Narcissist have no regard, respect, honesty. They are crazy! I finally managed to get away after 9 years of turbulence! Never 👎 again
Yes! They say the damnedest things. As if empaths will simply fall for it without questioning. What worked for them initially won't work a second time if you maintain your boundaries. Otherwise it's on again, off again and nauseum.
These videos really make sense I have taken my husband back twice after discards and even after he filed for divorce I wanted to believe that he had realized our 27 years marriage was worth saving 10 months of love bombing then he flip his switch once again I stand up for my self so he filed for divorce and blames me he did I want to get my life back and love me since he doesn’t know what deep love is
My reality is he will never value our relationship so I’m ready to focus on my self I feel so much stronger and confident to move on and be alone with my dog who loves me unconditionally I am determined to be a survivor of narcissistic abuse
This is my life. 25 years of marriage …..over
I could have written this except I only went back once....my oldest son learned from his father .he has the same personality
Surprise-surprise...he's blocked me and hasn't spoken to me in over a year..couldn't even thank him for the favor..😊😊😊
My life also, 28 yrs. no contact is the key to redeem some control it’s hard but works. Good luck everyone. Xx
@@pamh2018 it's hard. My wife of five years is a textbook narcissist. Has done everything described in these videos. Time to move on, but she has a way of drawing me back daily. I keep dreaming she gets it & has really changed. Then she lies right to my face about stuff I have evidence of. Sad. Both her and I.
@@paulreints2279 sweetheart let her go it doesn’t do you any good they never ever change they only get worse. It’s hard to leave and I know my journey of recovery will be long as I was devoted to him and I’m still very much in love with him. But now I realise there is only me who can save me. Go ahead and forge a happier life for yourself and don’t look back. Xxxxxxxxx
Day 25 of no contact after he discarded me without any explanation. I blocked him on all communication platforms. He hasn’t tried anything and I doubt he’s hovering as I think he already had new supply. I wish the new supply luck and strength, he’s not my problem anymore and honestly I feel like myself again. The only thing that makes me sad is that he’d even let me build a relationship with his 10 year old daughter and we were so close. Reading the letters she wrote me breaks my heart and I miss her.
Mine just reached out 2 years after I dumped his ass...
@@nanfeminer446 I’m sure it feels so good to have been the one that left. I struggled for days with being the one that was left even though I felt like leaving him long before he left me. Either way I’m happy to be free of his toxicity and insanity.
Same exact situation here. I’m so heartbroken, but want better for my life. I have to stay strong
He used his kid to get to you.
Move on don't look back.
The next one will be so much better to you!
UPDATE: 2 weeks ago he tried to contact me. I didn’t respond to any messages and because he’s blocked his calls didn’t come through, I kept getting messages from the service provider that he’s trying to call. It felt so good. I just pray he doesn’t physically come to my home or workplace.
Yep. He openly told me ‘i suppose i do need some stability’. They are so open about it all - yet so very few hear it. Once we have been through it its like we are privy to a whole new language and its crystal clear 🙏🏼
Ya my hubby too told me when I revolted to his ways that it is his needs to have a woman connected with me for 24 hours otherwise he cannot survive . He is a totally dependent person and cannot imagine living on his own . I did not know what narcissism was about till recently , I could relate his behaviour to that of patriarchy , that axman has to be always higher than the woman in everything and all decisions are theirs and the woman should tone down to be subordinates and they should only give input but not make decisions . It has to be their way always . I am not supposed to do anything that shows me in more lime light than him , so I should keep a low profile . He should control my money , and I cannot buy any saving policy in my name alone . He wasn’t very smart in putting my name as the owner of all our property and making sure he aaa the nominee without who the primary owner cannot cannot have any right in it with out the nominee’s permit . So that way he would not take responsibility but wants to enjoy the ownership in disguise. He has been utterly mean .. no concern what so ever . He feels it was his right to get into extramarital to take revenge from me for having revolted in the relationship . So it has been a full movie of my life , that sure needs to be written down as a novel and then enacted into the movie
Yeah it’s CRAZY, because they will never admit it to anyone else
She openly told me:"I want 2 children with you, then I'll take them away" because:"if I hadn't met you, I still would have had my first child".
Simply listening changed my life I saw through my ex wifes B's and detached.
Sitting here numb at the accuracy of this description which perfectly mirrors my experience. The lack of empathy was profound, The need for validation and approval never-ending. Brilliant summary.
I’ve been through so much and identified every single issue! What madness
I pray he never comes back. I am afraid of what he might do.
If he comes back , RUN !.
RUN 🏃🏽♀️
@@BrendaBaBoom exactly. As far and fast as you can!
Press charges if they do return. Don’t be afraid to get law enforcements involved for your safety or well-being. Don’t ever be afraid to contact the authorities. Press every charge there is against that person that you can get processed.
@@loriderewitz7213same I cn understand I m drenched in adrenaline when this narc ex cl me
They will leave you for dead then tell everyone that you know just how awful a person you are, thanks for the post
Mine came back after a whole year, following the traditional cycle of love bombing, gaslighting, cheating, devaluation, never taking accountability. I was extremely hurt at first bc I thought I was in love and had found my soulmate but I ended up blocking him everywhere when he wouldn’t own up to his actions & I was just done being treated like crap. I asked myself why I was putting up with that when it was easy for me to find another man. It took me a while to get over him (a couple months) but I did end up moving on and finding somebody who treated me much better. Anyways A whole year later he ends up emailing me wishing to reconnect. No apology, no nothing. Just sliding back in the dms asking what went wrong and wanting to talk. I ended up ignoring it again and blocking his email. The audacity. Where was he when I needed him? Oh that’s right with the supply he cheated on me with. Never give these monsters a second chance. The cycle of abuse w them will NEVER end.
5 months ago ! İt was agust and she came back after 15 months later she is from different country when i met with her first in the hotel i liked her we had nice time she back to home maybe 2, weeks or 3, weeks she was talking with me even she said i wanna come back soon and said this time i will come! But she didnt and changed and she said i only care about myself ! And for no reason she deleted me on instagram and said instagram has problem please add me back but i didnt ! After that maybe 2 weeks she stalked my stroies ! And stop!
İ forgot her and 15 months later i dont know how she find me back and rememebered ! She send me messages like very sorry for the past what she did like forgive mec! İ was in schoked i said how can u remmeber me? And she said im Turkey im in the hotel and we met again everyday she was with me in my activty every night she was with me but later i learned she cheated there also and so many manipulatiosn ! Before she back to home she said next martch i will be back and everyday she started to text me but all about her always her problems! Always acting me and wanting my interest on her once a few times i blocked her but she always find me back ! And explaning but i didnt understand all is manupilations i was in love with her! And later she she started like im terrible like im nothing like im animal always excuses! İ get so mad i always cared even she was saying i care about you but i understood she always cheating and kidding with me because she knows i love her ! Always thinking herself she is smart she is beautifull! İ understood all she is narcist i said you are just fucking liar and gamer you just playing your game! She also said im reget but all was lie ! Then she stop with me i also stop texting and how she cut me and throw me out ! İ felt like im the worst person in the life i saw she has no feelings! No pity! 15 days more her sister stalked me ! And stopped 1 month later again her sister stalked me again !
Why her sister is watching me? İt was confusing me..
İ text her do you remember me? She said
Hey it will take time and you will get over it hope that you feel better atleast !
İ was in shock cuz i just asked do you remember me? İ said i see that you stalking me ! She said so relax im looking sometimes!
İ didnt say anything and next night also she watched again but why her sister! Anyway i didnt say anything !
And 10 more days passed her sister watched me again ! İ didnt say anything after 5 days later first time she herself watched my stroy ! İ was in schoked but i didnt say or write anything !
And stopped since 1 month and 24 january in yhe morning she agian herself watched my story ! How she remember me?
Why she is watching and stoping?
Why she is not talking?
And she stoped again and yesterday i coverd my page outside! So if she look again she will not see anymore!
But her sister was also herself i understood her ! So terrible game!
What i did to her ! Anything !
Will she come back again ?
My Narcissistic girlfriend also had a dangerous Narc daughter. Threatened my doctor and Real Estate broker with law suits. She told them when she got done their children would starve.
I watched her daughter murder her uncle in his last days of life. She couldn't wait to get money. The police didn't care. She poured oxys down his throat. I was in shock.
They all just use people for what people can do for them. Then throw them away like trash.
The stories get so insane no one believes them.
I felt like this while he was in my life. I would say to him that I’m disposable, I could feel it. There were no real emotions.
Right on point!!! Everything that I have dealt with for 5 years. It’s time to love myself. There’s been too much pain
same, five years with my narcissist wife. Time to free myself.
Stay strong!
Your explanation helped me so much. I never compared myself to a phone before but that is how they view us and hopefully he never calls me AGAIN!
I really thought I was that girl! He came back over and over and wouldn’t leave me alone! Now I realize that wasn’t a flex at all!! He was using me just like he was using a bunch of other women for his own personal gain. I know better now.
Narcissists see people as objects from which to extract supply. That's all.. They do not see human beings the way normal people do. No contact is essential. ANY response from us is supply. ANY, even tiny response.
It was always my fault!!! When I would react to her actions or lack of actions!!
Rascal Flatts
I'M MOVING ON!!!
Seriously is there anything more dangerous than a person without empathy? Murders lack this emotion its very very dangerous these empty shells
I so agree
Narcissists ARE monsters. Mine literally said he’d kill people if there were no repercussions
Yep. He told me I was nobody after being with him for six months and loved him at that point. It's all just a mind game for them
oh hell no! a narc that left me in jan just came back exactly as i was getting over em and cutting cords and doing all the hard work emotionally! i was hoping they'd stay away since i did NOT chase them when they left i just continued on with my life, but oh god no. my anxiety is back. this is my body telling me to leave.
My narc never came back after a thousand times of love bombing, then discarding, then love bombing for two years. The last correspondence was me telling him if there was nothing there for him (he disappeared for a month) then to just say it and I’d never reach out again. He never answered. It’s been two months. I felt like I died I was so hurt but I am finally starting to feel like myself again. I can now think he didn’t care about me and my heart doesn’t feel like it’s ripping apart. It’s turned into a dull sadness more than anguish.
I’m right there with you.
They will not give you an answer if you ask them if they want someone else. They never give closure
You're so damn right, Ma'am.
I know better now.
Thanks for helping with such accurate and enlightening information.
right, good of you to keep going over this issue, as it is surprisingly difficult to not get sucked in again, no matter how much you have suffered, and no matter how sure you are that "this time", you will stop it...
Great analogy with the phone! Very helpful for understanding why they try to come back.
Careful reading of her hoovering texts plainly reveals she has zero interest in my well-being, zero understanding of her role in making life miserable, but wants to exploit what I can do for her. Always, always, always everything is about her.
Months and years after she abandoned me, broke my heart over and over, out of the blue come texts like nothing ever happened. Hey, let's get together, OK?
"No, I don't want to do that. "
And immediately the old argument provoking response. "I can't imagine why!"
After 20 years .. nope. Not going there again.
Spot on. The cell phone analogy sums up their superficiality perfectly
Perhaps you can make a video about why a narcissist will never get help to change themselves.
I have learned that narcissists live with a low grade level of depression and this is what spurs them to find new sources to feed off of. Why would an individual that suffers not want too understand why they suffer and find possibly new and less destructive ways of getting their needs met. This part really does puzzle me. Thanks
They won't get help because they don't think anything is wrong and they don't want to change. They are perfectly content with themselves and actually have a very high regard for their false self....and they can't go anywhere near their real self which is what actually needs the therapy.
@@gypsyroseverrazzano1010 but if they suffer from a low grade depression which they can only escape by doing the crazy things they do wouldn’t they at some point get tired of being on that merry go round and not seek help?
I’m asking cause most people usually will look for a longer lasting solution rather than live such a draining existence. Thanks
@@richvail7551 No....they just get more extreme...and as they age, it gets worse. They cannot get anywhere near their real self because then they have to deal with all their shame and guilt and self loathing, which is the result of abuse/neglect/objectifying by a primary caregiver when they were growing up. It's not draining to them, it's normal.
@@richvail7551 the last one I met did go see shrinks but I doubt he really got the job done
I walked out on a narc husband. After that he would ask whether he may come over. Then he spoilt me just in order for me allowing him to come over. No sleepover. He always asked what do I need...Any groceries. even dogfood. So we ended up like now and then friends. Whenever he became nasty,I asked him to leave. After a week or two, he would ask may he visit? He became very ill and I cared for him till he passed. He left a good inheritance to me. So this narc story had a better ending.
Your videos are so analytical. They really help.
He never loved anything about me he would instead say, “I love the way you make me feel”.
Yea it’s transactional for them. Everything leads back up to their mood, happiness, and how they interpret things. It’s all about them. They’ll even make you feel bad if you come to them about your personal struggles or issues, it’ll always reverse back to them. Everything is about them their needs and wants. It’s a one sided narrative false relationship with absolutely no loyalty or commitment that’s why will abandon their partners.
They love the control and ego boosting
Thank you for educating me about Narcs they are so unpredictable!
Narc are predictable they do the same thing.
They’re actually very predictable. They live out the same cycle all the time, educate more on the disorder 💕
@@faceofglam thank you...yes Im still trying to understand how someone can make you fall inlove and then want to destroy you...
@Of the Refrain thank you ...all I did was give to the kindness of my heart...whatever he asked of I gived him...and all he did was lie an manipulate to gain his needs...using the word 'I love you' still wonder if he cared at all...
@Of the Refrain will continue to educate myself...🙏💕theres good days and bad...but seeing that Im not alone and how people cope and learn to heal is a great start...hopefully I will learn from my mistake...
Spot on,souless bottomless pits
I'm a fool for pain. Over 7 years and I still keep asking for more. I have serious issues
shes not coming back cause she knows i know.
They are a breed all of their own!
I got my FIRST Hoover after a 4 week discard I responded with grey rock and gave her a 1 word response..
Thank u for all your readings.. sets us free!! Much love and happiness!!
Great synopsis! I had a 40 year friendship w/ a narcissist. Once I understand what a narcissist was I began to trend her behavior. I fully understood what was happening but I allowed the friendship to continue because of the longevity. I had an awakening incident with her six months ago and it was a watershed moment for me. I realized the friendship must end...not w/ malice but with a clear understanding that our pathologies could not co-exist any longer. Of course, she did not understand and made light of the incident but I said my peace to her and tried to end it in a nice way. I have since blocked her on my phone and all social media. It been a journey of grief and empowerment for me. I am in therapy and it has helped as well as just giving it time. She recently tried to contact me through a friend. I will stay strong and confident in my decision. I wish her and her family the very best as I'm sure she does mine. Sometimes friendships must end for a myriad of reasons.
Four years of no contact and he pops up in my spam folder- berating me for going no contact. So toxic and distorted.
They only love you if you could support them or offer their needs…. So shameful & wrong
I wish I had all this knowledge when I took my narc husband back after 4 years apart whilst he was with another women. I took him back for another 4 years of hell and he decided to have another affair and leave me high and dry with his debts. I am in the process of losing my home. Soo learned a hard lesson for life
Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together
Whatsapp him now
Suzanne Harkin I'm praying for you and your family .....I felt all of that.
I’m sorry to hear this but they “Hoover” back into your life to wheel you back in or to use you. That’s all they don’t have love or respect or empathy towards the person they hurt. They don’t even care about you once you come back together with them.
Either they reach out because their new fling didn’t workout or they reached extreme debts or they’re looking to sleep together to use you basically. Don’t ever let no in Hoover you back in that’s a narcissist. Imagine after 4 years you come back to an ex? Lmao. Don’t ever return.
Bless your heart Anoushka
I had a panic attack and she didn't even care, I'm glad its over. its hurts because I thought she really cared, but now that I know she doesn't, I'm glad she's gone. I never wanna date again
If you caused "mortification" (injury), they will not come back! If you called them out and caused a great amount of shame they will NOT come back!! My experience!!
Loved the simplicity of the breakdown in this video. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks again for all your great, wise. Sincere free advice!! Keep up your amazing work.
I think I heard at least 4 reasons… 1. get needs met 2. Object permanence 3. They have no empathy 4. Confident you willl take them back. A short recap would have been nice…
WOWZERS!! You've just described the relationship/broken relationship with my husband. It's so freakishly accurate
lack of empath , superficial ، impulsivity and supply are Reasons for the narcissist's return to you ..
narcissist always convincing himself of many things that justify his impulsivity , meets his needs and corresponds his fantasy world .
My husband got a younger woman pregnant while he wanted a “trial separation”. Until he knew she was pregnant he kept trying to work on us while I thought we were still monogamous.
When I found out about her and then the pregnancy much later it really messed me up.
But as I heal and undo all the damage he caused to my psyche and confidence, I realize it’s a good thing.
He knows I will never tolerate being with a man with a baby from an affair.
I could not spend the rest of my life with the constant reminder.
That alone is enough to make me immune to any of his attempts for reconciliation.
Thank you Anoushka for this video. ✌️Peace, Love and Light 😊💖🙏.
I use the phone analogy as well but I say a narcissist treats you like a phone, when the latest model comes out they sell you off and get the new one.. you’re an object.
Coincidentally and oddly enough I ran into my ex Narc almost a year to the day of our break up while walking my dog. We played catch up. He went back to his life just as it was before he met me. Same friends same routine same everything. He showed me a text between him and one of my neighbors where they were both bashing me. He made reference to some texts I sent him after our break up where he accused me of giving him an STD. I gave him a verbal beat down and beat his ego like a pinata out of anger. He was the perpetrator turned victim. I said things to him to make him not ever want to return to me. But he's cleverly flipped the script telling everybody that I'm crazy and he doesn't want anything to do with me. Despite me rejecting all his Hoover attempts and threatening to show how he kept constantly reaching out to me via text messages. I was on the verge of getting a restraining order against this person.
Love is transactional. The way we love our phones is the same as we love People. It's backed up by give and take.
My son was getting over his Narc of a girlfriend, he got his own hone happy again Untill she has decided she doesn't like him being happy 😢😢😢
😥
These videos are very helpful. Thank you, for helping make sense of this.
They wont come back and if they actually do, never accept em. Just move forward and upgrade for a better person worth you. Time heals the wounds and just make sure to work on yourself.
I hate to think like this, even if it's the case. But you're correct. Thank you.
Thank you, u r very good and your talk helped me alot about where I am at this moment in time with an ex trying to come back!!
This is soooo good. Thank you for cutting thru the crap.
Now I know why he said someone has to give in.
DS IS LIFE CHANGING LIFE SAVING INFORMATION THANK YOU SO MUCH DEAR ANOUSHKA 🤗🌹🌹🌹🌹❤❤❤❤💥💥💥💥
Great stuff. Thank you
Truly when I first read about a Human Being seeing another Human being as an Object. think it was 7 months ago. It was the first time in my life 62 years old. I couldn’t Panthom that. It is unthinkable, beyond subhuman. I had to sit and think how is this humanly possible. The Rearing? Plus more. NPD is a horrible disconnection to reality.
Their friends and family are seeing through the BS Shenanigans....save their own face. Use your presence to provide from you what you can do for them...not to care for your wellbeing
Excellent! Spot on!
Object constancy is a used term in psychology, and does refer to everybody. It has nothing to do with narcissists' treating you as objects (which they do, but here this term does not apply), it is about the inner safety that ideally should develop in everybody in early childhood, meaning that even if an important person is not there physically, they still exist, they will come back, they will not abandon them. The simplest example: if the mother leaves the room, the baby becomes tense as they do not have object constancy yet, they subconsciously are terrified that the mother disappeared. A 3 year-old, however, ideally has object constancy developed to a certain level, therefore if the mother "disappears" for a while (the toddler is left in daycare, for instance), they are aware that she still exists, and she will return to pick them up. THAT is object constancy.
My narcissist ex texted me after days saying hey and straight i said bye and blocked her .NOT GONNA FALL FOR THAT PERSON EVRR AGAIN
The reality check that hits them when i dont come back lmao to give them any sort of opening... will be a good one.
the worst narcissist in my life..my adult son (37) ..I am NC with him and my X husband..bubble burst..quit lying to myself..no more being a pretzel...one nervous breakdown is enough..finally free..living my best life..shame and blame..gone..choices have been made by all..
You sound like a narcissist
Very informative. Thanks for sharing.
When you were with them. You lived w someone who used excessive fantasy and alternate reality.
Coming back should not be an option if you have done NO CONTACT PROPERLY
DELETE EVERYTHING CHANGE NUMBERS MOVE PHYSICAL IF YOU. Don’t give them any way to come back. Look 👀 them straight in the eyes and say F K OFF
Perfect. I need this one
I like the things your are saying, but my question is, "Why do they gang stalk you after you've ended the entanglement?" What is the purpose of them keeping track of your whereabouts?
My x narcissist is literally still stalking me after 2 years of no contact from me ( many attempts from her ) after she did her best to ruin me when she left ( I clearly and repeatedly warned her) 13 years of giving all my time effort and money to her and her 3 kids from 2 fathers and she actually blurted out she hated me to gaslight me. Now she begging and trying everything to get me to respond.
Narcissistic injury. They become obsessed with you after you discard them before they have the chance to replace and discard you. And they can't get you out if the fantasy world (their head), unless they can destroy or kill you (malignant narcissist). That's what she didnt mention.
That’s where you get the law involved. I threatened my ex with the law if he comes any where near me and I will get licensed to carry a concealed weapon. I don’t mind taking out charges for assaults, stalking, and harassment. I told them if they ever showed up at my home or work place I will have 911 on speed dial.
Mine walk I guess a year ago. She never gave closure. The last thing I couldn’t provide her when I was going to see her. Apple laptop pro. “ I’ll pay you back”. That was the cost of admission. A computer. I didn’t have the 2k. And myself slid into depression and she walked. I’m in nyc shed lives in brasil. 63 yrs old. I’m 60 and put up with a lot. She’s had my replacement a few months. I wonder if she will Hoover? I went silent. On new years.
Everyone wants there needs met. That's a relationship. You give a little you take a little? Right? Or are empaths just SO perfect they need Nothing?
Thank you, you do help a lot 😘
You helped me alot...thank you‼️
Thanks so much!
One narc told me he liked his new relationship because it was consistent and because she could do things for him. Um swoon! 🤮
Hoovering is part of their cycle.
Yes . When he come back I’m always accept . Well I love him I thought about it . If I didn’t except we are over .but once I accept and he had other girl so I let him go … it’s half he’s ego . He put relationship change the name to other girl. So I can’t do anything . But no contact one month . He came back . I think this leaps happen . I’m deal with it . Cause I still love him .
You are the best 🎉
My ex narcosociopathic friend and wannabe horse trainer and I are unfortunately stuck at the same barn where she dared to try to snake charm her way back into my life as of this morning and was shown the door. I’m so done! She acts like she’s the most wonderful thing ever to walk the earth and thinks that she can keep me in her little box and that I’m just going to cave in like I did before. Then there’s the gaslighting act where she discusses me in my presence to my friends and hijacking’ a conversation that didn’t include her at all and starts with the I’m only doing it for your safety act . She isn’t doing anything for me except pissing me off and totally ruining my morning.
Great explanation! Thank you!♥️😊✅🌹🙏🏻
thank you. this is very helpful.
I was hesitant to put my ex in the narcissist category. However after two breakups (her choice) she got into long distance rebounds quickly both times. She monkey branched back to me both times, love bombed me both times, then came the devaluation and discard both times. Now after therapy, l can safely say l was in a relationship with a narcissist. She's off repeating the same pattern.
You are soo right on! I just subscribed...👍
I’ve posted on several of your videos detailing my struggles, and after watching this, I’m thinking, will he really be back? I mean, I walked away from him twice before and stupidly (I was trauma bonded) allowed him back in. This time he just unceremoniously ghosted me, and I saw it as a blessing in disguise. I feel the trauma bond is broken. I’m still very hurt and miss him, but I’m over it all and I don’t want any more to do with him. I’d rather heal than return. But he must know that ghosting me would be final, right? I mean, could anyone be stupid enough to think there is any chance of coming back after that? He knows I won’t buy his lies anymore. Couldn’t this be final? I just want to heal and move on and not deal with this anymore.