@@WyvernYT Absolutely! I believe that Joe Biden will win by a sizable amount of votes. Social media is just out of control in almost every way possible. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Unlike Cannon or Cannot. She has egregiously offered the craziest “what ifs” in the world. This so called judge needs a little comeuppance come judgement day or in the next week or so ~
At the end, Louis and the band look like they're on seventh heaven. They have the greatest job and they appreciate it! I appreciate their awesome music.
beware cohen liar con man coverup now spotted as trusted status? boy are we stupid and fickle are we as a social media consumer. Always in late love and truth.
@@j.dunlop8295 okay dude, that's at least three copies of the exact same comment. It was good once... but don't try to make this your fifteen minutes of fame.
I wish in the news they had to disclose how a poll was conducted. Are they calling landlines south of the Mason Dixon line? Cell phones? What are the demographics? Who answers unknown calls on their cell phones?
News broadcasts don't have time for a full explanation. However, you can do it just by using a web browser. Took me less than 30 seconds. BTW RDD is random digit dialing. maristpoll.marist.edu/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/NPR_PBS-NewsHour_Marist-Poll_USA-NOS-and-Tables_202403291554.pdf
Yeah that is a problem with polling, most of it is still conducted via landlines if I’m remembering correctly, and what isn’t has trouble with younger people, due to the fact that if we’re not expecting a call, and we don’t recognize the number, we don’t answer
If polls were correct, HRC would have been president. I’ll not answer a poll/survey again until America has dumped Trump. Let marketers/prognosticators wilt on their channels. Horoscopes have a better success rate lately.
Yeah, but unlike CERVESA CRISTAL!... ahem, unlike Cervesa Cristal, Bud Light is likely paying. At least, I assume they were, since there was no joke at BL's expense and BL Lime isn't equivalent to aguardiente.
"Aguardiente" literally translates to "burning water". In Chile, instead of dinner we have a sort of expanded tea time call "onze" ("eleven", not to be confused with "elevenses"). Why eleven? Because back in the olden days, it wasn't polite to drink in front of the ladyfolk, so the men would excuse themselves to go for "eleven", the number of letters in "aguardiente".
Greetings from Eugene Oregon I have been to that store, long time ago. So strange to see Eugene being talked about by Stephen. We never make national news.
@@pintpot that championship was such a disappointment. I worked at two different popular tourist spots in Eugene at the time, and we were expecting all these people to show up- bupkis! Everywhere was even more dead than usual because even locals stayed home too, avoiding the crowds that weren’t.
@@pintpot Thank you! That means a lot coming from someone living in Singapore (I mean, talk about beautiful). I'm, personally, very proud of our little city. ❤
Forget the toilet. At my work building, someone strolled in with a wheel cart, loaded up our vending machine, and strolled right out in front of 3 deputies. Brazen as all get out - stole our vending machine 😂
“The biggest threat to America today is not communism, it’s moving America toward a fascist theocracy, and everything that’s happened during the Reagan administration is steering us right down that pipe.” - Frank Zappa, 1986
Too right, damn liberals (and I mean liberals not leftists get it right) are literally sleepwalking into a fascist theocracy because of their devotion to civility and their sycophancy for Capitalism as a system, the rime for civility is over, either we stand here or they smother us in our sleep.
I still can’t get over that saw barreling down the street only to wedge itself right where that very lucky guy was just seconds earlier. Totally insane!
Aquardiente is the national alcoholic happy juice of Venezuela and Colombia It has a licorice/ Sambuca taste and a few whole coffee beans are sometimes added for extra zippity do da !!😂 Yeah get some It will also help your sticker peck out 😮😊
@@RobBanks93 OJ’s jury was just fine. So are the special purpose grand jury members who spoke out against Rump in GA. It’s not fair that everyone around him has to alter their behavior just to accommodate him. Instead of locking his ass up for the threats he’s inciting like anyone else would’ve been a long time ago!
I wrote a report to the court about a man who shoplifted a CANOE! The security guard held the door open for when he left. Just as heads were about to roll he came back. Not to return the canoe in some fit of conscience. He CAME BACK FOR THE OARS!!!
From the outside (Europe, here) it seems so unbelievably crazy that this election could be even vaguely close.
“United” indeed.
American here. Believe me when we say we think it's insane too. I don't think it will end up being that close, myself.
America is slipping into stark, raving madness, my friend 😢
There are a lot of loud crazies on the internet trying to make it look close.
@@WyvernYT Absolutely! I believe that Joe Biden will win by a sizable amount of votes. Social media is just out of control in almost every way possible.
💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Finally a real Judge with integrity and ethics that follows the law.
AMEN.
@@marjoriegarland2798 no, that shit is anti-law. Religion out of reality now!
Unlike Cannon or Cannot. She has egregiously offered the craziest “what ifs” in the world. This so called judge needs a little comeuppance come judgement day or in the next week or so ~
I hope Stormy winks and smiles at Donny during the trial.
lol, or waves a little mushroom fan…
Trump derangement syndrome is crazy you guys really be fantasizing😂
@@jeromesullivan4015😄😄😄😄😄
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
she should bring a little 3” potted mushroom to the trial with her.
At the end, Louis and the band look like they're on seventh heaven. They have the greatest job and they appreciate it! I appreciate their awesome music.
Gotta love the Militant Centrists. “Give me liberty, Or give me something else!”
The truth shall set us free!!!❤️ Go Stormy! Go Michael Cohen!
what about karen mcdogal?
beware cohen liar con man coverup now spotted as trusted status? boy are we stupid and fickle are we as a social media consumer. Always in late love and truth.
@@honpot2016 Spelled it incorrectly. Please try again.
TRUMP 2024
@@silentmajority8365 You should change the avatar name name to "silentminority"".
Stormy' won't be intimidated and give great detail, it's her business, A Pro! You go, Girl....
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
@@j.dunlop8295 okay dude, that's at least three copies of the exact same comment. It was good once... but don't try to make this your fifteen minutes of fame.
@@zedmelonNow I’m suddenly thinking it’s a bot after defending this statement earlier.
@@jeanneganrude8549 True, we've seen far less plausible happenings come to pass...
6:33
The alcohol bit... Would have been perfect to throw in "cerveza Cristal!!"
I loved Louis Cato's on-stage cameo as his hologram tries to reach for his guitar. Tim Cook!! 😂
The Cerveza Cristal joke opportunity was right there! 😭
Not gonna lie, I was half expecting it.
“April trials brings smiles”❤
😅😅😅
That bud light lime was such a missed opportunity for a callback to Cerveza Cristal!
I thought the same thing lol
I know right
Tbh, I was really disappointed they missed that one.
Came here for this comment
The fakeout
I wish in the news they had to disclose how a poll was conducted. Are they calling landlines south of the Mason Dixon line? Cell phones? What are the demographics? Who answers unknown calls on their cell phones?
News broadcasts don't have time for a full explanation. However, you can do it just by using a web browser. Took me less than 30 seconds. BTW RDD is random digit dialing. maristpoll.marist.edu/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/NPR_PBS-NewsHour_Marist-Poll_USA-NOS-and-Tables_202403291554.pdf
Yeah that is a problem with polling, most of it is still conducted via landlines if I’m remembering correctly, and what isn’t has trouble with younger people, due to the fact that if we’re not expecting a call, and we don’t recognize the number, we don’t answer
@@justintaylor1713I’m 72 and I don’t answer unknown phone callers! I can’t be the only old person doing that?
@silverhooligan
Poll respondents are mostly lonely retirees, eyes glazed by the light on a flickering TV.
If polls were correct, HRC would have been president. I’ll not answer a poll/survey again until America has dumped Trump. Let marketers/prognosticators wilt on their channels. Horoscopes have a better success rate lately.
"get back to 69ing Vermont" was some good writing. Hilarious.
6:24
I was 100% expecting CERVESA CRISTAL
Right?? Totally missed opportunity!
Yes!
Wait...what is this?
@@kylehd7its… CERVESA CRISTAL!
Yeah, but unlike CERVESA CRISTAL!... ahem, unlike Cervesa Cristal, Bud Light is likely paying. At least, I assume they were, since there was no joke at BL's expense and BL Lime isn't equivalent to aguardiente.
April trials brings me smiles😂
I've been saying "April snow brings may flowers" because it's snowed at least twice since April 1st. It hasn't stuck, but there have been flakes.
that smile will turn to a frown. hes gunna win and then just pardon himself
Great line!
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
😁 Great line!!! 🎉 😂
A gold toilet is missing? 🤔🤔 Has anyone searched Mar A Lago?? 😂
think thats more a trumptower thing!
That was my first thought as well. But mho may be right... I think that's more tower than club.
😂😂😂
Check under thst big pile of boxes marked top secret.
My first thought!
Also has anyone checked the crime scene for discarded documents or Big Mac wrappers that wouldn't flush?
(even after 15 tries) 😳
Normally I hate April 15th (tax day), but this year is a different story. Now where is my popcorn?
And beer
God bless Brian, such a wholesome comedic relief. And that’s saying something with Stephen Colbert there ❤
Well damn. I would be appalled by a poll asking if AMERICANS would consider violence to solve problems. But I live here. Nothing shocking about that.
That saw blade is straight out of final destination.
😂😂 imagine the guy having just saw the movie going in the door thinking "I just can't take any more scares right now"
Is odd..but it wouldn't kill him , a saw at that speed would just bounce off . Injure him slightly ?yes, kill or saw him in half? , no
@@jlbueno0611Tell that to the door.
you beat me to it,how crazy was that!!?
@@jlbueno0611 ok let's try that theory on you
Don’t f this up America get that man in prison now.
hunter?
christian nationalists. we can deal with druggies and oldness after. priorities.@@kane-vn6bn
Trump needs to go to jail already my God
@@kane-vn6bn yes if Connor committed a crime sure put him in jail
@@markkrull556he's been getting caught in crimes for years now 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
88 charges? He has a charge for every key on a piano.
Nice catch 🙂
Ebony
And Ivory
There is one key for every
Felony...
lol
Noice!
@@grumpydave7329 Superb
That was my old badge number. He can't have that!
That "Darn you Tim Cook!" Almost was lost on me.
But who is Tim Cook? Thought his name was 🍎 Tim Apple! 😂
5:35 I was really expecting there to be a joke here about our presidential candidates being the contenders for the oldest living man.
Same!
Yeah! Luis got some more screen time, AND SMASHED IT! I LOVE THIS SHOW, AND THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY SOUL!
They live that long because they have a nice, comfortable place to live and a loving family that takes care of them.
I love how Colbert endorsing the simple concept of nonviolence gets applause. Like it's some noble and novel idea or something to aspire to XD
*Nonviolence is non-effective against fascists.*
Lately there's not enough "taking the high road" in the news. We're starved for even the slightest indication of it.
@@zedmelon Agreed, Rump has irreparably degraded human civilization
Followed by "4 on 1 - we can take these guys!"
A truly great one liner.
I'll be thinking about that for a few weeks.
mostly peaceful???
"Aguardiente" literally translates to "burning water". In Chile, instead of dinner we have a sort of expanded tea time call "onze" ("eleven", not to be confused with "elevenses"). Why eleven? Because back in the olden days, it wasn't polite to drink in front of the ladyfolk, so the men would excuse themselves to go for "eleven", the number of letters in "aguardiente".
Thank you. That was interesting.
En serio? Here it's called Guaro. It is indeed burning water 😜 que asco
How would violence solve divisions?! 🤦🏼♂️
Stephen doesn't have a drinking problem. It goes down just fine.
I love you Stephen Colbert for making us laugh and telling about Trump.
I can’t wait to never hear about donnie drumpf ever again!
that will never happen dude. all this show does now is talk about trump and taylor swift. but you're right, its getting old
amen
You got that right
@@mikehennessy6766 > _it's getting old_
Nice callback to the "oldest man alive" segment.
Trump's father lived into his 90s. It could be a while.
"Oh, Stormy, oh, Stormy
Bring back that sunny day" - Classics IV
Greetings from Eugene Oregon
I have been to that store, long time ago. So strange to see Eugene being talked about by Stephen. We never make national news.
Same here! That clip horrified me, though; what a way to make the news.
You had the World Athletics Championships just 2 years ago. I watched every moment of it from here in Singapore. Thank you. You have a beautiful city.
@@pintpot that championship was such a disappointment. I worked at two different popular tourist spots in Eugene at the time, and we were expecting all these people to show up- bupkis! Everywhere was even more dead than usual because even locals stayed home too, avoiding the crowds that weren’t.
@@pintpot Thank you! That means a lot coming from someone living in Singapore (I mean, talk about beautiful). I'm, personally, very proud of our little city. ❤
RIP Juan Vicente Bismora. Meanwhile (as Craig Ferguson noted), the curse of the world's oldest man continues......
I laughed more at your Comment than any of the late night hosts on UA-cam this morning!! 😆
I can't believe you're about my city, Eugene, Oregon!❤
I know, I live in Eugene too.
Lived there awhile back, such a great city back then.
But... KGW 8 is Portland station, not Eugene, right?
@@rockyfennell Yes, I caught that error as well. KGW is Portland and KEZI is Eugene.
KLCC! That dude’s comment was perfectly Eugene too. 😎 😂
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, This made me so happy! I liked and subscribed!
Yes, they say "April showers bring May flowers." But you know what Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims. Just ask the Natives how that turned out...
that is quite a cool segue
Bottle whistle was dead on!! Good job colbert!!
Thank you for always making me smile 💪🙏
Cobert is a GEM
💎 ‼️
Forget the toilet. At my work building, someone strolled in with a wheel cart, loaded up our vending machine, and strolled right out in front of 3 deputies. Brazen as all get out - stole our vending machine 😂
That poor woman didn't get paid enough.
Stormy should sue for PTSD 😊
Can we all sue
“The biggest threat to America today is not communism, it’s moving America toward a fascist theocracy, and everything that’s happened during the Reagan administration is steering us right down that pipe.”
- Frank Zappa, 1986
Too right, damn liberals (and I mean liberals not leftists get it right) are literally sleepwalking into a fascist theocracy because of their devotion to civility and their sycophancy for Capitalism as a system, the rime for civility is over, either we stand here or they smother us in our sleep.
Frank was one of the most witty characters in history.
As far as I'm concerned, Reagan is THE moment when EVERYTHING went horribly wrong!
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
And brilliant. @@ObviouslyProductions
Great line Louis Cato 🤣🤣🤣
You know that someone is a genuinely nice dude when he even doesn't know how to properly scream with anger ❤
Yeah this guy was on Epstein's Island...
And sure you're going to try to play what about ism.
But what was he doing there? Take a wild guess
''Sixty-Nining Vermont'' is probably the most clever joke i've ever heard Colbert tell.
Hope this trial puts him in jail
Don't hold your breath.
Listening to Donnie always sparks a sense of wonder... such as wondering how the late night hosts will mock him mercilessly!
Rest in Peace to the world's oldest man who lived to be 114 years old 🕊️😢
Stephen is cheating on Cerveza Cristal
And RIP to Gisaburo Sonobe who inherited the oldest man award for a day or two.
This past week a 102 year old Pearl Harbor vet died. He was the LAST survivor of the USS Arizona. 🇺🇸
I read this...WoW ❤
@@SayAhh He missed a golden opportunity there - his writers dropped the ball.
"...they're very different." Truth.
Violence is division at its paramount.
I still can’t get over that saw barreling down the street only to wedge itself right where that very lucky guy was just seconds earlier. Totally insane!
Crazy to see that, OMG
And the way it Skipped Across the
Parking Lot...just WoW...😮😅
Had I been him, I’d have bought a lottery ticket right then. His luck was SCREAMING at him ~
That saw blade would not have come loose if that guy had just gotten on the plane and sat in his assigned seat.
If my pants weren't brown before that (if it were me), then they definitely would have been afterward
Brian Stack is the best! Loved him on Conan! Love him here!
"He tries. He's well-meaning"
That saw looked like it was auditioning for Final Destination 😨
A new Final Destination movie may be on the horizon!
I really expected to see Tony Todd in the parking lot.
Gotta always gets me my Colbert giggles 🤭 ❤
“Violence-
Violence-
Is it the only thing
that will make you see sense?”-Mott the Hoople
Four-foot circular saw rips across parking lot and drives itself into convenience-store doorframe. Ten seconds later it's followed by Thor's hammer.
Makes me So happy whenever Brian Stack is on.
What was the Brian Stack bit referencing?
Sounds like something Steve Buscemi has said in some film somewhere, but I can’t put my finger on it.
@@ChrisSamuel1729 Living In Oblivion maybe?
"BALLS" The first Judge to grow them will be a Hero! BALLS.
haha, true that!
Leftists lack testosterone...look at that nut judge in nyc
Libs lack balls
Violence is a problem, and never an answer.
“I need a beer, it’s 9 O’Clock, I’m not going to work today”
I hope that man took the best self care day possible.
"i need a beer.."9:00... " i'm not going to work today.. ".... LEGEND..
6:50-7:05.
That was some "Final Destination" shit!
"tim COOOOOK!"
bravo louis.
😹😹😹😹😹 5/5
"He's surfing in Nebraska." My favourite way to say that somebody's not the brightest. Could possibly apply to what's happening in Nebraska?
Thanks Stephen for your program, always very funny and spirit lifting while exposing the GOP and DT's horrible and disgusting actions! 👍👍👍
I'm an independent and i would fight for my freedom and democracy!!!
Instead of Bud Lite Lime, they could have gone with the "Cerveza Cristal"
Actually 6:30 where he blows the beer bottle with two perfect notes was quite amazing. You can hear the surprise of the musicians. Delightful.
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
Trump is going down like Don Jr on a fresh cut key of blow!!! 🙂
Yeah, let's see how JNR manages without his 'Mexican marching powder'... Unless he becomes a 'bitch' for one of the cartel... In prison.
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
#separationofchurchandstate @@j.dunlop8295
"April trials, brings me smiles!" I love it!😂😂😂
Aquardiente is the national alcoholic happy juice of Venezuela and Colombia It has a licorice/ Sambuca
taste and a few whole coffee beans are sometimes added for extra zippity do da !!😂
Yeah get some
It will also help your
sticker peck out 😮😊
Aguardiente is a shot drink, Stephen! No chugging!
Whoops...😂😂
How would trump know about about Nebraska's second district ? In real life he's never heard of that state. Who's behind the scenes?
Omaha is where Warren Buffet lives, so Trump would have heard of it as it is the home of an actual billionaire.
Bannon, Miller, Flynn?
Leo?
@@christianboehlefeld5168
I'm sure he thought Omaha was the near the village of Mutual.
I’d like to thank all three judges for allowing the prosecution of Donald Trump to proceed.
Yes- Merchant, Chutkin and Mcafee. Judge Cannon is a loose Cannon, corrupt Cannon
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
@@j.dunlop8295
Please share✨️💙😜🙏🏾😍
Say no to mushrooms 😎
Baby mushrooms never stand erect but always blow in the wind.
Between the runaway saw and the gold toilet, it feels like Meanwhile has invaded the monologue.
Love the show, u great dude, watching from my Sithole country in Africa (lol).
Brian Stack is a legend and one of the funniest people ever. Kids, go watch his stuff on Late Night with Conan.
His Martha Stewart impression is a favorite of mine
What was the Brian Stack bit referencing? Sounds like something Steve Buscemi has said in some film somewhere, but I can’t put my finger on it.
Will Stormy bring a copy of Forbes magazine?
Why am I the ONLY one mad that Rump’s trials won’t be televised despite the American People being the victims of his crimes?!?
On the bright side, we don’t have hear his voice without vomiting or earplugs
Biggest class action case in history !
@@ss67camaronut where do u sign up?
I worry for the safety of jury members if they are televised.
@@RobBanks93 OJ’s jury was just fine. So are the special purpose grand jury members who spoke out against Rump in GA. It’s not fair that everyone around him has to alter their behavior just to accommodate him. Instead of locking his ass up for the threats he’s inciting like anyone else would’ve been a long time ago!
Eugene, Oregon, is a place where many citizens feel the need to have a beer at 9 AM. Some stay home from work, some don't.
That’s because they have to deal with the consequences of their Democrat government destroying their state.
Stephen, Love your Monologue! I can see Trump seeing it, and choking on a Chicken Wing!!!
YES!YES!!YES!!! :) U make me so happy. . Thank you for doing what you do ❤😊
Jeez get a hold of yourself weirdo
I wrote a report to the court about a man who shoplifted a CANOE! The security guard held the door open for when he left. Just as heads were about to roll he came back. Not to return the canoe in some fit of conscience. He CAME BACK FOR THE OARS!!!
When I was in my twenties, I worked for a department store that had two cockatoo shoplifted
@@cathywethington5913 Isn't that redundant?
Brian is always funny
Sawblade: Sorry 'bout that Chief! Missed him by _that_ much.
I love the Golden toilet joke!!!⭐️
As a person living in Thailand I appreciated the reference to Muay Thai!
I was hoping that the aguardiente was going to be Cerveza Cristal.
"You know what they say about Nebraska?"
"Who the fuck is talking about Nebraska??"
😂😂😂...
Yeah this whole concept's corny
This deserves 311 likes.
Method Man.
Aguardiente
Agua Ardiente
FIRE WATER lol
Again a strong show, thanks everybody!
Trump could steal the gold toilet with the "I came in with this!" excuse!
Except his were only plated. And the guy who made them for him made out like a fat NYC rat.
I love Brian Stack
Violence to solve political issues? I thought we were more civilized than that by now. 🤦♀️☹️
When some people treat your existence as political; violence is inevitable.
I thought so too, and then Rittenhouse was acquitted.
Nope…
Spot on honest and hysterical as always thanks!
Great work with the tough guy impression.