How to Help Someone with Depression - What Actually Helped Me!

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  • Опубліковано 13 лис 2017
  • Scott Ste Marie is a Mindfulness Practitioner, Coach and Mentor. Through his lived experience with depression and anxiety he has seen what is truly possible in recovery, healing, and living authentically. If you feel at ease and comfortable with the videos on this channel and Scott's approach to emotional and mental well-being, the resources below may be helpful to you.
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    Scott speaks across North America about emotional wellbeing, mental health and our innate need for connection. His history with mental health challenges have allowed him to develop a strong sense of empathy and compassion with his audiences and those he works with personally. Music is his true obsession as he plays the guitar, drums and sings.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 835

  • @dannyvexx
    @dannyvexx 6 років тому +948

    "You can't expect anything in return" i just want them to live trough it that's enough

    • @evieferbin2130
      @evieferbin2130 5 років тому +70

      It hurts so badly when they push you away for a long time

    • @monnnmendozaofficial6364
      @monnnmendozaofficial6364 5 років тому +25

      same. Just to survive is enough. not wanting anything in return

    • @marvinmendoza5771
      @marvinmendoza5771 4 роки тому +9

      @@evieferbin2130 It really hurts. Like destroying into small unrecoverable pieces. It really does.

    • @s0ftiebxtch504
      @s0ftiebxtch504 4 роки тому +8

      My friend has depression I’m trying to help but idk how

    • @emilyzambrano683
      @emilyzambrano683 4 роки тому +8

      Exactly, all I need in return is for them to keep being alive

  • @AndreaNicholls-pr2wd
    @AndreaNicholls-pr2wd 21 день тому +147

    I have been depressed for a long time, but after taking shrooms few months ago, l feel much happier and highly motivated and my ADHD gone , lost a ton of anxiousness and had a few epiphanies about how I should live my life. I decided to buy an ounce for backup, but haven’t yet felt the need to take any more since then.

    • @antoniojames5766
      @antoniojames5766 21 день тому

      I have autism, I was diagnosed with it when I was 15. I tried shrooms and it made me function so much better.

    • @gainwithmo2679
      @gainwithmo2679 21 день тому

      Eek I’m autistic too and might wanna try mushrooms. How do I go about it?

    • @antoniojames5766
      @antoniojames5766 21 день тому

      Yeah doc.brenttt is your guide. Man is exceptional with anything psychedelics.

    • @morganabigail1984
      @morganabigail1984 21 день тому

      Hello Can he be reached on IG?

    • @antoniojames5766
      @antoniojames5766 21 день тому

      Yes doc.Brentttt

  • @aaliyahloanjoe7690
    @aaliyahloanjoe7690 6 років тому +502

    He's saying the truth.
    Being there for a depressed person makes them feel for once that they aren't worthless.
    If they talk to you, *listen* . even if it is the awkwardest conversation ever. Just listen..oh and always give them a hug at last. It always helps.

    • @brett7071
      @brett7071 4 роки тому +7

      Aaliyah Lo A Njoe No conversation about depression is awkward it’s the most important part of understanding why they’re depressed, but I agree with everything else

    • @DustinAviation
      @DustinAviation 4 роки тому +3

      She hates hugs tho... and I'm a guy and she would be humiliated...

    • @borntodoit8744
      @borntodoit8744 4 роки тому +4

      Clinical depression is different from simple depression...
      Clinical I would imagine requires drugs because you literally can't speak or think or function.
      Simple depression is a deep form of sadness, you function you talk but you care for nothing except certain (hidden to you) things.
      Like the video says
      ...if say a depressed person needs loyalty..show them loyalty.
      .. Needs attention,or fun show them those.
      ...Needs support financial... give them that.
      It all depends what they are really wanting and not getting in life...you really can't judge a book by its cover, even the most outwardly social people are very depressed inside if being honest

    • @katebarker8410
      @katebarker8410 3 роки тому +4

      My son is 20 and won’t accept hugs. I don’t force it, but I wish there was some way I could comfort him.I feel like he is afraid to cry.💔

    • @aaliyahloanjoe7690
      @aaliyahloanjoe7690 3 роки тому +1

      @@brett7071 i didn't mean it in that way. As a depressed person myself i find it very awkward to open up and i also find it awkward when other people open up to me because i dont really know what to do except listening and give hugs. But yeah i didn't mean it in awkward as in "wth is she saying" if you kno what i mean

  • @shannonbeecroft4548
    @shannonbeecroft4548 6 років тому +233

    The person I love is depressed. I never expect anything back. I already knew I needed to be in their corner. I just needed something new to try and I started to look at many videos from "therapists" all saying the exact same thing that doesn't help. And I need something from a different perspective. So I'm thankful I found this video. It helped out a lot.

    • @lelabehr
      @lelabehr 4 роки тому +19

      I am the exact way. My bf has depression, and all I want to do is love him and help him.

    • @jennyoastory
      @jennyoastory 4 роки тому +3

      What can i do? My man is try to push me away he says my love make him hard to breath 😭

    • @blendabaunsit9110
      @blendabaunsit9110 3 місяці тому

      Hi, it would be an honor to help your partner. Seek suport from therapist one on one, we have a great program to help your partner get better.

  • @hleehlee650
    @hleehlee650 5 років тому +122

    My bf is in a really bad place, he sometimes ignores all my attempts at communication... recently I’ve been finding things hard but this video gave me the courage to continue to be there for him, after all I do love him regardless

    • @shaanxd23
      @shaanxd23 Рік тому +6

      Hey did u ever find out a way to pull him out of depression? Or did ur relationship end ?

    • @radhikaHOLK
      @radhikaHOLK 27 днів тому +1

      I'm in your same situation i hope I'll be able to help him

    • @crudomoda8777
      @crudomoda8777 21 день тому +1

      Hi sis I am also going through your same situation... remember you are not alone...I hope everything will be alright ❤

  • @piakiddo
    @piakiddo 6 років тому +279

    Your beautiful eyes, they look so sad and heavy in this video. Mine were the same today. I hate my Depression. But tomorrow's a new day :)

    • @NicoleEivissa
      @NicoleEivissa 5 років тому

      Pia Kiddo Hugs to you🤗 you matter and you’re gonna go throw this! ❤️

    • @livimoon5631
      @livimoon5631 4 роки тому

      Pia Kiddo Yes he has such beautiful sad eyes and very helpful video. I hope you feel better soon ❤ You deserve good things and happiness in life! Stay strong! ❤

    • @nicom4996
      @nicom4996 4 роки тому +2

      No. Love it. Because when you will get out of there you will see how its beautiful

    • @b-26lianhmingthanga32
      @b-26lianhmingthanga32 2 роки тому

      Yes , let's fight together

    • @NatalieCox-ie5sv
      @NatalieCox-ie5sv 4 місяці тому

      You can see it in the eyes. Just look and u will see in another person and try to help them as u truly understand.

  • @DanteGabriel-lx9bq
    @DanteGabriel-lx9bq 6 годин тому +1

    My mother has been struggling, and I'm feeling so helpless, but I own her my life, my glory, my happiness. I'm gonna tell her right now, I'm gonna tell her whatever happens. All our family struggles and problems I'm suffering with her, and her sacrifices have made a man's life, her son, and that THAT is for me, worth everything. I'd do anything for you, mom, If Wonder Woman exists, it's you. Thanks for giving me hope man, you're the best, and you going through your depression has inspired others to help them, too. I thank you sincerely. Thank you!

  • @luminousghosts
    @luminousghosts 2 роки тому +152

    As a depressed person with a partner who struggles with knowing how to help me -
    Thank you. To all of you trying to be there for someone in your life. I can't imagine how thankless and discouraging it must feel. Thank you! It means literally everything. Everything.

    • @yk6187
      @yk6187 Рік тому +1

      @spottedleaKitty what if the person is pushing you away or blocking you, you know they are suffering but dont want to make them angry?

    • @luminousghosts
      @luminousghosts Рік тому +3

      @@yk6187 for me it'd be helpful to have the partner show that they're there without pushing themselves on you. like say 'i know you're hurting and i'm here for you. you can talk to me if you want to but you don't have to'
      and hug them if they let you.
      That's obviously subjective, but i hope it helps!

    • @yk6187
      @yk6187 Рік тому

      @spottedleaKitty I did go and got pied on the face today travelled an hr. The father closed the door on me although he doesn't speak English and later he told me to let him me

    • @yk6187
      @yk6187 Рік тому +2

      Hard to not feel hurt just to love someone

    • @eyagupta
      @eyagupta 5 місяців тому

      How can i comfort my partner over text? Please help if you know!

  • @ElanaVital83
    @ElanaVital83 7 днів тому +4

    This is why dogs and cats are do great. They do everything in this video.

  • @glencairn99
    @glencairn99 5 років тому +75

    My girlfriend suffers, it’s so hard. I adore her, she’s my world and all I think about is her. She’s the same with me, but she’s always got this dark cloud following her. I’m here for her 24/7, I will do anything for her. I’m here to fight with her every day until I die, and I’ve told her all this and will continue to do so daily. We’re so happy together, it’s a dream.. if I could have a genie grant me one wish, it would be something I’d waste on myself.. I’d just wish that she’d be happy with herself. I love her with all my soul and I am here with her on every step of this journey. (I tell her all this, and I never expect anything in return - I’m just typing this out here for my own benefit because it’s so hard to keep your own head above the water and I just want to express my own feelings) thank you for the video, you’ve refilled my motivation cup and I cannot thank you enough

    • @jeffbex4323
      @jeffbex4323 2 роки тому +6

      I’m on the same journey with my wife. Thanks for your note. I feel the same way.

  • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
    @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU 6 місяців тому +2

    Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

  • @BongDocSam
    @BongDocSam 4 роки тому +76

    This man's video, the look in his eyes, the depth in his voice. I felt that intense urge. Probably this is that only video on internet, that made me feel so much in few minutes. Thank You. Thank you for making this video.

  • @elsielee7124
    @elsielee7124 4 роки тому +257

    What is the best way to "be there for them" if depression makes them to push their love ones away ?

    • @phantomking7246
      @phantomking7246 4 роки тому +71

      Just listen. Listen to them and be supportive and try to understand what they’re saying and ask them if there is anything you can do to help. Giving us support and just simply listening to us makes us feel like there is someone there for us. But don’t expect anything in return (sounds harsh but that’s just how it is sometime. We do appreciate the help and support tho)

    • @kelleyoneal2578
      @kelleyoneal2578 4 роки тому +5

      Songs to lift someone's spirits

    • @dreib5129
      @dreib5129 4 роки тому +66

      My person is pushing me away for almost two weeks now. Radio silence it is. I texted her that I am here if she wants to talk. I am praying ang hoping that i can give her a hug

    • @rockeyrhino872
      @rockeyrhino872 3 роки тому +2

      @@dreib5129 what did you do to help her later?

    • @dreib5129
      @dreib5129 3 роки тому +34

      @@rockeyrhino872 i am texting her everyday, one or two. Just reminding her that i am here for her, i am being ignired for weeks now. Lol. I really dont know if she already ghosted me or even worse block me. 😅 but i know that i didnt do anything wrong, i understand her that she needs space and i respect that. They said patience and understanding is needed.

  • @monsieurkd4060
    @monsieurkd4060 3 роки тому +22

    I've met a girl online and it's been months since we've started talking. We might have been just chatting online but I know that she is always feeling down because she told me a few days after we met. I've always been trying to help her since. There are times that she wouldn't respond to any of my messages for days but I always gives her messages morning, afternoon, and evening. She became okay for a while but she recently became depressed again. I've been keeping on sending her messages everyday in hopes that she'll feel loved even for just a short amount of time. I wanted to do more but I can't think of anything else to help her with.

  • @WENGErBaLL04-06
    @WENGErBaLL04-06 13 днів тому +3

    Jesus saved my life. Plain and simple. I was in the pits of depression, anxiety, into alcohol addiction that almost took my life.. He plucked me out, and restored me to good health mentality, physically and most importantly, spiritually. I can’t stress this enough guys, He is the Way. Honestly, honestly so grateful, and I wish everyone could have the opportunity to experience His transformative power and love.
    Keep praying family.🙏❤️❤️❤️

  • @HakanBacon
    @HakanBacon 4 роки тому +14

    My girlfriend sufferes and suffered from depression. I did what you said and I'm happy that I did the right thing from the get go. I don't know if I am enough though and that's the biggest problem I have. I can be there, but I can only do so much for her.
    I wish you all best of luck and have patience people. Patience and love is the key

    • @rarerana-ew3qg
      @rarerana-ew3qg 4 роки тому

      I think what you did and do is so much more Ryan enough for them, it means a lot.

  • @victoriac9884
    @victoriac9884 6 років тому +55

    I’ve been pretty low this past month and just listening to this made me cry. Everything he said is absolutely true. Friends get mad when I don’t respond or just stop talking to me. They don’t understand that I cannot think of a response or have the energy to come up with a response that isn’t going to be loaded with self pitty. I wish they wouldn’t stop talking to me. They just don’t know how much the persistence matters.

  • @hannahswift4985
    @hannahswift4985 3 місяці тому +4

    My brother is really low at the minute he’s had to be admitted to hospital and wish I could help him more.It’s so sad to see. I’ve got his back always ❤❤

  • @PizzaTime1983
    @PizzaTime1983 11 днів тому +1

    My friend is currently suffering through this. Sometimes, she won't even reply back. She will even admit that she's been distant. At least she wanted to call me last week? 😊Thanks for this video. As someone who was depressed for a decade, it hurts, but i had people to help, asking nothing in return. She's always saying thank you and stuff, but even if she didn't, it wouldn't really affect me. But i always check up on her every friday just to see how she's been. I ❤ her, and im not going to leave her, not like people have left me in the past. Whenever she needs me ill aways be there, ready to help howerer it takes. ❤😊

  • @nattycampos
    @nattycampos 6 років тому +198

    I've been watching your video for 2 min and I'm already crying because you're so right about the feeling of gratitude for those who helped you getting out of depression through love and acceptance. I can never stress enough how much it was important to me in the proccess of self healing. On the other hand, I'm now the one who wants to help somebody and the part of not expecting them to acknowleging it can be quite hard, but I owe this to the world. I love them so much not to try. Thank you for being the one who acknowledges it and makes us feel loved back.

    • @ashlystewart7727
      @ashlystewart7727 5 років тому +5

      I'm glad i'm not the only one who cried watching this!

    • @lelabehr
      @lelabehr 4 роки тому +3

      Your comment means so much to me, my bf has depression and never talks to me. He takes his anger out on my friends. But I know that it's not his fault and I want to be there for him even if I wasn't in the past. My friends tell me to break up with him, but I know I shouldn't.

    • @Lina-gc9vx
      @Lina-gc9vx 3 роки тому

      @Lela Behr Are you guys still together?

    • @anushka.prasoon7171
      @anushka.prasoon7171 Рік тому

      Same here ....I was crying continuously !! I just want to make her happy at any cost !!!

  • @Yeah-wt1mu
    @Yeah-wt1mu 5 років тому +49

    You’re right. I may not be here to help someone, but I clicked on this video to try to help myself. I agree with everything you said about how it feels to have someone there for you. But for me, that person doesn’t stay by my side. Yes, I have friends and family that I can talk to, I’m too scared to talk to them either because I don’t want them to judge me or worry about me. I’m not looking for likes or comments to help support me, I just want to say thank you to everyone who is trying to save that someone. God bless you :)

    • @euvu8395
      @euvu8395 5 років тому +3

      people lift you up in many ways. but keep in mind, you can do this on yourself.
      but don't be intimidated by friends and family. talk to your closest friends and family about how you're feeling. how they react depends on the person. but if they're a good friend or family member. they'll always try to be there for you and make sure you're okay. stay strong my friend

    • @kingben7962
      @kingben7962 4 роки тому

      Hey man I know you left this comment a year ago, but I’m curious. I’m in a similar boat with you and wondering how you’ve dealt with your depression?

    • @Yeah-wt1mu
      @Yeah-wt1mu 4 роки тому +1

      Thank you guys so much. It’s still going on and off for me but thankfully I have some control over it, and I’m sorry to hear that I’m not the only one that has went through that. There is no shortcut to take while I felt this, but how I dealt with it was to meet a completely new person, become close and get to know them and find where that friendship takes you. As hard as that may sound that is why I play Xbox, to talk and become friends with people, listen to their problems as they help me deal with mine while we enjoy video games. You may not be a gaming person but that’s just an example. Keep in mind that without a doubt, you need to be extremely careful while doing this, be careful who you trust and tell. And if you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here for you. But that’s how I had overcome mine, make new friends and play video games with them, take my mind off of it completely. Countless toxic people are out there though, so you just have to find the right people you can call “mates”. It took almost a year to find the right person, so I don’t know how long it might take for you. But that’s just how I’ve overcame that. Stay strong out there buddy, I’m here if u wanna talk about it (using the comment section).🙏
      Ps, before anyone thinks “omg ur a gamer just for the attention”. No, I play because it it my escape.

  • @inesalaoui4991
    @inesalaoui4991 6 років тому +86

    thank you so much for this video I dont suffer from depression but I love someone who does and I am always asking myself what should I do to help him I am a really funny person so I try to make him laugh sometimes it works but sometimes it doesnt thank you for making me realise that actually I just need to be in his corner...

    • @sidrahnizamani2757
      @sidrahnizamani2757 5 років тому

      Well same

    • @lelabehr
      @lelabehr 4 роки тому +4

      Same, my bf has depression and I just want to help him even if I wasn't in the past.

    • @nicom4996
      @nicom4996 4 роки тому

      @@lelabehr that is because you are special my friend. You have a connection whit your friend. Same as I do

    • @jamesanderson3886
      @jamesanderson3886 3 роки тому +1

      I wish i had people like that

    • @inesalaoui4991
      @inesalaoui4991 3 роки тому

      @@jamesanderson3886 I'm here if you need someone to talk to. guess what ? now you do :)

  • @mirandam5746
    @mirandam5746 3 місяці тому +2

    I’ve dealt with depression my whole life. If u know me you wouldn’t even guessed it cause I’m always laughing and cracking jokes. But when I get a depressive “episode” it’s hard to even get up from bed. I’ve learned to realize that this will pass but it doesn’t necessarily make it easier.

  • @drea2280
    @drea2280 4 роки тому +16

    thank you, i have a really close friend who is struggling with suicidal thoughts, an abusive parent, adhd and depression. i sometimes find myself stuck because i don't know how to comprehend his struggles but i wanna be there and your advice means a lot. bless your heart and everyone watching this.

  • @ouroborosnagyok9306
    @ouroborosnagyok9306 6 років тому +23

    The best thing you can do to help depression is to be there for them, I agree, you’re so right, that’s it.

  • @moo3187
    @moo3187 15 годин тому +1

    I cried while watching this video
    Thank you for making this amazing video

  • @bellaholt2912
    @bellaholt2912 6 років тому +52

    I watched this video a while back. Now my best friend is better and truly better. Thank you so much for your help.

    • @Spidepig09
      @Spidepig09 2 роки тому +3

      Im hoping to come back here in a few years and comment the same thing🥲

    • @schwiftynat
      @schwiftynat 2 роки тому +2

      @@Spidepig09 me too, i’m so worried about my best friend. we call eachother sisters cause we go to eachother for everything. but this time she doesn’t talk to me , so i’m trying to help in the most respectful way possible. did your friend get better?

    • @Spidepig09
      @Spidepig09 2 роки тому +2

      @@schwiftynat it was my dad, and yes he got so much better fortunately. I think the lockdowns were affecting him a lot more then he thought. As for your friend, sometimes they don’t wanna talk, but having you there is all they need. That’s all i can recommend you, be there. You don’t have to do anything extra. Just let them know you care and you’ll stay no matter how long it takes to heal. They think it’s never gonna end. She may open up sometimes, don’t try to find a magic solution, there really isn’t. Time is the only way to heal. Let her speak and listen.
      I hope for the both of you that she gets better, and I know how hard it is for you but it’s worth it. And remember to take time for yourself sometimes, its not selfish. :)

  • @randomperson-tm2uv
    @randomperson-tm2uv 5 років тому +52

    Ive been helping alot of people with depression and i didn't get the appreciation, but you made me feel so appreciated. Thank you!!!!!!!

    • @rarerana-ew3qg
      @rarerana-ew3qg 4 роки тому +4

      I am doing the same same rn, you are amazing!! Any tips ?:)

    • @randomperson-tm2uv
      @randomperson-tm2uv 4 роки тому +1

      Are you asking me for any tips or the guy who made the video? Lol

    • @rarerana-ew3qg
      @rarerana-ew3qg 4 роки тому +1

      zoeyis bomb oh sorry, yes I was asking you bc of your experience. :)

  • @Elizabeth-gu8hx
    @Elizabeth-gu8hx 7 місяців тому +16

    Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in November. I have zero cravings.
    This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.

    • @patriaciasmith3499
      @patriaciasmith3499 7 місяців тому +1

      Psychedelic’s definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again again but it’s just so hard to source out of there.

    • @jorgparker2463
      @jorgparker2463 7 місяців тому +3

      @@patriaciasmith3499I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety because of university stress. Not until I came across bergwilly11_, a very intelligent mycologist.He saved my life honestly

    • @JamesTaylor-ff4dp
      @JamesTaylor-ff4dp 7 місяців тому

      A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels

    • @zarkos2313
      @zarkos2313 7 місяців тому

      @@jorgparker2463Is he on instagram?

    • @carsonelias4594
      @carsonelias4594 7 місяців тому

      depression and anxiety is like the worst disease you can get

  • @zdevine591
    @zdevine591 2 місяці тому +5

    it sucks feeling like i have no one in my corner, all i want is for the people around me to show that they actually care, yknow? i just crave to be cared about and to not feel like I'm stranded at sea, all on my lonesome. i truly hope I get through this rough rough patch.

    • @lionelgrisbane-ud87
      @lionelgrisbane-ud87 Місяць тому +1

      Same. I feel like no one understands or even tries to understand. People these days don’t ask a lot of questions and aren’t curious about others experiences. I think that’s why so many people feel depressed. We don’t feel seen, heard, or like we can connect with people.

    • @zdevine591
      @zdevine591 Місяць тому

      @@lionelgrisbane-ud87 Defintely, not to sound like an old person but I think technology really hinders our abilities to form meaningful and real connections and it ends with a lot of us feeling alone. And I'm definitely affected by this as well, I can admit I have a hard time making conversation and connections in person, and its something I want to work on.

  • @lionelbekker3590
    @lionelbekker3590 Місяць тому +2

    I am 54 years old and I get so overwhelmed with anxiety- it’s pins and needles all over my body from top to toe. It’s dreadful- mornings are the worse

  • @Siventus
    @Siventus Рік тому +15

    Man, this is exactly what I needed now. My friend's depression is recurring now. Her family is total trash and I need to be here for her. Nobody else knows how to communicate with her. People just give advice. Tons of advice which does not help at all. Even I catch myself sometimes giving her advice. Need to stop that. Your video is very in-place here. Thank you

    • @blendabaunsit9110
      @blendabaunsit9110 3 місяці тому

      Hi, it would be an honor to help your friend. Seek suport from therapist, we have a great program to help your friend get better.

  • @Kirankhan_213
    @Kirankhan_213 3 місяці тому +3

    Hats off to you man for explaining it to me so perfectly.... I saw a flood of videos but none of them were good as this one .... I want to help a very dear friend of mine and this means alot ❤

  • @emilyfox9363
    @emilyfox9363 Місяць тому +1

    "Love means being there for someone." I think "being there" is the hardest part because I've let them down before and they don't want me to be there, even when I'm trying to... and then they turn around and want me to fix it and said I need to help them make it better, and I can't and it gets worse.

  • @MrEvol94
    @MrEvol94 6 місяців тому +3

    Love to have this info. I have a coworker who clearly suffers from it. At first I thought he just disliked me or was jealous of me, but after some digging thanks to social media I realized it's much deeper and has nothing to do with me at all. Will try and give good mornings, be nice and not take his cold behaviour and angry looks personally.

  • @brandidahari9813
    @brandidahari9813 4 місяці тому +3

    This is so helpful as I learn how to help my husband . It’s taken me a long time to understand how I can show up and be there without judgment or expectations or trying to fix anything. Your video is really inspiring to me. Thank you!

  • @aye._.20
    @aye._.20 5 років тому +8

    you know what so I found some papers that my bestie wrote them when I was depression and when she was trying to help me !! And now it is my turn to help my bestie

  • @odatbygrace8643
    @odatbygrace8643 6 років тому +13

    This video is awesome and true .... may I add one thing ... If you love someone who is clinically depressed be KIND to yourself and accept the fact that you cannot save (or cure) another person. Yes everything Scott said is true! But the kind of love Scott is talking about does not happen overnight. Be careful of resentment. Take care of yourself, so that when you want to be there for them (and you will) you can be able to love them the way Scott was talking about.

  • @pippacarron1861
    @pippacarron1861 4 місяці тому +3

    The best way to help someone with depression is to ask them: "What do you need? How can I help you". I once told a friend that I was badly depressed and she offered to take me out for pizza and red wine, which was the last thing I knew I needed. She was then offended when I declined and said petulantly "Well, I tried". I gave up on that "friendship".

  • @katrinat.3032
    @katrinat.3032 Рік тому +2

    This clears things up for me. I have a very close friend who has major depression. Sometimes I get tired of the fact that she never text me or rarely calls me, and even though our birthday is in the same month that she never remembers mine. But then other times I feel, she really values my friendship. I know now it’s the depression.

  • @kelleyoneal9780
    @kelleyoneal9780 4 роки тому +25

    Scott, I watched this video more than once this past week. Even though I didn't expect replies, I sent my boyfriend several texts with well wishes to let him know I'm there for him as long as it takes. Just when I was worrying I had sent too much, he messaged me yesterday morning and thanked me for the messages. I sent three songs as "I'll Stand By You" (Pretenders), "House Of Love" (Amy Grant and Vince Gill) and the one he said he really loved was "A Shoulder To Cry On" (Tommy Page). He even had set up a meeting with a psychiatrist appointment to get outside help to deal with all the negative thoughts of failure, feeling like a burden to friends and family and low self esteem. Told him how proud I was of him for taking that step to reach out and not try to deal with it alone. Thank you a million times over for this and the other videos. Helps me understand him a bit more. I love him a bit more each day and you are so right about how material things don't mean a thing, but unconditional love and support without expectation. Just taking our relationship day by day. Thank you!

    • @alika207
      @alika207 Рік тому +1

      Wonderful song choices! As a music teacher, I truly believe that music can be so inspiring and uplifting for so many people.

  • @KillaManjaroh
    @KillaManjaroh 6 років тому +54

    This video couldn't have come at a better time! Thank You

  • @stupid_fridge
    @stupid_fridge 4 роки тому +4

    I think i speak for many people here when I say thank you so much for showing us to care for our loved ones. I am going to help him get through this and I promise i will be with him every step of the way pulling him out of this hole of eternal darkness

  • @Floriano881
    @Floriano881 40 хвилин тому

    Thanks man.. im helping out my brother to overcome his depression..

  • @trish4341
    @trish4341 5 місяців тому +3

    Thank God I found your video this morning!!!!! Your amazing for helping others🙏

    • @blendabaunsit9110
      @blendabaunsit9110 3 місяці тому

      Hi, it would be an honor to help you. Seek suport from therapist, we have a great program to help you get better.

  • @coachmelonie1574
    @coachmelonie1574 6 років тому +28

    Great video. My daughter suffers from depression so I thank you.

  • @irmbedic8700
    @irmbedic8700 4 роки тому +9

    I’m with my gf who is depressed.. barely texting me, & she is an alcoholic as well. She’s trying to navigate, while I’m in the corner. Idk what else to do. I feel like I’m bothering her when I text her and get nothing in return... but I know it’s RIGHT now, but it’s for sure hard at the moment. Detrimental to us

  • @waverave24124
    @waverave24124 5 років тому +3

    The moment you said the best way is to let that person know you are there for them. I am here for you. That's when I cried.

  • @liamm6208
    @liamm6208 3 роки тому +3

    This is how you help me get over my depression.
    1. Greet me with a big smile on your face.
    2. Keep in touch with me on Social Media.
    3. Communicate with me through Social Media.
    4. Talk about something in a conversation that makes both me and you laugh with each other.
    5. If I'm stressing out, Upset or frustrated with something talk to me or text me to sort out what's wrong.
    6. Make me get myself going with fun and happiness.

  • @virginiomaldonado2746
    @virginiomaldonado2746 3 роки тому +5

    Going through this with my wife... very hard for me feeling unappreciated and feel like nothing I do is ever good...

  • @MelissaSzarka-cp2cv
    @MelissaSzarka-cp2cv 3 дні тому

    This is so real as you describe depression! Thanks for describing what I feel each day.

  • @sadaione
    @sadaione 4 місяці тому +2

    Lots of love🤗❣️You can do it! You are not alone✨

  • @JingYuans_sparrow
    @JingYuans_sparrow Рік тому +8

    This video made me realise I’ve been doing this for every person in my family hoping they would get that’s how I need to be treated but after all these years of diagnosed depression, none of my siblings or parents checked out on me or said “you got this/we are here for you”. I know all their big events and always remember to cheer them up and wish them good luck, I always call on them to ask what their doctor said or how an exam went. All I got was “it’s not like you’ve a fever get tf up”. Sorry for the rant, it’s just something hard to realise all of a sudden and idk what else to do about it

    • @alika207
      @alika207 10 місяців тому

      I am so sorry to hear that. If you feel OK calling out their wrongdoing, sit down with them in person, or call them on the phone, and let them know honestly and constructively how their words are causing you to feel. Thank them for their intention of being helpful, while at the same time showing them examples of what would work better for you. Many people think they are offering Helpful advice and suggestions and not realizing they are actually not helping. You could also send UA-cam videos, links, articles, and so on that talk about things to not say, and things to say, to help them understand more. It will be hard, but it will be worth it for you, and for them. Also, to you, I know you can do this, both in general and regarding this specifically. I’ve got your back. Best of luck on this, and in your endeavors for the rest of your life. I’m sending you love.

    • @JingYuans_sparrow
      @JingYuans_sparrow 10 місяців тому +1

      @@alika207 thank you so much those are all good ideas 🙏🏻 I’ve opened up about this with my sister and I think it helped, I don’t think my parents understand but I now noticed they are trying with their own language and that’s enough for me. I’m trying to switch my focus on what is good and that freed me so much. I send you back much love and luck for everything, thank you for making me feel not alone💛

    • @alika207
      @alika207 10 місяців тому

      @@JingYuans_sparrow you are most welcome! Thank you as well for replying! Best of luck with everything!

  • @ChronicallyConfused
    @ChronicallyConfused 9 місяців тому +2

    Earlier this week my boyfriend told me he thinks he doesn't deserve love, and he admitted to me that he feels depressed. As someone who's been where he's at right now, I truly want to help him.
    I'm doing all the things in this video, watching this was really reassuring to me too. I love him, and I hope that everyone will meet someone who loves them too.
    Even when he feels bad, I know he loves me too, he makes me feel at home, even though he struggles so much rn.

  • @YouTherapy
    @YouTherapy 5 років тому +17

    This just showed up on my feed, and I have to say your words are so beautiful. I’m a psychotherapist and had dealt with severe depression when I was younger. This all rings so true, and obviously comes from a generous and loving heart. 💜

  • @majorenkova
    @majorenkova 5 років тому +56

    My depression is caused by financial stress...so a million dollars would actually heal it...some of us have situational depression with no hope of way out

  • @michaeljennings7511
    @michaeljennings7511 5 років тому +30

    Well done, Scott. THAT is exactly how to help. We (people with depression) have spouses, friends, and family that feel miles away even in the same room. The kind of reaching out you described means so much that it cannot be put into words. I would add for those who want to help to learn everything you can about this illness because we can't teach it ourselves. Cheers.

  • @Reksar
    @Reksar 6 років тому +15

    I didn’t think I would ever need to watch a video like this cause I have never been suffering depression myself but this person... I love her too much I just cannot let her down. I’m so thankful that you made this video dude, I got a few tricks up my sleeve now. Thanks a lot..!

  • @LPSoldier4life
    @LPSoldier4life 5 років тому +3

    Thank you for the video. Someone I love clearly showed depression today and I was lost. I didn’t know what to do and I really still don’t because I’m worried. Now I have a sense of direction though.

  • @Anyoneoutthere89
    @Anyoneoutthere89 16 днів тому

    I’m going through a really bad depression for two months now and I can see it affecting my loved ones. That’s what hurts so badly is how they have no idea how much I’m hurting and truly how bad every second of every day is; but what hurts almost the most is their faces when they see me in this state. It hurts more than words can say.

  • @marinapappas4883
    @marinapappas4883 4 роки тому +7

    I'm really glad I've found this video. Thank you for mentioning how I shouldn't respect anything in return when my loved one is suffering. I don't know much about mental illness, but your video helped put into perspective how I should expect them to act while suffering. Sincerely, thank you :)

  • @annas.5595
    @annas.5595 6 років тому +28

    this video is sO powerful i'm gonna go flip a table, i'm gonna share it ten times idec people need to see this, you're awesome and your friend is awesome i love the both of you.

  • @jessmayer5032
    @jessmayer5032 5 років тому

    This was beautiful and means so much, thank you❤️

  • @sasaelsa
    @sasaelsa 4 роки тому +4

    Thank you so much
    You really made me feel like i am doing my best in helping my husband even if he is not responding but you just give me a big push to continue what i am doing

  • @davidfancovic772
    @davidfancovic772 4 роки тому

    What a great video :) Thank you for the fact, that you are caring not only about your own depression but actually trying to help the others to fight it.

  • @livimoon5631
    @livimoon5631 4 роки тому

    Thank you so much for this video! It helps a lot! Hope you have a nice day Scott.

  • @carriecanfield7642
    @carriecanfield7642 6 років тому

    Wonderful post Scott. I am reposting this for sure.

  • @gualbertoperezmd121
    @gualbertoperezmd121 5 років тому +1

    Scott, just met you in this video--congratulations on the video, you have made a huge impact. God Bless you and keep up your wonderful energy and your courage to open up like this. These few minutes on this video I'm sure have brought light into many.
    Love you!!

  • @leticiacornish849
    @leticiacornish849 6 років тому

    This video is truly amazing. Thank you Scott!! I sent it to every person who helped me to get better :)

  • @chuva6488
    @chuva6488 5 років тому +1

    Thank you very much Scott! Thank you for being the light that lot of people is looking for, thank you for being that fresh air of the day!

  • @jennifers.7037
    @jennifers.7037 6 років тому +7

    This is beautiful. Thank you. We are both so lucky to have a friend that loves us so much, even through our darkness.

  • @jewel7043
    @jewel7043 6 років тому +15

    Hey thanks for making this video. I definitely relate to it on both ends from being the person trying to help and being the one needing help as well.
    Also I wanted to say thanks so much for the videos you make. They really do help. I was really upset and depressed and couldn't work up the energy to talk to anyone and just felt like I was alone and my thoughts were getting really negative but I decided to get on youtube and watch some of your videos and it really helped me push through. Your channel deserves way more views and subscribers than it gets.

  • @AlizaMYasin
    @AlizaMYasin 5 років тому

    Thank you for making me proud of myself.. You know this has motivated me more to support my friend! Thank you Scott!

  • @ejemgi
    @ejemgi 5 років тому

    Hey, thanks for sharing this! It made me cry to realize that I care, and that it truly can make a difference to a person 💜

  • @farhanahkhan03
    @farhanahkhan03 6 років тому +3

    Love you, Scott. Thank you for this video. And all your videos!

  • @RosiBe2
    @RosiBe2 5 років тому

    Bless you!! Very helpful video. I hope your days now are happy ones.🤗🤗

  • @beatrizfadini8139
    @beatrizfadini8139 5 років тому

    Thank you so much for sharing this. It is the most incredible, warming and beautiful video I've ever seen. It's very deep and I'm sure it will help others help other people a lot. A big and truly thank you ♥️

  • @jaciunscripted
    @jaciunscripted 4 роки тому

    i'm crying right now, thank you for sending me this.

  • @JoeKammerExclusive
    @JoeKammerExclusive 4 роки тому +5

    My girlfriend is going through a lot mentally and physically in her life right now. She has depression anxiety and a couple other things I’m not gonna talk on here. We’re taking a break right now because she feels like a relationship is too much to handle right now on top of everything. I have delt with anxiety and been in some dark places and I’ve done similar things when I was in those places. She was and is my best friend even before we started dating and I love her unconditionally, and I still want to be there for her but it’s killing me to not be able to hold her and kiss her and tell her I love her. I want to know how to be able to help her and be there for her to help her get better, but I also want to know how to cope with a break in a relationship. A lot to take in I know but thank you if you read this

  • @andrewjames6053
    @andrewjames6053 3 роки тому

    This is one of the best views on this topic I have ever seen. Thank you for the upload.

  • @jeffcarter7601
    @jeffcarter7601 5 років тому

    Thank you so much for this video! My gf suffers and this video was a really good reminder of how I can help her. What you are doing is very helpful and is very much appreciated. Keep it up, brother. You got this

  • @jaylasmith1917
    @jaylasmith1917 3 роки тому

    This video literally made me cry, so helpful, thank you!🥺❤️❤️

  • @niktee1482
    @niktee1482 3 роки тому

    Thankyou so much for helping me to understand. With so much built up anxiety of my own not knowing how to support my man this video was like a weight has been lifted for me! Thanks for sharing Scott x

  • @YourAverageG20
    @YourAverageG20 2 роки тому

    I'm seriously so glad I found this video. The way you explained this awful condition was so helpful. My partner is currently going through some very rough times, and I am trying my best to be her rock and keep her grounded. Beautifully spoken, and very informative. Thank you.

  • @katelynbowers2985
    @katelynbowers2985 4 роки тому +1

    I cried at this because you’re so so right. Thank you for this video. ❤️

  • @wahajkamil6823
    @wahajkamil6823 5 років тому +3

    Thank you, I’ve been watching vids about this to help a friend with severe depression!!! You are so incredibly inspiring💜 bless you and your family💜

  • @sanashah397
    @sanashah397 4 роки тому

    This video is not just a video, it means so much to me, i am glad i came across this

  • @nickydavies5399
    @nickydavies5399 2 роки тому

    Thank you so so much for explaining this to me!! It all makes so much sense, and I know this will help me so much to help someone I love.
    Thank you so much! Admire you, and love and appreciate you.

  • @angadkhokhar3820
    @angadkhokhar3820 6 років тому

    Hey!! Your video really moved me! Thank you soo much!

  • @stephaniekelly3223
    @stephaniekelly3223 4 роки тому

    You are so strong and courageous to do this, God bless you!

  • @syrupthegamer1015
    @syrupthegamer1015 3 роки тому

    This video is all I needed as a thank you.

  • @karanpadda07
    @karanpadda07 5 років тому +1

    Thanks man you have helped me so much to help my loved one and they are looking much happier now thanks I appreciate it

  • @ariellesmith5449
    @ariellesmith5449 6 років тому +11

    This is such a beautiful video with solid advice

  • @berthacdellasala
    @berthacdellasala 5 років тому

    Thank you for sharing with us and yes, your loved ones are there for you and always go to them when in need. I tell that to my daughter and husband who both suffer from depression. Hugs to you as well.

  • @LuuHongNam
    @LuuHongNam 7 місяців тому

    i appreciate this video so much, thank you Scott, for the motivation and the encouragement you gave me through this video to help someone i love

  • @gloriasanders9841
    @gloriasanders9841 5 років тому +4

    What a lovely man you are Scott, this is the best video I have seen, thank you

  • @hathaikarns5
    @hathaikarns5 2 роки тому

    Big thanks to you!!! I researched this for whole day but you make it very clear. It’s tough because we are LDR and I never deal with depressed people before

  • @NicoleEivissa
    @NicoleEivissa 5 років тому

    So much love to you man!!! What you have described is... I’m so grateful for your video cuz i never know if i do everything i can and it breaks my heart when they suffer and don’t even want to talk sometimes and i feel that and understand it’s not they fault- giving them time, space, unconditional love (because i love them from day one the same way, but learnt to not expect anything-it’s okay) and acceptance and from time to time remind them you are here for them is important imho (cuz depression makes you kinda “forget” people care - it makes you think in this way whereas people actually care but it’s just the depression giving you these fake thoughts). Your words warmed my heart, thank you! ❤️

  • @pranay561
    @pranay561 4 роки тому

    More power to you .And your friend. She's a very nice human.