He's saying the truth. Being there for a depressed person makes them feel for once that they aren't worthless. If they talk to you, *listen* . even if it is the awkwardest conversation ever. Just listen..oh and always give them a hug at last. It always helps.
Aaliyah Lo A Njoe No conversation about depression is awkward it’s the most important part of understanding why they’re depressed, but I agree with everything else
Clinical depression is different from simple depression... Clinical I would imagine requires drugs because you literally can't speak or think or function. Simple depression is a deep form of sadness, you function you talk but you care for nothing except certain (hidden to you) things. Like the video says ...if say a depressed person needs loyalty..show them loyalty. .. Needs attention,or fun show them those. ...Needs support financial... give them that. It all depends what they are really wanting and not getting in life...you really can't judge a book by its cover, even the most outwardly social people are very depressed inside if being honest
@@brett7071 i didn't mean it in that way. As a depressed person myself i find it very awkward to open up and i also find it awkward when other people open up to me because i dont really know what to do except listening and give hugs. But yeah i didn't mean it in awkward as in "wth is she saying" if you kno what i mean
I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with cptsd. Spent my whole life fighting cptsd. I also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
As a depressed person with a partner who struggles with knowing how to help me - Thank you. To all of you trying to be there for someone in your life. I can't imagine how thankless and discouraging it must feel. Thank you! It means literally everything. Everything.
@@yk6187 for me it'd be helpful to have the partner show that they're there without pushing themselves on you. like say 'i know you're hurting and i'm here for you. you can talk to me if you want to but you don't have to' and hug them if they let you. That's obviously subjective, but i hope it helps!
@spottedleaKitty I did go and got pied on the face today travelled an hr. The father closed the door on me although he doesn't speak English and later he told me to let him me
My bf is in a really bad place, he sometimes ignores all my attempts at communication... recently I’ve been finding things hard but this video gave me the courage to continue to be there for him, after all I do love him regardless
Same. It's so hard. His indifference towards me (and everything) is so painful and makes me feel unwanted. I really need assurance and support, but he can't give that to me right now. He's in a really bad place. Worse than me. This video helped me understand that I need to be even more patient and that I can't expect support in return, at least not right now.
The person I love is depressed. I never expect anything back. I already knew I needed to be in their corner. I just needed something new to try and I started to look at many videos from "therapists" all saying the exact same thing that doesn't help. And I need something from a different perspective. So I'm thankful I found this video. It helped out a lot.
My girlfriend suffers, it’s so hard. I adore her, she’s my world and all I think about is her. She’s the same with me, but she’s always got this dark cloud following her. I’m here for her 24/7, I will do anything for her. I’m here to fight with her every day until I die, and I’ve told her all this and will continue to do so daily. We’re so happy together, it’s a dream.. if I could have a genie grant me one wish, it would be something I’d waste on myself.. I’d just wish that she’d be happy with herself. I love her with all my soul and I am here with her on every step of this journey. (I tell her all this, and I never expect anything in return - I’m just typing this out here for my own benefit because it’s so hard to keep your own head above the water and I just want to express my own feelings) thank you for the video, you’ve refilled my motivation cup and I cannot thank you enough
Pia Kiddo Yes he has such beautiful sad eyes and very helpful video. I hope you feel better soon ❤ You deserve good things and happiness in life! Stay strong! ❤
it sucks feeling like i have no one in my corner, all i want is for the people around me to show that they actually care, yknow? i just crave to be cared about and to not feel like I'm stranded at sea, all on my lonesome. i truly hope I get through this rough rough patch.
Same. I feel like no one understands or even tries to understand. People these days don’t ask a lot of questions and aren’t curious about others experiences. I think that’s why so many people feel depressed. We don’t feel seen, heard, or like we can connect with people.
@@lionelgrisbane-ud87 Defintely, not to sound like an old person but I think technology really hinders our abilities to form meaningful and real connections and it ends with a lot of us feeling alone. And I'm definitely affected by this as well, I can admit I have a hard time making conversation and connections in person, and its something I want to work on.
My girlfriend sufferes and suffered from depression. I did what you said and I'm happy that I did the right thing from the get go. I don't know if I am enough though and that's the biggest problem I have. I can be there, but I can only do so much for her. I wish you all best of luck and have patience people. Patience and love is the key
This man's video, the look in his eyes, the depth in his voice. I felt that intense urge. Probably this is that only video on internet, that made me feel so much in few minutes. Thank You. Thank you for making this video.
I have been depressed for a long time, but after taking mushrooms few months ago, l feel much happier and highly motivated and my ADHD gone , lost a ton of anxiousness and had a few epiphanies about how I should live my life. I decided to buy an ounce for backup, but haven’t yet felt the need to take any more since then.
I've met a girl online and it's been months since we've started talking. We might have been just chatting online but I know that she is always feeling down because she told me a few days after we met. I've always been trying to help her since. There are times that she wouldn't respond to any of my messages for days but I always gives her messages morning, afternoon, and evening. She became okay for a while but she recently became depressed again. I've been keeping on sending her messages everyday in hopes that she'll feel loved even for just a short amount of time. I wanted to do more but I can't think of anything else to help her with.
I do the same with him. I just tell him "I'm here no matter what". He sometimes behaves soo harsh and insensitive that it hurts every inch of my soul but I've calmed myself knowing that it's not what he is ,it's just his depression. Initially I was reactive but now I've changed myself. Though I myself feel low and have been a patient of depression but now all I care about is him because that's what unconditional love is. I think a woman in love is the most innocent and beautiful thing in this world.! I remember a very beautiful quote of Rumi which states that ; To love is human, to feel pain is human, yet to still love despite the pain is pure angel.
I’ve been pretty low this past month and just listening to this made me cry. Everything he said is absolutely true. Friends get mad when I don’t respond or just stop talking to me. They don’t understand that I cannot think of a response or have the energy to come up with a response that isn’t going to be loaded with self pitty. I wish they wouldn’t stop talking to me. They just don’t know how much the persistence matters.
I've been watching your video for 2 min and I'm already crying because you're so right about the feeling of gratitude for those who helped you getting out of depression through love and acceptance. I can never stress enough how much it was important to me in the proccess of self healing. On the other hand, I'm now the one who wants to help somebody and the part of not expecting them to acknowleging it can be quite hard, but I owe this to the world. I love them so much not to try. Thank you for being the one who acknowledges it and makes us feel loved back.
Your comment means so much to me, my bf has depression and never talks to me. He takes his anger out on my friends. But I know that it's not his fault and I want to be there for him even if I wasn't in the past. My friends tell me to break up with him, but I know I shouldn't.
You’re right. I may not be here to help someone, but I clicked on this video to try to help myself. I agree with everything you said about how it feels to have someone there for you. But for me, that person doesn’t stay by my side. Yes, I have friends and family that I can talk to, I’m too scared to talk to them either because I don’t want them to judge me or worry about me. I’m not looking for likes or comments to help support me, I just want to say thank you to everyone who is trying to save that someone. God bless you :)
people lift you up in many ways. but keep in mind, you can do this on yourself. but don't be intimidated by friends and family. talk to your closest friends and family about how you're feeling. how they react depends on the person. but if they're a good friend or family member. they'll always try to be there for you and make sure you're okay. stay strong my friend
Thank you guys so much. It’s still going on and off for me but thankfully I have some control over it, and I’m sorry to hear that I’m not the only one that has went through that. There is no shortcut to take while I felt this, but how I dealt with it was to meet a completely new person, become close and get to know them and find where that friendship takes you. As hard as that may sound that is why I play Xbox, to talk and become friends with people, listen to their problems as they help me deal with mine while we enjoy video games. You may not be a gaming person but that’s just an example. Keep in mind that without a doubt, you need to be extremely careful while doing this, be careful who you trust and tell. And if you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here for you. But that’s how I had overcome mine, make new friends and play video games with them, take my mind off of it completely. Countless toxic people are out there though, so you just have to find the right people you can call “mates”. It took almost a year to find the right person, so I don’t know how long it might take for you. But that’s just how I’ve overcame that. Stay strong out there buddy, I’m here if u wanna talk about it (using the comment section).🙏 Ps, before anyone thinks “omg ur a gamer just for the attention”. No, I play because it it my escape.
My brother is really low at the minute he’s had to be admitted to hospital and wish I could help him more.It’s so sad to see. I’ve got his back always ❤❤
thank you, i have a really close friend who is struggling with suicidal thoughts, an abusive parent, adhd and depression. i sometimes find myself stuck because i don't know how to comprehend his struggles but i wanna be there and your advice means a lot. bless your heart and everyone watching this.
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in November. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelic’s definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again again but it’s just so hard to source out of there.
@@patriaciasmith3499I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety because of university stress. Not until I came across bergwilly11_, a very intelligent mycologist.He saved my life honestly
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
@@Spidepig09 me too, i’m so worried about my best friend. we call eachother sisters cause we go to eachother for everything. but this time she doesn’t talk to me , so i’m trying to help in the most respectful way possible. did your friend get better?
@@schwiftynat it was my dad, and yes he got so much better fortunately. I think the lockdowns were affecting him a lot more then he thought. As for your friend, sometimes they don’t wanna talk, but having you there is all they need. That’s all i can recommend you, be there. You don’t have to do anything extra. Just let them know you care and you’ll stay no matter how long it takes to heal. They think it’s never gonna end. She may open up sometimes, don’t try to find a magic solution, there really isn’t. Time is the only way to heal. Let her speak and listen. I hope for the both of you that she gets better, and I know how hard it is for you but it’s worth it. And remember to take time for yourself sometimes, its not selfish. :)
Love to have this info. I have a coworker who clearly suffers from it. At first I thought he just disliked me or was jealous of me, but after some digging thanks to social media I realized it's much deeper and has nothing to do with me at all. Will try and give good mornings, be nice and not take his cold behaviour and angry looks personally.
Man, this is exactly what I needed now. My friend's depression is recurring now. Her family is total trash and I need to be here for her. Nobody else knows how to communicate with her. People just give advice. Tons of advice which does not help at all. Even I catch myself sometimes giving her advice. Need to stop that. Your video is very in-place here. Thank you
This is so helpful as I learn how to help my husband . It’s taken me a long time to understand how I can show up and be there without judgment or expectations or trying to fix anything. Your video is really inspiring to me. Thank you!
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Just listen. Listen to them and be supportive and try to understand what they’re saying and ask them if there is anything you can do to help. Giving us support and just simply listening to us makes us feel like there is someone there for us. But don’t expect anything in return (sounds harsh but that’s just how it is sometime. We do appreciate the help and support tho)
My person is pushing me away for almost two weeks now. Radio silence it is. I texted her that I am here if she wants to talk. I am praying ang hoping that i can give her a hug
@@rockeyrhino872 i am texting her everyday, one or two. Just reminding her that i am here for her, i am being ignired for weeks now. Lol. I really dont know if she already ghosted me or even worse block me. 😅 but i know that i didnt do anything wrong, i understand her that she needs space and i respect that. They said patience and understanding is needed.
Thank you for this ❤ It means a lot for someone suffering from depression. I am dealing with this for almost 9yrs now and no one is there to comfort me. I'm afraid to talk and to be misunderstood by others. I keep it to myself. It's very hard but hey I'm still here trying to survive. Fighting to exist each new day. I don't even know what's my purpose but I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to exist. I don't want to feel pain. I don't want to suffer anymore. I just want to be at peace. I just want to be free from this depression.
thank you so much for this video I dont suffer from depression but I love someone who does and I am always asking myself what should I do to help him I am a really funny person so I try to make him laugh sometimes it works but sometimes it doesnt thank you for making me realise that actually I just need to be in his corner...
I'm gonna try. She deserves the world and I want to give her all the love she deserves . It's hard because i've not always being strong enough to recognize that she is suffering . I am not strong enough sometimes and sometimes I hurt her without wanting to . All I want is to be there for her , care for her and support her in her journey . I will keep trying as long as it takes , I promise. She's my friend , my power and she deserves everything in the world , I'll try to be there more because she can do it , I love her and believe in her fully even if she doesnt believe in herself . Thank you for this video!
Hats off to you man for explaining it to me so perfectly.... I saw a flood of videos but none of them were good as this one .... I want to help a very dear friend of mine and this means alot ❤
I think i speak for many people here when I say thank you so much for showing us to care for our loved ones. I am going to help him get through this and I promise i will be with him every step of the way pulling him out of this hole of eternal darkness
you know what so I found some papers that my bestie wrote them when I was depression and when she was trying to help me !! And now it is my turn to help my bestie
Thanks for sharing this. Guys had lost my parents and my younger brother is suffering from serious depression, requesting you all to please send your prayers...
This video is awesome and true .... may I add one thing ... If you love someone who is clinically depressed be KIND to yourself and accept the fact that you cannot save (or cure) another person. Yes everything Scott said is true! But the kind of love Scott is talking about does not happen overnight. Be careful of resentment. Take care of yourself, so that when you want to be there for them (and you will) you can be able to love them the way Scott was talking about.
Earlier this week my boyfriend told me he thinks he doesn't deserve love, and he admitted to me that he feels depressed. As someone who's been where he's at right now, I truly want to help him. I'm doing all the things in this video, watching this was really reassuring to me too. I love him, and I hope that everyone will meet someone who loves them too. Even when he feels bad, I know he loves me too, he makes me feel at home, even though he struggles so much rn.
The best way to help someone with depression is to ask them: "What do you need? How can I help you". I once told a friend that I was badly depressed and she offered to take me out for pizza and red wine, which was the last thing I knew I needed. She was then offended when I declined and said petulantly "Well, I tried". I gave up on that "friendship".
This video made me realise I’ve been doing this for every person in my family hoping they would get that’s how I need to be treated but after all these years of diagnosed depression, none of my siblings or parents checked out on me or said “you got this/we are here for you”. I know all their big events and always remember to cheer them up and wish them good luck, I always call on them to ask what their doctor said or how an exam went. All I got was “it’s not like you’ve a fever get tf up”. Sorry for the rant, it’s just something hard to realise all of a sudden and idk what else to do about it
I am so sorry to hear that. If you feel OK calling out their wrongdoing, sit down with them in person, or call them on the phone, and let them know honestly and constructively how their words are causing you to feel. Thank them for their intention of being helpful, while at the same time showing them examples of what would work better for you. Many people think they are offering Helpful advice and suggestions and not realizing they are actually not helping. You could also send UA-cam videos, links, articles, and so on that talk about things to not say, and things to say, to help them understand more. It will be hard, but it will be worth it for you, and for them. Also, to you, I know you can do this, both in general and regarding this specifically. I’ve got your back. Best of luck on this, and in your endeavors for the rest of your life. I’m sending you love.
@@alika207 thank you so much those are all good ideas 🙏🏻 I’ve opened up about this with my sister and I think it helped, I don’t think my parents understand but I now noticed they are trying with their own language and that’s enough for me. I’m trying to switch my focus on what is good and that freed me so much. I send you back much love and luck for everything, thank you for making me feel not alone💛
Scott, I watched this video more than once this past week. Even though I didn't expect replies, I sent my boyfriend several texts with well wishes to let him know I'm there for him as long as it takes. Just when I was worrying I had sent too much, he messaged me yesterday morning and thanked me for the messages. I sent three songs as "I'll Stand By You" (Pretenders), "House Of Love" (Amy Grant and Vince Gill) and the one he said he really loved was "A Shoulder To Cry On" (Tommy Page). He even had set up a meeting with a psychiatrist appointment to get outside help to deal with all the negative thoughts of failure, feeling like a burden to friends and family and low self esteem. Told him how proud I was of him for taking that step to reach out and not try to deal with it alone. Thank you a million times over for this and the other videos. Helps me understand him a bit more. I love him a bit more each day and you are so right about how material things don't mean a thing, but unconditional love and support without expectation. Just taking our relationship day by day. Thank you!
This is coming from the side of a depressed person, I honestly didn’t know that there were people out there willing to show support like your friend did everyday. I honestly wish I had more support like that.
Yes, that sure would make a world of difference. I cannot say I have such a person in my life nor ever really did. I'm in my mid 60's and it' so lacking.
This just showed up on my feed, and I have to say your words are so beautiful. I’m a psychotherapist and had dealt with severe depression when I was younger. This all rings so true, and obviously comes from a generous and loving heart. 💜
This clears things up for me. I have a very close friend who has major depression. Sometimes I get tired of the fact that she never text me or rarely calls me, and even though our birthday is in the same month that she never remembers mine. But then other times I feel, she really values my friendship. I know now it’s the depression.
Well done, Scott. THAT is exactly how to help. We (people with depression) have spouses, friends, and family that feel miles away even in the same room. The kind of reaching out you described means so much that it cannot be put into words. I would add for those who want to help to learn everything you can about this illness because we can't teach it ourselves. Cheers.
I want to give my testimony. I have a friend who seemed depressed he mentioned it several times but I thought maybe he just wanted to be alone. I opted to leave him alone I checked up on him every 3 wks. I had a feeling something was not right I listened to your video and I for the past theee days have been sending him messages tht I love and care for him he’s a great man. Wow he is responding. Last night he got emotional and thanked me so much for worrying about him. I did t realize he’s going through something reall bad.
I didn’t think I would ever need to watch a video like this cause I have never been suffering depression myself but this person... I love her too much I just cannot let her down. I’m so thankful that you made this video dude, I got a few tricks up my sleeve now. Thanks a lot..!
My girlfriend is going through a lot mentally and physically in her life right now. She has depression anxiety and a couple other things I’m not gonna talk on here. We’re taking a break right now because she feels like a relationship is too much to handle right now on top of everything. I have delt with anxiety and been in some dark places and I’ve done similar things when I was in those places. She was and is my best friend even before we started dating and I love her unconditionally, and I still want to be there for her but it’s killing me to not be able to hold her and kiss her and tell her I love her. I want to know how to be able to help her and be there for her to help her get better, but I also want to know how to cope with a break in a relationship. A lot to take in I know but thank you if you read this
this video is sO powerful i'm gonna go flip a table, i'm gonna share it ten times idec people need to see this, you're awesome and your friend is awesome i love the both of you.
My mother has been struggling, and I'm feeling so helpless, but I own her my life, my glory, my happiness. I'm gonna tell her right now, I'm gonna tell her whatever happens. All our family struggles and problems I'm suffering with her, and her sacrifices have made a man's life, her son, and that THAT is for me, worth everything. I'd do anything for you, mom, If Wonder Woman exists, it's you. Thanks for giving me hope man, you're the best, and you going through your depression has inspired others to help them, too. I thank you sincerely. Thank you!
My girlfriend is currently depressed and I thought it would move on. She has not gotten through it so I am learning how to help her. It is something you have to learn in order to help someone.
I'm really glad I've found this video. Thank you for mentioning how I shouldn't respect anything in return when my loved one is suffering. I don't know much about mental illness, but your video helped put into perspective how I should expect them to act while suffering. Sincerely, thank you :)
Thank you for the video. Someone I love clearly showed depression today and I was lost. I didn’t know what to do and I really still don’t because I’m worried. Now I have a sense of direction though.
Me too. It's like I've lost my ability to show any emotions. I have a wife, but she doesn't understand. I showed her this video, all she did was turn it around to make it about her. Guilt is real. I feel like getting in my car and just driving away.😢
My friend is currently suffering through this. Sometimes, she won't even reply back. She will even admit that she's been distant. At least she wanted to call me last week? 😊Thanks for this video. As someone who was depressed for a decade, it hurts, but i had people to help, asking nothing in return. She's always saying thank you and stuff, but even if she didn't, it wouldn't really affect me. But i always check up on her every friday just to see how she's been. I ❤ her, and im not going to leave her, not like people have left me in the past. Whenever she needs me ill aways be there, ready to help howerer it takes. ❤😊
Hey thanks for making this video. I definitely relate to it on both ends from being the person trying to help and being the one needing help as well. Also I wanted to say thanks so much for the videos you make. They really do help. I was really upset and depressed and couldn't work up the energy to talk to anyone and just felt like I was alone and my thoughts were getting really negative but I decided to get on youtube and watch some of your videos and it really helped me push through. Your channel deserves way more views and subscribers than it gets.
Thank you, my husband just got diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I was having trouble on knowing how to help him so your video helped me to know that me being here for him it is helping him I'm glad to know I am doing it right. So thank you. And I wish you well and I hope for the best for you
Thank you so much You really made me feel like i am doing my best in helping my husband even if he is not responding but you just give me a big push to continue what i am doing
I’m with my gf who is depressed.. barely texting me, & she is an alcoholic as well. She’s trying to navigate, while I’m in the corner. Idk what else to do. I feel like I’m bothering her when I text her and get nothing in return... but I know it’s RIGHT now, but it’s for sure hard at the moment. Detrimental to us
I’m going through a really bad depression for two months now and I can see it affecting my loved ones. That’s what hurts so badly is how they have no idea how much I’m hurting and truly how bad every second of every day is; but what hurts almost the most is their faces when they see me in this state. It hurts more than words can say.
Thank you for sharing this advice! I have felt so helpless in seeing my Mom struggle with depression and the disfunctional situation in her home, that I've tried to detach myself away from all of it, since she refuses my help. I didn't know how I could help someone who isn't willing to help themselves...This video made me realize that I can make a difference by being there for her and I just need to drop my expectations. Thank you for this. I am going to try this different approach
Unfortunately in reality lots of people will knock one own even more when you are at the bottom of the dark place where you are.... they will pile on more pain instead of observing and realizing this person needs help... I've been there a number of times..... we need love, kindness and understanding.... in the dark place we have no light and we need others to help us to find that light again.... if you say inappropriate things all that happens is we are driven more and more to the brink.... everyone in this world matters....
My bf has depression and never texts me, calls me or anything, he even takes his anger out on my friends. But I clicked on this video because I want to help him.
i’m not depressed but that is actually so sweet. i love how supporting and kind you’re being. i hope he’ll eventually recover from this ❤️ i don’t really know what else to say besides that lol
I have a friend who suffers from anxiety and depression, and college is making it worse. I felt like texting her every morning was making her anxiety worse, so I gave her space when she said she just wanted to be secluded. I just text once a week now and I don't expect a reply. I just wish I knew I was doing the right thing.
I feel you... My friend hasn't opened whatsapp in weeks, so she doesn't even see my messages. She doesn't answer the phone either. She's 2000km away. I feel so helpless.
everytime my best friends depression starts to get bad again i watch this video. i love and care for him so so so much and it’s insanely hard and utterly frustrating having to come to terms with the fact that i cant pull him out of it, i have to just be here and wait and try my absolute best to remind him through it all that i am here and i do care. my worst fear is growing to resent him for it, because its so easy for me to say “just do this or do that, it helped me” because i dont have depression, so those things do help me but they wont always help him and he may just not even have the energy to try right now. i dont wanna say that its draining for me but it is at times, and it’s important for me to set aside time for myself and to remind myself that i am helping him even if i feel like im not, and when he can again, he will express his gratitude as he always does. it is hard to love someone when you cant truly understand their struggles, but when you understand that they are not their struggles they are the person who is dealing with them and recognizing that puts the situation into a healthier perspective as an outsider, and allows me to continue being there for the strong and amazing person i love so dearly.
I find it so difficult to help my loved one as she expresses her anger, envy and dissatisfaction towards me. I understand she is suffering, does not have energy to do things and I help her best I can. But at the same time I know it is just matter of time when she tells me how badly I treat her because I didn't compliment her new dress or I didn't send her message two years ago when she needed it most. Basically she wants me to understand that I'm not a perfect person, which I know without telling it to me. I also shouldn't defend myself, because that doesn't make her feel any better. Like you said, I shouldn't expect anything from her - like taking any responsibility of her own feelings and attitude. As she is depressed, she is automatically justified to do and say whatever and my role is to support her. I should listen, understand but not to offer any solutions. Of course I understand depressed person is going through hellish times, but we who love them walk very close to the same route. Difference is that we are not yet depressed and therefore we can still give. But I'm so scared can I ever give enough and am I also sinking into depression as all I get is reminders of how I do not understand how to support her. :(
Hey, I know this comment was a year before, but, from my experience, it is super important that you know where to place the limit. It sounds hard, but we are not obligued to carry other people's crosses, specially if it starts to destroy us. I once had a friend, which in those times I failed to realize was being super abusive towards me and others too. They fell into depression and I thought, as a past clinical depresion patient myself, was my "dutty" to support this person. They would make calls at 3 am threatening to hurt themselves, and we would rush to his appartment only to be insulted later. He would bust out crying and then he'd guilt trip us. The thing is, they treated me so badly I had a really really bad depression relapse after 9 years of mental stability, so when things went pretty bad to the point this person actually injured me in a fit of rage, I just had to remove myself from that situation and seek help for myself too. It's ok to be someone's supportive friend in their most dark times, but there's a limit. This dynamic between you and your friend sounds like its hurting you a lot, even if they are depressed, this is not excuse to endure abuse, even if its "small" passive agressive behavior and you owe yourself safety. I know this is super late, but I would try to go to therapy and ACTUALLY talk this out with a therapist, on how you can keep on supporting this person but from a safer ground, or even if its safe for you at all. I don't know how things have gone during this year from the moment you posted this but I trully hope you are doing well and your friend too, and you don't have to go through what I went through. Hugs from South Am. Everything will be ok.
Yes, Just being there! When I was depressed, my life partner then wasn't there for me at all, no conversations, let alone caring or .... even got mad when one time saw me shed tears , and yelled "so, now what?" So I'd make sure he's not there when shedding tears. That was the darkest time in my life. I watched this video because a friend of mine is going throuh a depression, and I want to help him. I realized the ways what I've been trying were wrong! There's a big ocean between us, thanx so much for the internet we have today! When I was depressed, I was in abroad, no internet available yet then, couldn't call my family wheneverI needed, too expensive to call! Thank you!
My depression is caused by financial stress...so a million dollars would actually heal it...some of us have situational depression with no hope of way out
I AM FIGHTING DEPRESSION SO MUCH I NUST STARTED CRYING FOR NO REASON AT THE RESTROOM AT WORK ITS SO HARD NO ONE NOTICED ITS SO HARD NOTHING IS WORKING I WANT TO FEEL NORMAL BUT CAN'T ANYONE HAVE ANYMORE TIPS
Gilbert im soo sorry you are going through this. Reaching out for help is a major step. There are hotlines you can call. If you don’t feel ready to seek professional help yet. You can even talk to a family doctor. I’m in Ontario Canada and I have even called Telehealth Ontario.
Hey Gilbert, so sorry you're feeling depressed. What I would do is forgive yourself for the stagnation created by your depression. And give yourself time to heal. Love yourself for who you are right now, even if you don't feel like you're the best version of you. Be kind to yourself on your way to recovery. If you are looking for more practical tips, there are so many books and videos available to you. What matters now is that you don't give up! Also, try to surround yourself with a support team. That can include a family member, a friend, a proffesional and even this beautiful community right here. There is no shame in telling people you are hurting if they don't notice it themselves. Keep going, you got this!
You're working on it everyday? That's amazing! It takes a lot of strenght to keep fighting and it's exactly this strenght that's going to get you out of this mess. Keep going! There is this beautiful quote by Rainer Maria Rike: “Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Gilbert I admire your perseverance Gilbert. I too go to therapy, I've tried many antidepressants and used to attend therapy regularly. I cry at work too, and it makes for an awful day. I cant sleep for more than a few hours at a time. The state of existence can certainly feel pointless, but we have to keep going.
Thank you Scott, this video says it all. Clear, do-able actions on how to help a person with depression. Brilliant advice. Speaking as a person who has spent most of my 59 years in & out of depression, experiencing massive, frightening panic attacks & severe GAD (ongoing) I love your advice. And 100% agree. Just be available to the person suffering. Tell them you’ve got their back. Allow them to respond in their time. Don’t treat them any different to when they are well. We just need SOMEONE who really cares & is actually there for us. Truly there - not the ‘let me know if you need anything’ type. The ones who care ASK YOU regularly. They are true friends. Depression is a very lonely illness. It tries to separate us from the world outside the 4 walls. All we need is someone who understands & actually IS there for us. It makes a huge difference. Money can’t buy that. Excellent Scott. Thank you for sharing this vid. I’m sure it will help a lot of people 💚
This has helped so much, just the fact that they know that they're not alone and there's someone there who cares despite their current situation makes a huge difference
"You can't expect anything in return" i just want them to live trough it that's enough
It hurts so badly when they push you away for a long time
same. Just to survive is enough. not wanting anything in return
@@evieferbin2130 It really hurts. Like destroying into small unrecoverable pieces. It really does.
My friend has depression I’m trying to help but idk how
Exactly, all I need in return is for them to keep being alive
He's saying the truth.
Being there for a depressed person makes them feel for once that they aren't worthless.
If they talk to you, *listen* . even if it is the awkwardest conversation ever. Just listen..oh and always give them a hug at last. It always helps.
Aaliyah Lo A Njoe No conversation about depression is awkward it’s the most important part of understanding why they’re depressed, but I agree with everything else
She hates hugs tho... and I'm a guy and she would be humiliated...
Clinical depression is different from simple depression...
Clinical I would imagine requires drugs because you literally can't speak or think or function.
Simple depression is a deep form of sadness, you function you talk but you care for nothing except certain (hidden to you) things.
Like the video says
...if say a depressed person needs loyalty..show them loyalty.
.. Needs attention,or fun show them those.
...Needs support financial... give them that.
It all depends what they are really wanting and not getting in life...you really can't judge a book by its cover, even the most outwardly social people are very depressed inside if being honest
My son is 20 and won’t accept hugs. I don’t force it, but I wish there was some way I could comfort him.I feel like he is afraid to cry.💔
@@brett7071 i didn't mean it in that way. As a depressed person myself i find it very awkward to open up and i also find it awkward when other people open up to me because i dont really know what to do except listening and give hugs. But yeah i didn't mean it in awkward as in "wth is she saying" if you kno what i mean
I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with cptsd. Spent my whole life fighting cptsd. I also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
As a depressed person with a partner who struggles with knowing how to help me -
Thank you. To all of you trying to be there for someone in your life. I can't imagine how thankless and discouraging it must feel. Thank you! It means literally everything. Everything.
@spottedleaKitty what if the person is pushing you away or blocking you, you know they are suffering but dont want to make them angry?
@@yk6187 for me it'd be helpful to have the partner show that they're there without pushing themselves on you. like say 'i know you're hurting and i'm here for you. you can talk to me if you want to but you don't have to'
and hug them if they let you.
That's obviously subjective, but i hope it helps!
@spottedleaKitty I did go and got pied on the face today travelled an hr. The father closed the door on me although he doesn't speak English and later he told me to let him me
Hard to not feel hurt just to love someone
How can i comfort my partner over text? Please help if you know!
My bf is in a really bad place, he sometimes ignores all my attempts at communication... recently I’ve been finding things hard but this video gave me the courage to continue to be there for him, after all I do love him regardless
Hey did u ever find out a way to pull him out of depression? Or did ur relationship end ?
I'm in your same situation i hope I'll be able to help him
Hi sis I am also going through your same situation... remember you are not alone...I hope everything will be alright ❤
Same. It's so hard. His indifference towards me (and everything) is so painful and makes me feel unwanted. I really need assurance and support, but he can't give that to me right now. He's in a really bad place. Worse than me. This video helped me understand that I need to be even more patient and that I can't expect support in return, at least not right now.
Man I feel that
The person I love is depressed. I never expect anything back. I already knew I needed to be in their corner. I just needed something new to try and I started to look at many videos from "therapists" all saying the exact same thing that doesn't help. And I need something from a different perspective. So I'm thankful I found this video. It helped out a lot.
I am the exact way. My bf has depression, and all I want to do is love him and help him.
What can i do? My man is try to push me away he says my love make him hard to breath 😭
Hi, it would be an honor to help your partner. Seek suport from therapist one on one, we have a great program to help your partner get better.
My girlfriend suffers, it’s so hard. I adore her, she’s my world and all I think about is her. She’s the same with me, but she’s always got this dark cloud following her. I’m here for her 24/7, I will do anything for her. I’m here to fight with her every day until I die, and I’ve told her all this and will continue to do so daily. We’re so happy together, it’s a dream.. if I could have a genie grant me one wish, it would be something I’d waste on myself.. I’d just wish that she’d be happy with herself. I love her with all my soul and I am here with her on every step of this journey. (I tell her all this, and I never expect anything in return - I’m just typing this out here for my own benefit because it’s so hard to keep your own head above the water and I just want to express my own feelings) thank you for the video, you’ve refilled my motivation cup and I cannot thank you enough
I’m on the same journey with my wife. Thanks for your note. I feel the same way.
i’m 13 and came here for the same reason as you guys. i hope you could work through it with your partners
Your beautiful eyes, they look so sad and heavy in this video. Mine were the same today. I hate my Depression. But tomorrow's a new day :)
Pia Kiddo Hugs to you🤗 you matter and you’re gonna go throw this! ❤️
Pia Kiddo Yes he has such beautiful sad eyes and very helpful video. I hope you feel better soon ❤ You deserve good things and happiness in life! Stay strong! ❤
No. Love it. Because when you will get out of there you will see how its beautiful
Yes , let's fight together
You can see it in the eyes. Just look and u will see in another person and try to help them as u truly understand.
it sucks feeling like i have no one in my corner, all i want is for the people around me to show that they actually care, yknow? i just crave to be cared about and to not feel like I'm stranded at sea, all on my lonesome. i truly hope I get through this rough rough patch.
Same. I feel like no one understands or even tries to understand. People these days don’t ask a lot of questions and aren’t curious about others experiences. I think that’s why so many people feel depressed. We don’t feel seen, heard, or like we can connect with people.
@@lionelgrisbane-ud87 Defintely, not to sound like an old person but I think technology really hinders our abilities to form meaningful and real connections and it ends with a lot of us feeling alone. And I'm definitely affected by this as well, I can admit I have a hard time making conversation and connections in person, and its something I want to work on.
How have you been doing now?
How are you? I hope you’re having a good day/night! And if you’re not, that’s ok too. ❤
My girlfriend sufferes and suffered from depression. I did what you said and I'm happy that I did the right thing from the get go. I don't know if I am enough though and that's the biggest problem I have. I can be there, but I can only do so much for her.
I wish you all best of luck and have patience people. Patience and love is the key
I think what you did and do is so much more Ryan enough for them, it means a lot.
This man's video, the look in his eyes, the depth in his voice. I felt that intense urge. Probably this is that only video on internet, that made me feel so much in few minutes. Thank You. Thank you for making this video.
2024.. and I'm so thankful I come to see this vedio of yours
I have been depressed for a long time, but after taking mushrooms few months ago, l feel much happier and highly motivated and my ADHD gone , lost a ton of anxiousness and had a few epiphanies about how I should live my life. I decided to buy an ounce for backup, but haven’t yet felt the need to take any more since then.
I have autism, I was diagnosed with it when I was 15. I tried shrooms and it made me function so much better.
Eek I’m autistic too and might wanna try mushrooms. How do I go about it?
Yeah doc.brentttt is your guide. Man is exceptional with anything psychedelics.
Hello Can he be reached on IG?
Yes doc.Brentttt
I've met a girl online and it's been months since we've started talking. We might have been just chatting online but I know that she is always feeling down because she told me a few days after we met. I've always been trying to help her since. There are times that she wouldn't respond to any of my messages for days but I always gives her messages morning, afternoon, and evening. She became okay for a while but she recently became depressed again. I've been keeping on sending her messages everyday in hopes that she'll feel loved even for just a short amount of time. I wanted to do more but I can't think of anything else to help her with.
I feel you,it's really hard 😢
I do the same with him. I just tell him "I'm here no matter what". He sometimes behaves soo harsh and insensitive that it hurts every inch of my soul but I've calmed myself knowing that it's not what he is ,it's just his depression. Initially I was reactive but now I've changed myself. Though I myself feel low and have been a patient of depression but now all I care about is him because that's what unconditional love is. I think a woman in love is the most innocent and beautiful thing in this world.! I remember a very beautiful quote of Rumi which states that ; To love is human, to feel pain is human, yet to still love despite the pain is pure angel.
I’ve been pretty low this past month and just listening to this made me cry. Everything he said is absolutely true. Friends get mad when I don’t respond or just stop talking to me. They don’t understand that I cannot think of a response or have the energy to come up with a response that isn’t going to be loaded with self pitty. I wish they wouldn’t stop talking to me. They just don’t know how much the persistence matters.
I've been watching your video for 2 min and I'm already crying because you're so right about the feeling of gratitude for those who helped you getting out of depression through love and acceptance. I can never stress enough how much it was important to me in the proccess of self healing. On the other hand, I'm now the one who wants to help somebody and the part of not expecting them to acknowleging it can be quite hard, but I owe this to the world. I love them so much not to try. Thank you for being the one who acknowledges it and makes us feel loved back.
I'm glad i'm not the only one who cried watching this!
Your comment means so much to me, my bf has depression and never talks to me. He takes his anger out on my friends. But I know that it's not his fault and I want to be there for him even if I wasn't in the past. My friends tell me to break up with him, but I know I shouldn't.
@Lela Behr Are you guys still together?
Same here ....I was crying continuously !! I just want to make her happy at any cost !!!
You’re right. I may not be here to help someone, but I clicked on this video to try to help myself. I agree with everything you said about how it feels to have someone there for you. But for me, that person doesn’t stay by my side. Yes, I have friends and family that I can talk to, I’m too scared to talk to them either because I don’t want them to judge me or worry about me. I’m not looking for likes or comments to help support me, I just want to say thank you to everyone who is trying to save that someone. God bless you :)
people lift you up in many ways. but keep in mind, you can do this on yourself.
but don't be intimidated by friends and family. talk to your closest friends and family about how you're feeling. how they react depends on the person. but if they're a good friend or family member. they'll always try to be there for you and make sure you're okay. stay strong my friend
Hey man I know you left this comment a year ago, but I’m curious. I’m in a similar boat with you and wondering how you’ve dealt with your depression?
Thank you guys so much. It’s still going on and off for me but thankfully I have some control over it, and I’m sorry to hear that I’m not the only one that has went through that. There is no shortcut to take while I felt this, but how I dealt with it was to meet a completely new person, become close and get to know them and find where that friendship takes you. As hard as that may sound that is why I play Xbox, to talk and become friends with people, listen to their problems as they help me deal with mine while we enjoy video games. You may not be a gaming person but that’s just an example. Keep in mind that without a doubt, you need to be extremely careful while doing this, be careful who you trust and tell. And if you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here for you. But that’s how I had overcome mine, make new friends and play video games with them, take my mind off of it completely. Countless toxic people are out there though, so you just have to find the right people you can call “mates”. It took almost a year to find the right person, so I don’t know how long it might take for you. But that’s just how I’ve overcame that. Stay strong out there buddy, I’m here if u wanna talk about it (using the comment section).🙏
Ps, before anyone thinks “omg ur a gamer just for the attention”. No, I play because it it my escape.
My brother is really low at the minute he’s had to be admitted to hospital and wish I could help him more.It’s so sad to see. I’ve got his back always ❤❤
thank you, i have a really close friend who is struggling with suicidal thoughts, an abusive parent, adhd and depression. i sometimes find myself stuck because i don't know how to comprehend his struggles but i wanna be there and your advice means a lot. bless your heart and everyone watching this.
The best thing you can do to help depression is to be there for them, I agree, you’re so right, that’s it.
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in November. I have zero cravings.
This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelic’s definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again again but it’s just so hard to source out of there.
@@patriaciasmith3499I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety because of university stress. Not until I came across bergwilly11_, a very intelligent mycologist.He saved my life honestly
A lot of people have testified about this and I really want to give it a shot. I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
@@jorgparker2463Is he on instagram?
depression and anxiety is like the worst disease you can get
I watched this video a while back. Now my best friend is better and truly better. Thank you so much for your help.
Im hoping to come back here in a few years and comment the same thing🥲
@@Spidepig09 me too, i’m so worried about my best friend. we call eachother sisters cause we go to eachother for everything. but this time she doesn’t talk to me , so i’m trying to help in the most respectful way possible. did your friend get better?
@@schwiftynat it was my dad, and yes he got so much better fortunately. I think the lockdowns were affecting him a lot more then he thought. As for your friend, sometimes they don’t wanna talk, but having you there is all they need. That’s all i can recommend you, be there. You don’t have to do anything extra. Just let them know you care and you’ll stay no matter how long it takes to heal. They think it’s never gonna end. She may open up sometimes, don’t try to find a magic solution, there really isn’t. Time is the only way to heal. Let her speak and listen.
I hope for the both of you that she gets better, and I know how hard it is for you but it’s worth it. And remember to take time for yourself sometimes, its not selfish. :)
The moment you said the best way is to let that person know you are there for them. I am here for you. That's when I cried.
Love to have this info. I have a coworker who clearly suffers from it. At first I thought he just disliked me or was jealous of me, but after some digging thanks to social media I realized it's much deeper and has nothing to do with me at all. Will try and give good mornings, be nice and not take his cold behaviour and angry looks personally.
Man, this is exactly what I needed now. My friend's depression is recurring now. Her family is total trash and I need to be here for her. Nobody else knows how to communicate with her. People just give advice. Tons of advice which does not help at all. Even I catch myself sometimes giving her advice. Need to stop that. Your video is very in-place here. Thank you
Hi, it would be an honor to help your friend. Seek suport from therapist, we have a great program to help your friend get better.
This is so helpful as I learn how to help my husband . It’s taken me a long time to understand how I can show up and be there without judgment or expectations or trying to fix anything. Your video is really inspiring to me. Thank you!
Ive been helping alot of people with depression and i didn't get the appreciation, but you made me feel so appreciated. Thank you!!!!!!!
I am doing the same same rn, you are amazing!! Any tips ?:)
Are you asking me for any tips or the guy who made the video? Lol
zoeyis bomb oh sorry, yes I was asking you bc of your experience. :)
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
What is the best way to "be there for them" if depression makes them to push their love ones away ?
Just listen. Listen to them and be supportive and try to understand what they’re saying and ask them if there is anything you can do to help. Giving us support and just simply listening to us makes us feel like there is someone there for us. But don’t expect anything in return (sounds harsh but that’s just how it is sometime. We do appreciate the help and support tho)
Songs to lift someone's spirits
My person is pushing me away for almost two weeks now. Radio silence it is. I texted her that I am here if she wants to talk. I am praying ang hoping that i can give her a hug
@@dreib5129 what did you do to help her later?
@@rockeyrhino872 i am texting her everyday, one or two. Just reminding her that i am here for her, i am being ignired for weeks now. Lol. I really dont know if she already ghosted me or even worse block me. 😅 but i know that i didnt do anything wrong, i understand her that she needs space and i respect that. They said patience and understanding is needed.
Thank you for this ❤ It means a lot for someone suffering from depression. I am dealing with this for almost 9yrs now and no one is there to comfort me. I'm afraid to talk and to be misunderstood by others. I keep it to myself. It's very hard but hey I'm still here trying to survive. Fighting to exist each new day. I don't even know what's my purpose but I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to exist. I don't want to feel pain. I don't want to suffer anymore. I just want to be at peace. I just want to be free from this depression.
thank you so much for this video I dont suffer from depression but I love someone who does and I am always asking myself what should I do to help him I am a really funny person so I try to make him laugh sometimes it works but sometimes it doesnt thank you for making me realise that actually I just need to be in his corner...
Well same
Same, my bf has depression and I just want to help him even if I wasn't in the past.
@@lelabehr that is because you are special my friend. You have a connection whit your friend. Same as I do
I wish i had people like that
@@jamesanderson3886 I'm here if you need someone to talk to. guess what ? now you do :)
I'm gonna try. She deserves the world and I want to give her all the love she deserves . It's hard because i've not always being strong enough to recognize that she is suffering . I am not strong enough sometimes and sometimes I hurt her without wanting to . All I want is to be there for her , care for her and support her in her journey . I will keep trying as long as it takes , I promise. She's my friend , my power and she deserves everything in the world , I'll try to be there more because she can do it , I love her and believe in her fully even if she doesnt believe in herself . Thank you for this video!
Hats off to you man for explaining it to me so perfectly.... I saw a flood of videos but none of them were good as this one .... I want to help a very dear friend of mine and this means alot ❤
This video couldn't have come at a better time! Thank You
I think i speak for many people here when I say thank you so much for showing us to care for our loved ones. I am going to help him get through this and I promise i will be with him every step of the way pulling him out of this hole of eternal darkness
Been “being there” for my wife for 5 months and now I’m dealing with my own depression as a result
you know what so I found some papers that my bestie wrote them when I was depression and when she was trying to help me !! And now it is my turn to help my bestie
Thanks for sharing this. Guys had lost my parents and my younger brother is suffering from serious depression, requesting you all to please send your prayers...
Hi,
How is your brother doing,
My son is in depression
I don’t know how to help him,
This video is awesome and true .... may I add one thing ... If you love someone who is clinically depressed be KIND to yourself and accept the fact that you cannot save (or cure) another person. Yes everything Scott said is true! But the kind of love Scott is talking about does not happen overnight. Be careful of resentment. Take care of yourself, so that when you want to be there for them (and you will) you can be able to love them the way Scott was talking about.
My girlfriend is in a very Bad place right now and this Video realy helpt me. I understand her more now. Thank you so much
This is why dogs and cats are do great. They do everything in this video.
Earlier this week my boyfriend told me he thinks he doesn't deserve love, and he admitted to me that he feels depressed. As someone who's been where he's at right now, I truly want to help him.
I'm doing all the things in this video, watching this was really reassuring to me too. I love him, and I hope that everyone will meet someone who loves them too.
Even when he feels bad, I know he loves me too, he makes me feel at home, even though he struggles so much rn.
The best way to help someone with depression is to ask them: "What do you need? How can I help you". I once told a friend that I was badly depressed and she offered to take me out for pizza and red wine, which was the last thing I knew I needed. She was then offended when I declined and said petulantly "Well, I tried". I gave up on that "friendship".
This video made me realise I’ve been doing this for every person in my family hoping they would get that’s how I need to be treated but after all these years of diagnosed depression, none of my siblings or parents checked out on me or said “you got this/we are here for you”. I know all their big events and always remember to cheer them up and wish them good luck, I always call on them to ask what their doctor said or how an exam went. All I got was “it’s not like you’ve a fever get tf up”. Sorry for the rant, it’s just something hard to realise all of a sudden and idk what else to do about it
I am so sorry to hear that. If you feel OK calling out their wrongdoing, sit down with them in person, or call them on the phone, and let them know honestly and constructively how their words are causing you to feel. Thank them for their intention of being helpful, while at the same time showing them examples of what would work better for you. Many people think they are offering Helpful advice and suggestions and not realizing they are actually not helping. You could also send UA-cam videos, links, articles, and so on that talk about things to not say, and things to say, to help them understand more. It will be hard, but it will be worth it for you, and for them. Also, to you, I know you can do this, both in general and regarding this specifically. I’ve got your back. Best of luck on this, and in your endeavors for the rest of your life. I’m sending you love.
@@alika207 thank you so much those are all good ideas 🙏🏻 I’ve opened up about this with my sister and I think it helped, I don’t think my parents understand but I now noticed they are trying with their own language and that’s enough for me. I’m trying to switch my focus on what is good and that freed me so much. I send you back much love and luck for everything, thank you for making me feel not alone💛
@@JingYuans_sparrow you are most welcome! Thank you as well for replying! Best of luck with everything!
Great video. My daughter suffers from depression so I thank you.
Is she ok now?
Thank God I found your video this morning!!!!! Your amazing for helping others🙏
Hi, it would be an honor to help you. Seek suport from therapist, we have a great program to help you get better.
Scott, I watched this video more than once this past week. Even though I didn't expect replies, I sent my boyfriend several texts with well wishes to let him know I'm there for him as long as it takes. Just when I was worrying I had sent too much, he messaged me yesterday morning and thanked me for the messages. I sent three songs as "I'll Stand By You" (Pretenders), "House Of Love" (Amy Grant and Vince Gill) and the one he said he really loved was "A Shoulder To Cry On" (Tommy Page). He even had set up a meeting with a psychiatrist appointment to get outside help to deal with all the negative thoughts of failure, feeling like a burden to friends and family and low self esteem. Told him how proud I was of him for taking that step to reach out and not try to deal with it alone. Thank you a million times over for this and the other videos. Helps me understand him a bit more. I love him a bit more each day and you are so right about how material things don't mean a thing, but unconditional love and support without expectation. Just taking our relationship day by day. Thank you!
Wonderful song choices! As a music teacher, I truly believe that music can be so inspiring and uplifting for so many people.
This is coming from the side of a depressed person, I honestly didn’t know that there were people out there willing to show support like your friend did everyday. I honestly wish I had more support like that.
Yes, that sure would make a world of difference. I cannot say I have such a person in my life nor ever really did. I'm in my mid 60's and it' so lacking.
This just showed up on my feed, and I have to say your words are so beautiful. I’m a psychotherapist and had dealt with severe depression when I was younger. This all rings so true, and obviously comes from a generous and loving heart. 💜
This clears things up for me. I have a very close friend who has major depression. Sometimes I get tired of the fact that she never text me or rarely calls me, and even though our birthday is in the same month that she never remembers mine. But then other times I feel, she really values my friendship. I know now it’s the depression.
Well done, Scott. THAT is exactly how to help. We (people with depression) have spouses, friends, and family that feel miles away even in the same room. The kind of reaching out you described means so much that it cannot be put into words. I would add for those who want to help to learn everything you can about this illness because we can't teach it ourselves. Cheers.
I want to give my testimony. I have a friend who seemed depressed he mentioned it several times but I thought maybe he just wanted to be alone. I opted to leave him alone I checked up on him every 3 wks. I had a feeling something was not right I listened to your video and I for the past theee days have been sending him messages tht I love and care for him he’s a great man. Wow he is responding. Last night he got emotional and thanked me so much for worrying about him. I did t realize he’s going through something reall bad.
I didn’t think I would ever need to watch a video like this cause I have never been suffering depression myself but this person... I love her too much I just cannot let her down. I’m so thankful that you made this video dude, I got a few tricks up my sleeve now. Thanks a lot..!
Lots of love🤗❣️You can do it! You are not alone✨
My girlfriend is going through a lot mentally and physically in her life right now. She has depression anxiety and a couple other things I’m not gonna talk on here. We’re taking a break right now because she feels like a relationship is too much to handle right now on top of everything. I have delt with anxiety and been in some dark places and I’ve done similar things when I was in those places. She was and is my best friend even before we started dating and I love her unconditionally, and I still want to be there for her but it’s killing me to not be able to hold her and kiss her and tell her I love her. I want to know how to be able to help her and be there for her to help her get better, but I also want to know how to cope with a break in a relationship. A lot to take in I know but thank you if you read this
I cried while watching this video
Thank you for making this amazing video
this video is sO powerful i'm gonna go flip a table, i'm gonna share it ten times idec people need to see this, you're awesome and your friend is awesome i love the both of you.
My mother has been struggling, and I'm feeling so helpless, but I own her my life, my glory, my happiness. I'm gonna tell her right now, I'm gonna tell her whatever happens. All our family struggles and problems I'm suffering with her, and her sacrifices have made a man's life, her son, and that THAT is for me, worth everything. I'd do anything for you, mom, If Wonder Woman exists, it's you. Thanks for giving me hope man, you're the best, and you going through your depression has inspired others to help them, too. I thank you sincerely. Thank you!
This is beautiful. Thank you. We are both so lucky to have a friend that loves us so much, even through our darkness.
My girlfriend is currently depressed and I thought it would move on. She has not gotten through it so I am learning how to help her. It is something you have to learn in order to help someone.
I'm really glad I've found this video. Thank you for mentioning how I shouldn't respect anything in return when my loved one is suffering. I don't know much about mental illness, but your video helped put into perspective how I should expect them to act while suffering. Sincerely, thank you :)
Thank you for this beautyful video. This gives me so much hope and confidence. My boyfriend is depressed and I love him more than anything ❤
Thank you for the video. Someone I love clearly showed depression today and I was lost. I didn’t know what to do and I really still don’t because I’m worried. Now I have a sense of direction though.
What a beautiful friend she did that for you every morning. What a wonderful friend.
How I wish I could have a friend like this...instead of being alone all this time
Hi, it would be an honor to help you. Seek suport from therapist, we have a great program to help you get better.
@@blendabaunsit9110 Thanks for your reply. In reality is not "cheap" and definitely not "free"! It is so hard to decide right now. :(
Me too. It's like I've lost my ability to show any emotions. I have a wife, but she doesn't understand. I showed her this video, all she did was turn it around to make it about her. Guilt is real. I feel like getting in my car and just driving away.😢
They r too busy being depressed somewhere. Sadly. I agree tho.
how often do you get depressed? Mine is not 3-4 weeks in a row, not even every month. Though it's ramping up lately.
My friend is currently suffering through this. Sometimes, she won't even reply back. She will even admit that she's been distant. At least she wanted to call me last week? 😊Thanks for this video. As someone who was depressed for a decade, it hurts, but i had people to help, asking nothing in return. She's always saying thank you and stuff, but even if she didn't, it wouldn't really affect me. But i always check up on her every friday just to see how she's been. I ❤ her, and im not going to leave her, not like people have left me in the past. Whenever she needs me ill aways be there, ready to help howerer it takes. ❤😊
I am 54 years old and I get so overwhelmed with anxiety- it’s pins and needles all over my body from top to toe. It’s dreadful- mornings are the worse
Thank you for sharing this. I am trying to help my sister who is deeply depressed,
Hey thanks for making this video. I definitely relate to it on both ends from being the person trying to help and being the one needing help as well.
Also I wanted to say thanks so much for the videos you make. They really do help. I was really upset and depressed and couldn't work up the energy to talk to anyone and just felt like I was alone and my thoughts were getting really negative but I decided to get on youtube and watch some of your videos and it really helped me push through. Your channel deserves way more views and subscribers than it gets.
Hello gewd people. Glad to see people like me helping others. All of us are going through this together. Namaste!
Thank you, my husband just got diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I was having trouble on knowing how to help him so your video helped me to know that me being here for him it is helping him I'm glad to know I am doing it right. So thank you. And I wish you well and I hope for the best for you
Thank you so much
You really made me feel like i am doing my best in helping my husband even if he is not responding but you just give me a big push to continue what i am doing
Same here😊
Be there for him without any expectation. I'm learning it because of love.
I’m with my gf who is depressed.. barely texting me, & she is an alcoholic as well. She’s trying to navigate, while I’m in the corner. Idk what else to do. I feel like I’m bothering her when I text her and get nothing in return... but I know it’s RIGHT now, but it’s for sure hard at the moment. Detrimental to us
I’m going through a really bad depression for two months now and I can see it affecting my loved ones. That’s what hurts so badly is how they have no idea how much I’m hurting and truly how bad every second of every day is; but what hurts almost the most is their faces when they see me in this state. It hurts more than words can say.
What a lovely man you are Scott, this is the best video I have seen, thank you
Such a helpful video. You definitely can’t expect anything in return you have to genuinely want to be there without judgement.
Thank you for sharing this advice! I have felt so helpless in seeing my Mom struggle with depression and the disfunctional situation in her home, that I've tried to detach myself away from all of it, since she refuses my help. I didn't know how I could help someone who isn't willing to help themselves...This video made me realize that I can make a difference by being there for her and I just need to drop my expectations. Thank you for this. I am going to try this different approach
Unfortunately in reality lots of people will knock one own even more when you are at the bottom of the dark place where you are.... they will pile on more pain instead of observing and realizing this person needs help... I've been there a number of times..... we need love, kindness and understanding.... in the dark place we have no light and we need others to help us to find that light again.... if you say inappropriate things all that happens is we are driven more and more to the brink.... everyone in this world matters....
Going through this with my wife... very hard for me feeling unappreciated and feel like nothing I do is ever good...
That's all I need, like you said. For someone to be there, no one has ever said that phrase better than you yourself. Thank you
This is such a beautiful video with solid advice
My bf has depression and never texts me, calls me or anything, he even takes his anger out on my friends. But I clicked on this video because I want to help him.
i’m not depressed but that is actually so sweet. i love how supporting and kind you’re being. i hope he’ll eventually recover from this ❤️ i don’t really know what else to say besides that lol
@@emma-vb8ys tysm for your comment!
Don't worry if you love him you have what it takes!
I have a depressed friend that I wanna help so badly, thus why I'm here. And this have been so helpful thank you
Thank you, I’ve been watching vids about this to help a friend with severe depression!!! You are so incredibly inspiring💜 bless you and your family💜
That friend that sends motivating texts to you is an angel is disguise. She's very rare and so precious. God bless her.💝
I have a friend who suffers from anxiety and depression, and college is making it worse. I felt like texting her every morning was making her anxiety worse, so I gave her space when she said she just wanted to be secluded. I just text once a week now and I don't expect a reply. I just wish I knew I was doing the right thing.
I feel you... My friend hasn't opened whatsapp in weeks, so she doesn't even see my messages. She doesn't answer the phone either. She's 2000km away. I feel so helpless.
everytime my best friends depression starts to get bad again i watch this video. i love and care for him so so so much and it’s insanely hard and utterly frustrating having to come to terms with the fact that i cant pull him out of it, i have to just be here and wait and try my absolute best to remind him through it all that i am here and i do care. my worst fear is growing to resent him for it, because its so easy for me to say “just do this or do that, it helped me” because i dont have depression, so those things do help me but they wont always help him and he may just not even have the energy to try right now. i dont wanna say that its draining for me but it is at times, and it’s important for me to set aside time for myself and to remind myself that i am helping him even if i feel like im not, and when he can again, he will express his gratitude as he always does. it is hard to love someone when you cant truly understand their struggles, but when you understand that they are not their struggles they are the person who is dealing with them and recognizing that puts the situation into a healthier perspective as an outsider, and allows me to continue being there for the strong and amazing person i love so dearly.
Love you, Scott. Thank you for this video. And all your videos!
This is confirmation for me. I’m helping my son. He’s feeling a lot better now.
I find it so difficult to help my loved one as she expresses her anger, envy and dissatisfaction towards me. I understand she is suffering, does not have energy to do things and I help her best I can. But at the same time I know it is just matter of time when she tells me how badly I treat her because I didn't compliment her new dress or I didn't send her message two years ago when she needed it most. Basically she wants me to understand that I'm not a perfect person, which I know without telling it to me. I also shouldn't defend myself, because that doesn't make her feel any better. Like you said, I shouldn't expect anything from her - like taking any responsibility of her own feelings and attitude. As she is depressed, she is automatically justified to do and say whatever and my role is to support her. I should listen, understand but not to offer any solutions. Of course I understand depressed person is going through hellish times, but we who love them walk very close to the same route. Difference is that we are not yet depressed and therefore we can still give. But I'm so scared can I ever give enough and am I also sinking into depression as all I get is reminders of how I do not understand how to support her. :(
Hey, I know this comment was a year before, but, from my experience, it is super important that you know where to place the limit. It sounds hard, but we are not obligued to carry other people's crosses, specially if it starts to destroy us. I once had a friend, which in those times I failed to realize was being super abusive towards me and others too. They fell into depression and I thought, as a past clinical depresion patient myself, was my "dutty" to support this person. They would make calls at 3 am threatening to hurt themselves, and we would rush to his appartment only to be insulted later. He would bust out crying and then he'd guilt trip us. The thing is, they treated me so badly I had a really really bad depression relapse after 9 years of mental stability, so when things went pretty bad to the point this person actually injured me in a fit of rage, I just had to remove myself from that situation and seek help for myself too. It's ok to be someone's supportive friend in their most dark times, but there's a limit. This dynamic between you and your friend sounds like its hurting you a lot, even if they are depressed, this is not excuse to endure abuse, even if its "small" passive agressive behavior and you owe yourself safety. I know this is super late, but I would try to go to therapy and ACTUALLY talk this out with a therapist, on how you can keep on supporting this person but from a safer ground, or even if its safe for you at all. I don't know how things have gone during this year from the moment you posted this but I trully hope you are doing well and your friend too, and you don't have to go through what I went through.
Hugs from South Am. Everything will be ok.
Yes, Just being there! When I was depressed, my life partner then wasn't there for me at all, no conversations, let alone caring or .... even got mad when one time saw me shed tears , and yelled "so, now what?" So I'd make sure he's not there when shedding tears. That was the darkest time in my life.
I watched this video because a friend of mine is going throuh a depression, and I want to help him. I realized the ways what I've been trying were wrong! There's a big ocean between us, thanx so much for the internet we have today! When I was depressed, I was in abroad, no internet available yet then, couldn't call my family wheneverI needed, too expensive to call!
Thank you!
My depression is caused by financial stress...so a million dollars would actually heal it...some of us have situational depression with no hope of way out
L O L! :-)
This video is just amazing. So good. I hope Scott has had joy and contentment in his life since this video.
I AM FIGHTING DEPRESSION SO MUCH I NUST STARTED CRYING FOR NO REASON AT THE RESTROOM AT WORK ITS SO HARD NO ONE NOTICED ITS SO HARD NOTHING IS WORKING I WANT TO FEEL NORMAL BUT CAN'T ANYONE HAVE ANYMORE TIPS
Gilbert im soo sorry you are going through this. Reaching out for help is a major step. There are hotlines you can call. If you don’t feel ready to seek professional help yet. You can even talk to a family doctor. I’m in Ontario Canada and I have even called Telehealth Ontario.
Hey Gilbert, so sorry you're feeling depressed. What I would do is forgive yourself for the stagnation created by your depression. And give yourself time to heal. Love yourself for who you are right now, even if you don't feel like you're the best version of you. Be kind to yourself on your way to recovery. If you are looking for more practical tips, there are so many books and videos available to you. What matters now is that you don't give up! Also, try to surround yourself with a support team. That can include a family member, a friend, a proffesional and even this beautiful community right here. There is no shame in telling people you are hurting if they don't notice it themselves. Keep going, you got this!
I am seeing a therapist and i am working on it everyday
You're working on it everyday? That's amazing! It takes a lot of strenght to keep fighting and it's exactly this strenght that's going to get you out of this mess. Keep going! There is this beautiful quote by Rainer Maria Rike: “Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Gilbert I admire your perseverance Gilbert. I too go to therapy, I've tried many antidepressants and used to attend therapy regularly. I cry at work too, and it makes for an awful day. I cant sleep for more than a few hours at a time. The state of existence can certainly feel pointless, but we have to keep going.
I'm 10yrs old and my friend really needed this video I was able to make him enjoy life a bit more thank you for that
Thank you Scott, this video says it all. Clear, do-able actions on how to help a person with depression. Brilliant advice.
Speaking as a person who has spent most of my 59 years in & out of depression, experiencing massive, frightening panic attacks & severe GAD (ongoing) I love your advice. And 100% agree.
Just be available to the person suffering. Tell them you’ve got their back. Allow them to respond in their time. Don’t treat them any different to when they are well.
We just need SOMEONE who really cares & is actually there for us. Truly there - not the ‘let me know if you need anything’ type. The ones who care ASK YOU regularly. They are true friends.
Depression is a very lonely illness. It tries to separate us from the world outside the 4 walls. All we need is someone who understands & actually IS there for us. It makes a huge difference. Money can’t buy that.
Excellent Scott. Thank you for sharing this vid. I’m sure it will help a lot of people 💚
This has helped so much, just the fact that they know that they're not alone and there's someone there who cares despite their current situation makes a huge difference