MY BEST FRIEND WAS LIKE MY SISTER & NOW SHE'S GHOSTED 👻 ME OVER A MAN! I'M SO HURT BY THIS! HELP!
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2024
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#fumidesaluvold #relationshipadvice #relationshipcoach #relationshipgoals
It’s ok my entire circle ghosted me …. They don’t know the blessing I am … im living my best life
Same, I walk alone and people seem to only come to me when they need something. I pretend as if I never saw the message because I walk alone 🤷🏾♀️
Heard you loud and clear. Their loss.
Wow, I'm sorry! That's so mean and harsh! I know something about it, it's really heartbreaking... Good luck with finding better people!
If the Entire circle did just ghost you then that’s absolutely a blessing because we’ve all seen and heard stories of what happens when the gang don’t like you but your the only that doesn’t know! Be thankful you lived to tell the story.
THIIISSSSS!!!! 🎯 My fam too, pretty much everyone I know once I started to elevate 😉🙌🏾
My mother used to tell me it would happen to me. Losing friends that is. I am now older and it has happened to a 30 year friendship. Our only ever disagreement (no argument ) happened. She got mad and wouldn't talk to me. I kept trying and finally gave up. I never disrespected her, ever. It's been 4 years now. My phone rang the other day. It was her friend that came between us. I didn't answer, no message. In the past, it would have bothered me. It didn't at all. I'm now at peace with it. Life goes on beautifully, if you allow it. Some people are only in your life for a season.
Yes, amen 💜🙏🏾
I love how you explained your experience. And the last two lines ...profound. Wish you a lovely life❤️
Yes!!! This!!❤
I’m invested now lol. Do you have proof that her friend came between you guys? Or was it an inkling? Please school me as I am young and having a similar experience. I have noticed in my personal life that sometimes friends are jealous of other friendships that you may have. 30 years is 2 yrs shy of my life….I can see someone being jealous of that.❤❤❤
I can relate. You handled that very well. You had moved on. Your absence, proved your value.
Auntie Fumi, when is the book?! Your life and its engaging experiences should be told! I demand a book, auntie!! Lol. Auntie Fumi, please, please … a BOOK’
Some people just don't want the friendship anymore or were never your real friend. If they ghost me and call years later, keep that same energy. Im over it at this point. You HAD a great friend, your loss. I LOVE MY OWN COMPANY!!! ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾
My only 3 friends .1 ghosted me and 2 are busy with their relationships. When I call one on them she sound like I'm bothering her so I stopped calling to check on her . Now she only call me when she needs something so I stopped answering. Living my life
I’m sorry. Those aren’t friends, you deserve much better ❤
When people show you who they are, believe them!!!
Some friends can’t handle your professional and financial growth. People can be shallow and prefers friends they believe are on their level or below their level. I lost a friend of 20 years, when became an nurse. She just stopped talking to me and started to make post on FB throwing shade at me. We’re haven’t spoke in 9 years and I’m ok with it because I realize the friendship wasn’t genuine if my success bothers her.
This has happened many times to me over the years. I just learned to quietly leave. Had one former friend get mad about me stopping inviting her to things after 6 months of her ghosting to hang out with her problematic bf. They only pop back up when they need emotional support when their partner makes them upset. Life’s too short for half a** friends or relationships
“Emotional support “ . They use your kindness to cope and grieve the situation until they get back again. I quit being available for people like that.
Fumi, another fantastic video. I have a story to share.
My best friend Amanda and I were thick as thieves. We have been friends for over 40 years. I was with her through a divorce, remarriage, baby, separation, and relocation. I gave her space after she remarried. I gave her space after she became a mother. I'm still giving her space as she got a new job and went with her daughter to go to college. I can't tell you the last time we spoke on the phone. However, we exchange cards and text messages. We love each other come what may. I never took the change personally. Life is about change. I understand that but I miss the friendship that we had. I WILL be here when she picks up the phone. She will when she is ready. I think that she is embarrassed that she has two failed marriages. I'm not judging her. I hope that she knows that.
I'm reaching out today. ❣️
No she didn’t ghost you God doesn’t want her in your life because where you going is a whole new place! She’s stagnant she can’t possibly be your friend she showed you now let go🎉 God Bless You!❤
👏🏾👏🏾
My best friend met an old boyfriend and she is now a ghost. She told me they were just friends. I guess he replaced me. Im not replaceable...Your talk helped me more than you know!
My best friend of 10+ years did that to me with her first boyfriend. I used to blame the boyfriend, now she’s on her second one and made implications that he doesn’t like me much either (I don’t know why she keeps getting with these bummy guys that are always having issues with me simply just talking otp with her but ok very feminine energy to treat another woman as your competition). I didn’t realize how messed up it was of her to do that until now and until a couple months ago I was still always the one calling and maintaining contact. Even my ex called her a bad friend and I had to recognize he was right. Welp no more, I refuse to call her, text her, look at her socials, none of that. She’s been ghosted. Friends like that do not deserve good friends who always reach out and stuff. As much as social media spreads that that should be ok and we need to be understanding of people like that…we honestly shouldn’t. They’re bad friends.
We don't talk enough about the pain and grief that comes with the demise of friendships. I had to say goodbye to a friendship of more than a decade abt 2 yrs ago. We were thick as thieves or so I thought. She also had the habit of ghosting me and I'd be the one doing the reach out and it seemed like it gave her an ego boost. I also found out that she talked shet abt me behind my back a lot which I used to turn a blind eye to. She ghosted me 2 yrs ago and I decided to cut her off completely after then instead of doing the normal reach out.
Women tend to do that, no surprise there. Lost a friend 3x like this, she kept coming back when she was single but didn't even look at me when we run into each other and she was with her boyfriend.
Third time I said, I have a boyfriend and unfortunately I'm too busy with him so I don't have time for her.
Don't really believe in friendship between women, it's very rare. Most women keep friends around as "filling" until a man comes along.
Your negative experiences have tainted your view. Female friendship is important and valuable. Get better friends instead of spewing toxic nonsense on the internet ma'am.
As women, we sometimes take on and expect too much from the people in our lives. It creates too much pressure and the object of our focus needs to hit the pause button. Men give one another space. They can let months pass without drama. It’s the one thing that they do well.
Men are different because they often times have superficial relationships with one another, so it’s nothing for them to not be in touch for months. They don’t cultivate meaningful relationships with one another like women do.
When this happens it hurts, however rejection can be protection. If someone is involved in a healthy happy intimate relationship and they appear to be distancing themselves it makes one wonder! I would venture to say …
It’s not you!! You’re NOT THE PROBLEM!!!💕
As an introvert, I can totally understand her. It feels like I lost a limb! It hurts and cuts so deep and bad. I learnt the hard way that, “ It didn’t happen to me, It happened for me.” I needed the few friends to leave for that season because there was always something that required my growth and attention and I wouldn’t have done it as best as I did if they had stuck around. Those that came back, always noticed my growth, a piece of art that I had bought, new furniture, a new attitude….even a new pet!!! Meaning my life had to go on in their absence. Was it ok? HELL NO. Did I cope?? YOU BETCHA. I roll a whole lotta differently now. This too shall pass. Good luck Dr. Sis!!!!!! Cheering you onward and forward!!!😘
Aunty Fumi is back with the stories I am here for it I love that your husband always appears in the beginning of the video ❤😂
I feel the same way Aunty Fumi. Where’s they crossed me, is where they lost me. Forgiveness does NOT require reconnection.
I can't hear you CB let me give you a 🎤🎤🎤🎤 so that we can hear you perfect boo 🥰
True
I think another thing that we should remember is that our friends are their own individual people. Just because we love having their company doesn't mean that they don't enjoy just enjoying company by themselves. Maybe they disappear for a long time to figure themselves out and then when they come back the friendship isn't the same, because they are no longer the same. Everyone is living life through their own perspective and their alone, and whether we like it or not, they don't have to raise their hands to aske permission if they are allowed to go and change or not. We can only put up or own boundaries and keep those who align with our values. Just because we grow apart doesn't mean they have instantly become evil, It just means that our time to come together and be close has ended. And that's that.
I must say that this is a damn GOOD advice! I know her feeling so well. Female friendships can be DEEP and when it breaks, so hurtful. My friendship of 20 years came to an end some years ago owing to her new bf (that she knew I'd not approve so kept it away from me) ; a betrayal and other minor (solvable) issues. I think we both tried but she was not forthcoming, esp. about her relationship. I was soooo grieved to have lost the closeness we once shared and cried for months but eventually I moved on. She has tried to come back - but the relationship is not the same and frankly I am no longer available like that. I love what we had and every now and then , Iwish her a happy birthday etc but I am not chasing after the relationship. In many ways, it has freed me to pursue healthier friendships with people of similar interests and values and who are moving in the direction I am travelling. I am also not as clingy. Grieve sis, and then MOVE on.
Why weren’t you approving of her bf? Did he have not great character?
@@ariah457 He was opposite of everything she said she wanted (I suspect she was getting anxious, and pressurized about being single being African, over 30 AND unmarried). And the nature of our relationship was that we were truthful to each other about these things. And I guess she didn't want to hear. They are married now...
Omg! Excellent advise Fumi. I'm going through this right now and Im your age. A verrrrry close friend of over 25 yrs just dropped out of my life for nooooo aparent reason and she just stopped communicating with me with the exception of a few sporadic short txts. I did absolutely NOTHING to cause this. I have always been nothing less that an extremely good and solid friend. After many weeks of short txts, she suddenly sent me $200 for my birthday at my favorite spa. I DONT GET IT! Clearly if she's sending me this kind of gift I did nothing to her and this isn't about me. Still it's verrrrry hurtful. I would never do this to anyone. I'm angry and hurt but I refuse to chase her or stay where I'm not wanted. I can't hold a friendship together by myself, it takes two people. So I'm giving her allllllllll the space she seems to want. Clearly I need a new tribe. 🤷🏽♀️
Fumi you always have the best advice. My “friend” from childhood (over 40) years was not a friend at all. Everyone around me saw it but I never did until about a year ago. Too much detail to go into here but like you I’ve mourned that relationship and moved on. The lesson for me in this situation has been to know the difference between a “friend” or someone that you’ve known for a long time. Just because we had the years the true quality of a friendship was never there 💔
This hits hard as this can also be applied to marriages as well. I wish you the friend that you were to others to be returned to you 100 fold!
Amen and Amen Back to the sender in Jesus name 🙏
I know of this situation. One presently when she wants information will message or call. She messaged about 20 minutes for information. I have not responded 😐 😕
Well said 💯
She were your best friend, but you was not her best friend.
I like the woman that marches in your introduction. I always wait to see her and I love your. Your energy is contagious. I love you. Your new friend.
The one thing I learned through a similar situation is that you can't really equate true friendship to the number of years you've known a person. People pretend well, and it's best to pay more attention to who they are rather than the amount of time you've had with them (this goes for relationships/marriages as well). There are people in my life that I've known for a handful of years who have been real friends to me than the ones I've known for decades whom I've since cut off. If you can stand on your own, you will have no problem identifying the difference. Lots of time, people force relationships or endure constant disappointment from others because they're afraid of being alone. If you learn to enjoy your own company, you won't feel as bad when these things happen.
I can definately relate on all u said here.
My dear Auntie Fumi. I swear you need to write for the Chicken Soup for the Soul series. Your words and voice always gentle yet powerful, direct and fair. This video was a reminder that I needed. So called friends don’t like when you elevate to the next level. But it’s not a “me” problem, it’s a “them”problem. I thank you very much. ❤
As someone who has little to no friends, this hurt me. This is not bragging. I am trying to point out how depressing it is to loose the very few friends left in your life. Sometimes you begin to question if you're problem which leads you to blaming yourself and literally killing yourself over these friendships. Some of my friends moved over seas which caused phone calls to decrease. I had a friend who went through depression and she wouldn't talk to me and i was in contact with family doing everything to help her. Her family basically brought her back home and I haven't heard anything since, even after trying to call. Now I have another friend moving across borders for a new job ( Ian happy for them) and I wanted to do a goodbye dinner for them, I'll pay. This friend has avoided me recently and won't even look at me. I didn't think too much about it probably they're busy planning to move and stuff but it hurts that its happening again. I have more stories of how friends just ditched, left or abandoned me. I barely have friends and making new ones is hard for me. I am fustrasted and really just heartbroken 😭 life sucks
I was just thinking about what I need to do to make more friends. I open up my heart to very few people -making friends 4 me is hard. I take everything seriously, and every relationship too. I'm told I need to lighten up. But one is who one is.
I've kept losing them, to relocation overseas, to marriage, to babies, to other friends - It hurts so much to loose these, Sometimes the loss is gradual... A thinning down of the intensity and/or frequency of the conversions. Then someone with whom I spoke every other day is just gone...
I've wondered too if the problem is me. Is it that I need too much and drive them away? I think Im a good friend, they say so too...
I wish I could adopt the open door policy. Generally I'd leave it so open and hold on tight to the relationship. But when I close the door, (after I've cried, held on and mourned) I really just replace it with a wall.
But I'd so love to be breezy and be fresh air and just have a ton of good friends. Good people are out there. I'm 37, do people start new friendships at 37? Cus I hear pple say, we've been friends since primary/secondary etc... I don't have that.
It's not supposed to be this lonely.
Excellent Excellent advice Fumi she was never a friend and you were a place holder until a man came along. It is hard to mourn the death of any relationship, however u will be okay . We all had that friend we thought would be here thru thick n thin. Imagine being friends/sista girls for 40 years then b ghosted:(
moved on with your life and leave ‘’some ‘’ room for others to come in !!! Peace& blessings🥰
Very quick advice. I have had this happen to me over and over. I use to take it to heart and I will dwell on it. Once I realized I was not the problem, it was more their personal issues, I started making plans for myself. Doing things for myself. I met more people, and I had more people gravitate toward my energy. All the optimism and positivity made space and attracted the same kind of people like myself. Now I have so many friends. We make plans, take trips and go out to eat. I am never alone. Eventually, those friends came back into my life but now I am so busy I try to include them but it is really up to them. I kept living my life.
People come into your life for a REASON , a SEASON or a LIFETIME---all to teach us something--positive or negative. So, wish her well and be successful in medical school! Blessings.
I was a little harsh but sometimes you have to leave people where they are🌸🌺🌸
Nope. I recently lost a friend the exact same way. At the end of the day if someone shows you how much you mean to them Or don’t, believe it and move. The world is abundant ❤
Congratulations to her!! I’ll be starting residency soon too. Dear sis, please focus on yourself, your ex-friend knows where to find you and when she returns (because she will) erect some boundaries. I wish you the best in life!! You have a beautiful soul so I’m sure you’ll make more worthwhile friends.
Congratulations to you sis! What an amazing accomplishment!
I really thank God for my mom. She said never cling unto a particular friend. Be friends with everyone and that really helped so when one ghost me, 😂 it won’t hurt as much as if I clung to one. And I can define my friends. Some only reach out if they need help or someone to pray with. Some if they need a listening ear. I’m there for all of them but I don’t have a bestfriend. My sisters are. My mom sang it in our ears to be there for each other. I’m in Funmi’s era and it’s worse these days as isolation is destroying socialization.
Friends are seasonal! They come and they go!
I had a friend (who I treated better than one of my sisters) of over 30 years ghost me for no reason. I won't chase after anyone so I let it go and got on with my life. My advice to this young lady is 'love her & let her go,' she was never meant to be a life time friend. Friends come and go, you will make more friends, hopefully more genuine ones... Time waits for no man so make the most of every day God blesses you with.
I find this ironic since it’s women’s month. I can admit I have friends where I can go months without talking but when we do we catchup for hours. We are all a year out of college so it’s understandable that we will drift apart sometimes. However, I have lost friends due to their insecurities and poor relationship choices. You’re right fumi you have to set boundaries. I set a boundary with a friend I just recently reached out to after two years. She was in an abusive relationship seeming to seek advice but not taking it. Women please learn to not dump on your friends. I know we love to vent but sometimes it is draining especially when you want the best for the other person.
THIS!!!!!! 🎯👏🏾🙌🏾
I don’t even listen to any friends trauma dump. Therapists have said that most people who trauma dump on you associate with their struggles and will find it hard to respect you or remember you when they’re no longer struggling so I don’t listen to negativity from any friend neither do I tell them my own struggles
Dear Fumi
Love your channel.
You are so full of life and such a beautiful Soul !!!
I Know what you mean about Friendships that fail.
I was nieve no boundaries,used and abused by many over my lifetime.
I was married to my best friend's brother, he was an evil Toxic Narcissist . She was a milder form of him.
She took his side, Supported him no matter what.
50 years of friendship down the drain. Guess what I even looked after their mother a schizophrenic who got Dementia later in life.
I cut the chord of Emotion, friendship, got rid of the toxic married surname, won't die with an abusers name on my head. totally cleansed my mind.
Like you say Fumi it's all about self love.
Keep on giving that Beautiful Ora and Guidance Lovely Lady.
🙏🌹🙏🌹🙏🌹
Yes, it's painful when these things happen. It's easy for people to say just get over it, but it takes time. You're not weird, it's weird when people do things like that! Good luck on your residency!
You dropped major gems in this video. I needed to hear this. Letting go of energy that no longer serves me.
Amen
Fumi,That’s so unfortunate for this lady to be ghosted by a friend over a man.Someone ghosted me almost two-years ago it was such Hurtful feeling,Praise God for Healing my heart .I hold no Malice or Bitterness,I will Never let the behavior of another change my Energy from positivity.
Fumi, yes, you ARE a whole vibe!! You give the most straight forward and comforting advice. I’m learning so much from you. Such an elegant, classy, gorgeous sweetheart. So thankful for stumbling upon your channel. 👑🙏🏾💕
Sometimes friends do things and it makes you leery of others...my husband of 17yrs had an affair with my friend...divorced me and married her and it took me a while to get close to a woman
So sorry honey.
Ouch!
Sorry my dear 🙏🏽 Perhaps they did not deserve you, take it as a blessing dear. I wish you the best 💕💕💕
DAMN. I'm so sorry you went through that sis.
Karma is coming for the both of them!
Heavy, heavy. I also woke up I had many wicked friends whom I love but they were never a friend to me. Therefore, I let them go and went on to be my own best friend to myself. Continue the work you set out to be. Always encouraging to all.
Aunty Funmi thank you for taking this topic. My friend of over 20 years decided to treat the friendship distant when she got married. I learnt to live without the friendship. I was sad but I am getting through it.
Sad that woman sometimes do this when they get a man, just back burner their friendships but funny thing is men with good friends would never do that. If even once a year for the annual bbq or sports event they’ll still link and have drinks.
Fumi, thanks for this video. it just helped me end a toxic relationship filled with silent treatment and stonewalling. Initially, I thought I was the problem and tried to be clingy because I was afraid of losing my best friend but there are something you cannot control I guess other people's decisions.
After watching your video, I decided to send a polite message that I was tired of trying to work things out and I needed space. At first I felt afraid because I've always been avoiding confronting the uncomfortable situation but after sending the message I feel unburdened.
This hit close to home for me too. I feel I've just experienced sth similar. It's hurtful but yea we gotta move on n live our lives
You gave her the best advice. I hope she takes it. I have been there and done that with so called friends and some family members.
I’m so sorry your friend hurt you so badly. Some people just don’t appreciate the value of a good friend. God bless you for sharing your heart, your wisdom, & your experiences with your followers. We are the better for it. Thank you 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Some people’s loyalty has expiration date. It’s a hard lesson but you don’t need them to be happy.
Thank you so much my Sister from another mother! Peace and Blessings from Sunny Southern California 🌞 ☀️
well said, Fumi. very wise words. there is a time to leave the door ajar for someone and a time to close the door behind you and lock it shut. in either case - a person moves forward, head held high. life is too short. make it fabulous - FOR YOU!
Bless you Aunty Fumi for this episode it spoke to me as I'm currently going through a similar thing and God knows my heart was broken but I'm mending it day by day
Amen, same here
Fumi, I watch all your videos, but never commented. I LOVE💕 this Sister2Sister Episode - Self Preservation IS Self-Love❤
Thank you for that talk. It made me feel better , even though it was about someone else.
Hi 👋 watching you from Trinidad and Tobago 🇹🇹. I started following you last year. I love and enjoy your sessions.
What about "friends" who as soon as they start a relationship they forget about you until it goes "sour". They remember you when they are "singke" again...smh
You know sometimes we need to be real with ourself too… Not All but in SOME cases we can pin point moments were we questioned the friendship or felt like we needed a break or that it was just a stagnant friendship and that we could… dare you say it “move on” do with out not miss them and discontinue the friendship like your favourite lipstick with short notice or no notice… but you know all those years, all the photos, memories, going to each others family functions, and never really having any arguments but just a few disagreements that you always recover from. So you tell your self no, that’s so negative and you pride yourself on being a good friend… but then things and certain situations start going over your head and your missing red flags and cues. And suddenly your friend did what you would never do to them “ghost you”.
It’s all about respect your friendship.
Sis Fumi thank you so very much for this video. Infact, I'm in that place right right now with a close friend. I was confused as to what to do but with this video I think I know what to do now. Thanks so much.
Thank you Fumi you said what I already knew. Thank you for the confirmation. ❤
It’s part of life and in some cases you will be blindsided and hurt when you realize they don’t wanna be your friend anymore.
Sometimes it’s just run it’s course you really were friends, good vibes and good times! It was real, you weren’t imagining the friendship so cherish the memories when they pop in your head or move on and let go when certain memories trigger. Give thanks for the present and look forward to a good future.
Now for the friends that ended up being two faced ya it peace ✌🏿 out for me. Some say “I could care less” seems like you still care… but me, I Do Not Care At ALL dead or alive whether you’re rested in peace or burning in the pits not even a thought… Now what should I make for dinner tomorrow? Because life goes on and I gots to eat!
I have learned to embrace the power of goodbye. When someone wants to leave, let them go. Some friendships are seasonal and once that season ends, you have to let go. Their assignment has ended. Often times, we get caught up in the memories of who a friend was and not who they are now.
This message is just what I needed to hear. Great timing sis!
Great talk Fumi! I always do that not everyone you come across is meant to walk the path with you! #ByeGirl
Yes indeed these are TRUE words of WISDOM that I have only discovered recently in the past few years; I'm 45 now...me holding onto toxic friendships for decades that gave me many red flags throughout the years, but I have finally let those people go. In hindsight I feel like (saying this in my NIgerian dad's accent....) "a STUPID BOY!" LOLOLOL
❤❤❤❤Preach Fumi... Lots of women/men need to hear and accept this message.... #itsnotaboutyou #boundariesareveryimportant
Tbh, I understand of being ghosted but also at the same time you need to stop trying to get their attention and just focus on you and your life. If your friend wants to ghost you then fine but don't be saying that she's or he's a bad person because of it because everyone in life has a different path to go to. Not everyone is going to be with you all the time as friends, you need to focus on you and etc.
I have a friend of 28 years. Since high school whenever she has a man she ghosts me. I still love her. I accept her where she is. When we get together its ok, when we don't I focus on myself and other relationships.
I so needed this tatti Fumi. You are always on time with your messages. Out here serving it up 😘🙏🏽💕
Typical of us women. Backbiting, envy and jealous. God help us. I love the way you keep your hair...clean and simple
It hurts 😔some times paths can head in different directions. It’s called life lessons, it’s not about good or bad or her hurting you . She might be hurting. You both will, grow. What you learn along the way will be knowledge ,wisdom and understanding. If some were down that road your paths meet again then you will know if in fact she was an important part of where you are at that moment. Forgive and don’t hold on to the past. She if who she is and who you have become still want to have that connection.
My Parish priest / university chaplain used to have a slogan " Come when you can , go when you want for events. True sis Fumi same applies to friendships and we wont be disappointed by unrealistic expectations.
Its real talk I've had friends hurt me that I loved and were dear to me. And yes they can't come back. Even when I look out for their kids they themselves cannot come back and say a word to me.
Fumi, we are at 600k. One million will be this year❤
Fumi ! I lovvvvvve this. You really told us the truth, has always. This is friendship wisdom, thank you! Beautiful Soulful Queen.
FUMI thank you so much for this information. I am going through this with my sister who has "GHOSTED" me. Yes, it is hard but I am listening to what you have said and will put it into practiced. ❤❤🌹🌹🙏🙏
A friend ghosted me twice and came back begging. I can relate
I use to be in a circle with many friends but ever since we all graduated from secondary school, we all ghosted one another. I just understood because we're building and growing in our various dimensions.
I just wish them well in their various areas of life.
More so I love myself now more and love who I'm becoming.
You've given me clarity on this friendship ghosting better Ma.
Thank you for this wonderful episode auntie Fumi
This episode really hits home for me. I've had this happen twice in my life with really really close friends one of whom very abruptly moved away. I was working a new job and got a text from her that she had to move the following day to a state halfway across the USA. For me, long distant relationships are very difficult so we drifted away, she had been my best friend and maid of honor in my wedding. Many years later I met another woman who became a really good friend and she very abruptly stopped talking to me and I never figured out why to this day. It's been about 6 or 7 years now and I see her online sometimes and I've messaged her but there's just no reciprocation. It's really hard to deal with something like that but it's life and you've got to learn to move on like you said and live your life and focus on those who truly do love you and support you, that's all you can do. Thank you for this video, Fumi. You are awesome and I love your content. Keep it up! 🥰❤️👍🏼
I agree with you Fumi. I love and cherish my own company. I had to let people go to go people who I would have given my last to and have been they for them through thick and thin. But letting go is not the end of the world.
Some people can chill with you but can not stay with you. FACT thank you for your truth big hugs beautiful 🥰
Wow wow wow ! Thank you so much Fumi ! This was so healing for me. ❤
Oh Fumi you described exactly what happened between me and a so-called friend of mine, and God told me to not look back it was like it was a deliverance from her and I’ve been doing good ever since I earned my degrees bought a brand new house built from the ground up my kids are doing good. God is good.
I love Sister 2 Sister!!!! ❤ we need one at least every 2wks.
Once a week please🙏🏾🥺🥺
Agreed
When wisdom is beautiful and precious, this is another touching post. I hope the lady allows herself to grief and is gentle with herself. It's ok you were hurt, grief and allow yourself to recognise what it says about your needs. Not everyone will be able to meet these no matter how much you love them but some or one may.
Hi my darling, I like the look, you look stylish no matter how you mix it up. You are so right about friendship. I had who I thought was a friend, and she was telling everyone in her town about what was going on in their marriage. I told her that she.shouldn’t tell her personal business. When her husband found out what was being said, she accused me of telling him, when I really didn’t know him and only spoke to him 2 times when we they were in a store. After the gossip reached him, she ghosted me. I thought she was my best friend, and for a while, it really hurt me.
But now, I don’t care if I never see her again.🙌
Good afternoon, Fumi. Well said!!.. You Are and will be an incredible mom to Adrian. Especially in his adolescent years and early adulthood. Due to the amount of life experiences you've endured; your wisdom of handling life challenges are truly needed and greatly appreciated. I'm sorry you've had to endure, so much hurt in your life... I'm happy you've retrieved several folds of blessings; by enduring true love from both your husband and your son... As for the individual that betrayed and hurt you; guilt is the lowest vibration, any human being could Ever endure. Please continue to trust your intuition and do not let her back into your circle. Not only for your protection. But, for the protection of your immediate family.
Fumi I’m still mourning the loss of my childhood friendship of over 30 years. We didn’t have any issues (that I am aware of) but recently I started picking up strange vibes but I chose to ignore to avoid causing issues. One day I called and there was no response from neither her, her two girls or her husband, no one answered and no one returned my calls. It was at that point I realized I was BLOCKED. I was perplexed! I then came across your video where you spoke of your girlfriend and what she did at your wedding. That’s when I started looking back and realized there were red flags all throughout the years that I missed. It hurt like hell. I’m an only child and craved a sister-sister relationship which I got from her and now it has ended. But I guess as you’ve just said for whatever reason, I just let her be, mourn in silence and give that energy to the active participants in my journey of life.
I have had friends who did this to me . Women are very fickle. When this happened to me I remember this old saying if you love someone let them go, if they come back then it was meant to be. Some friends when they are in love they become indifferent to their friends and their lives are encompassed by the man ond no one else. I have been betrayed, spoken down to by so-called friends but I have come to realize that people opinion of me is no business of mine and this is liberating.
Unfortunately some women drop their friendships when they meet a man.
I say good loyal girlfriends are worth their weight in gold!
Keep your true friends, the ones that are with you through thick and thin!
This ghost friend is young and doesn’t know the value of friendship.
Keep your head up and say to yourself lessoned learn and let it go and move forward and don’t look back!
Maya Angelou said “when someone shows you who they are Believe them the First Time!”
P.S. I’m 66 years old, I have close friends for over 50-60 years.
Thanks for this advice. It’s important that we do what’s good for our own peace. If it gives them peace to be ghosting, then we shouldn’t have to feel guilty for moving on from them and keeping our own peace. Friendship requires communication and effort from both sides.
There is no coming back bc now I don’t trust you w/ my heart my secrets my dreams! Bf’s do NOT just walk away…that’s completely NOT what a “best” friend would Do!
Unfortunately in the case of this woman… she prolly overlooked this person she calls bf “diss”, for so long till it’s not even funny!
Woo woo woo
It's good you provide updates on news events and advice but I loved your previous content it was so refreshing to listen to something that wasn't drama or negative.
I agree 🥰💯
Fumi ! You are a blessing ! A God send, impeccable advice! Thank you 😊. I love your channel so much!
Good afternoon sister Fumi, solid advice as always you have been such an inspiration with me through your UA-cam channel, thank you sometimes we just have to let people go even families so we can find our own peace and happiness. Love from Canada🙏
Fumi, thanks for this. I’m currently going through the same thing. It’s really hurting. but like you said life goes on. I’m gradually moving on.
God bless you. ❤
Fumo, why does it feel like you are talking to me directly? My best friend over about 15yrs told me randomly she was a bad friend and distant herself after I moved in with my boyfriend and got engaged. She texted me yesterday, I was busy and took too long to respond, and she edited the texts with just “🖤”. I was triggered. I texted her back and told her I was busy and was unable to respond immediately. No response. Your words made me sob. The 5 months we’ve been apart, I’ve been doing my own thing. I’m connecting with other women. I’m her children godmother. I have no children. I still send bday gifts, but I will not allow her to half step in my life. She was my maid of honor. She has been replaced. I do not need the confusion. Her motto, “when ppl show u who they are, believe them”. I see her. I’m out. I may cry, but I’m done.
Wow!!!!! You give such wonderful advice. I really appreciate you.
Yikes. This happened to me but from an entire group of friends that left me. For me also, there were red flags that I chose to ignore but even though they showed me their true colors, it was so so very hard to get over.
I’ve always thought it was karma for me doing the exact thing just opposite. I moved away and ghosted my entire friend group because I didn’t have the communication skills to tell them I didn’t like how I was treated by them, I just dipped out without a word.
we all have tough life lessons to learn from relationships. Thanks so much for this advice. As for me it's very timely. God Bless you my dear Fumi!
I have learnt that as you continue to evolve, it also affects your friend circle and choices. It is life. However, we have to understand that despite the atrocities our "friends" may have done to us, we have to forgive and wish them well. God is love and forgiveness is paramount. I have forgiven and moved on and God has placed me in a place where I have a small circle of impactful friends.