I HATE MY PARTNERS FRIENDS, THEY ARE A BAD INFLUENCE ON HIM! 👀 | SISTER2SISTER | Fumi Desalu-Vold
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- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
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Literally became teary when I heard you say he lights up when his friends are around cause that’s when he can be himself 🥴🥴🥴 great advice ❤️
GIRL YOU HAVE TOLD THE TRUTH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE SO SMART !!!!!!!
So true!
Fumi kept it 100. I got divorced after 20 yrs. This smoking situation was one thing wrapped up in the mix. It never went away. Also, my biggest regret is hurting my daughter. But I had to leave and hopefully in the future I can show her what a healthy marriage looks like. There was no UA-cam back then. Plz listen up young women. We have some decades of experience and know how these situations play out. Don't make the same mistakes. God bless
Bless you
Bless you too
18:46 My fav part of this video " take your lippe, take your eye liner, your eye shadow.... and kiss him goodbye.... Absolutely love Aunty Fumi❤❤❤❤❤
And that my ladies is some sound advise. Fumi's giving more Grace Jones to me.. Fabulous..
💯💯💯💯❤👍🏿👏🏾
Yes!!! I was thinking Grace Jones too💜
...OR I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Blaxploitation era but I get the Tamara Dobson, otherwise know as Cleopatra Jones vibe...PARTICULARLY the sequel, Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold where she wears an evening dress within the same style scope of what Fumi is wearing. Tamara Dobson was also a model in that era of the '70s prior to acting.
Yess!! Fearlessness, unapologetically fabulous, perfect dark skin. I love them both!!
Every time I watch these I'm reminded of the kind of love I deserve.
Amen and every time you watch these remember the love you deserve is coming to because you know what it looks like and won't settle. That is my wish for you and everyone reading this.
You and me both!!
His friends are a reflection of him, you’re in love so you can’t see the same flaws in him. You are seeing the Potential and not being objective. If he smokes it’s because he wants to, don’t blame his friends. These are the red flags 🚩 miss them now you’ll regret later.
Exactly, birds of the same feather flock together. Love is blind so she can't see the same behavior in her boyfriend or maybe chooses to ignore and hope it will change. Women are good at ignoring the red flags, sometimes believing they can just nurture it out.
Preach it. Told my friends this exactly. Many thought their man was different from his friends based on what he said but turned out even worse, smh.
I made this mistake, thought he was a saint amongst them
@@adeolaoke4165 that's why it's always good not rush into a relationship, get to know the person- the real person no matter how over the heels in love you are ., it will save you alot of heartaches and headaches.
I agree! I missed them and now I regret !!!
Completely agree with you Fumi. I had problems with my ex husband and his friends before we were married and they were also part of the reason why we got divorced. It always become a problem.
Same with me
Welp. You know they say red flags look like Six Flags when you're having fun. 😕
OAN: Auntie Fumi gives me SUCH Grace Jones vibes- the skin tone, the fearlessness, the confidence, the FABULOUSNESS! 😍
Having heard this Auntie Fumi, nothing’s left to say! Thank you Auntie Fumi. I’m always waiting for your sister to sister videos. Most of the times I don’t comment, no need as everything has been said.
True that🙌🙌🙌💕💕💕
Influenced? All his friends are annoyingly similar? Sounds like he is only acting on his best behaviour with his girlfriend. Btw you look fabulously glamorous Fumi.
I love the glam! You give solid, and sound relationship advice. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
Your advice to the young lady was direct and honest. I used to smoke and like you, I just quit. Not bothered with the aides or other nonsense. Each person has a choice and only they can make it. You can not change, make a person go against their grain, nor their willpower.
Auntie Fumi!!!!!! You hit the nail on the head. I love the fact that you were so honest with her with excellent delivery. My husband was a smoker as well and when we had our children he also quit without anything. The love you have for you're husband is wonderful to see. Btw I also have an Adrian who is my youngest son out of our 5. Great Name! Lol
I wasn't going to watch this because I didn't think I related to it since I'm single, but I'm so glad I did. Constant reminders from Fumi to choose yourself first and speak up about the things that bother you. Thank you!
« we want more of the slap, scratches and falls before we admit and learn the lesson ». So sad but so true. Thanks Auntie Fumi
I love you more every passing day. Hugs to you, Ole and Adrian. Xxx
All that Auntie Fumi said is very true because you already hate some things about him and you are not the one to change him until he decides to
Well said Auntie Fumi, these issues need to be ironed out at the very beginning of the relationship
He will not change !
They are his friends not yours.. what you see in his friends are the things you are not liking about your partner. He knows who they are. Trying to come between him and his friends will not work out well for you. You barely know your partner yourself after only 5 MONTHS. What if he is the one influencing them? YOU need to figure out if this is the life you want. Being at odds with your partner. . . Not being comfortable with your partner. . . He is who he is. . . He is a grown man that makes his own decisions.
Bitter pills heal the Soul.
Truth hurts. Ask me. I've been there.
God bless you Fumi.
Well said. U can't change a matured man.
So true
true facts
Why did I wave to Ole?!!! Lol!!!
This video was an eye opener for me. I was in a relationship (ended years ago) with a guy who I thought was being negatively influenced by his friends. I'd try to point out how I didn't appreciate how some of them would speak to me (disrespectfully) and he'd gaslight me by saying that they were just joking and I should lighten up (he'd chuckle when they'd make disrespectful comments and dismiss my concerns as unimportant). Turns out that it was only when we broke up that I realized that he'd been wearing a mask the entire time he was with me and had just been playing a part. Upon reflection I see that he was indeed the leader of the pack. A pack of very toxic individuals. I stayed in the relationship for far longer than what was healthy but in the end I consider myself lucky to have dodged a bullet. He married someone else within months of splitting up with me (unbeknownst to myself he was seeing her before he left me) and his best "friend" reported to me (I'd bump into some of his friends from time to time and we'd stop just to say hello as a formality) that he'd helped my ex hide an affair from his new wife (he'd drop him off and later pick him up from his lover's place). He seemed quite proud of the fact too. What I realize now is, while I thought this "friend" was a bad influence on my ex, it turns out instead that it was convenient for him to have such a person around. Like I said: toxic. Don't ignore these signs ladies: if he prioritizes his friends over you it's a huge, big, red flag! Not sure if it's relevant or not and am only mentioning it because it came up in the video but this happened in Italy and all the people mentioned are Italians. Lots of disrespect of women in Italy. I'm so sorry to hear about your Nigerian friend. I pray that she will receive support and that all will go well for her and her child and that the Italian laws will change. The Italian law does not allow a spouse to leave the country with their children without the other spouse's consent. While this is good for preventing kidnapping it also can keep people trapped in abusive situations. In my opinion the law should make allowances for situations where abuse can be proven to have taken place.
Fumi, your advice is spot on!! If the lady is showing disdain for his friends, she mistakenly thinks that a grown man is influenced negatively by them, there is a weak foundation on which to build friendship with him, much less a relationship, much less a marriage that stands any chance of success.
If this is not the most sound advice I have ever seen in the video ever I don't know what it is. Fumi this is a fantastic video 💯🔥👌✨ I truly can't stress how important it is to have a man who lives and dies for you.
Aunty Fumi you're the bomb!!!
Keep dishing out wisdom day by day😘😘😘
Hi Fumi..I am from the Caribbean..I love you and your energy..I totally agree with your answer..your advice to that young lady is on pointtt...what else more can we add..you covered it all.
I’m in love with everything, Mama😍. The glam, your laugh...I’m obsessed!!!❤️❤️❤️
Much love from SOUTHERN AFRICA.
Femi you are so wise!!! You remind me of my own Dad and his great advice on these matters!!!
You did really well in presenting this matter with genuine concern.
Sound and wise advice mamacita...EXCELENTE in fact. We make plans God has purpose right? I loved wear your Loius out of that relationship, Imma use that one Fumi.
Spot on advice 🎯.I really enjoyed this episode! I would love it if there were multiple questions per video
Lol we all cant get enough of her :)
@Oyade A right! I was sad when the video ended 😭 lol
When I first got married. My husband was still in touch with his ex-girlfriend .They were friends. He even introduced her to me at one point. When I told him how uncomfortable i felt he immediately terminated their friendship. Deleted her number and stopped communicating with her. Not that he was doing things on the side but it just felt strange to me. So if a man loves you, he will leave those things which will damage your relationship.
Fumi...I have a confession. I'm not really into makeup....I'm here for the advice and just to hear you talk and laugh. You have my day🥰🥰🥰
That’s me tooooo 😂😂😂😂
Honeyy you don't have to like them but you do have to respect them you also do t have to be around them if you don't want to. The reality is girl he's going to do what HE WANTS. Never forget that his actions are his alone...
Who could've explained to this queen better than you Fumi.
You just said it all! I just clocked 51 this month. I learnt about relationships the hard way. I started very early in life but naive while trying to navigate through life with hell of struggles on my own. Mine wasn't about smoking but her story brought back to me very sad memories and chills that words can't explain... Though it can never be the same, I am still healing.
The handwriting is very clear so much that she needs no glasses to see at all! I watched this particular episode 3 to 4 times and I lack words to explain how angry I feel that this sister is the one forcing herself on the guy. It is not about his friends now but this sister herself. Sister, flee! If you're reading this I tell you flee!
This sister is seeing a chain-smoker today? Fumi, there are more that she's yet to see and probably worse. I am not saying he shouldn't have friends, neither am I saying the man is bad but from the description about his type of friends, I think this lady is the stranger in there. She should leave that relationship and go love herself first, let the right person find her, love her and respect her. She is "sitting on a keg of gunpowder" and she is seated alone on the keg! RUN SISTER!
PLEASE do a liquid eyeshadow tutorial with recommendations!!!
How can i like this video more than once?. Thanks Aunty Funmi for this timely advice.
You are such a realist and I absolutely adore you! Why didn’t I stumble on you sooner!!! Please be my mama too…😍😍😍
Amazing advice!!! She breaks it down as if she's talking to each of us personally. Love her energy!!! Where did Miss Ross get that gorgeous head cover from?
Auntie Fumi. Thank you. I’m always waiting for your videos. Whether is a sister to sister, life updates or new clothes show. I don’t usually leave a comment or opinion, because everything has already been said. And I agree with it all...all that’s left to say is THANK YOU and leave a like! We need to get to 500k this year.
Fumi do you have any idea how precious you are to all of us? You are such a gem.
So true, so true beautiful and smoking hot Fumi. Trying to change someone is the first step to loose the joy and essence of a great relationship. Well said Fumi.
Spet wisdom all over right there, if she hasn't heard then she didn't want to hear. Powerful words. ❤️❤️❤️🇿🇦
So true fellow South African 🇿🇦🇿🇦
Hey girl, just greeting you because you're my homie, and I'm excited that I'm not the only one watching Aunt Fumi. Whenever she says "my followers from America and UK" I always think "Aunty SA is here too☺️".
Fumi, LOVE the sound advice you give and the extra dramatic "glam break up" at the end was to die for! I wish that follower who sent you the message all the best and hope that everything will work out just the way she hopes and will be able to have a heathy, loving and caring relationship with whomever is willing to go the extra mile. Lots of love, dear Fumi! (I love sister2sister!!!!)
@ T H IKR! She had me laughing so hard and LOUD when she fell back onto her chair! 😆😂😂😂😂
Yasss! The Glam Breakup is the way to gooo! 😄😄🙌
Best advice ever...run run for your life.
OMG Auntie Fumi, she is me.. my husband that I am separated from now. I met him smoking and I did not like it and voiced that and I let him convinced me that it would stop and it wouldn't be an issue between us. Yes, he did stop but it did not last, after the marriage he smoked more than when we weren't married. I disliked his friends because they are bad influence but I realized after a while that he smoked because he enjoyed it and the friends that would facilitate the smoking. All his family members said he would change after our child is born.. bullshit even today I had to talk to him about smoking in the car that he uses to pick up his child daily. Also, please note that our relationship got very toxic, we argued everyday to the point where he said I was acting like his mom by complaining about his smoking of weed. I learnt though, if you don't want a smoker don't date one- no he wont change that vice- he loves it and the company. His smoking took precedence over his marriage, his role as a husband and a father- because of his smoking he is always low on money and even want to borrow from me. Also, the weed smoking makes him very aggressive and he became verbally abusive.
You're right Aunty Fumi. The awkward and hard conversations are the ones that need to be had.
Love the look aunt Fumi 😍😍😍
Preach Auntie Fumi! I learned that just because you're in an exclusive relationship does not mean someone is "committed" to you.
It's not about holding out until you find a perfect one. Let's be real; we're all flawed. People CAN change though. It goes both ways, and I always believe committed partners have a responsibility to help each other become better human beings. But we only change for things that are sufficiently important to us, and if he's not willing, you have your answer.
U look absolutely gorgeous
Great advice Fumi! I couldn’t have said it better. I hope she listens and take heed and know that there are more fish in the sea. It’s time to go girl! RUN!
Honestly Auntie funmi.. I'm humbled by your response.... I love love sister to sister episodes... God bless you.
Greetings to family 💕💕💕
This right here is truth!
Absolutely correct. Today I saw your true artistic side , when you fail back on the chair , only an actor can do it and look fantastic , made me laught . Loveeeee your glamorous look.
Fumi you give such good advice i am so glad you are on youtube.
Thank you for your compassionate honesty Auntie Fumi
Your Advice is very Wise Advice. Recommending that she put herself first, & communicate her true thoughts to him (in a non-accusatory manner), about every known issue that she has with the relationship, is the only direction she should take. You presented her with (example after example) of predictable/probable outcomes; i.e. that the relationship will not work -- and will take her down the path of regrets. Some of the best advice, that I have ever heard -- Especially the (presumable outcomes for the future). I do hope she realizes the invaluable information that you have given her.
Fumi, That was Real Talk, Thank You!!!👏🏾🙏🏾🧘🏾❤️
I bet she wasn't expecting this honest answer. Great video!
For me my children are always no 1 I will never and have never put a man before my kids. As much as I love my partner he knows my kids come first always and he wouldn't expect anything else.
I just love Aunt Fumi! No sugar coating and absolutely knows her stuff! All people especially women need an advisor like this!
When he loves you he will build a life with you and Mode towards you. If not he is not the one
They are clearly not compatible with each other. It could crack up in the long run.
You are so right and my dad use to say to me ' Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are' Wow... She needs to let him go... His friends will be coming to the wedding and one of them will be the best man... What is she going to do...
Thank You for wise words Fumi.. Reality of life spoken 👌😊
I LOVE YOUR GLITTERY HAT. COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHERE TO BUY IT?
So so true..it is not easy to leave ..but believe it is harder to stay and soul destroying to leave when you have a little one in tow. .He is who he is ..a nice guy just not for you. You are so blessed to have the objective opinions of those without a dog in the race. I wish I had that..I asked him to leave after years of tears and 3 kids. While I didn't have a community of people like this I didn't listen to my inner self. Nothing we can say can change your mind if you don't believe you will be better off. I hope you know you are worth more than what you are getting. A life with him as long as his friends are not around...excluded when they are ..then back again when they are gone...That can't be right!!
I stumbled on your video and I absolutely LOVE you Fumi for this very honest and straightforward conversation 🤎🤎🤎 You are so right about everything and I hope this sister heard your message and dodged the bullets so she can start over where the grass is greener and have her happily ever after.
I have never even thought of it. I can actually call you my mom. My mum is 55 and you are 53. Such wisdom all the time ❤❤❤❤❤
Wow.
That helps alot.
She would be a great counselor.
BAE-BAEEEEE! Now that is a WORD from a mature woman from around the block! I am 51 and I would tell you THEE EXACT same thing. Fumi....you preachin' now Suga!!!!!
Fumi, you are such an inspirational and wise woman. I am older than you but I do smile every time I listen and watch you. Every young man and woman should subscribe and learn from you. Thank God for you. May God bless you and your beautiful family. 🙏
Here and watching💃💃💃. Fumi nation
Fumi you quoted my grandmother so I know what is coming is GOLD. Listen up ladies!
Fumi is spot on. A man will be seriously offended if his friends do not like the woman he loves. The fact that he’s not bothered means she is not that important to him. She’d better not wait that two years because they will be a waste of her time.
Fumi you are amazing on so many levels - thank you, thank you, thank you for being you.
Exactly, there is a lot of red flags in this relationship, girl it is best to walk away now before it's too late, if someone show you who they are from the start, you better believe them, don't ever think you can change someone, you can only change yourself, I hope you take Fumi's advice and put on your louboutins, and walk away, I wish you well and all the best.
Yessss, listen to this wisdom. Marriage illuminates what is and what’s to come! Do NOT fall for his potential SEE what is and decide whether or not you want to commit to what he is NOW (including:if he decides not to change) because that is what you are committing yourself to( “the what is”). Divorce is expensive: emotionally, spiritually, and financially!!!!!!!!!
That cap is giving me life Fumi. I need that in my life where did you buy it?
Yes... Please tell where did you get it
Wise words my sister no sugar coating your advices are honest and transparent .
Best advice ever....wishing I heard this six years earlier....love you funmi
That’s a great advice from you auntie Fumi. My mum and big sisters always tell me that and I agree with them and you, it’s just that sometimes it’s difficult to let go because you you may think that you love him or her but it’s better to leave as soon as possible before it leads to marriage because at that time it will be very very difficult especially with kids. I have seen people having that difficulties when divorced. I pray to God to help me choose wisely and make good decisions because having a peaceful and a good marriage depends on the choice we take when choosing a partner.
May God help all of us who are about to make the decision to marry.
You have said it All ma. It is either she can bear it or end it. As for the friends there is nothing she can do about it it is either she accept them or the relationship will not work out well.
Auntie Fumi, you ALWAYS give the very best advise. I actually look forward to your videos every week. I wish YOU could post more often but I completely understand why you don't!!
Fumi desalu void you're a refreshing human being 💕
Agree 100%. You deserve more. Not worth it.
Aunty Fumi out here spitting WISDOM!!! Facts on Facts!!! You both are good people BUT for other people
You look stunning as usual. Yes Fumi I love ❤️. I almost teared up when you were talking about Ola (your number 1)☺️
Yeees Auntie Fumiii. Teach me about liquid eyeshadow. I didn't know there was such a thing.
Gosh fumi that was awesome. Thanks for being honest and fearless.
I agree what what you have said. My take is, Her partner needs to grow up and get his act together. His friends can't provide the things she can. He can't have his cake and expect that she's not going to want a slice for herself! Most men don't want to get kicked out of their "boys club." I say if he cannot keep his word and man up to what he said is important to you both; then have a conversation about your needs in this relationship. Let nature take its true course.
Sending my love to you from Berlin Fumi!!
Fumi I love you darling!!!! Great advice!! I'm a new sub and I'm obsessed
Wonderful advice. I love how you were straightforward and didn't beat around the bush. And with such grace. 💖
Loveeeeeee you Fumi! Thank you for you beautiful insight always! May God continue to guide, protect, and bless you and your family! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Totally agree with everything you said. Would love a tutorial on the liquid eyeshadows. Love S2S ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
Very infectious smile you got there. I just said to myself, I love Sister Funmi. 💘
Morning my sister YOU look Fab! Your comments are most of my thoughts on this subject. Thank you
This is excellent advice, better listen up ladies. You can't change anyone. They have to want to change for themselves first especially if you are important to them. If you are trying to change them and they aren't then they are telling you straight up I'm not going to. 💯
Fumi gave real, hard to hear but REAL advice. It’s prob gonna be hard for her but she has to do what’s best for her. All the best girly
Love you Fumi, you feel like a sister I never had. Thank you ❤️
Birds that flock together STAY together ❤