@@TwoHotTakes i think if you include the timestamp in your description, it will block out the time for you on your video. Never tried to know if it'll work, but worth a shot
Love that 👍 Amazing grandparents are great, but no one has a right to be a grandparent. Kids and adults want parents, so you fucked up if the adult decides you’re bad enough that they don’t want a parent and do not want their child to have a grandparent.
@@clairer342 Been in this sitch, & even worse than jacking with a child's spouse is what these parents drag their own kids through in the process. I believe there is ZERO justification for treating kid(s)-in-law poorly. You treat your OWN child poorly in the process. Everyone grown needs to act like it.
If that m.i.l. was tough enough to confront a grieving mom at the baby's funeral she's tough enough to call and apologize on her own behalf. She's not sorry she just wants access to the new baby
Re: the drunk brother story How can anyone say he didn’t realize who she was when he literally said her name RIGHT BEFORE trying to kiss her??? If he said a different name then that would be an understandable excuse to say he mistook her for someone else, but he said HER. NAME. and immediately after tried to kiss her. He knew who she was.
I had a friend who was raped by her older brother and he continued with this behavior several years later. She told her parents because it messed her up mentally and it was no difference. Today they have a better relationship and she has "just put it under the carpet". It is so difficult when it comes to family and you otherwise have a good relationship with them. My advise to OP is to cut him off if that is what she needs to do. And do not get drunk or in an otherwise fragile state around the brother that he can misuse. Cause I'm sure he will.
That first story that mom doesn’t love her which is sad but to do that to her child after knowing how long she has been with her partner and demand that she not get married is vindictive and mean.
Why aren’t there more comments about the disgusting father sleeping with the daughters friend for years? Like that man literally deserves some jail time. But the mom shouldn’t be blaming the daughter for her husbands actions and him failing the marriage. She’s scapegoating because she knows her husband clearly didn’t want to be with her
I know!! I know this is so old but omg I ran to the comments after I heard that , it made me sick to my stomach. I thought for sure I’d see more ppl shitting on him and having some sympathy for the girl. It made me a bit sad to think OP might blame her friend as much as her dad.
@@nicholelasater4881 oh a pick me is a type of person(usually a woman) that degrades her/his gender for the validation of the other gender. Usually that person is also super sexists!
I am less concerned with the weird dynamic of the first story as everyone is adults, it’s not like anyone grew up together or was raised together. No one is biologically related. It also makes visiting the parents much easier as they’re both in the same place. 😹 My problem is with the secrecy and the implication that their choice should affect her and her fiancé at all and whether or not they get married. Perhaps his dad will see just how crazy her mother is and get an annulment. One can only hope.
@@el_kitteh720 yeah that’s the biggest problem by far. If anything the mom should have been like you probably have a longer life, so your marriage will bring you joy for more years, not the other way around. And it was rude to elope before them. The kids had dibs 😂
@@Lovethyself887 I only see the problem if they have been raised together as siblings since they were really young. Like my cousin is adopted. She was adopted when I was 4 and she was 1.5 years old. Technically, we don't share DNA, but she is still my cousin. If it would have been someone actually living in my household as my sibling, it would be even weirder. (Also, NOT IN AMY WAY SAYING I WOULD DATE MY COUSIN! JUST TOOK IT AS AN EXAMPLE!) But yeah. No shared DNA usually applies, unless you have grown up together and actually see each other as siblings.
I can’t imagine that there is any amount of alcohol that could make someone forget that they are trying to kiss their f*cking sibling! That man was already creepy towards her and the fact he pushed her to drink as soon as she turned 18 is just so sus. She should go no contact with the brother and if the parents aren’t repulsed by their sons behaviour and keep protecting him cut contact with them too. I hope op can heal from this
One thing I don’t think was really discussed in the first story, is that the fiancé’s dad went along with it too. It wasn’t just OP’s mom. Fiancé’s dad also thought it would be totally fine 🤦♀️
I think it's totally fine ,if they waited for op's wedding and were honest about it.It not really that bad of a situation ,but the way they go about is really disrespectful .And to tell your daughter to cancel her wedding , for what?! .There is a right way and a wrong way to go about it , and these people choose poorly.
To be fair since OP is the one writing the story, obviously it will be more about OP’s mom. That’s her fiancé’s dad not hers so she doesn’t have to talk about that side and probably didn’t have much of a conversation with his dad anyway.
On the first story, OP’s mother is now the ugly evil step-mother (mummy dearest). Very fitting for such a toxic mother. Fiancé father is also toxic, not as much. But he was easily manipulated due to his wife’s death; though two years ago. OP should still marry, go no contact with evil step-mother and low contact with FIL because you know that marriage will not last. I would possibly not invite FIL to the wedding, birth, holidays etc unless he could separate himself during those times because mummy dearest will not be attending. I would handle explaining, when asked, by saying the truth (point blank) especially in front of her. There is no reason to justify your marriage.
My Cousin earlier last year lost her son on mother's day sue to him choking on a marble. Her son was the sweetest and kindest boy on the planet. I still remember in the hospital how her mom and aunts were blaming her for not being able to save her son. It broke my heart seeing her there emotionless. I just can't imagine what those parents in story 2 went through. That Mother in Law may be grieving in a different way but she had no right to blame the death of her grandson on the mother.
Can we also talk abt how the first mom like didn’t NEED to get married, like I feel like knowing this man’s son is your daughter’s fiancé you would choose to just be “life partners” or long term bf&gf instead of jump straight to marriage after knowing the man 3 months
It could be her having an insecure attachment pattern and taking huge risks in relationships that aren’t that secure… or maybe she thought that by marrying the guy, she could force her daughter to call off the wedding
Honestly, older people just get weird and insecure when you get married before them. My husband’s older brother’s gf is like that. As soon as we got engaged, she talked incessantly about when BIL would propose and where they’d get married and starting to try for kids. Then, after we got married, it ramped up more with her showing rings apparently BIL was secretly looking at, saying her moissanite would be bigger than my diamond, and insisting on being referred to with marital family terms like SIL and DIL, calling my MIL her MIL, and interestingly not referring to me as a SIL herself. She sort of pretends I’m not in the family and is very mean to me. She makes efforts to discredit our relationship by saying they were together longer (they weren’t) and referring to us as kids. So, yeah, I never would have thought that someone would get jealous over a relationship of their partner’s sibling and wife, but… here we are😅
Fr! My mum and stepdad(whom I consider more of a father than my bio dad) have been together for more than half of my life and they have yet to get married, and they don’t plan on getting married any time soon lol
Oh my god I just realized, with the TW child death story, this mother in law offering to pay for the new baby could totally be her trying to establish financial rights and further proof that op is an unfit mother, and then try and get the baby taken away
Also, with the brother-trying-to-kiss-his-sister story, let’s not forget that right before he leaned in to kiss her, he said “Oh” and then HER NAME. So that’s clearly bullshit that “he didn’t know who she was”... LOL he literally identified her right before.
These stories make me appreciate mother-in-law, whom I consider my second mom, sooooooo much. Like this lady legit bought me nursing bras when I had my kids. ❤️
That’s so sad with the baby who died and mother in law blaming her. Wow! That mother in law is evil. This I will never understand when they are also mothers.
I don’t blame the ‘bad mother’ OP for declining to accept her MIL’s ‘apology’ and financial help with Baby #2. Money comes with strings attached and MIL’s clearly shown how toxic she can be when shit goes sideways, so the last thing OP would want if there’s another congenital heart problem is not being able to do what’s best for her child because MIL has more ‘power of the purse.’
The father and friend ‘grooming’ story. I feel so bad for OP. It’s like the mother is lashing out at the daughter because she is hurt by the news she had to tell her. She’s angry that she heard something she didn’t want to hear. Maybe she knew deep down but didn’t want to face reality and then when it came to light, she got furious at the fact that her denial was supported by hard evidence and it got too real for her. It’s wrong of her to be angry at OP, but she is deeply hurt to know that her husband is a predator. I think everyone needs therapy and the father need to be put behind bars.
I find it fucked up because depending on what the father did, the friend is also a victim. With cheating, the one in the relationship is supposed to guard it so even if she was an adult, he would be at fault. And he most probably groomed her to have sex with her on the day she became 18, she could also be a proxy for the daughter. Super fucked up.
The mother in law who said that to that poor woman.. I have no words. And the husband telling her to go to the "apology" dinner? How would he feel if it was him who got called a horrible father at his own child's funeral in front of everyone? Absolutely insane how little empathy his entire family show his grieving wife. No words.
@@Orion_TheyThem the pun really only makes sense the way the other person said it but I guess it's one of those things that if enough people say it one way that's what the saying becomes.
I once dated a guy that’s parents swapped with his sister’s boyfriend’s parents lol. Weirdest thing ever. His mom started dating the dad, and then the other mom was bitter and furious, so she then started dating his dad and they completely swapped houses and everything. The sister ended up breaking up with the guy later on and the parents are still swapped. It was super awkward for years and still is, and this past year, the sisters ex passed away. Talk about a lifetime movie. My ex was super messed up over it all
Love this podcast so much. Can you pretty pretty please do a narcissist father/parent episode in the future? I'm dealing with a narcissist father and would love to hear how other people's stories.
I’ve gotta admit, Alejandra and Lauren are my favourite people that you have episodes with. I don’t get really all that excited about popular guest from tiktok or otherwise, I always get more excited for episodes with Alejandra and Lauren. And Justin, he’s always got good responses!
You actually CAN win with a narcissist. You win by choosing to NOT engage with them. You win by setting extremely strict boundaries and never relent on that decision or position. Narcissists ABSOLUTELY hate if when they can no longer control, affect you, and/or manipulate them.
I know of sisters that married a pair of twins. It’s a strange dynamic but there’s technically no incest or anything like that. I feel like if the parents wouldn’t have had so much secrecy, and they hadn’t gotten married so quickly, it wouldn’t have been as bad. The mom was super toxic in saying the OP should cancel her wedding, but if they would’ve been open and honest that they liked each other, maybe they would have accepted their relationship eventually.
@@wisneta my friend gave that a try and she think it's alright. I think it's over-reaching to find an BFF right away, but it's a good change to find a hang-out buddy to start with. That point on is just if both parties want to care about each other more enough to become better friend eventually. best of luck to you know, moving is always a big change....
Really loving the podcast! Been binging them while driving because I personally don’t know how to navigate through Reddit. Just finished the entitlement episode and wanted to say since the ladies said they’re sensitive girls; I hope that (even though it’s easier said than done) you guys don’t take negative comments too much to heart. I know you guys think you sometimes sound stupid but I can just tell that you guys are educated women and are learning how to be better and better after each episode. And real talk.. I’d like to assume that most convos between best friends are usually lighthearted and la di da sometimes and not robotic. It wouldn’t be easy to listen to robots talking about saucy stories. Keep up the great chats ladies ❤️
That first story, that mother was insane. Unhinged! Also A lot of lgbtqi+ people have chosen families and we often have issues with our families. So when people say blood is thicker than water or friends are temporary but blood is forever. Doesn't apply for everyone.
Alejandra is my absolute favorite guest! I know it will be an amazing episode when I see her😁❤️ super cool girl evening vibes, really miss it in the lockdown
I feel like the woman with the drunk brother story should seriously consider going to therapy to help her work out her feelings and how to move forward. That’s twisted, and would honestly mess up my brain. I feel so terribly for her and this situation that he put her in.
I have a son with a conventional heart defect, if I lost my son during his surgeries and my ex's mom ever said something like that to me I would have cut her out of my life completely
The father sleeping with daughter's friend is disgusting to say the least,the father and friend should be ashamed of themselves but the mother blaming the daughter is crazzzy ,she just only found out and she didn't cover up for them which speaks volumes about her character,my heart really goes out to the girl🤍
@@Alejandra-hz6ct AHAHAH funny thing is i made this fake name in MIDDLE school bc i thought someone would steal my identity (like someone would want a 12 y/o’s identity tf) so this isn’t even my real name so i don’t even know how to change it so you’re ALL GOOD lmfaooo
Therapy needs to be more widely accessable and affordable. Some therapists are a hundred or two hundred for one hour. I definitely can't afford it and I'm not shocked more people don't have therapists, shits expensive! I choose food and a roof over my head. unfortunately that means mental health is not top priority 😵😵
these stories mind blow me tbh. I thought my family was crazy (i mean they are) but wow people can make decisons that are fucked up. also love your podcasts!! yall need more views!!
Kintsugi is the most beautiful way to see the part you guys talk about "breaking the glass" in a relationship. It can be beautiful after being fixed. My Husband and I definitely both broke the glass but it was created into something more beautiful with the gold of love. ❤
For the first story I'd just like to say that my Dad's dad and Mom's mom recently got married. Everyone is fine with it. My mom wasn't at first, but mostly cause me and my dad teased her ( him saying they're step-siblings and that I'm my own cousin so rightfully so to be upset at first on her part), but after thinking about it she was happy for her mom because she's been widowed for a long time. So I see no problem with the parents getting married. I do see problems with the eloping and not sitting down as adults and saying they've connected and fell for each other, but they can't say the kids have to break up! The parents REAAALLY need to grow up if they think their kids need to break up.
If you are so drunk you don’t know you are trying to kiss your sister- go to rehab. No alcohol can make you attracted to your sister unless you already were. Hope she stays far away from him since it seems like he will do something to her again. If she was going to confront him it needs to be supervised with the rest of the family so she is safe.
Love you guys I found your page a few days ago and have been watching you guys nonstop since! I’m a new mom of two under two to say less you guys are giving me life!!! Keep up the great work!
First, I'm obsessed with your pod cast, I just found it and I've been BINGING all of them. Third story, all of them but the daughter needs to be submerged in rice 😂 ❤️❤️❤️
Isn’t that what forgiveness is? To stop harboring hate & ugliness towards others. Forgiveness doesn’t mean welcoming them back into your life or whatever. It means to let go of that ugliness & it’s not for the other person but for yourself since it’s the only way to properly heal.
I absolutely do not see the problem that anyone had in the mother marrying the fiance's dad story. There is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying your stepbrother, especially under those circumstances, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with the parents getting together either. Neither person should have to break up their relationship or cancel their wedding. There's no blood relation, and there isn't even a growing up together relation. There's nothing there to be grossed out or upset about.
Hi guys, absolutely love your podcasts. Esp when i'm working and doing a tedious task, you make it fun :))) Also love it that your channel has grown so much since I first watched you! Keep on going! ❤️
About the story about the mother who married the fiancé’s father... If that were me, I’d use every opportunity to be like “what are you doing step bro?” 😂
Okay the story about the friend having an affair with the dad, it does sound like grooming and it also sounds like victim blaming. She just turned 18 when they first hooked up (probably before that).
story 2- sorry alejandra, but there’s no defending the mother in law. her behavior wasn’t changed by grief, it sounds like from the beginning that mil was pissy that op was taking her son to doctors instead of healing him with crystals. and she used the pettiness to try to shame her on the day of her son’s funeral. there’s no grief changing, that was consistent from the day of diagnosis. i was thrown off by alejandra right off the bat not seeing the red flags, but it was the devils advocate coming in clutch lmao
I feel like there are different types of forgiveness. Complete Forgiveness- Used for small grievances, like being late or forgetting an anniversary. Forgiveness of Convenience- You've done something wrong we need to return to and discuss, but neither party has the mental or emotional energy to do so. False Forgiveness- Used to save face, in mostly marriage or familial relationships. True Forgiveness- Both Parties understand the problem and can discuss it healthily and move forward. Changed, but not to damaged.
Re: the dad sleeping with the friend story I know I’m super late here (now that I’m caught up on the audio episodes I’ve started watching the youtube versions), but I did find it upsetting and a bit concerning to hear both of you not only placing blame on the friend but continuing to emphasize it. You had the right idea that the father absolutely groomed her and is a predator, except you then missed the point that because of that fact, the friend is completely absolved of any fault. That is victim blaming. I know it’s hard to fully see it that way given that all of it is coming out years later when she’s fully an adult and the relationship has continued, but she still is and was absolutely a victim. I’m sure you guys have addressed this and grown from it in the year since this episode came out, but I only wanted to leave the comment since I couldn’t seem to find any others mentioning my concerns. Loved the rest of the episode otherwise ❤
I found this podcast on tik tok and I needed to her more !!! I love these UA-cam videos, I put them on in the background while doing homework and it helps me concentrate. You’re doing amazing :D
People who have sex with people their kids age is so disturbing to me. How are you sexually attracted to someone that could be your child’s friend, or that you KNOW is your child’s friend. If you’re 60 and have no kids and you’re dating 25 or 30 year olds, go for it. If you’re 45 and dating a 20 year old who is the same age as your daughter, seek therapy. To me it’s completely inappropriate and makes me worried for the older person’s child.
That was so well put! By not forgiving, your treated like you’re the reason for disruption. It’s so absurd! Let me be on my own terms. I’m not responsible for cleaning the shit that hit the fan
For the second story, is it really an invitation, an apology if people are DEMANDING that you go? If they're blaming you for the situation? Hey, MIL, actions have CONSEQUENCES. You can apologize if you want to; it's HER choice whether or not to accept it. DEAL WITH IT, MOM.
Alejandra's experience at the end is so similar to mine! Similar age range and situation. The psychologist said I was perfectly normal. I was going through hell, but they called it fine?!
I wish I got therapy when my parents divorced ! I have serve trauma from what my mom put me through. Now I'm a mom of 2 beautiful girls & I try my absolute best not to repeat my mother's steps.
I love ur podcast!! U and ur friends are so raw and genuine AND intellectual like wow love to see it keep at it girl!! youll be huge one day mark my words bby!!
I was raised to respect my elders but I’d my MIL told me I’m a bad mother at my son’s funeral, I’d fucking lose it! I’d throw hands at that point! How dare you kick someone while they’re down? Those parents are going through probably the worst thing that can happen in any ones life. How cruel!
My comment relates to the third story. This is not okay in anyway whatsoever. A conversation should happen with the family (the siblings with their significantothers and the parents). There is no excuse for this behavior. My brother is almost 10 years older than me so I can kind of put myself in her shoes, to a degree. Mine situation is a little different in that my brother was almost like a father figure to me because my dad wasn't home much until I was about 8 or 9 y.o. His wife has a right to know. Not telling the wife puts everyone in a horrible situation and brings up the long time conundrum of "if you catch your friends boyfriend cheating do you tell her?" situation. In this open, honest family conversation a decision on intervention, future conduct and possible therapy need to be address.
4:23 first story
19:06 second story
41:41 third story
yw ;-)
Thank you for this because I have yet to figure out adding markers 🤦🏼♀️😂
@@TwoHotTakes i found this yb video with him explaining it on the 3th chapter. Good luck :D
ua-cam.com/video/pvkTC2xIbeY/v-deo.html&ab_channel=tubics
@@TwoHotTakes i think if you include the timestamp in your description, it will block out the time for you on your video. Never tried to know if it'll work, but worth a shot
THANK YOU 🌻
@@TwoHotTakes p p
Oh yes
“Your title to my child doesn’t make you entitled to my child”
PERIOD
PERIODT
THIS
Love that 👍 Amazing grandparents are great, but no one has a right to be a grandparent. Kids and adults want parents, so you fucked up if the adult decides you’re bad enough that they don’t want a parent and do not want their child to have a grandparent.
@@clairer342 Been in this sitch, & even worse than jacking with a child's spouse is what these parents drag their own kids through in the process. I believe there is ZERO justification for treating kid(s)-in-law poorly. You treat your OWN child poorly in the process. Everyone grown needs to act like it.
If that m.i.l. was tough enough to confront a grieving mom at the baby's funeral she's tough enough to call and apologize on her own behalf. She's not sorry she just wants access to the new baby
Love when family is a transactional relationship 🙃
Re: the drunk brother story
How can anyone say he didn’t realize who she was when he literally said her name RIGHT BEFORE trying to kiss her???
If he said a different name then that would be an understandable excuse to say he mistook her for someone else, but he said HER. NAME. and immediately after tried to kiss her. He knew who she was.
That's exactly what I thought too.
Right??? I wish OP had brought that up when her parents said that, but tbh they were committed to not handling it anyway
@@britnicox3929 I yys
I had a friend who was raped by her older brother and he continued with this behavior several years later. She told her parents because it messed her up mentally and it was no difference. Today they have a better relationship and she has "just put it under the carpet". It is so difficult when it comes to family and you otherwise have a good relationship with them. My advise to OP is to cut him off if that is what she needs to do. And do not get drunk or in an otherwise fragile state around the brother that he can misuse. Cause I'm sure he will.
That first story that mom doesn’t love her which is sad but to do that to her child after knowing how long she has been with her partner and demand that she not get married is vindictive and mean.
Why aren’t there more comments about the disgusting father sleeping with the daughters friend for years? Like that man literally deserves some jail time. But the mom shouldn’t be blaming the daughter for her husbands actions and him failing the marriage. She’s scapegoating because she knows her husband clearly didn’t want to be with her
Seriously!?! I'm checking the comments and I just see the MILs drama
Yeah another thing why didn't the daughter go with them to dropp her off like I always get in the car too to drive my friend home
I mean the whole thing is bonkers and I feel so bad for the girl and not excusing the dads actions just was wondering
I know!! I know this is so old but omg I ran to the comments after I heard that , it made me sick to my stomach. I thought for sure I’d see more ppl shitting on him and having some sympathy for the girl. It made me a bit sad to think OP might blame her friend as much as her dad.
Yeah. That dad needs to be put in a ring for one round with Mike Tyson.
Omg can y’all please make an episode about “pick me’s”
Oooo we shall see what we can find!
Can someone explain exactly what a pick me is? I sort of get the idea, but I feel like I’m missing something 😅
@@nicholelasater4881 oh a pick me is a type of person(usually a woman) that degrades her/his gender for the validation of the other gender. Usually that person is also super sexists!
@@brenduuhh2000 also very much a "im not like other girls type", or when its a guy the "im so ugly why would you talk to me" type of pwrson
@@nicholelasater4881 im glad you asked this cos i didn't know 😂
I am less concerned with the weird dynamic of the first story as everyone is adults, it’s not like anyone grew up together or was raised together. No one is biologically related. It also makes visiting the parents much easier as they’re both in the same place. 😹 My problem is with the secrecy and the implication that their choice should affect her and her fiancé at all and whether or not they get married. Perhaps his dad will see just how crazy her mother is and get an annulment. One can only hope.
I generally don’t see an issue with step siblings marrying. No shared DNA no issue
It’s the “you need to leave your fiancé cause I’m now married to his dad” for me.
@@el_kitteh720 yeah that’s the biggest problem by far. If anything the mom should have been like you probably have a longer life, so your marriage will bring you joy for more years, not the other way around. And it was rude to elope before them. The kids had dibs 😂
@@Lovethyself887 I only see the problem if they have been raised together as siblings since they were really young. Like my cousin is adopted. She was adopted when I was 4 and she was 1.5 years old. Technically, we don't share DNA, but she is still my cousin. If it would have been someone actually living in my household as my sibling, it would be even weirder. (Also, NOT IN AMY WAY SAYING I WOULD DATE MY COUSIN! JUST TOOK IT AS AN EXAMPLE!) But yeah. No shared DNA usually applies, unless you have grown up together and actually see each other as siblings.
Agree lol
I can’t imagine that there is any amount of alcohol that could make someone forget that they are trying to kiss their f*cking sibling!
That man was already creepy towards her and the fact he pushed her to drink as soon as she turned 18 is just so sus. She should go no contact with the brother and if the parents aren’t repulsed by their sons behaviour and keep protecting him cut contact with them too.
I hope op can heal from this
Okay I agree.. I think it was just so hard to grapple with. Good call. we totally made excuses for him and he did not deserve it!
@@Alejandra-hz6ct no problem, I was pretty in shock too when I first heard the story and actually listened to it again because I was so baffled 😅
@@Alejandra-hz6ct he literally held her hands behind her back and slammed her against tables as a child. That’s not a brother thing to do.
I would be like “I’m further along in my pregnancy than their relationship”
What gets me about the brother one is that he *said her name.* He was fully aware of who he was trying to kiss, even drunk
One thing I don’t think was really discussed in the first story, is that the fiancé’s dad went along with it too. It wasn’t just OP’s mom. Fiancé’s dad also thought it would be totally fine 🤦♀️
I think it's totally fine ,if they waited for op's wedding and were honest about it.It not really that bad of a situation ,but the way they go about is really disrespectful .And to tell your daughter to cancel her wedding , for what?! .There is a right way and a wrong way to go about it , and these people choose poorly.
if i was the young couple #disown those dumb people
To be fair since OP is the one writing the story, obviously it will be more about OP’s mom. That’s her fiancé’s dad not hers so she doesn’t have to talk about that side and probably didn’t have much of a conversation with his dad anyway.
Yes!! They could’ve played anywhere else, but they both decided to play on home turf so to speak.
On the first story, OP’s mother is now the ugly evil step-mother (mummy dearest). Very fitting for such a toxic mother. Fiancé father is also toxic, not as much. But he was easily manipulated due to his wife’s death; though two years ago. OP should still marry, go no contact with evil step-mother and low contact with FIL because you know that marriage will not last. I would possibly not invite FIL to the wedding, birth, holidays etc unless he could separate himself during those times because mummy dearest will not be attending.
I would handle explaining, when asked, by saying the truth (point blank) especially in front of her. There is no reason to justify your marriage.
My Cousin earlier last year lost her son on mother's day sue to him choking on a marble. Her son was the sweetest and kindest boy on the planet. I still remember in the hospital how her mom and aunts were blaming her for not being able to save her son. It broke my heart seeing her there emotionless. I just can't imagine what those parents in story 2 went through. That Mother in Law may be grieving in a different way but she had no right to blame the death of her grandson on the mother.
Wow that Is so f**cked up!! Did u say anything to them?? Rotten people. I feel horrible for ur cousin.
Can we also talk abt how the first mom like didn’t NEED to get married, like I feel like knowing this man’s son is your daughter’s fiancé you would choose to just be “life partners” or long term bf&gf instead of jump straight to marriage after knowing the man 3 months
It could be her having an insecure attachment pattern and taking huge risks in relationships that aren’t that secure… or maybe she thought that by marrying the guy, she could force her daughter to call off the wedding
Honestly, older people just get weird and insecure when you get married before them. My husband’s older brother’s gf is like that. As soon as we got engaged, she talked incessantly about when BIL would propose and where they’d get married and starting to try for kids. Then, after we got married, it ramped up more with her showing rings apparently BIL was secretly looking at, saying her moissanite would be bigger than my diamond, and insisting on being referred to with marital family terms like SIL and DIL, calling my MIL her MIL, and interestingly not referring to me as a SIL herself. She sort of pretends I’m not in the family and is very mean to me. She makes efforts to discredit our relationship by saying they were together longer (they weren’t) and referring to us as kids. So, yeah, I never would have thought that someone would get jealous over a relationship of their partner’s sibling and wife, but… here we are😅
Fr! My mum and stepdad(whom I consider more of a father than my bio dad) have been together for more than half of my life and they have yet to get married, and they don’t plan on getting married any time soon lol
Oh my god I just realized, with the TW child death story, this mother in law offering to pay for the new baby could totally be her trying to establish financial rights and further proof that op is an unfit mother, and then try and get the baby taken away
Oh my godddd... I wouldn't put it past her honestly..
Also, with the brother-trying-to-kiss-his-sister story, let’s not forget that right before he leaned in to kiss her, he said “Oh” and then HER NAME. So that’s clearly bullshit that “he didn’t know who she was”... LOL he literally identified her right before.
These stories make me appreciate mother-in-law, whom I consider my second mom, sooooooo much. Like this lady legit bought me nursing bras when I had my kids. ❤️
that is a BLESSING 💓 happy for you!
About the second story and Taylor Swift wise words: “Yes I got your letter, yes I’m doing better. I know that it’s over, I don’t need you closure”.
She does have a way with words 🙌🏼
That’s so sad with the baby who died and mother in law blaming her. Wow! That mother in law is evil. This I will never understand when they are also mothers.
I love this podcast. I have been binging for the past couple days.
Me too!!
I don’t blame the ‘bad mother’ OP for declining to accept her MIL’s ‘apology’ and financial help with Baby #2. Money comes with strings attached and MIL’s clearly shown how toxic she can be when shit goes sideways, so the last thing OP would want if there’s another congenital heart problem is not being able to do what’s best for her child because MIL has more ‘power of the purse.’
The mother in that 1st one. I'd be surprised if that marriage lasts.
I wouldn’t be surprised if op and the fiancé separated that she’d divorce the dad 🤷🏽♀️
and if it doesn't last, the OP's relationship is still ruined because it will affect them again. Any outcome is really bad
The father and friend ‘grooming’ story. I feel so bad for OP. It’s like the mother is lashing out at the daughter because she is hurt by the news she had to tell her. She’s angry that she heard something she didn’t want to hear. Maybe she knew deep down but didn’t want to face reality and then when it came to light, she got furious at the fact that her denial was supported by hard evidence and it got too real for her. It’s wrong of her to be angry at OP, but she is deeply hurt to know that her husband is a predator. I think everyone needs therapy and the father need to be put behind bars.
I find it fucked up because depending on what the father did, the friend is also a victim. With cheating, the one in the relationship is supposed to guard it so even if she was an adult, he would be at fault. And he most probably groomed her to have sex with her on the day she became 18, she could also be a proxy for the daughter. Super fucked up.
The mother in law who said that to that poor woman.. I have no words. And the husband telling her to go to the "apology" dinner? How would he feel if it was him who got called a horrible father at his own child's funeral in front of everyone? Absolutely insane how little empathy his entire family show his grieving wife. No words.
Found y’all on TikTok and now I’m hooked
“Printer no facts” girly it’s facts, no printer😩✋🏻
See exactly why I don’t understand the lingo! 😂😂😂
Lmfao bc I wasn't going to correct her but it's "No printer, just fax"
@@kylovesart it's definitely all facts, no printer. That's the more popular version. I've literally never heard or seen your version.
@@Orion_TheyThem the pun really only makes sense the way the other person said it but I guess it's one of those things that if enough people say it one way that's what the saying becomes.
I once dated a guy that’s parents swapped with his sister’s boyfriend’s parents lol. Weirdest thing ever. His mom started dating the dad, and then the other mom was bitter and furious, so she then started dating his dad and they completely swapped houses and everything. The sister ended up breaking up with the guy later on and the parents are still swapped. It was super awkward for years and still is, and this past year, the sisters ex passed away. Talk about a lifetime movie. My ex was super messed up over it all
Love this podcast so much. Can you pretty pretty please do a narcissist father/parent episode in the future? I'm dealing with a narcissist father and would love to hear how other people's stories.
Oooo yes. I’m doing a family part two with my dad. Will try to find some stories for that!!
@@TwoHotTakes ah I can't wait! Thank you so much, made my night 😁
I’ve gotta admit, Alejandra and Lauren are my favourite people that you have episodes with. I don’t get really all that excited about popular guest from tiktok or otherwise, I always get more excited for episodes with Alejandra and Lauren. And Justin, he’s always got good responses!
Sister kisser knew what he was doing. Remember he said her name out loud first. He was hoping she was just as drunk too.
That first mom is so out of pocket, I almost choked on my food omg...
You actually CAN win with a narcissist. You win by choosing to NOT engage with them. You win by setting extremely strict boundaries and never relent on that decision or position. Narcissists ABSOLUTELY hate if when they can no longer control, affect you, and/or manipulate them.
I know of sisters that married a pair of twins. It’s a strange dynamic but there’s technically no incest or anything like that. I feel like if the parents wouldn’t have had so much secrecy, and they hadn’t gotten married so quickly, it wouldn’t have been as bad. The mom was super toxic in saying the OP should cancel her wedding, but if they would’ve been open and honest that they liked each other, maybe they would have accepted their relationship eventually.
Yes making friends at 27 is so HARD!
Sooooo hard. I had so much anxiety 🙈
So hard! I tried the bumble BFF thing and that was weird. I moved to MI in my late 30s for work. So hard.
@@wisneta my friend gave that a try and she think it's alright. I think it's over-reaching to find an BFF right away, but it's a good change to find a hang-out buddy to start with. That point on is just if both parties want to care about each other more enough to become better friend eventually.
best of luck to you know, moving is always a big change....
Really loving the podcast! Been binging them while driving because I personally don’t know how to navigate through Reddit. Just finished the entitlement episode and wanted to say since the ladies said they’re sensitive girls; I hope that (even though it’s easier said than done) you guys don’t take negative comments too much to heart. I know you guys think you sometimes sound stupid but I can just tell that you guys are educated women and are learning how to be better and better after each episode. And real talk.. I’d like to assume that most convos between best friends are usually lighthearted and la di da sometimes and not robotic. It wouldn’t be easy to listen to robots talking about saucy stories. Keep up the great chats ladies ❤️
I truly love Alejandra’s opinions. She gives super level headed, non-biased advice ❤️
That first story, that mother was insane. Unhinged! Also A lot of lgbtqi+ people have chosen families and we often have issues with our families. So when people say blood is thicker than water or friends are temporary but blood is forever. Doesn't apply for everyone.
Alejandra is my absolute favorite guest! I know it will be an amazing episode when I see her😁❤️ super cool girl evening vibes, really miss it in the lockdown
Wow I am 🥺 so honored. Thank you Daria!! We love bringing you girlfriend vibes!
Going to binge this podcast all day! Found it on tik tok and this exactly the vibe I was looking for to add to my podcast addiction 😂😂❤️❤️
I feel like the woman with the drunk brother story should seriously consider going to therapy to help her work out her feelings and how to move forward. That’s twisted, and would honestly mess up my brain. I feel so terribly for her and this situation that he put her in.
“Im physically unwell” 🤣 Alejandra girl ilysm imma start using that
Literally you guys posted this at the perfect timing, doing some deep cleaning and was looking for something good to listen to ❤️
I have a son with a conventional heart defect, if I lost my son during his surgeries and my ex's mom ever said something like that to me I would have cut her out of my life completely
Congenital*
Listening to this podcast is my favorite way to wake up in the morning. I get my coffee, get comfy, and listen while I “wake up.”
The fact that the mom told her daughter that her daughter couldn't marry her fiance anymore is so presumptuous and awful. That's the part that got me.
The father sleeping with daughter's friend is disgusting to say the least,the father and friend should be ashamed of themselves but the mother blaming the daughter is crazzzy ,she just only found out and she didn't cover up for them which speaks volumes about her character,my heart really goes out to the girl🤍
literally ADORE your and alejandra’s energy! i’ve been binging this channel, y’all are amazing!! cant wait to watch more, y’all make my day!💜💜💜
that is so sweet, Sabina :) thanks so much!!
SORRY Sabrina*** :)
@@Alejandra-hz6ct of course!!! i meant EVERY WORD
@@Alejandra-hz6ct AHAHAH funny thing is i made this fake name in MIDDLE school bc i thought someone would steal my identity (like someone would want a 12 y/o’s identity tf) so this isn’t even my real name so i don’t even know how to change it so you’re ALL GOOD lmfaooo
I would recommend this podcast to anyone
Very happy that Alejandra is back for another episode, I really like her vibe!
I always look forward to listening to these, binged a ton earlier this week and now have notifications for new uploads. Love the long episodes!
Therapy needs to be more widely accessable and affordable. Some therapists are a hundred or two hundred for one hour. I definitely can't afford it and I'm not shocked more people don't have therapists, shits expensive! I choose food and a roof over my head. unfortunately that means mental health is not top priority 😵😵
these stories mind blow me tbh. I thought my family was crazy (i mean they are) but wow people can make decisons that are fucked up. also love your podcasts!! yall need more views!!
Kintsugi is the most beautiful way to see the part you guys talk about "breaking the glass" in a relationship. It can be beautiful after being fixed. My Husband and I definitely both broke the glass but it was created into something more beautiful with the gold of love. ❤
I found your podcast yesterday and I'm OBSESSED💛
I've been binging all the episodes😂
For the first story I'd just like to say that my Dad's dad and Mom's mom recently got married. Everyone is fine with it. My mom wasn't at first, but mostly cause me and my dad teased her ( him saying they're step-siblings and that I'm my own cousin so rightfully so to be upset at first on her part), but after thinking about it she was happy for her mom because she's been widowed for a long time. So I see no problem with the parents getting married. I do see problems with the eloping and not sitting down as adults and saying they've connected and fell for each other, but they can't say the kids have to break up! The parents REAAALLY need to grow up if they think their kids need to break up.
The dad in the first story is wrong too he knew what he was doing all around both their parents are bogus
Yea save it for turkey day that way we also have food with the entertainment 😌
This ^ yes!’
I am so impressed by your education on horses. A horse girl myself, who grew up on them. I agree. They are the best. You’d love my mini pony LeRoy
I’m so excited to listen to a full podcast!!! I’ve been watching clips on TikTok for so long
If you are so drunk you don’t know you are trying to kiss your sister- go to rehab. No alcohol can make you attracted to your sister unless you already were. Hope she stays far away from him since it seems like he will do something to her again. If she was going to confront him it needs to be supervised with the rest of the family so she is safe.
omg i've been obbsessed with this podcast and started to watch all of them and now I just learned that Morgan is a Swiftie, just LOVE IT
You guys should do Worst MIL/SIL’s. They are so many of them!
If my mom did that to me then I seriously would never forgive her. I would legally no longer be a part of her family.
Love you guys I found your page a few days ago and have been watching you guys nonstop since! I’m a new mom of two under two to say less you guys are giving me life!!! Keep up the great work!
Agreeing with the first third of this episode; I’d LOVE to hear an episode dedicated to MILs and mother’s!!
Just want to let you know I've been binging your podcast and listening to them secretly at work. Keep it up love it.
First, I'm obsessed with your pod cast, I just found it and I've been BINGING all of them. Third story, all of them but the daughter needs to be submerged in rice 😂 ❤️❤️❤️
Alejandra's voice reminds me so much of Naya Rivera!! Also love the podcast!
Omg I was a huge fan of Naya’s on Glee so I am taking this as a compliment ♥️😍🙏🏼 Thanks Molly!!
@@Alejandra-hz6ct Yesss I love Naya Rivera
Isn’t that what forgiveness is? To stop harboring hate & ugliness towards others. Forgiveness doesn’t mean welcoming them back into your life or whatever. It means to let go of that ugliness & it’s not for the other person but for yourself since it’s the only way to properly heal.
That father is a criminal 100%. The girl is not at fault whatsoever, that dad took advantage of the situation and she is the victim in this
First story: this is not the issue they’re making it. They can absolutely still get married.
I absolutely do not see the problem that anyone had in the mother marrying the fiance's dad story. There is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying your stepbrother, especially under those circumstances, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with the parents getting together either. Neither person should have to break up their relationship or cancel their wedding. There's no blood relation, and there isn't even a growing up together relation. There's nothing there to be grossed out or upset about.
33:44 yeah, you know since the husband is caving, he gonna sneak the baby around his toxic mother
Hi guys, absolutely love your podcasts. Esp when i'm working and doing a tedious task, you make it fun :))) Also love it that your channel has grown so much since I first watched you! Keep on going! ❤️
LOL the audio you were thinking of in pretty sure it’s “looks like a cinnamon role, will kill you, looks like it will kill you, is a cinnamon role”
About the story about the mother who married the fiancé’s father...
If that were me, I’d use every opportunity to be like “what are you doing step bro?” 😂
i love your videos you’ve became my new comfort creator lol 😂
Binging my way through all of these, LOVE😍
You guys literally make me want to just call you both and have a conversation about my life choices/situation 😂😂
Amazing how much you've griwn guys in these two years, congrats!
Okay the story about the friend having an affair with the dad, it does sound like grooming and it also sounds like victim blaming. She just turned 18 when they first hooked up (probably before that).
story 2- sorry alejandra, but there’s no defending the mother in law. her behavior wasn’t changed by grief, it sounds like from the beginning that mil was pissy that op was taking her son to doctors instead of healing him with crystals. and she used the pettiness to try to shame her on the day of her son’s funeral. there’s no grief changing, that was consistent from the day of diagnosis. i was thrown off by alejandra right off the bat not seeing the red flags, but it was the devils advocate coming in clutch lmao
I seem to have accidentally become a true crime junky, so I’m really enjoying your deep dives. Keep up the good work. Love you so much.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I feel like there are different types of forgiveness.
Complete Forgiveness- Used for small grievances, like being late or forgetting an anniversary.
Forgiveness of Convenience- You've done something wrong we need to return to and discuss, but neither party has the mental or emotional energy to do so.
False Forgiveness- Used to save face, in mostly marriage or familial relationships.
True Forgiveness- Both Parties understand the problem and can discuss it healthily and move forward. Changed, but not to damaged.
Re: the dad sleeping with the friend story
I know I’m super late here (now that I’m caught up on the audio episodes I’ve started watching the youtube versions), but I did find it upsetting and a bit concerning to hear both of you not only placing blame on the friend but continuing to emphasize it.
You had the right idea that the father absolutely groomed her and is a predator, except you then missed the point that because of that fact, the friend is completely absolved of any fault. That is victim blaming. I know it’s hard to fully see it that way given that all of it is coming out years later when she’s fully an adult and the relationship has continued, but she still is and was absolutely a victim.
I’m sure you guys have addressed this and grown from it in the year since this episode came out, but I only wanted to leave the comment since I couldn’t seem to find any others mentioning my concerns. Loved the rest of the episode otherwise ❤
as someone hwho had congential heart disease, and survived open heart surgery, the one about thw son with the funeral really tugged at my heart.
I am watching old podcast videos cause I found your channel I want to say late December 2022, and I AM OBSESSED with this podcast oh my god.
I found this podcast on tik tok and I needed to her more !!! I love these UA-cam videos, I put them on in the background while doing homework and it helps me concentrate. You’re doing amazing :D
People who have sex with people their kids age is so disturbing to me. How are you sexually attracted to someone that could be your child’s friend, or that you KNOW is your child’s friend. If you’re 60 and have no kids and you’re dating 25 or 30 year olds, go for it. If you’re 45 and dating a 20 year old who is the same age as your daughter, seek therapy. To me it’s completely inappropriate and makes me worried for the older person’s child.
That was so well put! By not forgiving, your treated like you’re the reason for disruption. It’s so absurd! Let me be on my own terms. I’m not responsible for cleaning the shit that hit the fan
For the second story, is it really an invitation, an apology if people are DEMANDING that you go? If they're blaming you for the situation? Hey, MIL, actions have CONSEQUENCES. You can apologize if you want to; it's HER choice whether or not to accept it. DEAL WITH IT, MOM.
I love listening i listen every time I’m at work
Alejandra's experience at the end is so similar to mine! Similar age range and situation. The psychologist said I was perfectly normal. I was going through hell, but they called it fine?!
I wish I got therapy when my parents divorced ! I have serve trauma from what my mom put me through. Now I'm a mom of 2 beautiful girls & I try my absolute best not to repeat my mother's steps.
I love ur podcast!! U and ur friends are so raw and genuine AND intellectual like wow love to see it keep at it girl!! youll be huge one day mark my words bby!!
For the brother she said he said her name so he had to have known who she was, drunk or not....
Love watching the family ones since I was always told family is bond and it’s great when I never had good times with it
I was raised to respect my elders but I’d my MIL told me I’m a bad mother at my son’s funeral, I’d fucking lose it! I’d throw hands at that point! How dare you kick someone while they’re down? Those parents are going through probably the worst thing that can happen in any ones life. How cruel!
Why are the victims always treated like the ones in the wrong instead of the perpetrators??
My comment relates to the third story. This is not okay in anyway whatsoever. A conversation should happen with the family (the siblings with their significantothers and the parents). There is no excuse for this behavior. My brother is almost 10 years older than me so I can kind of put myself in her shoes, to a degree. Mine situation is a little different in that my brother was almost like a father figure to me because my dad wasn't home much until I was about 8 or 9 y.o. His wife has a right to know. Not telling the wife puts everyone in a horrible situation and brings up the long time conundrum of "if you catch your friends boyfriend cheating do you tell her?" situation. In this open, honest family conversation a decision on intervention, future conduct and possible therapy need to be address.